Nikita hardly focused as she returned to Ryan's office and discussed the upcoming mission. The plan was to fake a heart attack so as not to arouse suspicion, and to give an excuse as to why they patted him down as they looked for the list. Michael and Ryan would run the mission from the latter's office so no one else in Division would know about the blue files or the kill mission. It was bad enough that the Dirty Thirties were still running around. If three hundred agents went rogue, the President would have no choice but to kill them all.
That last sentence finally snapped Nikita out of the thoughts she had been left with since talking to Alex. Of course she was in control. She was going to take out Batouala, save the world yet again, and finally secure a future for herself- a future that had always been denied her, but she was finally going to take. At least she wouldn't be alone as she continued to fight. Michael and Ryan would have her back. And so would Owen. He was traveling with Nikita to Paris. Though, he didn't say anything about the mission, not even a stupid quip. Owen was oddly quiet, concerning Nikita, "Hey. You're quiet. You okay with this?"
"I don't know. But if you're going, I'll be there to watch your back. I just never thought I'd be getting a kill order from you," Owen responded honestly. He didn't know how he felt about following a kill order from the President. But he did know how he felt about following a kill order from Nikita. Although he'd go along to protect her and to keep Division in the President's good graces, he wasn't going to like it. Nikita was better than kill orders and ultimatums. She was all about the third option and saving everyone. That was what she had argued the week before. But all of a sudden she changed. And she knew it.
With Alex and Birkhoff off the mission, and Ryan and Michael on their own to run it, the team needed an additional agent to handle backup. Asking someone from general pop was out of the question. Which left Sean as their only other option. Although he was perfect for the operation, there was his safety to consider. A former politician's son that had been accused of killing the director of the CIA was risky to bring to the event they were infiltrating, even if it was in another country. But they could find a way to hide him. They had to. Otherwise, Nikita and Owen were in the dark and on their own.
Michael didn't have to try hard to convince Sean to go along with the op. He agreed that the CIA undercover list had to be retrieved by any means necessary, and he had some ideas to avoid him possibly being detected. The mission was not a big deal to him. Unlike Alex who had ranted to him before Michael had found him. Based on that rant, Sean had thought the mission was way worse than what it was. But it was all straightforward and necessary, "It's funny, from what Alex said, I kind of expected this mission to involve slaughtering puppies or something."
"She just doesn't think we should be working for the President. Is that gonna be a problem for you?" Michael understood Alex's reservations. Getting involved with the blue files and a mission sanctioned by the President could land Division in more trouble than they were already in; they might not get more freedoms, but less. However, it was a good mission. Countless lives would be saved, and the world could be made a better place. The team couldn't pass on saving people, especially when they could move more silently and invisibly than any government organization. They were doing the right thing, even if it was an order.
"I'll tell you when we get back," Sean quipped. He had had more questionable orders in the Navy if he was being honest. Assassinating Batouala was the right thing to do. They'd save CIA and Division agents, and they'd be ridding the world of an evil, corrupt bastard. It was one of the best missions that Division could do. So why was Alex upset. She had been fully supportive of every Division operation until then. What changed. Well, Sean knew exactly what had changed. That was the problem, "You know, honestly, I'm not sure what's been going on with Alex lately. She's been a lot different since we got her back."
"Different how?" Warily, Michael asked. Although Alex had passed the medical inspections for hidden weapons or mental scarring, that didn't mean that she had escaped completely unscathed. Amanda could've left her mark on Alex and hurt her far more than the team could immediately perceive. Since Sean spent the most time with her, he would be more in tune with anything different or wrong. He could spot if Amanda had truly done something. Hopefully, she hadn't. Yet, she had had Alex for three days. It was a surprise that the bitch hadn't permanently fucked with her.
Sean wasn't entirely sure how he should respond to Michael. He couldn't quite put into words what seemed different about Alex, especially since he mostly noticed it whenever Division was concerned- otherwise, she was fine. And the way she was acting wasn't necessarily bad. It just didn't seem right. She wasn't who she had become. She had reverted to her guarded, stubborn self, "More driven. More forceful with her opinions, less willing to compromise or give in. I mean, honestly, she reminds me of what she was like when I first met her,"
"Yeah, that reminds me of Nikita. Look, Alex was stuck with Amanda for three days. That's bound to put anyone on edge," Michael shrugged. He was certain that with time, Alex would return to herself. No one could blame her for acting rough around the edges; she was simply coping with the trauma of what had happened. Michael had seen Nikita do the same after tough missions- especially after she had been kidnapped by Brandt. It simply took time and rest to bounce back after that much hell.
Though, thinking about how closed off Nikita could be when something was wrong, how she'd push people away to carry the pain all on her own, made Michael want to take back his assurance to Sean. If he had pushed Nikita to open up to him months ago instead of believing her brush off about stress and anxiety, then maybe what had happened during the miscarriage wouldn't have been as terrible. Maybe he could've been there for his wife and held her and cared for her during all that pain and heartbreak.
"But, uh, keep an eye on her. If something seems wrong, tell us," Michael amended softly. Alex's current state could've been in response to what had happened with Amanda. If that was the case, then the team should continue to try and give her space, time, and support. They shouldn't assume that there was something wrong with her just because she was acting differently. On the other hand, Amanda was known to deploy secret weapons. Also, Alex was known to hide how much she was struggling. If Sean noticed something off- truly off, not just weird- then he should say so. The former Seal quickly promised to do just that.
As soon as Sonya noticed that Seymour was alone in his office, she hurried to confront him. She had wanted to talk to him about a lot of things lately, yet he hardly gave her the time of day. He simply holed himself up in his cave or talked to his team in secret meetings. Sonya had quickly grown sick of it. Something was obviously going on with him, but he was keeping her out. It wasn't fair. If he was struggling, then she should be able to help him. Otherwise, she was struggling too, "You don't sleep. You're always working on some secret project. You barely speak to me except to bite my head off if I ask a question. Just tell me what's wrong."
"There's nothing to tell," Birkhoff instantly lied. He felt awful doing so. He wanted to tell Sonya everything. He wanted to get her advice and receive her comfort. He also wanted a shoulder to lean on and an ear to rant to. Yet he refused to drag her into the mess that the team was in. She could not be involved with the blue files for her own safety. Plausible deniability, as awful as it was, was the only thing that could save Sonya from the hell that might come the team's way. Birkhoff would do anything to save her- including the things he hated.
"Nothing at all? Not even why that thing is sitting on your desk?" Sonya screeched, pointing in disdain at the black box sitting on Seymour's desk. What was it even doing there. Why had the team of former rogues kept it instead of destroying it. Only death and destruction came from those damn black boxes. Of all people, the rogues should've known that best. What had happened to them. What were they thinking. And why did they keep the rest of Division out of the loop when their whole mission had been about illuminating the truth.
"Birkhoff, I got your… message," Alex walked into Birkhoff's office, ready to talk about what he had texted her. But as soon as she saw Sonya, she stopped herself. The team had agreed to keep the blue files a secret from the others in Division. They also tried to hide their fighting, disagreements, and anxieties. Just because they were falling apart didn't mean the other agents could too. However, with the team falling apart, Division was beginning to tear at the seams. Everything would come crumbling down if they didn't change things and fix it. Maybe the team should rethink keeping their secrets.
"And what did it say? Since Seymour won't talk, maybe you can?" Sonya turned towards Alex for the answers to all her questions. Unfortunately, the young woman didn't open her mouth. She just glanced cautiously between the two hackers, wondering if she had walked in on a lover's quarrel. Sonya huffed in frustration. She didn't even know why she bothered. She had thought things would change, but it was the exact same Division, "I know you're all hiding something. You and your super friends are either locked behind closed doors or pretending not to fight in the briefing room. Yes, we've noticed."
"Sometimes people think they want the truth, and then they get it and they wish they didn't know," Birkhoff muttered. There were truths about Division he definitely wished he didn't know. He wished he didn't know about the President's contingency to wipe out Division. He wished he didn't know about the blue files. He wished he didn't know that Amanda planned on picking them off one by one. And he wished he didn't know that Ryan had put a killchip in Ari's head. The truth wasn't freeing in any of these situations. It was bitter and harsh and scary and devastating. If Birkhoff could save Sonya from that, then he would.
"We stayed because we were promised there would be no more lies," Sonya harshly reminded Alex and Seymour why three hundred Division agents had stuck around. They had been promised the truth. They had been promised freedoms. They had been promised a life. Yet months later, it was all the same. A group was simply running Division instead of one person. That didn't make the difference the team thought it would've. They still fell into the same secrecy and seclusions. The rest of the agents became pawns for what the team of former rogues wanted. It might've been with good intentions. But it still shouldn't have happened.
Sonya was absolutely right, and Alex could absolutely not deny it. The team wanted to be open and truthful with Division. They wanted to include the agents, not exclude and use them. God, had they failed all of that. They became so distracted by their own drama, they forgot others were struggling as well. That had to change. Alex was going to make it change. She was going to continue the promise that had been made, and she was going to make certain they were all safe and sound. And she was going to start by telling Sonya all she wanted to know, "You're right. You deserve the truth. And the truth is…"
"Everyone is overreacting. Nikita's always saying how we're a family. Families usually don't get along that well," Birkhoff cut Alex off the instant he realized she was about to tell Sonya every God-awful thing that had been occurring. Although what he had said was believable, Sonya didn't appreciate the fact that his answer sounded like a brush off. She stormed out of his office, angrily and silently letting Birkhoff know that he was seriously going to pay for that. He didn't follow after her, however. He should've. Instead, he turned to Alex, bewildered, "What were you gonna do, tell her everything?"
"Aren't you tired of lying? I'm tired of all of it. Nikita just keeps saying that this is her choice. Well, Danforth threatened to wipe out Division. It's not a choice. It's a hostage crisis. It's like Oversight and Clean Sweep all over again. That made me think. If there's one thing I've learned from Oversight, it's that everybody has a weakness. Even the guy holding the gun on you. If we could figure out a way to prove that Danforth isn't trustworthy, Ryan and Nikita would finally have to open their eyes," Alex entrusted Birkhoff with her plan. Since he wasn't on the mission, she knew she could trust him with it. He'd side with her more than the others.
Alex being the one to pace the floor and rant about elaborate plans, the faults of others, and the corruption of some seemed different. However, Birkhoff did agree that Ryan and Nikita needed to get their heads on straight. Amanda, Division, and the President had them so twisted around, they forgot their mission. The rest of the team should help them remember. They should get them back on track and focusing on shutting Division down, "That's a really good idea. I just don't think that some dirty little secret from his past is gonna cut it."
"We need to know what he's up to now. Where he goes. Who he talks to. What he's hiding," Alex agreed. People could grow and change from their past transgressions; sins could be repented for, and one could actively be better. The only way to prove that Danforth couldn't be trusted- he was just as corrupt as Oversight- was to find and expose his current secrets. As a politician and a close advisor to the President, he was bound to have some. All Alex and Birkhoff had to do was flush them out.
"So you're gonna tail him?" Birkhoff wondered. He had thought that the purpose of Alex talking to him about Danforth was that she had wanted him to hack the guy. It'd take some time and some special tricks, but Birkhoff could eventually pull it off. However, based on what she had said, Alex wanted to follow a high ranking and highly classified member of the United States government. Was she insane. Sure, she could pull it off (she had come a long way since her failed attempt to tail Nikita and Birkhoff a year ago). But there was way too much risk involved. What if she got caught by Danforth. What'd happen to Division then.
"We're gonna tail him. After we search his apartment," Despite knowing Birkhoff's lack of field experience, Alex included him in her schemes. She'd need a partner, and with Nikita out of the question and Sean too busy, her next best choice was Birkhoff. She'd need his skills to disable the security measures in Danforth's apartment and to break into Danforth's computer. Alex's best bet for exposing secrets was a hacker who cared just as much about the team as her, and who was as tired as her about lying to the ones they loved.
Honestly, what Alex was proposing sounded a lot like Nikita's plans when she had been rogue. It was full of risk and danger, and all of the consequences weren't completely thought out. Yet Birkhoff had followed along with Nikita's plans regardless. So it was only fair that he followed along with Alex's as well. At least someone had to watch her back, after all. He wasn't the most equipped for that. But he was positive he could learn on the go. He simply needed to know what to bring, "Uh, should I bring a gun? Maybe we need disguises."
"Maybe you should just stay here," Alex shut down any and all of Birkhoff's ideas. She doubted they'd run into any trouble; there was no need for weapons. And in the off chance that there were, she could more than handle it. The hacker should continue to not carry any kind of gun or weapon. He should probably also continue to stay out of the field if he seriously thought they'd need disguises. They weren't in a movie. That wasn't some Mission Impossible type shit. They were only gathering intel. Hopefully, damaging, eye-opening intel.
"Okay, no, no. We don't need- we don't need disguises," Shaking his head, Birkhoff felt ridiculous for even suggesting the idea. Though, in his defense, his experience in the field was severely limited. He was better suited raising hell from behind a computer. Even when he was in the field, he relied on the agents to do most of the work. They were still technically leading the charge with Alex taking point on the recon mission. She should probably have some help with that- better help than just Birkhoff. Maybe they could recruit someone from the Batouala op, like Sean, "Should we tell the others?"
"I think maybe we should wait until we have something a little bit more concrete. Besides, they're gonna be very busy in Paris," Alex shook her head as she bitterly responded. She knew that if she addressed certain people with her plan (Ryan, Nikita, Michael) they'd try to stop her. Sean might follow her; he typically did. But once he saw the risks, he'd try to hold her back and talk her off the ledge. Alex was done listening and holding back. She was ready to shut down Division that day. And if everything went according to her plan, it just might.