Once again we give thanks to the great Grand Admiral, Falkeno for his wonderful Belfast snippets!
Rule 9438. HMS Seraph is officially barred from entering any morgue worldwide. In addition, she is now designated as Habbakuks official cuddle buddy, make of that what you will.
If there was one thing the Britannic's hated about their jobs, it was morgue duty, and as Male Britannic strolled through the Medical centre of Scapa Flow, he wasn't a happy man, the last thing he'd wanted to be called in that morning for, was to autopsy a young sailor who had died in the night, apparently the poor kid had suffered from a fatal heart defect, but it was standard procedure to perform an autopsy; However as he entered the morgue he could swear he could hear strange noises coming from one of the draws, specifically from the draw that contained the body he was supposed to be autopsying, slowly he opened the draw with one hand, whilst holding the heaviest, bluntest object he could find in the other, he'd seen enough zombie movies to be cautious of strange noises coming from near a dead body.
"What the hell?" Britannic asked aloud, as instead of finding the living dead in the draw, he found a submarine sleeping in it, her arms wrapped around the body, practically cuddling it "Get the fuck out! have some respect for the dead" he screamed as he pulled the girl out of the draw.
"Augh, but I was comfy" The girl pouted as Britannic set her down, allowing him to get a good look at her, and seeing the pennant number P219 written on her streamlined uniform, Identified her as HMS Seraph.
"Just what the hell were you doing in there!?" Britannic asked, annoyed that Seraph had been sleeping next to the corpse, in the process breaking pretty much every regulation there was regarding the operation of a morgue.
"Eh what can I say, I like em cold" Seraph replied before dashing away, Britannic briefly considered pursuing her, but he had more pressing issues, like checking that all Seraph had been doing was cuddling the body.
A few days later, Britannic was once again in the morgue, this time waiting to autopsy the body of a woman that had come in earlier that day, and was currently engrossed in a book he'd been working through in his spare time when he was disturbed by a voice behind him.
"Ohhh yeah, I would totally do that!" Seraph remarked as she looked under the blanket covering the body, where the deceased had already been stripped of her clothes in preparation for the autopsy.
"Hey! get away from there!" Britannic shouted as he leapt towards the sub, only for Seraph to jump out of the way at the last second, before dashing out with Britannic hot on her heels, but after twenty minutes of ducking, dodging and flat out running, Seraph was able to shake the liner come hospital ship off her tail, leaving Britannic with only a sense of defeat and questions that needed answers, and fortunately for him, he knew exactly who to talk to.
"Hey Belfast, you mind me asking you something?" Britannic asked, prompting a sigh from the cruiser in question.
"Sure what's the matter?" Belfast replied, most of the time she got asked things, they were either trivial, annoying, or both, but she neither the less tried to answer them.
"I've been having trouble in the morgue, for some reason, Seraph keeps coming in an messing around with the bodies, first time I found her, she was cuddling one of them!" Britannic explained, prompting a concerned look from the cruiser.
"Wait, did you just say seraph?" Belfast asked, receiving a nod from Britannic, "Ahh, of course, it's her, guess Mincemeat had an effect of her" She pondered, getting a confused look from Britannic, "Oh, you've never heard of Operation Mincemeat, let me explain; Operation Mincemeat was a deception mission prior to the invasion of Sicily, what happened was British intelligence commandeered the corpse of a dead Welsh tramp, gave him an entirely new identity as a Royal Marines Major, complete with fictitious love letters and other 'wallet litter', then handcuffed it to a briefcase, with equally well crafted fake documents, then dumped the whole lot off of the coast of Spain, and let German intelligence get ahold of them, and they swallowed the whole thing and pulled most of their units out of Sicily and stuck them in Greece, where the documents said there was going to be a landing instead" Belfast explained.
"Wow, that's an impressive story, but how does Seraph fit in?" Britannic asked, from the story he hadn't heard any mention of the troublesome submarine, Belfast however was able to elaborate.
"Well, when they were dumping the body, they had to use a submarine, which do you think they used?" Belfast replied, prompting a sigh from Britannic.
"Ah, now I get you, now I know what she meant by 'liking them cold', but how do we stop her" Britannic queried, Prompting Belfast to think, and as an Idea formed in her mind, she couldn't help but smile.
"I have an idea, but we're going to need some help" Belfast explained as she got up to head to the destroyers dorm, "Just meet me in twenty minutes in the carrier dorm" She added as she left, Belfast had two candidates to enlist.
Seraph was minding her own business as she strolled through Scapa Flow, right up until she found two pairs of arms seizing her from either side, finding them belonging to Cavalier and Rapid respectively, but before she could ask them what they were doing, she found cavalier shoving a bag on her head, briefly she considered struggling, but with two shipgirls of a heavier tonnage and higher speed, she decided against it, and so let the pair carry her to where ever they were going, hopefully a chance for escape would present itself later, finally she felt them stop and put her down, followed by the bag being removed, revealing an annoyed looking Britannic, and more alarmingly a smirking Belfast.
"So Britannic's been telling me you've been sneaking into the morgue and messing with the bodies" Belfast noted, only to cut off Seraph before she could reply, "he also mentioned that you 'like em cold' well let's see how cold you like em" she added before reaching over and knocking on a door Seraph hadn't noticed before, prompting the sound of heavy footsteps from within as whoever or whatever was inside moved towards the door, "Hey Habakkuk, here's a present for you" Belfast announced as she grabbed Seraph and threw her into Habakkuk's waiting arms.
"Ohh, comfy" Habakkuk noted as she squeezed Seraph, who tried to wriggle free, only to feel the cold from Habakkuk and stop.
"Mmh, Cold" Seraph purred as she got comfortable in Habakkuk's arms, as she carried her back into her room, shutting the door behind her, leaving Britannic slightly concerned.
"Erm, was that supposed to happen?" Brittanic asked as Cavalier and Rapid slinked away, they're job over and bags of candy waiting for them in their rooms, as payment for their help.
"Eh, at least she'll be out of your hair" Belfast replied as she turned to leave, not mentioning that this wasn't what she had planned entirely.