Most of Division's time was spent finding Ari's son. The man he had hired to protect Stefan had kept the teenager well hidden, even from his own father. Safety wise, that was excellent. Trying to save the boy from a psychopathic bitch, not so much. The agents and hackers were doing all they could to track Stefan down before Amanda could get her hands on him. Yet, despite the information Ari had given them, they hadn't gotten far. Division simply reached more and more deadends- their desperation growing. They had to find him soon; their promise to protect the innocent couldn't keep falling flat.
Between moving Sean's things from the bunker and back into her apartment, Alex did all she could to help in the hunt for Stefan. She got in touch with some contacts and assisted Division in following up on leads. None of it went anywhere, but at least they were all working their asses off. At least, Alex believed they were. When she went to Ryan's office to update him on something, she discovered that he and Sean were packing. The two had disappeared from Ops a while ago, yet she didn't question it until then. What could they have possibly been up to. They couldn't leave then. Everyone was needed to stop Amanda, "Where are you guys going?"
"Our latest encounter with Ari reminded me that we need to shore up better funding for Division. So I'm heading overseas to do just that," Ryan explained simply. Although the operating budget Division had currently allowed them to comfortably keep the lights on, Ari Tasarov just proved that there were going to be situations where they'd need more money. Division couldn't encounter another bartering match like the one with Ari; innocents couldn't suffer because they lacked the funds. The black ops group needed to be able to survive and fight.
Alex could understand why Ryan had to go. He had been in Division the longest, he had been appointed the new head, he knew what kind of money they needed to be successful. However, she couldn't understand why Sean had to tag along. He had just recently been allowed out of the bunker. It was finally safe enough for him to go home with his girlfriend. So why risk all that by making him follow Ryan overseas. Sure, he could handle himself, and he was less likely to be recognized in another country. But Alex didn't want him to go, even if he had a good enough reason, "And I'm going for protection."
"You?" Alex didn't mean to sound judgmental. Under normal circumstances, Sean was an excellent choice for a bodyguard. Yet his life had just been in danger. Shouldn't he be allowed to stay safe a little while longer. Alex could go instead; though, it'd be difficult to hide the fact that she was a famous heiress while they were doing financial stuff. But Nikita could go, if she wasn't busy with Ari. Owen and Michael, on the other hand, could easily provide Ryan protection. Or any other agent in Division. Sean wasn't the only option. He didn't always have to be the one in danger.
"Who better than a former Navy Seal who speaks politician," Sean attempted to calm Alex. It wasn't as though he was ordered to follow Ryan overseas. The two had talked, and he had agreed to provide protection. Considering what they were venturing into, it made the most since. Sean was used to an overseas protective detail. He was also used to decoding the doublespeak and half truths politicians usually spoke. Despite the lingering effects of his faked death still lingering over his head, Sean was perfect for the job. No one else could do better.
"What exactly are you doing overseas to get money? You know I can help out," Confused about what Ryan's and Sean's mission actually entailed, Alex offered up another solution. She had been completely fine helping the team with finances after Birkhoff had lost his money while they were rogue. Helping Division strengthen their funding would be no different. She wasn't doing much with her fortune anyway. Besides spending what she had to in order to live, and besides donations to a few charities, her money was just sitting there. Spending some on Division wouldn't hurt her, especially since it could help so many people.
"It's better that you don't know. And that you don't help," Shaking his head, Ryan shut down Alex's attempts to help. Although what he and Sean were doing was technically legal, it'd be best if not a lot of people knew about it; plausible deniability was always safer. It was also always safer to keep Alexandra Udinov's name out of Division's affairs. She shouldn't be linked to their activities if she wanted a life after all of that. Alex had to keep her money to herself. Even if it'd help Division greatly, she shouldn't have to put herself at risk like that.
"I'll see you later," Reaching gently for his girlfriend, Sean kissed her goodbye. She tried to argue more; she wouldn't let Ryan's brush off actually work. Yet it was too late for her to say anything else. Sean and Ryan grabbed the mission bags they had packed and headed towards transportation. Alex was left alone in the office, attempting to come to terms with what was going on. She still didn't like it. She didn't like the risk, and she hated the fact that she couldn't help. She understood the reasoning, but that didn't make it any better. It was almost like there were always obstacles in their way that didn't need to be there.
With that in mind, Alex's thoughts drifted from Division and towards more personal matters. Though, those days, they were basically one in the same. She couldn't keep Division out of her personal life, and her personal life couldn't stop seeping into the walls of Division. She had naïvely thought that that'd never be an issue. Yet she had been so wrong. Everything about the war affected her relationship- there was no escaping it. At least, it felt like that most of the time. But when Alex returned to Ops and spotted Michael, she realized that wasn't always true. The married couple had found some freedom, after all, "Can I ask you something?"
"I'm staying out of that," Michael nodded towards where Sean and Ryan had gone. When Ryan had said that it was better if he kept his plans to shore up funding to himself, Michael didn't push the subject. He trusted he knew what he was doing, and he trusted that Sean would have his back. Michael didn't have to worry about Division's money. Which was great, since his concern had to remain focused on Stefan. No matter the amount of information they vetted from Ari, Ops was nowhere near finding the teenager. They needed to start coming up with new ideas. Amanda couldn't beat them to the punch again.
"Fair. But that's not what I wanted to know," Alex sighed. Her dejected huff drew Michael's attention to her; he could ignore what was happening in Ops for just a moment in order to help her. It took her a moment to compose her question, however. She knew what she wanted to ask; she simply couldn't form the words. It wasn't easy to just blurt out. She couldn't be so vulnerable with her thoughts, "How have you and Nikita not let this war get in the way of your relationship? Like, you guys got married despite Division. What made you so sure?"
"Well, there have been times when Division has gotten in the way. She was undercover when we first met, I had to fake my death because of a Division hit, and you know the stuff with Brandt and some of the recent things. But we stayed together because we knew our relationship was worth it. Our love was stronger than anything that was thrown at us," Shrugging, Michael was able to answer Alex easily. He and Nikita had been talking about their relationship despite the war they were trapped in a lot recently. Their love was stronger than most things thrown their way, and it kept getting stronger everyday.
In all honesty, Alex was surprised by Michael's answer. She had suspected that he'd answer her seriously. But she didn't think he could be so romantic about it. Either she didn't know the married couple's relationship as much as she thought she did, or that was just how profound their love was. Alex chose to believe the latter. It was a fact she could apply to herself and Sean as well. Their love could be stronger than the shit thrown at them too. They'd have to talk once he returned. Until then, though, Alex wasn't up to sharing more of her feelings. So she simply joked, "Didn't know you could be so sappy."
"Why? What's up?" Rolling his eyes, Michael asked. He knew he wasn't the one to gush about his relationship or be so open about his feelings with the team (Nikita wasn't really one to do that either) but he didn't deserve the quip from Alex. What he deserved to know was what was going on inside her head. He assumed that she had more on her mind than what she had shared; she wouldn't have sought advice from him if that wasn't the truth. He had to know what she was thinking if he was going to help her. Maybe he could give her more advice.
"Just thinking about some stuff, you know with the recruitment and all," Although Alex wanted to shrug it all off, she knew that wouldn't have been right. She didn't have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She could turn to her friends for support whenever she needed it. And she honestly still needed it after Sean's recruitment. The team had helped a lot after the initial shock; they had helped Sean adjust, and they had helped ease Alex. However, her guilt still wouldn't go away. And recently, it felt like it had gotten worse. She couldn't stop thinking that there was something off between them, even though she knew that was ridiculous.
"Is some of the Amanda and Ari stuff getting to you too?" Michael guessed what also could've been messing with Alex's already jumbled thoughts. The fact that Ari and Amanda had been together for twenty years only for Gogol, Division, a war, all of that to pull them apart had Nikita reeling as well. Although it was Amanda and the relationship was more benefactory than real, twenty years wasn't nothing. They had to have meant something to each other before they betrayed one another. The lives they led couldn't have completely twisted them.
"They've definitely changed since the last time I ran into them," Alex admitted quietly. It was true that she didn't know Amanda as much as Nikita, Ryan, and Birkhoff, yet Alex had been kind of shocked to hear that the bitch had betrayed Ari. When she had worked with the couple from hell during their attempted Zetrov coup, she had believed they were the real deal. The two had gone on the run together and had started a war together. How could they have not been real. How could there be anything that didn't get twisted and demented because of Division.
"Yeah. That's what Nikita said," Muttering, Michael agreed with Alex. Nikita had mentioned before that Amanda had been acting dramatically different lately. Yes, the things she was doing weren't surprising- they were on par with her other manipulative, bitchy actions. But she seemed so far removed from the woman Nikita had met as a recruit. She was even far removed from the woman she was when she ran Division. Something had changed Amanda. She went from a villain to a super villain in just a few months. And it kept getting worse from there.
As Ops continued their search for Stefan, and Michael and Alex contemplated relationships inside Division, Nikita kept prying information from Ari. there wasn't much use in her constantly returning to him. He had already given them so much valuable intel. He was also getting frustrated with their lack of progress. It was as though she was torturing him all over again. There was only so much waiting he could take, "We are running out of time. I have given you everything I know about Amanda. Bank accounts, safehouses, contacts. Now get out there and use them to hunt her down before she finds my son."
"Michael will run all this intel through Ops, but you haven't given me everything. Tell me small details about Amanda. Anything. You were together for what, twenty years?" Nikita responded evenly. Michael and Ops had already taken what Ari had given them, and they were doing their best to find Stefan and Amanda. However, Ari didn't need to know that they had hit deadend after deadend. His nerves were already shot regarding his son. Nikita wouldn't make it worse. She only wanted to give him good news, once she had all her information.
"She was different then. Less unhinged," Deflating in his chair, Ari sighed. He didn't have to tell Nikita that, though. She already knew that Amanda had gone off the deep end recently. But she still didn't know the bitch as much as Ari did. Their twenty years together had to have been meaningful in some way. Although she loathed to admit it, there were some moments with Amanda from when she was a recruit that Nikita continued to hold fondly. Ari could still have some happy memories (well, as happy as one could be with the bitch) that could be useful. Anything could be used to nail her. Especially since Division was so desperate.
"What changed her?" Nikita wondered. She had her theories about what had made Amanda finally snap. Yet she wasn't sure which ones of those were plausible, and which ones were just her bitter, twisted thoughts. She needed the truth to sort all that out. Fortunately, Ari had actually been delivering on that. So far, the information he had given them had checked out. He was willing to tell the truth in order to save his son. Nikita found herself liking him a little bit because of that. But she didn't let that cloud her interrogation. He was still her enemy, after all.
"Moscow. You had a gun pointed at her and you didn't shoot. You let her live, and she found that self-righteous display of mercy to be humiliating. An insult she will never forgive you for," Ari replied darkly. Nikita froze. At the time, she had thought letting Amanda live was a good thing; she had thought Amanda would run off and never bother anyone ever again. But she had been wrong. She had been so very wrong. Nikita should've killed the bitch when she had had the chance. She shouldn't have tried to be a hero, "What I want to know is: do you forgive yourself? If you had killed her, a lot of people would still be alive today."