Presumptions
Chapter 3 - Life's Accidents
Four weeks had passed since the news of the DWB killings in Columbia. The identity of the two missing doctors were not yet known. Difficulty with recovering and then identifying the dead DWB members made progress slow. For Kate it was now almost six weeks since she broke up with Josh and just a little less than that for her new relationship with Castle. They had kept secret, her recent breakup with Josh, and then she and Rick finding one another. They were avoiding all the hurtful gossip that would arise once it was known about them. Gossip that the new union was a rebound, or worse yet, that Kate had cheated on Josh causing the breakup. So, the new couple was keeping it secret as to their status, so as to avoid such rumors, at least for the while.
For the most part, things had settled to a normal. But in the last two weeks, Kate was feeling under the weather. She would come in nauseous, body aches, and such. Kate thought it was just a touch of the flu and took medication for it. One morning she vomited Castle's morning offering into the toilet. Coming out of the ladies' room, she knew she needed medical advice on this bug that she had recently caught.
Once at her desk, she calls Lanie.
"Kate, come in just before lunch, I should be done with my current autopsy by then."
"Thanks Lanie, I will see you then."
When Ricks sees Kate standup from her desk just before lunch, he says to her, "What about lunch?"
"I am off to see Lanie, I feel something coming on, so Lanie will exam me and let me know what to do about it. If I don't come back in a decent time, order takeout for all of us, my treat."
"No, Kate, I got this, any preference on the menu?"
"Dealer's choice, surprise me."
"Wow, and this from the lady who doesn't like surprises."
"I only don't like them when they come from you out of the blue", Kate replies on the down low.
Rick looks into her eyes and replies just a softly, "You don't know how much I want you right now!"
Kate blushes at Rick's reply, "Down boy, we are in the office. Hopefully no one is hearing us."
Rick gets a guilty look and then says, looking around to see if anyone noticed them, "Okay then, see you when you come back. I'll have lunch ready." He ends it with a quick wink to Kate and she responds with the typical Beckett head roll. She leaves Rick and heads to Lanie's as she needs relief from this thing she has just caught. Lanie will take care of her and let her know what to do for her on this coming bout with the flu bug she may have caught.
Lanie's Lab
"So how long having you been having these symptoms?", ask the M.E. Lanie Parish.
"A little more than a few days now."
"You check out normal otherwise but let me try another test."
Lanie goes to get a test kit. When she out of her supply closet, she is holding the test kit in plain view.
"Lanie, that's a pregnancy kit?"
"Un huh."
"Can't be, I'm on the pill."
"Not always a 100% sure Kate. Did you use condoms also?"
"No."
"Okay, have you been taking your pills regularly then?"
"I ran out shortly before Josh left, so we did have unprotected sex the last time together. I refilled my pills though shortly after that news on the Columbia killings of the DWB crew."
"Kate, if the test is positive, with Josh possibly dead, what then?"
"Let's do the test first Lanie."
It turns out positive so then they did two more tests, also positive.
"So, what now? You may have a baby whose father died before the birth."
"Lanie, I will tell you something, and you must keep it secret."
"This is very mysterious Kate, so spill!"
"I broke up with Josh just before he went to Columbia."
"And you are just telling me this now! Why the secrecy?"
"Because I was so hurting from it, I turned to Rick for comfort, and...", she doesn't finish her sentence.
Lanie is contemplating what Kate has just revealed, and it takes her time to come to a realization, like a light being turned on she says in shock, "So you got your freak on with writer boy! Had you started up on the pill when this happened?"
"Not that first time, I started shortly after that once I got a refill."
"Since the first time! Kate Beckett are you just telling me now that you have been knocking boots with Castle, and did not let me know. So, ...wait a minute,... you're saying Castle might be the father here, and not Josh!"
"Can we do a paternity test to find out?"
"Not one that is non-evasive. There are some tests that can do that, but they are experimental as of now, and not FDA approved yet. So quick answer, no, not without hurting the fetus. You'll have to wait till the birth to do a paternity test".
"That means the father remains unknown until the baby is born. So, I will have to tell Castle?"
"And if Josh turns out to be alive? There are still two doctors not accounted for, and the identities of the dead are not yet fully known?"
"I had not thought about that possibility. If the Baby is Josh's and he is still alive, he has to be told."
"Oh Kate, I'm sure if it is Castle's, he will raise the baby with you."
"And if it turns out the father is Josh? It was a bad breakup, Lanie. He found out about the trip to L.A. and that Castle was there with me. He accused me of sleeping with Castle and said some ugly things. How do I handle raising the child if Josh is dead, or if he turns out alive, how do I tell him given the nature of our split? Even if Josh seeks to reconnect, I know now that he is not the one. Josh will also assume my quick hookup with Castle confirms his suspicion that I slept with Castle during that L.A. case when we found Royce's killer."
"Kate, first things first, go tell Castle and let him know about Josh."
"Oh Lanie, we just got together and now this. I have hurt him in the past being with Demming and then Josh. This will break his heart again. How can I do that?"
"It will break his heart more if he does not find out from you. Besides, I think your writer man will surprise you on this one. But you need to have a clear and honest talk with him. There is no other way to do this."
"You're right Lanie. I will just have to be a big girl about it."
"Kate, you face down killers for your job, this should be a piece of cake."
"I am not in love with them like I am with Castle."
"What...,Kate Beckett, did you just confess to being in love with Castle?"
"I have for a long time now; it is just starting to come out. I can't pretend anymore that I don't."
"Does he know?"
"Yes, I told him so."
"Oh Kate, come here girl, you're in love", Lanie gives Kate a big hug, "Congratulations, that makes it even sweeter when you tell Rick."
"You think! He won't be mad?"
"Girl, that man would climb a mountain for you if you asked. Tell him the part on not knowing who's the father but will know eventually. Put on your big girl pants and go tell that man of yours what is happening."
"Thanks Lanie, can you keep this just between us for now. We are trying to avoid all the ugly gossip that is bound to come out once we reveal we are a couple."
"Your secret is safe with me Kate."
The Talk With Castle
Kate had a date with Castle that Saturday. They often went to places not too known by the press or the NYC party crowd. This, so the chance of them being spotted together was less and as they also wanted their privacy from the public. Rick chose a quiet by very good Italian restaurant. Kate was wearing her sexiest black sequined dress with 4-inch heels. She is so very stunning in the outfit, just as she had planned. The neckline was low cut and shows off the sides of her breasts as she is braless. The hem is mid thigh and emphasized her long and sexy legs. Rick was rendered speechless when he saw her, a rare event for Rick Castle. but he did manage to let out that she was hot and alluring in the dress.
Ricked had ordered wine, but Kate said she preferred no alcohol this time as she wanted to fully appreciate their night session later. So asked for ice tea. She did not want to give Rick a clue as to her pregnancy until she told him of it. Her hinting on having sex later was meant to throw Rick off so he would not question why she did not want alcohol. Not wanting wine with her meal could be a tell tale for Castle, so she deflected by intimating about a session later.
When dinner is done, they are enjoying dessert, and Kate begins her talk.
"Rick, I need to tell you something, and please listen completely before you speak."
"Okay, what is it you want to tell me?", Rick's is now intrigued.
"No easy way to say this, so I will just come out and say it, I'm pregnant Rick."
"What? And you are saying that I'm the father?"
"Could be but hear me out. When I broke up with Josh, we had our last night together and I had run out of my pills, so we had unprotected sex."
"Oh, but when we slept together you were on the pill?"
"No Rick, my refill came in days later. So we also had unprotected sex."
"So, either I or Josh could be the father."
"Yes, that is just about it."
"And now Josh could be dead."
In saying that, Rick can see the angst and tension in Kate's eyes and her body reaction also speaks to her condition.
"Kate if the child is Josh's and he winds up dead, I will raise the child with you."
"Why would you do that Rick? So, what happens if Josh is found alive?"
"The answer to your question is that the child would be a part of you, and I love you and all your parts. My love is there for you and unconditionally Kate, That is simply the way I am with people I love. Besides the child would need a father, if Josh is dead, and I have already raised Lexy as a single parent. We could raise a great child together. If Josh is still alive, we will need to come to an understanding on how this child is to be raised. I will marry you Kate and the child we can raise as a couple."
"Rick, we are not even married, we have just become a couple, and you talk about raising a child with me."
"Know this Kate, I will marry you one day, when the time is right."
"And how will we know when it is right?"
"We will know, trust me. But also, if the child is not mine, then I will stand by you, even more so."
Kate is stunned by Castle's response to hearing she is pregnant. She never expected this but recalls that Lanie had said that Rick might just surprise her when she talked to him. Lanie had been right on, and Kate was now so much in awe and wonder of this kind and generous man who is now her significant other. She believes Rick because she has seen how he is with his daughter and his mother. He is with them unconditionally in his whole being and cares and protects them out of love.
"Who else knows, Kate?"
"Just Lanie, she did the pregnancy tests on me, but she will keep it secret until I tell her not to. So what now Rick?"
"We get ready to have a kid together."
That night they celebrate in bed and Kate now knows how deep Rick's love is for her. Many other men would have rejected her, knowing she carried another man's child. But Rick would stand by her regardless. Kate wonders how she had been so lucky as to be with Rick now, and despite the doubt of his paternity with her child, he will raise it with her, as his own. Whatever the outcome of the future paternity test, Castle will be there for her. He has even said that he will marry her one day when the time is right. Kate knows they need that time to grow even closer and to come up with a plan on handling their situation. It has now become even more complicated with a child on the way, a child that might not be Rick's.
After their talk, Kate has fallen deeper in love with Rick, even more so now. He is truly her soulmate, but she still does not know what she will do if the child turns out to be Josh's! Rick helped her forget about that, if only for the night. Kate knew then that she is not alone in this. She realized that Rick was a far better man than even she had expected. She felt unworthy of Rick, having been with other men that she had paraded in front of him.
Kate realizes then that she had done so because she was trying to keep him at a distance. She knew intuitively that to love Rick Castle was to do so wholeheartedly, no holding back. She had to give without hesitation, to match Rick's commitment. That thought scared Kate as in every relationship she had been in with past boyfriends, she always had one foot out the door.
Kate knew it could not be any other way with Rick. She knew that from the beginning of their meeting, and that scared her. She had to match or even exceed Rick's commitment that he gave so freely and with no constraints. She had feared that she could not met those same expectations and so had tried to keep Rick distant by hiding in relationships with men she did not love. But after time, she could no longer carry out her masquerade.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and there is no stopping Rick who is the irresistible force to her once immovable and impregnable wall! As the words to an old song that her parents used to play, when the two meet, something had to give, and it was her wall! She was now totally open and vulnerable with Rick, but she felt safe knowing it.
She had to be in this union for the whole package and likewise had to love Rick completely and with no holding back on her part. No one foot out the door on this one. She knew now that Rick was her one and done. If Josh was still alive, she would deal with it. Kate had finally let Rick in and she never felt more secure by it.
Rick was the only man who had broken down her emotional and protective shield wall. The future for them was set, and Kate would go there with Rick. She no longer was alone. She had found her man in Rick Castle; something she had denied for a while but could not any longer continue in that denial. She was ready to be with Rick as it should be!