Author's Notes

Warning: If you read any dialogue from Penny, please be prepared to have stroke and die. That is all.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!

Chapter 84: The Ten Things Jaune Did

In which Ruby, Bronzewing, Jaune, and Weiss take to the skies.

The first thing Jaune did was scream at the top of his lungs. He might've felt proud of his lungs to have that kind of depth and air capacity if he weren't busy being carried off by a Grimm dragon.

The second thing Jaune did was scream again, but his throat was ridiculously aching by this point, so it didn't last half as long.

"Please stop. That hurts me too."

The third thing Jaune did was pee his pants.

The fourth thing Jaune did was collect his wits and analyze the situation like the fake huntsman he was. The dragon could've killed him at any moment, so he probably wasn't in any immediate danger. He was safe for now, or at least as safe as one could call oneself when they were miles away from land being carried by a giant Grimm, most likely about to be fed to Grimm dragon hatchlings for lunch and/or hunting practice.

"This might actually be a good thing. Rather, this might not be as bad as it seems."

The fifth things that a now calm Jaune did was to realize that he'd finally been reunited with Ruby and Dove, both risen from the grave.

The sixth thing that Jaune did was cry.

It was divine providence. It was a miracle. It was everything Bronzewing had ever prayed to the Brother Gods for.

Arc was alive.

It should've been impossible…but he knew that it wasn't. He'd never considered that he wasn't alone, just because such thoughts felt like naught but denial and wishful idiocy.

Thrush had been killed; Schnee had seen it happen and reported the incident to Bronzewing in person, kindly sparing him the details. Nikos…he'd never forget the time he saw what had befallen her. It was a mental image that still made him ill. But they'd never found Arc's body. It seemed so obvious at the time that Arc had died, likely fallen protecting his lover. Bronzewing had briefly entertained the notion that no body mean a chance his leader was still alive, but the moment passed, and it felt like a desperate attempt to reject reality.

But here he was. Jaune Arc, in the flesh. Bronzewing heard the familiar, lovable, goofy, high-pitched voice that he'd thought was lost to him forever. When his aura recovered enough to see, Bronzewing perceived the face, the damn beautiful face of his dear friend. Honest to the Brothers, he would've kissed Arc full on the lips if the two of them weren't caught between different claws of this Grimm dragon.

"H-How?"

"Dove, I'm so glad to see you. Oh, and Ruby! I thought you guys were gone!"

"Jaune, we thought that you were the dead one!"

"What's going on? Where have you been, Arc?"

"Oh, isn't that the story. I barely escaped Qrow's rampage with my life, I sailed the high seas while hunting an assassin, I became the temporary commander-in-chief of the White Fang…holy shit, Summer! Er, Raven! I mean, Ruby! Ruby's mom is alive!"

"I know!" Branwen squealed excitedly. "And so are you! This is the best!"

The dragon roared.

"Well maybe not the…actually, yeah. Yeah, it is the best. You're back and Mom's back. Dragon or not, it's super duper the best!"

Branwen's excitement was contagious, and for once in his life, Bronzewing found his stoic demeanor dissolving as he smiled like a loon. "It is most definitely super duper the best!"

"But you guys! Didn't Cinder kill you?"

Bronzewing paused. "Arc, what exactly do you think happened the night you disappeared?"

"As I understand it, Cinder finally put her plan into effect and killed Team Rainbow via the White Fang, or maybe in person. You and Russel tried to stop her, and it cost you your lives. Qrow lost it when he heard the news, blamed Ozpin, and killed him. He also murdered Pyrrha to cover it up. I only survived because…because…someone helped me escape."

Bronzewing looked to Branwen, who was frowning. "Jaune, my uncle would never do any of that. He's not a killer. Well, he is a killer, but only for bad guys."

"Were you and Professor Branwen not close allies?"

"Yeah, but hearing that his nieces were dead…drove him…crazy. But you're not dead. Yang's not dead. W-What exactly did happen that night?"

Ruby couldn't explain Pyrrha and Headmaster Ozpin's death, but she gave Jaune the full rundown on Blake's betrayal. Jaune stayed silent the full time.

"…so me and Bronzewing went to Haven to get some answers and find out why we lost so many people that night. Things got a little hectic on the way, but we made it in one piece! Now's we've got this magic relic, and I'm a double maiden. Oh, also magic is real."

Jaune didn't react.

"Arc? Have you nothing to say?"

"You said…I know it was on the news, but you assured me…no, you said you fought him off!"

"Jaune?"

Ruby couldn't see, but she could feel the air around his mouth move faster as he began to breathe heavily. Bronzewing was closer to Ruby, and he leaned over to her and whispered so low that Jaune wouldn't be able to hear.

"Is Arc talking to himself?"

"Well, he's been through a lot."

"Damn you, Oz!" shouted Jaune, oblivious to their dialogue. "This is important! You said you saw Qrow killing them! You…yes, this does matter! She mattered to me!"

Ruby cleared her through. "Jaune…"

"Just one sec, Ruby. Ozpin. I want a straight answer. How did Pyrrha die? How did you die?"

"He's talking to a dead guy," Ruby whispered. "Yeah, I think it's safe to say he's lost his marbles."

"Mayhap there is another explanation. Before Nikos died, she began to exhibit some unusual behaviors. She'd lose track of herself, remember things that hadn't happened to her, and speak as though she were someone else."

Ruby understood what Bronzewing was getting at instantly. "Brain parasites! They passed to Jaune when he made out with her and now it's–"

"I was thinking that the answer was less worldly and more arcane."

"Magic?"

"That is my belief. Ozpin was a headmaster, like Lionheart. Perhaps he controlled a vault beneath the school and had access to one of these relics. Who knows what its powers were? The relic of knowledge entered your mind. Perhaps the one in Vale transferred minds, or some such thing…"

To her chagrin, Ruby had entirely forgotten that there were three other relics. But hey – they had Jinn, and two questions! All it took was the magic word and she'd have an answer on what the relics did and how to uno reverse their effects on Jaune. Of course, she was dangling from a dragon's clutches above the open ocean, so maybe Jinn could wait a little bit.

"Jaune…"

"I won't let this go, Oz."

"Jaune?"

"I swear, I'll scour through your memories and tear it out if I need to."

"Jaune!"

Ozpin wasn't talking, but Jaune knew. When the old man refused to answer, that meant he was hiding the worst thing possible. His empty platitudes that the truth was too gruesome and painful for Jaune to bear meant nothing.

Ozpin had killed Pyrrha.

The most painful part was that he'd introduced Pyrrha to Oz. He'd put her in a place where she'd gotten killed. Even back when he thought Qrow was the killer, it had still been Jaune's fault.

The seventh thing Jaune did, as painful as it was, was force all thoughts of Pyrrha, Ozpin, and that wretched night out of his mind. Justice would come for them later, but Dove and Ruby were here now. Jaune owed it to them to not spoil this moment.

"S-Sorry, you guys. I only just found out that the others were alive, and…things haven't been easy without anyone else."

"The others?"

"Yeah. Yang, Weiss, and Penny were with me in Haven. I'd wager that they're probably picking their brains right now, thinking of a way to rescue us."

"Well then," Ruby said with a grin. "We ought to make their jobs a little easier and rescue ourselves first."

"Even if we could slay this beast, it would do us no good," said Bronzewing, stating the obvious. "The fall alone from such height would kill us, and any survivors would find themselves sinking to a watery grave out in the open ocean."

Ruby wasn't even sure she could kill the dragon, even with her silver eyes and maiden powers. It was just so…huge! The magic that was inside of them was something she was getting better at detecting, and now she was good enough to just make out where it started and where it ended. The dragon had to be as tall as a CCT tower from head to tail, with a wingspan even wider.

"Can we signal for help?" asked Jaune. "Let others know where we are?"

"Do you have a scroll?"

"Nope. You guys?"

"No."

"Negative."

"Dove, if I boosted your aura, could you scout the area? Check for any signs of human life nearby? Maybe we're lucky and there will be a fishing boat or something nearby."

"There will not be. Not where we are going."

Ruby started in shock as the voice boomed, but it somehow wasn't frightening in and of itself. Unlike the other horseman, it was not a growling or a hissing or a whining. This voice sounded humanoid, just loud. It was rich and quite sure of itself, almost like Professor Port had been given a humungous loudspeaker, but it didn't carry a hint of anger.

Ruby raised a hand. "Um…Mister Horseman?"

"Kraken."

"Mister Kraken, where are you taking us?"

"To the castle. To Salem."

The ninth thing Jaune did was to decide whether he should be terrified or ecstatic. Salem would flay the skin from his living flesh if she got her hands on him, and he sort of needed his body to remain intact in order to not die. On the other hand, he'd been struggling to get to Salem for so long. Perhaps the Brothers were rewarding him for his struggles with a ticket straight to her.

"As I said, we can use this to our advantage. It might not be so bad."

The only problem was that it was a one way ticket. Even if he somehow managed to de-immortalify her and survive the army of her Grimm that awaited him at her castle, he'd be stuck in the Grimm wastelands. Heh, perhaps Mister Kraken-Dragon would be nice enough to give him a ride back.

"Jaune, I hate to suggest it, but I believe it may be in our…um. Ok. Look. It may be in my best interests if you don't try to make up an escape plan."

Finally coming out and admitting it?

"Yes. I've lied to you so much that my word has ceased to mean anything to you. Now, I shall give you the truth. We will get one shot at this. Salem believes herself invulnerable, but if she realizes that we have a plan, she'll throw every Grimm from here to Vacuo at us. If we hold back for any reason, all is lost, and I mean ALL. What you hold in your hands is literally the fate of mankind for all eternity."

I know. Damn it, Oz, I know.

"I'm not saying we shouldn't try to escape. I'm just saying, it would be better if we made the best possible plan to strike at Salem without considering what comes next, rather than make a plan that balances attacking her and then fleeing. Once her immortality has been expunged, getting out can be an afterthought, but we cannot jeopardize–"

I get it. I have to throw myself at Salem without holding back or worrying about the aftermath. I'm not going to chicken out or risk missing my shot because I'm afraid of dying. I chose the life of a huntsman. I'm ready.

The tenth thing Jaune did was accept that this was a one way trip for him.

"Mister Kraken–"

"Kraken."

Bronzewing noted that the dragon's mouth did not move when it spoke. Was this one telepathic? No, that wasn't it. Gill flaps on its neck would fold when it spoke. Fascinating.

"Who is Salem?" Branwen asked.

The answer was filled with pride. "The queen. The goddess. The eldest one. She commands the horsemen, having created us and entrusted us with her grand mission. She shall be the one who leads us to victory."

"She's a monster, Ruby," spat out Arc.

"Lies. Slander. Deceit. She is perfection. Rejoice, for you shall soon bear witness."

"You sound like Creepy…"

"Callows, if that is to whom you refer, was misguided in many a way, but his praise for Salem was not undue."

Apparently, Branwen and the Grimm shared friends. As always, Bronzewing was out of the loop. Whether it was Team Adventure's secret escapades with the headmaster or Team Road's brief separation, there was never a time when he fully understood what his teammates were talking about.

Perhaps I should simply ask. This Grimm seems in a talkative mood.

It couldn't hurt to try. "Why are you taking us to this…Salem?"

"Salem wishes to deal with the girl in person. I grabbed the other two of you by mistake and did not realize until it was too late to turn back."

"Are you going to kill us?"

"I shall do as ordered by my queen. She may spare you. Perhaps you are to be the second iteration of Callows, boy." The dragon snorted as though that was some humorous concept.

"Who is Callows?" Bronzewing asked Branwen.

"Creepy? He was the guy that kidnapped me and poisoned you."

"Tyrian Callows. He is dead, as is Adam Taurus. Neither man was fully sane. We are better off without the both of them."

"Oh, Angry's dead? That's a shame. He seemed like he might've had a change of heart at the end."

The dragon's nose let out a snort so large Bronzewing could sense the moist air ahead of its snout."Do not mourn him, girl. He does not deserve your sympathy."

How exactly is this going to work? Let's make our game plan before we land.

"Salem's immortality is not true immortality such as that granted by the pools of light. That would make her truly unkillable, permanently. The God of Light simply wove light energy into her soul, making her indestructible. It was something of a rush job, or so I'm led to believe, and it is not without its vulnerabilities. She cannot be killed as long as this light remains, so our goal is to absorb the dark energy in the pools of darkness, the source of all Grimm, tie it to your aura, send it to her, and cancel it out. Salem will hopefully become mortal once more, as energies cancel one another out. We need not kill her, as she would expire at the end of a normal human lifespan, but we may as well, if the opportunity were to present itself."

Didn't she fall into the Grimm pools? If she's already fallen in, how would this be any different?

"The Gods balanced her light with the damning darkness she chose to immerse herself in during a grab for power. Both exist, and each energy longs to destroy the other, but the God of Light granted them a tenuous harmony, one as stable as a house of cards. As no godly light or darkness has pervaded her soul, it has remained untouched since their regrettable departure all those centuries ago. If we can unbalance them…"

I take it darkness is bad for me.

"It gave her powers comparable to a god, but make no mistake, it will kill you. She only survived because the gods took pity on her, fished her out, and wove immortality into her being to prevent her from dying. As soon as you are sure that she is mortal, you must exit the pools."

I don't need to touch people to use my semblance on them, but I don't know if it'll be different for darkness instead of aura. How close do you think she'll have to be?

"I…I do not know. Truth be told, I do not know if this will do anything. It's simply a theory I've constructed based on Salem's description of her powers to me, back when we were on good terms. I'm so sorry to ask you to do this when there is no guarantee that it will even work."

…but it's worth the risk, even if you're not sure. On that, we concur. It's like rolling a hundred sided die, with one face labelled as the trillion lien prize. Low odds, but the reward is just too astounding to pass up.

"If you'd prefer, I can be the one to do it."

No. I'm more familiar with my own semblance. Like you said, we can't risk anything.

"Agreed. I'll continue to advise you from here on out, Jaune, but I shan't try to seize control or anything like that. Infighting would ruin it all."

Oz, if we do miraculously make it out of this alive…

"The first thing we shall do is look into getting me out of your head. On this, you have my word."

I'm not sure how much that means, especially after Pyrrha.

Jaune struggled to not let his anger seep through. They'd have plenty of time to be mortal enemies. Just once, though, for this one last mission together, he'd put up with Oz.

For Ruby.

For Team Adventure.

For Remnant.

"Arc. Arc! Awake, for we have need of you!"

"It's no use. Jaune's in some kind of trance, Bronzewing."

"In that case, it is up to you and me, Branwen. We shall need to draw up a landing strategy."

Arc nearly awoke from his daze at that, but he immediately recommenced his mumbling. Bronzewing knew not how to deal with his faraway commander, so he ignored him. Leaning closer to Branwen, he whispered quiet enough to escape the dragon's eavesdropping.

"As much as it pains me to admit, I am not a leader. I lack the skills proper for authority. You and Arc are the ones who must superintend our operations. When we arrive before this Salem, what shall we do?"

Branwen looked up at the dragon. "We can't brawl our way out of this one. This dragon alone would be too much, and I bet she's got more people waiting for us in her home base."

"So we flee?"

"How? We're miles from land. Unless you have an airship in your shirt pocket, we're stranded."

"So what can we do?"

"Between Blake, Creepy, Angry, Dr. Science-stache, and all the others, Salem's had so many minions in the past that I doubt her only way in and out of this place is by dragon. She's got to have some kind of transportation – bullheads, tugboats, a choo-choo train, even a gosh-darned rocket, it doesn't matter what. Look for a dock or hangar on the way in. When we land, we either sneak away or fight ourselves free at the first chance, double back to our glorious chariot, whatever form it may take, and head back to Haven at top speed."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Also, we need to cut the wings off this big boy." Branwen slapped the dragon's claw.

Bronzewing felt his stomach curdle. "W-Why?"

"We don't have a chance of outrunning us if it decides to chase us, so we make sure it can't. It's too big to dodge, which means I won't miss when I unleash everything I have on it – both silver eyes and maiden powers. That ought to be just enough to break its aura. After that, I'll be too weak to fight. You or Jaune will have to cripple it."

"O-Okay. As you command, team leader."

"Aw, shucks. It's just me, Ruby."

"Don't sell yourself short, my friend. You've taken us further than I'd ever thought possible. You, Ruby Branwen, are a compleat and all-around masterly team leader. The finest there is."

"Ruby, you dunce! You absolute dolt! You brainless moronic nincompoop! Just when I thought you couldn't get into any more trouble…"

The sky was darkening as Weiss flew in Penny's arms after the dragon. The huge monster had a comfortable head-start, but Penny was doing an excellent job of keeping up with it. It was kind of weird – there was no way it could be night already, but Weiss couldn't for the life of her point out the sun. Just what was this place they were headed to?

Weiss shook her head. "Penny, when we catch that little girl, I swear to the Brother I'm going to bend her over my knee and spank her. I actually will, unironically! Getting kidnapped by a freaking dragon is the quintessential damsel in distress scenario…how does that even happen?"

"Perhaps you can ask the dragon that would be a dragon, Friend Weiss. Then, we shall know about why Friend Ruby and Friend Dragon know why we are those."

"Exactly, I…wait what?"

Penny stared at Weiss blankly. "Don't we think that Friend Ruby is the Friend who is the Friend who is the Friend is, Friend Weiss?"

"Penny, are you feeling alright?" Weiss looked over the green-eyed girl with concern. Nothing appeared physically wrong with her, but her face seemed to be entirely stuck in one neutral, vaguely pleasant expression.

"I am feeling like a person who feels like a person who I am feeling like, Friend Weiss."

"D-Did something happen to you before the White Fang army got to Haven, Penny?"

"Friend Cinder launched an arrow that launched an arrow that launched an arrow that disrupted several of my systems with an arrow that disrupted several of my system. It would appear that a number of microscopic glass shards have entered into microscopic glass shards."

Weiss blinked and looked over Penny's shoulder at her back. The portal was stuck open, and none of the typical swords were present. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, there is not. I believe that it will be several seconds before it will be several hours before it will be several days."

Weiss struggled to make sense of what Penny was saying. "Several…is something going to happen at a certain time?"

"The shards are interfering with the parts of my system that are interfering with the parts of my system that ensure standard operation. It will be several days before it will be several days before it will be several days."

"Penny, please. Are you going to be okay?"

"It will be several days before it will be several days before I experience complete system shutdown."

Weiss' blood froze. Penny was…dying?

No. No, that was unacceptable.

"Surely there must be something you can do? I…you…your father! He built you! He can fix you!"

"He must certainly can fix you, Friend Weiss. Unfortunately, your memory banks are among the damaged systems. To repair you, he would have to wipe them clean, Friend Weiss, erasing all memory you possess of who you are. I do not believe you would want that. I believe you would rather permanently shut down than look upon your best friend's face and not recognize her."

"Well, I can call Whitley. He can pay for the world's best scientists to assemble and fix this and–"

"Father and the doctor are the only people competent enough to even understand my circuitry, let alone understand it. The problem is compounded by the fact that the doctor is compounded by the fact that the doctor is deceased from when I deceased him. There is no one who can fix me, Friend Weiss. It will be several days before it will be several days before–"

"NO! You're my best friend, Penny! I won't just give up on you so easily. Let's change course to Atlas. Your father can at least take a look at your."

"I cannot, Friend Weiss. We must follow Friend Ruby to follow Friend Dragon to follow Friend Ruby to Salem's castle. There is not enough time to follow Friend Ruby instead."

Weiss tried to calm her turbulent mind as they shot through the air after the Grimm dragon.

Remember your lessons, Weiss. Be smart. Don't panic. Analyze the situation like the Schnee businesswoman you are.

Penny was damaged. To prevent her death, she'd have to be repaired.

No, you're being too specific. Start broader. Consider every option.

The problem was that Penny was dying. The goal was to find a way to keep her alive, no matter how.

The most obvious solution was to fix Penny, but that was impossible…according to Penny. Weiss wasn't sure if Penny was telling the truth or trying to make Weiss prioritize Ruby's safety, but it wouldn't do to waste valuable time nitpicking. For now, she had to assume Penny's body was damaged beyond repair.

…but Penny's synthetic gynoid body itself didn't matter. Her father could build her a new one, and if not, Atlas had an army of androids that they could upload Penny's memories into. All that mattered was saving Penny's thoughts and consciousness. Perhaps there was a backup?

"Penny, do you keep any duplicates of your memories? Like an external hard drive with backups or something?"

"I deactivated the backup systems after I deactivated the backup systems after I deactivated the backup systems after the deceased doctor uploaded deceased additional friendship files. It was too high a risk that Father or the General would come across Father or the General and realize that Father or the General were allegiant to Father or the General."

So, the only instance of Penny's memories was stored onboard her robot chassis, and those were damaged to the point of inevitable inoperability.

Damn it. Damn it all, stupid fucking – no, stay focused. Focus on Penny. Stay focused, Weiss. Don't make this about your emotions, keep it about fixing the problem.

Could the glass be removed? Even if it could, the damage would persist.

Jaune had a healing semblance, but that wasn't necessarily going to work on Penny's artificial body.

Semblances might be the right way to go about this, though. Was there anyone with a memory semblance? Weiss had heard of people with powerful mind reading and telepathic abilities. Perhaps someone could copy Penny's mind and back up the data in their own head. Then, when Penny's father built a new Penny, he or she could offload the original Penny's memories into the new machine.

It was a good plan, but it had holes galore in it. There may not be someone with such a semblance, and there was no telling if they could copy someone's entire mind. Plus, they'd have to have the power to take memories and give them out. Also, powerful semblances tended to be more aura consuming – Ruby could all but stop time, but she'd drain her aura within seconds if she overdid it. If there even was someone willing and with a mind reading semblance, they might not be able to read Penny's full mind before their aura ran out. Of course, they could wait until it regenerated and…try again…

Aura…

The machine!

"Penny, the aura transfer machine! The one Raven used! We could move your soul into another body!"

Penny tilted her head for a second and considered it. "Which body?"

"A healthy body. One that you could live in without losing your memories."

"Allow me to clarify. Whose body?"

"Well, anyone's."

"And who be willing to be willing to give up their body? My memory banks are equivalent to my memory banks are equivalent to a human brain. It is likely that any human soul inside my robotic body would rapidly develop memory loss disorder."

Weiss wasn't going to give up just like that. "An old person. Someone who's already got memory loss."

"Then I would inherit their faulty body as they would inherit their faulty body as they would inherit mine."

"How about a criminal, then? Someone evil, like a serial killer or a rapist?"

"The ethical implications–"

"Penny, screw the ethical implications. You deserve to live."

"I still do not feel like it is the right thing to feel like it is to do…"

Desperate times called for desperate measures. Weiss didn't want to play this card, but if it meant Penny would get to have a life…

"Penny, we're best friends. Do you really want to subject me to watching you slowly shut down? If you won't do it for yourself, would you do it for me?"

"I…I suppose that…when you put it – oh! Friend Weiss, it appears that we appear that we are approaching the castle."

Next Chapter: Landing Strategy – In which Raven ponders long term career options, Jaune shows us how much he's learned since initiation, and Yang catches up with some old friends.

Omake

Penny: Friend Weiss, it appears that we are approaching the castle.

Weiss: Hmm…where are Nora, Ren, Cardin, and Sky? I don't see them.

Omake 2

Bronzewing: Branwen, we shall need to draw up a landing strategy. And by that, I mean you shall need to draw up a landing strategy.

Ozpin: *furiously raising Jaune's hand* Pick me! Pick me! Dude, I'm two feet away, and I literally pioneered the whole landing strategy thing. Pick me!