The rogues had a contingency plan in place incase the loft was ever compromised. It had been Nikita's idea. They'd gather as much equipment and weapons as they could, and they'd blow the place; with a second safehouse, they thankfully didn't have to stress about packing away or losing so much. Another contingency was in place incase the loft was ever compromised while the rogues were in the building. Nikita had planned that as well. There was a zipline setup to help them escape to the rooftop of the abandoned building across the street. There was no need to rush towards the exits crowded with armed agents when they could create their own.
It didn't take Nikita long to set the explosives around the loft. She was then able to focus the rest of her time on gathering weapons and supplies (and Birkhoff's precious computer shit). However, as she moved to grab what she could, someone entered the loft. She knew it was neither Birkhoff nor Michael; there was no way they had arrived from Division yet. Someone else had crept behind her. Instinctively, Nikita withdrew her weapon and whirled around. The person instinctively drew their gun as a result. But no one fired a shot. They couldn't despite all that had happened, neither Nikita nor Alex could shoot each other, "I don't want any trouble."
"Should have thought of that before you shot me," Nikita scoffed in reply to Alex. Deep down, she knew what Alex had done had saved her life. She had figured out Percy's plans in the hours since she had woken up in that fake staging ground. Division would've killed her and framed her for the attack on the CIA had Alex not gone against orders. She was grateful that she had. However, despite her assumptions about what had occurred, Nikita couldn't help but feel bitter about being shot and left to Roan. Maybe when the pain in her cracked ribs subsided and she could breathe normally again, she'd be far more forgiving. Until then, she glared.
"I was trying to save your life. If I didn't do something, we'd both be dead. I was compromised, but I'm clear now," Lifting her head high as though she was upholding her actions as the most righteous things in the world, Alex defended herself. Nikita didn't fight her. She knew what she had done. Alex honestly didn't know how to respond to that reaction. She had expected an argument. She had expected to be yelled at. But Nikita understood her. There was nothing to scream about. They could just move on like nothing had ever happened, "I just came by to get my ID packet and… And then I'm gonna go."
Nikita relaxed the grip on her gun. There had been no reason for Alex to return to the loft. She had left the rogues behind when she had shot Nikita. She also knew that the loft was compromised. When she had arrived earlier that day to doublecross Division and the rogues, she had given away the loft's position to Division. Going to the rogues' loft then was pointless; it was dangerous. She couldn't have been that desperate for a new ID. Unless, that wasn't what she really wanted. Alex's voice had faltered when she had replied. Either she was lying. Or she was frightened of what came next. Nikita preferred the former, "Alex, I'm not gonna hurt you."
"Then drop your gun," The steeliness returned to Alex's voice. She had to admit that the gentleness in Nikita's voice helped calm her nerves. A part of her had feared that the rogue would retaliate for being shot. Just like she had assumed that the rogue would yell at her. It was so odd that she didn't. Alex didn't believe she could ever act like that. She was just so angry. She was so angry of being lied to and used- of only having value if others could get something from her. She had thought the rogues would've treated her differently. But it was all the same bullshit.
"Drop yours," Nikita replied simply. She would love to not be pointing her gun at Alex. But she couldn't drop her weapon while one was still aimed at her. She also couldn't drop her weapon when a part of her believed that Alex was going to shoot her again. She was undeniably pissed at what Nikita had done. That rage in her voice when she had accused her of killing her father had rattled the rogue. Alex was so upset, and there was no coming back from that. They just had to confront the pain and hope it didn't kill them, "Let's talk about what this is really about, or what you think it's about. They told you I killed your father."
"You were just following orders, right?" Alex wouldn't drop her weapon. She tightened her grip and glared at the rogue. She had heard that excuse; she had made that excuse. It wasn't good enough; it never was. There was always a way around an order. Nothing was ever black and white. If you were willing enough, if you were strong enough, you could find a third option- you could find a way to save everybody. Nikita simply hadn't tried hard enough to save Alex's father. She didn't care enough to save the entire Udinov family.
"No. Our orders were to kill your entire family. I chose to defy those orders and get you out. It was the first time I ever took a stand against Division. I headed towards your bedroom… I didn't have a choice," Quietly, Nikita admitted. Nikolai Udinov had had a gun. He would've killed Nikita, which would've killed him and his daughter. It was either Alex's life or none of theirs, and Nikita chose the former. Maybe if she had been smarter or stronger or braver, she could've saved all three of them. Maybe if she had actually planned a rescue mission, no one would've died on Operation Pale Fire. Yet she had run on pure desire, hurting everyone.
When Nikita finally dropped her weapon, so did Alex. The young woman somewhat believed the rogue. Division wanted Nikolai Udinov dead. If Nikita hadn't killed him, someone else would've. And that someone else would've killed Alex too. Nikita had risked everything to save her. Saving her father, or even her mother too, would've been impossible. Yet, despite that understanding, Alex couldn't forgive her. Even if it was Semak's and Division's fault, Nikita had still been a part of the worst night of her life; she had been one of the people who had taken everything from her. And she had still lied to her, "Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"
"It was just never the right time. I didn't know how you'd react," That was one of the worst things Nikita had ever said. Although it was the truth, she didn't know how Alex would react to the harsh truth, that was no excuse. She should never have treated her mole like that. Her fellow rogue. Her partner. Her friend. Even if she knew that Alex would hate her once the truth was revealed, she should've trusted her with it. Lying only made things so much worse. It made the pain more unbearable. And it made the hatred more visceral.
"No. You just didn't trust me enough to handle it. So now I can't trust you," Alex called Nikita out. Again, there was nothing for the rogue to argue. She knew Alex was right, so she remained quiet for a moment. The young woman was getting to the point that she wanted Nikita to scream. She wanted her to fight her- to argue and disagree. The rogue actually listening to her and knowing how much she had fucked up made it so much harder to stay livid. How could she hate her friend when she agreed with that hatred. How could she separate from the rogue if not all of the bridges were burned between them.
"None of this was my plan. And if you hadn't insisted on helping us, I would've never used you as a mole. I wanted you to escape. All I wanted for you was to escape," Once she recovered her thoughts, Nikita replied desperately. She had never once wanted Alex in danger. From Pale Fire to her first day in Division, Nikita had only wanted to help her escape. Even when she was her mole, she wanted her gone. Alexandra Udinov had always deserved more than Nikita ever had. So why did she always end up with worse. Why couldn't she actually be free.
"You told me that I could fight for something- that I could have revenge. That's where I'm going. To get the man who ordered my father's death. I'm not running," Alex lifted her chin in defiant superiority again. When Nikita had discovered her in Division and had tried to save her from recruitment, she had said that Alex had something to live for. She had told her that fighting to live was the biggest fuck you to the people who had hurt her. Alex couldn't let them win. She had to always end up on top. And, of course, the best way to prove she was better than all those evil bastards was to kill Semak.
Blinking, Nikita stared at Alex. Hadn't she always been after Semak. Hadn't the whole reason she had stayed inside Division instead of running away was because she wanted to kill Semak. Her whole mission was to enact revenge and to never run away. Why did she feel the need to make that moment any different than her previous ones. Had Percy or Amanda said something to her when she had been trapped in Division. Had Amanda worked her sickly sweet mind control magic on her. Or was something else going on with Alex that she wasn't willing to share, "Isn't that what you've been doing this whole time?"
"I was forced to work with Division. But Amanda let me go. She deactivated my killchip. This war against Division is your obsession- yours, Michael's, and Birkhoff's," Alex argued, clarifying exactly what she had meant. Yes, she had always been trying to kill Semak. Yet she had been hindered by her partnership with Division- and with the rogues. Since that was severed, she was completely free to get what she wanted. She would be the only one making her choices. She could be happy on her own terms.
"Our obsession?" Nikita was definitely convinced that Amanda had worked some of her brainwashing magic on Alex then. Yes, there had been a time when each of the rogues- especially Michael and Nikita- had almost let their need to destroy Division consume them whole. Yet the rogues had worked together to ensure no one was alone in their war- they would always be there to support one another and bring each other out of the darkness. Amanda, though, wouldn't have seen it that way. She would've tried to convince Alex the same. And in her anger- her justifiable anger- she had let Amanda's words twist her own thoughts.
"Nikita, look at this place. All of this space, and you still sleep on a Division recruit bed. This fight is some sick need of yours. I have my own fight now," Alex was vaguely aware that the loft wasn't actually the rogues' safehouse. She thought she had heard that they actually lived somewhere else and only used the loft as a staging ground; the bed was then only used for naps or something. Yet another safehouse didn't really help the rogues' defense. They hadn't trusted Alex with that information; they had kept her at arm's length despite the fact that she was on their team. They were too obsessed with Division to see her as one of their own- to help her too.
Daring to move closer to Alex, Nikita knew she had to say something to correct all the things the young woman had been told. She deserved the truth; she deserved something straight forward; she deserved to not be manipulated. Nikita should've been doing that from the jump. But it was too late to fix the sins of her past. She just had to be better moving forward, "This was never about revenge. When I told you that you had something to live for, I was talking about balance. I was talking about making things right. If you do this, you are gonna end up somewhere you don't wanna be."
"That's my decision," Alex huffed. She didn't know why Nikita was concerned with her killing Semak then. She had been all for helping her get revenge before. There was a chance that the shitstorm they had just encountered had changed her mind. Yet Alex didn't care enough to find out. She turned her back on the rogue and began to walk out of the loft; she didn't even care about her ID packet anymore. Nikita grabbed her bicep and pulled her back. Instantly, Alex tried to shove her away, but she wasn't going anywhere. Fury washed over the young woman and she shoved with all her might, "Let me go. Nikita. Let me go!"
Honestly, a part of Alex was really glad that Nikita had held onto her. When the first few bullets went smashing through the windows, the rogue was the first to react. She yanked the young woman to the ground and pushed her to take cover. Alex's adrenaline and training kicked in after that. She crouched low behind a jut in the wall, gripping her weapon tight. Nikita did the same on the other side of the room; she also peered around her hiding spot to get a good look at their assailants. There was no surprise who it was. Division had caught up to them. And they had been ordered to kill. It was time to bail, "This way. Weapons tight. Backup won't be far behind."
Sprinting out of the room, Nikita led the charge to escape. Alex hesitated to follow- hesitated to trust- but then the Division agents began to fly through the windows. Alex raced after Nikita. The two picked off as many agents as they could as they ran to the roof. Yet it wasn't enough. Alex wondered how they were supposed to escape them all. Fortunately, Nikita had that covered. She blew the charges she had set in the loft, and the floors below them exploded. Whereas Alex was rocked by the shock, Nikita kept going. She set up a zipline, and shot it towards the building across the street. Then, she was gone.
When Nikita reached the roof of the building across the street, she turned back towards Alex. She waved for her to follow- urged for her to escape the fire and the Division agents with her. Alex just stood and stared at her for a while. She glanced at the fire around her and at where she had been, yet she didn't move. Nikita waved for her to follow again. And that was when Alex finally moved. She removed her knife and cut the zipline wire. She refused to follow the rogue to the roof- to anywhere. She could find her own way off the roof and away from the destruction. She could be on her own. Alex could survive on her own.
Although her feet moved automatically towards the First America building once she got off the roof- half-remembering that that was where she told Michael to meet her- Nikita turned towards the burning loft. She knew eventually that all her lies and secrets were going to hurt Alex. Hadn't she been warned of that when she had first decided not to tell her about the killchip. Why hadn't she listened. Why did she have to keep hurting people by making decisions for them. People could make their own decisions, even if she didn't agree with them. Like Alex's decision to go after Semak alone. Nikita shouldn't let her do that. She should go after her.
But how could Alex ever trust her again if Nikita didn't let her go. The rogue had to respect the young woman's choices; she also had to give her time and space to think. Alex had to think on her own, without the influence of Division or the rogues. Nikita trusted that she'd eventually arrive at a smart choice; Alex was capable. She simply feared that eventually would take too long, and she might get hurt in the process. Alex had been hurt enough. Nikita had lent to a lot of that hurt. The rogue should've been better- done better. Especially by Alex.
Suddenly, Nikita was ripped out of her regret-filled thoughts by a car speeding towards her. She hurriedly stopped in her tracks and backed up. Her hand readied over her weapon, prepared for the worst. She wouldn't be surprised if it was more Division agents incredibly willing and intensely excited to kill her; she wouldn't even be surprised if Kelly had arrived to kill her. The rogue stayed on guard, watching carefully as a person began to climb out of the passenger seat. She placed her hand on her weapon. But then she saw who was crossing towards her. She nearly laughed in excitement, "Michael."
As fast as her tired, sore body would allow, Nikita ran. Michael met her halfway, crossing the street in a desperate attempt to be with her. Her body acted on its own when she finally reached him. She jumped into his arms, wrapping herself completely around him, and he caught her easily. He held her tightly and peppered kisses along her temple. She simply breathed him in, so glad he had made it out of Division alive. He was beyond relieved that she had made it out alive as well. After the hours of hell where he had believed she was dead, he just wanted to hold her and kiss her forever, "You know, I am really sick of people telling me that you're dead."
Half-crying, half-chuckling in relief, Nikita tightened her limbs around Michael. He squeezed her and burned his forehead against hers. The two shouldn't have had that moment in the middle of the street. They shouldn't have clung to each other with all the strength left in their weary bodies with a burning building nearby, authorities rushing around, and Division on their tails. But the couple didn't care. They had been so close to death- to losing each other- that they needed to feel one another's heart beating against their chests and their breath rising in their lungs. The rest of the world could disappear. All Michael and Nikita needed was each other.
Fortunately, before the two were completely swept away and potentially caught by the Division agents that hadn't died in the explosion, they had someone to help ground them. Birkhoff honked the horn of the stolen car and poked his head out the window. To his credit, he had actually given Michael and Nikita an uninterrupted moment together; he knew they had needed that hug. But that moment was up, and danger was going to come for them soon. The rogues had to keep running, "As cute as this reunion is, we gotta go."
Quickly, Nikita dropped to the ground and stepped from Michael's arms. He continued to hold her hand, though. Together, they ran to the car and climbed into the backseat. Birkhoff didn't even wait for them to buckle their seatbelts. He was already tearing away from the scene, pressing down the gas pedal as hard as he could. Nikita glanced out the window as they sped away from the city. A part of her hoped to see Alex. She knew she couldn't convince her to get into the car. But she could at least know if she was alright. She could know that, although she had royally fucked up, Alex was still safe somewhere.
Yet Nikita didn't see her. Alex was long gone.