Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Haiyore! Nyaruko-san, Demonbane or the Cthulhu Mythos and make no profit from this or any of my other fanfiction stories.

Author's Note: For the purposes of this story and ALL of my stories, I will be using what I personally feel is Book Canon for the purposes of the identity of James Potter's parents, and NOT the September 2015 Article written by J.K. Rowling for Pottermore, as I feel that said article was written much too late to count as properly canonical in terms of identifying James' parents to the vast majority of the series' fans.

xXx Friday, September 22nd, 1989 xXx

xXx The Great Hall of Hogwarts xXx

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry picked up the most recent edition of the Daily Prophet to read the day's news. He also took a sip of his morning tea as he was doing so.

Only seconds after reading the headline that sip of tea spewed right back out of his mouth, hitting Severus Snape in the face.

"Really? Just... really?" The dungeon bat asked in a drawl.

"My apologies dear boy… I can only say that I find the news this morning rather distressing," Dumbledore said in apology as he excused himself from the table and made his way up to his office.

Unseen by the Headmaster, almost everyone in the Great Hall at this point in time quickly picked up their own copies of the Daily Prophet so that they too could discover just what this 'distressing news' happened to be…

The Boy Who Lived Raised by Muggles!
by Andy Smudgley

Earlier today (September the 21st, 1989) an individual who wishes to remain anonymous came into the Daily Prophet with rather startling information. This individual claimed that Harry James Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was not being raised by Headmaster of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore as the general public had been led to believe. Rather this individual claims that Harry Potter was being raised by Harry's Muggle Aunt and Uncle.

If that were not bad enough, this individual asserts that the Muggles to whom Harry Potter had been entrusted into the care of were the sort of people to encourage their Muggle son to bully young Harry. Even worse is the fact that according to our informant, when Harry inquired as to the fate of his mother and father, his Aunt and Uncle told him that his parents had died in a car crash, and that they were drunken layabouts.

One must question the motives of Albus Dumbledore in leaving young Harry in the custody of such people. One wonders if Harry might not have been better off in the custody of a proper Wizarding family, rather than in the care of Muggles who clearly did not appreciate his contribution to society as a whole.

Severus Snape put down the newspaper after reading the article in question. As he did so, everyone in the Great Hall could tell that today was going to be a particularly awful day to be taking Potions lessons.

"Petunia? Albus decided it would be a good idea to leave Harry with Petunia? Is he completely out of his mind?" Severus asked incredulously.

"I tried to tell him leaving Harry with those sorts of Muggles was a bad idea…" Minerva started to say, only for Severus' head to whip around to look at her.

"You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?" Severus asked her in his most venomous tone of voice.

"I don't see what business it is of yours, Severus," Minerva countered.

"Lily would have never wanted her son to live in the custody of her sister. I would have made sure that Harry was in the care of the one who was rightfully supposed to take care of him," Severus stated just as venomously.

"What? Whatever do you mean?" Minerva asked suspiciously.

"Before she died, Lily sought me out, and informed me as to who Harry's godparents were. I would have made sure that Harry ended up in the care of his Godmother… seeing as how his Godfather is indisposed," Severus stated.

"But isn't his Godmother Alice Longbottom?" Minerva asked in confusion.

"I assume that is what James told Albus' Order?" Severus asked in mild confusion.

"Er… yes, it is," Minerva stated.

"Despite the fact that Albus sealed their will, Lily took the time to make a magically certified copy of the Will prior to their deaths and gave it to me. They did indeed name the Longbottoms their preference for who would look after Harry in the event of their untimely death, however Alice was not Harry's Godmother," Severus explained.

"I can only assume, based on the information in the article, that Harry is now safely in the custody of his Godmother, which is fortunate, because if he is, Albus has no legal recourse in trying to remove him from her custody. Magical law dictates that if a parent or prefered Guardian is incapable of caring for a child, then the Godparent is the one who takes primary custody," Severus stated with finality, "Trying to interfere with that, could cost Albus his magic."

"Oh Albus!" Minerva said in fear for the old man.

xXx Headmaster's Office xXx

As soon as he reached his office, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore went straight over to the fireplace, grabbed some powder from the snuffbox on the mantlepiece and tossed it into the fireplace while calling out "Barnabas Cuffe's Office, Daily Prophet."

It took only a few seconds for Barnabas to answer the Floo, "Ah! Headmaster, what can I do you for?"

"Mister Cuffe, it does these old eyes great pleasure to see such a fine upstanding citizen as yourself again. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to inform me as to who Mister Smudgley's source was for the article on young Harry Potter today?" Albus inquired.

"Headmaster, you know the laws, I cannot divulge the identity of an anonymous source without a warrant issued by the Department for Magical Law Enforcement that has been signed off by both the Minister for Magic AND the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. Now unless you happen to have such a document…" Barnabas countered the Headmaster.

"No, no, that is quite alright. I merely thought you would be willing to do me the favor of providing me this information. Alas, you obviously cannot, as per the strictures of your job. Thank you for your time, Mister Cuffe," Albus said as he disconnected the Floo.

With that information reminded to him, Albus returned to his desk and contemplated his next course of action. A glance over to the devices that monitored young Harry Potter had the Headmaster frowning because according to the devices, Harry Potter was still located in Surrey, however the implication of the article was that this was no longer the case.

Albus seriously wished that James and Lily had trusted him enough to allow him to be the one to witness the signing of their Will, alas this was not the case. All Albus had been able to do was to seal the Will before the date on which the Will would have needed to be read as per Ministry protocol.

As Chief Warlock, Albus had the jurisdiction to seal Wills that he felt may contain within them information which would be disastrous to the integrity of British Wizarding society, that however did not grant him the power to read those Wills prior to the official Will Reading. As such, Albus had absolutely no idea who could have had an interest in Harry's well-being other than Frank and Alice Longbottom.

To make the issue worse, while Albus had no doubts he could convince the Minister of the need for such a warrant, there was absolutely no chance in hell that he would be able to convince Madam Amelia Bones of the necessity for such a warrant. As such, he would be completely incapable of getting the warrant for the information in question.

Sighing to himself, Albus realized the utter futility of the situation. His only hope would be either that one of his informants, preferably Arabella Figg, would find Harry for him and notify him of the boys location, or he would have to wait for the boy's School Letter to be penned, as the pen that wrote those letters did so automatically based on the very magic in the School itself.

Unbeknownst to the Headmaster, he and his Phoenix weren't the only people in the room. And what would probably terrify the Headmaster even more, is that the other individual in the room is capable of such advanced Legilimency that only people like Luna and Ginny would truly be capable of stopping this person's probes. As such, the entirety of the Headmaster's plans and fears had just been laid out bare before this individual.

xXx Monday, July 29th, 1991 xXx
xXx The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole xXx

"Mum! Mum! Our Hogwarts Letters are here!" Ginny cried out.

"Don't be silly dear, you are too young to…" Molly Weasley countered as she took the letters from Ginevra, only to discover that the very first one had the following written upon it:

Miss. G. Weasley
First Floor Bedroom
The Burrow
Ottery St. Catchpole
Devon

"I... I don't understand…" Molly said after reading the envelop three or four times in confusion.

"Well obviously Headmaster Dumbledore believes I am ready to start attending Hogwarts, Mum!" Ginny stated excitedly.

"Yes, yes, you are probably correct. Oh very well then. You can attend with your brothers this year," Molly said after some hesitation.

"YAY! Thank you! Thank you!" Ginny said as she ran up and hugged her mother enthusiastically.

"Of course dear. Now run along and give your brothers their letters," Molly said, handing the letters back to Ginny.

"Yes, Mum!" Ginny said as she ran out of the room.

xXx Same Day xXx
xXx The Rookery xXx

*POP*

The Heads of Harry, Luna, Pandora and Xenophilius all swivelled to take in the sight of the person who had just apparated directly into their dining room as they were about to have their midday meal.

The person was a girl that looked to be about Luna's age, but who had thigh length purple hair. Much like Luna, this girl also had startling green eyes that were rather reminiscent of those belonging to Harry. The oddest thing about this girl however, was that she had on a frilly white dress slip, panties, with Mary Jane style shoes and white dress socks along with ribbons… lots and lots of ribbons.

"Onee-sama!" Luna cried out as she got up and tackle/hugged the girl. Surprisingly both girls were able to stay on their feet.

"Hello Nyaruko-san, how have you been doing?" The girl, who was apparently Al Azif, inquired of Luna.

"Oh I'm doing wonderfully. What brings you here though? Shouldn't you be at Hogwarts?" Luna asked.

"I left Etheldreda to look after the school," Al Azif stated.

"Who… or what… is Etheldreda?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"You'd probably recognize her by the name of the Pnakotic Manuscripts," Luna stated.

"Oh hell…" Harry muttered under his breath.

Al Azif smirked at that statement before saying "Ah, so you must be Harry-kun. The rumors I have heard don't do you justice. Anyways, here you two go… your Hogwarts Letters," with that said, Al handed Luna two letters, which she took and handed one to Harry.

"Er… I don't mean to be rude, but don't the Hogwarts Owls usually deliver those letters?" Xenophilius inquired.

"While normally that is the case, I happened to overhear the Headmaster making plans to use these letters as a means to find out where Harry is being kept. Now I don't mean to tell you what to do, but… I would suggest that for your own safety and the sanctity of your home, as well as that of Harry's, you find someone who isn't a member of the Headmaster's Rotisserie Group that you can trust, and have them escort Harry both to Diagon Alley, and to the Platform on September First," Al Azif commented.

Xenophilius and Pandora both blinked upon hearing this information, however it was Pandora who asked the pertinent question, "You um… wouldn't happen to know who is in the Headmaster's Rotisserie Group, now would you?"

Al Azif hummed thoughtfully for a moment, "Let me see… well as of the last time I had an opportunity to snoop around his office when he wasn't around and decided to also read the rooster he keeps of the members the following people were members, not including himself: Alastor Moody, Aberforth Dumbledore, Arabella Figg, Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Doge, Emmeline Vance, Minerva McGonagall, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin and Sturgis Podmore. He has also added notations that although they were not active members of the Order, that Augusta Longbottom, Filius Flitwick, Horace Slughorn, Olympe Maxime and Pomona Sprout are considered allies of the group."

"I see, thank you. I will get in touch with Andromeda Tonks and ask her if she can escort Harry to the Alley and Platform. She is a paternal cousin of Harry's, so it shouldn't be an issue." Pandora stated.

"Oh, well that would work then. I had best be off before Ethel sets fire to the Garfield again," Al Azif stated as she disappeared with a pop.

"Who's Garfield?" Harry asked.

"No idea," all three of the other occupants of the room said in some confusion.

xXx Thursday, August 8th, 1991 xXx
xXx The Rookery xXx

"Hello? Is anyone home?" The voice of Andromeda Tonks called out from the home's entryway.

A few moments later, Luna came skipping up to the door, "Oh, hello, you must be Mrs. Tonks…" Luna then turned her attention to the pink haired girl standing next to the brunette woman, "And you are?"

"Wotcher, I'm Tonks…" the pink haired girl stated.

Luna raised an eyebrow at that statement, "So Tonks & Tonks? Are you by chance also solicitors?"

"It is fairly common knowledge that I am a solicitor," Andromeda confirmed.

Luna shrugged before saying "Your traveling companion is this way, if you would follow me?" She then turned and walked into the house.

As soon as the trio arrived in the living room, Andromeda blushed bright red, while the hair of the self-named 'Tonks' shifted from stereotypical bubblegum pink to a dark shade of magenta.

The reason for the two older women's embarrassment was because they had just walked in to witness Ginny (who was wearing an outfit that consisted of a skin-tight pinkish leotard that left the skin of her upper stomach, the majority of her virtually non-existent cleavage. It also did very little to hide her glutes and thighs, though it did a remarkably good job covering what needed to be covered it didn't leave a whole heck of a lot to the imagination) running around the room laughing as she chased an equally laughing Harry Potter.

"Hey! Games over, Harry's ride is here!" Luna said in a loud voice to get the attention of the other two, who promptly ground to a halt.

Ginny took one look at the two older women who were still staring at her in a sense of shock, before she grinned and was wreathed in the crimson light of live fire. Fortunately Ginny had absolute control over these fires, so there was no actual risk of setting the house ablaze. When the fire cleared, Ginny was dressed in the ordinary sundress that she had come to the house earlier wearing.

Tonks let out a low whistle and asked "don't suppose you could teach me how to do that?"

"Afraid not," Ginny stated with a grin.

"As interesting as that is, the trip to Diagon Alley today promises to be a long and trying one as both of you young ladies are by now sure to be well aware of. So we had best be off. Come along, Harry, Nymphadora," Andromeda Tonks said as she ushered her two charges out the door.

As soon as she said 'Tonks' name however, the three youngsters raised their eyebrows, while 'Tonks' issued forth an "Awww, Mum! Did you have to? You know what that name does to me…" all the while 'Tonks' was blushing furiously.

"Would you prefer we call you Dora?" Harry inquired.

Both Andromeda and 'Tonks' blinked at that question. 'Tonks' suddenly rushed forward and wrapped Harry in a hug that placed his head right up inside her large bosom, "Yes! Yes! That is absolutely perfect! Thank you, Harry!"

With that said, the now named Dora, Andromeda and Harry exited the house. Andromeda paused and asked "Now Harry, I don't suppose you have ever traveled by Apparition before?"

Harry cocked his head to the side and said "No ma'am, I haven't."

"Well, I feel that I must warn you. Apparition can be most uncomfortable to those of us who have never experienced it before…" Andromeda started to say, only for her daughter to interject her own thoughts regarding the subject.

"It feels somewhat like you are having your entire body compressed and forcefully squeezed through a stirring straw, until you end up at your destination. It all happens really quick, but you still feel it all the same."

Harry's face rapidly drained of all color after hearing that explanation.

"Why thank you… Dora… I was trying not to scare the boy," Andromeda said acerbically.

"Well, at least I neglected to explain splinching to him…" Dora said offhandedly.

"That's enough dear," Andromeda told her daughter. She then extended her hand to Harry, "Now grab on dear, Dora will be able to travel on her own, as she is of age and has her Apparition License, although she will be attending Hogwarts for her final year of education this year."

Harry apprehensively grabbed Andromeda's hand. Once he did, Andromeda said "Now hold tight, and then off we go."

What followed was perhaps one of the worst experiences of Harry's entire life as he felt the sensations that Dora perfectly described, an intense compressing sensation, followed by what felt like his entire body being forcibly squeezed through a straw.

When the sensation left him, Harry fell to the floor and just about barfed up his entire morning meal before he could really get a good look at his surroundings.