A/N Thank you so much everyone. This chapter we're going to answer a lot of questions about Beth.
Enjoy!
Trigger warning, suicide discussion
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Daryl practically wears a hole in the kitchen floor, pacing back and forth as Carol tells him everything. His fists clench and un-clench as he bites furiously at his lower lip. Although he keeps his voice low, his angry snarl sends a chill down Carol's spine, "Those bastards, I should beat their asses in the ground."
She doesn't disagree with him, she'd like to see that, but she feels the need to be the voice of reason, "If you ask me, Daryl, they've all got it coming, but I think maybe Beth deserves to know what's going on before you do anything."
He's still pacing and his brain feels like it might explode. He takes in a deep breath to try and tamp down his anger, but it doesn't help. Shit, the last thing he wants to do is tell Beth about this bullshit, but Carol's right, she needs to know. "Yeah, yeah, I need ta talk to her. Do you have her phone number?"
Carol answers, "No, Beth doesn't have a phone, and besides Daryl, this probably isn't something a person should talk about on the telephone. Don't you think face to face would be better?"
She can see his discomfort and frustration escalate, "Yeah, you're right, but I can't leave Teddy and I damn sure ain't takin' him with me ta talk to her about this kind a shit."
Carol nods in agreement, "How about we do it this way, you go visit Beth and get all this nasty business figured out, and I'll stay here with Teddy. I'll give him a nice cool bath, that should help get his fever down, and by the time you get back he'll be all tucked in bed and sleeping like a bug in a rug."
"I appreciate it Carol, but that's too much to ask."
"Daryl, you've got a television set. As soon as I saw that I knew I wasn't leaving here until all the programming goes off the air for the night, so you might as well leave." She reaches in her small handbag and hands him a key, "You'll need this to get in the downstairs entry door."
He's chewing at the side of his thumb as he nods, "Okay, if you're sure ya don't mind watchin' Teddy."
Carol's all smiles, " Teddy and I are going to have a great time together. Now go on."
He's still chewing his bottom lip, "A'ight, I'll try not ta be too long." He looks down, shaking his head as he mumbles, "Shit, she'll probably throw me out as soon as I tell her."
Carol pats his arm and assures, "I don't think there's any chance of that Daryl." Then asks, "Do you know if 'I love Lucy' is on tonight? I watched it at a friend's house a while back and that Lucy is a laugh a minute."
He shrugs, "Sorry, I got no idea."
He keeps a fast pace on his way to Beth's, even though he dreads looking in those pretty blue eyes and letting her know what people are saying about her and him. If there were any other choice he wouldn't. No matter how angry she might get hearing it from him, it will still be better than if she were to overhear folks talking, or worse, if some asshole flat out asked her.
She's so stunned seeing him at her door, all she can do is stand and stare. Daryl's the one who speaks first, "Hey, um, yeah, can I come in an talk for a minute?"
Her hand lays open on her chest as she realizes, "Oh my gosh, um, I'm in my pajamas."
He can't help it, her embarrassment makes it tough for him not to smile. There's nothing remotely revealing about what she's wearing. Her waitress uniform shows more skin than her bathrobe, "Well they ain't, what you're wearin' ain't exactly…well ya look real cute," now he's the one who's embarrassed, "shit, so can I come in?"
She swings the door open, "I'm sorry, yes, yes of course."
He enters and doesn't make a secret that he's scanning the small apartment, checking out the place where she lives, "This is nice, so ya like it here?"
"I like it a lot actually. It's perfect for me," then she remembers her manners, "Can I get you a beverage? Maybe some water or tea, or wait, I even have some coke." What is wrong with her, she's a nervous wreck.
He shrugs, "I'll have whatever you're havin'. Thanks Beth."
"Okay, then let's make it something fun, I'll pour us a coke."
He holds back a laugh, yeah, a bottle of coke is probably about as wild as it gets around here. He wishes he'd have thought to bring a pint with him. A snort of whiskey might help the news go down.
He watches her hands shake as she takes the cold metal ice tray from the refrigerator's tiny freezer compartment, then struggles to pull the lever. He reaches for it, and taking it from her says, "Here, lemme. These things are knuckle busters." Beth watches him crack the ice with ease, he's so strong and manly.
She apologizes, "I'm sorry there's no sofa," then points to the only cushy chair in the room and suggests, "why don't you take that chair, I'll sit at the table."
He shakes his head 'no' and replies, "I don't think so. How bout we both just sit at the table. We can stare out the window together."
She's so nervous he's here, and she's wondering why in the world he's here, and she's glad he's here. "All right."
He's as nervous as she is, he's just a little better at hiding it. They sit and he lifts his glass to her, "Cheers."
She lifts her glass in turn and smiles, "Cheers."
There's an awkward silence and this time it's Beth who fills it, "I guess Carol took you and Teddy some dinner tonight?"
"Yeah, that was real nice of her. I didn't expect it, and it was good," he smiles across at her adding, "and Teddy ate all his pie. Thanks for that."
She pinks up a little, "Oh good, how is Teddy? Is he feeling better?"
"Yeah, I think the pie darn near cured him," he softly laughs and tells her, "he's gonna get a bath n him n Carol are watchin' a little television together."
"Oh my gosh, you have a television set Daryl? How nice."
They were so close earlier today, it felt so intimate and warm, and he looks so handsome now. She doesn't fight the urge to slide her hand over and begin reaching for his. His mind is somewhere else though, he's got things he's got to tell her and this small talk is only prolonging the agony. Without thinking he abruptly pulls his hand away. She misunderstands the gesture, assuming he's rejected her as she whispers under her breath, "I'm sorry."
He catches on, shit, "Hey, no, wait. It ain't that, I didn't…" but he's too late, he sees the sadness in her eyes and he knows he brought that on. Shit, she's so sensitive, he's got to be more careful, "Hey, no…" he stands and walks around to her side of the table, holds out a hand to her and says, "C'mere, please Beth. I'm the one who's sorry."
Beth takes his hand as he helps her to her feet. He looks in her eyes, and fuck, how's he going to say what needs to be said? That question has his arms enveloping her as he draws her close and tries to explain, "What happened today at the garage, I didn't mean it…"
She's been enjoying the brief intimate moment, snuggled close to his chest and so caught up in the warmth and the manly feel of him. She misunderstands again, she thinks he's about to tell her the kiss they shared didn't mean the same thing to him that it did to her. She pulls away, "I'm sorry. I'm just making everything worse. I…well…never mind Daryl, it's okay. I understand. You're not interested. It was just…whatever that was that happened today, it was my fault, and I'm sorry."
He leans back, a puzzled look on his face as he rests his hands on her shoulders and questions, "You're kiddin', right? Ya think that's all that was ta me? A mistake?" It's hard and he struggles, but he's not going to let her think he doesn't care, "It meant plenty, and I liked it, and I like you Beth, but that ain't what any a this is about."
She's so confused all she can say is, "Oh."
He's agitated, "Yeah, oh is right, oh shit. Girl, we gotta talk." His impulse is to hold her close again, and that's just what he does when he whispers, "I got some stuff ta tell ya and I'm afraid it's gonna hurt."
She's half-angry with him now, "I don't get this back and forth, why don't you just say you're not interested in me? Let's leave it at that, okay?"
Now he's the one who's pissed, didn't he just tell her he cares? "Will you get off that shit Beth, that ain't what this is about. This is about what other folks are sayin', and right now they're sayin' plenty about us."
She looks puzzled now, "What? About us? What do you mean Daryl? What could people possibly have to say about you and me?"
He can barely bring himself to look at her, in fact as he talks he continuously casts his eyes down and chews at his lip. His discomfort is palpable as his words come out in a rush, "It all started with Spencer when he came ta the shop, after you left he said a couple things ta me. Nasty things about what you n me must have been doin' just before he got there. I guess he took that talk ta town next, and he spread it around at the hardware store and who knows where else. I'd bet money Andrea had a big hand in spreadin' gossip too. The stories and the bullshit all ended up at the Solo and Carol overheard the talk. Jim got mad about what they were sayin' and he took up for you. The real reason Carol brought dinner to my house was ta give me the word. Now I'm here, tellin' you."
He releases a heavy sigh, glad to have gotten a start on the story, but Beth is still not exactly sure what the talk is. He didn't really say what they're saying, "Please Daryl, tell me what you're talking about? What are they saying?"
He blurts out the words before he quite gets a handle on smoothing things over a little, "Folks are saying…it's that everyone's talkin'…that you n me are…well that we're sleepin' together, ya know."
Her eyes go wide, her hand covers her mouth, and it's like she can't even stay upright. She slumps into the chair, "What? What did they say Daryl? Just tell me. Please."
There's nothing he wants less than to tell her the things people said, but she has a right to know and so he tells her what Spencer said, and he tells her what Carol overheard at the cafe.
She seems small, defeated, and the look on her face shows the hurt. She doesn't have to wonder what to do next, she makes a statement, "I have to leave here then. I can't stay in Smithton with people talking about me like that. I can't, oh my gosh, I can't have people thinking that of me." Her whole body shudders and he watches a tear fall when she adds, "I can't go home either, they're still talking about me there."
He grabs the back of his chair and scoots it over closer to her, clasping her hands in his he asks, "Why? What? What are they sayin' about ya there Beth? What the hell happened to make you so sad?" He releases his grip enough to touch the visible tip of the scar with his forefinger and ask, "Does it have sumthin' ta do with this?"
The tears come a little harder, her slim shoulders shiver, and her soft voice cracks when she tells him, "It lead to that happening, it's just one more stupid thing I did. I just, I ruined everything Daryl…"
He's afraid to know, yet he needs to know because she already means so much to him, "Tell me. Tell me what happened Beth."
"It's, I don't know Daryl. I don't want to tell you. You're going to think I'm so stupid."
"Nah, I ain't ever gonna think that, and who knows, maybe I can help."
"I can't imagine how you could."
"Well try me."
There are too many things going on here tonight, and too many thoughts in her head. She's got to try and concentrate. She breathes deeply, nodding as she gathers her thoughts. Daryl's quiet as he waits, gently caressing her hands. She's already decided she won't be able to stay here in Smithton knowing people are talking about her in such a crude manner. She thought they liked her, but it seems several of them have a low opinion of her.
Maybe it's best if she just tells him what she did, how stupid she was and that she's leaving. Yes, end this torture. Maybe she can move in with her aunt near Atlanta for a while. That would be good. She has a little money saved so she could pay her way, she wouldn't be a burden. It shouldn't be too hard to find a waitress job in a big city like Atlanta, and the best part will be, no one knows her there.
The trouble is, the thought of leaving here hurts. She doesn't want to leave her job, she doesn't want to leave her new friends, and most of all she doesn't want to leave him and Teddy. Although, when she tells him what happened, she's sure that will be the end anyway.
He still has a comforting hold on her hand when he smiles that small boyish grin and encourages, "I done some terrible shit in my life Beth, and I done some dumb shit too. Plenty of that. Then, a course, I did some really dumb shit that was also terrible. So, I don't think you're gonna to be able ta shock me too bad, but go ahead, give it a try."
She softly smiles, "Thank you Daryl," sighs deeply and begins, "It was harvest season and there was just me, Mama and Daddy still living on the farm. My brother and sister had both moved away. We had a hired man and his wife, Otis and Patricia, they helped with the farm work, and we had a younger man, Randall, who helped with the stock and the upkeep, you know, fence mending and irrigation lines. There's always too much work on a farm."
"The orchards and the fields were bursting with fruits, vegetables, and grains. It was an incredible sight and so good to see after the past couple of years we'd had. They were hard and we needed some good crops. Daddy said he'd never seen so many peaches. I know it's probably hard for someone who's not a farmer to understand how excited we were just looking at the orchard."
He shrugs, "No, I think get it. Ya worked hard and it paid off."
She smiles, "Yes, that's it," and then her smile quickly fades as darkness masks her face. She so serious and her voice is so shaky, "There was a broker who bid on the whole peach crop and the plums, he wasn't interested in the corn, or any of the fall crops, or the stock, but that was okay with Daddy. He had other buyers for those and the broker was offering an excellent price for the fruit. They made a deal."
"We thanked God and we celebrated with ice cream sundaes that night," she smiles at the memory and Daryl smiles too. Shit, could these people be any better or any more wholesome? Ice cream celebrations.
"Daddy owed the bank some money, during those lean years he'd had to borrow for an equipment repair and to fix the roof on the barn. He planned to pay that off with the money from the peaches. He also said me and Mama both deserved a new dress and a new coat. I can see and hear him now, 'I don't mean for you to make those dresses Annette. I want you ladies to go out and buy something for yourselves'."
Beth's smiling but it's the saddest smile Daryl's ever seen. "Mama said, 'Hershel, we don't need to spend good money on such things,' but Daddy insisted, 'I want to do that for my girls, it means something to me.' That was that, Daddy had spoken."
Her stomach aches and her throat feels dry. She takes a sip of her coke and he can see she's struggling. His hand rests on her knee, "Go on, Beth."
"The next morning the trucks were there for the crops we'd harvested and the broker handed Daddy a thick envelope of cash. It's not uncommon in these kinds of transactions to pay in cash, and Daddy wanted to get the money right to the bank where it would be safe," she pauses and the tears roll down her cheeks and Daryl's pretty sure he knows what happened. Somehow Beth lost the money.
She sniffles, "Daddy told me to take the car to town and deposit the money at the bank. I was supposed to tell the banker Daddy would be coming the next day to pay off the note. Of course, I was happy to help Daddy, but I was selfish too. I was excited to get off the farm for an hour or so, there had been nothing but non-stop work for weeks."
He nods, "I get it, ya needed a break."
"Yes, so anyway, I put the envelop in my handbag, and set it on the seat next to me. I was just turning the ignition on when Randall, the hired man, hurried over. He leaned in the window on the passenger side and said he'd really like to get to town for a minute. He said he needed some tobacco, and since I was coming right back could he just ride in with me. Of course, I said yes."
"We were driving down the highway, just making small talk about the work and the bumper crop and all, when I spotted a young girl I know named Enid walking down the highway all alone. I knew her family was having some troubles and I was a little worried about her. I said to Randall, 'I'm going to pull over up here and speak to Enid for a minute, maybe she needs a ride."
Daryl already knows the rest of the story, it's pretty easy to figure out, but he keeps his mouth shut and lets her tell it, "As soon as I got out of the car and over by Enid, the car sped away. Randall had my purse, Daddy's money, everything. Enid and I ran down the highway after him as fast as we could go, but of course, we couldn't even see him anymore."
The memory triggers more tears, and Daryl gets to his feet and pulls her in close as he whispers, "Don't cry, please, it's done. It's over." But he knows it's not really over because shit, did she really try and hurt herself over some stolen cash?
"Enid and I walked to town and went right to the sheriff's office. I told him everything that happened and he called my Daddy, and Daddy came to town to get me and Enid. A day later the sheriff found our car in a ditch off the road, a few miles east of town. It had some scratches but nothing too terrible. My purse was there too. Randall had spilled everything out of it and took the envelop, of course, even a two-dollar bill I'd earned doing some cleaning work at the grocery."
"How much money did he get Beth?"
"It was over $2000.00."
Shit, that's a pile of money. He's chewing at his lip, thinking this over, then asks, "Ya know this ain't your fault, right? The guy was an asshole. You trusted him cuz ya have a sweet nature and ya ain't inclined ta see the bad in people."
Daryl's afraid to know what her Daddy did, he knows what his own Dad would have done, and he wouldn't have lived to tell anyone about it. "So, what happened at home?"
"I completely broke down, but Mama and Daddy both said it wasn't my fault, that I'm just a good person and Randall was a bad man. Daddy told me not to worry, that we still had crops in the field and we'd get by, but I knew. I saw the worry in his eyes. We were flat broke and Daddy owed the bank. I knew it was all my fault. I was so stupid."
"Stop sayin' that about yourself. Ya got took by an asshole, your Daddy knew that. You ain't the first innocent person ta get taken." He reaches for her hand again, looks at her wrist and asks, "What about this?"
She draws in a deep, ragged breath and begins to tell him, "I, I was so sad and I hated myself so much. I knew Daddy was struggling to keep the farm from going bankrupt. They were worried about me too, they made me talk to the preacher, they thought he could help me forgive myself. I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep, and one day I went in the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and said, 'Beth, the world would be a better place without you,' I broke the mirror, I cut my wrist, it made me scream, and Mama came running."
Daryl's so shook by the thought of what she did, and how it could have ended, he has to hold her again. He clutches her tightly to his chest and promises, "It's never that bad, never."
She sighs, "Well anyway, all I did was hurt Mama and Daddy even more, and I caused them more worry. I've been a burden to them Daryl, I know that. And, that is how I got to be the talk of the town so, when Olivia came to the farm and asked me to take her job, I agreed."
Daryl sucks his lip in, nods and says, "I'm glad ya did. So lemme get this straight, you think cuz a that stuff I wouldn't like ya no more?"
She shrugs, "Well, yes."
"Pfft, I like ya even better. It shows me who ya are, you're about the sweetest thing goin'." He wants to fix this for her but he's not sure quite how to do that. He asks, "Is there anythin' that could happen that would make you feel better about this stuff? Like maybe help put it in the past?"
She doesn't have to think about an answer, "Yes, if I could just pay Daddy back the money. That's what I want to do. I'm saving as much of my pay and tips as I can, but it's going to take me years."
He nods, "That'd be good wouldn't it?" Then he starts firing questions, "And tell me about this Randall fella, what's his last name? How old is he? Do ya know where's he from?"
"Why do you want to know all those things Daryl?"
"I'd just like to know, shit, what if I was ta run into him someday. Stranger things have happened." She looks at him suspiciously, but tells him what he wants to know.
He holds her as she softly cries, then tells her, "I don't want you to go. You n me, we can beat this stuff Beth, the talk and the bullshit. You'll see, there ain't nobody around here that's gonna have a bad thing ta say about you. Ever."
She wants so badly to believe him.
He gets home and Jim's there with Carol. The cook quickly gets to his feet and apologizes, "Hey Daryl, sorry, I just wanted to visit with Carol a minute."
Daryl smiles, "Nah, it's fine. I'm glad Carol had some company."
"Okay, well me n her are gonna get on back now, we'll see ya in the mornin'."
Daryl digs in his pocket, "Yeah, okay, here," and reaches out his hand to return the key.
Jim shakes his head no, "You keep it. I got one, and I got a spare I can give Carol. You have a nice night now, and thanks Daryl."
"Why ya thankin' me? I owe you guys. Thanks for everything, really, and Jim, thanks for standing up for Beth."
Jim nods, "Always."
Daryl waits until they've been gone about five minutes before walking to the phone nook in the hall. He picks up the receiver, dials the number and three rings later a rough and grouchy voice barks, "Yeah?"
Daryl responds, "Yeah Merle, it's me."
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A/N Oh my. Well now we know what happened to Beth, and she knows what folks are talking about. Please leave a comment. There's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, I hope you'll check it out. I'll still be in the wilds of Alaska next week, but I'll figure out how to get a chapter posted for you next Thursday. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee