The State Verses Derek Morgan Ch 31
A couple of hours later Derek finally started waking up, he opened his eyes to see his mother sitting by his bedside holding his hand, he weakly smiled and said, "momma?", she looked up and said, "I'm so glad that you're awake baby boy". He said, "how long was I out this time?", she said, "a few hours, but you needed the sleep because something tells me that you're not sleeping, am I right?", he nodded his head and said, "no, no I'm not because when I sleep I have nightmares about baby girl".
Fran gently squeezed her son's hand and said, "baby, we need to have a talk", span class="il"Derek/span said, "please momma, please not now, can we do it later?", she said, "no honey we can't, we need to talk and it has to be now". He laid there looking at her as she said, "Derek Michael Morgan, I never want to hear of you doing that again, do you hear me?", he said, "doing what?", she said, "don't act stupid with me buddy, you know what I'm talking about".
He did indeed, she was talking about the fact that he hadn't fought back in the showers, he said, "you don't understand momma, you don't understand how empty and dead I feel inside", she shook her head and said, "you're wrong".
Derek said, "I'm sorry momma, I know that it was bad when you lost daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that", she patted his hand and said, "do you know what kept me going after your father died, what kept me getting up morning after morning after morning?", he said, "me, Sarah and Desi".
Fran said, "you would be correct, now I need to tell you something and I want you to listen to me", he nodded his head and said, "okay momma, I'll listen", she said, "I know that you loved Penelope and that she was the love of your life but do you think she would want you to act this way, do you think that she would want you to die?", the tears threatened to fall as he shook his head no.
Derek said, "no momma, no she wouldn't, she would want me to fight and to go on but I don't think I can momma", Fran said,"but you can baby boy, you're not alone, you have me, your sisters, the team, we're all here for you". He said, "I know that momma but I just feel so empty inside, like there is nothing left and I don't know if I can fight anymore to continue living in a world that doesn't have baby girl in it anymore".
Fran said, "you have to Derek, you have to live on for her, for Penelope, you need to live your life and be happy because that's what she would want you to do", he knew that his mother was telling him the truth, his baby girl would want him to go on with his life. Derek said, "momma", she held up her hand and said, "I want you to promise me that you'll never do this again, that if somebody tries to hurt you again that you'll fight, you'll defend yourself".
Derek sat looking at her, she looked so pale, so fragile, after a few minutes he said, "I promise momma, I won't do this again", she said, "pinky promise with me like we did when you were a little boy". He chuckled and said, "maaaaaa, I'm not a child anymore", she said, "but you are, don't you realize, no matter how old you get you will always be my baby boy", she smiled lovingly at him and said, "always".
Derek then held out his pinky and locked his with his mother, they then shook on it, she said, "good, now you have to keep your promise", he said, "I will, I will", he looked around the room and said, "where is everybody?", she said, "Dave went to get something to eat, Hotch went home for a little while to spend some time with Jack and Mia, well she went back to her office, she said that she would be here bright and early in the morning".
He nodded his head at his mother and said "I love you momma", she winked at him and said, "and I love you baby boy", Derek said, "Mia said that they had Penelope's viewing tonight?", Fran nodded her head and said, "yes we did". Derek said, "I bet the place was packed wasn't it?", Fran said, "it was, she had a lot of friends, a lot of people that knew and loved her, she will be truly missed", Derek said, "truer words will never be spoken momma".
Fran looked at her son and said, "tomorrow is her funeral, we'll come by afterwards and check on you", he said, "you don't have to momma, I know that you will all be going through a lot tomorrow, so you can go home and get some rest". She wiggled her finger at him and said, "I don't see that happening, besides your sisters want to see you", he held up his hand in surrender and said, "okay, okay, I give up, I give up".
She smiled at him and said, "well it's about time" as the mother and son sat smiling at each other, it had been a rough few days but his mother being here was the boost he needed because nobody knew him like she did, nobody.