Memoirs of the Holy War

by Naryfiel Lilith

It was a war that spanned across two generations. It was a war that tore Jugdral to pieces. It was a war between those who only did what they thought was right. It was a war manipulated by those who had suffered too much. It was a war filled with tragic mistakes and crippling hope. It was a war immortalized by the survivors, and this is their tale. (FE4 Novelization)

9. Chapter 6) Shadows

Chapter 6) Shadows

---

Well, there it is. My biggest secret was revealed. Strangely, though, most do not ask questions. I don't know why; I know they have them. I can see it every time their gazes fall to my bandaged-covered mark. I can hear it in the whispers they think I cannot hear behind my back. But no one asks, and unlike with Sigurd, I do not feel like telling them anyway. So, I keep silent. It's better this way. I can pretend it will all go away eventually, even though I know it won't. Gossip spreads quickly and, worse, everyone has changed what they call me. It is no longer 'Miss Alicia', but 'Lady Alicia'.

Sometimes, I wonder if things might have ended differently if I'd remained hidden.

---

A few days after the fires, and after Prince Jamke joined us officially, Sigurd and Prince Quan sat down with him in Sigurd's office to discuss everything which led up to the attacks on Yngvi. For some reason, this coincided with my morning talks with Sigurd. For another strange reason, Prince Quan did not ask for me to leave. In fact, when I tried, he insisted I stay. He must be taking revenge for successfully tricking him the other day. I could think of no other reason why he would have me awkwardly remain. It was not as if I had anything to contribute. Truthfully, all I could do was make tea.

"I am pleased to hear repairs are going well," Prince Jamke commented as he accepted a tea cup and pot from me. He gave me an odd look, no doubt wondering why I was here, but he didn't say anything. I wasn't certain if I was grateful or not. Embarrassing as it would be, it would also provide a convenient excuse to escape. "And what of the injured? I heard your squire was one of the worst off?"

"Finn is recovering quite well, alongside the others," Prince Quan answered with a smile, accepting his own tea and pot from me. The three men were sitting around a small table, and while a fourth chair was provided for me to join them, I did not. I dared not. I knew well how little I belonged. "In fact, Lady Alicia here cleared him just this morning for light duty." I could only hope Mister Finn listened on the 'light' part. I would check with Sir Alec later.

"Already?" Prince Jamke looked quite surprised, and glanced to me as I gave Sigurd his tea. Sigurd, at least, smiled apologetically, no doubt wondering why Prince Quan would insist as well. It made me feel better. "Burns usually take much longer to heal. How was he...?"

"Magic."

"You can just say you do not... oh, wait, no, Grannvale does have ready access to magic." Prince Jamke made a face. "I forget that. Magic is rare here in Verdane." Yes, only their very few churches had any sort of magic user, and even then, it was only staves. Their knowledge on medicinal herbs, though, was beyond phenomenal. I could study their books for years and years and never be bored. "It stands to reason your Chief Healer is particularly skilled with it." I really wasn't. I simply... had magic and fire in my blood. That was all.

"Yes, it is quite our luck she joined us in Yngvi!" Prince Quan grinned, mischief evident in his expression. Sigurd ignored him for the tea, while Prince Jamke looked skeptically between him and Prince Quan. "Yes, Sigurd is the leader of the army. However, I'm the one who insisted on questioning. Sigurd was inclined to wait until everything was settled."

"Is this why the interrogation is only happening now, instead of a few days ago?"

"It's questioning. I highly doubt an interrogation would have such lovely tea, for one thing."

"Nor would it usually take place in an office, with such comfortable chairs." Prince Jamke nodded pointedly at the windows, with bright light streaming it, hinting a proper interrogation would not be so well-lit. I tried to think of why two princes would have so much experience with interrogations and decided I didn't want to know. "But I digress. Since you are the one spearheading this, you are the one speaking while Sigurd is inclined to simply let me ramble." More than that, Sigurd was content to simply drink the tea I made. I set up extra teacups on the table between them, mostly to have something to do. "Well, if this is a questioning, shall I take a guess on what the main question is?"

"I can give you three tries first, if you'd like." Prince Quan settled back in his chair, somehow appearing both dignified and like a child playing a prank. "Would you?"

"No, no, it's better to get this conversation over with." In contrast, Prince Jamke sagged in his chair, noticeably tired. "I will not lie. For quite some time, my brothers had wished to attack Grannvale. They'd long disliked how they felt the rest of the continent looked down on us for not being of Crusader descent." He spoke clearly and smoothly, with only the slightest stumbling over the tenses. He had practiced this, hadn't he? "My father, however, overruled them each time, and they yielded to him. Regardless of their thoughts, they did respect him. Probably the only thing the three of us agreed on."

"So, this means the attack was, in fact, sanctioned by King Batu?" Prince Quan's eyes hardened, and Sigurd winced. Even I knew this knowledge would greatly hurt any chances of Verdane getting off lightly. "What changed his mind?"

"It's been..." Prince Jamke paused to sip his tea. His faint smile hinted he liked it, and I was glad to see it. I worried he might not, since I'd originally tailored this tea recipe for Zaya. "It all began when an assassin almost killed my father while he was out making rounds in the castle city. He was, miraculously, saved by a stranger: Sandima."

"Well, that's terribly convenient."

"It was." Prince Jamke's voice went dry. "Even more convenient was the supposed source of the assassins: Grannvale."

"Really now?" Prince Quan raised a brow before looking at Sigurd, who in contrast to both Prince Quan's dignified mischief and Prince Jamke's tired nobility, just seemed calm and peaceful. I could only hope I appeared similar and did not let my inner thoughts show. "Which houses specialize in assassinations again?"

"Velthomer, Friege, Dozel, and the royal house of Belhalla," Sigurd rattled off with a sigh. He made to sip his tea, but found it empty, so he poured himself a fresh cup. I checked his pot to make sure it had enough, since he'd been drinking it regularly. "I can't think of why any would target Verdane. The peace treaty was only to our benefit."

"...House Yngvi does not have assassins?" Prince Jamke asked slowly, looking almost confused. It was 'almost' because there was some sort of other emotion lingering within. "The assassin was supposedly from them."

"No, Yngvi has no need for assassins. Their snipers suffice for such tactics, though they favor the mobility of their mounted units for most battles." Sigurd shrugged. "I also can't think of an assassin who would let themselves be connected to their employers. I may have no head for this sort of thing, but that seems very basic."

"Sandima claimed to have intercepted a message or... something." Prince Jamke rolled his eyes, and now I placed the emotion, if one could call it such. He had already known it was suspicious and false, but now he had another reason to call it such. Perhaps 'resignation' was most accurate? "I can't remember. But the rest bought it, and shortly afterwards, we began hearing rumors of how Grannvale was preparing an assault on Verdane."

"This would be the first I've heard of it, if so." Sigurd sipped more of his tea and looked at Prince Quan, who also happily drank his tea. I was glad he seemed to enjoy it. I still wasn't quite certain about this mix for him. "Have you heard anything, my friend? Merchants certainly love bringing gossip across Aed."

"Nothing at all, and we both know Eldigan would've questioned you immediately if he had heard," Prince Quan answered easily. He set his mug down, simultaneously smug and not. "That he did not implies the rumors were only in Verdane and never crossed the border. Strange." What was stranger was how Khasar and the others never mentioned these supposed rumors. Had they dismissed them as unimportant, or had the rumors conveniently been heard only in certain circles?

"Indeed, and worse, I could never get confirmation on where the rumors were coming from," Prince Jamke growled, pressing a fist into the table. I hoped he wouldn't punch it; he'd bruise his knuckles. "The previous lord of Evans, Subutai, had tried to investigate, but the plague took him before he made any progress. The plague also made it difficult to send messengers. So, eventually..." Prince Jamke breathed out slowly and leaned back in his chair. "Eventually, Father gave in. It was better for us to get the first strike and try to utilize hostages to force negotiations. You know the story from there. My brothers took it too far and apparently gained the ire of someone who can retake castles while severely outnumbered."

"And the one person in Jugdral willing to launch a campaign with such few numbers to do what he believes is right." Prince Quan's words were immediate, dry, and exasperated. Sigurd, for his part, tried to ignore them; the faint blush belied the attempt. "And take in the royal family of an enemy nation while he was at it. No, Sigurd, I'm not letting that one go for a while, and neither will Eldigan when he gets my letter about it."

"Wait, that rumor was true?" Oh, so that rumor had spread even among the Verdanites? I was surprised he didn't believe it, given how he believed the others.

"You likely have seen little Shannan walking about with my squire, Finn, or Sigurd's squire, Oifeye. He's the current crown prince of Isaach. And his aunt, Princess Ayra, has been practicing with the soldiers to regain her strength, so you may have seen her if you walked near the training yards."

"..." Prince Jamke just stared at Sigurd, who shrugged helplessly and drank his tea. "You are crazy. Plain and simple."

"He needed help," I protested, speaking without thinking. Prince Jamke turned his incredulous look to me, but I busied myself with checking their teas. If I had known this was going to happen, I would have arranged for some sort of snack for them. Could I use that as an excuse to escape? "He was in such a horrible state, as was Lady Ayra. Both needed sanctuary if they were to heal."

"No wonder you all helped my people," Prince Jamke deadpanned with a sigh. It felt like an odd statement, so I found myself frowning slightly. "Aren't there rules of warfare or something?"

"Wars are for warriors. I am a healer, Prince Jamke."

"He's not." Prince Jamke pointed to Sigurd. "He's very not."

"No, but Sigurd has always been the knight saving everyone," Prince Quan laughed, relaxing fully. Sigurd scowled at him, which only made Prince Quan laugh more. "Prince Jamke, I advise you to simply assume Sigurd will always do what he thinks is right, damn the consequences. Even if it ignores common sense." He looked up at me with a smile. "Also, this tea is very good. Not sure why each of us gets our own pot of it, though, even if I'm grateful for the plentiful supply. Truthfully, I'm surprised Sigurd is drinking something with so many spices." Well, that was because...

"I'm not?" Sigurd answered slowly, tilting his head. He held out his teacup to Prince Quan for him to take a sip. "See? I doubt I could handle a tea that satisfies your love of spices."

"And I can't figure out how you can stand a tea so mild. It's practically water." Prince Quan passed the teacup back to Sigurd and used one of the spare ones on the table to steal tea from Prince Jamke's pot. "And this one... wait, is this salt?!"

"I've been wondering why you two weren't reacting to the salt," Prince Jamke commented, biting back a laugh. He happily reclaimed his tea, smiling. "Foreigners never seem to like it."

"One of my patients requested it after some medicine, and told me it was a traditional drink here," I explained with a shrug. It had taken quite a lot of trial and error to make it. "I thought you might prefer it. Sigurd's mix is one I made up for him, as is Prince Quan's. That is why there are three pots."

"That's kind of you." Prince Jamke focused on me; it let me ignore Prince Quan's startled look. "Do you have a mix for everyone, Lady Alicia?"

"No, I do not. It started as simply gifts for my brothers." It was so strange speaking of Arvis and Azelle so openly. "I made some for Azelle's best friends, and then Sigurd and Lady Ethlyn. Prince Quan's is a work in progress, I fear." I made sure to smile. "I am glad everyone seems to like their teas. Should I make another pot?"

"...Please." He watched me as I worked, probably to ensure I did not add anything strange. I pretended to not notice and just focused on the mixtures before returning their pots to them. "Lady Alicia?"

"Yes?" What was it? Did he want more salt? Less? Less would be more difficult at this stage, but if I add more water and tea, then perhaps...

"Is it possible for you to bring your medicines with us when we march?" That... was not a request I expected. I even glanced at Sigurd to see if I had heard correctly, but his own little frown hinted I had. More to the point, Prince Jamke's eyes were solemn and serious. "Whatever can be spared? I do not..." He looked down at his cup, gripping the handle so tightly ripples appeared in the tea. "I do not know what Sandima has done in my absence. I fear it even."

"...I see." He did not ask in anticipation for battle. He asked because he feared, and perhaps even expected, Sandima to have harmed the servants and soldiers left behind. "I believe so, but in this case, might I beg leave. I would like to go through the inventory as soon as possible."

Sigurd, thankfully, gave me permission, though Prince Quan looked almost disappointed he could no longer keep me trapped. So, with a polite smile, I stepped out of the room and closed the door. Then I checked the surrounding area before breathing a small sigh of relief. That had been... terribly awkward. The worst part was I did not like Prince Jamke. I could not like him. I hated he had set us aflame. I hated how he was part of why my secret was no longer secret. I hated how his flames had hurt so many. I hated how he had simply acted on rumors, and had not talked to his people. Part of me squirmed at how selfish and hypocritical it no doubt was, but I could not stop my feelings. I could only hide them, as best as I could. It would be improper if anyone were aware.

So, I took one more moment for myself, to even my nerves, and then walked down the hall to return to the infirmary. Technically speaking, I should not be alone, but with Prince Jamke on our side, my need of an escort was not enforced as strictly as it had been before. Besides, given how many soldiers we had, it was rare for the halls to remain empty for long.

"Alicia!" Take now, for instance. I only had to walk past three doors before Lord Lex rushed over to greet me. "Hey, sorry, but we had a few soldiers get a little too overzealous with their training," he explained, grinning. He looked flushed and maybe more than a little elated, like a little boy. I wondered if he pulled a prank. Azelle's letters hinted he liked them. "Well, maybe a lot."

"I take it the circumstances were amusing, Lord Lex?" I asked, already thinking of what I would need. Those thoughts paused, though, when he started sulking. "What is it?"

"Everyone knows now. So your original reason for refusing no longer applies." What was he...? Oh, wait, I knew now. He had requested I drop the title with him near the beginning of all this. "Come on. It's just weird hearing it from you."

"Should you not be used to it by now?" The only reply was more of a sulk. "Oh, goodness, you win, Lex." I had other things to worry about, and agreeing was a much more efficient use of my time and stamina.

"I usually do." He immediately went back to the grin; I could only shake my head with a slight smile. "And the circumstances are hilarious, yes. Here, I'll explain as we walk. To start with, this was not my fault. I was just the audience."

I had to have Lo... Lex repeat the explanation three times to make any sense of the mess. How the soldiers ended up slipping in mud all the way down the hill was certainly beyond me. I would tell Sigurd in the morning; perhaps he would make more sense of it.

---

I truly needed to learn how everyone sent messages so quickly. A day after the fires, I asked Sigurd if I could send Arvis a letter. Truthfully, it was only two words: 'I'm sorry'. Azelle had paired it with his own letter, though I did not know what he wrote. Sigurd had sent them out the very day, and somehow, not only had they already reached Arvis, but he had written a reply. ...Well, I at least knew how the reply had gotten here so quickly. One of Arvis's personal falcons had scared the daylights out of the messengers and soldiers. Why and how Arvis trained it to fly in through windows and down through halls to find the intended recipient, I did not know. I did not know how they were trained to find their recipients to begin with. But it flew straight for me, in my workshop, and I had to keep it from disturbing my medicines and mending. Then I had to find Azelle to give him Arvis's reply to his letter. Thankfully, Azelle had taken the falcon from there, so I could return to my workshop and read the letter while pretending to be studying.

'There is nothing to apologize for, Alicia. You did nothing wrong.' So, he disregarded the usual greeting to strike at the heart of the issue. I wasn't surprised; he knew how terrifying this was for me. We had debated it many times, over the years. 'From what I heard, the mark was revealed after you took an injury protecting a baby. Who could possibly be angry about that?' Ah, if he knew this, then Azelle must have written about everything that happened that day. He truly did keep few things secret from Arvis. 'If anything, I am happy. I can finally brag about how wonderful my little sister is!'

"Oh, you'd better not," I muttered to myself, even as I smiled and shook my head. This sort of thing was... just like him. "You're being purposely silly..."

'Did that get you to smile? I hope so. I'm certain you have spent far too much time fretting over this.' He was ridiculous, plain and simple. 'I know how much this has weighed on you. I remember how you had cried when we first met, overwhelmed by everything. I remember how even then, you had thought yourself a nuisance.' That was right, I had. It had been the harvest festival, and I had forgotten to wrap my arm before heading to the market to look at the herbs on sale. He had happened to be near, visiting Duke Ring about some policy he wanted to implement, and had seen the Mark when someone accidentally bumped me. He then chased after me when I'd run in fright. That had been the first time anyone had ever hugged me. 'But I will tell you again what I told you then. You are never, and will never be, a nuisance to me. I have never been ashamed of you. In fact, I have always been proud of you. All will be well. Just focus on coming home, safe and sound.'

It was a simple letter, all things considered. I had no doubts he wished he wrote more, but this had been written with some haste. I could tell by how a few words were scratched out. But he had wanted to be certain this reached me as soon as possible. I'd likely receive a much longer later once everything was settled. That was just how he was. What would the future hold, though? The thought was uneasy. Hiding in Yngvi may not work anymore. So, what would I...?

The sound of someone running down the hall barely caught my ear, and I looked up just in time to see Mister Dew swing inside. He was flushed, breathless, and for some strange reason, he shut the door behind him. Considering I rarely, if ever, shut the door of my workshop, this was more than a little odd and more immediately important than vague worries of the future.

"Mister Dew?" I called, wondering what had happened. He turned towards me with a giant grin, leaning against the closed door. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really," he reassured, waving his hands about. He remained firmly by the door. "I'm hiding from Jamke. Says I should be more responsible, since I'm with the army and all."

"Have you not told him you're my helper?"

"Oh, I did." Mister Dew paused for a second. "But I kinda pulled a prank."

"Did you?" I had to smile a little. "What kind? Do I need to find bandages?"

"I don't think so?" Mister Dew flashed a grin. "But Jamke is on laundry duty today. He insisted on joining the duty roster. And it kinda made a mess. The prank, I mean." There was another pause. "A big mess. Particularly of their clothes."

"Ah, so he intends to have you help him since you contributed to said mess." That was not the same thing as 'be more responsible'. Ah, but I knew exactly who I would side with in this situation, terrible as it was. "Is it not a shame, then, that I am in need of my little helper?"

"I'm not little!" He sulked for all of two seconds before snickering. "But yeah, I figured you'd have something for me to do and-" He was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Oh, drat. He figured out my plan." I had little doubts it was because, again, I never had my workshop door shut. Even he would know this by now. Still, there was no need to point it out.

"Head to the storeroom and count how many antidotes we have." Mister Dew still did not know how to read or write yet, but... "They should be in the blue ceramic jars in the back right corner, marked with two stars." But, thankfully, my childish tendency to label things with stars helped Mister Dew know where most everything was anyway. "Their smell is sharp, like pine needles."

"And if it's not, tell you immediately." There was another knock. "Hiding!"

I waited for Mister Dew to duck fully into the storeroom and marked my place in my book to better pretend I had been studying. Then I stood up and headed to the door, just in time to head off a third attempt of knocking. In fact, Prince Jamke almost 'knocked' on my face.

"My pardon, Lady Alicia," he greeted very politely. It was almost polite enough to pretend he had any sort of dignity as muddy and soaked as he was. It appeared he had been a victim of Mister Dew's prank as well. "But I am looking for Dew."

"I fear he is in the middle of something for me," I answered after a moment, pretending to be thinking. This was so awful of me; it truly was. "I needed another's eyes on the inventory, to see how much could be spared when we marched."

"Well, that's convenient."

"Hmm?" I tilted my head, as if confused, and was rewarded by his exasperated sigh. "Ah, let me fetch you a towel and some medicine. You're forming a puddle." He was, a very muddy one at that. Just what sort of prank did Mister Dew pull?

"Why medicine?"

"Do you want to risk catching a cold?" I waited for him to reluctantly shake his head. "Then it is better to take some preventatives. It shan't take long."

"Will these be bitter?"

"No, I do not think so." Now, I could give him bitter ones if I wanted, but I refused to be so childish. I may not like him, but I did not want him to suffer. Besides, if he threw them up due to it being too bitter, that was just a waste. "One moment."

As I predicted, neither took long. Prince Jamke barely had time to wipe off the worst of the mud and water before I handed him the medicines, and I sent him off with the towel so he no longer stood awkwardly in my doorway. When I went to fetch another towel, though, to clean the puddle he left behind, small hands took it from me and I looked down to see a grinning Mister Dew.

"In my defense, he was definitely not there when I started the prank," he 'explained', as pleased as a cat. Still, he went to wipe the puddle for me. "It hit more than it should've. I think a bunch showed up."

"Is that so?" I asked, barely keeping the dryness out of my voice. I did feel another smile twitch onto my face, and hoped it was at least a proper one. "If we have an influx of colds, you will be helping me with each of them." Mister Dew's response was to laugh. "I hope no one slips either, but that will be a worry for later. Do you have a number for me?"

Days like this... were not bad at all.

---

Soon, it was announced we would march for Verdane's castle. There was some debate on just how many should go, and surprisingly, Prince Jamke was the one who said it should be most of the army. He expected Sandima to plot something, and thought having more soldiers on hand was best. No doubt we would set up camp just outside the fabled Spirit Forest before they moved forward with attempted negotiations, as I imagine approaching with so many forces was the exact opposite impression Sigurd wanted to give. But, regardless of how or why, the decision was made and everything needed to be accounted for. In my case, it was ensuring the health of my patients even after I left. Sigurd wanted me to travel with everyone, in case King Batu needed more specialized healing than what Lady Ethlyn and Lady Edain knew. Thankfully, all of the current patients were at a point where I could safely leave them in the hands of caretakers. ...Even more thankfully, between Lady Ethlyn's Return staff and Lady Edain's Warp, I was only a short message away should anything unexpected occur.

This did mean, however, I dealt with quite an influx of visitors, wanting to confirm treatment plans for their sick family members or to get extra medicine. In the case of my two worst off, Erdene and Zaya, it meant more visits to simply reassure themselves all was well. Though, in the case of one, it was to see them at last.

"Thank you for letting me bring her here," Altan mumbled, smiling a little sheepishly. Next to him, Erdene's sweet little daughter, Enkh, all but vibrated from excitement as she clung to his pant leg. I could not blame her; it was the first time she had seen her father since he had been conscripted. Altan's wife had been watching her all this time. "I knew I should've waited to tell her that her dad was healing fine."

"There is nothing to thank or apologize for," I reassured, doing my level best to keep my smile perfectly polite and calm. It was much harder than it should be. "She is not the only young visitor we have today. Sarnai brought Zaya's baby." Though, this time, we were definitely staying close to everyone. Who knew if anyone else would act only on rumors to set the place aflame? We were still fixing the damages. "Shall we head to the infirmary?"

"Yes, my lady." He looked down at Enkh and ruffled her hair. "Come on, little pixie. Let's see your dad."

I led them, though Altan no doubt had the path memorized from his own visits, and I barely took two steps before Enkh let go of Altan's pant leg to slip her hand in mine. It... was small. Her hand was so small. It made sense. From what Altan had told me, she was only two years old. It was a surprise she could walk and talk. ...Well, maybe it was normal for two-year-olds. I didn't know; I had never interacted with one so young. I had certainly never held the hand of someone so small. She could only hold two of my fingers in hers. Someone so small... had almost become an orphan. Altan had told me Erdene's wife died a few months ago, and if Sigurd and I had not listened to our conscience and helped those who had been our enemies, she would have lost her father. She would...

I tightened my hold on her hand, just slightly, and did my best to smile. She grinned back, wide and bright. I hoped, when this was over at last, she would grow up in a world where she could always keep that smile. I hoped she would always smile, just like this.

We held hands the entire trip to the infirmary where Erdene rested. When we entered, though, I was nervous. Would Erdene be too exhausted for this visit? I had, of course, informed him of his daughter's desire to see him, and he had even forgone his usual pain medications to ensure he'd stay awake. Still, his recovery would be steady and lengthy, given the number of health problems he had before someone's lance gored his side out, and recovery and healing always made one tired. So, I was relieved to see him still up when we came to the infirmary. Enkh bounced in excitement, barely able to clear the floor, though she did manage to land on my feet and nearly fall. I righted her quickly, and ignored the pain in my foot as I helped her those last few steps.

"Papa~! Hiiiiii~!" After all, what was a little pain when I could hear a sweet little girl greet her father so cheerfully?

"Hey there, pixie." What was a little pain when I could hear her father answer back, in a weak, tired, but loving voice? "How have you been? What have I missed?"

"Lots, lots!" Enkh tried to climb onto the bed, but I directed her to a chair instead. Erdene wasn't recovered enough for her to sit on the bed with him. "A bunny!"

"You saw a bunny?"

"Yes!"

From there, she babbled about anything and everything to him, and Erdene listened with a smile, nodding along and asking questions to show he was listening. I watched for a moment, gauging Erdene's health, before turning to... well, I had intended to ask Altan if he wanted a check-up since he was here. Seeing him beam at the father and daughter, though, on the edge of tears, I decided to not offer just yet. It was clear to me he wanted ample time to burn the scene into his memory.

Eventually, he tore his gaze away, and instead turned his attention to the others in the room. After all, Erdene did not room alone. Across the room, Zaya was propped up in her own bed, recovering well from her surgery to repair her abdomen, and as I had told Altan earlier, she also had guests. She cuddled with her baby, as carefully as she could through the pain and bandages, and Sarnai cooed and fussed over them both. I went over to adjust her blankets, and study her complexion. If she continued recovering at this pace, then she could be moved to her own room soon.

"Apologies for the noise," Altan murmured, following me over. He even bowed, with a sheepish smile, though he remained careful to keep his stump out of sight. I wondered if it would be a habit he'd keep his whole life. "She's a bright one."

"That's why you nicknamed her 'pixie', isn't it?" Sarnai asked with a flash of a grin. Next to her, Zaya muffled a laugh, wincing from the pain. I frowned worriedly, but she shook her head. She did not want more pain medication yet. "We don't mind. Zaya's hurting a little too much to outright say it, of course, but I promise, she thinks the same." Zaya even nodded to emphasize the words. I began mixing her up some tea, since she was due for her other medicines soon. Did I have enough salt?

"Still, I probably should've warned you first."

"Why? The cheer was a lovely surprise." Sarnai kept grinning, and I was glad to see it. Today was the first day she could walk into the castle without shaking; I knew she'd spent the days since the fire resting and recovering. The smoke inhalation had been terrible. "Especially from her. I remember how quiet she was at her mother's funeral."

"Ah, yes, that's right. You both attended." Altan smiled at Zaya. "In fact, didn't Yesui scold you for such?" Zaya's only 'answer' was to duck her head to hide her smile. "Not good for a pregnant woman to push herself."

"It's also not good to risk irking the spirits." Sarnai sulked, just a little, before gasping and turning to me. "Oh, my lady, I'm sorry." ...What was she apologizing for? "In Verdane, everyone attends everyone's funerals, even those of strangers, to protect themselves. The veil between worlds becomes particularly thin during them, and some spirits will sneak through to cause mischief. There's safety in numbers."

"Yet those with medical conditions, and their family members, are exempt, and it is part of our funerary duties to check on them." Altan shook his head, smiling despite the clear exasperation. I went to find more salt for Zaya's tea. "Pregnancy counts."

"Well, we went, so no use scolding." Sarnai shrugged, back to grinning. There was something pained to it, though. "Besides, considering how it was only a few weeks later the conscriptions started, I'd say some very mischievous spirits slipped through this time."

"Not all evils should be blamed on spirits." Indeed, Grannvale had plenty of 'evils' and as far as I knew, no spirits lingered there. "But that is neither here nor there."

"True." Sarnai leaned forward to get a better look at Erdene and Enkh. She still babbled, absently kicking her legs since the seat of her chair was so high, and he still listened and nodded along. "Looks like he's gotten some weight back since then." ...This was 'gotten weight back'? No wonder he had been so frail when I first treated him. "Thinner than a twig, he was."

"Well, both he and his wife took ill. He just managed to survive, while..." Altan shrugged, finding no need to finish the sentence. "Still don't know what took her."

"They got sick after heading into the Spirit Forest, right?" Sarnai frowned thoughtfully, tilting her head even. I returned to Zaya's side to finish up the tea. "Could a spirit have gotten offended? Our mother died that way. Stepped on a root by accident and not two steps later, a snake bit her." That seemed less like a 'spirit' and more 'disturbing the snake', in my opinion. But, then again, perhaps that was how spirits worked.

"I suppose, since Erdene remembers seeing something cloaked and dark amidst the trees. But I have to wonder just what sort of spirit they crossed to be sick like that. They would've died outright if not for that silver spirit catching my attention and leading me to them." Altan shuddered at the memory. "Uyanga swore her bones were shattering in her body, by the end." ...Wait, I knew that symptom. I had read about it, and it was in my notes. Now, where did I...?

"Lady Alicia!" There was no time to think of the answer. Without warning, one of the messenger boys swung into the room, one I knew fairly well. Batbayar was one of the three Dew had saved from the flames, and I had treated him for the burn on his face. To my surprise, and relief, he actually kept the eye. There was scarring, of course, but so far, there was no sign of damage to the eye itself and he had full vision in it. "Message for you," he blurted, noticeably out of breath. I poured him some water and handed it to him. "Miss Yesui wants your help. Some emergency with one of her patients."

"Might you let Lady Edain know she needs to watch the infirmary?" I requested, mind already whirling. Just what had happened? "I need to fetch my bag and staves."

"Of course, my lady!"

Batbayar was very prompt. I had just finished gathering my things when Lady Edain rushed in, Sir Midir trailing after her to provide any assistance. In fact, he offered to serve as my escort, since it was technically still too dangerous to go out alone, but I gently refused. After all, if Mistress Yesui was asking, then it likely had to deal with a birth and I had learned that in Verdane, no men were allowed in the house during a birthing. Not even male healers were allowed except in the most extreme of circumstances. The house wasn't far anyway. It felt like Batbayar had me there in a blink, and in another, I was in a back room where Mistress Yesui efficiently, yet quickly, prepared her herbs and surgery tools. I did not remember either journey at all.

"You're here...!" she breathed when she saw me, smiling in relief. Though it did not suit the situation in the slightest, I could not help but realize this was the first time my help had been 'requested', not 'demanded', by someone more experienced than me. It was also the first time the response to said request/demand was a smile, not a scowl. "Thank goodness."

"What happened?" I asked, trying to put pieces together. While the energy of the house was frantic, it was not chaotic. That implied nothing immediate occurred. "Rather, what is going to happen?"

"Surgery, for an early delivery. Given what happened to Zaya..." Ah, yes, this made perfect sense. Zaya's infection had required me using my magic to burn it away. Nothing had taken until I had done so. "As for why there's a surgery, well..." She looked down at her herbs before returning her attention to me. "Severe pre-eclampsia, and eclampsia."

"She waited so long?" Eclampsia... if I remembered Mistress Yesui's lessons, that meant seizures. She also said she usually tried to induce birth prior to things deteriorating to that point.

"I knew she shouldn't have, that I shouldn't have, but she was so insistent..." Mistress Yesui grimaced, looking away guiltily. "Her husband was... he's like Zaya's." So, he had been one of the conscripted, and one of the dead. "Altan said you tried to save him. Most wouldn't have."

"Did I?"

"Yes, but he'd had a hole in his neck." Oh. He had been that one. I remembered him. He had struggled so hard; I mourned how I was not skilled enough. "It's an early birth. The surgery. The babe likely will not survive. Too premature." That was why our patient had protested, but now, we had a situation where either one was lost or both. I... did not like it. It was painful. But our job as healers was to save all we could. "Not only that, but these conditions can impair fetus growth. Makes it all the more likely."

"...Is the mother aware?" Was that even the right term for her? Did one stop being a 'mother' if their child died in the womb, died in their first seconds of life?

"She is." Mistress Yesui's smile was pained. It had not been an easy conversation. "She agreed for her sister-in-law's sake. She had begged, not wanting to lose all three. Two… will be hard enough."

There was nothing more to be said. There wasn't any time. I helped Mistress Yesui prep for the surgery and then followed her into the room where our patient was asleep on a bed, wearing a loose dress. She... was swollen. I could not help but notice. I remembered the lessons mentioning swelling was a common side effect of pre-eclampsia, but it was another thing to see it. Her hands and face... they were both terribly swollen. Though, I could see the tearstains still on her cheeks, so some of the swelling around her eyes must have been from crying. She had cried, as the medicines put her under. This had to have been... such a difficult choice.

I assisted Mistress Yesui as best as I could, following her instructions faithfully. The abdominal incision led to a lot of blood, but no more than expected. The baby was delivered, and the cord clamped and cut. I used both magic and medicine to disinfect the area while Mistress Yesui removed the placenta and checked every 'piece' was accounted for. Then we both cleansed the cut one more time before she sewed her up. It was not a long procedure. At least, it did not feel long.

The baby was wrapped in a blanket off to the side. They made no sound, not even when Mistress Yesui had cleared their noise and mouth of fluids. They did not twitch at any noises. They were paler than a statue. When it became apparent Mistress Yesui had no immediate need of me, I picked them up, noticing how cold they were. They were also incredibly small. I swore they were smaller than my forearm, and my medicines weighed more. Even with me picking them up, they did not react. They appeared... perfectly dead. It was just as Mistress Yesui said. Yet I could not... I could not let it be. Even with Father Eirik's warning ('The newly born are too fragile for your flames') echoing in my head, I had to try. I had to, for the sake of the mother who cried as she went to sleep. I... I wanted to, for her. I wanted to save everyone, not just 'all I can', even if it was only a fool's notion. So, I called to my magic, as I would for any standard check-up. To my surprise, it... it took. Healing magic... did not take to the dead. But it did here. So, despite all appearances, despite all logic, the baby... was somehow still alive.

I went to work, even as my mind reeled and scrambled to remember each and every little thing from my books and lessons. They were cold, so I hugged them close to try and keep them warm. Their heart fluttered, barely enough to sense, so I strengthened it with my magic. Their lungs were weak, struggling, so I used my magic to try and clear their airways more. To my surprise, I was soon rewarded with the quietest, tiniest mewl and a small amount of squirming. They were anemic, but I used my magic to give them a little boost. There was something with their eyes and I could not... I could not figure it out! All I could do was give them my magic to try and help!

"Alicia?" Mistress Yesui appeared in front of me, looking so kind and chiding. "Alicia, I appreciate it, but the baby..." she began, no doubt to say how the baby was lost. All logic said so. Yet she paused, noticing what I did. "Wait, are they...?"

"There's something with their eyes," I blurted, unable to think of a polite way to explain. I could barely think at all. I knew so very little about this, yet... "Their airway was clogged still, but I think I cleared it enough. They are cold and anemic, but I can keep them warm. Their heartbeat is faint, but I can strengthen it. Their eyes, though... I can't..."

"Retinopathy, perhaps?" WIthout the slightest hesitation, Mistress Yesui went to work, fetching some eye drops from her bag and pulling the baby's eyelids open to dilate the pupil and look at them. The baby tried to squirm away, but I held them still. "Yes, there are early signs. I will need to do follow-up exams to see if surgery is needed." She ran her fingers over the baby's face, nodding to herself. "The cold is not unexpected. Premature babies lose body heat very quickly. Anemia is also normal, and I'm not surprised by how weak their heart is. The breathing..." Frowning in thought, she undid the blanket, just enough to rest her hands on the baby's chest. "Respiratory distress... also not uncommon. If we're quick, we can fix it. Their lungs just need more time to develop." She looked at me, even as she continued checking the baby over. "Any bleeding in their brain?" I shook my head, even as I double-checked. "Good." She chuckled suddenly, amused and pleased. "Well, seems the baby is a fighter. Good of you to check. I'm not sure I would've had the time, treating his mother as I was."

"I... I suppose..." Now, however, I looked away, mortified by the risk I took. "I... I'm sorry."

"For what? Taking a chance that you could heal him? That's what healers do, Alicia. We take chances to try and help."

"Yes, but my magic... it could have..." Again, Father Eirik's warning rang in my head. Then it was followed by the memory of his lectures for tripping over my words so much. A healer should never stutter, should always be clear and concise. "It could have hurt them. It's like fire, so it could have..."

"Blessed Spirits, what are you talking about?" Mistress Yesui gently touched my cheek and turned my face back to her. Her eyes were warm and kind, and her smile was relieved and proud. "Your magic saved them."

That was the last she said before switching back to 'work', this time with a focus on preparing everything for the baby. Since the baby remained cold, I was tasked with holding and warming them as I moved about to help Mistress Yesui with everything. Most pertinent, of course, was checking the new mother. Sleeping medicines were terribly finicky, especially the ones used for surgery, and we had to be vigilant to catch any sort of reaction as she slowly woke up. I also checked her incision numerous times for any hint of infection, not wanting her to suffer as Zaya did. It was awkward while holding someone so tiny. Mistress Yesui had to help me adjust my arms and hands numerous times to ensure I did not hurt them. But... I managed. Somehow, I managed, and eventually, the mother... woke up.

"Mmm..." she groaned, blinking slowly. Mistress Yesui went over to help her sit up, propped by a plethora of pillows. I lingered awkwardly nearby, the baby still in my arms. I was all too aware of how small they were, like this. "Is...?" She looked up at Mistress Yesui, with an expression so tired her eyes appeared dead. "Ah, so it's over?"

"Yes, the surgery is finished," Mistress Yesui confirmed, fussing over the pillows. I guessed they had to be at the right angle to minimize potential pressure on the incision. "No complications."

"I see." A terribly bitter smile quirked onto her face as she let her head fall once more. It was hard to call it a 'smile' at all. "What do I need to do to...?"

"Well, first, why don't we see if your baby can latch?" Mistress Yesui smiled so warmly, and somehow, it only grew warmer when the mother jerked her head up. "I can guarantee nothing. They were born premature, and there's a plethora of health problems we must fight. But Alicia's magic here gave them the boost they needed to keep on fighting. So, we shall do all we can to help, with your permission."

"My baby... is alive...?" She stared, dazed and shocked. But there was a light in her eyes, a light that brightened when I crept over, her baby's quiet cries emphasizing Mistress Yesui's words. "My baby is...?"

"Yes, and a mother's milk will be quite good for the little one." Mistress Yesui helped the new mother sit up a little higher, and then took the baby from me. "Here we are... oh, and just look at that smile!" Yes, they were smiling. Both mother and baby were smiling so brightly, so beautifully. It was hard to call them 'smiles' because the word was too simple a description. "Here, like this..."

I believe the baby did have trouble latching. Neither Mistress Yesui or the new mother seemed discouraged by it, though. In fact, during the process, Mistress Yesui confirmed it was safe for me to leave. She could take it from there. So, I did, giving one last smile to the mother and baby before departing. One of the neighbors helpfully escorted me to the castle, and I waved to the guards at the gate as I passed. At least, I think I did. Honestly, I did not comprehend much in the aftermath. If I had not memorized the path to my workshop, I might have even gotten lost. But I did not, and I managed to set my bag on the table before sinking into the chair, my mind still whirling from everything. Yet the thing it latched onto most was Mistress Yesui's words: 'your magic saved them.'

It was such a simple statement. She probably thought nothing of it. But to hear it from someone older, from someone I learned from... I had no idea how much weight such words could have. Yes, Arvis had mentioned so many times how he envied my healing, but that was different. He was my brother. This was a stranger, an acquaintance. No stranger or acquaintance had ever said... Father Eirik had never said...

"Alicia?" Sigurd's worried voice jolted me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see him lingering in the doorway. "Is everything well?" he asked, frowning. "I heard there was an emergency."

"Yes, one of Mistress Yesui's patients needed an emergency surgery due to pregnancy complications, and she wanted me on hand thanks to what happened to Zaya," I answered, smiling. I knew it wasn't a proper smile. It was too wide, pulled too much at my face and made my eyes narrow. I was certain I looked like a mad woman, not a calm healer. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I could not smile properly. "We managed to save her and her child, though. At least, we did for now. The baby will have quite the fight on their hands to be healthy, but Mistress Yesui was hopeful." Those smiles... oh, I would remember those smiles forever.

"That's wonderful news!" Sigurd smiled back, as delighted as can be. "Should we delay marching for a few days so you can check on them?"

"No, I think all will be well." As much as I would want to tend to both directly, if only for my own worries, they were in much better hands with Mistress Yesui. "She and the other doctors have confirmed they can watch over our patients here, after all." The best thing we could do now was end this for them. Then they could heal properly. "Did anything happen while I was away?"

"Nothing serious, mostly gathering information with Prince Jamke, but I was thinking about a market walk with Shannan." He walked over and held out his hand. "Want to join? I think you deserve a break and I know he'd prefer having you around."

"I..." I hesitated before taking his hand and letting him help me up. "Oh, very well." Truthfully, I should refuse, as there were many things I needed to do, but I found the offer far too tempting. Lord Shannan would be fully recovered before long, and I doubted he would wish to take walks with me once he was. "Let's find him, then."

---

Eventually, it was time to march. Half of our forces ended up remaining in Marpha. The other half was split into two groups: a small number of both Granvalle and Verdane soldiers led by Sigurd and Prince Jamke and the rest would follow in a few days. That way there were reinforcements, if needed. I, and most of those I knew, were part of the first group, so in what felt like a handful of days, we were off. Those who did not have their own horses rode with others. I rode with Azelle. He was my little brother, after all, and he was quite proud of his riding ability. Though, for some reason, both Lady Edain and Lady Ethlyn had suggested I ride with Sigurd, and Lord Quan had seemed surprised when I refused. Did they want to keep the two 'troublemakers' together to better watch us?

Such speculations had no answers, of course. They just lingered in my mind as we traveled, mostly to keep from thinking of the trip itself. Surprisingly, the Spirit Forest was just as eerie as the rumors claimed. It was terribly dark and surprisingly cold. The trees loomed over the path, like they wished to swallow us whole. This place... it did not feel part of the world at all.

"Alicia?" Azelle's voice broke through my thoughts. "Are you well, Alicia?" he asked worriedly. His hands were tense on the reigns. "Am I going too fast?"

"I am just fine, Azelle," I reassured, pushing such my meandering thoughts away. Then, I twisted so I could smile at him. "I rode with Arvis many times."

"Oh, I knew that. Arvis used it as a way to get me to keep up my riding lessons." Did he now? I might need to scold him for using me as a carrot. "Which turned out to be a very good thing, since that's how we figured out I didn't get nearly as sick when riding a horse." …Well, perhaps I would scold him a little less. "But that's not important. I know I'm not as skilled of a rider, so..."

"You are as skilled as Arvis was at your age."

"Really?" He seemed both surprised and dubious. "That..."

"Do remember, Azelle, that Arvis is seven years older than you, and thus has seven years more training than you." There was also how Arvis had thrown himself into lessons to try and maintain some sort of control over his environment while our father was alive, meaning he studied like a madman. Azelle took his studies seriously, but not obsessively.

"We probably spent a little too much time playing pranks instead of studying too," Lex commented, coming even with us. Lady Ayra rode with him, astride the horse and behind Lex, unlike me, who rode sidesaddle in front of Azelle. She was… remarkably quiet. "Or, well, I did and dragged you along."

"Glad for the clarification," Azelle grumbled, scowling at him. Lex only grinned. "Still say the buckets were too much for Danann."

"Oh, come on! He takes himself too seriously. Needs to learn how to laugh at himself before he crumples under the pressure."

"You just want to make him look ridiculous."

"Most siblings do. You've got a weird relationship with yours, Azelle, but mine is fairly normal. Even if I haven't seen him in a couple of years." Lex shrugged, and Lady Ayra glanced at him in confusion. Azelle, however, looked very sad by the words and I remembered receiving a letter from Arvis about how Lex suddenly started staying with them two years ago. He didn't say why; he wrote he purposely didn't ask. Given how Lex would flinch when someone came close, I could… take a few guesses. I only needed one to know what Arvis suspected. "Besides, I didn't prank him for his wedding. Do you know how much self-control that took?"

"What self-control? I had to yell at both you and Tailtiu to behave yourselves the whole day!"

"Tailtiu's prank would've been so much fun, though. Maybe we can pull it on Bloom instead? Has he proposed to Hilda yet?"

"He's planning on it. Tailtiu writes that he's indecisive on the ring. Something about…" Azelle made a show of thinking. "No jewel fits her shining resplendence?"

"That sounds like him, the smitten idiot."

The two might have continued along that vein for a while, given how easily they spoke, but I noticed how Lady Ayra sat so stiffly with a grimace on her face, and thus, could not help but ask, "are you not used to riding, Lady Ayra?"

"Huh?!" Of course, maybe I should not have said anything, since Lady Ayra jumped and nearly fell off the horse. Lex maneuvered the horse to keep her on, and Azelle reached over to steady her. "I… uh…" Lady Ayra stammered as she recovered. "What was that?"

"I asked if you were not used to riding, Lady Ayra," I repeated, worried now. Perhaps I should not have said anything.

"I… no, that's… um…" Never had I seen her at such a loss for words. She even refused to look at anyone. "I… never learned." So, was that a 'yes', then? "I… I would freeze during my lessons, remembering Setanta, so I never learned."

"Setanta?"

"My best friend." Her eyes grew sad, and that alone told me what had happened. Surprisingly, though, she actually kept talking. "Od had twin daughters, both of whom inherited the blood of Tiamat. The elder, Hnoss, was the Major, and Gersemi, the younger, was the first Minor. Both were later blessed by fairies, with Hnoss receiving power from the stars and Germesi, the moon." Now that I thought about it, Lord Shannan had mentioned the 'blessings of Tiamat had been augmented' by her attendants. What did 'power of the stars and moon' mean, though? No other Crusader tale had anything similar. "Afterwards, Germesi chose to remain near the mountains where they met the fairies, and thus founded Sophara. It had a practical aspect as well, since it guarded the only safe passages through the mountains."

"Guessing this friend of yours is from Sophara, if you're bringing it up," Lex noted, reaching up to push a branch aside. I wondered why he did not simply duck, before realizing Lady Ayra might not have realized it was there until it was too late. She was firmly stuck in her memories by this point. "Yes?"

"He was. Because of our history, the houses were always close. It was no surprise to anyone Setanta and I got along. We were friends since we met, when I was barely a year old." She sighed, smiling slightly. "The family was always famous for... well, all those of Od's blood have a strong attachment to animals. Tiamat is the goddess of beasts, after all. But Sophara's ruling family always seemed to have the lion's share of that particular trait."

"Cute pun."

"What are you... oh." Lady Ayra glared, and Lex snickered. Azelle maneuvered close enough to lightly hit Lex's shoulder in quiet reprimand. "That was not... oh, never mind. This is ridiculous."

"No, no, keep talking. I'm curious."

"You're always curious." She sighed and shook her head. "I suppose I was getting on a tangent, though. The point I was trying to make was most of the family learned how to ride very young, much younger than other nobles, thanks to that bond. So, Setanta would always take me riding when we saw each other. We'd race down the paths, the wide-open grasslands stretching out into beautiful forests and mountains... it was exhilarating. It was fun. They remain my fondest memories of my childhood."

"...But then he died, huh?"

"He did. He, and his family." Lady Ayra drooped, the weight of the memory too much to keep her posture. I was a little surprised she was sharing all of this, but perhaps she didn't think much of it. It was an old scar, one that ached, but only that. "I was about seven at the time. I was supposed to go visit within a few days, and I was eager. We'd had a stupid, childish argument last time, and I wanted so badly to apologize. But all of a sudden, Father was rushing out with troops, taking the pass towards Sophara. He didn't tell me why, but Mariccle did. He told me there had been a coup. Sophara was in flames, and Father was going to assist. Mariccle left later the same day to do the same."

"It must've moved fast to take so many by surprise," Azelle noted, adjusting his grip on the reigns. His horse wanted to move a little faster than Lex's, probably out of boredom. "Do you remember how?"

"Infiltration, bribery, hostages... it was everything Isaach stood against," Lady Ayra growled, clenching her fist. Lex glanced back at her, worried at how much she stiffened. "I remember... waiting. Waiting and waiting, wondering just what was going on. Wondering when they'd be back. Wondering and waiting. It took days for them to return with news."

"None good, though."

"No." She breathed in slowly, and just as slowly breathed out, no doubt to keep calm. I saw the remnants of tears in her eyes. "Father tried to keep the full extent from me, to protect me, but Mariccle went against him. Told me how my best friend's parents were dead, how both his younger sister and brother were dead, and how he was missing."

"Missing?"

"Yes." She smiled bitterly. "I clung to that word for so long. He was only missing. He wasn't dead, just missing. Surely, he had escaped to the mountains or the forests. He was always wandering, to say hello to all the animals."

"...The wild animals?"

"Yes." She said it like it was obvious; I tried to think of how he didn't get eaten by a bear or something long before all this. "So, surely, he was there, safe. And he'd wander back, maybe a little bruised and scraped, but fine. I believed it. I believed it for many, many months." But he never did. "When it came time to begin my lessons for horseback riding, I could only think of those precious memories. Think of how the last time I spoke with him was an argument. Think of how my hope had burned until it was nothing but ash. So, I never learned. Father never forced."

"That was kind of him."

"Perhaps, but I wish he did now." Lady Ayra looked up ahead, where Lord Shannan rode with Sigurd. Lord Shannan asked questions about this and that, his eyes sparkling in wonder, and Sigurd did his best to answer them all. "The flight from Isaach would no doubt have been easier if I knew. I could've protected him better."

"That's..."

"I think you give yourself too little credit there, Ayra," Lex surprisingly replied. He, too, focused on Lord Shannan, smiling at the little prince. "Maybe you didn't do as good of a job as you'd like, but you did protect him. You got him all the way here, and yes, things were rough. But honestly, given how far you ran? It's a miracle neither of you died."

"That… is true," Lady Ayra reluctantly agreed. I could tell she still blamed herself for Lord Shannan's health issues, even if he was almost fully recovered. "Perhaps Hekate of the Crossroads guided me."

"That's the fairy who protects and guides travelers who are lost in the darkness, right? Think that's what Shannan said."

"Ah, yes?" Well, someone was startled. Lady Ayra looked like someone had hit her over her head, and Azelle reached out to steady her in case she fell. Again. "I thought he only told you of Hestia of the Hearth, and her castle."

"Azelle and Shannan talked a lot about fairies." Lex glanced over his shoulder to grin at her. "But yeah, maybe she did. I think I told you this, but Sigurd's the best damn protection the kid has in this situation. Everyone knows he will do what he thinks is right, no matter the cost to himself, and everyone knows he's got the strength of arm to cut down any in his path."

"And I believe I told you that only made me worry more for Sigurd." Though she scowled with the words, there was no heat to them. "Besides, didn't you mention there were some who could overrule him? Or maybe that was Quan."

"Likely Quan, but you're right. His father, Lord Byron, and King Azmur are the only ones who can." Lex's grin widened. "Isn't it lucky, then, that despite Lord Byron's eternal exasperation, he never actually stops his son? Or maybe it's luckier King Azmur has quite the soft spot for him?"

"Huh?"

"Supposedly, Sigurd takes after his mother when it comes to the reckless loyalty, and Lord Byron admires the trait, so he never does worse than scold. Ever. As for the soft spot..." Lex shrugged. "Can't verify it directly of course, but it's in the gossips. According to them, King Azmur is soft on both Sigurd and Arvis."

"I've heard the same, but whenever I ask, Arvis gives me a 'what are you talking about' look," Azelle commented absently. I think it was more to let Lady Ayra recover than any real interest in the topic. "Alicia, what do you think?"

"I think even if it were true, Arvis would not recognize it," I answered after a moment. After all, Arvis had difficulties believing in people's good intentions. There had been too many cruelties masked with niceness in our father's court. "Still, he respects King Azmur. One of the proudest days of his life is when King Azmur appointed him commander of the Royal Guard. He scribbled me a note and sent it via falcon the very day." I wondered how to continue, if I even should, when a flash of silver in the trees caught my eye. When I twisted to look properly, though, there was no sign of anything but leaves and shadows.

"Sister?" Azelle looked as well, even slowing his horse to get a better look. "What is it?"

"...Perhaps it was nothing." After all, there was nothing now, and if there was one thing I had learned while being in the army, it was that others had far better sight and ears than me. "Ah, I am reminded. Should I tell you three of the time Arvis got himself lost finding herbs for me?"

"He did what." Azelle grinned, instantly amused. Even more amusing, Lex immediately slowed his own horse to fall back in line with Azelle's. Lady Ayra frowned, perhaps confused as to why this was so hilarious to the two. "Tell, tell!"

Our first day through the Spirit Forest proved to be quite lively. I could only hope it was a good omen for what was to come.

---

The Spirit Forest was vast, so vast that it was impossible to traverse in a single day. As such, we had to camp. This led to me rather awkwardly trying to stay out of the way while everyone set up the camp in whatever order it was supposed to be in. I truly had no idea. Even on the journeys between castles, I had not set up a tent. I had studied by candle and moonlight, staying just inside the camp's boundaries so I would not bother the watches. With so many people, however, I felt like I was in the way even when hiding on the outskirts. I was careful to avoids roots, though. I remembered how Sarnai said her mother had died.

"Oh, Lady Alicia, there you are!" At some point during the set up, Lady Edain rushed over, smiling brightly. Did she like camping, or had she simply enjoyed the easy excuse to stay so close to Sir Midir? She had ridden with him, after all. "You certainly chose an interesting place to hide," she teased with a light giggle. "I have been looking all over for you."

"My apologies," I murmured, glancing around. No one appeared hurt by my eyes, and certainly no one spoke as if anyone was, but why else would she come to me? "Did you need something? My understanding was this was too temporary a camp to set up an infirmary."

"It is, which is why you and I have our own tents instead of pairing up like everyone else. Just in case of an emergency. Until then, though, we're off-duty!" That was... concerning. I did not want anyone to hide their injuries. Sometimes, something minor was merely a prelude to something catastrophic. "So, I was thinking we could have some tea?"

"Tea?"

"Yes!" One could practically see the sparkles surrounding her. "It won't be a proper tea, of course, since we're camping, but I thought it might be nice."

"I see." Why would she want my company for such a thing? Regardless, it seemed like a... well, I could not call it a 'waste' of time, as she clearly would enjoy it, but for me... "I fear I must refuse. I have to check if the medicines traveled properly." As Prince Jamke had requested, I had packed all which could be spared and I did not want to risk any breaking before we arrived. "Then I have to check on Lord Shannan. He may have fully recovered by this point, but his stamina is nowhere near what a child his age would like."

"Oh?" Lady Edain noticeably drooped at my refusal, and I immediately felt bad. Yet what else could I do? Ignoring how I could spend the time studying and mending, I dared not think of what everyone would think if they saw their Chief Healer acting so frivolously. Now that my heritage was known, I had to work all the harder to prove I was not my father. "Perhaps next time, then?" Now how was I supposed to answer that? Given how the campaign was almost over, there likely would not be a next time. I... would never see any of these people again, except at a distance, when this was over. The healer was always left behind. Yet I could not simply say that. Even I knew it was rude. So, I had to hope for some convenient distraction and...

"Lady Alicia~!" ...Ah. Well, here, in fact, came the convenient distraction, in the form of Lady Ethlyn skipping over. While I wondered just why she was looking for me, I appreciated her appearance. "Hey, where is your tent set up?" she asked without any sort of greeting. "I couldn't find it."

"May I ask why you were looking for it?" I asked in return, mostly to avoid answering. How was I supposed to tell her where it was 'set up' when I did not have one? "I do hope I am not the intended target of a prank."

"No, though I did hear a few discussing it. Dew pointed out how stupid of an idea it is to play a prank on your healer." ...That was not meant to be serious. Please let there be no pranks here in camp. "But no, I just wanted to hang this there." She pulled out a sachet from her pocket, simple yet fragrant. "Khasar passed these out; the people of Marpha made them." Was that so? "They say it's to keep spirits away, but it also serves as an insect repellant." Well, that was fascinating. What herbs did they use for it? "So, every tent gets one!"

"I see." I suppose I could keep it on my person, then? "Then I can take it." When I held out my hand, though, Lady Ethlyn shook her head. "Lady Ethlyn?"

"I want to hang it in the best spot!" If there was a specific place it had to be set, I believed I could do so, especially since I had no tent. "Besides, since I couldn't find it earlier, I want to see it now." That was... this was... oh, I knew the look in her eye, too. It was the same stubborn determination Sigurd had.

So, I bit back a sigh and accepted the inevitable. "I don't have one."

"Huh?"

"I do not have a tent."

"Eh?!" Lady Ethlyn flailed with the yelp, nearly flinging the sachet into the trees. Only Lady Edain's quick action saved it. "Why not!?"

"I do not know how to set one up." This was… mortifying. I almost preferred trying to figure out how to reply to a disappointed Lady Edain. "So…"

"Then you must ask for help!" Lady Ethlyn suddenly grabbed my hands, squeezing tightly as she looked up at me with all the sincerity in the world. "Though, honestly, the soldiers should've offered. They must already know, after all."

"No, they do not." Why should they have offered even if they did? "I went to bed later and woke earlier than all but the watches."

"Then you camped without a tent?!" Lady Ethlyn could be terribly loud; her shrieks echoed off the trees. I could only hope most were too busy to hear. "I can understand when we moved from Genoa to Marpha, since you and Sigurd rushed off without anything, but it's many days between Evans and Genoa!"

"We traveled fast." I suppose there was a worry of illness, but the weather had been surprisingly nice.

"That is not the point!" She was getting even louder. At this rate, someone was going to come investigate and…

"Er… Lady Ethlyn, why are you yelling?" And there was Lord Oifeye, our investigator. It made sense for him to be the first to approach, given Lady Ethlyn was the source of the racket. "You're scaring the soldiers," he explained, frowning worriedly. He glanced between her and Lady Edain, clearing looking for some sort of answer. I wondered if I could escape unnoticed. Yes, Lady Ethlyn still held my hands, but her grip had loosened some. "Particularly the Verdanite ones. They say the spirits get angry and scared when there are loud noises. Whether or not you believe, it's best to be respectful, yes?"

"But Oifeye, how am I supposed to be calm?!" Lady Ethlyn immediately protested, whirling to face him. Surprisingly, though, she just as quickly wrapped her arms around mine to cling. No, there would be no escaping this time. "Lady Alicia camped without a tent on the way to Genoa!"

"She… huh?" Lord Oifeye had to blink a few times, far too stunned by the words. Was this truly worth such a fuss? "Do… do you prefer such, Lady Alicia? Were the tents too small? You have a great many books and medicines, so perhaps…"

"Since she does not know how to set one up, I do not think she had a chance to check," Lady Edain muttered, scowling. She crossed her arms and nodded a few times to herself. "Well, we cannot change the past, but we can rectify this now. Oifeye, can you fetch… I think Naoise is free right now? Fetch him and Arden." This was beyond mortifying at this point. Father Eirik and Elder Reisin both would've scolded me for causing such a ruckus. "With all of us, I think we can manage a tent."

They did, with far too much noise. I suppose it did not help I didn't even have a tent, so we had to steal one from the inventory. Then it was finding an open space. Sir Naoise and Sir Arden grumbled the entire time about 'too oblivious soldiers', for some reason. I hated making such trouble. Worse was how I could not help at all. I could only watch with Lady Edain while the others pitched my tent for me. She held onto my arm the whole time, perhaps to keep me from running away from embarrassment. I certainly wanted to, even though I knew it was improper for a healer to run away, but I didn't have the time. In a time that was both too long and too short, the tent was in place and declared 'sturdy' and I was thankfully left alone to 'settle in'. Well, I thought I was, but when I turned back to the entrance, I saw Lord Oifeye had lingered, studying a corner for some reason.

"It is a little small..." he mumbled to himself, eyes darting from corner to corner. It took me a second to realize he had taken that particular worry personally, and was now mentally measuring out everything. "I think there are larger ones in the inventory, so perhaps..."

"Lord Oifeye, it is fine," I reassured, hoping he would not actually snatch a different tent for me. This tent was actually larger than the room I had when I lived in the church, and the ground was no harder than a wooden floor. Truthfully, it was much too large for only me. "You fret too much."

"They say students will take after their teachers, so I guess it makes sense if I'm fretting as much as you do." He said the words without thinking, with all the absentminded honesty of saying the sky was blue. Still, they made me pause because it was only then I fully realized I… I had never taught anyone before Lord Oifeye. No one had wanted to learn from me. No one had thought I knew anything worth teaching. The closest was me catching someone else's mistake and correcting it. "Ah, speaking of which, can we have a lesson after dinner? I know it'll be harder without everything, but…"

"...Of course." I turned to smile at him. "We can go through my books, and talk more about when to use what medicines."

"That sounds amazing! I'll let Finn and Dew know!" With a grin and a laugh, he raced off to do just that.

I watched the tent flap flutter shut and shook my head before attempting to return to setting my things. There was so much room. I could set all my books without stacking, arrange all my medicines without worry for space. I could even set up all my medicine-making supplies in the corner. Why was there so much room? This was far too much for me. Maybe I should ask for a smaller one? I shouldn't be taking up so much space. It was wasted on me.

"Lady Alicia!" As I marveled at just how much room I had, Lord Shannan suddenly burst in, a little breathless but beaming. "Here!" he blurted, holding up a bouquet of flowers. "For you!"

"These are… for me?" I repeated slowly, taking them hesitantly. Why would he gather them for me? Were they medicinal? I did not recognize them.

"Yes!" Lord Shannan continued grinning. "Oh, I checked with Prince Jamke that these were safe to pick. The spirits here sound like the fairies in Isaach, so I didn't want to risk offending them. But they were so pretty! I had to get them for you!"

"You did?" He picked them for me because he thought them pretty? "I see." I couldn't help but soften, even as the gesture confused me. "Then I had best find some water for them." Later, I would press them, so I could keep them with me always. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Sure!" He seized my hand, the grip a little weak but otherwise certain. "There's a river not far, Lex showed me, so we just need to find something to use as a vase!"

Together, we found an empty jar no one had yet appropriated for use, and accompanied Sir Alec to the river. He was fetching water for cooking, and Lord Shannan... attempted to help carrying the various buckets. Between his size, and lack of strength, he did not truly do much, but Sir Alec praised him anyway, and I fussed over his reddened hands. So, by the time I returned to my tent, and set the vase of flowers safely in the far corner, it was time to get ready for dinner. Well, everyone else prepared for dinner. My plan was to study, as I always did. However...

"Ah, Lady Alicia?" However, Sir Midir soon appeared at my tent, smiling sheepishly. "Lady Edain tasked me with ensuring you made it to the group meal," he explained. I could only stare in surprise. "And I do fear I must insist. I've been worrying about your meals for a while now."

"You have?" I asked, mostly so I could stop staring like a fool. What was with today? It had been a long time since I felt so...

"Yes, you have never eaten at the same time as the rest of us and the cooks mention they have never seen you fetch so much as a snack for yourself." Why would I steal from the kitchens? "In fact, no one has seen you eat if they didn't bring you food themselves. It would be harder not to worry in that case."

"I assure you I am perfectly healthy." People were strange. I should simply accept this. "However, something tells me there is no convenient way to circumvent this order."

"Not a one."

"Then at let me fetch my books. I'm giving a lesson after dinner." I should at least use this time to study as well. I could not bear wasting time.

"Of course, my lady."

Sir Midir only allowed one; I had to sneak two more. It was completely bizarre, but at least I was able to tuck myself into a quiet spot during dinner itself. At least, it was quiet until Mister Dew found me, but that was mostly because Lord Oifeye, Lord Shanna, and Mister Finn soon joined him for the promised lesson. It was... a very strange night. I wouldn't complain, though.

---

Time had no meaning in the Spirit Forest. Logically, I knew it had only been two days since we entered, but it might as well have been yesterday or yesteryear for how it felt. According to Prince Jamke, we still had one more day's travel before we reached the other side. The return trip was certainly going to be interesting. Perhaps I might request warping via staff instead.

"I feel like I'm in Lady Ayra's tale," Sigurd noted softly, glancing around. I looked up at him curiously. After all, today, I rode with him. Azelle's horse might have pulled something earlier, stumbling over a hidden root, so it was better he not have a passenger until we were certain all was well. "Ah, right, you were handling that emergency with Mistress Yesui when she told Prince Jamke and me. He was describing the Spirit Forest, and she thought it sounded similar to a tale from Isaach."

"What was the tale?" I asked, glancing around for anyone who might also be curious. No one was near enough to join the conversation, though. Prince Jamke was far ahead, talking with scouts to ensure we remained on the 'safe path', while everyone else was very loosely grouped together. Mister Finn, with Lord Shannan as his passenger, was closest and both might have been curious, but they chatted with Lord Oifeye and Mister Dew, and whatever the topic, it was lighthearted enough to make all four smile, even as Mister Dew struggled to remain on the horse behind Lord Oifeye. I did not want to interrupt. "Do you remember it?"

"You should hear her tell it in full. She's a delightful storyteller." Was she? Perhaps she and Lex should tell stories to Lord Shannan together. I knew he'd enjoy it. "But she spoke of a village of fairies, where time passed much slower than it did outside. One year there was the equivalent of a hundred here. If one got lost and meandered there, then they could not return to the land of mortals. If they stepped foot outside, back in the mortal realm, the passing years would catching up, and they would instantly wither away."

"That's a rather fascinating concept." I supposed time held all in its grasp, and did not suffer anyone's manipulations. "Did she say where the village was?"

"Past Hestia's Castle. That's all their stories say. Hestia's Castle apparently marks the final 'safe place' for mortals, and... some other fairy whose name starts with an 'H' keeps them from wandering too far."

"Hekate?"

"Yes, that one." He grinned and I smiled back, even as I wondered how I remembered the name when he did not. "Though, Isaach supposedly does have a hidden village in the 'mortal realm', Od's birthplace."

"It is the birthplace of a Crusader, yet it is hidden?" That seemed... well, I certainly couldn't see that happening in Grannvale. "Is it hidden by their fairies?"

"I didn't ask that part. I should, though. She only said it was named 'Tirnanog', and lied far to the north." So, they knew it was to the north, knew the name even, and yet it was somehow still hidden? This story had far too many holes for my liking. "How are you holding up, Alicia? This has been quite a bit of riding."

"I am fine, Sigurd." My lower back ached some from the constant sitting, but there was nothing to be done about that. "Are you well? I believe you complained about the cold earlier today."

"Why do you think I stole you as my passenger of the day?" He grinned, showing he was joking, and ducked down to avoid a low-hanging branch. "You're a walking fire."

"It's the Fjalar blood. Arvis and Azelle also radiate a lot of heat." It remained so strange to say such a thing so openly. "I am surprised no one else snatched him as their own fire."

"We didn't want to interrupt your time to bond." Sigurd's grin softened to a smile and I found myself smiling back. "So... ah, Quan!" Hmm? Why was he...?

"Sigurd, what a surprise, I thought for sure you would be shivering still." Prince Quan came even with us then, expertly guiding his horse with the barest of movements. Sigurd must have seen him approach. "Did the ride warm you up?" he asked, laughing softly. It was almost like there was a joke behind the words, but I wasn't sure what.

"I don't need to hear that from you, Mister 'I have to wear six layers simply to survive Grannvelian winters'," Sigurd instantly retorted, rolling his eyes. He looked to me with a smile. "Leonster's weather is very mild, compared to Grannvale. Had to purchase him an entire winter wardrobe once because he was too stubborn to at least wear more layers and almost froze."

"I did not almost freeze." Prince Quan scoffed and Sigurd grinned. "But yes, our weather is milder. Its a reason why we have such a long harvest season. Sometimes, we're not quick enough and it rots on the vine. The animals enjoy it, though."

"Yes, which is why Leonster farmers have such trouble with the wildlife. As a certain prince knows first hand."

"Sigurd, it was you and Eldigan who thought it was a good idea to chase after the shadow." Prince Quan grimaced. "Still not sure how I was the one who had to run from the bear. I stayed back like a smart person."

"Eldigan and I climbed out of the way, of course, and it decided you were a much more convenient target once we were out of sight." Sigurd snickered and Prince Quan leaned over to whack his shoulder. "Regardless, yes, I am fine. Alicia's quite warm."

"Is she?" There was... definitely something to Prince Quan's smile there. I didn't know what, and a glance to Sigurd proved he was just as confused. This felt distressingly common lately. "Perhaps we should arrange for her and Edain to share. She can ride, after all, and dislikes the cold as much as you do."

"My friend, you would deny her the most perfect excuse to cuddle with Midir? So heartless! Are you jealous because you cannot ride with my adorable little sister?"

"Yes, and as such, I must hatch a dastardly plot to regain the hugs I am losing out on." Prince Quan groaned dramatically. "I miss my wife!"

"You two share a tent."

"That is besides the point, Sigurd! You'll understand when you're married. If you marry." Prince Quan sighed gustily. "At this rate, Eldigan is never going to be your best man."

"You sound like my father." Sigurd made a face. "Will you lecture me as well on how I need to marry for the good of Chalphy and all that nonsense?"

"You do need an heir. It's one of the responsibilities of nobility to ensure a smooth line of succession."

"Oifeye can take over. He'd certainly be better at it than I ever could." Sigurd grinned then. "Or I steal one of your kids, once Altenna gets a sibling or three."

"You can't kidnap my children!"

The two dissolved into clearly playful bickering, laughing far too much at each other for any sense of heat in the words. I let it wash over me and thought I might try to study. The horse's gait was smooth enough to read. Yet, even as I had the thought, despite the warmth of the chatter in my ear, a strange chill slowly settled into my very bones. It was like my blood itself was freezing. Unsettled and confused, I looked around wondering if something was wrong. Yet nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No one else had reacted... no, wait, that wasn't true. Though he was closer to the back of the group, with Lex and Lady Ayra, I could see Azelle looking around with a frown on his face, visibly disturbed by something. What was it, though? Why would both of us feel uneasy at the same time? Why only us two? That made little sense. It made even less sense the more I looked around and saw nothing unusual. All was as it should be... on the ground.

I do not know what made me look up. It was almost like a little voice in my ear screamed 'up, up'! Even then, through the thick branches and dense foliage, it was nearly impossible to see the swirling black mass of light blocking what little sunlight tried to make its way through. It was nearly impossible to see it swirl into the shape of a skull. It was nearly impossible to see the dark flames flickering and writhing like maggots within.

It was completely impossible to make a noise. I knew I should scream a warning of some kind, but my voice was frozen. It was like when Crown Prince Munnir took me hostage. Even though I knew I should scream, the memories of how no one had ever answered my screams with anything but a scoff kept me silent. But at least there was one thing different. I had the presence of mind to jerk Sigurd's sleeve, and he thankfully did not question anything. He simply looked up too and shouted a warning as soon as he saw what I saw. That, at least, made it so not everyone was hit when the 'skull's' jaw dropped and the spears of black light rained down.

It was random, as random and whimsical as the wind itself. One beam nearly hit Sigurd and me, but yanked his horse's reins to the side to urge it to dodge and then he rode ahead, wrapped protectively around me to minimize any chances of being it. I clung to his shirt with shaking hands, the screams of terror and pain echoing in my ears, my mind frozen. What was this? What was this?!

There were no answers. Even when Sigurd stopped and turned his horse to check on the others, there were none. All he and I could do was stare in horror as we watched it all unfold. It was... a nightmare. So many were hit, and they tumbled to the ground, screaming and sobbing. Of those who somehow escaped, through luck and luckier dodges, many were thrown because their horses were not so lucky. Others had to desperately maneuver so they did not trample the fallen. Still others ended up pinned by fallen branches and trees, because of course, the spears of light did not discriminate. All of our soldiers… they were…

"Prince Jamke..." Sigurd slowly began, his voice shaking. It took far too much presence of mind to turn and see Prince Jamke was now beside us, staring with wide, horrified eyes. "I don't suppose this is a defense you forgot to mention?"

"Not at all," Prince Jamke replied, his voice trembling just as much. Belatedly, I thought to look and see who else escaped as we had. Mister Finn and Lord Shannan had dismounted, with Mister Finn holding Lord Shannan tightly to keep him from seeing. Lord Oifeye stood next to them, holding both of their horses' reins with his eyes squeezed shut. Mister Dew had collapsed to the ground and covered his ears to block the screaming. Prince Quan... ah, he was with us too. He was just further ahead, his eyes darting this way and that. Was he... looking for the source? "I don't know..."

"Neither do I." Sigurd reached up to grip my hand still clinging to his shirt. I thought he might remove them, worried I was clinging too much, but he simply held my hand to ease their shaking. "Neither do I."

The rain of light stopped just as suddenly as it started and chaos erupted in its aftermath. So many were hurt; so many were dead and dying. An emergency infirmary was hastily set up, really a canvas propped up with some sticks and piles of blankets strewn about so we could get to work. A secondary one for all the other injured was pieced together nearby, but they were treated by their fellow soldiers. They had to be. The ones directly hit by the light... they held all of our attention. Lady Ethlyn, Lady Edain, and I... we could not afford to tend to anyone else, not when the effects were so terrifyingly abnormal and flabberghasting.

They were hit by magic. It was the only logical explanation for the spears of light. I knew this. I had seen this. Yet there were no injuries I expected from a magical assault. There were no burns, no frostbite. There were no gashes with particularly ragged edges, nor was there damage scattering from a single point. In fact, there were no injures save for bruising where some fell from their horses. Instead... instead, they gained fevers. They gained terrible, itchy rashes. They were wracked with a throbbing, aching pain, some with only headaches and others unable to twitch without whimpering. Some vomited a strange black substance. Some complained of sore throats. Some were unable to breathe. It was... an epidemic. Yet magic had struck them, I was certain of it.

I worked tirelessly, treating each symptom as best as I could, even as my mind whirled. What was this? What sort of thing was this? I didn't know. I didn't know, and there was nothing more terrifying. If I didn't know, then could I heal it? If I didn't know, could I save them? The questions weighed heavy on my heart, and the few times I caught Lady Edain's worried eyes or Lady Ethlyn's tearful ones, I knew they felt the same. But I... would not give up. There had to be something I could do. I could not give up just because I was afraid.

"What spirit did we anger for this?" one patient sobbed under my hands. They were one of the worst off, and already close to death. In truth, I probably should give them pain medicines and leave them for the next, but with so few clues on what this was, I... "Worse than when I broke my leg..." Their pain-muddled gaze met mine, and they reached up to grasp my hand. I had been reaching for my staff, but froze at the touch. "...Save the others, my lady... please..."

Two seconds later, their hand fell from mine. Two seconds after that, they breathed their last. I stared for a moment before pulling a blanket over their face, a quiet signal to the others that they had passed, and stepped away. Yet what they had said lingered, and not just the request. Their last complaint... I had heard such a symptom before. I had heard it once... no, twice. I had heard it twice before. This was the third time. That was too many to be a coincidence. I had to figure it out.

It took me some time. After all, there were many, many patients. There were many deaths. As soon as everything was stable, though, Lady Edain and Lady Ethlyn went to rest. Usually, I would remain in the infirmary anyway, too worried to simply leave. Today, though... today, I did not stay. Today, I left as well, changing and washing up in a little tent someone set up for me, with a wash basin and table, before finding spare pen and paper. The first step was to write down everything and...

"Lady Alicia?" Just as I began scribbling down each and every symptom our patients suffered, Mister Finn poked his head into my little tent. "Are you well?" he asked softly, and I could see he was worried. Why wouldn't he be? I rarely left the infirmary. "You were..."

"Am I needed?" I asked softly, not sure how to answer. Truthfully, I could simply be finding a connection without meaning. No, worse, I could simply be hoping for one. But it would not let me be. "Do we have more wounded?"

"No, there are no new ones." He watched me for a moment longer and then looked me right in the eye. There were no questions, no hesitations. "Do you need help?"

"...Can you fetch my bag for me?" Wait. Usually, when I requested such, it was for my medicine bag, not… "I mean my other bag, with my books. I do not know where my things are." I had left them with Sigurd when I rushed to the infirmary, taking only my medicines and staves.

"I'll be right back."

He was. It felt like I had just finished writing everything down before he returned with my bag. He helped me pull everything out, and then stood guard at the entrance. He would tell me if something changed outside, so I could focus solely on this. So I could focus on going through every single book, every scrap of notes I had taken, to find just what I was looking for. It took longer than I liked. I had so many books, and so many notes, and in this case, I was looking for a single needle of words in a haystack of ink. But I wouldn't give up. I couldn't. Ignoring my own ideals, that patient's last request... I would honor it. Somehow or another, I would. So I kept hunting, kept reading, and eventually, I found it. I found it, and realized why it had settle so uneasily in my heart.

These symptoms... matched the plague which had hit Evans last year.

"Lady Alicia?" Mister Finn called to me again, this time because he had noticed my pause. "Did you find what you were looking for?" he asked softly. I nodded slowly, comparing the lists to be absolutely certain. Each one matched perfectly. No wonder no medicine had been effective. It had been no 'plague' at all. The variance in symptoms, though… was it due to resistance to magic? Was there another factor? What sort of spell was this anyway? "Do you want me to fetch anyone?"

"...Might you let Prince Jamke know I wish to speak with him?" If I was right, then I absolutely needed to inform him. If for no other reason than to give him answers, I had to. "I will find Sigurd after checking on the patients. He will need to hear this theory too."

"Of course."

"And Mister Finn?" I hesitantly looked over at him, and saw him tilt his head. "Thank you."

"For…?" He looked honestly confused. "I knew whatever you were working on was important. Why would I not help?"

"I suppose…" I could not think of how to word my thoughts. "I suppose I am thanking you for trusting me."

"Of course. I trust you completely." His eyes shone with sincerity, his expression surprisingly similar to Sigurd's. "Your work ethic and devotion to your duties and ideals is inspiring, Lady Alicia. I greatly admire you for it." He paused suddenly and became surprisingly sheepish. "That sounded different in my head. Um…"

"Hmm?" Now what had him embarrassed? "Ah, we are going to talk in circles at this rate."

"True, so I shall find Prince Jamke. Should I inform anyone else?"

"No, please, just tell him for now. I want to keep this quiet until I have their opinions first." With that said, though, I looked back at the list. I looked back at the notes Evans's previous doctor had made, their meticulous notes of every medicine they had tried and how none had been effective. With all of them eliminated, and with my current knowledge, then the only medicines left to try were... "However, once you have found him, might you tell Lady Edain and Lady Ethlyn to treat this as a poison and administer antidotes?" The only ones left to try were antidotes. Would they finally have an effect?

"Of course." He frowned slightly, though. "Do we have enough for all of them?"

"Thankfully, Lord Oifeye gave me fresh ygg venom glands when we were in Evans, and we have had very few cases of poisons, so there is quite the stockpile."

"And we have them here?"

"Yes." Truthfully, I had brought most of what we had. Of course, I had brought it in case Sandima had resorted to poisons, but if it saved our soldiers now...

"Then I will tell them at once." He smiled brightly. "It shouldn't take long. I know where Lady Ethlyn was, and if she's not still there, I can just follow her yelling at Lord Quan because he refuses to have his wounds checked again." The surprisingly light words startled a laugh out of me, one I quickly muffled, and his smile grew. "Until later, Lady Alicia."

I made a point to wave him goodbye before neatly stacking my notes, weighing them down with my pen to ensure the wind did not blow them away. Once I was certain, I checked on the patients one more time, to make sure nothing unexpected occurred, and then walked as briskly as I could through the camp to find Sigurd. He was… surprisingly hard to find. I had reached the edge of our hastily set up camp before I caught even a glimpse, and even then, I had barely blinked before he was gone, as he had walked out of the camp and into the woods. Without thinking, I chased after him, hoping to catch him before either of us went too far. It… didn't work. He walked quite fast. I had to run to catch up, and I could hear Father Eirik scolding me for it. I suppose I could have called out, but the thought did not occur to me until much later. No one had ever heard my yells, so why would they now? Eventually, though, I finally did catch up and I snagged his sleeve. He jerked and whirled, startled. He even had one hand up as if to strike. But he softened quickly when he realized it was just me. I was more pleased he stopped and I could finally catch my breath.

"Alicia, what are you doing here?" he asked, searching through his pockets for something. He pulled out a handkerchief and passed it too me, letting me wipe the sweat off my face. "Did Quan send you after me?"

"No?" I replied, doing my best to not sound breathless. I needed to be calm. A healer must always be calm. This was much more difficult when my legs keened and my lungs burned, and was not helped when I realized just what had happened. "Why would he?"

"He and I... we had an argument." Sigurd shrugged helplessly. I tried to think if I had ever heard of such a thing. "Well, it's not an argument by most people's standards. Just ours. Both of us misspoke, so I walked away to cool my head before I did something even more foolish."

"Would this theoretical foolishness be less or more compared to wandering into the Spirit Forest, off the path, without a guide?" A healer must always be calm and bite back dryness. Sadly, I only succeeded in feigning the former. "I fear I did not mark the path. I was too busy trying to keep you in sight."

"...Ah." Sigurd looked around, as if truly noticing for the first time just where we had walked. I wondered if he saw anything; I could barely see my hand in front of my face. It was very dark, and surprisingly cold, like no light ever reached here. "Well, actually, this seems like just the sort of foolishness I was trying to avoid."

So, we had the leader of the army and his chief healer lost in the shadows of a forest infamous for how many entered and never returned. Oh dear.

---

Finn

Class: Lance Knight

Skills: Pursuit, Miracle

Holy Blood: None

A commoner by birth who was orphaned in the 'not-wars' with Thracia, he is Prince Quan's squire, and is noted to having a 'knight's heart' that is sincere and resolute in equal measure. He's well-known for his terrible tendency to overwork, as he is well aware of how unusual his circumstances are. After all, the heirs of Leonster do not normally take squires, and it is unheard of for a squire, or knight, to be of common birth.

As a squire, he has many things to learn, and he takes to his lessons quickly. His greatest strength is his uncanny ability to dodge what should be lethal blows, and his ability to strike quickly and efficiently. The result is a knight who will surpass all others, if he has time to gain experience. His seriousness can lead him to not see through ruses, though.

Despite his polite and serious mien, he has little idea how to actually interact with people. In the church, he stayed apart from the other children, and as a soldier, then squire, he devoted himself to his studies and only has two friends: Glade and Selphina. Though given the friendliness of the army, he's rapidly learning how to be social. The other knights refuse to let him be alone for long.

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Author's Note: Something different for Fenrir this time! Though, in this case, it's taking advantage of an interesting Thracia quirk. But we can talk more about that in a different chapter. It's mentioned briefly in game, but the whole reason why Batu agrees to the attack is because he believed Grannvale was going to strike first. I wanted to expand a little on that this time. Oh, and as for the salty tea? Just look up Mongolian Salty Tea. While Verdane doesn't necessarily take a lot from Mongolian culture, Batu and Jamke's names do, so I brought that in. The names of Od's twin daughters come from Norse mythology. I use fairies to explain Astra and Luna, because I can. As for the name of Ayra's best friend? Well, he's more commonly known as a very different name. That's all I'll say for now. Ah, and Ayra's tale (the one Sigurd compares the Spirit Forest to) is based on a story of the mythical Tir Na Nog (or… however it is properly spelled, I do apologize for any misspellings).