A/N: Rated M for language. Some scenes adapted from the original game and Advent Children.

Chapter 32:

On that day, two months ago…

Cloud leaned against the door outside Seventh Heaven after he said goodbye to Tifa. He closed his eyes and rested the back of his head on the wood, turning his jaw upward as if praying to the heavens.

More than fighting Sephiroth, more than burying Aeris, more than watching his hometown burn to the ground – leaving Tifa was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He had struggled from the beginning to get over the guilt he felt over Zack and Aeris' deaths and the fear that Tifa would suffer the same fate if she relied on him. He told Zack he would live both their lives, but he wasn't even living one full life anymore.

When he told her back on the Highwind that starting over would be possible for him this time because he would be with her, he hadn't actually thought they would survive the night. The Lifestream had just absorbed Meteor and Holy, but no one knew what exactly would happen next, even as the Lifestream began to retract back into the planet. Cloud certainly couldn't say from where he stood whether everything on the ground would be alright. He had thought that, if they died, he could make Tifa happy before the end and know for himself what it felt like to be loved before he died.

After everyone survived, he found life with her exhilarating. Every day brought something new, and with her by his side he felt complete, but he could never get rid of that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that told him it was just a matter of time until she was taken from him, too. He had broken his promise to her multiple times already. Luckily, she hadn't died yet, but how much longer could they tempt fate?

For nearly two years he was able to drown out that ever-present fear and enjoy life with Tifa. When the headaches first started, he thought he could live with them. He knew they weren't merely headaches or even migraines. He recognized them immediately as the same flashes from when Sephiroth was controlling him. He knew that if they were hitting him again, there was no cure, as they had defeated Sephiroth and Jenova. If he was having the same headaches now, something else was wrong and there was no cure; it was just part of him.

Around the time the headaches returned, he started having a new nightmare: Sephiroth was able to control him again, and he would awake to find himself and the bed covered in blood. He'd check himself and find no injuries, so he'd look around the room for Tifa. There would be a pool of blood on her side of the bed, and a crimson trail leading out into the hallway. He'd start to hear a feminine voice calling his name softly. He could never tell whether it was Aeris or Tifa. When he'd step out of the bedroom he would find himself back at the Forgotten Capital, at the bottom of the walkway leading up to the platform where Aeris died.

He'd see the clear water beneath him moving gently and know that he needed to cross to the platform, but he couldn't see what was there. He'd hop from pillar to pillar until he reached the stony surface. He'd then look up and see not Aeris, but Tifa kneeling in front of him, her warm smile and tender brown eyes looking up at him to tell him everything in the world would be okay. Cloud would smile back at her for a moment before his smile would fade. He'd suddenly reach for his sword, knowing that he needed to stop but somehow continuing. He'd raise the sword above his head, screaming to himself to stop, that this was wrong, that this couldn't be real. And unlike the time he fought back Sephiroth's control to keep from killing Aeris, this time he would actually bring his sword down on Tifa's head. Everything would turn red. He'd see Tifa lying on the floor, covered in blood. His hands would be stained and dripping, and he'd wake up terrified that it had all been real.

He would immediately look to her side of the bed to make sure she was there, and he'd place a hand on her shoulder to make sure she was still warm, and he could feel her body softly rising and falling with each breath. He'd lean over and kiss her cheek or brush her hair back to kiss her neck. Then he'd curl up against her and hold her close for the rest of the night, whether he fell back asleep or not.

He never told her about these particular dreams. As the headaches got worse and more frequent, so did the dreams. He started to fear that not only was she in danger because bad things happened to the people Cloud loved, but that he himself was a danger to her.

He finally decided he needed to leave when the headaches began happening multiple times a day. If Sephiroth and Jenova were gone, and the headaches were getting worse, surely he was dying and incapable of protecting Tifa. He needed to leave – to save her. If she depended on him he would let her down in any number of ways, whether it be failing to protect her, or hurting her himself, or forcing her to watch him die. He couldn't do it.

If the headaches weren't caused by Sephiroth or Jenova, then it was something in his psyche that he needed to fix, and he didn't know how to do that. If anyone could save him, it was Aeris. He thought he just needed to go somewhere where Aeris' presence still lingered.

He said goodbye to Tifa because he thought it would be better if he were gone and she learned to live without him. He figured being away but knowing she was alive and happy was better than being selfish by making her suffer through his last few months on the planet. He couldn't do that to her. He'd rather she hate him than suffer any more through his weakness.

He pushed off the door and quickly walked down the steps to where he had parked his motorbike on the street. He planned to go to Aeris' church in Sector 5 of Old Midgar, just hoping for a miracle. Maybe he really did need Aeris to forgive him somehow for all of the pain and guilt to go away. If he could get that from the church, he could be home with Tifa tomorrow and figure out a way to apologize for making him think he was leaving when he was just taking a quick trip to the old city. He straddled his bike and took one last look at Seventh Heaven. From the street he couldn't see Tifa still sitting at that table, her head buried in her arms on the table, sobbing so violently her whole body was shaking.

He turned on the engine and adjusted his goggles, taking a deep breath before speeding away toward Old Midgar, praying a headache wouldn't strike while he was on his bike. Luck was not on his side, though he didn't crash as he had originally thought. He was able to sense the headache coming and pulled over before it really caught him. He knew riding that bike was going to be a risk going forward, but it was the fastest way to travel.

He reached the church less than an hour later and parked his bike out front. As he approached the front door, a couple vices came up behind him to try and steal some of his items, but with a swift slice of his sword, they were dropped. He pushed the doors open and looked around for any other creatures. They had never encountered monsters inside, but it had been nearly two years since Midgar fell. Who knew what could have turned up since then?

Cloud traipsed up the center aisle of the church, taking notice of how the interior looked exactly as it had three years ago when he fell through the roof and formally met Aeris. His footsteps were heavy as his eyes examined the pews, a few of which were intact while most had at least some damage or had been moved. A few were turned over and resting on each other. A couple were broken beyond a simple repair. He never knew what had happened inside this church that Aeris cared for, and at that moment he realized he had never once asked her.

In front of the pews, where the altar would have been, there was still a large hole in the floorboards where beautiful white and yellow flowers grew. It was the only part of the church Aeris tended to, and so it was the only part of the church still flourishing. Against the far walls on either side of the flower patch were broken boxes, barrels, and various other debris, including a heavily damaged organ.

Cloud passed the broken or damaged columns that were apparently just for aesthetic and the stained-glass windows that only allowed in a delicate moonlit glow rather than a streaming light source. The hole in the roof he had caused, however, let in a bright pillar of light that seemed destined to highlight the flowers and allow them to grow even in Aeris' absence, and even though it was the wee hours of the morning. The flowers looked as vibrant as they had when Cloud had landed on them all those years ago.

He stopped at the edge of the broken floorboards and looked down as the flowers moved gently by the breeze from his gait. The yellow and white lilies seemed to laugh at him as he squatted in front of him, knowing full well that this human didn't know the first thing about taking care of them. Cloud let their heavenly scent fill his nostrils as he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and letting the possibility of redemption wash over him.

When he opened his eyes, he could have sworn he saw Aeris on the other side of the flower patch, looking as beautiful and innocent as the day he first met her. She was also crouched down over the flowers, doing whatever it was that she did to make them grow so lively. Cloud blinked to make sure he wasn't seeing things – and she was gone.

As soon as he realized he had been seeing things he grasped his head as another headache started. He fell onto his side as pain gripped his head and he cried out in unintelligible words. When it was over, he sat up and stared at the flowers. How did he still get a headache in here? He couldn't explain why he thought he wouldn't have any pain in this church, but now that he had, he wondered how it could happen. It had also been only an hour since his last one; he hoped they wouldn't continue on this schedule. He could barely handle a few a day, how could he live with one every hour?

"Aeris, help," he said weakly to the flowers, as if they could relay the message for him.

He heard nothing back. He also felt no peace. Maybe he needed to see her again, as he had when he opened his eyes earlier. Maybe she really was here – at least sometimes – and that's why the flowers still bloomed.

He rolled out a sleeping back and made himself at home on the wooden floor near the flowers. Maybe if he stayed here long enough, she would come back, and he could ask her directly what he needed to do to save himself.

He stared at the flowers for a while before eventually falling into a fitful sleep. His nightmare this night did not involve him killing Tifa but replayed the day that Aeris died in excruciating detail as Cloud could do nothing but watch. He tried to save her, but his movements were slow, and no sound came when he tried to speak. He tried with all his might to get to her, but failed. Again.

When he finally woke he found himself bathed in the excess light from the roof, which warmed his skin and made him feel like maybe he would be okay. He heard a sound at the front door of the church and snapped his head to look. Zack was there, leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed and his head bowed with that simple, understanding-yet-cocky grin he wore sometimes.

"Zack?" Cloud asked.

His best friend turned his head to look at him, his Mako-infused blue eyes brightening before he altogether disappeared in an instant.

"Wait!" Cloud reached out a hand toward his friend and remained sitting with his arm raised for a moment before retreating as he realized Zack wasn't coming back. Could they not see him? Were they ignoring him? Was he simply just seeing things as a result of the headaches?

It was aggravating to watch Zack vanish without getting to ask for their help. Maybe they both hated him for his failure to help him. Maybe this whole "forgiveness" thing would take longer than he thought – or not be possible at all.

He at first thought he would leave soon after arriving to the church and finding nothing, but since he had seen the two apparitions he resolved to stay and try to talk to them. He'd leave the church occasionally for supplies but made sure to wander into parts of Edge he knew Tifa wouldn't be. She couldn't see him like this, and he couldn't let her think he had just moved down the street – that would be torture, for both of them. He also made sure to steer clear of the new Shinra building. Those Turks had been coming to Tifa's bar and he couldn't risk them seeing him either.

He tried talking to the flowers, to Aeris, throughout the days, thinking that if he told her what was on his mind and how sorry he was that she would at least appear before him to scold him or tell him to fuck off.

"Aeris, I'm sorry I failed you as a bodyguard," he told her. "I messed up everything and now you're dead and I don't know what to do. I need to know what to do so you'll forgive me…"

Nothing.

He took a deep breath and sat back on his haunches, closing his eyes and turning his face toward the light.

Flashback…

"You okay?" a sweet, lilted voice asked him even though all he saw was black.

He opened his eyes and immediately squinted as bright light burned his eyelids. Was he dying? All he saw was white light. He'd heard about this. When you die, you see a bright light and you walk toward it. The last thing he remembered was Tifa reaching for him and screaming his name. And… fire. Oh god, the reactor! The reactor exploded and Tifa and Barret were still there!

"This is a church in the Sector 5 slums," the gentle voice spoke up again, adding an edgy little chuckle. "It suddenly fell on top of me. It really gave me a scare."

Cloud sat up a little, realizing he was not dying, but had landed in what appeared to be a dilapidated church. A beautiful young woman crouched beside him wearing a dainty pink sundress and burgundy jacket. Her light brown hair was tied in a high ponytail with a pink ribbon and braided in the back, with thick sections of bangs framing her face and curling down to her neck. Bright green eyes stared at him with an underlying inquisitiveness. He suddenly felt… safe.

"… I came crashing down?" he asked the woman beside him. She laughed gently and nodded.

"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky," she said.

"Flower bed… is this yours?" Cloud asked, leaping to his feet and feeling guilty. "Sorry about that."

The woman stood up and dusted off her dress. "That's all right," she said. "The flowers here are quite resilient because this is a sacred place. They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar, but for some reason, the flowers have no trouble blooming here."

She paused for a moment and looked up into the light, which illuminated her features. She then looked back at Cloud and smiled warmly, in almost the same way Tifa did.

"I love it here," she said. She then studied his face for a moment and looked a little confused before again smiling. "So, we meet again."

Cloud was a little shocked but stared back at her a moment as a memory clicked. "Yeah, I remember you…" he said. "you were selling flowers."

"Oh! I'm so happy!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands in front of her chest. "Thanks for buying my flowers."

Cloud scratched the back of his head. He had given the flower to Tifa. It might still be in a vase at Seventh Heaven.

"Say, do you have any materia?" she asked suddenly. Cloud nodded.

"Yes, some," he said. "Nowadays you can find materia anywhere."

"But mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing," she said with a chuckle. Cloud looked at her, confused.

"… good for nothing? You probably just don't know how to use it," he said, a little too smugly.

"No, I do," the woman said without any hint of indignation. "it just doesn't do anything. I feel safe just having it. It was my mother's…"

She looked down at the flowers for a moment before looking back at Cloud again. She couldn't quite get over this feeling that she hadn't just seen him a few days ago when he bought her flower. He definitely looked like another boy she knew. Maybe they were brothers?

"Say, I feel like talking. Do you feel up to it?" she asked. "After all, here we are meeting again, right?"

"I don't mind."

"Wait here. I've got to check my flowers. It'll just be a minute." she then crouched down next to the flower bed and appeared to do… something with the flowers. Cloud had no idea how to take care of, well, anything it seemed, so he didn't know what she was doing or how it would help the blooms. After a few minutes the woman stood up and dusted off her dress.

"Just a little longer. Oh! Now that you mention it… we don't know each other's names, do we? My name is Aeris, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."

Cloud could see out of the corner of his eye a lanky man in a dark-blue suit with fiery red hair enter the building. A few Shinra troops walked in behind them. They appeared to be talking amongst themselves.

"The name's Cloud," he told Aeris, ignoring the men who had just entered. "Me? I do a little bit of everything."

"Oh, a jack of all trades," Aeris said, chuckling again.

"Yeah, I do whatever's needed. What's so funny? What are you laughing at?"

"Sorry… I just," she stammered, noticing the redhead for the first time. "Sorry, bad timing on my part. Cloud! Don't let it get to you!"

The blonde shrugged. What the hell was this girl talking about?

"Don't worry about me," the redhead said from the front of the church.

"Say, Cloud. Have you ever been a bodyguard? You do do everything, right?" Aeris asked. Cloud looked at her skeptically.

"… Yeah, that's right."

"Then get me out of here. Take me home."

"Ok, I'll do it… but it'll cost you." No woman he just met was worth doing anything for free. Maybe if Tifa asked him to do something just for her he might let the payment slide, but he was helping her fight Shinra with AVALANCHE and they had to pay.

"Well then, let's see… How about if I go out with you once?" Aeris asked.

Cloud wanted to object – his heart belonged to Tifa – but he recognized the man at the entrance to the church as one of Shinra's Turks. When they showed up, people died, and though Cloud may not be the most caring person these days, he didn't see any reason why this lovely, flower-loving woman should be killed for lack of payment.

End flashback…

He got her away from Shinra that day, but shortly after she was kidnapped and taken to Shinra HQ. He saved her, and did a mildly decent job of protecting her and Tifa up until the Temple of Ancients, when he hurt Aeris and gave the black materia to Sephiroth. Then she ran away in the middle of the night and he couldn't save her from Sephiroth's sword. He was a terrible bodyguard. And then he got Mako poisoning and failed to save Tifa when she was nearly executed on live TV. He was… a failure, just like Hojo said.

"Aeris, please!" he shouted at the light in the roof. "Help me to be better! I need to know how to protect… the ones I love."

Still nothing.

For two weeks he slept in the church, talking to the flowers, trying to get Aeris or Zack to reappear. They never did, and he decided that they must not have ever appeared at all. It was probably just wishful thinking or a result of the headaches, which were now occurring every few hours. At the end of the two weeks he decided they weren't coming back and he needed to get to the Forgotten Capital.

He gathered his things and left the church. A few minutes after the roar of his bike's engine could no longer be heard in the area, Tifa arrived. She had tried to let Cloud go and accept that he had left her for Aeris – or "forgiveness," whatever that meant – but she couldn't stop crying every night and at various times during the day. She held it together during work, but now she had broken down and made the journey to Aeris' old church to see if maybe he was there. She knew he was probably at the Forgotten Capital… but she had to try.

She walked the same path he had up the center aisle, looking around at the broken pews and columns. She reached the flower bed and knelt down beside it, breathing in the scent of the lilies and thinking about her deceased friend. She could never hate Aeris for taking Cloud's attention. Even Tifa was amazed by how much Aeris loved life. She was always so cheery, never nervous around Cloud, and always knew the right thing to say to make everyone laugh. Tifa was jealous of her for that as well. She was always trying to think of what to say, and Aeris would just go ahead and say it. She always seemed to have Cloud's attention, too. Tifa wanted more than anything to be there for him, but she was always too afraid of saying something stupid.

She reached out her hand to feel the soft petals of one of the lilies, amazed that the flowers were doing this well after two years of neglect. Something in this building was caring for them. Maybe it was just Aeris' presence.

Tifa looked around and for a second she thought she saw Aeris sauntering toward her from the back of the church, a gentle smile on her face. She was gone as soon as Tifa blinked, and the bartender shook her head with her eyes closed to make sure she wasn't crazy.

There was no sign of Cloud – or that he had been here at all. She figured it made sense. Cloud was probably at the Forgotten Capital right now. Tifa turned to walk back to the front doors of the church, twisting back at the entrance to look at the flowers one more time. With a heavy sigh, she left, tears already welling up in the corners of her eyes.

Meanwhile…

Cloud was speeding away from Midgar and heading for the highway that crossed the ocean to the northern continent. He would be at the Bone Village within a few hours. As he approached the coast, the alarm on his watch started beeping and he knew it was time to pull over. He had started calculating the time between his headaches while he was staying in Aeris' church and began setting his watch to test his timing before getting on his bike. Whenever his watch beeped, he would pull over and wait for the headache to come. When it was over, he'd set his watch again and continue driving.

As he travelled, he took notice of what seemed to be an increase of fiends in the world, but he dismissed the thought and assumed it just seemed that way because his bike was so fast. The distance between fiends was just shorter, apparently. His curiosity was peeked, however, as he was crossing the highway over the ocean. He had to dodge several monsters traveling the same direction as him. On the other side of the bridge there were also monsters going north as well, yet no monsters were traveling south.

While the road was clear, his thoughts returned to Tifa, as they always did whenever he was not having to defend himself, or talk to Aeris, or clutch his head in pain. He wondered what she had been doing the past two weeks and if she was moving on. While part of him didn't want her to, for sure, another part of him hoped she would forget him soon. She wanted a family – wanted him to be her family – and he couldn't give that to her. He couldn't make her dreams a reality. Not only was he likely sterile from the Shinra experiments, but he couldn't guarantee her safety let alone the safety of a child.

His watched beeped again and he pulled over on the side of the bridge. He watched as a herd of levrikons ran past him on the road. Odd, there were no levrikons on the northern continent. Where were they going?

Once they had passed, he took out his phone and, as he so often did, checked to see if Tifa had called. He hoped she would, just so he could hear her voice. He knew she probably wouldn't. He'd hurt her too badly this time. He wasn't merely missing like when he traveled through the Lifestream and ended up in Mideel. He had left her, and no matter how much he wanted to return to her, he couldn't. Not until he was cured, which he of course didn't think would happen.

No messages – from anyone. He sighed, leaning against the railing of the bridge and clicking through his phone. He ran an Internet search on her name – just to see if the tabloids were saying anything about her. Some awful reporter had done an article about Cloud leaving her and breaking her heart, including pictures taken at separate times; one of which showed Cloud leaving the bar and the other showed Tifa looking down and appearing sad. He closed his phone for a moment and exhaled. He hoped Tifa hadn't seen the article. She wasn't one to read that trash, but she might not be able to escape it at the general store.

He opened his phone again, this time to scroll through the pictures he had of her. They were so happy. Even though he was always worried something would happen to her, he couldn't help but smile when he was around her. She was so warm and caring, she would make him forget his problems without even having to say anything.

He knew he needed to let her go, but it was just too damn hard. He didn't know how to explain what he had done but staying away from her was just not working. He opened up his contacts and scrolled to her name, pausing and telling himself not to call. He had to let her go, had to let her move on and forget him. Calling her would just make it that much worse. But he was weak. He rubbed his thumb over her name in his contacts list, hoping she would call at that moment.

She didn't. He knew she was too strong for that.

Before he even realized what was happening, he was thrown back against the railing, bending backward enough to see the sky above him – and realized he was no longer holding his phone. It was flying in the air over his face, heading out to the ocean. Before even checking to see what had hit him he was twisting and reaching out to grab the device. It was just out of his reach, and he watched in horror as it flipped and rotated down into the ocean below, a small splash marking the end of its life.

Cloud leaned helplessly over the railing. There was no place to replace his PHS in Bone Village or the Forgotten Capital, and he couldn't just drive all the way back to Edge. Now he would have to go on with nothing but his memories and hope that she didn't try to call. He didn't want her thinking he left her to go live his life elsewhere – with someone else – even though that was preferable to having her watch him die. If she called and his number no longer worked, what would she think? He prayed at that moment that he would find what he needed at the Forgotten Capital quickly so he could return to her.

It was then he realized something was attacking him from behind and turned around to see a Kalm fang standing on its hind legs, slashing him with its front claws and snapping its teeth at him. He kicked the beast away from him – using a move Tifa had taught him – and withdrew his sword to slice it clean in half. A few other wolves had been hanging back and growling at him – probably the betas of the pack. With the alpha dead, Cloud made quick work of the others and returned to his bike.

The sooner he got to the Forgotten Capital, the better.

Later…

He arrived at the ancient city the next day after passing through Bone Village and being forced to chat with some of the diggers, who wanted to thank him for saving the planet. He took their praise in stride and offered simple platitudes in response so he could get away. What good was saving the planet if he couldn't save himself or care for the people he loved?

He rode through the Sleeping Forest, feeling even more melancholy as the grey-green glow of the forest enveloped him. When his phone beeped again he pulled over and leaned against a tree, waiting for the headache. After 10 minutes he checked his watch again. That's odd. He should have had one by now. If anything, they had been getting worse, so he should have been waiting less time for one to occur. He gave it another few minutes and set his watch again – just in case – before returning to his bike and continuing on to the ancient city.

It looked just as it had two years ago when they all gathered after Meteor to thank Aeris. The shellstone paths still led to the left, right, and center. While he was on his bike he had been able to avoid the monsters in the forest, even though it really did seem like there were more than there had been previously. He also noticed some creatures from the eastern continent. Were they migrating for some reason?

As he stood at the fork in the road he watched as a line of fiends took the right path beyond the shell houses and out of the city toward the mountains that led to Icicle Inn. Cloud took a battle position, but none seemed to bother him. It was as if they had a set path. He looked to the left and saw that it was empty. Odd.

He turned toward the center path and started toward the lake where he had buried her years ago. He eased through the tunnel leading to the lake; if he were attacked in there he would surely struggle in such a tight space. Thankfully, there were still no monsters elsewhere in the city except for that one path, so he arrived at Aeris' lake soon after entering the tunnel. The area was still cast in dark blue as the white trees gave off a soft glow. It was somehow both dark and light in this place at the same time, with a light beam similar to the one in the church shining down from the sky above.

"I'm here," Cloud said as he approached the lake.

He didn't feel any different.

He sat down at the edge of the water with his knees bent in the air and his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front. He closed his eyes and lifted his face up to the sky as he had done in the church, thinking that when he opened his eyes, he might see her. He took a deep breath and lowered his gaze, opening his eyes and looking across the lake.

Nothing.

Could she really be this angry with him? He wouldn't blame her. He'd hate himself even more than he already did if he were her. She had entrusted him to protect her and he failed. That was unforgivable.

"Aeris?" he asked after a long pause. Still nothing.

He sat at the edge of the lake until his watch beeped again. Another 10 minutes passed and he still hadn't experienced a headache. Maybe they were a temporary condition? If so, he just threw his life with Tifa away for nothing.

Nope, there it was. He brought his hands to his head as the headache finally came. He saw images of Jenova's horrific face flash before his eyes until the pain subsided. When he felt better, he calculated the time since the last attack and set his watch appropriately.

He decided to leave the lake for a while and wander down into the ancient city – to the place where it all happened. He plodded down the glass staircase, taking note of how the structures down below also looked exactly as they had years ago. He made his way down to the water and looked into it, seeing his reflection in the shimmering surface. He touched his cheek as his reflection distorted in the movement of the water, noting how alone the water assured him he was.

He looked up to the platform where Aeris had been killed and made his way to it. He sat on the opposite side from where she had rested while they fought Jenova after Sephiroth killed her, leaning back against the railing with one knee propped up in the air and his arm hanging off of it. He stared at the other side of the platform, remembering how Aeris looked right after her death, still with that peaceful smile.

He felt heavier here, if anything. Not better, not healthier, just, heavier. From his heart to his presence. He felt crushed. He still hadn't gotten any sense that Aeris was listening, even though his headaches did seem to be happening less frequently. Maybe Aeris had forgiven him and it was just taking time for the headaches to go away. He'd stay here until he was cured – or dead.

"Aeris, please, I'm so sorry," he said in the direction of where she had sat on the platform, imagining her sitting there in his head. "I tried. I promised you, but I failed. I told you I would protect you. But I couldn't save you."

Nothing.

He lowered his head and dropped his shoulders. What more could he do?

Cloud awoke when his watch alarm went off, not realizing he had nodded off. He mentally prepared for the pain again, but it didn't come. Something was going on down here and making him better.

He stood up to return to the lake, thinking that was probably a better place to seek forgiveness than where his ultimate failure had taken place. Cloud ascended the glass staircase, left the shell house, and walked to the water, looking out to the center of the pond where he had waded years ago to release her body to the planet.

Two weeks later…

"Hello?"

Cloud nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the voice, so sweet, so distant, and so impossible. He whipped around and suddenly, finding himself alone at the lake. He couldn't have just heard her…

"Aeris?"

"Mmhmm. You came, even though you're about to break," she said.

While Cloud couldn't see her, he felt her presence as if she were standing right next to him.

"That's a good sign," she continued. "So, why did you come?"

Had she not been listening to him for the past month? No matter, she was listening now.

"I think… I want to be forgiven," he said. "Hm. More than anything."

"By who?" Aeris asked, seeming genuinely unsure.

Cloud shook his head. Did she really not know? Or was she messing with him like she always had?

"By… you," he said, looking at the ground sullenly.

"Hmm. Isn't it time you did the forgiving?"

"What do you mean?"

Aeris chuckled sweetly. "You know, I never blamed you. Not once. You came for me. That's all that matters."

"Aeris?" Cloud asked, suddenly no longer feeling her presence. He looked around, almost desperately, for some sign that she had been there or was still there. It had been nearly a month since he left Tifa. His headaches were down to no more than two a day, and now he had heard from Aeris herself that she never blamed him for what happened.

Maybe… he could go home. Now that he had spoken to Aeris, his headaches should go away, right?

End notes: I know emo, introspective Cloud is a cliché but he was always meant to love Tifa, even if he still doesn't understand the saying about actions speaking louder than words. I wrote most of this chapter on a day that is particularly emotional for me, so I think a lot of my grief was worked in.