Chapter 6" Forging your own path"
Part 1 Shinji
His hands were shaking. He was watching his ID card for way to long. Despite the simple task that he needs to make Shinji body didn't respond as it should. Because he his mind is still on that night. He can't comprehend the things he heard.
"If you want my opinion you should give up your hopes, You should consider your self lucky to have come out alive." Those words were repeating in Shinji's head. The fact that he is only one who survived from that world makes him dread.
At of all the people in the world why he should be the one get a second chance. Why not Misato? or Rei ? or Toji or every other human being expect from him. But at of all the people only she deserved the most to get a second chance. Her life was as miserable as his but at least she found a way to be charming and enthusiastic and in the end she confronted her inner demons unlike him who were always running from them. In all his previous life he was a coward and a spineless idiot but she was an actual fighter. He didn't deserve what he got. He should have been left on that to rot like a corpse.
As Shinji was thinking about his position he a familiar voice.
"Do you need help?"
Shinji turned to the voice and saw the same figure he saw last night.
"You were standing here for 3 minutes. Do you have a problem with your ID card?"
"Oh, I am sorry I was just overthinking things."
"Is this about yesterday?" Said Rei coldly.
"You can say that." Answered Shinji back.
"You know I can just tell about your true identity to your father and doctor Agaki."
"Then why don't you tell them then, I have nothing lose after all."
"This isn't completely true you still have her on your mind."
"That's might be the case but she that she probably gone so I better get over this world quickly."
"She might be right but that doesn't mean she is completely right."
He looked her with a bit of hope on his face but he soon
"I shouldn't believe in miracles it's better to just accept the cold truth."
"If that's your wish."
Rei went to cross her ID card to the machine but for the reason it didn't read it. She tried again but the result was the same.
"Oh, about that here is your new ID card, Misato told me this morning to gave to you." Said Shinji as he gave her card.
She took it from his hand quickly and cross it to the machine. The machine read it this time and her path was now opened. Shinji also followed her.
Today they had a sync training and they both going to the same route. They were silent during the ride in the stairs, but Shinji broke the silence.
"Tell how did she do that?"
"She managed to connect her consciousness to my through the connection we two have from our nature."
"That's the first time I have seen such a thing."
"This is first time as well probably it has to do with your arrival. Things will probably be much worse this time."
"Your positivity thrilled me sometimes."
Rei simply ignored the last comment and just added.
"You really are a selfish person Shinji Ikari."
People had said him that a lot. Selfishness was one of the main thing he usually expressed on other people.
After that conversation they continued their ride silently until they arrived at the destination.
They both got to their change rooms and put on to their suits.
Misato and Ritsuko were waiting them to do the training.
"Okay now that you are here let's start the sync training to see if Rei is able to pilot and to see if Shinji manage to score a new record to his sync." Said Misato enthusiastic.
"Just get in the entry pod." Ritsuko added.
The training wasn't really hard but Shinji mind was focused on other things, thus making him fall a bit in sync.
"Shinji your sync is lowering every minute try to relax and focus to the training." Said Misato over the vox but Shinji didn't care that much of what she said.
When the sync training ended, Misato and Ritsuko called them up.
"Rei your sync level was better than before but still low regardless at 43%. Shinji I have bad news for you your sync level dropped to 45% almost the same as Rei."
" Rei you free for now, we will talk letter about the repairs I did to 00. Misato can leave me with Shinji alone? I have some things to discuss." Said Ritsuko to Misato.
"What? I am supposed to say that, I am his guardian after all." Retorted Misato back
"This phycological stuff will talk about, not
your drunk talk you usually say."
"Ahh, fine." But when she was about to exit the room she wispered to Shinji. "Just take things easy for the next days Shinji."
"I will try .If I can." Said Shinji back to her.
"Okay now that we are the two of us let's talk."
"What do want to talk with me doc?"
"The same thing I asked you last time, your nightmares."
"I am fine if you are curious."
" This sync training proves otherwise and by the looks of your face and the way your acting you didn't have the best sleep and you have something bothering your mind. Please tell me what's been happening on that head of yours."
The fact that this woman tries to play nice on him and acting like caring about his condition really angered Shinji to the bones.
"Why should I tell you ?At end of the day you don't really care about me, you only care my status as a pilot." Said Shinji angrily to the woman.
"Listen here kid as much as you are a little brad try to play the adult, your existence still carries the entire human kind on your solders and I don't want the entire humanity to rely on whatever or not you had a bad dream for sleep. So be kind and open to someone else than your little self.
That's was something big coming from the same woman who didn't hesitate to help to the plans of the man who can call father. It only made her more of hypocrite than she already was.
Shinji wanted to as much as he could but the faster he is finished with Ritsuko the less things he will have to worry.
"Okay then, I will tell about my dreams." But before he could say something he heard the sound of the alarms.
Both of them run to main control room to see the cause of the noise.
"What is going on?" Said Ritsuko
"Our machines detect a flying object coming to this way, the Magi said it is pattern blue." Said Maya while working with the computer.
"Okay then prepare the Magi for further details about the nature of this angel and Shinji go to cages we will need you soon."
He didn't need to see the pictures to make sure the angel which he will fight, he just need to prepare for what it's to come and simply said :"Yes doctor." and leave.
Seeing his old friend Ramiel once again didn't bring Shinji joy. He had already gone through a lot of possibilities to his head on how he can die with one wrong move.
The angel has intense reflexes so he needed to be very careful this time.
As his Eva came out of the ground, Shinji sprint his Eva forward with all the strength he had and merely dodge the beam of light that hit him last time.
He pulled up his prog knife with only a reflex and continued to charge towards the angel.
The angel fired another beam and manage to hit it's target right in the spot.
Once again the beam from the angel hit Shinji so that he felt like being cooked from the inside out. But this time he won't go down without a fight.
As he was getting burnt he find the strength to throw the prog knife to the angel and manage to at least hit it's AT field.
The pain was so great that Shinji believed that he will die. At least he went down with a bang, something that even she would have admire for him.
He could hear her telling him how much he was idiot for charging without a plan but he is pretty sure she would have done the same.
Before he could think anything else he faded out of exhaustion.
It was a lovely day. The sun was up and the weather was calm. Shinji was going to his school like he did every day.
He could see other kids also going to school but they were way forward from him and for some reason he couldn't see their faces.
Shinji ignored this little detail after all he was a bit late than usual, so he just continued on.
He arrived last in the class and as he entered it he was confused with silence that was in the classroom.
"Hey, it's everything okay guys why with all this silence ?"
All the faces that looked away from him turned their glances towards him. But this faces luck any normal parts a face has. They didn't have eyes nor any nose or mouth. They were just blank expressions.
Shinji was shocked with that reveal and quickly turned around only to find more people with same type of face.
Shinji stopped for a second to realize what was happening but as he did all those people start pointing at him with their fingers.
They start saying : " Murderer" over and over again.
Shinji started running and shuffle his way through the crowd but as he did those people around him started melting in to LCL.
Shinji continued running regardless of what was happening around him. It had gotten to a point that the entire room was filled with LCL.
Shinji tried his best to move through this mess but the ground became harder to walk on.
Instead of running Shinji could only try to swim but the room was already filled with LCL and it was to reach the top and he didn't know how to swim.
Shinji tried his best to stay out from the depth but skeleton hands were trying from beneath to drag him down.
"Join us , become one with us. " Said the voices.
"NO, leave alone, leave alone."
"You won't outrun your punishment Shinji Ikari. "
"NO, NO,NO ."
But the voices didn't gave him mercy and drag him down slowly but steady. Shinji was drowned in a pool of LCL.
Shinji was suddenly awaken from his slumber covered in cold sweat .
"Ahh."
"Oh, you have finally awaken it took you quicker than last time." Said Rei surprised.
"That wasn't funny."
"It wasn't meant to be."
"Whatever. Are you here for something else except to be sarcastic?"
"I am here to inform you that in three hours the operation will start and you need to get ready, but I am pretty sure you already know that, so good luck then."
Shinji simply nodded and waited Rei to leave the hospital room.
"Well, here we go again." Started putting the suit which Rei gave him.
When the sun finally set and it was early in the night, Shinji went to the station where the operation will start and found Rei in the same position as before.
"Enjoy the view I see ." Said Shinji
"No, just wondering."
"About what?"
"About her."
"Get to the point."
"Why you are attracted to her ? In all the memories I recall she has been only mean to you."
"You don't know her the same way as I do. She be that on the outside but on the inside she is broken, even broken than me sometimes."
"She is fool, she believes that everyone will abandon because when she isn't a pilot. You really think that's an excuse for being bad to others?"
"No, but that's prove that deep down she a nice person who is misguided from the people that raised her. The reason why I was drove to her was because she was everything that I wasn't. She was smart confident, excited for everything, ready give her life on the line, a strong fighter in battle.."
" Arrogant will be more fitting."
"Even then, she was still an inspiring presence on the battlefield."
"Even if you find a way to spoke to her do you really think she will simply forgive you after what you have done to her."
"No, but I need to spoke to her I have still some things I need to say to her. I won't die till I say those words to her."
"Maybe I was wrong."
"Hmmm ?"
"She is the perfect person for you because both of you are most selfish people in the world." She said as got up and added.
" The time is up let's prepare for the battle."
"Okay kiddo you understand what you gonna to do ?" Said Misato over the vox
"Yes, Misato you don't have tell twice, I have two shots at maximum to fire before the angel gets to Nerv."
" I was just checking. You and Rei are only hopes we got now."
"You don't have to tell that again either" Thought Shinji over his head. He had already thrown humanity for his selfish beliefs, he doesn't have to do it again.
"Alright Shinji the main power it's coming to your rifle, both you and Rei take your positions and get ready for further instructions." Ritsuko inform them.
"Hai."
"Hai."
Shinji was prepared for what's to come. One shot won't be enough, the angel will block it since it isn't distracted from something else and can focus it's defence where it pleases. He must strike when it's defences are smaller than regularly and that's when it's attacking. The previous attack might look like a fools move at first glance but it actually showed it's weakness. If the prog knife was thrown much harder it might have pierced it's AT field.
Shinji took position and locked in the main target.
"Okay the angel is right infront of you Shinji get ready because the power is coming." Said Misato over the vox.
"I have locked in to my target I am for the power to come."
"Okay here it comes.4 ...3 ...2 ...1. NOW."
Shinji fired with all the that it got, the recoil was so good it knocked it him a little. But as expected the shot while good sadly it wasn't enough to pierce it's defence so it stop after a while.
It was the angel time to fire back and so it with a massive beam that could even destroy the main armour of Evangelion.
Hopefully, for Shinji he had Rei to cover his position with her massive shield.
"Dammit, we are now at our last shot make it count Shinji."
"I am locking at the target again. The target has been locked I am waiting for power again."
"Okay, power coming in 4."
"Ahhhhhh " Screamed Rei in pain.
"3"
"2"
"1"
" NOW " Shinji fired again with all his strength and might and just like last time the shot manage to penetrate the AT field of the angel with ease.
The angel had fallen once more.
Shinji could hear the cheering and the enthusiasm of Nerv over his vox but he ignored them and focus on his fallen sister.
He opened the entry pod much easier this time but because he ignored the pain of his burning hands and focused on what he was doing.
Rei was a bit unconscious like last time but she the strength to speak.
" You didn't need to come all the way here like last time. I am mostly fine."
" That might be the case but I still won't let you die , you are an important person to nonetheless."
"Do you really think that what you are you doing will earn your redemption? Why you even bother ?"
"No, I will never managed to earn my redemption, I have fallen way to deep to get out. I am doing this to find answers about what happened. If I don't keep enduring I won't be different than being dead . I must continue in order to prove my that everything that I see is real and I haven't die. It's prove that I still alive."
"Your selfishness surprise me every moment Ikari."
"Come on let's go. " Said Shinji while offering his hand to help her to get out of the pod.
Shinji doesn't know who put him in this mess and why. But he will find answers even it's means that he will have to endure the same hell as before. Because this his ready like never before.
A.N : So, that's part 1 for you. Did you like? Do you love it ? Do you think it's cringe ? Also regarding the length of those last chapters and the timing, as much as want not to leave my story without an update for a week or more, I do like this much lengthy chapters because it makes the waiting more earn and character development better.