12263: Whoever created a porn video about all the voracious shipgirl and shipgirl/human couples then sent it to the Admiral's emails under the subject line "Your Favorite Cooking Show, A Must Watch!"... (REDACTED) is what awaits you. As is (YIKES!) and (SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!)) none of this in a fun way either!
12263a: "But I thought Admiral's liked watching their harems at work."~ Culprit shipgirl
12263b: "For the last time we do not have harems!"~ Admiral Briggs

"AUGH MY EYES!" Those words alone were enough to get Wright racing into Admiral Briggs' office and what she saw was her admiral on the floor next to his desk, clutching his eyes and his mouth open in a wordless scream. Raising an eyebrow, she circled around the desk and took a look at what was displayed on his computer, then promptly pulled back with a cringe. She felt sick just looking at the paused still never mind the whole video. Sighing, she picked up the phone and heard the ding of the intercom coming to life.

"Harder and Iku to the Admiral's office please!"

A few minutes later the two submarines, the former thankfully a female at the moment, entered looking very nervous. "It wasn't us!" They both said.

"I know that's not why I called you here. I need you to look at something for me." Wright pulled up the video. Their reactions varied as they watched. Iku had a lecherous grin on her face that only got larger while Harder was trying to decide if she should vomit or punch the nearest face in.

"Wow!" The subthief finally said.

"I know, so good..." Iku wiped a trickle of drool off her face.

"That's just... wow..." Harder struggled to find the words.

Wright sighed. "Can I count on you two to find the culprits behind this?" She asked.

"Yes ma'am!" Harder snapped too and even Iku nodded vigorously. "As good as this is, there is a time and place for dispensing in the art of lewdness."

Wright was satisfied. The two subs could track down the culprit easily enough.

A few days later the pair returned dragging a semi-conscious Aoba between them. Wright suppressed a groan. She had a feeling. The Japanese cruiser was set down unceremoniously at the foot of Briggs' desk while said Admiral glared at her. Aoba, faced with his ferocious stare, quickly regained her senses. "I only created it for the Admiralty's comfort!"

"Why would you think we'd enjoy seeing this?" Briggs asked.

"You mean you didn't? But I thought Admirals liked watching their harems at work!" Aoba said, confused.

Briggs was fuming. "For the last time we do not have harems!" He shouted. "Now take her away!"

Once Aoba had been taken care of, Briggs turned his attention to an incoming skype call. It was Admiral Richardson. "Well we caught the culprit at least. I'll let Goto decide the punishment for Aoba."

"Good, she needs a tough one after that stunt. I think my eyes and brain are permanently scarred after seeing that." Richardson said.

"How did your girls take it?" Briggs asked.

"Surprisingly well. They didn't appear to be as horrified as some of our human person... Fitz, what are you doing?!" Richardson turned away from his screen for a moment.

"John? You okay?" Briggs had a reason to be concerned. Richardson had more than his fair share of perverts and insanity among his shipgirls. Never mind the actual ships!

"Fitz no, don't you dare- AUGH MY EYES! AND MY BRAIN!" The video feed cut out not long after that which was just as well. Briggs really didn't need to see Richardson's most notorious ship (not shipgirl there's a difference) couple at work.

"I am so glad I don't have to deal with that bullshit." He sighed and too late he realized what he had done.

Medical team to hanger 4. Medical team to hanger 4!

At that base wide announcement, Briggs groaned. His day was just getting started it seemed.

Meanwhile in hanger 4, next to a still open laptop displaying the video that was Briggs' current bane, was Max. The 737 was lying on her belly, gear folded while Archerfish worked near her tail.

"Max, honey you need a hobby!" She said as she yanked on the tip of a banana that had somehow gotten stuck up her (REDACTED). Max whimpered.

Iku, having some idea of what had happened when the announcement came, slipped into the hanger. She leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms, an amused smile on her face.

"Where did you even learn how to do this?" Archerfish muttered, then she noticed the resident pervert. "YOU!" She hissed at Iku who immediately threw up her hands.

"I'm all for teaching lewdness but even I know my students limits." Iku said.

"Then why didn't you stop her?" Archerfish asked. She gave one last yank and out came the banana. Max squealed and staggered to her wheels. "Maybe next time you'll be more careful?" Archerfish asked her as she stroked her nose. Quivering a little, Max nodded.

"If you knew her limits then why didn't you stop her?" Archerfish asked, tossing the banana in the trash and turning to Iku.

The submarine sighed as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "You try stopping 100000 tons of metal and turbofan on a mission!" She cried.