Nearly double length chapter to make up for the long wait...and because with about half this chapter's rewrite I couldn't end it near my usual chapter length.
I had to really take my time with this being in an emotionally wrecked state, but I hope my own emotional state didn't transfer over too much.
Small TW: Mentions of death/execution/severe illness. Small hints of what had happened prior to Atem's death in this AU. Also mention of fertility issues, which have been mentioned prior. A bit more detail on that this chapter so I figured I would put it in the TW section. Also, mention of menstrual cycle (non-descriptive). It's gross to some, but it's a natural part of life.
There will be a line break for the recollection section. This is because it is not entirely in italics and I wish to mark that section (you'll see what I mean).
As soon as both Anubis and the gateway had vanished, Bakura turned on the feline that stood with her winged back still facing him.
"Are you fucking insane! You know you'll end up facing the Tribunal for what you've done!" he admonished with a growl, his ears flattened.
Kat appeared to ignore him as she turned and quickly circled him, closely examining the wolf-dog's body. She then stood in concentration, lightly scratching a clawed finger at her temple. Bakura's canine features changed to perplexion.
"There's something different…." she stated with a puzzled expression. After a few more moments of examination, Kat laughed in amusement. "Your fur got longer! And you're leaner! And your scar is gone!" she stated while trailing a clawed finger through the air in the pattern of the feature he used to bear.
Bakura's lowered ears marked his annoyance. "It is not longer! And what do you mean my scar is gone!?"
"Go look!" Kat said while pointing towards the pond.
The wolf-dog rushed to see his reflection on the water's surface. Kat was right: His scar was indeed gone, and the furred mane down the back of his neck was indeed longer than it had been prior. He was also much, much thinner than before.
"Seriously! Of all the things that could have changed!?" he growled.
Kat ran up and tousled the fur at the back of his neck. "It's fluffier too!" she stated in amusement.
"Shut up..." he scowled.
"Kura is such a cute and fluffy puppy!" she teased in an elevated voice, still fluffing the fur on his neck.
The wolf-dog's ears and shoulders fell in defeat and annoyance. "You and Mal get to be fearsome beasts….and I get….cute and fluffy…" he grumbled with his nose scrunched in irritation.
Kat began to scratch at a spot behind one of his ears. "Yes, but who's the best at being cute and fluffy?" she continued in her elevated tone.
Bakura's fluffy tail began to swish back and forth. "Stop it..."
"Awww…but you like it…."
"No I don't."
"That says otherwise," Kat commented while pointing at his wagging appendage.
Bakura looked over a shoulder at his tail, glaring at it. "Traitor."
"I'm going to check on Mal." Kat said casually before gliding away, leaving Bakura to continue studying his new appearance.
The obsidian lion walked carefully across the garden towards his quarters, being mindful of any foliage that he might accidentally step on. Kat landed before him, stopping him from proceeding with his plans of hiding until he could shift back, then studied the beads woven into his mane.
"I take it my suggestion worked?" she questioned.
The large beast nuzzled his forehead against the smaller feline, purring loudly.
Kat chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes!" she said happily, while rubbing the bridge of his large nose.
She felt something soft hit her side. Kat looked down and noticed a familiar sandal, then looked towards its owner. Atem stood unsteadily not far from her, his other sandal in hand.
"Why would you make that kind of a bargain!?" Atem chastised, his voice still hoarse.
Kat looked back towards the obsidian lion. "Mal, there's an annoying pest buzzing in my ear. Would you mind eating it?" she questioned boredly.
Malik's ears fell back as he tried to shrink away in his massive form. Unable to go far without destroying any plants underfoot, he opted for leaping over the top of the palace like it was an obstacle in a circus.
Kat looked towards where the larger feline had vanished with an unimpressed look on her face. "Coward!" she called out towards the earth elemental. She then looked back towards the one that annoyed her, releasing an irritated sigh. "And to think that for a split-second I was happy to see you back."
"You didn't answer my question."
"I did what you asked! What more did you want!?" she shouted.
"That's not what I had in mind!"
Kat attempted to strangle an imaginary version of Atem. "How the fuck else did you think I was going to make it happen!? I tried going the direct route, Meskhenet wouldn't even grant me an audience! I was left having to approach a member of the pantheon, most of whom I have defied or offended at some point or another! Anubis was my only option!"
Atem clenched his jaw in frustration. "I still can't believe you made a deal with him! I was better off stranded in the relic!"
Kat flattened her ears against her skull. "If you're not happy with your current situation, I'll gladly put you back. Or better yet, I say we skip the relic and I just send you straight to Duat."
At the mention of this, Imhotep and Yugi quickly ran over to separate the two by steering Atem in a different direction.
"Please don't piss off Shae when she's in that form," Imhotep begged. "She's not opposed to eating people."
Yugi paled. "Yeah...how about you don't try getting killed on your first day back to life?" he stated nervously.
Once again Kat found herself standing alone with a shirtless Marik, though this time she felt less inclined to seduce him. Instead her ears and shoulders shrunk in embarrassment, and she fidgeted nervously.
"I…..don't even know where to begin…." Marik started, breaking the awkward silence between them.
"….so…..now you know what I meant when I said I was a predator….." she said quietly, still fidgeting and casting a quick glance in the Tomb Keeper's direction.
"You drank his blood."
Kat scratched at the back of her neck nervously. "Part of an old curse that makes the Ma'at and Isfet within me as two separate entities. You're probably more familiar with it as the 'Curse of Sekhmet', though its origins date back much further."
"I think I recall it being mentioned in one of the scrolls I've read, but it never went into great detail on what it was exactly."
"I know you are well versed in the concepts of Ma'at and Isfet, so I can skip that part. Basically, the two concepts exist as separate entities within a singular body, but it's not like how it was with Yugi and Atem or Kura and Ryou. I would say it's closer to how you and Mal were. Once the balance shifts, the Isfet takes control. Both minds are one though, unlike you and Mal. What you saw in me earlier...the...mania….that was me on the precipice of allowing the Isfet to take complete control. It is the only time I willingly refer to myself by the name Anubis gave me."
"So the Curse of Sekhmet is what Anubis was looking for? Why?" Marik questioned.
"Yes. Imhotep inherited it, but Yugi did not. Anubis was counting on them both inheriting it. Someone who possesses a split concept has to learn how to control the balance within them. An untamed Isfet can be collared and controlled by another."
"Like with Malik?"
"Pretty much. He doesn't bear the curse, but his mental state was never the best to begin with. His collar is simply just me applying my knowledge of how a split mind works."
"I still don't get why Anubis wanted Yugi."
"He wanted whichever of my heirs could revive Atem. Imhotep was born with both his magae and the curse in full effect, so he had to learn control at a very young age. It was the reason he could never be Atem's host. Anubis had counted on the curse taking full effect upon Yugi's Awakening, but it appears I was worried over nothing all this time. He's like how my own twin was. No magae, which means no curse. It also means there will be no Awakening for him. He is as mortal as any other human," she continued while looking away.
"Magae...what is that exactly? From what I've seen it's just magic," Marik stated, still trying to understand half of what was being explained to him.
"Magae is and isn't just magic. Normal magic can be learned and used by anyone. Magae is a part of a being's essence, like Ka. However it's something only found within Godaeshan descendants," she explained.
"Godaeshan? You mean the Gods?" Marik continued to question.
Kat nodded. "Essentially, yes. They consider themselves their own race, though each god and pantheon varies greatly. It's how they identify themselves from mortals, especially since they are mortal in their own way as well. Godaeshan's can die, just not through natural means such as aging, sickness, or even your typical death. Taking in my sire's blood without fully consuming him and taking his place is….extremely forbidden."
"You're not worried about the repercussions?"
"The Tribunal will debate for some time before even bringing me to trial. Even so, it's not like it's my first time. I'm kind of a repeat offender," she chuckled.
Marik sighed, then took a long look at the feline form in front of him. Bakura had been right about Kat being a black leopard. At the right angle, he could make out the rosettes. He also noticed that the feathers on the underside of her wings appeared to have an iridescent sheen to them when struck by the light, similar to that of a raven.
"You're staring…" Kat stated, feeling judged.
"I'm sorry, just taking in all the small details."
Kat took a few small steps backward. "I'll understand if you've changed your mind."
"Changed my mind? About what?" Marik questioned with a puzzled expression.
"Being with me…."
Marik stared blankly at her. "Why would I change my mind?"
"Look at me. I'm…." She couldn't finish. In her mind, everything she tried so hard not to be was out in the open.
"You're….what?" Marik continued to puzzle.
Kat lowered her head and looked away, speaking quietly. "….seriously...just look at me."
Marik gave her a perplexed look. "So what? Your true appearance has some fur and feathers. It doesn't bother me," he stated earnestly.
Kat raised an ear and cocked her head to the side while wrinkling her nose in confusion. "Maybe Kura was right about you having brain damage."
Marik laughed in amusement. "I'm still trying to figure out how you went from…" he gestured with his hand to her normal height, "to...well…." then gestured towards her current height.
Kat couldn't help but giggle. "And to think, both Mal and Kura are still taller!"
"Wait...what!? But Malik is already huge! He gets taller?"
Kat grabbed hold of her stomach as she laughed. "Of course he does! Why do you think the form you just saw is so massive? I'm practically half that size….and on fire of course."
"Wait, Malik can look like you….just as a lion….and you can look like him….just as some sort of fire leopard?" Marik puzzled.
"With wings!" she added as she smiled in amusement, then began to explain. "So the appearance Kura and I took is our true Godaeshan form, also called a full shift. Mal's appearance is a part of his Elemental form. I would show you mine, but my magae is a bit all over the place after draining a good portion of it while reviving Atem and then taking in my sire's blood. It's part of the reason I haven't changed back yet. I'm not exactly confident I'll be able to stay in control." She looked to where Bakura had been standing by the pond, noting that he had already reverted and was muttering irritably to himself.
"Kura, what's the matter!? Not fond of being cute and fluffy?" she shouted in a teasing tone.
Bakura kept the red robe his former appearance had been wearing wrapped about him. "I just realized none of the clothes I have stored here are going to fit my new body properly!" he stated in agitation while storming towards his wing of the palace.
"Marik and I were planning on going shopping in Italy, and possibly France tomorrow. You're welcome to tag along."
"Might be a good idea. That way I can get some fitting done. Speaking of, since your plans for bringing back the Royal Asshole got moved up ahead of schedule, I'm going to assume you don't have anything from this era for him."
Kat wrinkled her nose in annoyance. "Ugh….that's right. I guess that means he'll have to come along too," she stated, her whole body showing her irritation at the idea.
"So, concussions for everyone tomorrow?" Bakura teased, referring to the excuse Kat was using for Marik to skip school the next day.
"Well...Atem is most likely going to have some sort of brain damage if he keeps up his shit," she commented while glancing towards the man that kept eyeballing her. She perked an ear in his direction. "Say that to my face you asshole!" she shouted towards him.
Atem stood, more steadily than before, and shouted back in a voice that wasn't nearly as strained. "You heard me! You're an infuriating, ill-tempered wretch!"
The large feline marched across to where he stood, then placed her hands on her hips while glaring down at him. "At least I'm not a self-centered prick."
"I am not self-centered."
"Could have fooled me. I think I liked you better when you couldn't remember anything. Surprisingly you were less of a jerk."
Yugi's face fell as he watched the two continue to bicker back and forth. "I swear, this is worse than when Bakura stayed over," he commented dryly.
The bickering was suddenly interrupted by the extremely audible sound of Atem's gut reminding him that it had been empty for the past five millennia. A blush formed across his cheeks as he turned his head in embarrassment. Kat said nothing as her expression towards Atem suddenly softened. Instead she lifted off from the ground and glided over to the orchard part of the gardens, landing delicately. She plucked a few apples from one of the trees, then glided back over to where the trio of spiky-haired males were standing. She offered one to Atem with an earnest expression, who gingerly took it from her grasp.
He hesitated a moment before eating the red fruit, but devoured it quickly after taking the first bite. It tasted like heaven to his mouth that hadn't tasted anything in millennia. Another apple was offered, which he took with much less hesitation and devoured as well. When a third was offered, he held up a hand in refusal, his stomach having been mildly sated.
"Now who devours them as if they were Ammit?" Kat commented with a hint of laughter in her voice.
Atem composed himself in an attempt to save face, but seeing the softened expression in Kat's feline features reminded him of a time when the two had actually gotten along. He cleared his throat briskly and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Ahem….I…..uh…..thanks."
"You'll have to forgive me for being so unprepared. I didn't really have the time I had hoped to get things ready for you."
"Yes, well….I think we know who to blame for that…." Atem said irritably while glancing towards Imhotep.
"Yeah, that's on me. I failed to warn him what would happen if you entered," Kat said, redirecting the blame towards herself.
Imhotep stared at his mother in shock. "But….I knew about the barrier. I should have realized that-"
"I told you it helped to keep the three God Ka contained. Nothing more," Kat interrupted. She then glared down at Atem with her ears flattened. "You don't get to scold him. Imhotep is impertinent and impatient….but I recall you overlooking those particular traits in someone else at one time," she bitterly reminded him.
Atem appeared taken aback at being called out. He had overlooked those two traits when he had asked Kat to become his Queen. Because of her status as 'Pharaoh's Favored', she had obviously gotten away with pretty much everything, which in turn caused her to be quite impatient when it came to expecting certain results.
Kat began to walk away, leaving Atem to mull over the point she had made.
"Katrina….I…." Atem began, not knowing really what to say next.
Kat glanced casually towards him, then let out an exhausted sigh. "How about food, bath, and maybe a change of clothes. There is still plenty of time for talking….so long as you don't go dying again. As it is I'm certain Yugi is nearly as hungry as you are. It may only be midday here, but it's nearing evening in Domino," she stated.
Atem gave a defeated nod, then began to make his way past Kat towards the palace. He watched as she happily rushed back to Marik's side, placing her forehead to his while purring loudly. She then stood and reached down to take his hand in hers. It looked strange to Atem, but the two didn't appear to mind the differences between them.
Kat stopped just inside the entry to the palace, which she luckily had the foresight to build with high enough entrances and ceilings to accommodate for the elemental's true forms. "Imhotep, I'm certain you've already given a full tour once today, but would you mind showing Marik around as well?" she questioned.
Imhotep groaned, but did as he was asked. "This way," he said while motioning for the Tomb Keeper to follow.
"I'll go with you! I wouldn't mind seeing the library again." Yugi said excitedly while accompanying them. It was his way of trying to help keep peace between his twin and Marik, who Imhotep had an obvious dislike towards.
Marik reluctantly followed, looking back over his shoulder as he left his girlfriend alone with her now revived spouse.
After the three had vanished into the next room, Kat turned and began walking in the opposite direction. "Follow me." she said towards Atem.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"No offense, but you still smell of death. You can use my shower."
"I don't suppose you have a tub I can relax in?"
Kat chuckled. "I do, actually…but I know how long you'll just sit and soak. I promise you can use the hot tub in the pool-house later. Don't worry, I'll stay close by in case you need assistance."
Atem raised a brow in curiosity. "Oh? And here I thought you couldn't stand the sight of me?" he teased with a knowing smirk.
"Get over yourself," she replied. "I can see your body is still acclimating to being alive again. If you prefer I can leave you stranded and shouting for help in the event you end up collapsing. I'm certain Kura would use the opportunity to take some blackmail photos," she grinned while looking back at him.
Atem's face fell at the thought. "I'm suddenly not fond of this era's technology."
Kat laughed in amusement as she led him into her room. Atem was a bit surprised to see that this particular room didn't appear to be as modernized as the rest of the building. It actually looked identical to how theirs had been in ancient times. He looked back into the hall, taking note of its modernized appearance, then back into the room, feeling as though he had entered a portal to the past.
"You appear confused..." Kat stated, noting Atem's odd behavior and puzzled expression.
"Is this….is it all the same? I mean-...I don't understand?" he stammered.
"Well, I know I never showed you before, but I managed to preserve it all. I didn't want your first night back to be somewhere that felt strange and foreign," she explained earnestly.
Atem slowly made his way to the bed, taking in the familiarity of the room. He sat down on the edge, quickly recognizing the familiar feel of the ancient linen that draped across. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
"Everything alright?" Kat asked in concern.
Atem raised his head and removed the crown above his brow and the Pendant from around his neck, setting both beside him. "Even after the way I've treated you over the years, you've still gone out of your way to make things comfortable for me. I still don't even know how we got to this point. When did we become so miserable in each other's presence?"
Kat's ears drooped as she crossed her arms across her chest and looked away. "I think we just grew tired of each other. We've both changed over the millennia. You were forced to live within a host body over and over again, while I was forced to live with my repeated failures. We both handled it differently. You were able to rest in between hosts, your mind closed to all thoughts. I was awake and constantly at war with my never-ending doubt and regret."
Atem stayed silent, uncertain how to respond. He began removing the rest of his gold, stopping for a moment when he went to remove the gold around his ankles.
Kat noticed his hesitation and laughed lightly. "I can't believe you threw a sandal at me."
Atem smirked in amusement. "I can't believe I did either. Now that I think of it, I'm rather surprised that I'm not currently walking the path in Duat," he chuckled.
"There's still plenty of time if that's where you would rather be," she said jokingly.
"No thanks. I think I prefer the shower," he commented with a smile.
Kat walked towards an opening in the side of the room that Atem recalled was originally used as a changing room. He stood and followed, wondering if that was still its purpose, or if she had found a new use for it. He was pleasantly surprised to see it had become a personal bath chamber that housed a good sized tub, along with a custom walk-in shower that stood behind a wall of square, see-through bricks.
"I assume you have learned how to use a shower from your recent host?"
Atem nodded with a smile. "I think I'll manage."
Kat pointed to a towel rack on the wall. "Towels there, shampoo and soap in the insert of the shower wall. I'll be in the room if you need help with anything." She then turned and left.
Atem stripped off the remainder of his apparel, then walked into the shower. He fiddled with the knobs for a few moments until the temperature was where he wanted it, then just stood there with his eyes closed while the warm water ran down his face and body. He felt several muscles instantly relax, the ache in a good portion of his body melting away as they did. He stood like this for far longer than he had intended, but remembered that the reason Kat had refused the use of her tub was because she didn't want him taking forever. He reluctantly moved from the comfort of just standing under the water to wash up, taking less time to do so than he had just standing there doing nothing. He shut off the water, then made his way over to the towel rack, grateful that it held actual fluffy towels instead of the drying linen they had used in ancient times. He placed one around his waist, then used another to dry his hair, which quickly returned to its usual shape. He walked back into the bedroom, looking around for the large feline form.
He thought he saw movement out by the patio that was attached to the room, and cautiously went to inspect it. He knew the patio was semi-enclosed and raised above to give view of the garden, just as the original had, but he also knew that had never stopped a certain Thief King from finding his way up just to purposely vex Atem. As he approached, he heard both Bakura and Kat talking to one another.
"I'll get on it. Shouldn't take too long," Bakura stated just before dropping from the patio enclosure.
"What was that abo-" Atem began, but stopped seeing that Kat had reverted to her human appearance, wearing a gauzy folded linen dress similar to one she had worn during her time as his Queen. It was soft white and folded over her shoulders almost like a shawl, tracing the flow of her body down to her ankles. There was a ring of gold just beneath her breasts, bringing the material in close, and a thin golden belt at her waist. Both served the purpose of showing off her shape.
Kat turned to face him. "It's a surpri-"
She was cut off as Atem quickly grabbed her by the waist and pressed his lips to hers. It had been so long since he could do this. She was here, in his arms, not the arms of a host. He'd forgotten how soft her lips were, and how her body felt when pressed against his. He hoped she wouldn't take offense to his body's reaction as he brought up his hands from her waist, exploring every curve that he sorely missed with one, caressing the skin of her cheek with the other. His heart leapt to the sky when she reciprocated his kiss, causing small tears to fall slowly from the far corners of his eyes as emotion overwhelmed him. He reached around her with both hands, pulling the body he longed for as close as possible, his mouth hungrily overwhelming hers. Millennia. He had waited millennia and now they could be together again. There was no host body to stand in his way. Everything he desired was right here.
To Atem's dismay, Kat began to pull away the moment his affections had intensified. She severed their kiss, and attempted to break free of his grasp. Atem held tight though, afraid that if he let go he would never hold her again.
"Atem, no. I can't...not with you," Kat said quietly, her voice full of sorrow and regret.
Annoyance and irritation flooded through Atem. He closed his eyes as he tried to maintain what little composure he still held over himself. "Why not? You can't use the excuse of me being in a host body anymore. So what is it? Marik? He is not your husband. I am." he stated bitterly.
"It's not that…." she began, "...this...it feels….wrong. Like it's not you."
He opened his eyes and stared hard into hers. "Of course it's me! Who else would I be?!" Atem unknowingly tightened his grip on her arms, causing her to flinch.
"Atem, let go…"
"Not until you tell me why you still refuse me." His tone was bitter as his fingers dug deeper.
"Atem...please….you're hurting me…" Kat raised her voice as a few tears made their way down her face.
"I'll be damned if I let an Ishtar take you from me!" he shouted. "You are mine! You belong to me!" Atem shook the tiny frame before him harshly as he enunciated his possession over her.
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Marik shouted from the doorway. He had been sent there by Bakura, and was glad that he had been. He ran across the room, ready to send Atem to the Afterlife for good.
Atem released his grip on Kat, ready to face off against the one who dared steal his Queen from him.
Kat quickly placed herself between the two, dancing back and forth as the pair tried to make their way past her in their attempts to kill one another.
"Out of my way!" Atem demanded of her, his jaw clenched tight as he glared at the Tomb Keeper.
"Are you stupid!? Couldn't you see that you were hurting her!?" Marik shouted angrily. He still couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.
"What happens between me and my wife is just that! You have no right to interfere! Now be gone!"
"I don't care if she's your wife or not! You have no right to treat anyone like that!"
The two continued to shout angrily towards each other over Kat's head, and the more they did, the more vexed she became. Finally she'd had enough.
"Both of you SHUT UP!" she shouted, her voice loud enough to shake the very room.
Both stopped, looking towards the tiny elemental that was standing with her arms outstretched in a feeble attempt to create space between them. She was shaking and breathing heavily in anger, her jaw hard-set, and her eyes narrowed in agitation.
Atem began to open his mouth to say something, but the sideways glance accompanied by the animalistic growl that erupted from low within Kat's chest made him reconsider.
"Please….go sit….over there." Kat demanded quietly pointing towards the bed, taking a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself.
"But…" Atem began.
In a single blink Kat's eyes had gone from their normal sapphire, to resembling those of Anubis, fiery blue centered in glossy black. "I SAID SIT."
Both Atem and Marik paled, as the voice that came out was anything but feminine. It was dark and deep, almost demonic. Both immediately obeyed, quickly finding a seat on the foot of the bed.
Kat walked over to stand before them, her demonic gaze burrowing deep and making the pair feel extremely uncomfortable. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Kat continued to stand with her eyes closed for nearly a full minute, but to the pair sitting before her, it felt a lot longer. Finally, she re-opened her eyes, their normal sapphire hue surrounded by white having returned.
Kat turned her gaze first towards Marik, speaking in an even but firm tone. "I appreciate you trying to step in, but I don't need you to rescue me. I am more than capable of handling the situation myself, regardless of how it might appear to you."
Marik wore a shocked expression, this being the first time he had upset (or possibly angered?) his girlfriend. He remained silent, nodding slightly that he understood.
Kat then turned her gaze towards Atem, scowling, her tone remaining the same. "Just because I am your wife, it does not mean my body is yours whenever you feel like it. I have every right to say 'No'. I don't belong to you, or anyone else. If you absolutely need a reason for why I still refuse you, take a good look at your actions just now."
Atem sat there in his usual concentrated pose, his eyes closed as she spoke to him. He tightened his jaw and scowled as he looked up towards his wife. "Forgive me for being happy to be able to hold you without a host standing between us. Forgive me for becoming a bit overzealous in my affections after being unable to at all for five-thousand years. Forgive me for being upset that after all this time I find that I still can't be with the woman I've longed for," he said aggressively.
Kat's scowl deepened. "You're excusing your actions? How about I make you see it from another point of view. Put Marik in your place. Imagine he is the one who is happy to see me, that he is the one being overzealous in his affections, that he is the one upset. Imagine he is the one declaring his possession over me. Now tell me how that looks?"
Atem looked away sharply, his breathing quickening in anger. How dare she chastise him for his actions!? He was more than justified! It's not his fault that he had waited five millennia only to have an Ishtar steal her from him! He had taken her from an Ishtar, the irony of one taking her from him was absurd! And how dare she try to have him imagine seeing the Tomb Keeper acting that way towards her!? He didn't have to imagine anything! He would kill the Tomb Keeper on sight if he-...if he...
Realization hit Atem hard, and it showed as his posture relaxed and his head fell slightly. Gods...how could he have been so blind and ignorant to his own behavior? And he had acted this way for...far longer than he cared to admit.
"I'm...sorry. I didn't mean…" he couldn't meet her eyes as he tried to apologize.
Kat released a deep breath then sat between the two males, facing Atem and placing her hand on his cheek, bringing him to face her. "Atem, I still care for you. I just can't find myself being the one you call 'wife' anymore. I would prefer if you went back to calling me 'friend'. Though if you cannot do so, I will understand."
Atem wanted to turn away, but instead he leaned into the warmth on his cheek, reaching up with his own hand to keep it there. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to contain the flood of tears that threatened behind them. He felt hollow with the exception of the immense ache in his heart. It constricted painfully, twisting the emptiness towards his chest and making everything between a mixed range of emotions. He squeezed the hand on his face tightly, but tried to be mindful to not do so too hard. He wanted to hold and be held in return. He wanted to be alone, but stay in the company of the woman that had twisted an imaginary blade into his heart. She had subtly stated that she wanted him to let her go. It was obvious she had already moved on. Could he move on though? Could he sit by and watch her be happy with someone that wasn't him? Why couldn't she be happy with him? Why was it that with him, she was angry, spiteful, and bitter?
Kat didn't pull her hand away as Atem tightened his grasp. She wouldn't show it, but inside, her heart wept seeing her Ibib on the verge of falling apart. He had been one of her closest friends in their youth, and they had ruled Kemet side-by-side for nearly two and a half years. She had spent the past five-thousand years looking forward to this day. She had pictured it differently of course, but she had also realized over the span of the millennia that as friends she and Atem got along great. As a married couple however, they somehow brought out the worst in each other. Kat often wondered if they were really ever meant to be anything more than friends.
"Ibib, you must realize that we are not good for one another. At least not in that way," Kat said quietly.
Atem remained silent, though the use of the old endearment did force a few of the tears he had fought back to spill forth.
Kat could feel the overwhelming discomfort in the room. Atem would not allow himself to break down with the Marik in the room, and she could sense that the Tomb Keeper really wished to be anywhere else at the moment.
"Can you release my hand? Just for a few minutes? I promise to return," she asked Atem, who reluctantly released the appendage. She then stood and led Marik towards the doorway of the room. "Follow this hall down to the left. Mal will know you're coming. Tell him...silver and madder root. He'll know what it means."
Marik looked back into the room at the broken Pharaoh on the bed, then down at the woman beside him. "I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I just saw what he was doing...and I lost it. I'm sorry," he said while lightly stroking her cheek.
"It's okay, I understand. Just know that I can endure any amount of physical pain. It really doesn't bother me anymore. The pain I want you to rescue me from is the kind that I keep hidden deep within."
"I think I can manage that," Marik said with a small smile. He leaned over and placed a light peck on his lover's lips, then made his way down the hall as she had requested.
Kat returned to sit beside Atem, taking his hands in hers. "He's gone. You don't have to hold back anymore."
Atem finally caved, leaning forward into the crook of Kat's shoulder as the dam of tears flooded forth. She removed her hands from his and wrapped them protectively around his trembling shoulders.
Kat sat there holding him, showing no emotion. It wasn't that she had none, but rather that she had become numb to the current emotion she felt. It no longer pained her in the way it once had.
Kat began speaking quietly in the old tongue. "(My Beloved, know that at one time I would scream your name in pain and sorrow and my flames would turn the land around me to cinders and ash. The pain I once felt has been worn away by the sands of time. My element no longer responds to my cries, because like me, it has grown numb. Know that you will always hold a special place in my heart. Even so, it is time we both move forward in life.)"
"(I don't know if I can.)" Atem choked, speaking in Kemetic as well. "(I realize now, that you have suffered for millennia. But my suffering is new. I haven't had the time like you to reflect and dwell on my actions. My years awake are few in comparison to yours. My heart is breaking, and you are asking me to pick up the shattered remnants and move forward. How much time did you spend picking up the pieces? I doubt it was only mere moments.)"
Kat lifted Atem's head from her shoulder, forcing him to look at her. Her face and tone was stern as she spoke to him. "(The first time my heart shattered I had no time to even register that it had been broken. I was still in shock from what had happened. You had died, and I was being dragged away for execution. When I Awakened, I didn't even have time to grieve your loss, as our kingdom had erupted into chaos. Five millennia, and I have done nothing but allow my heart to be broken repeatedly, picking up what few pieces I can while trying to move forward. Reflecting and dwelling has done nothing but send me into fits of madness. The only difference between your suffering and mine, is that I no longer feel the pain. My heart no longer shatters in jagged pieces, it simply falls into piles of dust that I often don't even bother going back for.)"
Atem appeared shocked. He had only heard stories about what happened after his death from Malik and Bakura. Kat herself had never spoken to him about it.
"(Tell me what happened. You've never spoken to me about your...end.)" Atem asked.
Kat looked away, speaking quietly. "(You've heard the stories. Must I repeat it myself?)"
Atem shook his head. "(No. If you don't wish to speak of it, then I will not press.)" His tears had mostly dried up, but his heart still ached. "(My Heart, I don't wish to lose you. I know I cannot change what I have done, but I would like a chance to prove myself still worthy to stand at your side.)"
Kat returned her gaze towards Atem, though it was filled with sorrow. "(Do you remember what happened a little over a full cycle of Khonsu before we died?)"
Atem hung his head in thought. He was certain he knew what Kat was talking about, and vaguely recalled bits and pieces of it.
It had been a stressful day, or maybe it was a week? Recalling the span of time that far back was difficult. Either way, he had been stressed, and his wife had been distant with him. Perhaps she had been stressed as well? He wasn't certain. He just remembered that the two had crawled into bed after a long day of discussing politics with a group of visiting dignitaries. Atem had wanted to unwind, and began by showing his affections towards the woman lying next to him.
"Atem...I'm tired. Maybe some other time."
"That's what you said last night...and the night before…..."
"I was tired then too."
He sighed and rolled over. "Seems you're always 'tired' these days," he grumbled.
He felt her roll over to face him. "I'm sorry. There's just been so many visitors lately, and they all expect so much from us. It's exhausting."
He kept his back turned away for a moment, then rolled back to face her, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on you. I just miss you," he said, stroking her cheek.
She let out a sigh of her own, then lifted herself up on top of him, placing herself in a straddling position. He didn't hesitate to bring her face to his, hungrily taking her mouth with his.
A few days later Kat had become violently ill. The palace physician ordered bed rest, claiming that her illness was due to stress. She hadn't gotten better. Instead she had gotten worse. She could barely handle food, and she wasn't able to take in enough water to combat the toll the illness was taking on her. There was no fever, and the physician had already ruled out the possibility of poisoning. Atem called for several high priests from the local temples to ask the Gods for their aid. Even his court priests had become involved in the daily prayers. His Vizier, Kat's twin, often stayed by her side along with him. Even Bakura, who had become the infamous Thief King, risked being thrown into a cell once he learned of his adopted sibling's condition. Atem had accused him of bringing about the wrath of the Gods from his pillaging of the local temples. By the next day, those same temples reported that their missing items had mysteriously returned.
Day after day as her condition worsened, Atem feared he would lose his beloved wife.
He knelt beside his wife, her hand in his as she lay there barely conscious. He had taken up this position since she had first become sick, leaving only for short periods when her twin was present, to stretch and see to personal needs. On rare occasions, he would even allow Bakura to take up the bedside vigil.
He began each rising of Ra with the same prayer, and repeated it randomly throughout the day until Khonsu showed in the sky and sleep overcame him. "Great Goddess Sekhmet, Mistress of Life, the one who holds the cure to all illness and disease, I beg of you, please spare my beloved Katrina from whatever has taken hold of her. I will gladly pay any price that you ask of me."
One day Set abruptly stood and left. He didn't return for nearly two days. When he did, he forced all the priests out of the room, then walked over and placed a palm on his sister's abdomen and recited some sort of incantation in a language Atem had never heard before. By the end of the day Kat's condition had improved greatly to the point that she was able to take in a small amount of food without becoming ill. As the days progressed, her condition continued to quickly improve. She was able to leave their bedchamber, and could walk to the gardens and back without aid. She still became mildly sick in the morning, but Set stated that it would pass as time went on. Atem never questioned his Vizier about what he had done. He was too grateful, and didn't wish to anger whatever deity Set had invoked in order to end Kat's illness.
"(Yes, I do remember. You had become deathly ill, and I feared you would soon part for the Afterlife.)" Atem stated, his heart aching differently at the memory.
"(Did you know that I heard your prayers to Sekhmet? That even in my weakened state, I prayed to the Gods as well?)" Kat questioned.
Atem appeared surprised. "(You did? If I might ask, what did you pray for?)"
Kat looked at him earnestly. "(I'll tell you, but I would first like to ask a question and hear it's answer.)"
Atem nodded. "(Very well. Ask.)"
"(If you were the one lying there knowing that at any moment you could fall asleep and awaken in Duat, what would you have done?)"
She was playing the reversal again. Atem wasn't certain what he would have done. He didn't have time to pray to the Gods when he had first died. His death had been quick and near instantaneous, and by the time he had awoken and discovered that he was not in Duat, nearly 500 years had passed and he had found himself in the body of his first host.
He closed his eyes and thought. What would he have done? He probably would have prayed, just as she had, but for what? It wouldn't have been for aid in ruling. He had chosen Kat not just because of how he felt towards her, but because he knew she cared for the people in a way that he felt no other could. She was tactful and strategic, and always found a way to get her point across (as she was obviously doing now). She wasn't afraid to say what she thought, and handled any repercussions with calculated skill. No, she would never need the help of another to rule.
She would not need any additional individual protection so long as Malik was around. Atem knew he had chosen well when he had assigned 'The Maahes of Amarna' as Kat's protector. Malik didn't need to be told to follow when Kat had left for Per-Bast, he had simply walked out beside her and ignored the other Ishtari when they called him 'Betrayer'. He had done as his Pharaoh had first commanded, and placed his ka-ib's protection above that of his king.
Atem mentally ran through the list of gods and goddesses, and what each of their purposes were. He could skip over the ones that would offer additional protection to his Queen. He wasn't afraid of his departure spurring a hostile takeover from any neighboring kingdoms. His Queen was strong enough to see to it that their kingdom remained safe, and he knew she would not make any alliance that would jeopardize the welfare of their people.
Isis? She was the protector of women and children. No. He already determined his Queen would not require the aid of the gods for protection.
Nephthys? She knew how to raise the dead. No. If he had passed through natural means, his Queen would most likely have accepted that he had been called to Afterlife to stand beside the Gods. As someone who had attempted to become a priestess of Bast at one point, she would not have defied their will.
Perhaps Bast was the answer? Kat had tried to become one of her priestesses. Maybe he would have prayed that Bast would reconsider his wife's barren state? Atem recalled that was the reason Kat had left Per-Bast. Apparently the head priestess had told her that she had been forsaken by Bast, and that a woman whose body did not produce the blood of fertility had no place in the cat goddess' temple. But what use would it be to ask Bast to reconsider? His Queen would need a consort to conceive. She would most likely have been too heartbroken after his passing to even consider another, though this fact would not have stopped his court priests from making her choose a new partner after a season had passed. Perhaps her infertility would have staved off their insistence? Most likely not. They might have suggested she take a new husband purely for political gain, though he knew Kat would have only done so if she felt it was in the best interest of the people.
Atem tried to picture his Queen beside another, seated next to them only as a political ally. He could picture her misery as she played along to whatever farce was concocted to play off the arrangement. He doubted whatever partner she stood beside would've had interest in a barren woman for anything more than pleasure, and that they most likely would have a harem of fertile women on the side. Once a suitable heir had been born and was of age, their claim would supersede that of his Queen, and her purpose would be forfeit. She most likely would have then been forced to give up her claims to the throne, or chance a mysterious passing where she might not receive the proper rights that allowed her to join Atem in Aaru.
Atem suddenly realized he knew who his Queen had prayed to, and for what. After careful consideration, he realized that he would have done the same. Most likely, Kat hadn't needed to weigh out which god or goddess to offer up prayers to. She had done then what he was having difficulty doing now. If it hadn't been for Atem's sudden death and unintentional entrapment in the Millennium Pendant, which had shattered and became the Millennium Puzzle, Kat wouldn't have spent the past five-thousand years trying to bring him back. She would have tried her best to continue on, despite her shattered heart.
Atem sighed and looked up at his wife. "(I would most likely have prayed to Hathor, as you had. I would have asked that she help you find someone that would love you as I had, and that they would help you to mend the heart that had been broken by my passing. I know you, and I know this is what you prayed for. Unless I am incorrect in my speculations?)"
Kat shook her head and smiled softly at him. "(No, you are correct. And I am glad to hear that you would have done the same. I was ready to move on to the Afterlife. I had accepted then that it would not bother me if you moved on and found another. I had accepted that we might never meet in Aaru, that you might instead find yourself beside another there. It was painful, but I did not want to be the one that held you back in life. I did not want you to be discouraged from finding happiness again because of me.)"
"(And that is what you wish for from me in return, yes? To not hold you back from the happiness you have found with another?)" It was painful to say, but Atem knew that's why she had worded things the way she did.
Kat nodded. "(The parts of me that I thought I had left behind over the millennia, the parts that I had forgotten about because I thought they were no longer there, Marik has helped me to realize that they are not gone...just buried deep beneath everything else. It sounds crazy, but in the short time that I have spent with him, I have already felt things that I once had only felt with you. When I think back to when I last felt these things, I can only picture a past that is so far gone that I find it difficult to remember many of the details. It leaves me both terrified and excited to feel these things again. I am afraid to feel the pain of loss that will eventually come with these emotions, but just feeling anything besides bitterness and anger...I feel alive again. I feel human again. Is it wrong to want that?)"
Atem reluctantly shook his head. "(No, it is not wrong. I wish I could be the one to make you feel that way, but I see now that I cannot. It pains me greatly to give you up, but it is obvious that Marik does care for you. He stands beside you, regardless of your appearance, and he isn't hesitant to try and protect you, even knowing that you have the physical strength to take on the gods. Just know that if the two of you ever part ways, I will be there for you...should you want me to be.)"
Kat's eyes widened and glistened. Atem spotted her smile just before she pulled him into a tight embrace. She pulled back a moment later, her smile still in place. Seeing that smile made letting her go easier. It was the same one that he had fallen in love with. The one he hadn't seen since his days as Pharaoh. For the first time in millennia, he had done something to make her happy again. Atem's heart swelled. Perhaps this wouldn't be as bad as he imagined it to be? He was certain seeing her with Marik would be painful, but if it meant he could see his Katrina smile like that again, he would gladly suffer.
"iu mery-i tchen, Katrina," Atem stated while smiling, bringing his hand up to gently stroke Kat's cheek.
"iu mery-i tchu, Atem," she replied, smiling as well.
Both had stated their love for one another, and both understood that their love in this moment was not towards each other as husband and wife, but between two old friends who had finally been reunited after millennia apart.
To the Atem fangirls, I apologize for what I have dubbed as 'Asshole Atem'. He just woke up, is finally able to remember everything, and is a bit sex deprived and cranky.
I have finally decided that Domino is most definitely in Japan, hence the reference in time difference being that Domino is ahead. The actual time difference between Luxor and Japan is 7 hours. Everyone is going to be getting tired soon. Also, keeping things paced between two vastly different time zones sucks.
I'm sorry if the parentheses drives you batty when Atem and Kat speak in Kemetic. Writing without just didn't give the speaking in an ancient tongue kind of impact that I wanted. I find it also helps differentiate Kat's usual way of speaking from her ancient, more formal, way of speaking.