Author Notes - WARNINGS again, oh boy. We've got a new member of the family saying very bad things under the excuse of 'science'. Don't take a single thing she says seriously.

Even though I don't really need to, I want to repeat that I am not a trans person. This story should serve as an introduction to the issues discussed and nothing more. If you want to know more or really understand the experience, seek out work by ACTUAL TRANS PEOPLE. I shouldn't need to say this, but apparently I do. So, you know, check out trans creators who can talk about this topic far better than I ever could.

Title shamelessly stolen from an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. This chapter was inspired by another fanfic focusing on a MtF Lynn Loud. More specifically, 'Who You Are' by RottieWrites. It's only about 1k words, so I'd recommend giving it a quick read.

CHAPTER TWELVE - WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?

The family just got bigger. Somehow, even though there was already an unbelievable amount of kids running around this house, there was now another one. A tenth kid. A ninth daughter. By this point, Lincoln had long accepted the fact that he could always be the only brother.

Lisa was her name. Because Lynn Sr and Rita were dedicating themselves to this theme, even if it killed them. At first, it seemed like everything was totally normal. Until she was a month old, and had been told that she couldn't read the books thicker than her arms. Because, surely, they were too big for her. Her response?

'No! I want to read the books!'

A full sentence at only one month old? Her parents were so shocked that Lynn Sr fainted that day, for about an hour. It only got more shocking still, because Lisa began to read those scientific books all on her own. It took her a while, sure, but she was practically teaching herself.

Then Rita noticed how closely she had to peer at the book in order to read it, squinting her eyes and still struggling to read the finer words. After Lisa ended up bumping into a doorway (one of the only times she ever cried), she was taken to the doctor. Lynn could remember her returning home that day, donning a pair of big nerdy glasses. After that, she was reading like a pro.

Because apparently no one in this family was normal. Except for Lincoln. And maybe Lori. Even then, Lincoln was abnormal just for being the only boy, and Lori's desire for utter dominance couldn't be very normal either.

A few months had passed by, and Lynn had never seen a more bizarre growth. Lisa was hitting every mental development milestone months or even a couple years before she was meant to. Physical development was a lot slower, though. As for social development, it was almost non-existent.

'You're a stupidly smart kid, Lisa…'

Lynn watched the almost-one-year-old, who had been sharing Lincoln's room. Lisa was doing what she always seemed to be doing - reading a book that was several years too old for her. A book that was overly scientific and something that even Lori wouldn't begin to understand.

'Lisa.'

Lisa didn't respond to her name at all.

'Lisa!'

Not even when her name was yelled.

'Two plus two equals five.'

'That's four, you imbecile,' Lisa said, drops of spit spraying from her mouth at every 's' (or, rather, 'th') sound.

Lynn rolled her eyes; that was the only proof that her littlest sister wasn't deaf. The only time she ever responded to someone else was to correct them, speaking with a noticeable lisp. And every time she did talk, Lynn needed a window wiper. Lisa wasn't special (in a good way) like Lucy was, or fun like Lana, or even had as much of a presence as Lola. Lisa just kind of sat around reading books. Somehow - as far as Lynn was concerned - she had taken a concept as jaw-droppingly exciting and interesting as 'scientific genius baby' and made it boring.

'How are you so uninteresting, Lisa?' Lynn asked.

She hadn't expected a response. Let alone the response she actually got.

'I did not ask for your opinion, brother.'

Lynn was hardly paying attention to her at that point, but that final word brought her attention right back.

'What the heck did you just say?' She demanded.

'I said, I did not ask for your opinion,' Lisa replied.

'I mean that last word, after that.'

'... Brother.'

That single word shook Lynn to her core. Brother… she hadn't heard the word directed at her in years, not since Lincoln's little tantrum when she was only four years old. Lisa gave her that annoying deadpanned look for a few seconds before returning to her book.

'Uh, hello!' Lynn said, getting up and walking towards her. 'Care to explain why you just called me your brother?'

Lisa did not even look up from the book. 'Because you are my brother. And a clearly dimwitted one at that.'

Lynn was not about to let a literal baby call her a dimwit, but that was the least of her concerns.

'Wow, and I thought you were smart,' Lynn said, crossing her arms. 'Well, maybe you're smart when it comes to science and math and stuff, but not when it comes to, uh, social crud. I'm your sister. See the ponytail?'

Lisa rolled her eyes. 'A ponytail has little to do with your biological sex. I had seen the anatomy that you possess a month ago, when I witnessed you urinating.'

'... You… you remember that? You're really freaking weird. … And I am not a boy!'

'Your anatomy says otherwise.'

'My ana-? My whatever has nothing to do with who I really am! You think you're so smart, don't you? Okay, so you're talking like an adult already, but you think I'm a boy just cos of what I've got in between my legs! Don't you know that it's more than that?'

Lisa scoffed, getting even more spit everywhere. 'I do not wish to entertain your delusions.'

'MY DELUSIONS?! Why you little piece of-!'

'LYNN LOUD JUNIOR!'

This exchange did not end well, as you can predict. Lisa hardly reacted to getting yelled out, but that didn't change the fact that Lynn had yelled at her. Of course, since it was Lisa who instigated the whole thing, she did not get away with it. Her parents gave her a very thorough talking-to about Lynn being a girl no matter what her anatomy tried to say.

It didn't work.

'I can't believe it! He really thinks he's a girl, doesn't he?'

Lynn stomped around her room, while Lucy was in the bathroom practising throwing funerals for goldfish. It was the only way she could work out the frustration and rage boiling through her bloodstream. How could Lisa say something like that? How could she be so smart and yet so stupid at the same time?

'Who cares about annie-me or whatever sciencey stuff she said!' She cried. 'It ain't about whatever's between my legs. It's about what I know is right! Stupid stupid stupid…'

'Please. Stop it. You're embarrassing us girls with your weird way of acting.'

She had just enough awareness to realise that she was yelling about a baby, but it was a baby smart enough to read adult scientific books so she considered it fair game. Whatever books Lisa was reading must've covered only the bare basics on the subject, because the real world was more complicated than 'this body parts means boy'. Lynn had no knowledge on science or anatomy but she knew that Lisa was wrong just from her experience.

'Well… at least those girls are real girls. Unlike you, Pretender.'

She stomped the floor as hard as she could. Had she tried punching the wall, her fist would've gone right through it.

'S-See what I mean?! Girls don't punch people like you do! No matter what you do, you're always gonna be an awful little boy!'

Those nasty thoughts came back to her. All at once. She returned to that window, which she so often retreated to, and looked at her reflection. She was wearing the ponytail. Surely, no one could've confused her for a boy.

'Your anatomy says otherwise.'

But, apparently, it still wasn't good enough. If even her own sister, especially one as smart as Lisa, was convinced that she was a boy…

Then she had to try harder.

That was how, just a couple hours later, Lynn found herself in the twins' room. More specifically, in Lola's side of the room. It was easy to tell which twin slept in which half. One half was muddy and caked in an unpleasant smell. The other half, however, was pink and sparkling and scented with cheap perfume. Lynn looked into Lola's mirror and at the various types of make-up littered around the room.

The twins were currently elsewhere. Where, exactly? Lynn couldn't care less. No one knew she was in the room, and that was for the best. If Lola ever found out that Lynn was playing with her make-up, she'd have a conniption. Which would be funny to watch if it wouldn't end in Lynn's death.

She picked up what she assumed was a little puffy thing made for applying powder, and dabbed it into the powder stuff. For the first time in her life, she wished that she actually paid attention to all those make-up shows and Lori's advice. But it couldn't be that hard, Lynn thought with a scoff. It was powder. What was so hard about that?

When she tried to apply it, however, she pressed it against her face a little too hard and got powder everywhere. The annoying particles tickled her nose, and she had to fight the urge to sneeze. Which was making it harder to concentrate on the actual make-up work. It didn't take her long to give up on fighting, and she ended up sneezing onto the mirror.

'Crap…!' She muttered.

If Lola saw that, she'd be killed. In an attempt to avert her inevitable demise, she wiped at the mirror with the back of her hand. It only seemed to make it worse.

'Oh, she's gonna kill me… she's gonna- Wait, she's a three-year-old. I could kick her-'

'LAAAANAAAAA!'

Lynn's heart skipped a beat. Lola was on her way! She needed an escape. The door was too obvious, and Lola would easily see her leaving the room. The window was a decent idea, but likely to end with broken bones. Without really thinking, she dove into Lola's closet and hid among the pretty dresses and bottles of perfume.

And immediately realised that this was a bad idea.

'NOW I GOTTA FIX THIS UP!' Lola shouted.

The self-proclaimed princess of the household waltzed into the room, unaware of a terrified Lynn watching her from the shadows. Lola apparently didn't notice the spittle on her mirror, because she picked up the powder puff thing and dabbed her face with it.

'Stupid Lana…' She muttered. 'Messing with my make-up.'

Lynn withheld a groan; Lola was going to be here forever! Maybe, if she was lucky, Lana would come in and serve as a good distraction. In the meantime, however, Lynn would resolve to be as quiet as she possibly could be. She - slowly and carefully - inched further into the darkness to ensure that Lola would not be able to see her. Unfortunately for her, she ended up stepping on a bottle of perfume. It sprayed its intense aroma into the air, quickly reminding her why she hated perfume so much to begin with. It irritated her eyes, and always made her want to… uh oh.

Uh oh!

'Ah… ahh… AAACHOOO!'

Lynn went still as a statue, praying to every god that ever existed that Lola somehow didn't hear her. Even though there was no hope. Still, she hung onto whatever hope she had left that she could escape this hell with her life.

'AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!'

Nope. Lola definitely heard her if she was going to scream like that. Lynn's eyes darted around for a possible escape route, only to get seized by the collar and dragged out into the light. Her eyes squinted under the ceiling lamp, and she came face-to-face with the angriest little three-year-old you've ever seen.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET, LY-?!'

Lynn closed her eyes and braced for impact, so terrified that she forgot she was dealing with a toddler. The attack never came, and Lola didn't even finish her threat. When Lynn opened her eyes again, she saw Lola - still red in the face - giving her a confused look.

'Lynn?' She said. 'What are you doing in my closet?'

'I… uh…'

Two more people appeared in the doorway. Lynn could feel her cheeks going red. Yes, just what she needed. More people to see her in this vulnerable state. More specifically, Luna and Luan. Luan looked the same as always, but Luna had recently cut her hair short. She had been going through a lot of changes, in fact, since going to that Mick Swagger concert a month back.

'What's going on in here, bruh?' She asked. 'I thought Lola could be left on her own, but I guess no- Uh, Lynn?'

Lola gave Lynn one more death stare and let her go. Not before giving her shirt another yank, though.

'Lynn was in my closet!' Lola said, reigning in her rage as best as she could. 'Don't know why. I thought she hated dresses!'

Lynn got back to her feet and dusted all that powder off herself. 'I do hate dresses.'

'Well,' Luan said, grinning. 'I think we have to ad-dress the elephant in the room! Ha ha ha! Get it?'

The response was three long pained groans. Lynn looked back at the closet filled with all sorts of dresses. Of course, none of them had a chance of fitting her, but maybe…

'No, but seriously,' Luan said. 'What are you doing, Lynn? What would make you want to hide in Lola's closet?'

'Uh…' Lynn said. 'You see, uh…'

Lynn could not remember a time she had felt this vulnerable. It hadn't been for years. Not since she was first coming out to her family. She didn't even know why, since this shouldn't have been nearly so hard to admit. Perhaps it was because she'd have to reveal that she wasn't as awesome as she'd like to make everyone believe she was.

Luna knelt down in front of her. 'This wouldn't have anything to do with you being a girl, would it?'

This simple question cut out so much of Lynn's work. All she had to do was nod.

'Alright,' Luna said, sitting down. 'Let's have a talk 'bout this.'

'Ooh, I wanna have this talk too!' Luan said, taking a seat next to her. 'This sounds important.'

Lola sighed. 'Fine. Talk in my room. Just don't touch my stuff!'

She returned to her closet to fix up whatever the intruder had messed up. Lynn squeezed her hands together and sat down, keeping her legs close to her chest.

'Am… am I a real girl?' She asked.

Luna and Luan exchanged incredulous expressions, silently working together to figure out if this was a joke and quickly realising it wasn't. When they realised that Lynn had meant this question seriously, they gave her the softest smiles they could manage. Neither were really into 'soft', but it was a decent attempt.

'Of course you are, dude!' Luna said (she could call her 'dude' because she called everyone 'dude'). 'Yeah, your body doesn't quite look like what our bodies look like, but there's nothing wrong with that.'

Luan giggled. 'I thought we all knew that already. Why would you need to ask that?'

Lynn looked at the floor. Lisa's words echoed in her mind. If she was so smart, then maybe…

'Well,' She said. 'Lisa insisted that I was her brother, cos of my annie-me. Or whatever it was.'

Both Luna and Luan groaned in response.

'Don't pay attention to what she says,' Luna said. 'She's smart, but I don't think she knows the first thing about being a nice person. I don't think she tries to be mean, but it's like she doesn't even think about how someone might feel.'

'I guess emotion is the Lisa her concerns!' Luan joked, getting a couple more groans. 'Okay, yeah, but seriously, she's kinda a jerk. I guess that's what ya get when a baby learns how to speak like a college professor before learning how to people.'

Lola groaned so loudly that the entire house probably heard it. 'Lisa is a JERK! She told me that my make-up was ew… irre… whatever she said, it wasn't nice!'

Lynn laughed; it seemed like the entire household didn't like Lisa and her annoying know-it-all attitude. Even Leni got a little impatient with her sometimes. Then, her smile turned into a frown.

'But if she's so smart… what if she's right?' She asked. 'My body's really different from yours. From, maybe, like, every other girl in the school.'

'Okay, that's true,' Luna said. 'But most girls don't spend every moment they're awake spouting the most annoying puns in the world.'

'HEY!' Luan said. 'And most girls also don't play their music so loudly that their roommates can't even hear themselves think!'

'OR,' Lola said, putting some make-up away. 'Track mud through the carpet when they bring home some icky gross pet!'

Lynn laughed again. 'Or spend all day trying to make themselves look like a princess and chucking tantrums every time someone disagrees with them!'

'WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME?!'

Lola gave them all a nasty look, before she went back to sorting out her make-up instead. Which meant that retribution was sure to happen when they all least expected it, but that was a problem they'd address when they got to it. The three of them were too busy laughing.

'But you get the point, dude!' Luna said. 'Girls don't all have to do the same thing. We don't all need the same kinds of bodies either.'

'Just ignore Lisa,' Luan said. 'She's a big meanie. And we make to make-up for lost time here, because… why were you trying to wear make-up? I got a little lost here.'

Lynn rubbed her elbow out of nerves. 'Well, I… I thought that maybe, I could be more of a 'real girl' if I did what real girls did. Like, you know, wearing make-up and dresses and stuff.'

'Oh, good for you,' Lola said, rolling her eyes. 'Like THAT makes it okay!'

Luan and Luna looked at each other and nodded, somehow agreeing on a plan despite not talking about it. Maybe that was a special 'roommate' power. They stood up and helped Lynn to her feet, guiding her over to the window. Lana was in the backyard, like she often was, taking full advantage of yesterday's rain to play around in the mud. And - though it was hard to see from that distance - seemingly eating some of the worms in the dirt.

'Look at Lana,' Luna said. 'She's got a body a lot like ours. That's how the doctor knew she was a girl right away. But look at how she plays in the mud! Not something you'd expect a girl to do, huh?'

Lynn shrugged. 'I kinda expect that in my family.'

'Well, it's not what most people expect a girl to do. But you can't deny that she's a girl, right? She eats worms, but Lisa can't say that she isn't a girl. … Okay, so Lisa would probably argue she's more of a dog. But still.'

Luan nodded. 'And isn't one of the McBrides a guy with a more… girly body? You wouldn't say he isn't a man, would you?'

'Heck no!' Lynn said. 'Mr McBride is an awesome guy. And… and I really am an awesome girl!'

'Maybe it'll take you a while to really believe that you're a 'real' girl, but we know you are one! And everyone else in this house does too! … Except for Lisa, but she's a mean sister.'

Lynn laughed again. It wasn't a simple little laugh either. No, she was outright guffawing. Laughing so hard that she fell over onto the floor and tears trickled down her cheeks. Her laughter was so contagious that Luna and Luan couldn't help joining in. And Lola might have cracked a smile too.

Lisa wasn't nearly as smart as she thought she was.

Author Notes - I feel the need to explain that Lisa is, in fact, my favourite character in the show. It probably wasn't very clear in this chapter, was it? Especially since, unlike Lincoln, her 'redemption arc' won't be for a little while now. Luna and Luan had major roles in this chapter because I realised I had hardly used them before this point, and I want every Loud Sister to have at least one scene where they're the focus.

Once again, please don't take anything Lisa was saying seriously. Trans people are in fact supported by science (and even if they're weren't, her behaviour would still be unacceptable). I just won't be able to address this for a bit. If I find out that anyone is taking dialogue from this story out of context either to make me look transphobic or to further their own transphobic agenda, I will not be happy.