How was Michael supposed to care for someone who didn't want it. It wasn't as though he could force Nikita to let him help her once she woke. If she was determined to run right back out of the safehouse and forget everything that had occurred, then that would be what happened. He could only hope that she stayed. She had stayed throughout the rest of the night. Though, that was mostly because she was dead asleep. Michael was lucky he didn't need much sleep. Besides catching a couple of hours of rest on the couch, he was able to spend the night thinking about what to do with Nikita. His best plan was to just take it one step at a time.
What else was he to do when she would fight him on everything, and the situation could change in an instant. He had to keep adapting, keep thinking, and keep showing up when she needed him. Nikita was awake when Michael checked on her in the morning. She sat groggily in his bed, attempting to make sense of her surroundings. Instead of explaining anything- that would have to come with time- he simply told her she could use his shower and wear his sweats. He'd wash her clothes for her and make her some food. She stared at him in silence before slipping off the bed and tumbling towards the bathroom. He'd consider that a win.
Unfortunately, the feeling of success didn't last long. Nikita took less time getting ready than Michael had thought. In the time it took him to strip the bed, gather her clothes as she threw them out the bathroom door, and begin the laundry, she had scrubbed off her filth, cleaned the cut on her neck, chugged one of the water bottles on the nightstand, and redressed. He wanted to intercept her before she left the bed and bath area; he still needed to tell Birkhoff she was in the safehouse. Yet, he never got the chance. The stray woman walked into the livingroom, and the startled hacker shouted, "Whoa. No. What's Amanda's demon spawn doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Nerd," Nikita mumbled. Her voice was hoarse from all her screaming the day before. The one bottle of water she drank hadn't helped anything; except, she didn't intend to drink more. She stayed away from Birkhoff and everything else, arms crossed and eyes downcast. Regardless, the hacker scurried as far from her as possible. The commotion drew Michael hurriedly into the room. He feared he would have to diffuse a dangerous situation. He didn't want to think that Nikita would instantly hurt Birkhoff, yet she had been unpredictable with him. The nerd's panicked surprise probably wouldn't have made it any better.
"Back off. You're not crushing my hand again," However, Birkhoff was far more on edge than Nikita. There was a bite of fear and warning in his voice that made her stiffen. Her arms crossed tighter over herself, and she remained as still as possible. At the sight of her standing in the middle of the spacious livingroom adorned in oversized clothing, Michael couldn't help but think how small she looked. Without the drugs or her terrible withdrawal symptoms providing her anger, the weight of what had happened to her was evident. The world had beaten her down.
"Relax. I'm only a danger to myself," She wouldn't allow her words to portray that, though, even if her voice was quiet and scratchy. It was difficult to tell if she meant to joke sardonically or not; she didn't know herself. Avoiding both men, Nikita's gaze bore into the ground. She refused to meet Michael's concerned eyes and address Birkhoff's anxiety. Not only was it too much for the morning after she violently detoxed, she also wasn't planning on sticking around for long. She just needed her cleaned clothes (she didn't have that many of them) then she'd be gone. It was clearly the best for everybody.
Crossing towards Nikita, Michael continued to attempt to help her. Getting her to eat and drink more water wouldn't happen until after the current situation was resolved. But who knew when that would've been. She had closed herself off, and Birkhoff stared at the two incredulously. The nerd could never make sense of their dynamic when they were in Division. Outside of the hellhole, however, it was even more confusing, "Are you… Mikey, why is she here and in your clothes? You're not actually stupid enough to lead Division here, are you?"
"She's not with Division anymore. They burned her, just like they burned us," Finally, Michael clarified. He glanced at Nikita, hoping she would continue the story. She didn't. He sighed. He could probably just explain for her, yet he wasn't sure how much of her story he was allowed to share. No doubt she wouldn't want him telling everybody she had relapsed; that fact should come from her. As for everything else, well, even he was still trying to wrap his head around it. Alexandra Udinov surviving the attack on her family only to wind up in the very place that tried to kill her was too horrific to be true. What kind of cruel twist of the universe was that.
Birkhoff continued to glance between Michael and Nikita, still not understanding what was occurring. For a solid moment, he believed his friend had been duped. He had always had a soft spot for her, potentially even feelings for her. She probably played off of that, feeding him lies about being dumped by Division like they had. It was all a ploy to sneak into their safehouse and alert the strike team to their position. She had been that devious with her past targets, so why not with them. Though, Nikita didn't look like she was on some kind of seduction mission. She looked incredibly ill- a fact Birkhoff couldn't help but point out, "You look like shit."
"Yet somehow I still look better than you," Nikita was quick to fire back. For a brief second, humor flashed in her gaze. And for a brief second, a smile pulled at the corners of Birkhoff's lips. It was almost like old times. There was a small moment where they could pretend they were friends again. However, just as quickly as that feeling appeared, it disappeared right back into the ether. The nerd and the stray regarded one another in contempt. Their bodies tensed, and they pulled away from one another even more.
"There's no way Amanda's lackey went rogue," Returning to his original point, Birkhoff turned to Michael. He wouldn't believe the woman that had tried to kill them in the service of Division had willingly left the hellhole. Nothing could've made her change her mind in just a few short months. She had been completely brainwashed- one hundred percent believed the rhetoric Amanda and Percy spewed. How else could she have turned on her friends and hurt them in such horrific ways. She had been sucked in deep, and there was no chance for escape.
"You escaped and took out your tracker. Can't be that hard. Nice place by the way," Lacing her response in sarcasm was easier than replying with a real answer. Besides, Nikita was serious about the place. She had remained rooted in her spot, but she let her eyes take in her surroundings. Whereas she had been crashing at an abandoned loft in the city (mostly chosen because of its many windows to gaze out of), the two rogues had a spacious cabin in the woods. The trees that were just outside the expansive windows (that were more impressive than the ones in her loft) were breathtaking. It made her feel like she could take a full breath of air.
"Birkhoff, come here," Before Birkhoff could even utter a word, Michael dragged him out of Nikita's earshot. He really should've told him about her earlier. It might not have done anything to make his friend believe the truth, but at least the nerd and the stray wouldn't have been fighting. Birkhoff could've been more understanding of Nikita's presence. Though, Michael still wouldn't tell him of her drug use and suicide attempt. Again, that was something for her to share on her own, "She escaped months ago. We ran into each other in the city, and she needed some help. I'm just making sure she's safe."
The hacker was well aware there was more to the story. Nikita's pale and thin appearance, the way she slightly shook and scratched the crook of her elbow, and the fact that she wore Michael's old clothes clued Birkhoff onto that. Maybe she really had escaped, and she had been found in a worse place than Division. That could explain Michael's lack of explanation and anxiety. Whatever it was, the hacker needed the full story immediately, "Right. Anyway, what the hell happened to make Golden Girl there escape? It doesn't make sense."
"Amanda found out I wasn't the perfect soldier she thought I was. It was either leave Division or die a gruesome death. I chose to go out on my own terms," Some of her bravado came back to her as she explained her escape. Allowing her anger for Amanda and for her own choices gave her enough drive to approach the men. However, Nikita refused to talk about Alex. Once had been more than enough. It was a type of pain that couldn't be explored over and over and over again. All she had done was hurt the girl when she should've saved her.
"What'd you do? Tell her she looked ugly in one of those dresses?" Birkhoff couldn't stop himself from scoffing in disbelief. Nikita had nearly killed her old friends. That sounded like a perfect soldier to him. Nikita matched his glare, though, struggling with whether she should raise to his taunt, share the truth, or say nothing at all. Michael thought she would settle on silence. Her voice had shown the wear of her previous screaming, and after a night of sleep she might've learned to put more stock in her stubborn silence. She used to do it as a recruit, much to his, Birkhoff's, and everyone else's annoyance.
"I saved my target's life," Yet, Nikita decided on surprising the two rogues. Chin lifted in haughty defiance, she admitted the truth- at least, a part of the truth. Birkhoff actually shut up for once. He was stunned into silence by the confession. Out of everything that could've made Amanda potentially turn on her, he hadn't expected that. Not even he nor Michael were that openly defiant in Division, and they had gone rogue. But Nikita had always been more reckless with her life than them; she had always not cared about what Amanda or Percy would do to her.
While Birkhoff finally stopped talking, Michael took his chance to convince Nikita to stay. He was aware that her slipping out of his bedroom without him near was another escape attempt. Although he wouldn't draw attention to it, he was still going to convince her that she had to eat, wait for her clothes, and heal. Taking care of herself more than likely was the bigger challenge. But if he gave her a goal in mind, then maybe she'd listen. Maybe she'd stop fighting the people who cared about her if she had some kind of hope, "And that target's in danger now. We need to focus on saving her."
"She's already dead, Michael. Give it a rest," Nikita had to fight to keep the lividity out of her voice. She didn't want to lose it in front of Birkhoff. She was still so tired and weak, and she honestly wanted to keep sleeping. Crawling back into Michael's bed was appealing. Except, she shouldn't fall for that temptation. Being surrounded by his warmth and comfort did something to her that she didn't want to explore, especially after their talk the night before. She just wanted to collect her cleaned clothes and leave. Staying any longer would cause trouble.
"You don't know that. Having Alexandra Udinov gives Oversight an edge. They're not going to let Percy or Amanda kill her. They need her. So we're going to save her, again," His words were far more determined than he felt. But with all of the uncertainties and desperation around them, continuing to protect innocents from Division was the best goal to have. Michael was certain they could eventually defeat their enemies. They just needed more resources. They needed more passion, drive, and motivation. Michael's ever growing anger for that hellhole was certainly a motivator. He had to make Percy pay for what he had done to so many people.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Bewildered, Birkhoff demanded Michael explain whatever conversation he and Nikita were having. The nerd only barely recognized the name Alexandra Udinov. He could've sworn she was a Division target or something. If that was the case, why the hell would Oversight have her. Nikita might've been able to answer that if she knew what Oversight was. She thought she had once heard Percy and Amanda talk about having to follow people's orders. But she thought that was just the government. More than likely, however, it was another corrupt group.
Michael was quick to provide clarity. As he briefly told Birkhoff about Alexandra Udinov surviving the Division attack on her family, he gave Nikita space to express her involvement. She didn't. He didn't exactly blame her. Instead, he focused on informing her about Oversight, and how the members were unknown corrupt government officials. Once she heard that, she nodded and began to leave. That was about it for her. She didn't want to learn any more harsh truths, "Have fun with your crusade. I wish you all the best. But I should probably get going."
"No, stay. We need your intel. We lost our eyes and ears in that place, and you're the only person who can help us now," It was a last ditch effort to make Nikita stay, but Michael still tried. He and Birkhoff had had a backdoor into Division's system that allowed them to gather information as they planned for their missions. However, when things went to hell and back months ago, the backdoor was destroyed. The two continued to scramble for intel. Nikita on their side could be their saving grace. She was the black ops unit's former star; she'd know how to tear that place to shreds. And if anyone deserved to set fire to that hellhole, it was her.
"That's unfortunate. But I really don't care what happens. Thanks for the clothes and everything," In all honesty, Nikita didn't know if she was telling the truth or not. She was grateful for the shower, the clean clothes, and the water. She was also grateful Michael had been honest with her about why he had to leave Division. What she wasn't sure of was if she actually didn't care about Division and the people the hellhole hurt. She cared enough to have fought for Alex twice. Yet look at where that got her. Alex was dead, and Nikita hoped she was next.
"You don't want to hurt the people who did this to you? You don't want revenge against Amanda for turning you into a monster?" Nikita only managed to turn her back on the men before Michael's words stopped her cold in her tracks. Birkhoff backed away once more, but more out of fear for his friend than himself. That crossed the line. The hacker knew it, the agent knew it, and the stray knew it. She marched back up to the rogue and shoved her face in his. She didn't have the appearance of being small anymore. She was rage itself.
Whether that rage was directed at herself, Michael, or Division was left to be seen. Nikita simply seethed, "Damaging intel only. After that, I'm gone. And you don't try to find me."