Sean fell asleep waiting for Alex to come home. When it had been made clear that he wouldn't be able to drag her away from Division, he went home and made dinner. He had hoped that she'd be with him soon, relaxing and taking care of herself. But the food eventually turned cold, and exhaustion crept up on Sean. He collapsed on the couch, completely giving up on ever expecting his girlfriend to join him. He didn't know why, but she had slipped away from him. If she had just explained herself, maybe he would've been okay with it. Yet she was distant; she was vague. She was gone.
The sound of the door opening startled Sean awake. He hadn't meant to fall asleep while watching television on the couch. Yet it had become extremely late. It was well past midnight, and Alex was finally home. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Sean attempted to understand why that was. But nothing he could come up with made any sense. Even watching Alex's movements as she entered the apartment didn't make sense. She relocked the door, shed her coat and shoes, and walked straight to the bedroom; she didn't check the fridge for leftovers (there were), nor did she notice him on the couch. She was home, but her head remained elsewhere.
"Where have you been all night?" Sean's voice was heavy with sleep once he finally questioned Alex. She startled at the sound of it. Frantically, she glanced at the couch to see what threat had disturbed her. However, there was no threat. It was only her boyfriend. Whereas she chuckled lightly at her overreaction, he continued to study her. Had she not expected him to be home. Or was she so lost in thought that he had become a complete afterthought to her. He had never thought that the latter would ever be an option. But with everything else that had been going on with her lately, he wouldn't put it past her.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I've just been trying to fix our mistakes," Alex smiled softly, stopping her trek to the bedroom to join Sean at the couch. She didn't sit with him. But she did lean on the arm of the couch and smile brilliantly at him. She was proud of herself. Whatever she had been doing in Division at that hour greatly pleased her. Sean wished he knew what she could've been talking about. He wanted to smile that brightly with her. But he was so lost. And nothing she was saying was making it any better.
"All night?" Sean couldn't picture Alex willingly staying in Division for so long. The only times she had done so was when she had been shot and he had been recruited. She had never stayed behind so long for a mission. And when things became overwhelming, she sought solace at home, not in the walls of the bunker. Alex preferred to not be there when she didn't have to, especially at night. Everyone could agree that Division became terrifying at night- all that death and destruction seemed to leap out in the darkness. So what could've possibly made Alex voluntarily stay so late in a place she always wanted to leave.
"Don't worry. It's gonna be alright. I promise," Alex swore sweetly. She leaned down and stole a kiss from Sean's lips. Then, she continued on her way to the bedroom. Although kisses from his girlfriend were always healing, Sean couldn't simply forget all the swirling thoughts in his head. What was he not supposed to be worrying about. What was going to be alright. What was Alex doing. Staring after her didn't answer any of his questions. All she did was smile back at him and invite him to bed, "Let's just go to sleep."
The couple went to bed together, but Sean did not sleep. Normally, when Alex was so happy and cuddly in her sleep, he was beyond ecstatic to lie with her and hold her close. Except, that night, all he could think about was what she could've done in Division to make herself so happy. If she hadn't been so secretive, or so willing to commit an assassination earlier, then maybe Sean wouldn't have been so worried about it. All his questions and ill-feelings kept him tossing and turning, though. Something was wrong. He couldn't deny it anymore. There was something wrong with Alex.
Michael had told Sean that if he noticed anything else off with Alex then he should tell him immediately. So, when he and Alex arrived in Division that morning, he went to find the man. Alex didn't question where he went; she seemed to have had her own objective in Division as well. Sean would probably have to investigate what that was eventually, especially if it tied to what she had done the night before. But in the meantime, his only focus was on discovering what was wrong with Alex. As soon as he found Michael packing a bag full of surveillance equipment in a storage locker, he blurted out, "Michael, we gotta talk."
"What is it, Sean?" Glancing up from his mission bag, Michael questioned. A part of him feared that Sean had discovered what he was about to do, and he was there to confront him about it. If so, he had a perfectly valid excuse for the methods he was applying and for keeping it a secret. However, one look at Sean's deeply concerned expression, Michael realized that Sean didn't track him down to discuss a recon mission; his sole purpose was to talk about what could've been wrong with Alex, "It's about Alex, isn't it?"
"I tried to just brush it off and not get too paranoid. I mean, she just went through hell and back. Of course she's going to be different. But this is something else. She's… she's too different," Sean paced the storage locker as he attempted to get his thoughts in order. The more time went on, the more he was convinced that more than just Larissa's death and a conversation with Amanda had occurred in South Ossetia. Alex had to have gone through more hell than that to be acting so strangely. Her reactions didn't match up to what she had gone through. It was almost as though she was a different person at times, like she had been replaced.
"What do you mean 'too different'?" Michael asked cautiously. A rant from Nikita while they had been getting ready for bed the night before raised some alarms with Michael about how Alex had been acting lately. However, he wanted to hear the evidence from Sean before he jumped to conclusions. If any of them knew what was really going on with Alex, it'd be her boyfriend. She had stopped talking to her best friend, after all. And even Birkhoff had said that she hadn't said much while they were staking out Danforth. Sean was the only one who'd know anything. He had to start explaining himself, no matter how strange it sounded.
"Well, you saw how she was the other day with Batouala and Danforth. She's also been icing me out and pushing me away to do her own thing. And when I question her about it, she just assures me everything will be okay and that she's taken care of it. But she spends all night taking care of whatever it is, and she acts like it's fine. But it's not fine. I feel like she's slipping away into whatever mission she has in mind, but she won't share the mission. She's just gone," Sean wasn't certain how much sense he made. But the most damning evidence to him that something was wrong was how much she kept him in the dark.
"That really does sound like Nikita," Michael muttered. Sean's earlier description of what Alex had been like since South Ossetia had already seemed similar to how Nikita had acted as a rogue. But Sean's new comments made Michael think about how Nikita had acted when she had gone on her mission to Kosovo alone. She had pushed everyone away, especially her husband, and had put herself in danger because she had believed it was the right thing to do. She had almost been killed fixing a mistake she didn't need to fix. She had been so driven and so focused that the weight of the world she had placed on her shoulders had almost dragged her down.
Alex could not find herself in the same situation. Whatever it was that she was doing or thought she was doing couldn't happen- at least not without Sean or the team by her side. Alex couldn't be alone. Not only because she was bound to get hurt, but also because Sean was right. There was undoubtedly something wrong with Alex. That fact was undeniable after her response to the Nikita situation. What exactly was wrong, though, Michael had no idea. But he was certain Sean could figure it out, "Continue to keep an eye on Alex. Wherever she goes, so do you. Don't leave her alone. And each time you see something off, say something."
"What do you think is going on with her?" The excuse that Alex was still healing from South Ossetia could only go so far. Her being distant and cold could've possibly been a response to the guilt and pain. But going on missions alone, spending all her time in Division, and planning an assassination was too far. Amanda probably did something to her, like she had to Owen when he had been recruited. Except, Alex still had all her memories. Well, most of them anyway. So that couldn't have been it. Unless, of course, there were more horrendous tricks up Amanda's sleeve than Division knew about.
"I honestly don't know. But whatever it is, I don't like the sound of it," Michael shrugged. He wished there was an easy answer to what Alex could've been going through. Maybe it did all have to do with Larissa and Amanda. Alex had passed the exam in Medical when she had returned, after all. There was nothing medically wrong with her. But between Danforth and what Sean had said, that reason seemed less and less likely. Amanda had definitely done more than just capture and talk to Alex. What exactly, was anyone's guess, however.
One thought kept returning to Sean's mind. Over and over again as he thought about what Alex had gone through in South Ossetia, that image consistently returned to his mind. He had refused to shed any light on it in the past. Alex had refuted the idea, and he was going to take her word for it. However, he wasn't so sure if he should trust her word anymore. If she was willing to hide all she had been doing recently, then what else could she have been hiding from him. What other horrors had occurred in South Ossetia, "I think I have an idea."
Michael instantly asked for Sean to share his thoughts. But, once again, it took him a minute to put them in order. Despite everything that was going on, he still didn't want to make any assumptions. He also wasn't certain if what he had seen had any significance or not. Yet he couldn't keep it all to himself any longer. He had to help Alex, which meant that he said everything, "Remember that chair Nikita had pulled Owen from, the one Amanda had him strapped to? I saw that in the hospital Alex was held in."
"She was in that chair?" Urgently, Michael asked. Amanda had changed who Owen was in that chair; she had also tortured Birkhoff to the point that he had almost given up Nikita (which no one could fault him for). Who knew what kind of horrors the bitch could've inflicted on Alex during the days that she had held her captive. It hadn't left any scars. Yet that didn't mean it wasn't atrocious. Amanda had had years to perfect her torture- there was a reason Division had dubbed her 'The Inquisitor'. She could've hurt Alex and the team would've never known, not even the victim.
"She says she wasn't. But, some of her memories of that day don't quite match up," Sean recalled. In the hospital, Alex hadn't been able to find her way around, despite her earlier escape attempt. At the time, Sean had chalked it up to adrenaline and fear. However, she had acted like the hallways were a completely new place. Also, Alex had claimed that she had tried to stop Larissa's bleeding. But there was no blood on her hands. Amanda could've possibly cleaned it off before the trade for Ari. But why would she even bother. And how could she have managed to wipe away every last speck.
"So, what? Alex had her memories messed with?" That would explain why Alex had acted strangely in South Ossetia and why she didn't want to talk about it. However, how she was acting then couldn't have been because Amanda had screwed with her memories like she had with Owen. Owen had been completely changed: name, attitude, everything. Alex was still herself underneath her forcefulness and intensity. She hadn't gone through nearly the same thing. The team was looking at something different. Though, hopefully not worse.
There were two things that Sean wanted to do more than anything: he wanted to torture Amanda and make her tell him what she had done to Alex, and he wanted to finally kill the bitch. Unfortunately, with her still in the wind, there was nothing Sean could do about that. He was trapped in Division, and he was trapped in his uncertainty. He couldn't even guess what could've been done to his girlfriend. He just knew that it was bad, and that was enough to break his heart and make him want to tear Amanda limb from limb, "I have no idea. But that chair can't be a coincidence, right?"
Wherever Amanda was concerned, nothing was a coincidence. If Sean had seen that chair in the hospital where Alex had been held, then something about it had to relate to her capture. Although Michael had no clue what that could've been, he wasn't the only person in Division Sean could talk to. The others on their team would absolutely jump at the chance to help Alex. Sean could direct his questions towards them- specifically, the two who had the most experience with Amanda's torture/mind manipulation chair, "Try to talk to Owen or Birkhoff about it. See what they think. Just don't let Alex know you think something is wrong."
"You think she might lose it?" Sean had already made up his mind not to clue Alex in on what he was talking to Michael about. He didn't want to upset her when all he wanted to do was make sure she was perfectly alright. Though, with how seriously and extremely she had been taking things lately, he doubted that his motives would be made clear. Alex would just go off again about how they believed she was acting differently just because she wasn't being compliant. Except, that wasn't the case at all. Sean honestly wished it was. He'd much rather prefer that than the horror they were actually facing.
"I think that I don't want to risk it," Michael admitted. Alex was already so pissed with how the team had been treating her since they had rescued her. If she discovered that they all believed there was something wrong with her, she might go ballistic. It was best if the team kept her calm until they could figure everything out. The last thing any of them needed was for someone to get hurt. Amanda had managed to cause catastrophic damage with her other surprises. What she had done to Alex couldn't be another one of those events, "We're gonna figure out what's up. And hope no one gets hurt in the process."