Clumsy at Love
Chapter 41: Closure and Goodbyes
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½
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"Mr. Saotome, welcome back!" the head hotel concierge greeted enthusiastically.
"Good morning, Mr. Watanabe," he replied.
"Oh, I see!" The concierge exclaimed. "That's why your wife returned last night because you're coming back today. We're glad to have both of you back, Sir!"
"Akane's here? I mean, my wife," he asked, suprised.
"Yes, sir. She walked by here late last night, but I'm afraid she might have been a little drunk ~"
But Ranma had already left before the concierge could finish his sentence.
As the elevator went up, he fidgeted and shifted, impatience showing on his face. He kept glancing at the passing floors. Every second felt like an eternity as he counted down to the moment he could step out and meet Akane again. God knows how much he missed everything about her.
He walked into their place, where the morning sun gently covered the surrounding. However, Akane was missing from the enchanting scene.
"Where is she?" He muttered, looking around.
Then, he heard the upstairs door open and close, followed by the sound of soft footsteps. He looked up, and there she was, standing at the summit of the long, winding staircase.
"Hey," he stammered.
"I'm back..." he continued.
"I'm sorry it took me this long but I'm finally home. I know I had a lot of explaining to do but ~"
Ranma chuckled as Akane stayed speechless and motionless. "Is my sudden appearance that shocking?" he asked.
"Right," he said, asking his own question. "You're not answering my calls, not even replying to my messages. It seems that you still have a conscience," he complained, continuing his monologue.
"Come on, aren't you going to give me a warm welcome?" he pressed on, a playful grin on his lips, attempting to diffuse the tension.
Akane's immobile body finally stirred. She looked away and uttered, "But I do not live here anymore. I'm just here to look for my remaining things."
"That's cold," he remarked.
"How's the big project in the US going?" she asked as she walked down the stairs. She wanted to make sure he hadn't given up on it.
"Is that all you're concerned about?" he inquired. "Was that reason why you badly wanted me to stay there and why you wanted to stay away? Like hell that's more important than us."
"Can't you see how am I trying not to hinder your success and be the cause of your failure?" She retorted.
"Who told you to do that for me?"
"Exactly." she interjected, her voice slicing through the air. "Why would you want me to do that for you? What am I to you? Am I just the hero to whom you're indebted? Someone you need forgiveness from? Or a charity project? Tell me, who am I in your life?"
"I thought I already made this clear. When I said I love you, I meant every word of it. "
"No, you don't," she said sharply. "Stop fooling yourself into believing that what you're feeling for me is love, because clearly it's not. You won't even share your dreams with me. You won't let me celebrate your accomplishments with you. And now, you wont even let me support you. Do you really even care about me? Or all you care about is my well-being and my future? It doesn't feel like love; it feels like you're just trying to save me or simply controlling me." Her revelation left him utterly stunned.
"Let's end this," she said firmly. "I need you to stop feeling sorry for me, stop pitying me. Stop confusing guilt and pity with love. Let go of any feelings you have for me, you're only hurting me."
"No, it's not pity... What would it take to make you believe that?" he protested, his voice tinged with helplessness.
Akane shook her head. She highly doubted that was the case but she won't hold it against him, not anymore.
"I'm sorry if I made you believe that the way I am was entirely your fault. The truth is, even if you hadn't hurt me, I'd still be feeling pain. Losing my mother broke my heart, and that pain has stayed. Saving me isn't about repairing my pride or self-esteem; it's my heart and soul that needs healing."
"But I think I'm okay now." She really is. She thought about it long and hard last night. "Your hard work and your sacrifices really done something. Thanks to you, I've found peace within my family. I used to think everyone hated me but it turns out, nobody blames me. Nabiki's issues with me are unrelated, and and my distant father blames himself for not being able to save my mother. But everything's fine now, Ranma," she said.
"...you can let me go now." she added, her voice faltering. Yes, really letting him go is all she could do as a payback for everything he has done.
"Thank you for everything." she said, her gaze finally shifting away from him.
"I lied," he blurted out, causing Akane to halt in her tracks. "I've been deceiving everyone, convincing myself that it's okay to abandon this project, to relinquish my dream, just to live the life my parents chose for me. I thought I had made up my mind to stay here, be the CEO of Saotome group of companies and be with you, but I'm not entirely at ease with my choice. Doubt and regret have been clouding my mind. But that doesn't mean that I love you less or my love for you isn't real."
"I'm sorry if I made you think that what I feel for you was not love. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I'm just saving you or controlling you... I swear I didn't mean to, it's the last thing I hope would happen."
"Thank you for everything you've said right now. Thank you for being honest with me once and for all. I'm ashamed of myself because you beat me to it."
"But it's not that I don't want to share my dreams and successes with you; it's that I'm worried if I'm allowed to share them with you. I'm uncertain about how you'll take it, that's why I keep it to myself even though I'm dying to share it with you and impress you."
"And lastly, I know how I feel, and I believe that if we stay together, I can accomplish much greater things. But I don't want to force anything on you right now, now when you had enough. I don't wanna lie either and tell you that l understand how you feel. But I could give us time apart, to reflect on our situation and for myself to seriously consider your doubts and worries. I don't want to let you go. I never want to let you go, but for now, I am letting you go."
Long paused.
"Thanks," she said breaking the silence. "I'll be taking my leave then."
He nodded but then called out. "Akane... Before I let you go, can I at least have our first embrace?" he asked, but not waiting for her response. He simply went ahead and allowed himself to succumb to his longing for once.
"This isn't our first," she said, correcting his statement but not resisting.
"I know," he chuckled. "Stay healthy and happy, hmm?" he softly whispered, his embrace getting tighter. "And don't miss me too much," he added jokingly, but she could feel his heavy heart thru his strained voice.
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It's almost been a year since Akane officially joined her father's company to become their Knowledge Manager. Sometimes, she can't believe she's finally doing things she forbade herself from dreaming about for so long until Ranma came and rescued her. She could say that she's happy with her career and content with her life, but still something is missing, or should she say, someone?
Every now and then, Ranma would intrude into her mind and remember their last encounter.
Is he happy now? Now that his dreams and ambitions exceed his reality? Is he already satisfied or still wanting more? Does he still think about her? Even now that she has already given him his long-awaited forgiveness and obtained the best closure for their bittersweet history.
Ryoga put down the magazine he was reading, where Ranma is featured on the cover page. "So, Ranma has been traveling around the world to promote his innovation?" he commented.
Ryoga had been trying to win her heart for a while now, but she had told him that she's still madly in love with her EX-HUSBAND. Though she's not sure why he's not buying that; he's still annoyingly persistent.
"Are you informing me, or was that a question? If it's a question, you'll be out of here and never be able to come back again," she replied in a threatening voice.
"Right," Ryoga agreed, pressing his lips together to prevent himself from saying anything further.
"Right," she repeated sarcastically, clearly annoyed.
Ranma had completed the turnover seamlessly and had become the talk of the town, gracing the covers of newspapers and magazines for months now in the US, Japan, and around the world.
He ended up not leading the team but became their official advisor. He received numerous offers from other countries and has been traveling around to promote his innovation and it's contribution to saving Mother Earth. And so, that's what the news articles and magazines were saying.
Isn't he truly amazing?
"You gotta let him go. It's been a year now," Ryoga noted cautiously, earning a glare from her.
"Not for my sake, but for your sake," he added sincerely.
She then lowered her gaze and whispered softly, "I know."