Of course, it had to be her. It couldn't have been anyone else in the entirety of St. Canard. It had to be the woman who's been at his throat for the last six months.
The next few days were relatively quiet.
Bud would drop by to check in on the project. Kimbra would make a snarky reply and poke fun at his company. They'd bicker back and forth until someone else told them to get a room. They'd avoid making eye contact after that.
Neither of them brought up the night on the rooftop.
He'd been struggling to bury his feelings for Kimbra down. Out of his mind. Every day, he became more afraid of finally letting it all out. He knew that she knew. She knew he felt something towards her. She just had to know.
He'd just not look her way; suppress his longing for her.
Bud really doesn't know what to say around her. You could tell her. A small voice inside Bud's head faintly said. He shook his head, trying to wipe it from his thoughts. The last thing he wanted was for them to drift apart again. Complicating their relationship with the words 'I love you'.
You could tell her. He repeated the words as though it were the most absurd notion he had ever heard.
It ran through his mind all day. While he looked over the project blueprints. When Kimbra teased him about the tacky pineapple socks he was wearing. During lunch, when Ainsley invited everyone out to that new Chinese place down the street.
Bud had so many opportunities to tell her. He wanted to tell her. He needed to tell her, but he couldn't.
Not now. Not yet.
"Shut it down, boys," Dr. Ainsley called out to his staff near the end of the day.
An array of whines and groans echoed through the facility. Bud's employees had never made a fuss about shutting down for the day. It made him question if he ran his company wrong.
"Can't we stay open a little longer?" Warden, a short gopher from Research and Development, stepped down the staircase, stopping at the last step. "Trent and I are so close to inventing an alternative option to pesticides for farmers!"
See what I mean?
Kimbra, with a handful of papers, raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't ladybugs be an alternative option, Dr. Pitas?"
"No, it would not be an alternative option!" He moved his hands in the air to gesture something to reinforce his explanation, but his attempts went over their heads. "You know what? Never mind."
Warden huffed and stomped back up the stairs, out of sight. It made the corners of Kimbra's mouth curl up as she handed over the documents to the receptionist. Bud watched the pair engage in a conversation, Kimbra often pointing out areas of the papers. The receptionist would nod from time to time, filing each paper after Kimbra finished explaining whatever was on it.
"I'm surprised you stayed so long today." The elderly reptilian that Bud had now considered a friend, joined his side.
"I figured I'd start staying longer and more often since we're closing in on the deadline." Bud lied. He wanted to avoid admitting to Ainsley that he was in love with one of the employees and wanted to see her more.
"Smart," Ainsley nodded in approval. "I'll be glad when the damn thing is over with. Been worrying my mind about it ever since I approved it." He then looked over to where Kimbra was still talking to the receptionist, and back to Bud. "It's nice to see you two getting along better these days."
Bud said nothing for a moment. But then asked a question that's been on his mind recently. "Dr. Ainsley?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you pick me as the project sponsor?"
The old man thought for a moment, tapped his chin with a claw. "I can't rightfully say. I'm not as young as I used to be, and my mind wanders…but maybe I just thought it'd be funny and lighten up the place if I paired Kimbra with someone she constantly ranted about."
Bud said nothing, as he didn't know whether the reptile was teasing him or not. He didn't have time to ask.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Bud. Take care."
Dr. Ainsley gave Bud's shoulder a parting squeeze before leaving for the night. One by one, several of the staff left. Everyone departed at their own pace. The lab boys were the first to leave after Dr. Ainsley, loudly boasting how they would go to the bar on seventh street and try out drinking the team from SpecCorp.
Leslie and Neil were arguing about space matter and whether or not you could survive being shot at the sun (Leslie said no, but Neil said he was different and could survive such an ordeal). The rest of the C.O.R.E team looked drained, exhausted from all the work they've been doing to finish the project on time.
A soft blue light filtered into the lobby from the moon. It outlined everyone with the same soft hue, making everything look like it was from a dream.
Bud watched the assortment of men, women, and anyone else who didn't fall into those categories, leave the building.
Then he saw her.
Her lab coat was already off, and she was gathering her stuff to leave. Her purse sat upon the reception desk as she dug around it for something. She pulled out a small black hairband. Kimbra tied her purple hair up into a ponytail. She noticed his gaze and gave him a little smile.
And there it was. The reason why Bud got into this mess in the first place.
That night, Bud stood in front of his office window, staring at the darkened skyline. There were moments in his life where he despised the silence. He scratched irritably at the back of his neck. The collar of his dress shirt rubbing against it had started to become unbearable. Much like the constant back and forth with Kimbra.
Bud dropped on the small couch—breathing out a sigh. He picked up a black remote from the side table and switched on the television in the corner.
Late Night with Colin Flud.
The all too familiar intro made Bud feel queasy. Guilty. Ashamed. That only aggravated his gloom.
"We've got a terrific lineup for you all tonight," the heavy Scottish accent was off-putting. So familiar, and yet it was also the voice of a stranger.
Someone he hadn't spoken to in over fifteen years.
Bud spent most of his life running away from ghosts. Parts of his past he wanted to forget. Memories washed over him that he hadn't thought of in years. Bad memories. Unpleasant ones. Their mother, Julie, constantly reminded Bud that he was a disappointment. That he was never enough for her or their family.
He could almost hear her voice.
"I cannot believe you're refusing to go to Harvald!" Julie paced across the dining room as she dramatically gestured with her hands. "It's where your father and his grandfather went! It's where your cousins are going! Hell, even your cousin Morty is going there! Morty Flud of all people!"
"I don't know mom, maybe I don't want to be like them." It came out a little bitter, but after eighteen years of this, Bud grew resentful against his overbearing mother.
She stopped in front of the entryway that led into the foyer. "God, you're such a disappointment. A Flud, going to St. Canard University. We didn't send you to that private school all these years to waste your education on SCU!" There was a grim resignation upon her face. "Does your father know about this?"
Bud said nothing. He hadn't told his father about his decision. He hadn't really planned on it.
"Well?" Julie pressed when he remained silent.
"No, I didn't tell him."
"Oh, so what, were you going to go on your own behind our backs? Just think you can do whatever you want without a regard for anyone but yourself?"
"Ma, it's not like that."
"Because it's certainly what it sounds like, Bud."
"I'm not doing it out of spite! I want to go there. They have great programs and I can get a degree in business."
She twisted her face into a grimace. "You can do that at Harvald!"
"I don't want to go all the way to Harvald."
"Harvald has the best professors and a wonderful business program. I don't see why you'd refuse to even consider it."
"Because I don't want to go all the way to Harvald!" Bud repeated his statement more forcefully.
Julie opened her mouth to possibly yell back at him, but the opening and closing of the front door interrupted them. Harrison was home. The conversation was about to derail even further.
The poodle sighed and crossed her arms. "Oh, great, well now here's your father. You can tell him your ridiculous little plan and see what he thinks of it." She flung the words at him.
Julie and Harrison's marriage was more of a business alliance than anything. They tolerated one another and worked as business partners. Bud wasn't even sure if the two liked each other.
"Julie, I could hear you hollering from the driveway." A tall hound in a dark suit and graying hair stepped into the dining room. Square framed glasses sat upon his face, as did a cold, stern expression.
Julie gestured at her husband while looking at Bud. "Tell him."
Harrison's dark eyes bore into Bud's. "Tell me what?"
Obviously, Bud feared his father. The tall man with the deep voice and scowl held a lot of power over others. He owned the record label, Arctic Records. A well-respected man who was responsible for hundreds of careers. He never smiled. Never laughed. Nothing. It intimidated rival labels and even aspiring artists. But getting signed onto Arctic Records meant you were set for success.
"I'm…going to St. Canard University in the fall." Bud admitted, but his words were slow, hesitant. Like he didn't want to say them out loud.
"You're what?" The last word from Harrison dripped with anger. His eyebrows furrowed, and the younger hound felt even smaller.
"I'm going to SCU." Bud stood his ground for the first time in his life. It was terrifying. He didn't know what Harrison would do. If he'd hit him or scream at him, or if he'd even care. He flinched at the thought.
Harrison stood a step towards him. "Like hell you are. You aren't going to embarrass this family even more than you already have."
That set Bud off. "If I'm such an embarrassment, then why the hell did you even have me!? All you and mom have ever done is constantly criticize and degrade me!" His fists clenched at his sides and tears welled up in his eyes.
His barbed retort brought a moment of silence upon the family.
Then, in a calm and cold-hearted tone, Harrsion spoke. "Fine, go to SCU. But Buddy, when you walk out that door you aren't welcome here ever again. I don't want to see your face if you're so hellbent on embarrassing the family name."
And Bud did what any rational person would do.
He walked out that door.
Colin's heavy accent pulled Bud back to the present. "Our first guest of the night is St. Canard's finest, Brice Cawson!"
The crow stepped onto the set, waving at the audience before taking a seat beside Colin's desk. Bud couldn't stomach the show anymore. He shut off the television and tossed the remote on the other end of the couch. Bud rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. The last time he had spoken to his baby brother was the day Bud had left. He was ten years older than Colin. Being eighteen at the time meant Colin was only eight.
Bud finished packing his things. He knew the rest of his life wouldn't be easy, but he sure as hell couldn't stay here. He had to get out.
"Please take me with you," the young hound grasped onto Bud's arm, pleading desperately. "Don't leave me with them." Tears fell freely down the boy's face.
A sigh as Bud tossed the last bag into the trunk."Colin, I can't take you with me."
"Please." The plea was desperately strained. "You know how they are."
Bud closed the trunk of the car with a slam. He ruffled Colin's dark brown hair and mumbled out a goodbye. Leaving the boy standing hopelessly in the large driveway.
He never looked back.
That day, Bud Flud vowed to put everything behind him. Sure, Harrison and Julie attempted to contact him a few times after that. Once he thought they had redeemed themselves and were trying to be better and wanted a second chance. Turns out they were only trying to marry Bud off to a wealthy councilman's daughter, to keep him from completely ruining the family name.
Because he alone wasn't good enough.
Then again, nothing was ever good enough for them. After Bud yelled at them for that, they all permanently cut ties with one another. Harrison and Julie began to pretend they only had one son. Bud never spoke of his family. No one ever cared enough to ask. He never let anyone get close enough to him to ask.
"Don't leave me with them."
Bud felt another stab of guilt. He would not revisit that time.
Your darkest moment.
Colin wasn't strong enough to stand up to their parents. He had a tender heart. Just wanted to please them and win over their favor, so he'd feel like someone loved him. He craved their approval, so he did whatever they asked or ordered.
Bud last heard that they forced him to go to Harvald. He graduated with honors, but that wasn't enough for Harrison or Julie. Julie pulled some strings with friends over at Westire Entertainment and the television network. Colin found himself the host of their new late night show, Late Night with Colin Flud. Subsequently, she forced him into taking theater classes, so he'd learn a Scottish accent, setting him apart from other late night show hosts. She wanted him to be unique. Unforgettable.
It was enough, but never quite enough.
Julie's plan worked, as the show became a staple in St. Canard. One of the most viewed late night shows in television history. Behind that smile and fake heavy accents, Bud saw the misery and pain in his brother's eyes. He felt guilty for not bringing Colin with him. For not helping him escape the wrath of their parents.
I don't regret the day I left.
But Bud was only eighteen at the time. He couldn't care for a ten-year-old or had the financial means to do so at the time. He wasn't ready to be a parent while going to college. The choice was selfish. Bud knew that. It ate away at him when he laid in bed at night. When he'd watch Colin's show during the nights, insomnia kept him up. Whenever he'd see two brothers playing at the park while he headed to work. Everything reminded Bud of the brother he had left behind.
"Please don't leave me."
A sense of weariness overcame him.
I'm sorry, Colin.