Bleach (c) Tite Kubo
Black and Blue
Scars
Kaien's head feels like an overripe melon ready to burst at any second. His mouth's drier than Hueco Mundo's desert wasteland and his stomach roils from one hell of a bender. The pungent stink of old saké fills his nostrils, which makes him groan miserably while simultaneously fighting down a fresh wave of nausea. Muffled birdsong carries in the distance, but the ordinarily merry little tunes feel like nails hammering into his brain.
With the utmost reluctance, he struggles through his hangover-induced lethargy and peels his bloodshot eyes open to find the world on its side.
In spite of the blissful darkness, he recognizes his chambers deep in the heart of the Shiba compound. They'd definitely seen better days. The scene was a wreck, seeming like a freak whirlwind tore right through them. Additionally, there's the huge amount of empty ceramic saké jugs cluttered about the place in various states of repair, which he had neither desire nor capacity to count right now.
He's on a futon at least.
Well... flopped facedown across one at any rate. It's the marginally more comfortable option than the bare tatami mat. Even if it weren't, he doesn't have the energy to move even a single inch.
Somewhere along the line of his blackout stupor, someone (probably himself) had the good grace to remove his kosode.
The downside to that bit of information is Kaien can spot it in a rumpled pile in the corner, chucked haphazardly in a fit of pique, with his Lieutenant's badge carelessly dumped on top and stained with even more saké. In his drunken campaign to drain every last drop of alcohol in the Shiba compound, he might've thrown up on it at some point... his brain's too fuzzy to recall.
Frankly, with how much he'd been chugging down he probably threw up a lot.
Kaien blinks sluggishly. Curiously enough when he manages to pry open his eyes again, the number of bottles in his room have drastically reduced. The mess is significantly lesser, too. But his uniform and Lieutenant's badge are missing. That makes Kaien lousy for an entirely separate reason: he had expected to have the badge confiscated, but to actually see it missing twists in his guts like an assassin's blade.
Of course, that means he's befuddled when he blinks again and finds his uniform shirt cleaned, pressed and folded on his corner desk with his Lieutenant's badge sitting atop it.
Kaien concludes he must've fallen asleep for quite a while and wonders how long it's been.
Judging by the soft pillow under his face, someone coaxed him onto the futon properly and covered him in a light sheet while he slept off the last of his ill-advised commiserating binge. That same someone was likely responsible for disposing of the rest of the empty bottles.
His windows are open, allowing the light breeze sweeping through his room. By mercy, the blinds are still drawn, preserving the darkness. Yet they sway gently with the breeze, allowing tiny motes of light to dance about the floor and walls.
Rubbing his bleary eyes with the heel of his palm and regretting the last twenty four hours, Kaien finally notices the lacquered brown tray set beside his futon. Sitting at top was a tall jug of water, a filled cup and a plate of bland rice crackers.
Kaien probably couldn't stand much in the way of food right now, but the longer he put off eating something to settle his stomach the worse off he'll be.
Against his better judgement and with a significant amount of effort, pushing through the dizzying headache and queasy spell, Kaien manages to hoist himself up to sit cross-legged on the futon and reach out for the refreshments.
Its slow goings and he has to pause a few times to avoid an accident, but he's about halfway through the jug and the crackers before his chamber doors quietly slide open. A beam of sunlight hits his face and hurts his eyes, he winces away from it feeling a fresh spike of discomfort.
Fortunately, his visitor swiftly enters his room and closes the door behind them.
Once Kaien gets a good look at who it is, his spirits sink like a stone. Shame coils through his guts like a noxious weed.
"I'm glad you're finally awake. Are you feeling any better?" Miyako says quietly by way of greeting, padding across the room and settilng herself down elegantly on the square cushion by his bed.
"M'rning..." Kaien offers a slurred greeting with a half-full mouth, "Or aft'rnoon? Evening? What time is it?"
"10:15 in the morning. On Friday morning." Miyako reports softly.
"Friday?" He echoes incredulously.
Kaien started drinking roundabout supper time on Wednesday. He slept through an entire day? His eyes drift around his room and he's mildly confused to see everything tidy except his futon, barely a thing out of place. Not unlike the mess he'd blearily witnessed earlier.
"I did a bit of cleaning up while you slept," Miyako reveals, there's a reproachful undertone that makes Kaien feel even worse, "I didn't think you'd appreciate the house servants or your siblings to see you like this. Moreover, it couldn't possibly have been comfortable or pleasant to sleep surrounded by all of those empty bottles. I've had your uniform laundered too. Thankfully it doesn't reek of alcohol anymore. With that strong an odor on it, you must've spilt a galleon of sake all over yourself."
"Thank you." Kaien offers, not bothering to hide his embarrassment, swallowing the rest of his cup's contents in one greedy gulp.
Incrementally his headache and stomach are settling down, which itself is a massive relief. He's going a little easier on the crackers though.
Miyako picks up the jug and pours him some more, "Here. Finish your water. Dehydration is as much a cause for your sorry state as your overindulgence the other day."
Kaien doesn't bother arguing and follows Miyako's instructions. He's already ashamed enough being in this wretched state, but for Miyako to see him like this?
"M'sorry..." he apologises miserably, methodically chewing through the bland rice cracker broken up by occasional sips, "Not seein' me at my best..."
"In sickness and in health," Miyako reminds him patiently and Kaien musters a little hum in response, "If I were any judge, I would venture this rather unfortunate episode definitely counts as 'sickness'... You should probably know that Captain Ukitake informed the rest of the Squad you put in to an emergency leave of absence. You're expected to return on Monday."
Kaien processes this warily, "That's... all the Captain said? There wasn't anything else?"
"Were you expecting anything else?" Miyako prompts, a sudden grave concern on her face.
Kaien considers it for a minute then shakes his head slowly.
If there's no whisper of a reprimand then there's no need to trouble Miyako more than she already was. A disciplinary action might still be on the table, but Kaien will open that can of worms when he returns to duty. His eyes drifting to the Lieutenant's badge now resting atop a clean and pressed uniform. Despite the rather tumultuous argument they're engaged in at the moment, Kaien's grateful for the Captain's leniency and to know his rank hasn't been completely stripped away in disgrace.
When Kaien doesn't answer, Miyako politely lets that question drop but that doesn't stop her inquisitiveness, "Of course I know neither of us were scheduled to take any leave for another three months for our anniversary. The Captain's suspiciously tight-lipped about it. Nor are you the kind of man to drink to so recklessly or that excessively. You're usually an exuberant clingy drunk, not..."
Miyako lets the statement trail off, gesturing to their surroundings.
Kaien sets down the cup and half-eaten crackle, hunched forwards, elbows on his thighs and leaning into his raised hands.
"I don't know what to do..." Kaien confesses heavily, "The Captain won't help. Even after I begged him, he'd ordered me to stand down. I refused and he ordered me to take leave."
"Wait... you couldn't mean...?" Miyako sucks in a scared little breath, swiftly scanning the room for any possible eavesdroppers before she leans forward, her voice at a whisper, "You're still investigating that incident? Kaien, you know how dangerous that whole business is. If you're caught-! If the wrong people-"
"It's because I know exactly how dangerous it is that I'm pressing the issue." Kaien declares with an uncharacteristic coldness, "Miya, they're your friends too."
"I know. I love them and I miss them dearly, but performing such reckless actions - Kaien, all of these risks-" Miyako tries to protest.
Kaien pushes on as if she hadn't interrupted, "-And if that bastard Aizen really did experiment on them, I'm going to prove it. The problem is all those stuffy old farts in Central 46 have their heads shoved so far up their collective asses its not even funny. I'm supposed to be the Head of the Shiba Clan, damn it. By their own asinine laws, they're supposed to yield to our authority and grant me an audience. There's no exemption. Their whole purpose, the very function of their office, is to obey us but they've been stonewalling me for two years now! What's the point of having all this supposed politic power if I can't even demand they conduct a single basic protocol? I just-"
Kaien cuts his rant off and lets his eyes closed. He wants to lash out in a rage and destroy all of Miyako's hard work getting these chambers back in some semblance of order while he'd been shamefully inebriated. He tosses his hands up.
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now." Kaien slumps, burying his face in his hands and feeling more defeated than ever.
Miyako cradles his head gently with a resigned sigh, knowing very well it's impossible to change his mind. Kaien leans into her touch, drawing comfort and strength from her presence. "I might know..."
When Kaien lifts his head to gaze at his wife, her hand are around his neck in a vice grip, her thumbs crushing his windpipe. Her fingers dig into his skin with supernatural strength, far more than she should have. His skin tears and runnels of blood run down his neck.
Kaien desperately tries to pry her hands away from his neck, gasping for air and silently pleading with that cold black glare.
Kaien wakes with a start, breathing hard and heart thundering against the wall of his chest.
When he realizes he's in his room at the warehouse, slumped over his desk, he huffs out a frustrated growl scrubbing a hand through his hair.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) it's daybreak so he doesn't bother trying to go back to sleep. Instead he clears away the loose odds and ends on his desk and takes a fresh set of clothes for the shower.
The others will wake up soon. Some might already be awake and milling about while breakfast is cooking. If he remembers correctly, Lisa's on breakfast duty this morning and Hiyori is on watch.
Rose is scheduled to take watch right after, which is probably why Kaien can hear tuneless guitar chords all the way from his room.
Sure enough, as soon as he leaves his room, Kaien can hear the women chatting away downstairs and smell something on the burner. He can't find Rose in the immediate area, which means he's parked himself in a nice far-flung corner with great acoustics. Consequence of which, those atrociously discordant notes bounce off every corner of the warehouse.
Kaien wagers it'll be about ten? No, probably closer to five minutes before Kensei barrels out of his room, threatening to smash that guitar into kindling and garrote Rose with the strings.
Personally, between Rose's electric guitar and Shinji's antique gramophone blaring the same grating jazz tunes on repeat, Kaien prefers the tuneless guitar. Admittedly though, they're about as bad as each other and the decision between them is like being asked to choose between screeching cats and nails on the chalkboard.
The steaming shower water hitting the back of his neck is heavenly and helps ease the tension in Kaien's shoulders, but that haunting nightmare still lingers at the edge of his thoughts.
His gaze lowers to the impale scar on his sternum. There's a corresponding exit wound on his back too. He doesn't really notice them these days, but sometimes the darkened patches of skin catch his eye in the mirror. Especially the scar on the underside of his left arm. Gnarled fingers of darkened flesh stretching up his underarm from his wrist, appearing appropriately enough like a virulent infection.
Permanent reminders of what his idiotic stubborn pride cost him.
Back then, Kaien wanted revenge. He told the Captain (and himself) that he was fighting to avenge the sullied pride of his wife, her men and for his own. But truthfully, that was second to his true desire. On a deeper level that Kaien hadn't admitted to himself for the longest time, he knew he'd wanted to follow her to the grave.
In the end, he'd accomplished nothing. Up to and including botching his own death. The empty satisfaction of vengeance, if it could truly be called that, paled in the comparison to its price. If anything, that single selfish action damned even more people to Aizen's machinations.
As a rule, Kaien prefers not to cling to regrets. His Captain always warned him against that enticing pitfall (which Kaien jokingly repremanded him about), but its hard to argue with the objective assessment of the situation. Buried under a façade of good cheer and his typical goofiness, Kaien harbours an ever-present frustration knowing that had he done just one thing differently, the last sixty years could've steered down a very different course. It'll hound him for the rest of his days. But he can soothe that turmoil somewhat with the knowledge that while he can't fix everything he destroyed, he still had the power to set some things right.
Dried off and in a fresh black long-sleeved shirt and slacks Kaien makes his way downstairs, depositing his dirty clothes in his room on the way past.
"Oi, good timing. Get in here. Grab a knife and a chopping board. I need a second set of hands to cut up the vegetables." Lisa orders as Kaien walks past the kitchen's doorway.
Hiyori's gone so she's either back on watch or chasing down Rose for his rotation. Either way, the Blonde Visored is no where to be found.
Kaien hasn't got much else to do so he doesn't argue. When he's got the board set up, Lisa points out the vegetables, boiled eggs and leafy herbs she wants cut and lays out her instructions. But truthfully, there actually very little meal prep left, "You don't actually need my help with any of this, do you?"
"Nope." Lisa says.
A silence stretches between them while they toil away.
"Not going to ask?" Kaien prompts as he chops the herbs into fine pieces, they were the first thing Lisa needed to finish the stock.
"No point. You wouldn't give me a straight answer even if I did, I'm not going to waste my breath." Lisa responds, adding a pinch of salt and pepper to the pot, "If you want to tell me then you'll tell me when you're ready. Until then, its none of my business."
"Hmm." Kaien hums while mechanically performing his task. He's grateful she doesn't pry.
"Although there's one thing I should tell you. I'm not sure if Shinji or Kensei spread it around but I did manage to speak to Captain Ukitake a couple days ago. He was appropriately shocked it was me calling, but uh... yeah. That happened." Kaien reveals, when Lisa glances at him for an explanation he expands on his point. "One of the Soul Society's Forwrad Vanguard is my former student. I told you about her before; Rukia Kuchiki?"
"The one that skewered you like a kebab. Yes, I remember." Lisa's tone is terse and cutting.
"In her defence, I was possessed. There's fault on all sides, no point holding a grudge. But yeah, her. I saved her during the Arrancar attack the other day." In a sudden fit of pique, Kaien loses his train of thought for a second to rant, "Oh. That scummy Arrancar brat she was facing down? Spiteful little creature was rotten to the core. Tried to use my face to catch the Shinigami unawares."
"Bitch."
Kaien raises his hands with a shrug, "I wasn't going to say it. But here's the thing I can't puzzle out with that whole scenario... with the kind of power the Arrancar brought to bare, that was more than enough to level this entire town while the Shinigami were under their power restrictions. Could've gone full scorched earth before anyone had time to react, but they didn't. With that in mind, what the hell was their endgame supposed to be? Was it testing the level of resistance Soul Society would put up against them or was there a deeper scheme to it?"
"Arrancar frat party holding a dick-measuring contest?" Lisa jokingly remarks and Kaien releases a laugh before he can stop himself.
Lisa raises an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, I'm an overgrown 50 year old with a very immature sense of humour. Moving on. You can't deny for an assault team, it was an abysmal tactical nightmare - what were they trying to accomplish?"
Lisa shakes her head and rolls her eyes, "I don't think either of us are going to get anywhere with idle speculation. But the most obvious answer is to weaken the Forward Vanguard enough for a secondary assault, except the second assault got canned when they realized they'd lost some of their highest ranking fighters."
"First part, I'll agree with. Especially given how roughed up the Shinigami were. And don't even get me started on what those bastards did to Ichigo. There are not enough hours in the day to list off all the ways I'd like to express my-"
"Unyielding apocalyptic rage?" Lisa suggests,
"I was going to go with general dissatisfaction but that sounds way more impressive," Kaien leans on the counter, clicking his tongue while he thinks, "But... holding back an attack out of concern for resources and manpower? That's far too altruistic for someone like Aizen. The pragmatic response would've been to follow up and keep pressing until the defenders were eliminated. In lieu of that, any sane person has to wonder what the hell is going on?"
Lisa moves over to check on the rice cooker, "I'll say it again, any speculation on our part will be exactly that. We could discuss it all day and find ourselves running around in circles. The important part is a second attack didn't come, so the best thing to do for all involved is to remain vigilant. But if we might put this train of thought back on track; I'm guessing you met up with Kuchiki after the fact and borrowed her Denreishinki. Pass me the mushrooms."
"That's exactly right." Kaien confirms, depositing the finely chopped mushrooms into a spare bowl and passing it over.
"And I presume after that you spilled the beans to Ukitake?" Lisa leans aside for a second so Kaien could scrap rest of the vegetables into the pot. She tosses a thumb over her shoulder, "Set the table."
Kaien shrugs, washing his hands in the sink and following her orders. "Pretty much. He was understandably not pleased I'd gone against his orders. Again. But I honestly think he's just happy I'm the genuine article, not some cheap decoy employed by Aizen to screw them all over. And the icing on top? My little reference library remained intact too. Whoopee for us." He frowns grimly, "In light of that, I'm wondering if the Captain might be kicking himself that he hadn't realized sooner."
"How could he have known?" Lisa counters, turning to face him, "You said yourself. You'd kept it secret from him because you didn't want anyone else dragged into your investigation until you had all the incriminating evidence you needed. Logically speaking, if Aizen managed to get us all banished and had no one question it thanks to Kyoka Suigetsu's hypnosis, what makes you think he didn't have similar measures in place to remove problem Captains, irrespective of how esteemed they are?"
"Or problem Lieutenants. I see your point."
Kaien flinches as an uncomfortable thought occurs, "But he has given them over to Kukaku. On one hand, that's great. Absolutely fantastic. She and I came up with that silly little code together. If anyone's going to crack it, its her. On the other hand; Kukaku now knows I'm alive. Ordinarily that would a relief and cause for celebration, but I know the next time I see her I'm going to be kissing pavement and it's highly probable I'll be missing most of my teeth. I'm so looking forward to it... not."
"Hmm. Well if that ever happens, you make sure you let me know first. I'll get the camera and record the moment for posterity." Lisa quips with a complete deadpan tone.
"I'm glad you find the idea of having the living daylights kicked out of me by my baby sister so amusing." Kaien drawls sarcastically.
Lisa snorts, waving a dismissive hand over her shoulder/ "You've mastered high-speed regeneration. You'll be fine, you big whiner."
Kaien rolls his eyes, "You're all heart, Lisa."
"I believe that's your schtick, not mine." Lisa quips, ignoring Kaien's grumbling, but then ponders for a moment, "I have to confess my surprise. Who'd of thought it possible. Sosuke Aizen, a Machiavellian schemer extraordinaire and the man who completely pulled the wool over Soul Society's eyes for centuries, deceived by a thoughtless silly code made up by a pair of children."
"What's that old saying: A genius admires simplicity, a fool admires complexity?" Kaien retorts derisively, "I don't think he believed I was smart enough to come up with something like that. Let's face it, when you look at me you don't exactly associate me with cunning and deceit, do you?"
"I do, actually." Lisa contradicts, setting out the food on serving trays to be placed on the dining table. "But that's because I've known you for a long time. I remember all the wild adventures and yarns your sister used to spin whenever you'd invited me to those fancy weekend get-togethers. Even if only half of them were true, you'd have to be one wily son of a bitch to pull those stunts off."
Kaien chuckles, perhaps sounding a bit too proud of himself, "Well, when you put it that way: Three cheers for a misspent youth then."
"Admittedly, the thing that shocks me more is Aizen didn't somehow find a way to destroy everything in your office, regardless of how innocuous it seemed." Lisa muses while Kaien helps her carry the food over.
"It would've raised too many questions if he'd openly barged into my office to nick my stuff. Knowing Captain Ukitake, he was probably jealously protective of anything with my name on it after I died." Kaien exhales a long deep sign, "The Captain is nothing if not sentimental. Trust me, I'm as surprised as anyone that they were still intact. Bit relieved actually. I half-expected to spend hours on the phone relaying everything from memory."
"Well, you didn't and the ball's in Kukaku's court. Now what?" Lisa prompts.
"All that's left to do is play the waiting game, I suppose." Kaien answers helplessly,
"My favourite." Lisa mutters sarcastically as everyone wanders into the kitchen one by one, taking their seats at the table. "Alright, I'm making tea and Kaien's making the coffee. Who wants what?"
Author's note:
Recurring dreams of his wife killing him... you think Kaien might have a guilt complex?
Edited: 26/4/2023 - Cleaned up the chapter's grammatical errors and spruced up the language a little.
Regards,
Aurora313