Tellion 7854 willed her eyes to slowly follow the small light that was being waved in front of her face. It had taken a few times for the native healer in the long white garment to explain to Tellion what he needed her to do. She quickly learned that the word 'light' and 'follow' meant that he wanted her to keep her vision focused on the small artificial beam he was holding. She 'followed' the movement back and forth without any trouble, which seemed to satisfy him. It was not easy for her. In fact, staying focused was proving to be very difficult. Not the least because the native Mark was beside her.
It was taking all of Tellion's concentration to not continue to glace from the edge of her field of vision at him. She couldn't shake the sensation of that moment of his mouth encasing hers. She had never known that touching lips could exist in not only the natives of this world, but in any other species. There were no memories of such an action in either her Gedd host or Tallaxia. Connecting of mouths should have seemed odd or disgusting to her, yet she couldn't shake away the faint tingling of her body's lips from that contact. Tellion kept finding herself almost instinctively raising her hands up to brush her fingers across her mouth. Each time she barely caught herself in time. And it didn't help her concentration that Mark kept holding her free hand, gently rubbing his fingers across the smooth skin of her palm while speaking his soft words to her. She didn't hate his actions at all, it was just…distracting. But distracting in a very pleasant way. All of this was just barely possible for Tellion to comprehend this new existance.
While she never truly fought in any battles, she had still been a soldier of the Yeerk Empire. And she had never known that there could ever exist anything beyond a life of fear, cruelty, and impending death. Tellion didn't think Yeerks had ever tried to be anything else than the ruthless conquering force that they were. Now she wondered why they hadn't. She now understood that there was more to life than desiring power and wielding it so cruelly. So much more.
But she didn't have any more time to dwell on those types of thoughts. Tellion had to focus on what the native healer wanted to her to do. She didn't know what else to do since she was still lost on what any of them really expected her to do. They had already done several of these 'tests' on her. They were very strange to Tellion's understanding. She was almost wishing that she had enlisted in the medical corps of the Empire instead of Kandrona Ray maintenance. At least then she would have some idea what these healers were trying to do. But she apparently succeeded in what the healer wanted to see.
Yet, with each new test she passed, he only seemed to want to do more of them. And they were quickly going from ones that were testing all of her new found senses to ones that were involving various machines. It was starting to raise concern in Tellion. She didn't know what capacity human machines had at scanning the internals of the body she was inhabiting, but she was almost certain that despite their primitive technology, at least one of those archaic machines would either detect something wrong with the brain directly or somehow see her in the scans, even though her invertebrate body shouldn't appear in any x-ray based scan. She needed to stop these 'tests', and soon. Just as she was thinking about this, the native healer turned to Mark.
"All of the signs appear good. Reaction times are spot on, she seems to have almost full use of senses and motor functions."
"So then…she's perfectly fine?" Mark asked in a voice that Tellion just couldn't quite understand yet.
"Fine would be a very broad way of answering her current state. Physically, yes she appears fine. I can't see anything wrong with Susan's cognitive abilities. She just seems to have suffered a total memory loss. But she's clearly able to learn what we're saying, surprisingly very easily."
He held up the end of the device that was emulating light and pointed at it. Tellion looked at it for a moment before understanding that he wanted her to speak. "L…light?" she croaked weakly, hoping that was correct response.
The native healer smiled at both her and Mark. "You see, she's clearly able to learn, so that's a good sign. But I'd still like to run her through at least a CAT scan to make sure that there's no permanent damage that we can't see."
"Are you sure that's necessary?" Mark asked, his voice rising slightly.
The healer pulled Mark away from her over to the far side of the room, where Tellion was sure that they thought she couldn't hear them. She didn't understand why they did that, she barely knew any of the words that they were speaking, much less how they applied to her present situation.
"Sir, I understand that you're very elated right now, so I get why you want to get these tests over with. But your wife just woke from a several month coma. She was legally…"
"I know what she was declared!" Mark growled back in an angry tone. "Maybe you didn't realize this, but I'm a doctor too. So I know full well that there's no rational explaination for why she's up and moving right now. And you know what? I don't care."
"Still, I think we need to at least keep her overnight to make sure she doesn't slip back into her prior state."
Tellion didn't know the words that they were saying to each other, but she somehow just knew that they were talking about keeping her in the healing center. That meant more 'tests'. The native healer and Mark may discover her real self through one of their scanning machines. Or worse, one of the many controllers still in the facility could find out about her. If that happened…Tellion didn't dare to think of the consequences for her, and Mark. She had only just encountered this native, and she instantly knew that she didn't want to see him infested, no that couldn't happen. All unhosted Yeerks had been in the mini-Yeerk Pool, and if the voice's words had been true, then they were all dead now and the Yeerk pool was ruined. The only Yeerks still be left in the building would be controllers, and were likely trying madly to erase any trace of their forces having been operating in the facility. And that would also likely make them very paranoid about discovery. But even still, if any of the remaining Yeerk forces were to suspect any threat of detection from her actions, then Mark would be...
Tellion couldn't let anything happen to him.
She had to act. Now!
"No!" Tellion shouted one of the few native words she knew, leaping awkwardly from the table she had been sitting on. She hobbled over to Mark, almost falling over herself as she hid behind him.
"No." Tellion whispered into his ear. "Go."
Mark turned to face her. "Susan?"
"Go." Tellion said again in a voice that she thought sounded like a plea, at least she hoped that it did.
"You…want to leave?" he asked.
Tellion guessed that 'leave' meant escaping the building and would put them both out of imminent danger. She nodded her head frantically. "Go. Leave."
Mark brushed aside a small bit of the hair that had fallen over her face, gently rubbing his fingers across the surface of her cheek, sending those familiar yet alien tingles running through her whole body. Tellion couldn't understand the reason why, but she wanted to lift her own hand and place it over his, but Mark turned back to the healer before she could do anything.
"Alright then." he told the other native. "She doesn't want to stay her anymore. So that's it. You ran your tests, and she appears fine enough to leave."
The healer looked shocked. "Sir, with all due respect, I don't think you're taking this situation rationally. We don't know what the internal condition of her brain currently is."
"She seems perfectly healthy to me. Now please go and get her things and the discharge papers." Mark told him.
The healer stared back at him, not moving on Mark's apparent request. "I'm sorry sir, I just can't allow her to leave yet. I believe that she needs to stay overnight for more tests."
Mark took a step closer to the healer, clearly displaying that he was taller than the other native. Tellion could only guess that it was a display of dominance. It was an act of protection for her. No, not really, it was for the one known as Susan. Tellion felt guilt for some reason she had yet to fully understand upon that realization.
"Alright, you listen to me." he said in a low voice. "One of two things is about to happen. You're either going to leave and come back with those discharge papers, or I'm coming back here within the hour with my attorney and we'll sue this hospital's ass off for holding my wife against her will. And given the fact that you just had a shootout in the basement, with the governor here no less, I think the last thing this place needs right now is anymore bad publicity."
The healer's face twisted into an expression that Tellion still hadn't figured out the meaning for in natives, but she believed it to be semi-hostile. There was a moment of silent friction between the healer and Mark as they both stared at each other. Just as Tellion feared that he was going to call more personnel to restrain the both of them, or directly attack Mark, he backed away slightly.
"Sir," he said in a very clear voice. "I must warn you. You're signing your wife out of this hospital against medical advice."
"And I already told you, I don't care." he countered. "I'm one of the few people here that's capable of assessing her condition. And I say that she's fine enough to leave."
"You're not a head surgeon." the healer said.
"I'm qualified enough. Now make it happen."
The healer grumbled something under his breath, then stormed out of the room. Once he was gone, Mark turned back to Tellion. He gently touched the side of her head.
"It's ok. We're getting out of here in just a little bit."
Tellion shuddered from his touch, unable to help herself from looking up at his comforting face.
"Leave?" she asked weakly.
Mark smiled, nodding his head. "Yes. We're leaving."
The joy that Tellion felt in that moment was more than she suspected Mark was capable of truly understanding. She was about to escape from her life as a soldier of the Yeerk Empire. Freedom, that precious, almost fabled dream that she had never believed was within her grasp, was finally upon her. Tellion mimicked Mark's smile, hoping that the gesture she was doing properly displayed the happiness that she was reveling in within that moment.
It must have been the right expression, because Mark's next action was to wrap his arms around Tellion and pull her tightly against him. Tellion didn't really know what she was feeling from that. The sensations running through this body that she had inhabited were similar to when Mark had placed his mouth upon hers. A little less intense, but they were still there. Tellion didn't move as he continued to envelope her, because she ultimately didn't know or understand what it was that she was feeling. These…sensations were all so strange to her. She had never known that something so, pure and good, could ever exist in all of the known cosmos. Tellion didn't know if she should lift her arms around him and return the action, look up at his face, or to try to touch her mouth to his again…
She was lost in all of these emotions, and could do nothing except stand there and let Mark hold her. They could have been standing there for a lifetime, Tellion really didn't care about the space of time, she just enjoyed it all. But the moment between them was broken when the healer returned, this time with a female healer. Tellion was afraid that this new person was a controller. But once Mark began talking to the two of them, Tellion began to have her doubts.
Ultimately, even though she was a Yeerk herself, it was almost impossible to tell a controller from an uninfested being. Unless a situation warranted the reactions one would expect from a Yeerk. And right now, Tellion was sure that every controller in the building was on edge at the prospect of not only discovery of the natives of their forces, but also the certain fury that Visser Three was bound to unleash upon them for the failure of his carefully planned operation and the loss of one of his rapidly up and coming lieutenants. The female didn't appear nervous at all, but she did make the same facial expressions that the other healer made at the idea of Mark taking her out of the building.
As Mark and the male healer began to go over a bunch of primitive thin sheets of material with a bunch of incomprehensible native writing on it, the female healer took Tellion's hand and led her into the adjacent room. Once inside, she shut the door and displayed a bunch of items to Tellion that she could only have guessed was native clothing.
She began talking to Tellion, but quickly realized that Tellion didn't have any idea what she was saying to her. It was after that the female healer slowly approached Tellion and grabbed the edges of the thin sheet she was wearing. Tellion flinched at her actions, but she quickly said words in a low and gentle tone that Tellion's tension eased. She didn't resist as the garment was pulled up and over her head, leaving her without any covering at all. Honestly, Tellion didn't really feel anything as she stood there without anything covering her new body. Neither her Gedd, nor Tallaxia had required any covering. Maybe that was because there were no real obvious differences in both species between the two genders, so garments weren't really required. In truth, Tellion would have felt perfectly fine without the garments that were placed before her, but she knew that native society wouldn't allow such an action. And she didn't know how Mark would take her doing that either.
As she tried to make sense of it all, the female healer held up the first piece of clothing and handed it to her. It was made of two semi-round bits of material with several thin pieces attached at various parts to their edges. Tellion honestly didn't have the first idea what this garment was for, or what purpose it could serve. When the female healer realized that she was just holding it without doing anything, she took the item from Tellion and walked around behind her. Tellion flinched when she felt the healer bring the garment around to the front of her and place the two clumps of material over the mounds of flesh that were on her body's chest, but the tension eased when she realized that this native female was just trying to help her. Tellion felt both of her arms being guided between bits of the straps and then the entire fabric was tightened around her chest from behind. She twisted her head as far as it could go and watched in the reflective surface of the 'mirror' as the female healer fasted several small clamps and latches that were on both ends of the two parts of the material that she pulled together. Tellion made sure to memorize how this garment was put on and compartmentalized all of the actions needed to make that happen. She was sure that she would need to know how to put such a garment on again.
Once it was securely fastened, Tellion assessed the difference of how the mounds of flesh on her chest felt without the garment as opposed to having it on. It was a little constraining, at least she thought so. But it did seem to secure those extended bits of flesh, and unless she was mistaken, it seemed to push them upward and outward slightly, making them more visible.
After that, the female healer showed Tellion a small, triangular bit of clothing that appeared similar to the first one that had been placed over her chest. Clearly, this garment was supposed to be more personal to female natives, seeing as how the healer handed Tellion the clump of clothing and clearly refused to dress her in it. Tellion just held the garment for a few moment, staring oddly at it before the healer caught her attention and started making motions with her hands.
It was a bit difficult, but Tellion followed her directions. She stretched the garment out, and first stepped a foot through one of the openings, then her other one through the adjacent opening. She then pulled it up until it snuggly encased what Tellion could only guess was the body's reproductive area. She wasn't an idiot when it came to understand the placement of such areas on biological forms. Both her Gedd and Tallaxia's 'personal' areas had been located almost directly between the part of the body where the legs and the waist were joined. She had just…never had a real need or desire to pay attention to those aspects of the bodies she had inhabited.
She had never been ordered to reproduce additional hosts in her life as a controller, and so Tellion was clueless about anything concerning the matter.
Once it was on, the stiffness in the female healer seemed to ease, and she helped to direct Tellion with how to place the rest of the garments over her slender body. There was a set of long and reasonably thick fabric that encompassed both of her legs, an almost silly thin four holed and stretchy material that she found somewhat difficult to place over her head and slip both arms through the right holes to cover her upper body. The only part of the entire process that she found satisfying was placing the padded items over both her feet. They eased the pressure on both of her feet, and she liked the comfort they brought.
After she was apparently properly dressed, the female healer helped to lead Tellion out of the small room. She stumbled a few times before exiting, this new body was still so very weak, and she was having difficulty making it do the things that she needed it to. In a small, almost forgotten part of her thoughts, Tellion wished that she could somehow find where Susan was hidden deep within this mind she had attached herself to. But it was only a passing thought as she exited the room, and saw Mark's bright and happy face at the sight of her.
Just experiencing that, Tellion forgot almost everything that she was thinking, or worrying about. She just felt herself falling into a chasm of intense sensations that radiated from her chest and spread all throughout her new body. The strength started fading from her legs again, and the female healer had to catch her from falling. In the next moment, Mark was at her side, helping to keep her from collapsing. The two of them lead her over to a primitive chair with wheels. After she had been seated, Mark rubbed her shoulder before going back to the first healer and gave him the stack of thin parchment from earlier. The male healer gave Tellion one final look, which she didn't know what it was supposed to mean, before walking out of the room.
Mark turned his attention back to her. "That's it. Ready to leave?"
Leave. Escape her miserable life in the Yeerk Empire? Of course she was.
Tellion nodded her head slightly, which was all the answer that Mark apparently needed. Giving her that captivating smile for just an instant that made Tellion's body shudder, Mark opened the door and she was rolled out. Passing through that door was like entering another world all together. There were so many natives running about, in all manner of outfits, in what Tellion could only comprehend as mass confusion. She was sure that there were some controllers among them, there had to be. But clearly none of them had the time to notice a frail, probably very sickly looking, native being rolled down the hall and away from it all. Tellion didn't dare to look at any of them, least she draw attention to herself. Rolling through that overwhelming insanity, heading towards the freedom she had always dreamt of, Tellion was at her most frightened moment.
She almost didn't dare to believe that this was happening. The mysterious voice had been right, it was all so very terrifying. But it was all worth it to gain true freedom.
It was all over before she even had time to assess everything. A pair of transparent doors automatically opened, and Tellion was rolled out into the open world.
The faint chill in the air was the very first thing that she noticed. A gust of wind blew across her skin, causing a tingling reaction all across the smooth surface of her flesh. It was so sensitive, far more than Tallaxia's had ever been. Then she inhaled the air. Fresh, crisp, clean. Nothing like the damp, thick atmosphere of the Yeerk pool. Even breathing felt like freedom. It was so wonderful.
As she became lost in the overload of all her senses that she was taken by surprise when Mark brought his strong arms around Tellion and lifted her from the wheeled chair. As she flinched from his touch, Tellion realized that he was almost carrying her to some kind of native transportation vehicle. Tellion had to suppress a sudden urge to laugh at the sight of it. A metal carcass, placed upon wheels…such a silly way to travel. Anti-gravitational repulse pads on the underside would have made more sense. Until she reminded herself how far behind Yeerk technology natives were.
Mark helped place Tellion into the seat, and was caught off guard when Tellion grasped the restraint mechanism and secured it into the latch port on the other side of the seat she was sitting on. Tellion looked up at him with a small bit of confusion. Was she not supposed to do that? Restraint harness were almost universal for any form of transportation. She had secured herself more than once on shuttles when she had been ferried back and forth from the Pool Ship to the planet side base. When she saw the look on Mark's face, Tellion realized that she shouldn't have done that. It clearly drew suspicion from him. Tellion had a fleeting moment of terror that she had somehow given herself away. And just when she was on the very cusp of gaining her precious freedom.
As she began to shrink into the seat, Mark gently shook his head and smiled at her. He closed the door to the vehicle and walked around to the other side. He got in and secured himself in his own seat. Tellion watched closely as he took some small metal object and inserted it into a small port on the wheel column in front of him. He turned it, and the engine roared to life. The sudden metallic growl of the engine caused Tellion to jump and emit a frightened yelp. Mark looked at her with concern.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
Tellion looked at him, and was though she wasn't able to understand the words, she was able to read his face and understand that he was worried about her. Tellion felt her eyes begin to feel a faint wetness in them from the understanding that there was someone that had come into her existence that actually cared for her well-being that wasn't a friend.
Mark leaned across his seat and again brushed aside the hair that had fallen across her face, making her body shudder once more from his touch. She felt herself drawn to him for reasons that she still couldn't explain, and she did begin to lean towards Mark. To do what, Tellion wasn't entirely sure, maybe touch her lips to his again.
"Are you sure you want to leave?"
Leave. Escape. Of course I want to escape this life Mark. Take me away from this horrible life that I never asked for. Tellion thought.
Against Tellion's expectations, she felt wetness begin flood her eyes and she forced herself to turn away from Mark before she lost all control of her senses and spoke to him in Gedd/Yeerk tongue. Mark's hand hovered near her head for a few passing, heart pounding moments before he retracted it. Tellion glanced from the corner of her vision and saw that Mark was looking out his own window. Before he had a chance to notice her tears, Tellion wiped them away and looked back out her window. With that final act, Mark didn't seem to pay any more attention to her actions, and the primitive vehicle began to move away from the healing center.
Tellion watched in silence as they pulled away, and was unable to help herself from breathing a faint sign of relief at the sudden understanding that she was finally free. No more Empire. No more Visser Three. No more fear of failure, and death. She was free of it all. But what was she to do with that freedom? Tellion just didn't know yet. Maybe, soon, she would find out how. But not tonight. Tonight she would just try and enjoy the jubilation that she felt from escaping the miserable existence that she had called her pathetic life.
After they had driven through some kind of barricade of vehicles and local military enforcement personnel, Tellion felt like she had suddenly been transported into an entirely new world. Mark drove them through what Tellion could only guess was the heart of the city that the Empire had based itself under. She remembered seeing the projections of it in the Visser's briefing, but nothing could ever possibly prepare Tellion for what she was experiencing as they rode through it.
She couldn't keep her jaw from dropping with absolute amazement at all of the lights, and sounds, and natives. They were everywhere. So many of them. So bright and vibrant. So full of life, and joy. Tellion just couldn't fathom that there could be such a place that existed. With the Yeerk Empire, everything was always built with militaristic efficacy, and coldness. There was no culture, no joy in anything that her people even bothered to create, there was no real life in any of it. This…was all so very alien to Tellion.
Mark didn't interrupt Tellion as she continued to let herself become immersed in everything that was a part of the native city on their journey. The trance like state that she was in only broke when they had finally left heart that was the city. Once it had all died down enough for Tellion to not be distracted by overwhelming assault of what everyday life was for the native of this world, Tellion finally allowed herself to focus her attention back to Mark.
He didn't seem to take much of a notice that she was also taking occasional glances at him from the corners of her eyesight. She watched what him, and how he operated the vehicle. She saw how he turned the wheel to make it go the way he wanted it to, also how he worked the pair of peddles by his feet to make the vehicle both accelerate and stop. Tellion was only able to grasp a vague understanding of how the machine was operated, but she thought it was a good thing to at least know the basic concept of how it worked. One could never know when any type of knowledge would prove useful in the future.
They travelled on and on, with Tellion taking in the details of the rapidly fading concrete and steel structures, replaced by the growing sight of natural vegetation. Mark was taking her through a series of very long streets with small buildings that were erected side by side for what seemed to stretch out endlessly. Tellion's attention was only caught when Mark finally slowed the vehicle down and pulled in front of one of the small dwellings. He stopped the vehicle in front of a flimsy metal shutter at the end of a concrete path that led to the dwelling and turned the engine off. Once the engine had ceased all noises, Mark turned his face at her. Tellion meekly twisted her head only just slightly to look back at him.
He was smiling at her again. It made her cheeks grow warm when he did that, and Tellion couldn't bring herself to look away from him.
"We're home." Mark said, pointing at the building.
Home. Tellion thought as she looked at the small building in front of her. What is home?
"Home?" Tellion repeated the word in a fragile voice, knowing full well that she didn't really understand its meaning.
Mark nodded his head. "Yes, it's our home."
He made some kind of sound that Tellion had never heard from him before, but it didn't seem to be either said or upset. Mark stared out the thin glass shield that covered the front of the vehicle at the dwelling. It was a look that told Tellion that he was in deep thought.
"I don't know why I'm telling you this, you don't even understand what I'm saying. I mean…it's like I'm bringing a complete stranger home with me. I shouldn't have even taken you from the hospital. All my medical training says that we should have stayed until all the tests were done."
He turned his captivating gaze back to her.
"But there was this…I don't know really know how to explain it. There was this feeling that I got, that I just had to get you out of that place. I was thinking that you were in some kind of danger, and I had to keep you safe. I mean…I'm supposed to protect you. You're my wife."
Wife. Telliong thought again. What is a wife?
Tellion only had to see at the way Mark was looking at her for Tellion to realize what that word meant to both her and Mark.
A wife…was some kind of companion to a husband. She wasn't exactly sure what the kind of bond there was supposed to exist between the two, but if Mark's interactions with her were any kind of indication of that, it had to be a very powerful connection between natives.
And that was why Tellion began to sense a faint sadness simmering in the core of the body she was in. Because despite how wonderful everything she was feeling in that moment was, Tellion also felt that there was something wrong with Mark's feelings toward her…
Before she had any more time to think of that, Mark existed the vehicle and walked around to her door and opened it. He helped Tellion unbuckle herself and climb out of the primitive vessel. Taking hold of her hands, which sent those bizarre tingles rushing through Tellion once more, Mark led her to a simple wooden door. He used some kind of small piece of metal on the little metal latch on the edge, then he pushed it inward. With only a slight tug of his hand, he led Tellion into the dwelling.
When she entered the dwelling, Tellion didn't know what to truly make of everything. The first thing that she noticed was the open space. A room as large as the command center mission briefing area that Visser Three used lay just beyond the entrance, with a large assortment of seats centered around some kind of primitive viewing screen. Tellion had seen something similar to this arrangement back at the Yeerk Pool in the area designated for recreation of the voluntary controllers. In truth, Tellion had always made sure to avoid that place as much as she could. Despite being a Yeerk, Tellion had always found the idea of a being willing to completely surrender their freedom, no matter the reason, to be somewhat disgusting.
The next thing Tellion noticed was the many garments and other miscellaneous items strewn about the room in no apparent order.
Mark made a faint grumble at the sight, which drew her attention. His cheeks had turned a light shade of red and he looked down at his feet.
"Sorry about the mess. I…haven't exactly been cleaning up after myself for a while now."
She didn't understand the words still, but Tellion sensed that Mark appeared dissatisfied with the state of the building. He didn't know it, but Tellion could sympathize with his plight. She had learned from the early part of her life to keep her living space clean and organized, least she draw the disciplinary wrath of her assigned officer. Here, in his life of apparent peace and freedom, Mark didn't have to face such discipline.
He lead her over to one of the large chairs, quickly brushing off several crumpled up clothing items and eased her into the seat. Tellion was surprised at how odd it felt at first, to have her small frame somewhat sink into the structure as whatever padding covered the chair folded to her body shape and weight. But it was so very comfortable. Especially on the meaty flesh of her lower back side. An involuntary noise came from her, one that she wasn't sure the meaning of. Apparently, it appeared to please Mark, because he smiled at her.
"Comfy?" he asked.
Tellion could only guess the word meant some form of relaxation, since it was directed at her apparent enjoyment of comfort.
"Comfy." she repeated his word, looking up at him.
Mark somehow just radiated a sort of happiness at her answer. He pulled a small leaver on the side of the chair, startling Tellion in the next moment as some hidden mechanism suddenly pushed her legs up off the floor. Mark instantly knelt beside her and said some soothing words to her, as well as gently rubbing her shoulder. It took a few moments for Tellion to feel the pounding of her heart ease slightly. It was still drumming weakly against her rib cage from his touch.
"Here." he said, handing her a small device.
He pressed a colored button at the top, and the viewing screen came to life. Tellion wasn't nearly as startled from the sudden noises coming from the device as she had been with the chair kicking up her legs, but it was enough to distract her for a moment. Mark continued to talk to her in sentences that she had yet to figure out, but she was able to identify and process how the words 'power', 'channel', and 'volume' were related to certain buttons that Mark was pressing on the device to make the adjustments to the viewing screen.
"Just sit back and enjoy yourself." Mark told her. "I'll take care of this mess."
Tellion didn't have long to wonder what those words he had said meant as Mark began to walk about the room, collecting up the various discarded items and garments and taking them out of the room. Tellion used the device, changing the viewing contents on the primitive screen, not really sure what she was looking at. Native entertainment was so…bizarre to her. But so was entertainment itself. Natives were so far behind the Empire technologically, but at least they bothered to try and make themselves happy.
She couldn't remember any time in her short life of any form of pure recreation as a soldier of the Yeerk Empire. Yeerks didn't seem to have time for such trivial things like entertainment. Again, it seemed they existed for nothing more than following orders in pursuit of conquest and enslavement. As far as Tellion knew, the only form of 'entertainment' that Yeerks were aware of in her archaic culture was the torture and grisly execution of subordinates by their superiors. Knowing that there existed no real joy or happiness among her kind made Tellion…sad for her people. It made her wonder if Yeerks that had infiltrated native society found joy in the lives they were living. She hoped so. The thought of being the only one of her kind that truly dreamed the way she did felt so terrifying to Tellion.
But that was not for her anymore, Tellion assured herself. She had made her choice. She had walked away from that life. Whatever lay before her, she was glad to finally be free of the Empire.
As she dwelled on this, Tellion noticed that Mark had come back in and was gathering up another clump of items around the room before leaving again. Tellion looked first at the images playing out on the primitive 2-dimensional screen, then at herself sitting in the chair. This was so strange to her, one who was used to constantly being ordered around and made to work gruelingly to meet allotted quotas under the fear of severe punishment, to be resting while another did work on her behalf. It was nice.
But it also bothered Tellion. She didn't feel right sitting there while Mark, who had already done so much for her in the short time she had been aware of him, worked to make the dwelling he called a 'home' satisfactory to what he thought she would approve of. No, she couldn't just sit there while he worked. It wasn't in her nature to sit back and do nothing while another worked to satisfy her.
Tellion moved the lever on the side of the chair, which caused the section that held up her legs to drop back down. Tellion rose from the chair and began to gather up the various items that were strewn about. Mark came walking back in after she had amassed a small pile in her arms. She walked over to Mark and offered the pile to him.
"Hey…" he said, looking at her offering to him. "you don't have to do that."
The only response Tellion could think of to his words was to smile. Mark responded with what Tellion hoped an expression of satisfaction. He smiled back. That made the warmth that Tellion had felt before in the core of the body she was inhabiting return to her and made her legs weak once again. Mark took the mass of garments in Tellion's hands from her.
"Come on." he said, making a gesture with his head. Tellion didn't know what it meant, but she decided to follow after him when he existed the room. She followed him to a small doorway that had a set of stairs that descended. Undeterred and curious, she stayed with his pace and followed him down the flight of stairs into a subterranean room the rested just underneath the dwelling Mark had called a 'home'. There were numerous assortments of various items that Tellion couldn't even begin to make sense of, and she didn't know if she wanted to even try in that moment. She was more focused on Mark and what he was doing. She watched him as he went over to a pair of cube like machines with openings on the tops of them. He tossed the garments into the opening at the top.
Tellion tried to document everything that he did, but Mark's actions were just too fast for her to follow. He poured some kind of liquid into the opening, then rapidly pressed a series of button on the top of the cube he was attending. A sudden, mechanical noise filled the room, causing Tellion to jump with fright at the sound. Mark was at her side in an instant, encasing her delicate frame in his powerful limbs.
"It's ok. It's ok." he kept repeating as he held her close to him.
It didn't matter that Tellion didn't know his words, because she was sure that Mark was trying to comfort her from her apparent fright at the unexpected mechanical noises. Again, she didn't know how to react from the mass of the confusing emotions that were racing all through her. She thought about pulling her arms around Mark to mimic his actions, it felt like the right thing to do, but Tellion just couldn't will herself to make her arms move.
Mark seemed to read her inability to react to his actions, and he broke his hold over her, with a bit of hesitation that Tellion noticed. He looked down at her, and his eyes made her lose her footing momentarily. He pushed her away slightly, much to Tellion's disappointment. She liked the feeling that came to her when he had his arms wrapped around her.
"I'm sorry." he said again. It was a phrase he had been saying a lot since she had first met him. Tellion really wished that she understood what his words meant, because she truly wanted to be able to respond to this.
As Mark increased the distance between them, Tellion heard the familiar sounds of water rushing through tubing. She twisted her head towards the mechanical cub, and made a face that had been natural when she had been in Tallaxia, but now had no idea how that expression seemed on her native one. The machine was some kind of washing station. They had similar machines on the pool ship to clean uniforms of Controllers that were required to wear garments, but she had little experience with those. Her job had been to clean the waste pipes…
Tellion shuddered at the unpleasant memory. That was not her life anymore. And she wasn't going back.
Just as she let that thought pass through her, Tellion's wandering eyes caught a glimpse of a strange cylinder object wedged into the far corner of the room. She didn't wait to see if going to it would upset Mark, she just felt drawn to it. Stepping in front of it, Tellion did nothing to some time as she took in the odd looking structure. She wasn't even really aware that Mark had come to her side until he spoke, which startled her momentarily.
"It's called a 'self-deprivation tank'." he spoke, sounding more like he was speaking to himself rather than her.
Not that any way he spoke to her really mattered. Trying to decipher even a few of his words had proven to be quite difficult. She was sure that it would be quite some time before they could really communicate. But, she was quickly learning how to understand what his facial expressions meant. By the reaction currently on Mark's face, he was clearly understanding that she didn't know what he was saying.
He sighed, walking over to the 'self-deprivation tank', as he called it, and lifted its lid. Tellion stepped closer and peered inside. It appeared almost hollow, with some padding on the bottom. Mark reached inside and patted his hand on the padding.
"It's supposed to be filled with water." he looked back at Tellion. "I thought…once you got out of the hospital, you could use it to mediate. Clear your head. Some of the people I talked to said it helped with people that suffered head injuries in their recovery."
When Tellion didn't respond verbally or with an expression, Mark made that weary noise and closed the cylinder. "Stupid idea I guess. But…I just needed something to give me what I needed to get through until you got better. I needed hope."
Hope. The way she heard him speak it was alien to her, but his tone, his body expressions…Tellion just instantly understood that word. She knew of hope. She had dreamt of it for almost her entire life. It was only until this night that she finally believed that hope was a real thing. And she somehow made Mark feel that wonderful sensation as well. Realizing that made the rhythm of her heart beat quicker with an unexpected shudder.
"H…ho…p…pe…" she weakly responded. Mark's eyes widened at her repeating his word.
"Do…do you understand what I'm saying?"
She didn't know exactly what kind of question Mark was asking her, but she did know that it was a question. Tellion took a hesitant step closer to him. She gently patted her chest.
"Hope." the word barely slipped from her partially opened lips. Tellion felt what she could only describe as an obstruction like feeling in her throat as she reached out a shaky hand and placed it on his chest. It was firmer than the body she was inhabiting. Much firmer. Understanding this realization made Tellion feel strange in so many ways that she couldn't understand.
And those feelings only grew more intense when Mark gently clasped his hand over her trembling hand. It made the breath seep from her lungs and her throat tighten. Mark lifted his other hand and pushed some of the hair that fallen across her cheeks behind her ear, which sent so many powerful trembles through Tellion's already feeble body. Mark really seemed to like doing that, and she also like the gesture. It made her feel…more than a simple lowly soldier.
"You have no idea how much I've hoped since that night…just to have you here again with me…"
He started to lean his face in towards hers. Was he…was he going to press his lips against hers again? Tellion so desperately wanted him to. She wanted to feel that explosive charge rush through her body again. It was the best experience that Tellion had had in her short and bitter life. Her eye lids slowly lowered as Mark drew closer, and she felt her own lips part slightly in anticipation. This life…here with Mark…was more than anything that she could have ever thought possible. It was almost like a…
"I missed you so much." Mark said, his breath tickling the sensitive skin of her mouth. "Susan."
Tellion's eyes shot open when she heard the name.
Susan.
SUSAN!
Tellion instantly pulled away from Mark and turned her back to him. But not because of anything that he did. It was what SHE had done. Tellion weakly looked around the room, for what she wasn't sure. Maybe something that could give her comfort in that moment of clarity. There was nothing to be found anywhere in that room, or in the dwelling that Tellion knew of that would do that. Because…in the essence of her true self, Tellion knew the awful, painful truth.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Tellion thought to herself. It's not really 'me' he's worried about. It's Susan. He thinks I'm his Susan. His 'wife'. Tellion thought to herself as the immense weight of guilt pressed down on her torn emotional state. It's not me that he's behaving this way for.
Tellion looked down at the hands that weren't her own, through the eyes that weren't her own, in the body that wasn't her own. This wasn't her life. This wasn't her home. And Mark was not 'her' husband. All of that was Susan's. And she had taken that away from her. She was a thief of Susan's life.
Where are you Susan? Tellion screamed, letting her mental cry rush throughout every part of the mind she was attached to. Why can't I find you? You're supposed to be here with me. I want you here with me, so I can release control over your body and you can speak to him. It's you that he thinks he's showing these feelings to. I got us out of that place, but…I need you to answer me! It's you that Mark needs to be with, he cares so much about you, more than I've ever seen a being care for another. It's you he deserves to be with. Not me. I'm just some parasite moving your body like a puppet. I just stole your life…and I need to find you…so that I can give it back to you. I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this life. I don't deserve him…
But Susan still didn't answer. She was gone. Lost somewhere deep in the core of the brain, in a place that Tellion just didn't know how to find. And it upset her so much in that moment to not be able to speak to her new host. But she just had to be there, hidden or lost somewhere in her own mind in a place that Tellion just hadn't had the time to thoroughly look through. But Tellion needed to find her. As soon as possible. She needed to give Susan her life back. It was the only right thing that she could do.
As Tellion dwelled on this, and felt her own sadness from her actions, those bitterly stinging tears of emotional pain began to seep from her eyes again and she started to have trouble with her regular breathing patterns. Before she could even process her what was happening to this body in conjunction with her own shaken emotional state, Tellion felt Mark's strong arms encase her shaking form. She tried, for only the most microscopic moment, to pull away from him in a van effort to distance herself from a being that she knew she had no right to be close to. But as his firm, yet surprisingly gentle, grip pulled her into him, Tellion lost all will to resist. She didn't know what she was thinking in those next few moments, nor did she want to. All she really did know was that she didn't want to fight the way Mark was holding her close to him.
"Hey, hey." he spoke softly into her ear as his hands moved back and forth across the edges of her shoulders. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."
Tellion dipped her head at his words, not knowing what he was saying, yet feeling the soothing tone in his voice. She almost blurted out in her native Gedd/Yeerk language to let go of her, but Tellion knew that would instantly betray what she was to him and forced her words down. She wanted to get away from him, but at the same time, she didn't. What was happening to her?
"I can't even begin to imagine how scary this has all got to be for you." Mark spoke again in his native tounge. "It's going to be a long, hard road ahead for us. But I promise I'll be there for you every step of the way."
Tellion didn't do anything after he spoke that to her. Feeling him holding her, the affection that he was displaying, the warm alien sensations it was awakening within her spirit. She just…stood there and let Mark hold her. She willingly surrendered herself to those feelings, and his touch. But none of that took away the guilt that was also lurking within her.
I'm sorry Susan…Tellion thought as a weariness came over her.
It was a fatigue unlike any that she had ever felt before in her whole existence. Not like the physical strain that came upon overuse of the host body that she was using, but in Tellion herself. She was tired. So very, very tired.
As Tellion felt her invertebrate body begin to lose control over Susan's, she collapsed in Mark's grip. Before she knew what was happening, he swung one of his arms down and scooped her up off the ground. Tellion was only vaguely aware of herself being held in his grip and him carrying her up the stairs. Her eye lids were growing heavy and she felt herself losing even more control over both Susan's body and herself in ways that she had never experienced before. She should have felt terrified by this, but somehow, being carried in Mark's arms, she wasn't.
She was barely aware of anything by the time Mark brought her to a bed somewhere and gently placed her on it. Her head was rested against a firm but soft item, which only added to her fatigue. Tellion could barely keep her eyes open as she looked up at Mark, who had sat in a chair right beside her. The last thing she saw as she felt herself drift away was him looking down on her with a caring yet concerned smile. Then her eyes finally shut and Tellion…went somewhere else.
If I die now, she thought, at least I will die happy. Tellion thought.
Tellion 'felt' herself falling, going someplace that she had never known of. It reminded her somewhat of all the times she had gone into that semi-dormant state when her Gedd host and Tallaxia had needed to sleep. Only this time, she wasn't resting on a plane of consciousness above their dream cycle, she had fallen over that edge, into something else.
Where am I? Tellion thought as she felt herself continuing to drift aimlessly, neither in gravity induced free fall, nor having herself rest upon solid ground. What is this?
It's what you've always wanted. A low, hideous voice echoed out from all around her. It's the thing all Yeerks like you witness from afar, and so desperately desire to experience, yet never, ever can. It's a dream.
A…dream? Tellion thought. Was that possible? Could she really…be dreaming?
Of course it is. The voice spoke to her. What else could it be? Congratulates, you're the first Yeerk to enter this plane of existence, at least alive, Tellion 7…8…5…4…
Hearing her 'real' name being spoken to her sent a spike of fear directly into Tellion. No one could know that name. Unless…
Who are you? Tellion said.
That doesn't really matter anymore who I am. All that really matters now is who you are, and it disgusts me to see what you've done to yourself.
What does that mean?
As she asked that question, Tellion felt herself drawn away from 'her' body. She looked at herself from afar. It was Susan's body. The body that she had now called her own. It was beautiful, she guessed. She wasn't a very good judge of native beauty. But it was enough to make Mark feel drawn to her. As she watched, Susan's body shifted away, replaced first by her old Gedd host, then Tallaxia.
So this is what you've chosen to make of yourself? You were a master of others, a conqueror of life itself. Able to bend other lifeforms to your very will, and this is what you chose to do with that gift? Cast it all aside, for what? Some pathetic, vague attempt to make yourself into something that you were never meant to be?
To Tellion's horror, she watched Tallaxia's form shift and mold down into a disgusting, vile looking slug like being. Her true form.
I was no conqueror, I was a slave master! Tellion shouted. I stole the lives of others! That's nothing to revel in. That's nothing to be proud of! I didn't want any part of that life anymore.
And now what are you? The voice said, almost mockingly to her. Do you believe yourself any better than you were as a soldier of the Yeerk Empire? YOU stole this native's life. You stole her body, her home, her 'husband'.
I didn't steal anything! Tellion countered desperately. Not intentionally. I just wanted to escape. I…didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Then why don't you do the 'noble' thing and tell that native male the truth? The voice continued. Because you know the real truth. Deep down, you know what would happen. If he were to see you, the real you, he would crush and grind you under his heel in disgust. Do you really believe anything that you do from this moment on will ever change that?
You don't know that! Tellion shouted, still not sure where this voice was coming from, only that she wanted to get away from it. Because in so many ways that she couldn't understand, the tone felt so familiar to her, almost as if she were talking to herself. But she didn't know how to find a way to escape from this place.
So this is what you've chosen to make of yourself? What a pathetic, complete waste…of my legacy…
You're what?
You'll never escape your fate, Tellion 7854. The voice mocked at her. No matter where you go. No matter how hard you try to hide yourself, or how desperately you try to lie about what you are and were meant to be, you'll never be free of your true self. Because…a part of me will ALWAYS exist inside of you. And nothing you can do will ever change that Tellion 7854. You will always be a part of my legacy.
Go away! Tellion screamed desperately.
Enjoy 'your' life Tellion. As long as you can continue to live this lie. And good luck finding Susan. I'm sure if you ever manage to, she'll be thrilled to learn of how you have stolen her life, and her husband.
No! Tellion screamed as she felt herself being pulled away from this place, and mercifully the haunting voice that was able to call out to her.
She awoke with a startled scream, sitting upright abruptly in the bed. Tellion was breathing heavily, with wetness saturating her skin. She looked about the small room wildly, almost not believing that she had really come back. Tellion weakly lifted her tiny hands and stared at them as they trembled.
What had just happened to her? Had that really been…a dream? Had she, a Yeerk, really just dreamed? Yes, she had. But it was not what she had thought it would be. It wasn't like anything that she thought it would be. It had been so terrifying. And that voice…
Tellion shuddered and pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her bent legs. What had that voice been? How had it known her name? And what did it mean by saying that she was a part of 'it's' legacy? And Susan…
So many questions, so many fears, and no real answers for any of them. Tellion felt so very confused, lost, and alone in that moment that she almost wished that she hadn't taken that fall from the container to end up in this life.
As she thought this, the door to the room open and Mark came rushing in. He was caring a steaming bowl of something in his hands which he promptly placed on a nearby piece of furniture.
"I heard you scream from downstairs. Are you ok?" he said, sitting next to her and placing his hand on the side of her face. "You're trembling. What…"
Tellion didn't let him finish. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him the way he had done to her earlier. Mark hesitated from her actions for only a moment before pulling his own arms around her. Tellion buried her face in his shoulder, ignoring everything else in the world, even Mark's own words as she desperately tried to forget what had just happened to her.
He held her close for what felt like a very long time, until Tellion felt herself calm down enough to ease her grip over him. When she pulled back, Mark looked at her with those concerned eyes.
"Are you ok?"
Tellion instinctively nodded her head, which caused Mark to give her that warm smile of his. He pulled her head closer to him and gently pressed his lips against her forehead, sending a spasm of tingles through Tellion before he weakly pulled away from her and walked over to a small part of the adjacent wall. Before Tellion could wonder what he was doing, Mark pulled back two pieces of cloth, and bright light flooded the room. Tellion shielded her eyes for a moment of pure fright. It was a fleeting moment that faded the moment Tellion realized that what she was seeing was the light of the star that this little planet orbited.
She had never seen the warm, comforting yellow hue before. It was so…she didn't have words for it, other than she felt herself feeling a sense of joy from basking in the light. Mark seemed satisfied with her actions. He walked over to the small bowl that he had placed by the door and grabbed it. He brought it to Tellion and placed it in her lap.
"Here." He said with a smile. "I thought…you might be hungry. It's been a while since you really ate anything."
Tellion looked down at the contents. It was some kind of mushy material, nothing like the nutrition and protein bars the empire supplied to her when she had been in her prior hosts. It didn't look all that appeasing. But there was something in its smell. Its aroma invaded her nostrils, flooding through her host body, and into Tellion. Her mouth began to flood with saliva the more she smelled this strange brew. Her stomach rumbled mightily, and it made her want to throw the spoon out of the substance and swallow it all down in one gulp. Still, she weakly scooped up a small portion of it and held it to her face. She was starting to lose all sense of herself as those smells continued to draw her to this substance. It was drawing her to it, almost calling her to consume it.
"I'm not that much of a cook." Mark said to her, but she barely heard him talking to her. All of her attention was focused on this meal that was right in front of her.
"But I know that this was your favorite quick meal in the morning. I thought some familiarity would help you remember."
Tellion was barely able to pull her gaze from the trembling spoon that was dangling just a few precious spaces from her mouth, which had become saturated with saliva to the point that Tellion was about to start drooling over herself. Mark almost seemed to be amused by her actions. As she looked him, Mark's smile grew wider with a sense of satisfaction.
"It's instant ginger and maple oatmeal." he told her.