Chapter 27, everybody! In which Obake avoids being arrested for now….Also happy Cinco De Mayo! :D
No Tadashi won't let the Airplane! reference slip by what do you take him for. As for Obake…it's the big one. "It's going to rain" is a common declaration in our house when someone does something unexpected—not sure where it comes from. Raining frogs comes from Don't Starve.
Moving on…the sheer number of times I've had to punch up my wording for my dissertation hurt, basically they want you to be as descriptive as possible while writing within a certain grade level (to put it in perspective, average writing requirements for marketing are roughly 3-5th grade reading level, dissertation is higher) while also acting like you're writing in Victorian England and being paid by the word, made even better (re: worse) by the fact that most every other writing situation outside of government writing wants you to be concise. You ever see "more research is required" in a scientific paper, that's code for this has taken ten years out of my life I am sick of this I just want it to be over.
As for the resume writing comment—that comes from one of those Pinterest pics of a Tumblr post, except it was McDonalds in the post. Basically Obake is helping Hiro up his BS-ing game. And oh look Season Two stuff! Y'all remember Chief Cruz, right? This one scene also has a reference to the Dharma and Greg episode "Much Ado During Nothing"—said show was also set in San Francisco so it works. XD And then the next scene references the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie—Cruz is coming to San Fran pending a background check and helping a blue hedgehog retrieve his rings.
Tadashi's quote comes from the Foxtrot comic strip while Obake quotes Chicken Run (I'm sure there's more I missed mentioning, but we got a new puppy yesterday and I got like three minutes of sleep last night). Also I headcanon Obake as ace/aro and it is my understanding that there are fans view Hiro the same way. It is also my understanding that there are people who threaten bodily harm if people dare to view Hiro as anything but, to which I say will you chill out already the point of being ace is we skipped that particular weirdness of puberty kicking in we opted out but we acknowledge that others didn't, you're trying to dictate how people play in the sandbox when the point is freeform play, chill.
Juxshoa, thanks for the review! Oh trust me, when the other shoe drops it'll drop hard.
Big Hero 6 © 2014 Disney
"So in other news, this is why I don't date."
"Aw, come on, Aunt Cass, you can't let one guy screw up the whole experience," Tadashi said as they rode home. "Just because Krei's a total jerk and—Mel?—was odd doesn't mean you can just swear off dating."
"I can and I will I'll just vicariously live through your dating experience," Cass said. "By the way, how are you and Honey Lemon doing?"
"Oh wow look at that graffiti out there that is some graffiti."
"They shop for stickers together, they're doing fine," Hiro supplied. "And by the way, I for one am very happy with how tonight went."
"That reminds me, I'm going to have to confiscate the invisibility cloak," Cass said.
"Aw, come on Aunt Cass!"
"Let's be honest, what are you going to use it for?"
"Uhhh…."
"Absolutely. No. Chill," Obake said flatly.
"Is it not enough that it's cool?" Hiro asked.
"It never is," Cass sighed.
But at the very least, they were back in the café without incident a short time later.
"Seriously, how do I attract these guys?" Cass asked, taking her earrings off as she headed for her room. "It's like they have some internal radar that tells them when I go gee I haven't been on a date for a while I should change that."
"Pretty sure they don't," Tadashi offered. "Probably that was a one-time deal and I'm more concerned with you guys—" Here he rounded on Obake and Hiro. "Pulling a fast one on Krei."
"Surely you concede he deserved it," Obake said.
"I do not, and don't call me Shirley."
"Krei stole my neurotransmitter design," Hiro filled in. "He definitely deserved it."
Tadashi twitched, processing this. "Okay yeah fine I concede this point."
"Oh my goodness it's going to rain," Obake said, clutching his heart. "Or hail, even—the sky will turn green and start raining frogs."
"Okay that's enough out of you."
"He's not wrong," Hiro pointed out.
"And that's enough out of you too—bed."
"You can't make me."
As it turned out, Tadashi could.
"Now, about the Karmi problem."
"Karmi isn't even speaking to me," Hiro whined, thunking his head on a table in the corner. "How am I supposed to pass this assignment?"
"By listening to me and not your brother," Obake told him. "Now," he said, straightening a notepad and readying a pen. "I am going to teach you the art of punching up your dialogue so it sounds more pleasing to academic ears."
"Not sure this is gonna help."
"Oh trust me, there's a lot of crossover with resume writing. For example, working the cashier at a Noodle Burger doesn't sound impressive, but handling business transactions for a multi-billion-dollar company does. It's all in how you pitch it."
"Well I'd love to see how you work this—Karmi is totally ignoring me."
"Karmi has taught me about the dangers of isolation and the values of silence."
"Yelled at me?"
"How to handle adversity."
"Writes fanfiction."
"And how to broaden one's horizons in the literary world."
"Oh…kay, so maybe I'm a little convinced," Hiro said. "Maybe more if this works. How do you even learn how to do this stuff?"
"Well when you're as experienced as I am, this starts becoming second nature."
Hiro snorted. "Yeah right you're like two years older than I am maybe."
Try two decades, but again we're talking cans of worms big enough to eat the café. "So. Write down your experiences, and we'll go through them and punch them up some."
"Who are you punching?" Tadashi asked, coming over.
"My assignment," Hiro said.
"We're covering resume writing," Obake said.
"You do what?" Tadashi asked flatly.
Obake's answer was cut off by a policeman coming in. "Hey I'm looking for a…Obake Hamada and a Hiro Hamada," the guy said, checking his notepad.
"I can say with all certainty that a Obake Hamada does not live here," Obake said, arms crossed.
"Oh yes you do," Tadashi said. "What did you two do did you sneak out with the invisibility cloak?"
"Of course not, Cass still has it in her sock drawer."
"I'm concerned by the fact that you know exactly where it is."
"I should be allowed to use it," Hiro protested.
"What are you three arguing about now," Cass asked, coming over.
"I—wait, Cass?" the cop squawked.
"Diego!" Cass yelped. "Wait—when did you get back into town oh gosh—"
"Uh-oh," Tadashi noised when the two hugged.
"Hey no," Hiro protested. "I just dodged one bullet don't do this to me."
"Aunt Cass who is this?"
"Oh wait these are yours?" the cop asked her.
"Uh yeah—long story," Cass said, waving it all off. "Where have you been? When did you get back in town?"
"Recently—can I tell you over coffee?"
"Sure, sure—I make a lot here, as you can tell."
"Aunt Cass, you said you swore off dating," Hiro protested.
"When was this?" the cop asked.
"Recently."
"You hush, this is coffee between old friends," Cass said, waving them off. "Diego and I went to high school together."
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't realize these were your nephews," Diego said, tearing up the warrant.
"What was it even for, anyway?" Obake asked. "I'm actually a tad curious."
"Someone named Alister Krei—"
"Nevermind, I can get the gist."
Diego looked at Cass, indicated Obake.
"Don't worry, he's always like that," Cass said, waving him off. "So coffee later?"
"Oh it's a date," he said, walking out.
"Aunt Cass," Hiro groused.
"It's not an actual date, chill," Cass said, bustling off to serve more customers.
"Not a date that's totally a date I'm not stupid."
"You want to contest that?" Tadashi asked.
"I don't take slander from nerds."
"Well if all else fails, I still have my personal drones," Obake said. "Complete with upgrades curtesy of Krei Tech."
Hiro pointed at Obake. "It's official, he's my favorite."
"You two need better hobbies," Tadashi decided.
Cass was more than happy to see Diego again when he swung back by later in the evening.
"Awesome! Here I made quiche you can help me test it," she said, putting the pie plate on a tray and carting it over to a table with coffee waiting. "You're lucky this is a slow night because you have a lot of catching up to do mister."
"Yeah sure," Diego said, pouring the coffee as she distributed forks and plates and quiche. "So last we talked you had one nephew."
"Hiro was born a few years later, and then…well…."
"I heard, I'm sorry."
She shrugged, focused on her moment of silence (adding say hi to my sister and brother-in-law for me) before taking a sip of coffee oh that's good investing in that company from Austinbul had been a good idea.
"So that's two," Diego said. "Who's the third kid?"
"Oh—that's Obake, he's kind of…adopted," she said, shrugging. "I don't know it's not like there's paperwork."
"Right…you know you can't just adopt kids off the street right?"
"Hey I'm open to suggestions on what to do when you learn a kid had been living alone in an abandoned restaurant," she protested. "No I'm not calling services on him don't be daft."
"I didn't say anything."
"Right." A bite of quiche. "So what about you? Last I saw of you you had left and now you're back and a cop?"
"Chief of police, actually, pending a background check," he said. "Still getting it finalized, mostly we've been working on finding a decent place."
"We?"
"My daughter, Megan—she's around Hiro's age."
"Oh?" she noised, perking up—felt a faint breeze. "Hold on."
Diego looked confused when she grabbed a squirt bottle, more so when she started spraying at apparently nothing. Except for the little fact that the water did hit something and started rolling off in little rivulets.
"What did I say about drones in the house?" she demanded. "Beat it, shoo, before I get the broom after it."
Faint shape buzzed away at that threat.
"So I was just about to suggest introducing Megan to those boys but now I'm thinking twice on it," Diego said.
"Oh come on, Hiro could use more friends his age," Cass protested.
"Hiro is actually middling when it comes to my concerns."
"Tadashi's too nice to be trouble."
"Try again."
Oi. "Obake is…look, you know when there's a feral cat hanging around your dumpster and you slowly get it acclimated to people and eventually eating out of a dish in your house? We're still in the slowly acclimating phase."
"You just compared a boy to a feral cat, you realize that right?"
"I've been drawing that analogy, it's accurate," she insisted.
Diego considered this. "Well…I suppose I could bring Megan over for the meet and greet. We're not going to officially move in until the semester's over, so she finishes where she started. Saturday good?"
Cass held up a cup for him to toast. "It's a date."
Hiro had been in high spirits after school on Friday, happily reporting that Obake's wording had gotten him out of that tight spot.
"Now Karmi and I can go back to ignoring each other," Hiro announced. "Except for the part where she now thinks I have a crush on her EW."
"What gives her that impression?" Obake asked, looking up from the drone he was working on. Still couldn't believe that Cass had cottoned on to being spied on a second time.
"Because I covered for her," Hiro said. "But I also talked to Granville about the thing Tadashi mentioned, about her maybe hooking us up because Karmi doesn't have any friends?"
"And?"
"And she was cryptic and gave me the impression that she'd be taking my passing grade away if I pressed it."
"Sounds like her," Obake muttered. "But on the positive side, you get a weekend where you don't have to deal with the opposite sex."
Oh how wrong he had been.
"Come on boys, all three of you," Cass said on Saturday, ushering them into the café. "You remember Diego Cruz, right? This is his daughter Megan, you all can eat breakfast together while I work, right?"
Obake wasn't sure what was more awkward: sitting so close to a cop, or dealing with Tadashi trying to get Hiro and Megan to make small talk while Baymax offered topic suggestions. Started leaning towards the former when said cop started asking probing questions.
"I don't actually have to answer you, you know this, correct?" Obake snapped finally.
"Boy he's a charmer," Megan observed drily.
"Oh totally," Tadashi said, nodding. "We had just finally got Hiro behaving when this started."
"Hey," Hiro protested.
"So is the misbehaving a genius thing or just a boy thing?" Megan asked.
"I think it's the combo of boy genius," Tadashi reported. "You know the phrase from such smarts, such stupidity?"
"You know we don't have to sit here and take this, right?" Hiro demanded. "We could be out doing cool things instead."
"Like what?"
"…Things."
Megan reached over and tapped Hiro's arm. "My dad's a cop and sitting right there, maybe don't use suspicious ellipses while he's here."
"Finally something we can agree on," Obake muttered into his mug. Oh good grief spare him this was why he stayed in his lair all day. Briefly flirted with the fantasy of moving back in lock stock and barrel and telling him about how frustrating living with people was, just ignore me you'll never know I was here. Granted if he could sneak into his lair then he could sabotage it too which would be nice….
Actually you know what that was an idea.
"If we're quite done, we were going to test the new drone," Obake said.
"Yes totally already made those plans nice meeting you byeee," Hiro said in a rush, hopping up and dragging Obake after him.
"Still no chill," Obake told him.
"You hush Aunt Cass trying to introduce me to girls is worse than Granville assigning me to Karmi."
"How do you figure?"
"Dates," Hiro said, like the one word filled him with dread. Which, honestly, fair.
"Ever consider that you might be asexual?" Obake asked.
"Does that get me out of dating?" Hiro asked. When Obake nodded: "Then yes I am totally that go tell Aunt Cass."
"Tell her yourself," Obake said, powering up the drone and putting it into camouflage mode. "In the meantime…think we can get this to the other side of the bridge?"
"Oh we've definitely souped it up enough," Hiro said, grinning.
Good—now to see if he was as good as he remembered.