13809. Whoever thought up the unique way of getting Admiral Briggs back to base, we thank you, but know that you're probably on his Shit List for all eternity.

13813. Given recent events, if the Russian navy decides to reincarnate Moskva no you are not allowed to tease her on how she was sunk by a country with no navy.
13813a. "I was gonna have so much fun…" -a certain light aircraft carrier
13813b: I am an idiot, no you are still not allowed to tease her about how she was sunk by Ukraine. Or her fear of spiders either.

Me make another snippet.

When Moskva wondered into the mess hall, she found it mostly empty. There were some ships there, mainly destroyers but enough tables were empty that she quite happily found one and sat down. Her plate was full of American food that she'd always wanted to try. Hamburgers, sloppy joes, a couple of steaks and mounds of french fries. A pitcher of coke sat next to her to wash it all down with. Without wasting any time she dug right in, moaning in pure bliss when she tasted the hamburger.

She was about halfway through her plate when a commotion caught her attention. Turning around she saw Iowa with a sea bag draped over her shoulder. Her sister's murderballs were following and trailing behind was Wright looking thoroughly unhappy. Moskva tuned her radios to hear what the light carrier was saying.

"You drugged his drink at the bar, waited for him to pass out, then stuffed him a seabag and dragged him back here?!" She exclaimed.

"Iowa said it was a good idea. Besides, it worked didn't it?" One of the Taffies, Johnson Moskva presumed judging by that headdress, said.

"That's beside the point!" Wright fumed.

The sack began to wriggle and several kicks were aimed at Iowa's back which the battleship shrugged off although she did set the sack down. From the table next to Moskva, Vestal spoke up. "Um, I think he's woken up and he doesn't seem happy."

"Why? I'm always happy when I wake up the morning after." Iowa sighed, a dreamy look on her face. Moskva felt the urge for a drink.

The sack screamed. "NOOOO! I WAS SO CLOSE!" Briggs' head emerged from it and the Admiral looked like he'd gotten into a drinking contest with the U-boats. His hair was a mess, his face had the worst 5-0-clock shadow Moskva had ever seen and his eyes were bloodshot. Wright however simply sighed and lifted him underneath his arms, dragging him through the mess hall and deeper into the building.

"O-kay then." The cruiser decided to forget the mayham she just saw, recalling stories of her own country's shipgirls, and returned to her meal.

Until a hand clasped on her shoulder. Wincing at the grip, Moskva turned her head and looked up into the face of Iowa. "So, do I have you to thank for that little scene?" The battleship scowled.

Swallowing, Moskva straightened as best she could and put on the bravest face she could muster. Not easy given this was Iowa! Even Kirov would struggle against her. "My appearance may have caused a slight, regression. However I was not the one who encouraged him to imbibe."

Iowa remained passive for a moment longer, then she grinned. "Fucking A! You're not too bad kid." She let go as Wright came up. "You, with me." She pointed to Moskva who sighed, taking one last gulp off her coke and wishing it was vodka before getting up.

She followed Wright back to the command building, passing several groups of shipgirls along the way. A few of them recognized her, one or two calling out a greeting. The rest were not so kind.

"HEY, DA' SUBMARINE!" Wright groaned when Hancock showed up. The slightly drunk carrier slurred her words as she came up to Moskva.

"You are, referring to me?" Moskva asked.

"Of course. Who else would I be talking to except a cruise-excuse me a shitty submarine who can't fend off two antiquated missiles." Hancock sneered.

Wright moved to defend Moskva before the cruiser could respond. "Hancock, don't you have someplace to be?" She asked.

"Well..."

"Then I suggest you get going." Wright hissed, a dangerous low note appearing in her voice. Once Hancock had left, she turned to Moskva. "Sorry about her, she can be... Moskva?"

The cruiser had disappeared, leaving Wright to groan and look around. Nearby, Wisconsin and Midway were practicing with their fleet of drones. Drones! Now desperate to find where Moskva had bolted to, she finally spotted her hiding behind a bush and watching the pair with wide eyes.

Sighing, Wright calmly walked over to the bush, reached down and grabbed Moskva by the back of her shirt. "Bylad'." The cruiser cursed, struggling against Wright's 120000 horsepower and cursing her engineers for their lack of maintenance.

Wright used her free hand to wave at the battleship and carrier who were staring at them open-mouthed. "Hi girls. Probably not a good idea to fly those things around her. Moskva here is a bit shy of drones."

Midway put a hand over her mouth to hide her snicker and Wright could all but see the evil plans forming in her head. To her credit, Wisconsin didn't say anything. She just winced and nodded, offering Moskva what she hoped was a friendly smile. The cruiser for her part was still struggling against Wright and getting nowhere. This continued until the pair got indoors where Wright let her go.

Moskva smoothed out her uniform and gave Wright a glare which the carrier ignored. "Now since the cruiser dorms are, out of action." She said, seeing Moskva's apologetic wince. "You'll bunk here. Destroyers can be a crazy bunch but they're also very innocent and sweet."

Moskva dropped her glare and sighed. "Thank you Wright." She said. "I really..."

She was cut off as two destroyers ran right between them. One of them was carrying what looked like a potato peeler. The other shipgirl was hot on her heels. "Give that back, Sammy B!" O'Bannon shouted.

"Never! I shall give this as a sacrifice to the great Lord Khorne. Blood for the Blood God!" Sammy B chanted as she dodged and weaved obstacles to avoid being caught.

Moskva's radar picked up more chaos farther inside. "GAH! Okay who left this gak out again?!"

"Awww! You're so cute, comehereIneedtocuttle. Nice otter. Niceotter. OW!SHIT!WTF?!"

"Hoel, how did you even get Willie D's poster back?"

"It works! Now I'll be as good as SoDac! NOOOOO! Willie!"

"WAH! I'M SWWWORRRYYY!"

Moskva blinked, then blinked again. Slowly, she turned to Wright who was sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well, they can be most of the time." She said. "Come on, let's get you settled in."

Moskva had no choice but to follow Wright into the madhouse.