Chapter 46: War Stories

Author's Notes

Volume 3! We're finally getting to the good part (and I don't say that lightly).

Also, I'm going to be posting violently from here on out, and then not posting at all. Let me explain: I won't be able to update for a while starting next week, so I'm going to post the four chapters that would be missed starting Thursday. It's basically going to be a chapter nearly every day, frontloading my updates so that everything stays on track for my timeline. Warning you now: there will be a complete two week posting/review drought on my end, so ration out your chapters accordingly. The same is true for my other fanfic, K.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!

In which a bird sits on a Dove, a deep dark secret is revealed in the most dramatic way, and Neo gets beat up for the fourth time.

"So there Cardy and I were, butt naked and face to face with the mutant Grimm," said Valkyrie.

"It turns out the Grimm had set us up. Professor Branwen fell for it like a chump, but I saw through the ruse," said Winchester.

"My genius level intellect was no match for the weak mind of a mere beast. We didn't even lose any aura for the first half of the fight," said Lark.

"Cardin cheated on me for some grussy," said Valkyrie.

"Sky and Professor Branwen got tied together by the crotch and Nora blew herself up," said Lie.

"We got the drop on the mutated Grimm, and beat the pudding out of it," said Valkyrie.

"This fucking beaver Grimm fell out of the sky," said Winchester.

"It was actually a Procyon," said Lark.

"Carnivoran," said Valkyrie.

"PROCYON!" said Lark.

"CARNIVORAN!" said Valkyrie.

"Keep in mind, this whole time I was clothed with the finest dress we could procure," said Lie.

"That's right, Ren was cosplaying as Weiss," said Winchester.

"So the raccoon explains that he and Morrighan – that's Mrs. Not Grimm, by the way – are actually magical Grimm virgins," said Valkyrie.

"She means Grimm maidens," said Lie.

"So, yeah. That's why we captured Morgey-Porgey instead of killing her," said Valkyrie. "Team Castle GO! Renny, get on that ship and fetch us that daughter of a bitch!"

Bronzewing and his team, accompanied by the headmaster, were among the first to greet the rambunctious lot when they'd returned to Beacon aboard their bullhead. While he had certainly reveled in the more intellectual nature of his own assignment, he could not help but envy this adventurous albeit farfetched yarn. Knowing Valkyrie, Bronzewing would be surprised if less than three quarters of it were fabricated.

Ozpin sighed and took off his spectacles. "Qrow, what actually happened?"

Professor Branwen shuddered, his signature flask nowhere to be seen. "I discovered God out in those woods, Oz, and he told me to fuck off and die."

The headmaster was not amused. "And that means…?"

"It means what they said was literally how it went down. Not a single part of that was fake. The kids were naked, then the big guy flirted with the monster, and we beat it by dressing the green one as Winter's sister. That night was a hate crime against brains." He shuddered deeply. "I don't even drink anymore. I've been sober for two days."

"Please, Qrow, if you could keep the melodramatics to a minimum, I'd like to know what actu–"

The bullhead rear doors opened to reveal the evolved Grimm, lying face down against a wide metal gurney being wheeled by Lie. Its snout was muzzled and its limbs restricted by extraordinarily thick chains, but Team Adventure drew their weapons nonetheless.

Arc barked out orders with a fury he rarely possessed. "Pyrrha, fall back and give us some cover fire! Russel, Dove, on me! We'll–"

"Aww, you guys are gonna scare my new puppy." Valkyrie waddled over to the restrained Grimm and patted its head. "Don't worry, her bark is worse than her bite."

Ozpin's cane clattered to the floor. "You…caught it?"

"Yup. We bargained with Azeban, and that little rodent–"

The Grimm furiously struggled. The muzzle muted its growls. "PRRRYN! PPRRRRRRCCCYYYNN!"

"– spilled the beans. We know what Mrs. Morgarita is, we know how she came to be, and we know how many others there are."

Bronzewing gripped Hallshott, not with menacing intent but rather out of rampant fear. "Others?"

"Yup! Four total! Az even told us their names."

"Great," said Thrush. "Let's make it three."

"That's gonna be a hard pass, kiddo. We can't kill 'er. Oz, we've got to talk."

"That we do, Qrow. Team Castle, you've gone above and beyond the call of duty. I'll ask Professor Goodwitch to make a note in your records commending the exceptional outcome of this mission. I'll reach out to the appropriate authorities to see that this Grimm is examined, researched, and terminated appropriately."

Lark interrupted. "She's not a Grimm."

"Sorry, sir," said Valkyrie. "But we made a promise not to kill Morrighan. I'm afraid this old girl's going to have to remain in custody for a little while longer."

"Oz, listen to me," said Professor Branwen. "We cannot kill this thing. Trust me, it would only make things worse."

Nikos scoffed. "What, does it have a family that'll come avenge it?"

Bronzewing tried not to notice Team Castle, save for Lie (whose guns were absent and his hands full with the gurney), reaching for their weapons, hopefully subconsciously. Are they really prepared to defend a Grimm from fellow hunters? This is folly.

"If we don't kill it, we'd have to contain it," Bronzewing reasoned, clinging to the hope that a nonviolent solution was not beyond their grasp. "Grimm and captivity do not mix. They batter themselves against their cages until they either expire from exhaustion or break free. All captured Grimm have mindlessly repeated this self-destructive behavior without fail."

"Not this one," stated Lie. "She's got emotions. I've felt them with my semblance."

"Ren's right," added Winchester. "I felt it too with mine. 'Sides, her aura means she has a soul, and that means she has rights. Until we have enough evidence for a trial, we're gonna have to skip the firing squad."

"Trial? Do you guys hear yourselves?" Arc yelled. "It's a damned Grimm!"

Ozpin raised a hand to quiet his peon. "Qr– Professor Branwen and I shall discuss the situation at length. I'm sure his explanation will be breathtaking, equivalent to how radical what he's requesting is. For now, I'll ask Team Castle to please take the Grimm to Room 303 in the western wing of the campus. Beacon possesses reinforced areas for honing especially destructive semblances that can be converted into emergency holding cells. Head straight over and, please, for the love of the Brothers, don't dawdle."

"This Dumbledore-looking motherfucker is right! Let's split this hot potato and make like a tree!" Valkyrie waved her arm at the Grimm. "C'mon, Morrighan! I'll take you to the cafeteria on the way. Oooh, we all might be able to swing by the dorms and say hi to ya gurl Weiss if she's back! I've got pictures of Ren all jazzed up to look like her!"

Lie's head turned. "Wait, you took pictures?"

Bronzewing watched the quartet parade their Grimm through the bullhead landing bay towards the main campus. No doubt that the student body would deify them and sing their praises for besting the most dangerous Grimm ever seen – and with no casualties on either side, no less. The two members of faculty followed after them, presumably discussing the absurd situation and formulating a possible solution.

"They…stuck up for it?" asked Thrush.

Bronzewing struggled to think of a response. "Team Castle has encountered the evolved Grimm thrice now. Perhaps they developed some incomprehensible affections for it."

"Stockholm Syndrome, more likely, now that they've captured it."

Before Bronzewing could inform Thrush that the phenomenon to which he was referring should actually be called Lima Syndrome, a bird landed on his head. The unexpected fowl hopped twice, primped Bronzewing's hair, and nestled its body into the newly formed roost.

Bronzewing's face scrunched. "Prosperity…new avian ally?"

"Didn't know you were into falconry, Dove," joked Arc. "Or should I say…dovery? Dovery, because…doves. Whoo, that sounded a lot better in my head."

Thrush cringed. "It's not a dove, Jaune. It's not even a rock dove. It's a crow."

"Arc, would you please remove this fowl from its perch atop my head. I rather like my hairstyle and feel that some crow excrement would not be an improvement to it. For Thrush's mohawk, on the other hand…"

"Hey!"

The bird ignored their squabbles and continued to ruffle its feathers against Bronzewing's scalp. Bronzewing gently vibrated the air around his head, hoping the compression waves would dislodge his unwelcome squatter. The harmless oscillations seemed to momentarily disorient the crow, but it regained its footing after a few seconds and seemed to develop an immunity to the effects. Bronzewing ceased the semblance-based vibrations.

Instantly, the bird regurgitated.

None of the discharge landed on Bronzewing, though. Either out of an unwritten avian code of politeness or sheer good luck (Professor Branwen had already left), the small creature angled its head to the side and ejected the contents of its bird stomach off to the side.

Was…Was that a chocolate chip in the small heap of bird retch?

Thrush elbowed Arc. "Vomit…looks like the lark's got something in common with the Arc, eh?"

"Russ, it's not a lark. And how is that any better than my joke?"

"Cuz it rhymed."

Nikos scooped the dazed bird off of Bronzewing's head. "Dove, shame on you! This poor little creature came to you for comfort, and you tried to murder it in its time of need." She caressed the bird's back gently. "Don't worry, little one. Mommy Pyrrha's got you, and she won't let the big bad meanie oscillate your bones any further. There, there."

The bird wrestled itself out of Nikos' gentle caress and dropped to the floor, frantically flopping about. By the time it landed, it was Rose.

It was Rose?

Bronzewing rubbed his eyes, despite knowing full well that such action was meaningless.

There was no bird. There was only his faux girlfriend, sitting on her rear with her legs extended. Team Adventure congregated around her in bewilderment.

"R-Ruby?"

"Sorry, Pyrrha, but you were making it weird! Eep!"

"Ruby, what the fuck?!"

"SoIfoundoutIcanturnintoabirdduringthemissionandthoughtitwoudlbefunny–"

"Rose!" shouted Bronzewing.

Rose froze in her pose.

"If you would please explain what happened–"

"–andthenMommyPyrrhastartedpettingmeandIgotkindofturnedonand–"

"–calmly. And slowly. And without the use of your semblance," he added for good measure.

"I can turn into a bird. It was how I jumped out of the CCT without dying. I got some more practice after the mission, and now I can do it on command."

"Is it your semblance?" asked Ark.

Nikos shook her head. "No, her semblance is turning Grimm to stone."

"Actually, my semblance is moving super-duper fast," Rose peeped.

"So how do you turn Grimm to stone?"

Rose pointed to her face. "Silver eyeballs."

"Ooo-kay? And the crow thing?"

Rose shrugged. "No idea." Her eyes grew stern. "And I'm a rook. You know, like Rhubarb Rook Rose. Yang figured that one out. She always had a good head for noticing those kinda puns, just like the 'Rose' petals when I run."

Arc eyed her with a note of confusion in his voice. "So, you've got three superpowers?"

"So far." Rose shrugged nonchalantly. "At this rate, I'll probably have collected a few more by graduation. It'll probably be something rhubarb related to complete the Rhubarb Rook Rose R.R.R. holy trinity I've got going. Maybe I'll be able to turn into a jam? No, Russel already does that."

"Aren't you kinda overpowered?"

"Don't worry about it," Rose assured. "I'll be nerfed before the start of Volume 4 in this fic." Her eyes bulged. "And I mean, nerfed hard."

Rose turned back into a bird and flew back to Bronzewing's head. This time, he did not attempt to dislodge her cranial invasion. While her beak was physically incapable of producing a smile or any facial expression for that matter, Bronzewing felt that he could literally absorb the raw mirth she was radiating just from his sheer proximity. Rose resumed her light pecking until Bronzewing's hair was rearranged into something of a nest.

Arc pointed out the late hour, so Team Adventure and their resident stowaway rook began their retreat to the Beacon cafeteria for the evening meal. Bronzewing did his best to not sway or rock his head. It felt like the least he could do for his not-girlfriend after unintentionally inducing vomiting.

Suddenly, Bronzewing became aware of a second presence on his head, through both his semblance and his crown's sense of touch. Rose flapped off and hovered in the air when he reached to grab the intrusive object before it rolled away. Bronzewing observed the unknown item to be oblong in shape.

"Dove," Arc rasped. "Is that an egg?"

A suddenly human and quite frantic Rose took off like a rocket in no apparent direction.

"AAAAAAAH! I'M NOT READY FOR MOTHERHOOD!"

Jaune was beginning to regret his choice of mission. It had seemed like such a powerful moment at the time – making demands of the headmaster, proclaiming that they would bring down a criminal, revealing his knowledge of Oz's plans. Now, as other students came back to regale them over dinner their epic stories of world-shaking battles against bandits, apprehending elite Grimm, and stopping the White Fang from destroying an entire city, his team's mission to gather evidence seemed puny.

To make it worse, they hadn't made any progress. As much as it pained him to admit, Cinder was good. Really good. There was no concrete proof to link her to the attacks, any intercepted messages exclusively used codenames to refer to her (the Boss, or sometimes the Big Boss) and her team (Pint Size had nearly brought Russel to tears with laughter), and Ozpin's reassurances that not every mission turned out a huge success had only made it worse. If it hadn't been for Neo's little stunt against Nora, they never would've even known anything was amiss. Jaune shuddered at the thought of Cinder and her team moving about freely to enact their plans.

Except that she was moving about freely to enact her plans, because Jaune was a fraudster. He couldn't hack it in the big leagues with the big boys. Who was he kidding? A few late night training sessions with the headmaster (Note to Self: Never phrase it like that in front of Qrow or I'll never hear the end of the molestation jokes) weren't enough to turn him into a real huntsman. Everyone else around him was still just a student, and he wasn't even that! He'd sparred against his team and lost every single match, because without his little semblance trick, he was genuinely useless. If it weren't for the teammates depending on him, he would've seriously reconsidered his vocational choices.

It was evening now, and the fading light of the sun did nothing to improve Jaune's morose temperament. Pyrrha and Dove seemed to be equally despondent after a day of hearing how much fun everyone else had. Even Russel, now absorbed in his own thoughts, was uncharacteristically out of it.

Penny Polendina approached him as he picked at his dinner with a fork. Jaune didn't know her very well, but Ironwood had informed him that she was some kind of robot, and a candidate for maidenhood. Wonder what she's got to say to us.

When she got to Jaune, she turned around.

"FRIEND WEISS," she called out across the cafeteria. "I AM A ROBOT."

Across the room, Weiss sat up and blinked.

She turned back around to Jaune. "Friend Team Adventure. Now that Friend Weiss has been informed of my secret, I may share it with you. I am a robot."

"No way."

"Woah."

"Shocking."

Dove apparently hadn't got the memo spat out his carbonated water. "YOU'RE A WHAT?"

"A robot. A gynoid. An artificial aura generating being capable of self-propulsion, intelligent thought, and combat."

Wait, why didn't Pyrrha and Russel react–

A wild Nora appeared. "Woah! You're a droid? Do you have blaster cannons?"

"Yes I do! I am combat ready, Friend Nora."

Where there was Nora, there was an avalanche of stoic nerds.

"How did you come to be?" asked Ren.

"What's your power source?" asked Sky.

"Faunus aren't really people, right?" asked Cardin.

"To answer your questions: my father made me in Atlas, a perovskite battery, and just stop."

"Combat ready?"

Jaune tensed as he heard the familiar voice.

"Yes, Friend Cinder. I am capable of over 14 different forms of hand to hand martial arts, I possess reflexes equivalent to a supercomputer, and I have access to the entire Atlesian academic database."

"Hmm, the entire Atlesian database? That must come in handy."

"Yep! This includes one million hours of archival combat footage for reference, military strategic doctrine to aid me in tactical planning, philosophical works to convince me that violence is never the answer, and [Redacted]. As you can see, I am–"

"–combat ready." Jaune didn't have to even look at Cinder to see her lips curve into a maniacal smile. "How positively informative you are, young lady. You must be the pride of Atlas. Are you competing in the tournament?"

Penny smiled innocently. "Absolutely! My team consists of myself, but I hope to meet many new friends as I…"

Jaune decided it then and there. Cinder was going to die, painfully. He was going to see to it that her life ended in the most agonizing way possible. Perhaps he'd burn her alive with her own semblance, or maybe Pyrrha could stick her full of so many knives she'd be unmistakable from a pincushion. For Team Castle, for Penny, for Ruby, for everyone that had suffered because one woman hungered for unattainable power and made a deal with a dark goddess whose evil she couldn't comprehend.

You might feel strong, Cindy, but so did your Grimm, and it's rotting away in a classroom-turned-cell. You people are no longer untouchable.

Smile while you still can.

Cinder adored Penny Polendina. Not only was she an open book about herself and her apparent one-woman team (and to think, people criticized Lionheart for 'bending the rules' with Team CE), but also a willing fount of knowledge about every 'Friend' she knew. If only every enemy could be so forthright.

"…used to have a rapier, but now possesses a pickaxe named Schachmatt."

"A pickaxe? How quaint. I'm sure there's a story behind that."

Arc was watching, but what could he do? Nothing untoward here – just Penny talking with her 'Friend Cinder.' It was unsettling that he'd zeroed in on her, but the blonde boy was more a nuisance than a real threat. Cinder Fall was not going to be stopped by the likes of him. As she was now, she'd surpassed those around her to the point that nothing truly intimated her – not even legendary huntsman extraordinaire Ozpin would be a match for her, if they came to blows.

Just to be safe, Cinder directed the conversation towards some more mundane topics, like how Penny was getting on in Vale. It wouldn't do to fish for information so obviously and risk alienating other students or have them suspect her and clam up in her presence. Penny was useful, but this was war, not a battle. Short term gain could not be indulged at the expense of the grand goal. Pardon the pun, but Vytal was vital, now more than ever. Cinder had heard of some plucky team of huntresses stopping the White Fang in Mountain Glenn. Those little upstart brats should enjoy their time in the limelight while it lasted – they'd be nothing more than a side note when Cinder Fall when down in history. No one outshines me.

"…Friend Weiss's heartrate increased, her pupils dilated, and she became hypersensitive to her surroundings."

Damn, the robot was going on about something. Cinder feigned interest and bullshitted. "Sounds like quite the fight."

"Yes, the Faunus woman oil wrestling her human enemy in that video certainly was a match for the ages. Friend Weiss was quite invested in the outcome of their fight. She paid special attention as the fight approached its climax, and the combatants approached their climaxes."

The Schnee spit out her drink.

Penny continued, unaware. "Also, an unusually tiny woman possessing an illusory semblance tried to murder us."

Cinder tensed, and Penny waved her hands in the air. "Fear not, Friend Cinder. Friend Weiss was sure to drown her before she could disrupt our evening."

The cat Faunus had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver as the Schnee began to choke to death on her beverage.

"Tiny woman? Just how tiny?"

"About as short as Friend Cardin is tall. Or racist."

Neo.

"Well, this has been riveting, 'Friend Penny,' but I'm afraid I have to retire for the evening. A visage like mine does need its beauty sleep."

"I too shall retire. A battery like mine does need its beauty recharging."

Cinder bulldozed through random nobodies as soon as she was out of the cafeteria. They were between her and her objective, and their asinine protests did not matter. The leader of Team Caiman was on the warpath.

The door to her room flew open. Mercury and Emerald shut up whatever churlish dispute they were going on about when they saw the flames pour out of Cinder's hands. Neo looked up from her bowl of ice cream as it turned to goop from the approaching heat. The mute opened her mouth in nonverbal protest, but Cinder wrapped her fingers around her throat. The impish look on Neo's face disappeared.

"I'm going to speak, and you're going to nod or shake your head. Clear?"

A nod.

"The Atlesian robot and the Schnee bitch. Did you try to kill them?"

A nod.

Cinder tried to formulate another question, but there wasn't anything more to ask. The little maniac had gone and tried to off someone without considering the consequences. Case closed.

The smell of burning flesh filled Cinder's nostrils. Cinder didn't have to worry about damaging her little minion, though, since Neo's vocal chords were already broken beyond repair, but killing Neo would've been too far. Her rage was blinding, but common sense had to prevail. Besides, the team was watching.

Cinder calmed herself and released Neopolitan. The girl fell to the floor, terror in her mismatched eyes. Good – she knew what Cinder could do if she tried something like this again.

"Emerald, I thought I said to get them under control for the tournament. Blatant murder in the streets is not under control."

"I tried, ma'am. I wasn't aware of this."

Cinder nodded and excused the green haired girl with a wave of her hand. Blaming every little issue on her would only undermine Cinder's leadership. Delegation was all well and good, but at the end of the day Cinder had to be the one to get the leash her team. Plus, she couldn't stay mad at Emerald.

To Neo, she shot a frosty glare. "I don't want you to harm a hair on those girls' heads, Neo. I thought that you would've had some manners beaten into you in whatever gutter you crawled out of, but it appears you need to learn to play nice. So, I think it's time we set you up with a little…playdate."

Neo paled.

Eighteen lives lost. Sixty four in custody.

Two measly dead humans to show for it.

This was not the way things were supposed to go.

Adam surveyed the wreckage from a distance, wearing a blindfold rather than his mask. The Sheriff and the deputy were both dead, but all surviving hunters were on the prowl. They would only remain on high alert for a few months, but there wasn't enough time to recruit enough soldiers or gather enough weaponry before the Amity cell played their hand. Adam always preferred his Mountain Glenn plan that was so contemptuously called a backup, but now he found himself hoping that they'd actually pull it off at Beacon, if only so that the White Fang wouldn't walk away from Vale emptyhanded.

There was one other hitch. Blake had been there.

The sight of his wayward partner brought pain far beyond that of any searing hot SDC brand driven into his skull. After everything that they'd been through together, she thought she could just…just…show up like nothing had ever happened – and then run off again. Her place should've been by his side, ruling the Fang together, not off at Beacon playing hero.

She loved him. He knew it. Blake Belladonna adored Adam Taurus. They were soulmates. It was meant to be. She was destined to be his.

Soon, Blake would be back with Adam.

Soon.

Omake

Bronzewing: I'll support you no matter what, Rose. We're in this together. Now, have you made a decision?

Rose: Lovey Dovey…I want to keep our child. I want us to raise our little eggie baby together as lawfully birded huntsman and huntress!

Bronzewing: What'll we name it?

Rose: I was thinking Chocolate Chip Cookie for a girl or Chocolate Chip Cookie for a boy.

Bronzewing: I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Rose: You're right, CCC is better for a younger sibling. Let's lay another.

Next Chapter: Playdate – In which the little kids have some fun while the mature adults get down to their mature adult business.