A/N: Rated M for language and sexual content.
Oh man, this is really it, the beginning of the end. Things are about to get really sad for those who have favored one man over the other. I've depressed myself just thinking about how this all ends, even though I love Cloud and Reno.
Jessie's line was taken from Final Fantasy 7 Remake, which I don't own (the rights to, that is, I definitely bought that game).
Chapter 46:
Tifa had managed to avoid Cloud and Reno for the most part over the past week after she returned from Rocket Town. Cid flew everyone home the morning after the wedding, landing outside Edge as the storm had dissipated into typical rainfall.
Cloud had walked with her back to Seventh Heaven that day, well, ran was more like it, since it was raining. He paused outside the front door, underneath the overhang, clearly wanting to say something to her but failing to find the words. He fell back on simply breathing her name to comfort himself.
"Tifa…" he said.
Saying her name, even if she didn't respond, even if he didn't know what else to say, reminded him that she was real, even if she was standing right in front of him. He couldn't explain it, but somehow saying her name helped stabilize him, cementing their history together. It happened, as long as he could still say her name.
She turned her back to the outside of Seventh Heaven's front door and tilted her head slightly to gaze at him with questioning eyes.
He knew what he wanted to say to her, but he had to wait. He scratched the back of his head while averting his eyes from her beautiful face for speaking again.
"Do you… want some help at the bar tomorrow?" he asked, preparing to beat himself up later for continuing to hide his feelings from her. He was drowning in his fear of rejection, grasping at the shore with dumb questions like he'd just asked. Eventually he'd either be swept out with the tide or climb ashore by admitting his feelings.
It was Tifa's turn to look away. She shifted to look down at her feet, hugging her arms around her stomach and nervously digging her toe into the wooden porch of the bar.
"Actually, Cloud," she began, as the blond's heart dropped in his chest. "I think I need to take a few days – or weeks – and be alone to figure out what I want."
It wasn't the worst thing she could have said in that moment, but it didn't mean Cloud was happy to hear it. Tifa looked so sad as she spoke, clearly tormenting herself with her own words, but now Cloud felt he couldn't reach out to comfort her. Had he done something wrong at the wedding to push her away? She looked up at him with glistening eyes that darted back and forth between his own eyes, unable to settle on either.
"When I'm with you," Tifa pushed air out of her mouth and rolled her eyes back with a slight shake of her head as she fought back tears, "I think, 'all I want is to be with you…'" She trailed off, not wanting to say the words Cloud knew she was thinking. He said them for her.
"And when you're with him, you feel the same…"
She looked up at him, tears threatening to escape the corners of her eyes down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry," she said, sounding just as she had the night she told Cloud and Reno she wasn't worth their love.
Cloud reached out to wrap his arms around her, saying "fuck it" to his earlier apprehension. She was being honest with him, and though it hurt, he wasn't going to ignore an opportunity to be there for her. He had, at one point in his life, gone through something so similar. When the part of him that had taken on Zack's personality loved Aeris, he could have had this same conversation with Tifa. Hell, he thought about having this conversation with Aeris, figuring the Cetra would be able to handle it better than Tifa. Aeris had this way of not letting anything get to her, but Tifa… Tifa carried the weight of the world on her shoulders even as she stood strong for her companions. Cloud loved that about her.
What would he have wanted Aeris to say if he told her he had feelings for both her and Tifa?
He didn't say anything once he had Tifa in his arms, just held her close with one arm on her lower back and the other stroking her hair over her shoulder blades. He shushed her softly as she cried into his chest. How many times had they stood like this since back in Aeris' garden? How many times had he been the reason she cried?
He didn't want to make her cry anymore – hadn't wanted to see her cry especially since he had come back. Cid had told Cloud he needed to figure out what was holding Tifa back from loving him, and he thought he knew what it was. Maybe it was a good thing she wanted some space; it gave him time to prepare.
He released her and pulled back to stand with his hands on her shoulders, lowering his head to meet her gaze as she sniffled. Once again, they were in their own little world as the city beyond the bar's overhang seemed nothing more than rain and gray.
"Take all the time you need," he said, even as the words pained him to say.
He was hopelessly devoted to this woman, always had been. He knew that whether she took weeks to pick him or let him go, he wouldn't want anyone else. He couldn't imagine a woman who could possibly mean more to him than Tifa Lockhart. If he had to spend a few days away from her for her to choose him, he could handle it.
"Really?" she sniffled again, her face lifting ever so slightly.
She didn't want to go a day without seeing Cloud or Reno, but she knew she'd never be able to make a decision by continuing the way things were. She needed to get away, clear her head, begrudgingly consider Yuffie's pros and cons lists and Shera's advice. She needed to know who she thought about most when she was alone. Even then, she didn't see how she could choose. When Cloud wasn't around but Reno was, they both tormented her thoughts daily. She couldn't imagine that changing if she temporarily cut off contact with both of them.
"Really," Cloud stated, rubbing her shoulders softly. "I'll be here when you're ready."
What else could he say, honestly? He couldn't demand she make a decision right then and there or on some other short timeline, even if that's what he wanted. Saying anything else might upset her, and he was at her mercy. He was always at her mercy, and he never minded.
"Thank you," she said, offering him a weak smile and tilting her head a little as the tears stopped flowing.
Cloud knew he had to have gained a few points by being understanding. Reno, Cloud thought, would have gone off the rails, probably. Now was the time to remain calm, collected, and sympathetic. Cloud and Tifa always found their way back to each other – no matter how many years and miles were between them.
Cloud leaned forward to kiss Tifa's forehead before giving her shoulders another squeeze and letting her go. He turned and walked down the front steps but paused before he reached the rain.
"Looks like the storm will end soon," he said, looking up at the light gray clouds still smothering the sky.
"I hope so," Tifa said, leaving the double meaning of their words unspoken.
Cloud gave her a gentle smile over his shoulder before heading out into the rain. He never minded bad weather, as so often during his Shinra days he would be outside on hot days and relish a cool rain. He crossed the street to head in the direction of his hotel, but he didn't go inside once he reached it. He had somewhere else he needed to go, so he continued past the hotel, deeper into Edge.
Their moment in Cid's living room had to have meant something, even if it was far too fleeting.
Tifa thought she'd get a reprieve from Cloud after their discussion, but he didn't stay completely away. He couldn't just let himself slip from her mind. A couple times throughout the week he showed up to fix things around Seventh Heaven – the beam on the front porch that had been damaged by fiends and further marred by the recent storm, the burnt-out light in the back alley, Tifa's truck. She couldn't find it in her heart to send him away, but she tried not to spend too much time around him, and he avoided flirting with her as best he could.
Reno was a little more difficult. She told him about needing space and time to figure out what she really wanted at the bar the night she returned from Rocket Town.
Flashback…
"You sure missed a good time here, babe," Reno told her after he and the Turks sat down at their usual table and Tifa approached to bring their drinks. Scotch for the three men, a vodka-soda for Elena, though Tifa asked the blonde Turk if that's what she wanted, since she could now order Phoenix Flames if she wanted.
Free of the awkwardness and anticipation following the surprise wedding merriment, Reno found it easy to flirt openly with his favorite bartender in a way Cloud could not earlier in the day.
"Oh yeah?" Tifa asked after setting down Reno's scotch glass.
"You haven't partied 'til you partied with the Turks during a storm," he responded with a toothy grin.
At this point Reno either didn't notice or didn't care about the responses he received from his fellow Turks when he made cheesy comments to Tifa. Rude rubbed his eyes as if he were embarrassed for Reno. Tseng and Elena exchanged smirks.
"Sorry, I prefer to stay dry," she responded in a tone only Reno caught as an inside joke.
Reno decided to let the obvious sexual response go, planning to text her about it later and instead of among his friends.
"Sounds like something happened to you during a rainstorm," Reno said with a sly grin. "Musta stuck with you good."
Tifa visibly tensed, hoping that only she and Reno caught the reference. It went over Tseng and Elena's heads, though the latter assumed this was an allusion to some past moment between Tifa and Reno. Rude, however, felt just the slightest sting of jealous anger in his gut, a rare feeling for him these days and one that only reared its ugly head when he learned something that Reno had done with Tifa while Rude still liked her.
It was raining – hard – the night Rude took Tifa out to dinner. He had always suspected something had happened that night, as Reno was in too good a mood the next day, a rare occurrence for him that Rude later realized always coincided with an encounter with Tifa. A regular visit to her bar never did it, but fighting her and AVALANCHE seemed to do it, at least after he quickly found a barfly to screw afterward. Reno had that same goofy attitude a couple times before Rude had his date with Tifa, and until Cloud came back, Reno was in that mood quite a lot. He had always convinced himself that it was his date with Tifa that made Reno avoid the bar for a week and try to forget about her. Now he realized something happened between Reno and Tifa that night, and his absence from the bar had nothing to do with turmoil over Rude's feelings. Or maybe it did but it was also part of some game Reno played – or maybe he couldn't let her go even back then…
The bald Turk had pushed his anger toward Reno out of his mind in the weeks since he found out about his redheaded partner's betrayal, but this brought it all right back into his mind. He didn't want to be angry again. He was over Tifa, at least enough to be in her and Reno's presence and help Reno win her heart, however impossible that may be with Cloud Strife around.
He had to get out of here before his emotions started to show, which for him still meant sitting quietly with his arms crossed and only grunting in response. But he knew that Reno would pick up on his irritation; the redhead seemed especially tuned to his partner's outward emotions.
No, he wouldn't let this get to him. He had moved past his anger and hurt and had forgiven Reno, seeing how much of an effect Tifa had on the sharp-tongued Turk.
Rude cleared his throat and let this feeling die with his breath.
Tifa didn't respond to Reno's comment after she tensed, instead returning to her place behind the bar to serve more customers.
Later…
It was after closing time when the Turks and a few other stragglers finally began to leave Seventh Heaven. Reno was last in line, making sure Tifa saw his cocky grin as he prepared to saunter out of her establishment. His eyes, however, seemed to beg her to ask him to stay and she suspected he would come back even if she didn't offer him a respite.
"Reno, wait," she said timidly just as he was halfway out the door.
She didn't see his smug, knowing grin before he turned back to face her, as her own eyes were looking at the floor.
"Knew you couldn't resist, babe," he said out of the corner of his mouth as he strolled back over to where she stood.
"I needed… to talk to you," she said, addressing the floorboards.
Reno's heart sank just a tad. Having not been in a real relationship before, he didn't quite get the overwhelming meaning of the phrase, though the way she said it sounded like what she said would not be pleasant. He never used that line on women, preferring to just leave without having any sort of conversation on the matter.
"Yeah?" he asked a little too easily, now looming over her without any malice.
"I think I need a break to figure out what I really need and who I really want…" she trailed off, afraid of how he'd react. She had worried Cloud would react negatively, but he didn't, so she hoped Reno would also be uncharacteristically mature about the whole thing.
"You still don't know?" he asked, trying to sound as cool as possible.
"I have so much fun when I'm with you and I think I want it to last forever, but I feel the same way when I'm with him…" she practically whispered, still not looking into Reno's eyes.
If she had, she would have seen them widen briefly with agony. The way she was when they were together, it was like no one else in the world existed. He'd forget he was even competing with Strife for the most part. Everything seemed to disappear when he was with her.
He continued to stare at her, his mouth having fallen open as his eyes squinted in disbelief. How was he supposed to respond? He knew what he was feeling and what he would do if left unchecked. He thought about all the horrible things he said to her that day in the alley when he attacked her relationship with Strife. Couldn't do that again. For sure.
He clenched his jaw and stretched his neck as he tried to swallow his bad instincts.
"Sucks. But I guess I get it. Do what ya gotta do."
He thought if he kept spewing platitudes it would keep him from lashing out. She could tell he was annoyed, but she couldn't blame him.
"How long, do ya think?" he asked, his tone now solemn with just a ghost of dismay.
He stood just inches from her, looking down at her small frame, trying to see if he could glean some sort of answer from her eyes.
"I don't know. I told Cloud the same thing this morning. Maybe days. Maybe weeks," she answered, looking up into his eyes as her irises glistened under the bar lights. "The way it is now – isn't working, and it's my fault."
"Hey now, don't get like that," Reno said, reaching out almost involuntarily to embrace her. "None of this is your fault."
He wouldn't tell her that he blamed Strife for the current situation, though if the guy never left, Reno never would have had a chance with Tifa. Could he truly hate the man? Maybe not completely.
She hadn't expected him to hug her like Cloud had done that morning and found Reno's comfort to be just as supportive and welcome. She wrapped her arms around his narrow waist, knowing this would be the last time she was able to hug him, possibly forever. She tightened her grip and buried her face into his chest as he placed a hand on the back of her head.
After what felt like too soon, she pulled away and wiped a few tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said, once again sounding defeated. "I don't want to drag this on. I don't want to hurt either of you."
"Weeks, huh?" Reno said, rubbing his chin between his thumb and index finger and looking slightly to the side. "It'll be tough, but I've had to endure that long without ya before."
Hopefully, he thought, her necklace would be ready before her decision. He'd paid handsomely to ensure it would be ready in a week and now prayed she wouldn't choose Strife before it was finished. Maybe it was his own narcissism, but he somehow thought in that moment that he would emerge triumphant from this distance.
He texted her later, after he had returned home: "I think you prefer it wet."
She didn't respond.
End flashback…
Reno had technically stuck to Tifa's wishes for space. He didn't join his fellow Turks when they visited Seventh Heaven, though they stopped in occasionally. Elena would try to help Reno by making comments about him whenever Tifa stopped by their table. Things like, "he's a changed man," and "he saved a kitten today." Tifa didn't know if Elena was always telling the truth in her claims. A few times, Tseng scolded her, and Tifa could tell that at least once he told Elena she was doing more harm than good as the bartender walked away from their table.
And while Reno didn't pop up to surprise her in person or offer to help around her home like Cloud had, the redhead still helped at the theater. And every other day or so, gifts would be left at the back door in the alley that even though unmarked, were clearly from Reno. The first present was a white dress made of a flimsy material that was extremely short and low-cut. Tifa groaned and smacked herself in the forehead for suggesting Reno owed her a dress for the one he ripped the night of the previous rainstorm.
That was the only gift that was even the slightest bit sexual in nature. He also sent her a couple elixirs, a mastered Lightning materia, and a bouquet of pink, purple, and yellow lilies.
After a week of the men continuing to try to woo her, Tifa decided she needed to completely remove herself from Seventh Heaven, at least for a little while.
Barret never told her what happened during his meeting with Reno and Shinra. She tried calling and texting him, but he wouldn't give her a straight answer. Tifa finally reached out to Elmyra to at least see that Barret wasn't hurt or in danger following the meeting. Elmyra assured her that Barret was fine but wouldn't say what had happened. Frustrated, she figured she'd have to wait and get the story from Reno – or not – once she made her decision.
On the morning of her day off, Tifa locked up the bar and made her way through Edge with a small backpack, making sure she wouldn't be noticed by Cloud or Reno. Her destination: Aeris' church in the Sector 5 slums. She just hoped Cloud didn't still frequent the building.
It was a long walk, but Tifa had time and looked forward to the exercise. She was back to training, but without daily monster attacks she was getting a little bored, a thought that surprised her considering how devastating and annoying the constant stream of fiends had been just a couple weeks earlier. Now she walked the full distance to Old Midgar without any issues. Once inside the old city, however, she had to deal with the fiends that either remained from before Meteor or had taken up residence in the wreckage. At least there weren't as many as there had been during the recent crisis, and Reno's mastered Lightning materia helped immensely in some cases.
She climbed through a crumbled part of the outer Midgar wall and into the junkyards of Sector 6. She had heard Wall Market had been revived somewhat, but she avoided that section of the sector, not wanting to walk down that memory lane.
Sector 5 didn't look that much different than before Meteorfall. There was a much smaller plate to fall over the sector, and it had already seemed like it had been crushed even before the calamity. She remembered the collapsed expressway and mountains of broken machinery that lined the sector way back before even the Sector 7 plate fell.
She took the same path she had when she went looking for Cloud at Aeris' church two months ago. She walked up the front steps and pushed open the heavy double doors that remained on their hinges even after all the carnage. She took noticed of the broken pews and columns that still lay as they had all those years ago. One foot in front of the other, Tifa approached Aeris' flowers, still blooming as vibrant as ever. There were no monsters in here, ever, just peace and a heavenly presence that couldn't quite be described.
The martial artist crouched down at the edge of the broken wood panels just outside the flower bed and brought her hand to a yellow lily. It looked just like the one Cloud had given her back at Seventh Heaven when he returned from his first reactor bombing with Barret. She still remembered the way he presented it to her with flair, turning and lowering his head as if he were about to recite poetry. She had never imagined he would be so thoughtful. Of course, she later learned that Aeris had given him the flower, but at a time when she was just a flower peddler and Cloud didn't know who she was.
She hunched over to bring her nose closer to the flower and inhale its scent as if it might give her some resolution.
Nothing.
She sat back on her heels and removed her backpack. She didn't want to stay here for weeks like Cloud had, but she had prepared to stay for a few hours or possibly the night to see if her departed friend might give her some wisdom and clarity.
She knew it was a long shot; Aeris had reached out plenty of times to guide Tifa thus far. Aeris was the reason Tifa fled the Forgotten Capital to find Cloud dying on her doorstop. Aeris also had shown her the way out of the Lifestream – and into Reno's arms – while fighting Jenova in the Northern Crater.
Could Tifa really ask her for more? Especially with something like this? What if Zack appeared, as Cloud claimed he had? Would either of them even consider Reno an option for her?
She supposed that, perhaps, was what she needed to hear. That Reno was the wrong choice and she should never have entertained him as an option, that her heart was just flat out incorrect for ever having feelings for him in the first place.
Tifa leaned back on her arms and stretched out her legs to the side of the flower bed, letting her head fall back as she looked to the ceiling before closing her eyes. She must have fallen asleep for a while because she was "awakened" from her meditating by a sweet, familiar voice.
"I can't help you, you know," Tifa heard Aeris' voice.
She scrambled to look around the church to find where her friend stood. An apparition was kneeling down on the other side of the flower bed, looking down at the lilies in resolute contemplation. Tifa was amazed to see her friend, as Cloud had said she didn't appear to speak with him for weeks.
"Aeris, you're here!" Tifa blurted out, though she was afraid her friend could just as quickly disappear.
"Hmm? Of course I am," Aeris responded as if it were a silly question.
"Cloud said he didn't hear from you for weeks."
"Did he? I guess that explains it," the flower girl said with a smile as she continued to tend to her flowers. Her ghost hands brushed right through the buds, but she must have been helping them somehow.
"What do you mean?" Tifa asked, turning to her side to sit on her left hip, propped up on outstretched arms.
Aeris giggled and stood up, dusting off her dress and moving to a different area of the flower bed.
"I was wondering why he kept asking about things I already answered," she said without looking at Tifa. "I don't think he could hear me with the headaches and the Jenova cells."
Tifa digested the information. It had always bothered her that it took Aeris so long to reach Cloud. She couldn't imagine her deceased friend had been ignoring him, and this made sense. Cloud hadn't been in a position to listen to anybody until his headaches dissipated.
"Aeris, please, I don't know what to do."
"Why does everyone think I have all the answers?" Aeris said with another giggle that let the bartender know she wasn't annoyed.
"You always did."
"Did I?"
"It seemed like it."
"Well, not this time. This is something you have to feel," Aeris said while walking over to sit next to Tifa. "When I first met Cloud, he reminded me so much of Zack, at least the way he carried himself and his eyes. For a long time, I struggled with that."
Aeris brought her knees up beneath her chin and hugged them.
"He brought up all these old feelings of Zack and I wondered if he was alive out there somewhere and if Cloud could help me find him," she continued. "As we went on, I realized he wasn't like Zack but he had his own wonderful qualities and drawbacks. I felt like I had to choose between the hope of Zack and a very real Cloud."
Tifa hung her head at those words. She didn't get to choose Cloud back then, but Aeris could have.
"But by the end, I realized Cloud wasn't mine to choose, he was yours," Aeris responded, sensing her friend's distress.
"And Reno?"
"It looks like you've had a lot of fun together," Aeris said in a teasing tone that harbored no judgment. "And, you know, he, Rude, and Tseng were always nice when they came around. They never meant me any harm, even if they were supposed to take me to Hojo."
"Did you get to know them?"
"A little. I tried asking Rude all kinds of questions, but he wouldn't answer them," she laughed and shook her head. "Reno always seemed impatient with me, but he made sure no one ever hurt me, and Tseng, well, he kept anyone from taking me unless I went willingly."
Tifa let out a soft "hmm," as her friend spoke.
"But look how they both are around you!" Aeris said, gently elbowing Tifa in the shoulder. "They're both very different men now from the versions I knew – that's because of you."
"I guess," Tifa said. She wasn't getting anywhere in her decision.
"They're definitely both smitten," a deep but jovial voice said from the doorway leading to the back of the church.
Tifa looked up to see Zack leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and smiling. He strolled over to the two women and sat down next to Aeris, who smiled at his presence.
"This isn't very helpful," Tifa told the pair.
"Like I said, I can't help you," Aeris responded. "It's a choice you have to make."
Tifa leaned back on her hands and stared at the back wall of the church. "I guess," she said. "I wish it were easier."
"Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy," Aeris said with a deeper smile.
Tifa sighed. She wasn't going to find her answer here, but she could at least enjoy her time with her friend and maybe forget about her dilemma for a little while. A devious grin graced her lips before she spoke.
"Zack, remember when you didn't know about magic back in the Nibelheim mountains?" she asked.
Zack turned a deep shade of red, though he was just an apparition, and Aeris looked amused and shock.
"What?" she asked, surprised. "How did you not know about magic after everything we talked about?"
Zack shook his head. "I knew about magic; I was just wondering about how you could use it from materia and how individual materia orbs held different powers."
Tifa and Aeris shared a laugh.
"I didn't know you two knew each other," Aeris said.
"Remember Cloud's story about Nibelheim? Zack was actually the SOLDIER who was there. Cloud was the Shinra grunt," Tifa explained.
"Ohhhh, that's why the story never made sense. I always suspected…"
The three joked and talked long into the night before Tifa had to sleep. In the morning, she decided it was best to leave. She was no closer to a decision and figured there was one other place she could seek answers. She wanted to hug Aeris goodbye, or stay and chat for… ever, but she knew she couldn't. At least now she knew where she could come to talk to Aeris whenever she wanted.
Tifa traveled back through Sector 5 and Sector 6 toward the gate that separated the latter from Sector 7. The last time she had stood there was to say goodbye to her friends from AVALANCHE after the plate fell.
This time, however, as she approached with the sun rising high into the sky and beaming sunshine down upon the ruins of Midgar, something was different. The gate was still smashed and in its place stacked numerous parts of the plate from above, but attached to all of that was a large plaque that Tifa wasn't close enough to read yet. In front of the former gate was also what appeared to look like the beginnings of a memorial and garden, with a few park benches and an unfinished paved area. To the side of the benches were a few stacked bags of mulch and soil and a wheelbarrow, as well as more tiling, a patching trowel, and bags of cement.
Tifa approached slowly. It was clear someone had been here, perhaps recently, and even though this project looked harmless, the person building it might not be.
She inspected the honeycomb terracotta tiles beneath her feet and glanced at the benches on either side of her. There was a large, round plot of dirt in the middle of the tiles, possibly for a fountain. Tifa wondered how anyone could get it to work and whether someone was going to try to get flowers and shrubs to grow in the abandoned slums.
She continued walking slowly toward the destroyed gate, just as she had in Aeris' church. One foot in front of the other. Her footsteps were heavy yet tentative, and she approached the plaque to caress it with one hand.
This monument is dedicated to the indomitable spirit of all those who lost their lives in Sector 7 when the plate fell – and to the brave heroes who tried to save them.
Tifa gasped as she read the words, pulling her hand back and placing it over her mouth. This all looked so new, certainly newer than if it were placed before Meteorfall. Who would build a monument in the slums when everyone lived in Edge now? Well, except for some monsters and junkies, and Tifa doubted any of them could have done this.
It must have been Barret, but he hadn't told her about it, and why wouldn't he seek her help? It certainly wasn't Cloud. He wouldn't have had the time. Maybe someone who lost a loved one in the plate crash and hadn't been able to find forgiveness, like her.
Tifa continued to stare at the plaque, hoping to receive an answer from the raised bronze letters cast against a dark oxidized bronze background. She wondered if the creator of the plaque knew Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie and everything they did to stop the plate from falling. Or maybe "heroes" was referring to someone else, someone close to the creator's heart.
She traced a finger over the letters as if she could sense the backstory, remembering back to that awful day. Along with Nibelheim, Aeris' death, and Cloud leaving her, the Sector 7 plate falling had been one of the worst experiences in her life.
She remembered watching Wedge fall from the pillar, surviving only because he used a grappling hook to break some of the fall. She remembered leaving him in Aeris' care so she could go help Cloud fight Shinra, never once thinking it might be the last time she ever saw her pudgy friend. She remembered asking Aeris to save Marlene. She remembered seeing Biggs lying dead against the pillar a few flights up. She remembered Jessie's last words as she flirted with Cloud one last time.
"Oh no… Tifa's crying. Did I say something wrong? Don't you guys… have somewhere to be? It's not polite… to stare… you know…"
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she continued to stare at the plaque. Behind it lay her friend's corpses, never to be found or identified. They never got a proper burial, just buried beneath rubble as if they were just another part of the plate.
"What should I do," she asked them quietly. She knew they couldn't answer like Aeris. She was able to appear because she was a Cetra who could flow through the Lifestream as a ghost. Zack was able to do the same because of the mako infusions he received from Shinra. Cloud would be able to traverse the Lifestream when he died, but Tifa probably couldn't. She, like Jessie and her other departed AVALANCHE friends, would be absorbed into the Lifestream, only visible in their last moments before death, frozen, to anyone unlucky enough to have fallen in, as she had with Cloud.
Just as the tears began to run down her cheeks, Tifa heard soft footsteps coming up behind her. She quickly turned around into a fighting stance with her fists raised in the air to protect herself from whatever or whomever was approaching. In the ruined slums, the odds were against the feet belonging to anyone or anything friendly.
Tifa lowered her fists and softened when she saw who was approaching. It was Reno, and even though she had just been prepared to fight him, he didn't look fazed. He stood on the terracotta tiles in his black Turk suit, the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled up past his elbows and one hand holding his jacket, which was slung over his shoulder. A lit cigarette dangled from his bottom lip and his eyes were focused on her yet somehow not engaging with her.
Without doing anything to acknowledge her presence, he draped his jacket over the back of one bench. He then reached to grip the cigarette between his index and middle fingers and extracted one last drag before flicking the offending item off into the distance. He opened his mouth to let the smoke float out easily, almost as if he weren't exhaling at all.
Still not saying anything, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of mint gum. He removed a stick with his teeth just as he would a cigarette, but instead of lighting it, he unwrapped it and folded it into his mouth. He placed his hands into his pockets as Tifa crossed her arms in slight annoyance.
"Did you follow me here?" she asked, her tone somewhere between genuine concern and a demand.
Without showing any reaction or flinch, Reno replied, "Nah, came here to work, yo."
Tifa looked at the tiling and benches again. Never in a million years would she have thought Reno could be behind it.
"Did you do this?" she asked. "For me?"
Reno exhaled in amusement. "That's some ego you got there," he said, remembering the time she used that same line against him outside Seventh Heaven. The night it rained…
Tifa stared at him with questioning eyes, slightly furrowing her brow in confusion. Reno grinned.
"This was actually for me," he said casually, as if no one could question him. "Started petitioning Reeve for it after the Meteor statue went up, yo. But he got no love for Turks."
"Reeve refused?" Tifa said. Somehow, she believed Reno even though it made no sense.
"I told ya I always felt bad about the plate. Wayyyy back when. You still hated me," he chuckled at that last part. How things had changed. "Reeve didn't want to spend the money when it could be spent in Edge helping people. That, and no one goes into Old Midgar anymore except sadists."
Tifa scoffed and shifted her weight to her hip.
"So, I started building it myself," Reno said proudly. "Ordered the plaque and hung it up and started working on this little area," he added, motioning around him. "Thing is, I know destruction and electricity, not tiles and fountains and shit."
Tifa let out a short laugh.
"You've been working on it for over a year?"
"Nah. I started it after Reeve said no for the last time, but I got sidetracked with Rufus' bidding and… you," he said, scratching the back of his head.
"I see."
"But I started again this week. Had nothin' better to do since I can't annoy you," he said with a lopsided grin.
Tifa quirked an eyebrow and let one side of her lip curl into a smile.
"You really started this before anything happened between us?" she asked, still skeptical.
"Honest, babe. You can ask Reeve."
Tifa resigned herself to do just that.
"I never expected this from you," she said after a brief pause.
"There's some part of you that still sees me as just a Turk, huh?"
Tifa hung her head sheepishly. "I guess."
"I guess it's good that even you still think I'm a badass. Maybe I haven't lost my edge, yanno?" Reno replied with a half-hearted laugh. Tifa gave him a knowing glance.
"Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. You haven't seemed so evil these past few weeks."
"I'll take it," he accepted.
"By the way," Tifa asked, more confident now. "What happened in your meeting with Barret?"
"He didn't tell you?" Reno asked. Tifa shook her head. "Aww, geez. He refused to sell so I had to get menacing, yanno? But as I stood there slowly clubbing my EMR into my hand, the lawyers offered to lease the land and pay him royalties."
"What?!" Tifa asked, astonished.
"Yeah, like, what the fuck? They coulda told me that was an option so I didn't go in there all worried I'd screw things up with you..."
"Barret didn't tell me..." she wondered why. Would it have been so difficult?
"Oh hey, I got ya somethin'," Reno said, snapping her from her thoughts as he turned to his displaced jacket and rummaged through an inside pocket to pull out a jewelry box.
"You shouldn't be buying me gifts, Reno…" she admonished gently.
"Last one, I swear," he said, holding up three fingers as if to give the scout's honor.
It was then he finally closed the gap between them, still keeping an emotional distance even as he presented her with the black velvet box.
"What's this?" Tifa asked before opening it.
"Ya gotta open it," he prodded.
She grimaced at him before placing a hand on top of the box and digging her fingernails between the lid and bottom, prying it open to reveal a stunning diamond and emerald necklace. A heart-shaped pendant, encrusted with diamonds, hung from a thick silver chain. A large emerald, Tifa couldn't even guess how many carats, also shaped like a heart, seemed to almost float in the center of the silver heart.
"Oh my God," she said, gently lifting it out of the box. "This is gorgeous."
"Designed it myself," he said a little too smugly. She liked it, and he was over the moon that he had done something right.
"It's my birthstone," Tifa said, running her fingers over the emerald.
"I know," Reno informed her before closing one eye and looking up with the other as he tried to remember something. "It also symbolizes peace, balance, healing, and bonding. Oh, and fertility, but I'll just ignore that one for now."
Tifa chortled at his comment, continuing to stare at the jewelry. Could she really accept this? She studied the large emerald as everything came together. What had been missing from Reno all this time? Repentance. He had shown that with the memorial. He was building that without the desire to impress her. The necklace represented what else she was missing from him: The idea that he wasn't going to leave her. It wasn't a full commitment, but if they continued to see each other it was enough for her to believe he wasn't just in it for the conquest anymore. There was no way he would have spent the time, money, and energy creating this for her just to win a competition against Cloud.
"Wanna try it on?" he asked after she was silent for too long.
She looked up at him and nodded, smiling from ear to ear. He motioned for her to turn around and she obeyed, lifting her thick hair off her shoulders so he could place the necklace around her neck and clasp it in the back. Tifa put a hand on the pendant as he attached the chain, so fearful that it would fall off.
When he indicated he had it secured, she turned to face him with wonderment sparkling in her eyes, which made him offer his trademark grin.
"Beautiful," he said as he looked at the necklace resting on her collar bones. The pendant hung just above her cleavage.
Tifa reached forward to hug him, whispering "Thank you" into his chest. Reno was pleasantly surprised by her action and reached his arms around her to rest his hands on her upper back. They stayed like that for several minutes before Tifa heard Reno said something she really couldn't believe. Was her mind playing tricks on her, the wind whispering things she didn't even know she wanted to hear?
"What?" she asked.
If she misheard or heard something that had never been said, no harm, no foul. But if he did, indeed, say what she thought he said, she'd get to hear it again and be sure. Reno pulled back to hold her at arms' length and looked deep into her eyes.
"Tifa, I love you," he said with more commitment than she'd ever heard from him before.
"I… really?" she stammered, still disbelieving. Reno laughed.
"Yeah, crazy huh? I've only said that to two women in my entire life, and they were both blood," he said, scratching the back of his head nervously.
Tifa hugged him again, tighter this time. He rested his chin on the top of her head.
"I only just admitted it, yo," he said, just as effortlessly as if he had just asked her if she wanted a piece of his gum. "I never felt this way before, though. Kinda scary, huh?"
Tifa looked up from where her cheek rested against his chest. "Yeah," she said before squeezing him.
"I don't want to lose you, babe," he said, looking into her eyes once more.
"I don't want to lose you, either," she said, almost sadly. "Reno… this is… this is everything I needed from you…"
The memorial especially had done more to bring her closer to him than anything else. Always, just under the surface waiting to be scratched, was that fear that he never really cared about dropping the plate on Sector 7 and would do it again if Shinra asked. She had always avoided that question.
Him saying he loved her also helped, more than the trinket, even though it was beautiful. Something in Reno truly had changed since he began trying to hook up with Tifa. He wasn't the same man he was when she first fought him on the plate. He wasn't even the same man he was a month ago when all he seemed interested in was sex.
"I know you needed time to think, but since you were here, I figured I'd just give ya the necklace now," he said, pulling back a little.
"Thank you," she replied calmly, though her heart was doing flip flops. No one had said "I love you" to her since long, long before Cloud left. "Reno?"
He looked down at her. "Yeah?"
"I love you, too," she said.
She didn't see Reno's eyes light up as the sun was behind his head, blinding her from the edges of his hair spikes. He tightened his grip on her and picked her up off the ground, spinning her around a few times before putting her feet back on the tiles.
"So, what happens now?" he asked, somehow still dreading the answer.
Tifa buried her face in his chest again. This was going to be painful. "I guess I have to talk to Cloud…" she trailed off.
Reno reached down suddenly to cup her face in his hands – his usual move – and kiss her with all the force that had been building inside him over the past week. They quickly fell to the ground beneath their feet, with Reno on top of her briefly, before lifting her onto his lap as he sat up, his legs crisscrossed and Tifa straddling him with her legs wrapped around his waist. His hands were greedier than ever before, wanting to feel every inch of her back in a rushed and haphazard fashion, as if he had forgotten his usual moves, as if he feared she would disappear if he let her go.
"I'm gonna spoil you senseless, yanno," he breathed into her mouth. "In every definition of the word."
Tifa didn't know if the "word" he was referring to was "spoil" or "senseless," but she supposed both meant essentially the same thing. Reno started to ravish her earlobe before moving onto her neck and shoulders. He definitely wanted to go further, but he knew that just because she had chosen him didn't mean he could get inside her again. It'd look too much like he did all this just for sex, when he really, truly, hadn't. But damn if the thought didn't cross his mind. He'd waited this long, he could wait until after she let down Strife.
"Reno…" she said, placing her hands on his shoulders and pushing herself back just a little.
She said it in the way that it always played in his head, making him melt in a manner he felt was undignified, even if it wasn't that noticeable.
"We should wait…" Tifa said.
Words he didn't want to hear right now. He wasn't at full attention, but the fact that just her panties were rubbing against his crotch was definitely having an effect. He took a quick glance down to torture himself. Her skirt had ridden up to her hips as she straddled him, and he could see the thin, lacy piece of fabric barely covering her anatomy. Black, just like when he caught a glimpse in her bar as he gave her stitches.
"You're killing me, babe," he said in a low growl, his loins now aching.
"I know, I'm sorry, but I think I should have the talk with Cloud first," she said.
Reno groaned to let her know he knew she was right but still didn't like it.
"Yeah, I gotcha," he said, holding her close and rocking her. "I can wait a little longer for you to do what's right."
This Reno was hardly the same man she knew years or even months ago. Tifa wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder, letting him rock her gently. Had she made the right choice? It didn't matter who she would choose, there would be a fallout and she would suffer from lingering fears for a while. She'd be asking the same question if she were sitting on Cloud's lap right now, she was sure.
But she had to choose, and Reno had just negated the concerns she had about moving forward in a relationship with him.
After a few more minutes of holding each other, Tifa lifted her head and frowned.
"I need to get back to open the bar," she said sadly, not wanting to leave him.
"If you hadn't told me you loved me, I'd be dying right now," Reno joked.
"I know, I'm sorry," she responded before shifting to get out of his embrace.
He remained seated as she stood up and adjusted her skirt before he rose as well.
"When do you think you'll tell him?" he asked, his hands finding their way back into his pockets.
"I'll ask to talk to him tomorrow," she said.
Reno reached out to hold the emerald pendant in his palm. "Don't lose this in the meantime," he teased.
Tifa placed her hand over it once again and wrapped her fingers around it to keep it safe.
"I won't," she said with a smile. "Will you be in the bar tonight?"
"Probably not a good idea since I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off ya," he said, scratching behind his ear.
Tifa chuckled. "Probably for the best, then."
"How about this," Reno said. "Meet me at the Meteor monument in the middle of Edge tomorrow night before you open the bar."
Tifa liked how he was thinking. It was romantic.
"Deal," she said before kissing him on the cheek and turning back toward the town. "You coming?"
"I came here to work, babe," he said with a grin.
Tifa laughed and nodded her head. "Okay then, see you tomorrow night," she said.
"Can't wait, Teef," he said with a wave as she started walking away.
He watched until he could no longer see her before plopping down on the bench and running his hands through his hair. Was it all a dream?
"I love you, Tifa," he said quietly. It felt good to say it out loud.
Meanwhile…
Tifa walked slowly back to her bar, processing what she had just done. She chose Reno. For real. Suddenly all the fears she always had assaulted her brain and she attempted to squash them. He had just assuaged those concerns.
But what would she possibly say to Cloud? After everything they'd been through, how could she tell the man that meant so much to her for so much of her life that it was over? How would he take it?
Tifa inhaled for a few seconds before exhaling for a good while. There was no easy way to do this. It was never going to be easy, no matter who she chose. It wasn't a case where one man was just so awful she could cast him aside like he was nothing. She loved them both, and couldn't imagine how she would break the news to all her friends.
She pulled out her phone and found Cloud's number.
"Can we talk tomorrow?" she typed before hitting send.
End notes: AHHHHH this is killing me. I cried for an hour last night thinking about the ending. Stay tuned…