Chapter 6

Joy slept little, she was too excited about what had happened the previous day and evening. She felt Buck moving in the bed and never tired of watching him as he slept peacefully. She hugged him tightly and waited for the dawn. When it was time to wake him up, she shook him gently and whispered in his ear: "Buck, it's almost dawn, it's time for you to go if you want to get back before the others wake up"

Buck mumbled something incomprehensible, then slowly opened his beautiful dark eyes and Joy got lost in them.

"Good morning", he said sleepily, "is it time yet?"

"Yes unfortunately"

He kissed her and said: "I had a great time tonight, I haven't slept so peacefully for a long time"

She smiled at him and said: "It's good to see your face next to me in the morning" and kissed him. Buck pulled her to him and they ended up making love again.

"How I wish I didn't have to sneak away"

"I've already been lucky to have had you all to myself until now"

"See you for lunch?"

"All right"

"I have my ride tomorrow and we can't be together, but we can be alone for dinner if you like"

"Absolutely yes, come to dinner here with me"

"Perfect" and kissed her again before getting off the bed. Joy admired him as he dressed and couldn't help but notice his wonderfully muscular body.

When he was ready, he kissed her and said: "Be calm in bed, rest a little longer, I know the way. See you later" and kissed her tenderly.

"See you later" and accompanied him with her eyes as he left the room.

She rolled in the sheets savoring his scent and held tightly to the pillow Buck had slept on. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Buck went back to the station as happy as he hadn't felt since he didn't know when. He understood that Joy was the right woman for him, that she could be trusted and that she was really ready to accept his traditions and his double soul. He sneaked into the bunkhouse trying not to make any noise, slipped under the covers and undressed in bed to avoid making any noise. He dozed off again for half an hour, until he heard the voice of his friends who were waking up and above all that of Kid who shouted: "Rider coming"; Lou was returning from her run and it was his turn to take the next turn.

He got up from the cot and met the inquiring gaze of the boys: "So, we came back late last night, huh?" Jimmy teased.

"Actually yes, we chatted a bit to get to know each other better and we lost track of time", answered Buck evasively and avoiding looking them in the eyes.

"Yes is? I guess…" Jimmy teased him again.

Meanwhile Lou walked in, still unaware of the developments. "I'm starving like a wolf, when is breakfast ready?" she asked.

"I'd go wash up if I were you, there's fresh fresh gossip for breakfast", Cody insinuated.

"What do you mean?" and saw that everyone was looking at Buck.

"Come on, don't leave me hanging", she begged.

Then Buck intervened and said to her: "Me and Joy are together"

Lou rushed to hug him and said: "I'm so happy for you, you'll see that you'll be fine" and Buck nodded.

At breakfast Buck informed Rachel and the others that he would join Joy at lunch and of course he was the butt of jokes from everyone.

Joy had dozed off for a while after Buck's departure and nearly came late to the shop.

"Good morning Mr. Thompkins", she greeted him with a wonderful smile on her face.

"Good morning Joy, I see you are better today"

"Definitely, thank you, and I'm full of energy. Let's do it".

Thompkins smiled and shook his head.

When the lunch break arrived, Buck entered the shop and went to Joy: "Hi, how was your morning?"

"Well, we've had a lot of customers. New books have arrived, I've already chosen a few. Are you interested in seeing them?"

"Yes, thank you" and he had them shown to him. Again he bought something on medicine, and Joy resolved to ask him sooner or later the nature of his interest.

"See you later Mr. Thompkins", Joy greeted him.

"Wait a moment you two, come here"

Buck became tense, looked at Joy who returned his gaze making him understand that she didn't know what he wanted to tell them.

"Look Buck, I know it's none of my business, but I look at Joy almost like a daughter and I don't want to see her suffer. I understand that something is going on between you two. Don't forget, if you do something bad, you'll have to answer to me, okay?"

Buck nodded without daring to utter a word. It was Joy who replied: "Thank you Mr. Thompkins for the affection you show me and I too consider you as a father. Buck and I get on well, we're getting to know each other and we just want to experience our emotions"

"Are you aware of the difficulties you may encounter?"

"Yes, but it's worth it"

"Well, then congratulations and enjoy your time together"

Joy hugged him and thanked him. They went to lunch at the saloon and Joy said to Buck: "It was nice Mr. Thompkins to take an interest in us, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I have to say it left me speechless. At first we didn't get along very well, but little by little we got to know each other and a mutual respect was born."

"I'm happy".

As they ate lunch, they chatted animatedly, and Joy asked Buck about his medicine bag. Buck explained the meaning of what it contained and that he always wore it around his neck as a sign of protection. Joy asked him more questions about his traditions and Buck satisfied all her curiosities. Time passed quickly, Buck took her back to the shop and told her that he would go to pick her up at the exit to go to the station together.

When they arrived, Lou ran to meet them. She wanted to congratulate Joy since she hadn't had the chance yet.

"I'm really happy for you, Joy, you are a beautiful couple and you deserve to be happy"

"Thanks Lou, you are a friend"

Joy helped Rachel set the table, and dinner was just as pleasant as the previous evening. Teaspoon told of his day enlivened by some drunks who had created havoc in the saloon in the afternoon and Joy told of the encounter with a strange lady who had made her take out all the fabrics and then buy nothing.

Rachel and Joy then fixed up the kitchen and when they were done, Joy joined Buck who was reading on his cot a book he had bought at the general store that morning.

She sat next to him, they exchanged a tender kiss and then she asked him: "What are you reading?"

"An Essay on Medicinal Herbs"

"Are you interested in medicine?"

"Yes, at the camp I loved watching the medicine man and how he took care of sick people. I've started reading books and I'd like to learn how to cure people"

"A Noble Purpose"

"More madness than anything else"

"Why?"

"Because I have neither the time nor the means to pursue my studies"

"Never say never Buck" and kissed him again.

Gradually Buck felt less and less awkward with his friends and it was natural for him to exchange cuddles with Joy.

When it was time to go, Rachel said: "See you tomorrow night Joy?"

"Um, actually no, I asked Buck to come to me for dinner as we won't see each other tomorrow noon as he will be out on his run"

"Well done, you do well to carve out some time for yourself. See you the day after tomorrow then"

"Of course, good night"

"Good night", they all said.

Buck accompanied her and once they arrived, she asked him if he wanted to come in.

"Are you really asking me that?"

"Yes why?"

"Because the answer seems more than obvious to me" and kissed her passionately.

When they parted, she said to him: "Well, since you're leaving early tomorrow morning, I thought you didn't want to come back late."

"I'd sacrifice all the hours of sleep to be with you", he said as he hugged her.

Joy opened the door and they entered. As soon as the door closed, Buck pushed her towards the sofa and began to fumble with her blouse. In a moment they were stretched out on the sofa making love. They held each other for a while and then Buck said to her: "You know Joy, I never thought I'd be so comfortable with someone. After Ike died…I never told you about him, did I?"

"No, but Rachel and Lou did and they explained to me your relationship and the suffering that his death caused you. If you want to talk to me about it, I'm listening"

Buck vented to her and came to confide in her feelings and emotions that he had never brought out with anyone. Talking to her was natural, it was as if he shouldn't be afraid of being judged, exactly the opposite of what he had believed when he had met her.

After more than an hour, Buck told her that maybe it was better that he go back to the station, he didn't want someone, seeing him leave her house late at night, to speak ill of her.

"Well, too late Buck Cross, I remind you that yesterday you left at dawn…"

"Yes, but at that hour I trust that even the meddlers are asleep" and they laughed.

"See you tomorrow night for dinner here then?"

"I can't wait"

"Ride safe" and kissed him tenderly.

Buck said good-bye and left.

Joy went up to her bedroom, changed and fell asleep easily: she dreamed of being wrapped up in Buck's arms.

The next morning Buck went on his run and Joy went to the general store. Late in the morning, Mrs. Swanson, one of her neighbours, came in. While showing some hats, she said to Joy: "I noticed that half-Indian courier drove you home last night."

"Yes ma'am, is something wrong?"

"Well, not to mind your business, but it's not good for a young lady to welcome a man into her house without someone's company..."

"You see Mrs. Swanson, Buck and I are aware that there are rules in courtship and… yes, he and I are together, we fell in love. The thing is, neither he nor I have a family, so it's natural that no one is at our meetings. He simply drove me home after we had dinner at the station with our other friends, he came in to have a chat and I'm sure you noticed that he left at a decent time. It is not our fault that we are orphans"

"Oh, I understand, but be careful, you know, gossips..."

"And you know something about it, don't you ma'am?" Joy said somewhat annoyed.

The lady hurriedly bought a hat and left.

"Everything okay?" Thompkins asked her, who saw her a little upset.

"Yes, it's just that Mrs. Swanson can't mind her own business..."

"Joy, it's natural for someone to gossip about your relationship, but if you love each other, don't let that influence you"

"It doesn't seem natural to me, anyway... I'll try to be as cordial as possible...".

Thompson nodded.

Buck returned just before dinner time and was greeted by Noah who was to take his place and Lou who knew he was dying to go to Joy's. She told him: "Buck, leave your horse alone, I'll take care of it, run and wash yourself and go to her"

"Thanks Lou, you are a friend. Say hello to others. See you tonight" and after having kissed her on the cheek, he ran like lightning to wash and change.

Once Joy got back from work, she took a hot bath, got ready and started cooking: she prepared the stew with potatoes and her apple pie, as well as some buns.

When she heard a knock at the door, she took off her apron, fixed her hair and went to open it.

She found Buck smiling, holding a bouquet of wildflowers he had picked in the meadow behind the station before coming to her.

"Good evening! These are for you", he told her.

"Thanks Buck, come, come in" and took him by the hand to let him in. As soon as she closed the door, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

"Wow, if that's welcome every time I get back from a run, I'll ask Teaspoon to make me do more shifts" and they both smiled.

"Come, sit down. How was the ride? Everything OK?" and meanwhile arranged the flowers in a vase.

"Yes, no problem. I only met a group of Indians but when they recognized me, they let me pass without problems, they are peaceful people"

"Well, thank goodness you weren't attacked"

"No, they are not a warlike tribe, I have dealt with them several times with Teaspoon to buy some horses. And how was your day?"

"All well, except Mrs Swanson who came to poke her nose into our business this morning"

"And who is Mrs Swanson?"

"My neighbor. She saw you last night when you took me home and was keen to tell me that it's not right for a single girl to welcome a man into her house. I replied that since we are 2 orphans we can't do otherwise and I gave her well served. We have to be a little careful with her."

"That's why I wanted to do things by the rules"

"So did you repent?"

"Absolutely not and now I could no longer do without you"

"Then I think you'll enjoy dessert...", she said mischievously.

Joy then served dinner and as they were about to start eating, she heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, looking at Buck questioningly.

"I'm Mrs. Swanson, I need a favor"

Joy rolled her eyes and went to open it.

"Good evening Mrs. Swanson, how can I help you?"

"Oh dear, I see you have company. Sorry to bother you but I need some sugar. I'm left without it and I can't help but drink my herbal tea in the evening, otherwise I really can't sleep. Would you be so kind as to lend me some? Tomorrow I'll come to the general store to stock up"

"Of course ma'am, wait here"

Joy went into the kitchen, while the lady approached the table and Buck.

"I'm sorry boy I barged in so suddenly, I hope I didn't interrupt anything"

"My name is Buck ma'am and don't worry, we haven't started dinner yet, you haven't interrupted us at all"

Joy returned with a bag of sugar and gave it to the lady saying: "I would have lent you a sugar bowl but you know, I just arrived and I only have one, sorry"

"Oh don't worry dear, I've disturbed you enough already, and then so I won't have to come back to bring it back to you"

"Already. See you tomorrow then. Good night lady"

"Goodnight to you dear, you are really cute"

"Thank you ma'am" and in the meantime she accompanied her to the door. Once the door closed, Joy said to Buck: "Do you see? She came to check that we weren't doing anything unseemly..."

Buck smiled. Finally they began to eat and in the meantime they told each other a little about their past lives. After all, they knew very little about each other.

Joy was curious if Buck had had that many other women and decided to ask him bluntly: "So pretty boy, how many women have you had in your life?"

Buck blushed and answered. "But what questions are you asking me?"

"Well, if you don't feel like answering, you don't have to", Joy replied a little disappointed.

Buck looked at her and understood: Joy was still very insecure, she was afraid of not being enough for him and he really couldn't understand why. He'd noticed that she hadn't told him she loved him again, perhaps because she'd thought she'd been wrong when she'd first told him. He thought that after all it was his fault because at the beginning he had been so harsh and standoffish with her and he wanted to make up for it, so he said to her: "You're right, we have to tell each other everything if we want to have a solid relationship and I really want it" and he saw her eyes light up at the sound of these words.

"I've only been in love once and it didn't end well: she had come to Sweetwater, where we had the station before, a girl from a good family, the daughter of a banker who had taken over the city bank. I was fascinated by her as soon as I saw her and incredibly she seemed to like me too. We dated a bit but obviously neither his father nor his henchmen agreed. One of them ended up blackmailing her father and hurting him and she chose to stay with him and leave town."

"I'm sorry Buck"

"Deep down I always knew that a woman like this could not be with me"

"And that's why you convinced yourself that you had nothing to offer a woman?"

"Yes, until you changed my mind"

"And did you…yes, you know, you understand….."

"No, you were the first"

"Really?"

Buck nodded and she kissed him.

"Was she the only one?"

"Yes. Actually when I was in the Indian camp I was betrothed to a girl, but we were twelve and I don't think it's worth it."

"And what happened to her?"

"One day, while we men were out hunting, white men attacked our camp, slaughtering women and children. She was saved because she was a white woman raised by Kiowa, but I never heard from her again, she was taken away"

"I'm sorry Buck, now I understand your distrust of love affairs"

"But enough about me. And you? Don't tell me you've never had suitors because I don't believe it"

"Well, actually when I was in Italy I had a boyfriend. He already frequented my house and had met my parents. At first he was kind and considerate, he filled me with compliments and nice words, then little by little our relationship became a habit for him, he took me and my love for granted and it's something I can't stand. He was probably more into starting a family than me, so I dumped him before he proposed. I want a man who shows me his love, who considers me important, who excites me and if all this fails even before the wedding, I'm not there"

"And you never fell in love again?"

"My parents tried several times to get me engaged, but my heart didn't beat for any of the suitors presented to me by them. Then my parents left me, first one and then the other due to a bad epidemic and so I decided to leave, I wanted a different life. Some of my relatives immediately tried to marry me off, but I packed my bags, collected my inheritance, sold my house and came here. And I met you. The first time I saw you at prom my heart skipped a beat. I was intrigued by what Rachel told me about you and little by little I fell in love"

Buck pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly. They continued to tell each other a little about their past life and at the end of dinner Joy got up from the table to clean up. Buck offered to help her and she, after futile protest, let him. When they had finished arranging, Buck took her in his arms and said: "And now I would like my favorite dessert…."

"What, didn't you like my cake?" she asked innocently.

"Absolutely yes, but I prefer another type of dessert..." and he took her in his arms heading upstairs.

They made love tenderly, exploring their bodies and getting to know each other better and better, exploring new pleasures and daring more and more. At the height of pleasure, Buck opened his eyes, looked her straight in her and said: "I love you Joy." Finally he was able to tell her, he wanted to make her understand that he really loved her.

Joy's eyes watered and she replied: "I love you too, Buck, to death" and they lay down next to each other.

"Imagine if Mrs. Swanson came knocking now", Buck told her, laughing.

"Oh my God, don't even say that as a joke" and they both laughed.

Buck gave a few yawns and Joy realized he must be very tired. She wanted him to stay longer but she knew she had to let him rest.

"I think you'd better go honey", it was the first time she called him that, "you're very tired. See you tomorrow for lunch?"

"Do you want to get rid of me yet?"

"No silly, if it were up to me I would never let you go, but you've had a rough day and you better get some rest. We have plenty of time to be together"

Buck kissed her and dressed again. Joy did the same and led him downstairs. She followed him up the driveway and gave him a kiss. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mrs. Swanson leaning out the window and shook her head. She said goodbye to Buck without saying anything and when she was about to go back into the house, she couldn't resist: she turned towards the neighbor's window and greeted her. Immediately she disappeared behind the curtain of the window from which she had been spying on them. Joy smiled for that little revenge and went to sleep happy: finally Buck had opened up completely with her and told her that he loved her: she couldn't wish for anything more.