Heading into the apartment, Victoria was glad it was empty. She had gone ice-skating with her friends after her brother had turned up and told them exactly what had happened. They had told her that it might be for the best if she told Homelander and she knew they had a point. She didn't want him to do anything or be concerned, but she figured that it was for the best if he knew. Daniella had already headed out of town with Georgina for the holidays. She had flown out late that night after ice-skating. Michelle was on some date with a guy she had met, making sure she messaged the group chat so they knew where she was and that she was safe.

They had tried to make the apartment look festive, all of them realising it might not be worth their time considering they were going away for the holidays. They had bought a Christmas tree and stood it in the corner by their new television. It was covered in silver and gold baubles, along with a golden star on the top of it. They had each done Christmas the weekend before with each other, cooking a dinner and exchanging gifts.

Victoria had laughed at the Homelander mug they had given her, rolling her eyes. That didn't mean she hadn't started using it as her main mug, often finding herself distracted when she looked at it on her desk. He'd found it particularly amusing when he'd seen it on his last visit, noting the way that Victoria had blushed when he brought it up.

Considering she had the apartment to herself for the evening, she sat down on the couch and turned the TV on, a mug of tea in her hands. She pulled her legs up beneath herself and watched the screen, but her mind was still focused on her brother and what he had wanted with her. What had been so urgent? She shook that thought away. He was probably just trying to get back in her good books and would say anything to do it. She wasn't going to listen to him. What kind of brother had he even been to her in the past?

She tried not to dwell on it, but she knew that it might be for the best if she told Homelander. He deserved to know.

…

"Listen, before we go to Madelyn for the weekly debrief, I have something I need to tell you," Victoria said to Homelander.

They were in his penthouse, him sat on the couch and her moving from the kitchen after fetching herself a bottle of water. He leant back, hands clasped on his stomach and she stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching him. His eyes shifted from the TV on the wall that had been playing the news of him and Maeve from their patrol the other night. Meeting Victoria's eye, he waited for her to speak.

"The other day, after you left me in Central Park, my brother showed up," she said to him and he furrowed his brow at hearing her. He reached for the remote and turned the television off, giving her his full attention. Moving to his feet, he advanced towards her and she continued talking. "I don't want to make a big deal about this and I don't want to talk about it, but he just showed up. I have no idea what he wanted and I don't care."

"You didn't hear him out?"

Victoria rolled her eyes and he stood before her, hands taking hold of her hips and holding her in his grip, wanting to be close to her. She draped her arms around his neck, holding onto him and leaning back slightly.

"He said something about wanting to protect me," Victoria said, but she wasn't interested in thinking about it. "Honestly, none of it matters and he was just talking shit. He did the same when I was eighteen and at Durham. He turned up and told me how sorry he was…how he wanted to look after me. It was too many years too late by that point, just like it is now."

"Are you sure you don't want me to look into this? I can have the people downstairs find him and-"

"-No," Victoria interrupted, shaking her head at him and moving a hand into the ends of his hair. She let her fingers play with it softly, looking at the bare skin of his neck that the suit didn't cover. "I don't want to spend any time thinking about him. He's probably been drinking and thought that he could make amends. I have no interest in dwelling on this. It's Christmas. We have plans to go away. I just want to do that."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," she said. "I want my fucked up family to stay in this neat little box, wrapped away and not anywhere near my life because, right now, my life is good. My life is really good and I want it to stay that way."

"If that's what you want then that's what you can have," he assured her, although he wasn't entirely convinced. Perhaps this might be something that he should look into. She didn't need to know. After Christmas. He could do it then if he still felt the same way.

"Thank you," she said. "I just wanted to tell you."

"No secrets between us, is there?" he responded and Victoria shook her head. She didn't keep things from him, except for what had happened in her past. It wasn't that she was keeping it a secret, it was more that she just wanted to take a bit more time to tell him.

"No secrets," she agreed and kissed him chastely. "Come on, we should go and get this meeting over with and then get ready for this party."

…

The Christmas Eve party was for all Vought employees. There was an open bar and nibbles, the entire fiftieth floor seeming to be filled with people. Victoria could hardly move through the crowds and, at about eleven, the music turned up and people grew rowdy. Victoria had headed to the edge of the floor, carrying her glass of champagne with her and trying not to spill it. She picked the skirts of the dress up so that it didn't trail on the floor and finally made it to free space.

"You doing alright?"

Victoria looked to see Maeve standing next to her. She smiled and nodded. "I'm good. I just needed a few minutes away from the commotion. It's getting pretty loud in here."

"Wait until they start handing out shots. Then it gets really messy," Maeve said to her and they stood next to each other and looked out the window, the noise from the speakers booming behind them and people shrieking and yelling, clearly having a good time. "Look, I just wanted to talk to you and make sure you were alright after everything that's happened."

"I'm fine," Victoria said to her. "And thanks for coming to find me. It really means a lot to me."

"It's part of the job," Maeve said. "But you're welcome. I'm glad you're doing alright…and this entire relationship with Homelander…it's going well? I get what it's like to have your private life scrutinised and under a microscope. It isn't easy."

"It's been more challenging than I would have thought," Victoria admitted that openly to her. "There have been times when I've wondered what the hell I'm doing, but then I guess it's gotten easier. Homelander…he's not exactly afraid of the cameras and he makes it bearable."

"You really like him, huh?" Maeve asked and Victoria nodded.

Maeve drank in the look on her face. She'd seen it before on numerous people's faces, mainly when she watched television and those ridiculous shows where everyone was constantly happy and their lives simple. She was smiling softly, a glaze over her eyes. He had really done a number on her and Maeve only wondered if she knew the pain she would feel in the future because this Homelander, the man who had besotted this woman, wasn't who he was. It wasn't who he would be for their entire life because he wouldn't be able to keep it up.

"I do," Victoria said. "He's great."

"Am I right to think that my ears are burning?"

Turning her head over her shoulder, Victoria looked up to Homelander and he stood behind her, slinging an arm over her shoulders and glancing to Maeve. The looks between the two of them would appear innocuous to most people, but the main issue was that they both knew each other. They had both dated and Maeve knew the man that he was. He also knew that Maeve knew his secrets. She knew what had happened to the men who had taken Victoria. He didn't think she would say anything, but he wasn't going to take any chance with her. If she dared to go against him then he wouldn't hesitate to do what had to be done.

"You would be," Victoria said.

"All good things, I hope," he said, squeezing her shoulders and directing his stare to Maeve. Her eyes flickered onto the hand squeezing Victoria's shoulder and she glanced back to Homelander, sipping on the vodka soda she'd had in her hand for almost an hour.

"Always," she said after the sip. "I was just asking Victoria how she is handling the limelight."

"Oh, she's a natural," Homelander said. "Did you see our cover shoot for Housewives Monthly? According to Madelyn, she's had nothing but emails from the magazine. The sales are the highest they've been in months."

"I'm not sure I'm quite as thrilled with Madelyn on that one considering I don't like the idea of coming across as a '50's housewife, which is exactly what that shoot made me look like."

"I did think the apron was a tad too much," Maeve said.

"I told them that!" Victoria exclaimed and she laughed as Homelander chuckled and Maeve smirked. "Anyway, whatever. I don't entirely care what people think of me. You taught me that was a good lesson to learn when we first met."

"Maeve's full of great advice," Homelander said.

"I'm not sure about that," she replied, "but I just know that there is no point in listening to people. Anyway, what're your plans for the holiday?"

"Well, we're actually heading out of town for a few nights," Homelander said, the arm not once moving from her shoulders. "Victoria was going to be alone for the holidays and I didn't like the idea of that. So, we're going to spend it together. What about you, Maeve? I hope you have other plans that involve something other than drinking that fancy champagne we were gifted from the NYPD."

His tone might be jovial, but she knew the malice behind it. He wasn't pleasant. He wasn't being concerned. He was being his usual chauvinistic self. But he hid it behind polite smiles and charming phrasing. However, Victoria did look slightly uncomfortable with his wording, her smile faltering and he must have picked up on it because he instantly redeemed himself.

"I'm kidding, Maeve," he said to her. "I just know that Christmas can be a hard time for you."

"Well, I'll be fine. I'm going to spend my time reading, catching up on TV shows that I was supposed to watch but never got round to it," she said.

"That almost sounds idyllic," Victoria said and Homelander glanced down to her, his chin doubling and his grip on her shoulders tightening.

"Well, I can always change our plans," he joked and Victoria nudged him in the ribs with her elbow, shaking her head.

"I meant that peace and quiet over the holidays sounded nice," was all she said back to him. "Don't get huffy with me."

"Whoa-hoa," Homelander exclaimed, moving to wrap both arms around her waist, holding her against his front as she laughed loudly and his fingers splayed on her stomach. "I have my hands full with this one, I tell you that, Maeve."

"So I can see," Maeve said. "I should get back to the party, but I'll see you after Christmas…and Victoria…you know I'm on the floor beneath his, if you ever want to talk."

"Thanks," Victoria said gratefully. "I really mean that…and have a great Christmas too."

"Yeah, Maeve," Homelander said, chin sitting on top of Victoria's head. "Happy Holidays."

Maeve gave a polite smile and left, moving back into the crowd and keeping an eye on the couple. She watched Homelander spin Victoria around, his arms remained tight around her as he bent down and kissed her softly, pulling back and whispering something to her. She must have agreed with what he said because the two of them began moving off from the party, heading out and towards the elevator.

…

"So, I came out early this morning and did my best to ensure the cabin was warmed up," Homelander said as they walked up to the porch. There was no one for miles around. The log cabin was exactly as Victoria had imagined. It was pretty cosy, the complete opposite to his penthouse at the tower. It was a big room with a couch and a TV, a small kitchen off to the side. There was another door that Victoria suspected was the bedroom and a staircase to the side. There were throws on the couch and homely touches like scented candles and even a small Christmas decoration.

"Did you do this?" Victoria asked him, picking up the reed diffuser and smelling the strong scent of what was supposed to be mulled wine. She placed it back down as he dropped their two bags onto the floor by the bedroom door.

"I can't take credit for it. I had someone come out earlier in the week and prepare most of it…I wanted it to be perfect," he confessed to her and she nodded, hand tossing through her hair.

She removed her coat, thankful that she had changed out of the red party dress and into her jeans and white jumper before going. She felt much more relaxed and like she belonged. She headed towards the couch as he sat down on it and she sank down next to him, collapsing against his side. He draped his arm over the back of the couch and Victoria rested a hand on his thigh, closing her eyes and feeling a sense of contentment take over her.

"You okay?" he asked, seeing the sleepy smile on her face.

"Never been better," she replied earnestly to him. "This is exactly what I wanted. Can you hear that?"

He listened out. "What?" he wondered, even his super hearing wasn't picking anything up.

"Exactly," she responded. "Nothing. It's so peaceful, no traffic, no one yelling our names. It's amazing. I could stay here for longer than three days."

"I should have brought you here sooner," he said to her and she shook her head, his hand around her shoulders picking up a strand of her hair and twirling it around his index finger.

"We're here now and that's all that matters, right?" she replied.

"I'm glad you think so," he said. "Because it feels like I haven't been able to get you alone in ages with all these Christmas commitments."

He dipped down to kiss her neck softly and Victoria nodded. She let him kiss and nip at her skin, the motion tender but also causing her to feel heated. Sure, they'd had some pretty intense make-out sessions, but it had never gone too far and he had been the perfect gentleman with her. But she wanted more. She longed for more, but not before she confessed everything to him. If she was going to do this then she wanted him to know everything, no more hiding between them.

"I…I need to tell you something," Victoria said and she pulled back.

He almost groaned in annoyance, but he pulled back and gave her some space. She moved so that she was facing him, her legs curled underneath her and her hands going to rest in her lap. He draped his arm over the back of the couch once more. She wondered exactly how he would take what she was about to say, but it was on the tip of her tongue. It had been for quite some time, but she had never felt that they had been alone for long enough for her to tell him, either people from Vought interrupting or her flatmates being within listening range. She wanted it to be just them.

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" he questioned and he saw the smile form on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes. So this was something serious. Nodding, he moved so that his knees were brushing against hers, picking her hand up and holding it tightly. "Not a time for joking, I've got it. What is it you want to talk about?"

"What happened…all those years ago," she said to him and his eyes widened and he nodded thoughtfully.

"You know if this is because of this weekend, then bringing you out here, I had no expectations-"

"-It's not because of that," Victoria responded, shaking her head. "I never even thought that. I just want to tell you because I want you to know. I want you to finally know because I…because whatever this is…I trust you."

He was silent and Victoria braced herself, her hand holding tightly onto his. It kept her grounded. She needed that because she had only told a select few people what had happened before. She looked down, figuring that it would be easier not to look at him as she explained.

"My family wasn't exactly rich, you know," Victoria said to him. "We lived in this flat…apartment…in the middle of London. There were five of us. There was me, my brother who is alive and my other brother…who died."

Homelander kept silent, running his thumb over her knuckles and letting her continue. This was news to him.

"My older brother got out when he could. He joined the army and left us alone with our parents, but my other brother…dad took to beating him. I was only six at the time. I was young…my eldest brother had turned eighteen. He'd been in the army since he was sixteen. I was only four when he went and so I never really remembered him," Victoria said, squinting and trying to recall being that young, but failing miserably. "I was six when my brother killed himself. He took my dad's gun from a cabinet in the kitchen and he shot himself. He couldn't handle the abuse. He couldn't stand it."

"Fuck, Vic," Homelander whispered, seeing how difficult it was for Victoria to relive.

"I never really knew him. I was too young really," Victoria said. "I grew up and my dad never really paid me much attention until I became a teenager. It was then when the beatings began on me. The drinking had gotten so much worse. But…the landlord of our building, he was the one who would come and drink with my dad in the sitting room…me…locked in my room and studying, determined to get away from them. Mum would work late to try and earn as much money as she could. She had three jobs. She…I didn't tell her…"

Homelander's face scrunched up as he heard her and she kept her hand firmly inside of his. "I was sixteen the first time Eddie, the landlord, came into my room," she confessed, her chest constricting and her throat clenching. Homelander let out a sharp breath and Victoria closed her eyes, her head fully bowed. "I tried to fight him off. I tried to shout for my dad, but he never came. He was passed out. Eddie pinned me down and he just…he…"

Homelander shook his head as he heard a gurgle leave her throat and her eyes welled up with tears. He moved his arm around her, bowing his head and pressing his forehead to hers. "You don't need to tell me," he promised her. "You don't need to say anything else."

But she kept going, her voice hoarse. "I just laid there when he had finished. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand how he could have done that…I…I was sick. He'd told me how no one would believe me. He told me that I was just a kid and he was an ex-cop. He warned me that I'd just be laughed at and I was only sixteen. I believed him. I believed him when he said that to me and I wanted to tell my mum, but she never had any time for me…and dad…what was the point."

"They should have done more to protect you," he declared firmly and Victoria nodded.

"I know," she said, "but they didn't and I was too scared to tell anyone because of what he'd told me and so it continued…he kept on coming round and I just…I gave up fighting him."

Homelander didn't want to imagine it. He didn't want to imagine another man violating his Victoria. He didn't want to picture her in pain, crying and alone. She had just been a child. She was sixteen. He kept his grip tight on her, not wanting to let her go and she moved her free hand to cling onto his arm.

"It went on for six months before a teacher at college noticed…she…she saw how my grades had started to slip and she was worried. I came in and would fall asleep in class. I never slept at home, always scared of hearing the door open. I became isolated, losing all my friends. She…it was one day…when everyone had left the room when she asked me to stay behind and I just broke down," Victoria confessed. "She went with me to the police and it turned out that everything Eddie had said to me was bullshit. It had been lies to manipulate me and keep me quiet."

"What happened?" Homelander questioned.

"There was a trial and he was convicted," Victoria said. "I had anonymity, as all victims do, but he…Eddie…he would write to me from prison…threaten me…and that was why I changed my name. I got away from my parents as soon as my A-Levels were finished with a new identity and a scholarship to a university. I never went back. And the worst part was…mum was horrified…she begged me to forgive her and I just…I said nothing, but dad…he never said anything. I think he knew. I think he knew exactly what had happened and never said anything."

"Coward," Homelander spat. "And your brother?"

"When I was sixteen he'd come to visit once. He was twenty-eight and still in the army. He was in the SAS," Victoria said. "Eddie…I didn't tell him about that. I didn't tell anyone about that, but I begged him to take me with him. I begged him not to leave me in that place and he just…he said that he couldn't. He said that he had nothing to give me. He was an army man with no ability to look after a teenage girl. He did threaten dad, however. He warned him to stay away from me and all I wanted to do was scream at him and tell him that it wasn't dad I was scared of, but at the time I hadn't told anyone about what was happening."

Victoria sniffed and lifted her hand from his arm and ran it under her nose. She was snotty, her eyes sore and filled with tears. She brushed them away and looked to him once more as he lifted his hand from her back and brushed her hair from her face, stopping it from sticking to her cheeks.

"Ever since then, I've always tried to think of sex as something that never meant anything. Eddie had ruined it for me," Victoria said. "I had some one-night stands and felt nothing. I thought that would be fine, that it would just be how it was for me. My therapist told me that it didn't have to be, but I ignored her…I ignored her until I met you because I don't want that. I don't want that with you. I want it to mean something because I care too much about you for it not to...but that's why I've wanted to go slow...because you mean more than any of those one-night stands ever could."

"I understand," Homelander said to her. He cared far too much about her to force himself onto her. He couldn't do that to her. He continued watching her, his gaze not leaving her delicate features, taking in her slender cheekbones and plump lips. He felt an uncontrollable rage that anyone else had touched her. He wanted to make them pay.

"You do?"

"Victoria, what you went through was horrific," he said. "And I am so sorry that it happened to you. You deserved better. You deserved someone to look after you…take care of you…not those monsters."

"But I escaped them," Victoria said to him, trying to refrain from crying again. "I got out and I made something of myself. I left that all behind and I just want you to know me now…this Victoria…not the old one because I changed. I never let Eddie win and he has no idea where I am…sure, that might not be true now, but if he came after me then I can protect myself. I have the ability to do that now."

"You wouldn't need to," Homelander reassured her, hand stroking her cheek softly.

"I know," she said. "But I could. He…I heard the other month that he had been given early release. He's not allowed out of the country, but he's out. He served just over ten years. Eddie Morell is out."

"He's out?"

"Yeah," Victoria said. "I wanted to tell you, but I knew if I did then I'd have to tell you all of this and I wanted to tell you when I knew there would be no one around…but now I worry that I've ruined Christmas."

"Don't be silly," Homelander urged from her. "You could never have ruined Christmas. You telling me this, I understand how difficult it must have been for you, and I…the fact you have…it means a lot to me too."

"You're not upset or-"

"-Absolutely not," he interrupted her. "Victoria, I just want you to be happy and I want to protect you…to take care of you…make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again."

"I'd settle for you just being there, if that's okay?"

"Whatever you need," he assured her, cradling her against him once more.

She closed her eyes as they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Eventually, they decided to head to bed, Victoria cleaning her teeth and dressed in thick, plaid pyjamas. She crawled into bed after checking her phone, Homelander following suit, wearing only bottoms as Victoria laid on her side and he wrapped his arm around her. He bid her a goodnight and soon enough he heard her soft snores, his arm still holding her to him. But he stayed awake, his eyes glaring into the darkness around him as he silently promised her that he would make sure Eddie Morell never hurt her again.

…

Victoria had slept soundly for the entire night, only waking when the clock struck eight the following morning. She almost felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders at telling him what had happened to her. He knew everything about her now. He knew every single thing that had happened and she was relieved for that. She was relieved that he knew.

"Homelander?" Victoria called his name.

She sat up in the bed and looked around. His side of the bed was empty, no sign of him in the adjoining bathroom either. Victoria climbed from the bed and headed over towards the living area. But that was empty too. She frowned, worrying about where he would have gone. She looked out the window, but the only thing in front of her was grass and trees. They really were in the middle of nowhere.

Heading over to the kitchen, she pulled out a bottle of orange juice and poured herself a glass. She sipped on it, her eyes scanning the cabin and wondering how long he'd had it. It was a nice retreat. Padding over to the couch, she sat down and held her orange juice in her grip, lifting her leg up to her chest.

"Good morning, sunshine."

His voice suddenly entered the cabin and Victoria startled. He had come from nowhere. Turning to the door, he was closing it, already dressed in his usual suit. Victoria looked at him as he beamed to her, moving over to the couch. He squeezed her shoulder and bent down to kiss the top of her head before moving to the kitchen.

"Hey," Victoria greeted him, "where have you been?"

"Well, that would be telling, and I don't want to ruin your Christmas surprise," he said and Victoria knelt on the couch, looking over the back of it towards him. He opened the fridge up and pulled out a carton of milk, pouring himself a glass. He smirked into the fridge, still hearing the man's yells in his ears as he pictured the look of fear on his face. But Victoria didn't need the truth on where he had been. It was Christmas: a time for fun.

"On Christmas Day?" she checked with him.

"I left it back at the tower. Completely forgot to bring it with me," he said to her and carried the glass back to the couch, sipping on the milk and then setting it down on the coffee table. He perched on the edge of the cushion and Victoria looked amused.

"My Christmas surprise?" she checked with him.

"Yeah," he said.

"That's better than what I was thinking."

"And what were you thinking?" he wondered.

"Well…after last night…telling you everything…I might have abandonment issues," she confessed and he shook his head, moving to wrap his arm around her. She placed her orange juice down onto the coffee table beside his own glass. He manoeuvred her into his lap, letting her perch there.

"I'm not going to abandon you," he whispered, pecking her on the forehead. "What you told me last night changes nothing between us."

"I'm glad to hear it," Victoria said. "And now you know, can we put it to one side? Not talk about for the rest of the holidays? Because I kind of want to spend the day thinking of nice things."

"Consider it done," he said. "But if you ever want me to deal with your family…if they try and make contact again…then I will. I will do that for you."

"I know," she said. "But I don't even want to speak their names, never mind think about meeting them again."

"If you're sure," he said, but a part of him didn't think that he would be able to do that. He knew the entire truth now and it sickened him. He wanted to make them hurt. He wanted them to hurt as they had hurt her. She needed to be protected and if they kept making contact then he would ensure he did that.

"Thank you," Victoria said and pecked him on the cheek. "Anyway, onto happier things. Happy Christmas."

He smiled at her, lips brushing hers and his free hand moving to her cheek, cupping it tenderly. "Merry Christmas," he responded, pulling slightly back and then producing a box in between their faces. Victoria looked to it, wondering where he had been hiding it before she pointed to it.

"For me?" she asked.

"For you," he confirmed. "Open it."

She took it from his hands and pulled at the intricate wrapping, undoing the bow and dropping it to her lap. She let the paper sit on her lap and peeled open the lid to the red box, a sharp intake of breath through her nose. She moved a finger over the golden locket, moving over the detailed floral pattern on the oval necklace. He watched her reaction, pleased that she looked happy with it.

"It's beautiful," Victoria said.

"I thought so too," he agreed. "Try it on."

She took it from the box and pulled at the clasp. Undoing it, she placed it around her neck. He helped her, gathering her hair and draping it over one shoulder. He did the clasp back up and she sat up straight, looking down at it as it sat against her chest. Her fingers skimmed over it and he nodded his head once.

"Perfect," he said.

"Thank you," she said gratefully and moved to kiss him chastely, hand on his cheek and thumb sweeping over his cheekbone. "Although, it makes the gift that I got you look really bad."

"I doubt that could ever happen," he assured her on that point and she scoffed. She didn't know if she should get it, but he knew something existed so she would bite the bullet. She slipped from his lap after one final kiss on the cheek. Heading into the bedroom, he watched her over his shoulder. She adjusted the red plaid nightshirt she wore around her body and then crouched down, peeling her weekend bag open and reaching into it.

She fiddled around for a while before picking out a rectangle present. Grabbing hold of it, she carried it with both hands back to the living room, sitting down beside him again. "You have no idea how hard it is to find something for the man who has everything," she said and he chuckled. He took the present from her, looking at the white paper covered in snowmen wearing scarves. Tugging at it, he opened the present and turned it around. His eyes fell onto the photo in the frame and Victoria began speaking quickly.

"It's from the conference you came to when we were backstage…it's the only one where it's not even staged. I figured you have nothing personal in your penthouse…nothing homely…and that might be a start," she said and waited for him to say something. He continued looking down at the picture, the silence stretching between them. "You know what, it was a stupid idea, I shouldn't have-"

She didn't get a chance to finish as his lips descended onto hers. He kissed her firmly, the movement taking her off guard. Victoria took a moment before responding when her brain caught up with what was happening. He moved away after a minute and held her cheek.

"It's perfect," he promised her.

She had no idea what it meant to him. She had no idea that it gave him the hope that perhaps he could one day have what he had been deprived of. He could have a family and Victoria could give him that. Of course, it was too soon for talk of that, but he knew that she was kind. She was caring. She could give him precisely what he craved.

"You mean that?"

"I mean it," he said.

"Okay, good, because it would have been awkward spending the holidays here if I'd messed up," she said and he ran his fingers into her hair.

"You could never mess up," he told her earnestly and bent down to kiss her once more.

Victoria let him, enjoying the feeling of his body against hers. She moaned in the back of her throat as she adjusted herself over his lap, getting closer to him as she draped a leg either side of him. Her hands ran down his chest as he kept a hand firmly at the back of her head, holding onto her hair. Their kisses grew even more desperate, his hand gripping her hip firmly and Victoria moved to take hold of it. He almost thought that she was going to tell him not to be so rough, but that never came. Instead, she slipped his gloves from his fingers, still kissing him. He let her take the lead, only pulling back as she moved his hand to her bare skin on her waist that wasn't covered by her shirt or bottoms.

"Vic," he whispered her name and she nodded her head to him as she gathered her breath.

"I want this," she said to him and he had to restrain himself from ripping her clothes from her and giving into his primal instinct. "I want you."

"You're sure? Because if this is about last night-"

"-Fuck last night," Victoria said to him, interrupting him. "Fuck everything but this…but now…I…I'm ready, but if you're not then-"

"-I've been ready for a long time," he admitted and she smirked at that, amazed that the most powerful superhero seemed reduced to a desperate man. And she had that power. She had that power over him. It made her feel powerful for the first time in a long time.

She moved her hands to the buttons of her pyjamas shirt, pulling at them until the material parted and he saw the sliver of bare skin, noting that there was no bra. He moved a hand to the material and tugged it down her arms as she pressed herself against him and went back to kissing him again. Snaking a hand up her back, he felt her shudder against him as her hips pushed against his and he moved to his feet, making her squeal with the sudden movement.

"Homelander-"

"-John," he quickly said as he carried her to the bedroom, her legs wrapped firmly around his waist. He fell onto the bed with her, hovering over her and brushing her hair from her face., looking her in the eye. "Call me John."

Victoria nodded, realising that was a momentous thing for him. He had told her his actual name. He had given her that in the most intimate moment that they were in. She nodded and pecked him on the lips.

"John," she whispered his name and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold back any longer.

He wanted her completely. And he was going to have her.

…

Victoria laid on her back, the thick grey quilt pulled up to her chin. It was pretty cold in the cabin, but she didn't seem to mind. Homelander was laid besides her, his arm around her shoulders and her hand on his chest, soothingly stroking along the pale skin. Her eyes were closed and she felt achy, but it was a pleasant ache. She hummed contently and his chin brushed her forehead before he bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fine," Victoria said to him. "Better than fine."

"Good," he said and she patted his chest and moved to perch on her elbow. She lowered her face to kiss him again and he could see the glow in her. She looked radiant to him. He had never seen her like that before.

"You know, a month tomorrow…the contract ends. You could get rid of me if you want to."

"I don't think I'm quite ready to get rid of you," he responded and she smiled coyly.

"Not quite ready?" she teased his words back to him.

"Scrap that, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready," he replied.

"Glad to hear it because…I…" she trailed off and he longed to hear what she was going to say. He kept a hand on her cheek, his thumb running over her chin.

"What is it?" he questioned. "Tell me."

"It doesn't matter…I need to go shower," Victoria said, but he took hold of her arm before she could take off, making her almost lose her balance and she held onto his upper arms. He rolled her over, pinning her beneath him.

"Say it," he whispered, brushing her lips with his. "You can tell me anything."

Looking at him, her eyes searched his and she was quiet, her mind whirling and she wondered exactly what was going to happen if she said it. She knew they were just words, but they were more than that. It was an admission. It was an admission to him that he had her heart. He had it and he could do what he wanted with it. He had power over her. But she couldn't think like that. She had to think differently and take the risk.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," she said, the words honest and loaded with emotion. His own lips tugged at the sides, a smile forming on his face. This was what he had waited for. This was what he had wanted for such a long time. He wondered if he would have ever had it with Maeve, but she had never said it to him. He had never said it to her. It hadn't been love. This was it. He knew that, in his own way, he loved Victoria.

"I think I'm falling in love with you too," he replied and Victoria felt relief at hearing him say it back to her.

They ended up wrapped up in each other again, kissing slowly and sensually before he dipped a hand down to her thigh and she moved to stop him, hand going to his and lips parting.

"Later," she said, "I'm still pretty sore…and I really do want a shower."

He nodded, tucking her hair away from her face. "You go shower and I'll join you in a minute."

"Sounds good," Victoria said and kissed him chastely before slipping from the bed and moving to the bathroom. He heard the water in the shower begin to run and sat up, hands behind his head. He was about to get out and join her before he saw her phone screen light up. His eyes danced to it, suspecting that it would just be Daniella or Michelle.

But it wasn't. He saw the text message from an unknown number and he picked the phone up. His eyes flashed to the bathroom, but Victoria was already in the shower. He unlocked her phone, knowing her passcode. Clicking onto the message, he read the text.

'I told you he's not who he says he is.'

There was a video attached to the text. He clicked onto it and instantly saw himself. He was outside of the building where Victoria had been held, Maeve next to him. He frowned. He had destroyed all the CCTV cameras that had been around. He had made sure of that. Had he missed one? He was arguing with Maeve, the two of them clearly upset.

"You knew that they planned to kidnap her and you did nothing about it?" Maeve demanded from him and he went toe-to-toe with her, his glare increasing. "And those men in there…you murdered all of them…it wasn't part of the plan. None of that was part of the plan."

"Keep your mouth shut, Maeve. She was safe and I'm here now…those men…that's a warning, do you understand me? No one fucks with her again. No one touches her because she is mine. You better remember that."

The video stopped and he forwarded the message to himself so that he had the number. He had to trace it. He had to find out who had that video. Who the hell had taken it? He deleted the message on Victoria's phone and held it tight in his palm, crushing it into pieces. He carried it to the bathroom and saw her in the large walk-in shower. She peered her head around the frosted glass and peeked out to him. Her hair was already wet, hanging in clumps along her skin and the necklace dangling against her chest.

"Are you coming?" she asked him.

"Yeah, but we just…well…we had an accident," he said and she saw the remains of her phone in his palm.

"Shit, what happened?"

"I think it must have fallen off the bedside table…I just stood on it," he said to her. "I'll get you a new one as soon as we're back in the city."

Victoria thought about all of the information on that phone, including her emails and photos. Thankfully, they were all backed up anyway. Shrugging, she brushed it off. It was just a phone. It didn't matter. "I'll get one, don't worry."

"You sure?"

"Positive," she said. "Just get in here because I think there's only so much hot water."

Tossing the remains to the side, he joined her, crowding her against the shower wall and indulging in her once more, swearing that he would stop whoever was out to sabotage them. He wouldn't let anything happen to what they had, no matter who he had to stop to get what he wanted.

...

A/N: Quite a long chapter here - we're moving into the show very, very soon! As always, thanks to my regular reviewers - your comments keep me going. Do let me know your thoughts!