Alex glanced behind her when she reached the street. She knew she was alone. The Division agents that had swarmed the loft had been caught in the explosion, another strike team hadn't invaded the scene, and Nikita had gone in the opposite direction. Alex was left on her own to go in any way she wanted. Yet she still glanced back. She still managed to see Nikita walk the streets and run into Michael's arms. She watched the rogues reunite and relish in each other despite the chaos around them. And she watched as Nikita looked for her when Birkhoff called her and Michael to the car.
Quickly, Alex disappeared back into the chaos of the explosion. She didn't need to follow Nikita or the others. She had cut her ties with them and with Division, and she was free to make her own choices. She was going to cherish every inch of that freedom. She wasn't going to rely on others. She was going to be as self-reliant and as strong as her father had wanted her to be. She had leaned too heavily on others. She didn't need their resources or power. She could make her own. She was an Udinov, after all.
She had her target. She had her intel. She had her training. Alex simply had to find a place to lay low for a while. Once she had a base of operations, she could begin planning her assault on Semak. Despite what she had constantly been told, she knew she could do it on her own. She could kill the bastard and get justice on her own. She didn't need help. She never needed help. Unfortunately, when Alex cut through an empty alleyway, she was caught off guard. She only had herself to blame for that. She had been too lost in thought to notice the people creeping behind her. Something was jabbed into her skin, then everything went dark.
When Alex could sense light behind her closed eyelids, she fought for consciousness. She had absolutely no idea what was going on, but she did know she had to gain control. She did not just go through all of that shit just to suffer more. She was going to be the one in charge for once. She was going to hold all the information, and everyone would have to do what she said. It was all wishful thinking on her end, though. Once she managed to open her eyes, she was met with restraints and blinding light. And a voice that sounded familiar, but not familiar enough for her to place it, "Hi. Forgive the lighting. Bit arch, but necessary. For us."
"Who are you? Where am I?" Alex attempted to continue fighting. Struggling against her restraints at least helped her shake off the lingering effects of the sedative and focus on where she was. The harsh lights obscured her sight of the numerous people across from her. Although she knew they were there, she couldn't pick out any features. Under normal circumstances, she probably would've been concerned about that. But at the moment, Alex was simply annoyed. Even after all she had been through, she still couldn't be trusted with the truth. It wasn't just ridiculous, it was incredulous. She'd scream if she thought that might get her anywhere.
"You are in a very unique and precarious position. If you help us, the precarious part of the equation may be negotiated," A different person spoke that time, yet Alex didn't even attempt to figure out who. What they had said sounded eerily familiar. In fact, the whole situation seemed like something she had been in before. Racking her sedative- jumbled mind for the faint memory, Alex had the feeling that whenever she had been in that similar situation, it had been a lifetime ago. Before she was rogue, before she was a mole, before she had any sort of mission, she had been there, talking to those people- those people with too much power.
"Oversight. Look, I don't know anything," Rolling her eyes, Alex slumped in her chair. If she had known it was them from the beginning, she wouldn't have panicked so much. She had dealt with the people who ran Division before. When her identity had been first discovered, she had made a deal with the black ops group's overseers. They apparently wanted Semak dead as well- something about some business thing or whatever. So, they were going to help her achieve her goal. After what had just happened, though, Alex suspected that they had changed their minds. Their tool wasn't working out for them, so they wanted an upgrade.
"Well, sure you do. You know Michael and Nikita. As of right now, they are the number one threat to national security. They're in possession of our most volatile secrets, and they have a bone to pick with the government. We're concerned that they may release them," Oversight argued coolly. Only one person spoke, yet Alex considered every member the same. If they were faceless in the harsh light, then she wasn't going to try to distinguish between them. They were all a part of the corrupt, horrid organization, so they were all corrupt and horrid.
They also all had their priorities messed up. If Nikita, Michael, and Birkhoff had national secrets, they weren't going to release them. They had tried to stop Owen from doing that in London. And they had fought to save Ryan Fletcher when he had become an unexpected victim of a leaked secret. The rogues were a lot of things, but they weren't so cruel and careless that they'd intentionally plunge the world into chaos. If anything, they'd use those secrets to help the world, not destroy it. Alex knew at least one of the rogue's would do that without a doubt, "They won't. Nikita's probably gonna try to fix them."
"You know her better than anyone. You can help us stop her," Oversight actually offered Alex. Despite all the hell she had caused by turning on Division the first time around, they still wanted her working for them. How desperate were they that they wanted her to help them. How clueless were they about the rogues that they thought Alex was their best choice to stop them. If she wasn't so bewildered, Alex would've laughed. Oversight was so out of touch with what was actually going on. That was more likely going to lead to their downfall than the rogues.
"No. I don't care what the rogues do. And I will never help Division again, or whoever the hell you people really are," Alex bit. When Amanda had let her walk out of the bunker, that should've been the end of it. She should've been free to do as she pleased and to completely separate from the rogues' stupid war. Being drugged and kidnapped by Oversight was not a part of the deal. Didn't they know when to accept a loss. Didn't they know when to let it all go. Alex was not theirs to use anymore. She had to be set free again.
"And what if Division, as you know it, were to change?" Amanda's voice completely startled Alex. The young woman whipped around in her chair, trying to get a glance at the woman. What was she even doing there. Didn't Percy only deal with Oversight. Was there something more going on that Alex didn't know. Had Amanda only let her go, so she'd end up there. Did the woman have her own schemes in mind, and was Alex only just then figuring it out, "I warned you not to go back to Nikita. You knew Percy had the location compromised. I wish you would have listened. You were finally free."
"You told me to make my own choices," Alex shook her head, trying to clear away some of her confusion. Amanda had told her not to run back to Nikita and the rogues once she escaped Division, but what was she not telling her. What happened after Percy's failed operation and attack. What did Amanda, or Alex, have to do with Oversight. And what changes were coming to Division. Alex wanted to not care. But her intense curiosity had her hooked. She needed to know what was going on. She wanted all the answers, even if it meant staying in that room.
"They have brought you back here. Why did you seek her help?" Amanda asked simply. She looked at Alex, imploring, very interested in her response. But Alex couldn't respond for a moment. She was becoming more and more certain that going to the loft was not what brought her to that room. Amanda had always planned for her to wind up back in Oversight's clutches. The bitch was definitely scheming something, and she wanted Alex to be a part of it. Whatever it was, the young woman already refused.
Before she could voice that, however, Alex stuttered. She only wanted to focus on what Amanda wasn't telling her, but her question soon sunk deeply in. Why had Alex returned to Nikita. She hadn't. She had only wanted the fake ID the rogues had made for her. Though, she could've just grabbed that and gone. She didn't have to speak to Nikita. She didn't have to help her fight off the strike team. She didn't have to turn back to look for her. Why had Alex turned back. Again, she tried to shake away her confusion. No, she hadn't sought help. She just helped herself, "I didn't. I was just… Gathering resources. I have my own target now."
"It's still Sergei Semak? The man who runs Zetrov, the legacy your father intended for you. The man who ordered your family's death," Amanda reiterated. Alex wasn't sure why. Amanda had always known who she was fighting. There was no point in having to constantly repeat it. Unless, she had some sort of agenda to push, "This might be hard for you to believe, Alexandra, but our goals are not so far apart as they may seem. And we have all the resources you would ever need."
"I know that. You all made this pitch before. But I don't care. I don't need you. I don't need anyone," Rolling her eyes once more, Alex huffed. She didn't need Division's, Oversight's, or the rogues' resources anymore. She could cultivate her own. There was nothing they could say they'd make her work for them again. She had been used and lied to enough. Weren't they sick of using her as their tool anyway. Couldn't they find someone else to string along and torture. They had given her the chance to be free, and she was going to take it. If they tried to take it away from her again, she just might snap.
If Oversight was uneasy with her answer, Alex didn't know. And as she had said, she didn't care. She was just going to wait until they let her go again. Then she'd put that conversation and everything else completely behind her. Though, as time stretched on, Alex had the sinking suspicion that she was never going to be let go. Oversight was going to hold onto her for as long as they could. Or Amanda would so she could enact whatever plan she had in mind. Alex was trapped once more. And the only thing she could do to combat it was to fight everything they said, "What if we knew something you didn't?"
"I'll figure it out," Alex swore. Between Division's and the rogues' training, Alex could find any information she ever wanted to know. There would be no more secrets kept from her. She was going to learn everything she could and ensure she had every ounce of truth possible. Just like no one could lord their power over her again, no one could lord truth over her. Alex was going to learn it all for herself, and on her own terms. Information wasn't going to be leverage, a weapon; it was going to be freedom. It was going to be the thing that finally made her happy.
"What if it was about your mother?"
Wearing one of his t-shirts, Nikita was sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed when Michael caught up to her. He wasn't surprised to find her there. They had started to share a room as their relationship progressed. Their belongings mixed in the closet and the dresser, they each had their own bedside table, and they had actual sides of the bed they slept on (despite the occasional shower together, they continued to have separate bathrooms, but that was mostly for counter space). He also wasn't surprised to see her in his clothes; she liked to steal them, especially to sleep in. What surprised him was her silence, and the fact that she wouldn't look at him.
The rogues had spent the entire journey from the city to their safehouse catching each other up to speed. Nothing could remain a question between them. The three had to know everything about what had happened and what had gone wrong. A lot had gone wrong. They were alive, Percy's plan was ruined, and they had a decrypted black box. But the cost had been too great to see those as victories. The rogues had severely screwed up. They had to face the consequences. And hope that the consequences didn't completely ruin them.
Once the three arrived at the safehouse, Michael and Nikita took care of their injuries, and Birkhoff scanned for bugs. Alex didn't know about that safehouse, so there was a good chance that Division didn't either. But the hacker still had to doublecheck that they were clear. They couldn't suffer anymore surprises. Fortunately, there wouldn't be any more that night; the safehouse wasn't compromised. Unfortunately, with adrenaline and confusion gone, the rogues were left feeling raw and defeated. Where could they go from that point. How could they possibly defeat Division then.
They had a decrypted black box that could possibly give them answers and direction. But who could look into that damn thing then. It just sat uselessly on Birkhoff's desk, no one daring to go near it. The box was probably something to look at during the day, anyway. They could guard themselves from the secrets better after some food, rest, and a measly attempt at relaxation. The monsters held within would also appear less terrifying in the daylight. The rogues couldn't be hurt by what was in the box. But they could hurt others with it.
That was Michael's plan for the black box, anyway. He truly believed they could right the wrongs Division had created by helping the victims in the box. What had happened to his and Alex's families weren't the only two tragedies. There were tons of other families that deserved justice and truth. The rogues could provide that through the box. And maybe in the process, exposing Division secrets would lead it to fall. Birkhoff was all for that idea. They could start pulling on threads in the black box and watch as Division unraveled. It was different than how they had been doing things. But maybe that was how it could work. Things could finally change.
Nikita was the only one who didn't say anything. She just let the men speak, then she went to take a shower. Michael knew she had opinions on the matter, though. She was simply too tired to admit them, or she was too tired to start an argument. Either way, he had to get her to share what was on her mind. He decided to also take a shower and change clothes before he went to find her. That should've given her enough space. However, she still didn't seem open to talking when he caught up to her in the bedroom. He'd have to encourage her, sweetly and gently. Joining Nikita on the bed, Michael took her hand in his, "Talk to me."
Sighing, Nikita tucked herself into Michael's warm side. She ignored the protest of her ribs and just curled into her boyfriend, stealing his warmth and strength. He kissed her shoulder. She knew he wanted her to share her thoughts on poking around in the black box- especially after what just happened in the CIA. But that wasn't what was on her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about Alex and how badly she had treated her. She'd understand if the young woman never forgave her for what she had done. Nikita knew for certain that she couldn't forgive herself, "Do you think things ever reach a point that's so bad that you can't come back from?"
"You brought me back," Michael responded softly. When he had been so lost in hurt and grief and pain regarding his family and his failed attempt to kill Kasim, Nikita was the one to bring him back. She was the one to help him out of that darkness and help him believe in a brighter future. Without her (or even Birkhoff, if he was being honest) Michael didn't know where he would be. He definitely would've been lost somewhere. There was also the strong possibility that he would've been dead. Everything he had was because of Nikita (and Birkhoff). If he could be brought back from that pain and misery- that darkness- anyone could.
"You were never that far away," Nikita managed a small smile as she turned to face Michael and caressed his cheek. He had been lost in pain, but he hadn't been too far out of reach. He had been there when she had needed him- when the team had needed him. He hadn't pulled so far away that he couldn't come back to the light. Nikita, on the other hand, had. While in Division, she had reached some places that could never be returned from. How else could she describe her actions. She hadn't just hurt Alex, after all. She had hurt Michael, and Birkhoff, and everyone else she cared about because she was just so lost in the darkness.
Knowing that Michael would argue with her if she voiced her thoughts aloud, though, Nikita looked to change the subject. She wasn't in the mood to argue or talk about anything too serious. She'd rather just curl under the covers with her boyfriend and pray for a dreamless sleep. However, she already knew her prayers weren't going to be answered that night. Especially while her ribs ached and the black box waited in another room. In all honesty, that thing shouldn't have made it home with them. It was too dangerous. Someone else was going to get hurt. Or worse, "That box is gonna get us into trouble, you know."
"Well, someone has to undo what's been done," Squeezing Nikita's hand, Michael continued to state his reasoning for stealing the black box. Simply taking down Division and its leaders wasn't working as it should've. The rogues actually had to be a force for good as well. Protecting the innocent, as important and worthwhile as it was, just wasn't enough anymore. They also had to fight for them. They had to bring justice and truth to all. Even to Michael that sounded like something a cliché superhero would say. Yet it was true. Maybe the rogues really were superheroes after all.
"What we've done," Nikita muttered quietly, turning away from Michael. There was no denying the horrible things that even the rogues had done in the service of Division. All of it was written in the black box, waiting to be revealed once the rogues started to poke around. Although it was easier to forget that they were once tools of destruction for that hellhole, easier to deny their roles, they still had to face the brutal facts. They were just as monstrous as the other people they were fighting. They had destroyed families, after all. At least, Nikita had.
Tenderly, Michael cupped Nikita's chin and brought her gaze back to his. He knew what she was thinking, and he knew he had to dispel it. They couldn't change the horrible things from their pasts. No matter how hard they wished, they couldn't correct the sins they had committed. But they could repent, change for the better, and focus on fixing the future. Their pasts wouldn't control them. They had already proven they were better than that. They had escaped, fought back, and tried to bring good into the world. Nikita shouldn't weigh herself down with her past, not when she could uplift the future, "Stop thinking about the past. I'm talking about the future."
Michael smiled softly, encouragingly. But Nikita couldn't return his grin. She had tried, yet the joy wouldn't meet her eyes. There was simply too much weight on her shoulders. And it didn't all originate from her past. Yes, most of it did. She could admit that Michael was right about her thinking too much about the past. But that wasn't the only thing to fear. Looking at where they had come from and where they currently were, it was difficult to have any hope for improvement. As more secrets were revealed, especially from the black box, things were only going to get worse- so much worse, "I know. The future's what I'm worried about."