Another stress-dream woke Alex. For the past few weeks, she and the rogues had been planning how she could escape Division should anything go wrong. Nothing had happened yet, and waiting for the other shoe to drop probably had her stressing out the most. Her poor boyfriend was always so confused when she woke up with a start in his arms. She knew she needed to tell him what was going on; she was just so scared to endanger him. That morning she snapped, though, and the words came pouring out, "I haven't been honest with you, and I think it's eating me up inside. That's gonna end right now. Are you ready?"
"From the second you open your eyes, nothing but surprises. That's what I love about you, Alex," Nathan chuckled lightly. He wasn't as grave about the situation as Alex, taking some weight off her shoulders. She was going to bear her heart to Nathan, her boyfriend, the man who loved her. Yes, Division would paint a target on his back once they discovered what she had done. But they didn't know what Nathan meant to her; Sean Pierce had helped her keep him hidden. He might be able to stay safe. He could know everything about her (well, mostly everything) and he could be safe.
"Alexandra. It's Alexandra," Sitting up in bed, Alex started with telling Nathan her name. He wasn't surprised by her confession, probably because 'Alex' was a nickname of 'Alexandra'. Yet that wasn't all she had to say. Her name was only the tip of the massive iceberg that delved into a shitshow of conspiracy, violence, and revenge. She had to make certain that Nathan was ready for it all- that he wouldn't freak. He seemed sturdy at that moment, though. She could lean on him and trust him with anything. Alex took a deep breath. Unfortunately, before she could say another word, her Division phone rang. She had to answer, "Hello?"
"Alex, you need to come in immediately," Amanda ordered. Alex sighed. She knew she should've told Nathan everything sooner. She might never have a chance then. At least he was understanding about it. He promised they'd talk over dinner, when they both had time to share everything. Alex just had to take that option and pretend it was the best. She hurried to Division and was instantly met by Amanda. The young agent didn't have time to ask any questions. She was already being pushed down the hall, "We're pressed for time, so you'll go from the briefing to tactical review. Sonya will meet you in Logistics to go over your infiltration kit."
Ever since her broken arm had healed, Alex had been wondering when she'd be called for the next mission. A part of her hoped it'd have something to do with Semak. Besides planning and gathering intel (that she received more of from the rogues than Division) she hadn't made any moves against Semak. She was told there'd be missions she'd have to perform before her kill mission- something about taking out those around him so he'd be less protected. But that had never happened. She was essentially stuck in Division, clueless and lost, "Wait, Amanda. Can I ask you something first?"
"You're running point on this mission. You're being assigned a provisional agent. You two have had your differences, but trust me when I tell you there is no one else for this job," Amanda continued as though Alex had never spoken. Granted, there wasn't much time for a discussion. The young agent and a recruit (presumably Jaden) was being sent on a mission that night. Her questions had to wait for later. However, Alex couldn't help but feel like she was being completely brushed off by Amanda. She didn't want to talk to her at all. Maybe because she didn't want to address what she knew Alex was going to ask.
"Wait. I wanted to ask about Semak. I think I'm ready to infiltrate. I have a plan of attack, I have a team in mind, and I think I've more than proved myself in the field. It's time I killed him and set things right," Stopping abruptly in her tracks, Alex forced Amanda to listen to her. She had been doing everything Division told her to do for almost a year. It was time she got what she wanted in return. With all her training, and with all the skills she had picked up being a double agent, she was beyond ready for her kill mission. She had the power to strike at any time. She just needed the resources.
Amanda turned towards Alex with a soft, endearing smile. It slightly eased the young agent. She felt like she could have everything she wanted. For just a moment anyway. As soon as Amanda replied, speaking gently almost as if she was talking down to her, Alex's hopes were instantly deflated, "I don't doubt that you're ready, Alex. But Division's missions take priority. We have to save the world before we can administer justice. Don't you want a better, happier, world to live in once you get your revenge?"
Whereas Amanda continued walking down the hall, Alex hesitated. That was it. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't wait around for Division to give her what she wanted; they never would. She had to escape and take it for herself. After her briefing and tactical review, Alex was given a few hours to prepare for the overseas mission before she had to arrive at the airport. She used that time instead to text the rogues and meet them at the loft. Michael and Nikita were already there by the time she stormed in. They assumed she was going to inform them of a mission. She would in time, just after she seethed, "I'm getting out."
"What? What happened?" Michael frantically asked. Alex had been unsure if she should actually escape or not. She had planned for the worst case scenario where she had to run away to keep herself safe. Yet she didn't believe it'd come down to that. Obviously something had happened to make her change her mind. The rogues didn't believe she had been caught as the mole; her reaction would've been completely different. But something had upset her, and it was enough to make her consider revising her coveted revenge plan.
"Jaden and I were picked out of a catalog by a sociopath. Division will always put its own interests first. Fuck all the rest of us. If I'm ever going to kill Semak, I need to do it myself," Pacing around the loft, Alex huffed. She explained to the others how Amanda put the Division operation above her revenge mission. Despite her deal, she was still cast aside like every other agent. She was brokered like a sex worker- shown off to some criminal so they could infiltrate a laboratory. It was fucked up. She was supposed to have escaped that when she had saved herself from the brothel. She couldn't return to that. She couldn't return to hell.
Nikita's blood boiled. She had always despised sweetheart missions. She hated the Raven Protocol so much that it made her sick. Alex was right to compare it to sex work. They were forced on missions, expected to have sex with some of the worst people in the world. There wasn't much consent from the agents; if they didn't perform, they were killed. It was disgusting, it was dehumanizing, and it reinstated the fact that they had no choice. Alex should definitely escape. And Nikita believed she had a way to help, "We do it tonight then. We fake your death with a car accident. Your ID packet's ready to go. We can stage it on the way to the airport."
"No. We have a tight window on this mission and losing me could jeopardize that," Although Alex really didn't want to act as eye-candy that night, she knew she needed to go on that operation. It wasn't a gun-for-hire mission. It was actually sanctioned by the government. Yes, how Division went about it was dirty and deplorable. But Alex had the chance to do some good. She enjoyed helping the rogues fight corruption and save the day. She had the chance to do that herself on that mission. She could destroy the dangerous nerve toxin and end an evil man's reign. It was a great last mission for her. After all, killing evil corruption was her goal.
Bewildered, Michael and Nikita stared at Alex in surprise. She had just raged about how she needed to escape. She had just ranted about the horrible mission and the disgusting way she had been chosen for it. What did she mean she wanted to stick with it. It was a Division mission. Nothing good could come from that. Alex knew that just as much as Michael and Nikita. So what could've miraculously changed her mind. Had she suddenly gone insane. Did she have a stroke. The rogues couldn't understand it; they simply stammered, "What? But you just said…"
"Look. It's a good mission. There's this nerve toxin being sold that, if not destroyed, can be used in a terrorist attack. Jaden and I will create an explosion that'd completely incinerate the toxin. I can save some lives before I die," Interrupting, Alex explained her decision. The mission was the right thing to do, even if it involved Division. She had to destroy the toxin before it killed anyone. The rogues would've made the same choice if they were in her position. Maybe a part of what Amanda had claimed was true; saving innocent people was more important.
Nikita and Michael didn't say anything for a moment. They wanted to argue with Alex. If it involved Division, then there was nothing good about it. But she was determined to stop the nerve agent. And they were determined to help her. While Michael thought of how they could help Alex with her mission, Nikita was still thinking of ways to get her out of Division. She really shouldn't stay in that hellhole any longer. It'd burn her alive if she stayed just a second longer. Though, they could always burn her on purpose, "What if the explosion killed you too? You're supposed to blow up the toxin, right? What if we faked your death on the mission?"
"That's too risky," Shaking his head vehemently, Michael instantly argued. So many things could go wrong with that plan. The explosion could actually kill Alex. It could set off a reaction with the nerve toxin. She could get caught in the blast. Division could catch onto her. Michael had faked his death on a mission, and so had Sara. Although no one knew Sara was still alive, the method wasn't unique. Alex might get caught, then she really wouldn't be able to kill Semak. Nikita, however, was seriously considering the idea. She was lost in thought over it. He had to tear her mind away, "Nikita, that is too risky."
"So that's how you wanna do this? In the middle of an operation with Division monitoring?" Despite Michael's reservation- that maybe she should've listened to- Alex quickly found herself agreeing with Nikita. Her plan absolutely needed to be flushed out before it was implemented. But it could work far better than a car crash. An explosion left less questions for Division to sift through. There wouldn't be a body left for them to identify, and no one would doubt that she died in such a horrific blast. Her death had been faked in a fire to fool Division before. It could work again.
"Kind of makes it sweeter. If you blow up on foreign soil, Percy can't send Cleaners to sift through the rubble. You'd die a hero," Nikita continued to push for the scheme. It was the best way to 'kill' Alex. Division wouldn't be able to catch on to it. No one would look for her body. And if they sold it right, then Amanda and Percy would completely believe that she died in the explosion. The rogues would never have another chance like that one. To save Alex, as well as some innocent people, they had to 'kill' her once the mission was complete, "All we're talking about is altering the exfil. It could work."
"You sure you wanna do this?" Michael asked Alex. He and Nikita could argue back and forth for hours; even though they were together, their stubbornness would never yield. Yet it wasn't about them. Their own personal thoughts, feelings, and beliefs had to be set aside for the moment. It was Alex's life on the line. Her future and what she wanted to do with it hung in the balance. It was her call what they did next. Enough decisions had been made for her- namely by Amanda and Percy. From then on, she determined what she did next. She was in charge of her destiny, no matter how that turned out.
Alex took a second to think. She had no doubt that she wanted out of her deal with Division. Amanda and Percy were going to screw her over one way or another; it was clear to her then. But could it really all work out in her favor. Could she escape scot-free, get her revenge, and help people. Glancing at the two rogues (three, including Birkhoff who'd no doubt run tech for them) risking everything to help her, she believed she could. She was strong enough to handle it, "Division won't be able to use the toxin or me. Let's do it."