There were no conversations on the way back to Division. The Alpha team took their own transport, recovering from their loss. Michael and Nikita were left alone in their car, completely silent. They wanted to talk, but what exactly could they say without dissolving into an argument. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as his thoughts raced. She just stared out the window, attempting to get her breathing under control. Part of why she couldn't breathe was because falling out a window severely hurt her ribs. The other reason was because she was on the verge of a panic attack.
God, she was an idiot. And not just for continuing to be reckless while pregnant. Mia's comments about what was truly worth fighting for swirled around in Nikita's head. Both women were fighting for freedom, but what really was freedom. No matter what, they'd have to reach it violently; someone was always bound to get hurt. The organizations they were meant to destroy would suck them in and possibly live past them. They only had the illusion of choice. What they were fighting for wasn't theirs to decide. They were as trapped as ever.
It wasn't until Nikita reached Medical that those thoughts stopped. She was thankfully given something else to focus on. She and Michael were separated inside Division- he had to brief Ryan on what had happened. However, she honestly preferred to be checked out alone. If something was wrong with her or the baby, she'd rather hear it first. She could tell her husband bad news better than the medics could. Fortunately, she didn't have to say anything. Falling out a window only left her with cuts and bruises. Even her earlier bleeding had no effect. Everything was completely fine. Michael didn't have to worry as he rushed back to her, "Nikita…"
"I'm okay. Everything's fine. It's just some bruising. Baby's completely fine," Taking hold of her husband's hand, Nikita reassured. She had seen the sonogram (and threatened the doctors not to reveal her pregnancy); the baby was still perfect. It was either a miracle, or Nikita finally had good luck. There was no way that would last long. The two should cherish the fact while they could, and start to change things for the future. Nikita knew that conversation was coming. Except, for the time being, he simply pressed his forehead against hers and breathed.
"You have to be careful," Almost inaudibly, Michael whispered. His prosthetic reached to grab his wife's hand, as his hand brushed her stomach. Nikita realized that he never caressed her lower abdomen with his prosthetic. If he ever wanted to feel their baby (even though there was nothing to feel yet) he used his real hand. There had to be something to that. He also did that with her. Whenever he comforted her, caressed her cheek, cradled her head, held her so softly, it was with his left hand. He hardly touched her with his right.
"I am. I will be. I'll always make sure the baby's okay," Squeezing his prosthetic, Nikita promised. She knew he couldn't feel her touch- maybe that was why he didn't reach for her with his fake hand- but she held tightly nonetheless. She just wanted Michael to know it was all okay. Her free hand tenderly dusted his cheek, scraping against his stubbled jaw. She wanted her husband to look at her. He didn't only have to breathe her in. If he looked her in the eyes, he'd know she was alive and well. And so was their baby. It was still fine. Nothing was wrong.
That was just Nikita's stance on things, however. Michael wanted to believe all was well. Yet he knew better when it came to Division and dangerous missions. What they said wasn't always what came to pass. There were no guarantees in their line of business- even death wasn't constant. Their only control was what they did with themselves. Michael had to make Nikita understand that. She and the baby were alright then, but what about the next day, or the day after that, "I know. But you were almost shot, and you fell out a window. I'm not just worried about the baby. I'm also worried about you. I don't want to lose you."
"You won't," Nikita swore. She was far too stubborn to allow Michael to lose another wife and child. He had to know that. Maybe he did; his gaze didn't seem to be absolutely lost in grief or pain. However, anxiety ruled his mind. He wasn't going to focus on anything besides his need to ensure everyone he loved was safe. Nikita couldn't fault him for that. It was a frightening situation. She just didn't want to delve into it- not while they were in Division. They could at least wait until they were home, or for when things had settled. Until then, Nikita could turn her attention to an approaching Alex, ruining her moment with Michael, "Hey, Alex. Are you okay?"
"I heard you fell out a window. What happened? Are you hurt? Is the baby okay?" Alex stumbled into Nikita's room, full of concern. She probably shouldn't have been out of bed. She continued to feel shaky and weak; her head was certainly swimming at the rush of movement. She hadn't bounced back after the blood loss. Yet her shoulder felt fine. She probably wouldn't need the sling for long. She could be up and around, checking on her friends that needed her. While they were still on a mission, she couldn't sit and do nothing. She could be useful.
"Better than you. Come on," Slipping off her cot, Nikita disagreed with Alex's thoughts. The rest of the team had it covered- sort of. Although things had slipped away from them, Alex didn't have to worry. She should continue to rest and recover. There was no harm in her sitting out one operation. Nikita walked her back to her room, leaving Michael alone. The married couple should've had a real conversation; there were many things left unsaid, many things Nikita had to tell her husband. Yet she allowed herself to be distracted by her best friend. Talking to her seemed far easier at the moment.
Michael sighed heavily. He should've expected that to be how their conversation went. It was too soon after the incident for either of them to be rational. And he knew her thoughts had been racing since her encounter with Mia. A calm moment had to happen between them before anything real was reached. Michael could sense that Sean and Alex were in the same boat. So, he pulled the Seal with him to spar and relieve stress. Sean greatly appreciated it for a while. But then the former analyst's curiosity got the better of him, "How'd your talk with Alex go?"
"Probably the same as yours and Nikita's," Sean huffed. Despite the Navy men's best efforts, their injured wife and girlfriend were determined to rush right back into danger. They wouldn't rest, they wouldn't recover, and they definitely wouldn't listen. Normally, the women's stubbornness could be relatively ignored. The two could undeniably take care of themselves. But there was a difference when one of them was shot and had lost so much blood, and the other was pregnant. They had to operate differently; nothing could stay the same. But apparently, Sean and Michael were the only ones who believed that.
"Anyway. The guy came at me like this. I think he's former Special Forces," Reenacting how the terrorist leader had fought him, Michael just changed the subject. Talking about the lack of conversations with Alex and Nikita wouldn't help the men. Sean and Michael were on each other's side. It was the women they had to worry about- just later. The two were in Division at the moment, and they were alright. Other disasters could take precedence, namely the terrorist organization. They were far too trained for typical homegrown terrorists. And the leader, Joshua, used knife skills Michael hadn't seen before. More was definitely going on.
"Yeah. That's definitely a Seal move. But it's much faster. You've gotten slow in your old age, Pops," Smirking, Sean showed Michael how to actually do the knife move he had seen Joshua do; he even playfully slapped him to emphasize his point. The former analyst took a moment to adjust, and get his prosthetic used to the new technique, before retaliating against the Seal. He flipped the practice knife they had been using right out of his hands, and smacked him back on the chest. Sean blamed the fact that he had become distracted. He couldn't stop thinking about Michael soon being a father. He had to ask about it, "How's that going, by the way?"
"Besides the stress of my stubborn secret agent wife being pregnant? Really exciting," Understanding what Sean was curious about, Michael couldn't help but smile. A part of him remained annoyed at the lack of conversation with his wife- he was fairly certain she was hiding something from him. However, that couldn't outweigh his enthusiasm. He and Nikita were going to have a baby. Despite the bullshit they continued to deal with, it was a brilliant and happy future to hold on to. Their lives hadn't been completely stolen from them.
"Yeah?" Sean stood lamely on the sparring mat as he wondered. He hadn't really seen that from the married couple. He had heard Alex squeal about the excitement and gush about how Nikita seemed to glow whenever she talked about it. Yet inside Division, Michael and Nikita kept things hushed. They wouldn't show the special brand of stress they were under. Sean would sometimes catch them in tense conversations, however. What they were going through couldn't have been easy. But could there really be that much joy from an unlucky situation.
Tidying up after their sparring session, Michael chuckled to himself. He and Nikita should've talked to the friends who knew their secret more. It'd help them get out of their own heads. It'd also help them see the positives. The pregnancy wasn't all stress and fear. There were undeniable blessings as well- ones that made Michael grin like an idiot, "Yeah. We have our futures ahead of us. We're gonna have a kid to love and raise. We get to have a family of our own. After all this, we can still have a home. It's a special kind of hope to have."
Sean stared dumbfounded at Michael for a second. He didn't know what he was expecting from his reply, but it certainly wasn't that. Maybe because of the dark world the agents found themselves in, he believed Michael would be more pessimistic- or possibly a bit more grounded. Instead, the former analyst truly was elated to be having a kid. Even Sean's Seal buddies were more anxious than that, and they didn't face half the things Division did. Michael was something else, "Don't think I've ever met a father so excited to have a kid before."
"You, Alex, and Nikita really have to work on your parent issues," Shaking his head, Michael just had to say it. Not every parent-child relationship was melodramatic and ended in tragedy. Yes, Michael carried his own baggage with the tragic death of his daughter. But he had worked through that with the CIA psychologist. Although the others couldn't necessarily go to therapy, they could still recognize their problems and try to fix them. Their pasts shouldn't continue to hurt them. They should be free to live a happy life.
"It's hard when the girls don't listen," Sean only scoffed, however. Michael rolled his eyes; though, he didn't argue. They all had to learn how to listen. Nikita and Alex never left wherever they were to find the men. They were possibly talking and scheming on their own. Neither couple were in any position to communicate effectively. They had to rely on their friends instead. So, Sean and Michael left the women alone. They could have their peace. Their boyfriend and husband, on the other hand, would share with Birkhoff what they thought about the terrorist leader. They had to jump back into their mission to save the world.
Birkhoff didn't need long to track down Joshua. Sean thought it'd take awhile if the leader was Special Forces, possibly a Seal. But Shadowwalker's skills shouldn't have been questioned. Not only did Birkhoff confirm that Joshua was in the Army Special Forces and worked with the Seals at times (thus, where he learned the knife trick), he also found a service picture of the man. The photograph instantly had Michael intrigued. He recognized another man in the old picture. Next to the terrorist leader was the security officer he and Sean had questioned, "Wait. That's the security agent we talked to. They served in the same unit."
"I don't think it's a coincidence," Sean voiced easily. Under any other circumstance, two people who had served together bumping into one another would be a coincidence. But they weren't dealing with standard operating procedures. They never were when it came to Division concerns. Something really was going on beneath the surface. The training the terrorists received, the lengths they were going to in order to kill a senator, the security team linking back to the terrorists, it wasn't right.
"You run with that while I stop Mia," Nikita suggested as she finally joined the others. After her talk with Alex, she had a clear enough head to confront Mia again. She wasn't furious, and she didn't want to kill her. She also wasn't in a tailspin about the comments anymore. Alex helped Nikita see what was really important; they just had to help people. No matter how lost to a cause someone was, they deserved help. The former rogue would provide that. Once she appeased her husband before he argued, "With protection. And my new toy. Right, Nerd?"
"Yeah, yeah. I got you. Keep your pants on," Rolling his eyes, Birkhoff sighed. He had a couple new tech devices for the agents to try out. First was a drone to examine the stadium for Joshua, and gather evidence that he and his former Army buddy were up to no good. The second was a sort of taser for Nikita. She couldn't fire her gun at Mia if she were to wear the explosive vest again. But an electric shock could disarm the weapon and take out Mia. They didn't have to risk anything that time. Division was actually going to be prepared before they rushed in.
"Looks like you're all set. Let's do this quietly," Ryan ordered. The team didn't have to be told twice. They were pretty good at keeping a low profile and disguising themselves as FBI agents. The general public at the hockey arena weren't aware of what was occurring. Well, they knew of a security threat. They simply didn't know all the facts. Birkhoff's drone captured footage of Joshua and the security officer conspiring together, Michael and Sean were then able to corner them and stop them, and Nikita was able to talk to Mia. The mission had a solid start.
Nikita told Mia everything, helping her see the truth. As soon as she did, Mia was determined to stop Joshua's ongoing plans. There was still a bomb to deal with. While Nikita tried to delay the senator's entrance, Mia spotted the bomb. She got the terrorist to halt for just a moment. That should've been the end of it. But things took a turn for the worse (of course they did). Another security guard saw the bomb and tried to shoot. Mia blocked the bullet to save them all from the blast. She wasn't able to be helped in the way Nikita wanted. She didn't get to go home, despite the victory. Helping others wasn't so clear cut. Someone always had to suffer.