Chapter 22, everybody! Where Obake denies progress on being buddies with Fred. In his words, how dare you.
Okay so since the chase through town by Yokai didn't happen Wasabi's car never ended up at the bottom of the bay and Fred never brought everybody to his house so…fast-forward to Fred's Bro-Tillion. So saying that, it was very entertaining writing this chapter knowing that ninety percent of those involved had no idea what was being said and just rolled with it because it's Fred. XD
So you can tenderize meat with marinade but the classic means to do so is indeed wrapping it in plastic and then beating it to death with those mallets with the teeth. Great stress-reliever too. Sake is Japanese booze and, like other booze, you can cook with it and the act of cooking it burns off the alcohol. The dangling the Volkswagens from the bridge comes from a story I read about MIT ages ago and years ago I would have been able to say that listening to the "Driving in San Francisco" skit would have explained Obake's opinions but I'm not allowed to recommend that comedian anymore because reasons. :|
I am reasonably certain there's a liquid degreaser out there—at the very least Dawn dish soap exists. Bueno Nacho is from Kim Possible and again knowing the two shows were made by the same people is what got me to give this series a chance. Also, "Hello my name is Fred and it has been thirty days since my last—" coupled with the surfer dude attitude…Gogo's probably pretty sure her assumption has basis. Anywho no BH6: Breaking Bad for these guys.
I had to look at the wiki to learn about cotillions but apparently that's a snooty high-society coming-out thing so…Obake gets to mention it. Also yes the boys are nerds and the Perfect Cast they're referencing is from A Goofy Movie. Also Word recognized Switzerstan HOW.
Juxshoa, thanks for the review! Not if he insists on making affronts to nature like that. XD
Big Hero 6 © 2014 Disney
The next day was more of the routine of rolling his eyes at Tadashi trying to talk him into schooling, would definitely have to ask Gogo how she managed to avoid straining those muscles considering the bland murderface wasn't doing it.
In the meantime, he had a different member of the nerd herd to consult.
I think I have those canon waypoints you told me about, he texted Fred using the phone he had bought with the money stolen from Yama (Fred had been eager to share numbers, which got him over the awkward part of knowing it beforehand). Can we schedule a writing meeting that isn't Noodle Burger?
Had his tote bag packed and was heading downstairs, mostly to head out with some semblance of something to do when his phone beeped with Fred's answer.
My dude I am so sorry to flake rn but I got a family thing—if it's super-serious can't wait call me, OK?
Scowl, huff—no, yes remind yourself that as much as you'd like it to the world didn't revolve around you and these other people had lives, as vapid as Fred's was. Text back no it can wait and stuff his phone into his bag, aggravated.
"Uh-oh, what's with the angry face?" Cass asked, putting donuts in the glass cases.
"Nothing," he muttered, glaring at nothing—subsided at her look that reminded him strongly of some of Granville's. "I ah…texted Fred about something but he's busy."
She considered him for long enough that he had to wonder if she bought that or not. "Well…if you need something to do I've got more dumplings to make…or you could learn how to tenderize meat."
Considering he literally didn't have any other plans for his morning…."Sure."
To be fair, he was pretty sure this wasn't the most effective way to tenderize meat, but considering she handed him an apron and a mallet with spikes and told him to go to town, she seemed sold on it. Hit it a few times before she stopped him.
"No," she said. "Meat tenderizing is for when you're mad at everybody. Beat that steak like it owes you money. Picture the person you want to pulverize but won't because you don't want to go to jail and then pretend that steak is them. Excise the frustration."
"I'm sorry, you wanted a flatter steak, not meat powder, correct?" he said drily.
"On the one hand I'm reasonably sure you can't actually pulverize the steak, on the other I have concerns," she said. "Seriously, beat it like you mean it."
Okay with that in mind…was very glad the meat was wrapped because otherwise bits of flesh would have gone everywhere. Switch arms, dredge up every single frustration he had…finally had to stop when both arms were aching and he was totally worn out.
"Oh…kay," Cass noised. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," he said flatly. "What else do you need me to do?"
Made some more potstickers, eye the sake that Cass was using in her cooking before reminding himself that he actually hated drinking and no it never helped. Zoned out on assembling the dumplings, forcing himself to think of nothing despite how much work that took because good night he needed to not think of the absolute disaster his life was for like five minutes. Wasn't sure if he succeeded.
Definitely didn't, considering the look of concern Cass was still giving him. "You're sure you don't want to talk about it."
"Pretty sure," he said flatly.
Which carried him until she finally shooed him out of the kitchen—washed himself off, returned to the little table in the corner that generally functioned as the family table and tug out his laptop, poking at nothing until Cass came over with a plate of potstickers.
"Huh? Huh?" she asked, putting them down. "They look a lot better than yesterday's batch, am I right?"
It took a few long beats for him to realize what she meant. "Ah…yes. Yes they do."
She gave him about two potstickers after their moment of silence before commenting.
"Okay I know you said it's nothing and you don't want to talk about it but you're seriously starting to worry me," she told him. "Can't you give me a hint? Something I can do to help?"
He was reasonably certain if he explained it to her she'd shut down, decided to finally give her an infinitesimally tiny bit of it. "I don't really want to tell you because you might tell Hiro or Tadashi and then I'd never hear the end of it."
"I promise I won't tell the boys. What's up? You're thinking about SFAI?"
Wasn't quick enough to squash his expression of disgust judging by her reaction. "Okay okay I know two nerd boys who swore eternal feuding with SFAI when they signed up for SFIT, but all three of you need to know that I got my Culinary Arts degree there so it's not like, totally evil."
"That's a matter of opinion."
"I mean yes you guys get glitter and paint everywhere but every year SFIT steals the Shimamoto statue and that sort of thing kind of gets old—it's like dangling the Volkswagens from the Torii Gate Bridge."
"Shimamoto was a scientist too—and anyone daft enough to drive a Volkswagen in San Fransokyo deserves to have it dangled from a bridge."
"Okay firstly Volkswagens are cute. Secondly…Shimamoto was a scientist?"
Oh right that hadn't even remotely come out yet. "Ah—"
"Seriously if that's the case why are you guys so salty at each other?" she asked. "If one person can be both then it's not that bad."
Oi vey. "I ah—I don't want you telling the others because I'm…writing something. I've been using Fred as a sounding board."
"Oh," she said, blinking. "What kind of something?"
"I don't want to actually share it."
"But you're okay with fielding it by Fred?"
No. "Fred informs me there's something called the beta bro code—I really didn't want to ask for clarification."
She nodded, both of them picking at their lunches…finally looked at him. "So…my expresso machine is probably overdue for some punching—want to fix it before I hit it again?"
He was more than happy to take advantage of this change in tack. "Yes—don't want you punching the machinery again."
"Hey if it worked the first time this wouldn't be a problem. Plus it gets me ready for the inevitable robot uprising."
Couldn't help but snort at that. "Fair enough."
It was sometime mid-afternoon by the time Obake had the expresso machine disassembled enough to even begin figuring out what was wrong with it, had a few tables pushed together in their corner with trays on top, soaking some of the more crud-caked parts as he worked on the rest.
"When was the last time this got maintenanced?" he had to ask.
"I…have no idea," she admitted. "I think Hiro was twelve and took it apart to see how it worked."
Huff—well it sounded like the boy. Took more notes on how it was put together, consider how to improve it while keeping it focused on its primary function. Oh wouldn't that be amusing, an expresso machine that functioned like that waste of a military robot. Hmm, better not.
Was able to more effectively lose himself in this work though, didn't really come up for air until his phone buzzed, made him look to see that Fred had sent a group text.
EMERGENCY need assistance meet at Lucky Cat thx bye!
Okay so this was most likely nonsense…hopefully wasn't Fred outing him to the group he'd never hear the end of it from the Hamada brothers. Got the last of the parts soaking and then cleaned himself up a little before the others arrived, guessing that he was being roped into whatever this was.
Hiro spotted the discrepancy first. "Oh wow what happened to the expresso machine?"
"Obake's fixing it," Cass said.
Hiro glared at him as he came up. "I was going to fix that."
"Eventually, I'm sure," Obake countered smoothly. "You two didn't get a nonsense text from Fred, did you?"
"Yeah I'm kind of concerned at what qualified for an emergency for Fred," Wasabi said, coming in with the rest of the nerd herd.
"They're probably building a Bueno Nacho across from Yaki Tako," Gogo guessed.
"Or they're cancelling the Kentucky Kaiju sequel," Tadashi suggested.
Fred's emergency turned out to be none of these things.
"So," Fred said once he had them all seated. "I bring you together because I am approaching a tremendous moment in my life and I need help preparing for it."
"We'll support you in whatever path you choose to take, Freddie," Honey Lemon said.
"Maybe not every path," Gogo said.
"Gogo."
"I'm not helping him with a side job utilizing pharmaceuticals."
"Okay that's fair."
"Good news, we're not doing that," Fred assured her. "No—actually my bro-tillion is coming up, Mom's wanting me totally prepared and I need to be totally gentlemanly to make sure I don't embarrass her and honestly every time I think of it my brain goes fzzzt so I am bro enough to understand that I need help with this."
Dead silence.
"Okay so…whatever that was, that wasn't what I was expecting," Wasabi admitted.
"Fred, what is a bro-tillion?" Tadashi asked.
"So. A bro-tillion is like, a coming out into society thing," Fred said. "I'm not really crazy about it, Mom is, she is like, totally freaked about it because Binky—which to be fair I did let a bunch of monkeys out once and might have driven a yacht into the country club but there were extenuating circumstances."
Dead silence.
"Okay honestly I can believe the monkeys thing," Gogo said.
"So…it's like a bar mitzvah?" Honey Lemon guessed.
"Or a cotillion," Obake offered, finally placing the event as being when Baron Von Steamer first showed up on his radar. Still a stupid name, but it made him wonder if Steamer would show to target Boss Awesome's child or if the appearance of superheroes had been what triggered it.
"It's a fancy-schmancy party and I am the opposite of stoked for it," Fred said. "But Mom's going full steam on it and I really don't want to disappoint her this is kind of stressing her out."
"You could have it here," Obake pointed out, deciding it was probably better to try to avert the whole Steamer thing than potentially trigger the superheroes forming.
"That would be awesome…but then Binky."
"What is a Binky?" Wasabi asked blankly.
"Super-snooty lady, no one in my family likes her."
"You could not invite Binky," Tadashi suggested.
"Ooh I like that—you're not invited to my birthday party anymore. But then you know she might do a Maleficent and curse my firstborn so that'd be a problem."
"Bold of you to assume you'll have children," Gogo said, sparing Obake from saying it.
"Bruh."
"Moving on," Tadashi said. "Yes, Fred, we'll help. What do you need?"
"A bath and clean underwear," Wasabi said immediately. "This is nonnegotiable."
"Done," Fred said. "Also suit is done-ish—Heathcliff took measurements earlier—but I'm also expected to dance and that's kinda nerve-racking because it's supposed to be like, fancy snobbish dancing and that's not my forte."
"So no Perfect Cast," Tadashi said.
"No Perfect Cast," Fred said, sagging.
"Okay so you both are nerds," Hiro said. "But I have an idea about the dancing bit."
Hiro's idea was revealed five minutes later when he dragged Baymax into the room.
"Presenting Baymax—now with dance mode," Hiro announced, holding up a chip before plugging it into Baymax.
"So I'm not sure about the healthcare applications, but okay," Tadashi said, watching with the rest of them as Baymax demonstrated his new moves. Very ridiculous, very annoying. "Fred, what kind of fancy snobbish dancing were you having to learn?"
"The waltz," Fred said—was suddenly grabbed by Baymax and hugged close.
"The waltz," Baymax announced, lighting up his chest and playing faint music. "Please follow this pattern: one two three, one two three, one two three—"
"Okay so from the sounds of it Fred's mom is doing most of the party planning," Tadashi continued. "And the outfit, so this is really the only thing we really need to worry about beyond moral support. Hey Fred, are we invited to this thing?"
"Duh, totally," Fred said. "Oh wait did I not say that?"
"I think you were more concerned about your mom, Freddie," Honey Lemon said. "You know dance mode is actually a really cool idea."
"I mean I guess it could be for like, physical therapy," Tadashi said, thinking on it.
"And dip," Baymax said, dipping Fred low before returning him to his upright position. "You have now been shown: the waltz."
"Okay so I just gotta remember that between now and the bro-tillion," Fred said, a look of intense concentration on his face. "Wait what are the steps again?"
"So at the very least Baymax has to go," Gogo said.
"My dudes we're all going, otherwise it's just me and a bunch of people I don't know," Fred insisted—dug his phone out when it buzzed. "Uh-oh."
"What's uh-oh?" Wasabi asked.
"Mom just texted me, says it's urgent—hang tight lemme call her."
Tadashi watched Fred answer the phone as he ducked into the garage, looked at the rest of them. "So what do you think?"
"I think Fred has lost it, but that's nothing new," Gogo said.
"I second this opinion," Obake said, still trying to think of how to derail the potential encounter with Steamer.
"Okay firstly both of you are mean," Tadashi said. "Secondly…okay fine I have no idea what this is even supposed to be but it's Fred, he is our friend, we're supposed to be there for him."
"Can I see that in writing?" Gogo asked.
Tadashi was cut off from answering by Fred coming back in. "Bad news, guys."
"Binky's coming?" Hiro asked, still looking heavily confused on the topic.
"Yes," Fred said, flopping down over the back of the couch. "Also the caterer canceled and Dad's stuck in Switzerstan but Mom doesn't want to cancel. So now Dad isn't coming and there's gonna be no food."
"Why is your dad in Switzerstan?" Wasabi asked, looking like confusion was going to be a permanent emotion from now on.
"There was an avalanche, he's helping dig everyone out. Which is cool and all, but still, Mom's now super-stressed about the bro-tillion and now she's gotta find a caterer on short notice."
Obake could almost hear the little light bulb going off over Hiro's head. "Wait—Aunt Cass—I bet she could cater!"
Fred sat up. "Seriously?"
"Yeah hold on let me ask," Hiro said, running into the café.
"Okay so if she says yes that would be awesome," Fred said, righting himself.
"Even though you don't like this whole thing," Gogo said.
"Well yeah but it's important to Mom."
Hiro ran back in. "Aunt Cass says yes."
"Excellente! Oh wait you guys probably need to know where—"
"We can drive over real quick," Cass said, sticking her head in. "I can put the sign in the door hold on."
"Okay so everyone in the car we're going to Fred's," Tadashi said, herding everyone out.
"I'm curious," Obake said to Fred once everyone was out of immediate hearing range. "Does anyone else know where you live?"
"No—oh wait I probably need to ride with Aunt Cass hey hold on," Fred yelped, running after her.
Obake, meanwhile, couldn't help but chuckle darkly at that. "Oh I can't wait to see this."