Rule 8145. Yes, we are aware that Belfast has a hip-flask of navy rum, No we are not confiscating it!.
"ADMIRAL!" came a bark, which caused Admiral Collingwood to curse his past self for taking this posting over a nice comfy frontline commission, maybe if he stayed quiet they'd think he wasn't there, that plan however immediately fell apart as his door was violently thrown open, HMS Conway, causing Collingwood to wish for a sudden Abyssal attack, preferably concentrated on the HQ building, as ship-girls went Conway was known as the British Coral Sea, only about three times worse, that was training ships for you. "Admiral I want to report a serious breach regulations and demand that the offendant is severely punished" She demanded, her face giving Collingwood flashbacks to his days in basic training, she really had mastered her drill instructor persona perfectly.
"What is the charge?" Collingwood asked half-heartedly, wondering who he was going to have to deal with today, hopefully not Vanguard, she caused him enough headaches already. Conway simply gave a shark-like smile, before slamming down a folder she'd been carrying, before opening it to reveal what looked like a really large and boring report.
"The charge is that Cruiser HMS Belfast C35, Is in the possession of an illegal Hip-flask containing, containing an illegal substance, which has been banned in the Royal Navy since the 31st of July, 1970, I hereby request that the offendant is charged and punished" Conway smirked, clearly she was enjoying this, Collingwood however simply took a deep breath, and in one fluid motion closed the folder and dumped it in the bin, not breaking eye contact with Conway the whole time.
"Conway, I am aware of the flask of Rum Belfast has, and I don't care about it for three reasons, firstly when we were having issues regarding the rum-ration with the fleet, it was discovered that Belfast was the only one who didn't require Alcoholics anonymous, but counseling for stress as a result of dealing with the shennanigans that go on around her, which she drinks to cope with as she is possibly the only sane one around here, secondly she only drinks off-duty, which dosen't affect her performance in combat in the slightest and finally, when she does drink she appears to have an alcohol tollerance which puts many hardend drinkers to shame, probably something to do with being Irish" Collingwood explained, Conway however redfaced, "So no, I am not going to have her flask and its contents confiscated as the last thing I need is a stressed out cruiser, within a thousand miles of any of Vanguards more volatile creations" he continued.
"Well if you won't do anything about it, I'll have to deal with it myself" She snarled, turning to leave only to have Collingwood catch her arm mid-action.
"Conway, I'm going to tell you this only once, do not screw with Belfast, she may only be a cruiser, but she is capable of taking on a battleship and winning, and she doesn't scare easily, and if you try to push her around, she will push back a lot harder, so drop this whole thing right now and save your self a lot of trouble" Collingwood begged, he knew exactly what was coming and after the last Belfast related shit-storm, he didn't want another.
"Pah, relax Admiral I can handle her" She snarked, before wrestling her arm free and stormed off, looking for a certain cruiser, Collingwood meanwhile simply returned to his desk, picked up the phone, and called the repair shop to inform them to expect Conway before the end of the day, before reaching under his desk to grab his emergency bottle of whisky, he was going to need it.