Sparks and Steel

by T.C.Rose

Tifa must choose between the man she's loved since her childhood and a man she once considered her enemy. Cloud/Tifa, Reno/Tifa. Incorporates some elements of OTWTAS and AC but does NOT take place in those worlds. Lime/Lemon Content. Ongoing rewrites to improve the story. Chapter 27 replaced 7/26/2022.

47. The Day His World Stood Still

A/N: Rated M for language and sexual content.

I know I'm going to lose some of you with this chapter. I wrote it while listening to sad music, while depressed, and cried as I wrote. But I know some of you will get angry. That's okay, like I said, I wrote this story for me.

Chapter 47:

Reno stood in the center of Edge, in front of the monument dedicated to the Chosen Day. It wasn't night, but Seventh Heaven opened at 5 p.m., and he had told Tifa to meet him before it opened. He looked at his watch for the hundredth time.

4:22 p.m.

The sun was beginning to set since the nights were getting longer, but it wasn't romantically dark as he would have liked. He thought it would be more impactful if they met beneath the monument under the moonlight, with the few stars visible that weren't drowned out by the city's light pollution.

Reno was beyond uncharted territory at this point. He ran out of schemes and knowledge the minute he realized he wanted to keep seeing Tifa after they had sex. Everything since that day, just two weeks ago, had been new to him. He felt like he was alone in the middle of the ocean with nothing but the life raft in which he sat, bobbing up and down in the sea water as he worried a rogue wave was just over the horizon, threatening to take him out for good. He thought that telling Tifa how he felt would bring him to the shore in salvation, but he was more lost than ever.

He didn't know how to be a boyfriend. He had no experience in this department and had no role models around that could help. Rude had one girlfriend in all the time Reno knew him, and that was a brief relationship with a former member of AVALANCHE way before either of them knew of Tifa Lockhart. Elena apparently had some boyfriends outside of work occasionally, but they were never really serious and Reno never met them. And Tseng, well, he had only started dating Elena recently and Reno really didn't know what happened when they weren't all together.

And so here he was, standing at the monument in one of his freshly laundered black Turk suits (he had several of them), holding a bouquet of roses, watching cars drive past in the roundabout that surrounded the Meteor statue. He knew that now had to be simple, had to be easy. It couldn't just be sex and surprises. He needed to be grounded in a way he had never been before. Nibelweiss flowers were too intense. The colorful lilies had served their purpose. Red roses were the universal symbol of love and relationships, so that's what he brought.

He knew it wasn't typical for a Turk in uniform to be standing around with a bouquet of roses and clearly waiting for someone with a lopsided grin on his face. People walking along the rounded sidewalk and even a few people in cars turned to stare at him with fearful confusion. Was something bad about to happen? Bad things always happened when the Turks were around. He couldn't possibly be doing what it looked like he was doing: Waiting for a date.

He checked his watch again: 4:26 p.m. Where was she?

His heart had been racing the past twenty minutes as he continued to just stand where he was, looking like a forlorn lover who had been stood up. Tifa had chosen him the day before. They agreed to meet here before Seventh Heaven opened. But they, stupidly, hadn't mentioned a specific time and he thought texting for confirmation was a little too anxious. He could wait. She had to arrive before 5:00 p.m.

He searched through the crowds of people and cars, walking around the monument in case she might appear from a different direction. Nothing. Just strangers, going about their business and either ignoring him or giving him quizzical stares. He returned once again to the side of the monument that faced Seventh Heaven. The bar was too far away for him to see it, but his eyes were set in that direction. A sea of people seemed to be blocking his view, wearing dull colors and blending into the background, a faceless crowd that seemed only to exist to increase his heart rate.

And then, like a flower that found a way to survive in infertile soil in a dreary world, she appeared. He saw her through the crowd during a split second where she wasn't looking straight forward; her eyes were on the ground and she hadn't looked up to find him.

And then he saw her face.

Earlier that day…

Tifa did, in fact, call Reeve to confirm Reno's story about the Sector 7 monument. She didn't distrust the Turk, it was more like she wanted to hear something about him while she waited for Cloud to arrive for their conversation. The conversation she had been dreading.

Reeve recounted how annoying Reno had been in the early days of Edge, trying to get the Sector 7 memorial built. The Shinra executive explained that Sector 7 was still a hole in his own heart and that he welcomed the idea of the memorial in principle, but just as Reno had said, he didn't want to allocate any money away from the people of Edge for something that few, if any, would ever visit. The Meteor statue, he said, was different because even though it didn't help residents with food or shelter, it brought people together and carried an ineffable quality.

Tifa understood. She and Reno were probably the only two people who had seen it; probably the only two people who would see it, since no one really went into Old Midgar anymore as the place had been thoroughly mined for loot.

Cloud had responded to her text the night before, lacking the trepidation she thought was dripping from her message.

"Sure, does the morning work?" he had texted.

They agreed on a specific time and now Tifa sat on one of her barstools with a nearly empty glass of Corel wine in front of her. She glanced at the clock that hung on the wall: 10:57 a.m.

It was too early to drink, but she hadn't slept all night, going over and over again in her head what she would say to Cloud.

When the early morning rays of light began to peek through her windows, she completely gave up on sleep and made some coffee. After one, two, three cups, however, she was no more relaxed; instead, she was more jittery and nervous than ever. So, she got dressed and went downstairs to pour herself a glass of wine to calm the emotions swirling inside of her. It helped, a little, but as the clock tick, tick, ticked closer to 11:00 a.m., her heart began racing faster and faster, almost painfully so.

She was nearly in full-blown panic mode when she heard a knock on the door. He was two minutes early. She wasn't ready for this. Everything she planned to say, everything she knew she needed to say, it all vanished from her mind. Her heart pounded in her chest and heated butterflies created a whirlwind in her stomach. Over and over again, all night, she wished that this was all a horrible dream that she could wake up from – that the past year never happened, and she wouldn't have to make this decision. That she and Cloud were still sitting at a table in The Golden Chocobo, joking about Professor Hojo.

She closed her eyes and shook her head as she stood up, walking to the sink to pour out the remaining wine and hide the glass. She took a deep breath and walked toward the door. She knew she couldn't go back and change things. Everything happened for a reason, and nothing she could have done last year would have changed what was about to happen at this very moment.

She opened the door and was already fighting back tears when she saw Cloud standing before her, his eyes warm and inviting. He must have thought she was inviting him over to choose him.

Her heart ached for him, for the crushing pain he was about to feel – all caused by her and her traitorous actions.

"Cloud…" she said, her voice trembling as she tried and failed to mask her despair.

He seemed to disregard what she thought was obvious, responding with a smile and a gentle hand on her cheek.

"Hi, Tifa…" he said in a tone only he could pull off, somewhere between cool disinterest and oblivious charm.

She took a step back and let him enter. She didn't see him look around the bar for signs of what she was about to say, thinking the walls would tell him something she had not yet. She quickly walked past him and sat on one of the barstools, placing her hands in front of her atop the counter and fidgeting with her fingers, all the while avoiding his gaze.

It was then Cloud started to wonder if he had just walked into the end of his life. Shouldn't she be happy if she were choosing him? Or maybe she was just emotional because of the choice itself and everything she had gone through. Maybe this was all a trick and she would brighten up any minute.

She didn't.

He took a seat on the barstool next to her, leaning on one elbow and situating himself so that he was slightly turned toward her, watching as she picked at her nails. He knew this Tifa. She could be thinking a million things right now, some of which worked in his favor and others… not so much.

When she finally, after what felt like an eternity, looked over at him, her eyes were downcast and listless. The usual sparkle that accompanied her garnet irises was absent, dulled by whatever she was about to say.

"Cloud, I…" she began, and his heart dropped.

"Tifa, wait, I have something I want to say," he interrupted.

Tifa welcomed the distraction, even though she knew it was just delaying the inevitable. Right now, she wanted anything to delay this conversation. Another meteor, Sephiroth to walk through the door, a Jenova attack, anything. She swallowed hard and nodded ever so slightly to allow him to continue.

"Tifa, I've been thinking," Cloud began, now fidgeting his own fingers atop the bar, struggling to look at her. "I know we've talked about this before, but I want you to know that I never loved Aeris."

She snapped her head to look at him, her brow slightly furrowed in confusion.

"The part of my psyche that took on Zack's personality, that part may have thought it loved her, but Tifa," he placed his fist beneath her chin to tilt her head up to look at him, "the real me, the real Cloud, the boy you grew up with in Nibelheim? He only has eyes for you. Always has, always will."

Tifa started to desperately shift her gaze between Cloud's eyes, searching for some evidence that he hadn't just said that.

"Cloud, I know about the Zack part…" she said, turning from his hand and looking at her hands again. This time he placed a hand on top of hers.

"No, you don't," he insisted. "At least not fully."

She studied his hand, feeling his callouses atop her delicate fingers, examining the rough and raw knuckles that had seen so many battles and so much trauma. Somehow, those hands always provided her more comfort than anything else.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking back at him.

"When you found me at that train station, I wasn't me, not really, but even in that stupid, lost soul's brain, you were all I ever needed. Everything I did was for you – joining AVALANCHE, chasing Sephiroth, it was all for you," he said, looking deep into her eyes – into her very soul. He took a deep breath as she stared back at him. "Because, Tifa…"

At this point, Cloud raised himself from his barstool and reached into his back pocket. Tifa watched as he retrieved a jewelry box, smaller than the one Reno had in his suit jacket pocket. Tifa's eyes widened, mostly confused. She needed to stop him, but her voice was suddenly lost, echoing only in her head.

Cloud lowered himself onto one knee and opened the box to reveal a diamond engagement ring. It was similar to the one Cid gave Shera, with three stones, except this one had a silver band and the two smaller, outer gems were emeralds instead of diamonds. The ring sparkled even under the dim lights of the bar, reflecting speckles of white light off of her eyes as she stood staring at the item before her and the man on one knee. Her mouth had fallen open and her heart had sunk deep into her chest.

"Tifa," Cloud began, looking up at her with a soft smile as he held the ring box toward her, "I have made so many mistakes in my life, but the biggest one of all was hurting you. I can't imagine my life without you again and I never want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, giving you everything you deserve and everything you ever wanted. You are, and always have been, my whole world, and I want to prove that every day."

As she stood listening to him, she began to cry. Tears streamed down her cheeks as the words she'd longed to hear for just about a decade flowed out of his mouth without any pain or hesitation. Her hero, the man who was always there when she needed him most, was baring his soul before her.

As so often happened when they were together, the rest of the world faded away. The bar disappeared, along with the floors, tables, stools, and liquor. There was no ceiling, no door, no windows. Just she and Cloud.

"Tifa Lockhart, will you marry me?" Cloud asked to a woman who looked like she was about to collapse into sobs.

Tifa's knees weakened and she could swear the thigh high pantyhose she was wearing were rubbing against each other as she wobbled. She brought one hand up to her mouth as a sob escaped her lips and her shoulders began to shake.

What had she always needed from Cloud? For him to squelch the fears she had about him loving Aeris or leaving her. An engagement ring was a commitment, a real commitment.

"Cloud…" she trailed off.

Later that day…

Reno still had the grin on his face as Tifa came into view, her gaze focused on the sidewalk, not looking up to search for him in the crowd. He couldn't fully see her face, as he was still only catching glimpses of her among the throngs of Edge residents hurrying to their next destinations. At one point, people passed her and her eyes were closed, completely cutting him off from discerning any information from her expression.

Now, Reno had already once in his relationship with Tifa experienced a moment where time slowed down. It was the night she was shot, when a few seconds of action played out in minutes to his distressed mind. He still swore he remembered clearly seeing that large man take several minutes to fall to the ground, and that he witnessed the man's tooth floating through the air like astronauts in outer space.

Time again slowed down, as people walked by in a soft blur of beiges and grays, offset only by similarly colored buildings and roads. He would see Tifa looking down, and then people would pass, and then he would see Tifa amongst them before more would pass, and then she was looking down in the middle of a blink that seemed more like she was walking with her eyes closed.

His heart raced as he prepared to remember this moment forever. The moment that she finally became his.

And then he saw her face.

Her eyes seemed to droop at the sides, like she had lost all emotion. Her spirit seemed to have disappeared, leaving behind a husk of a woman who had lost everything. Reno figured, in that long, slow second, that it was residual depression from her talk with Cloud. He had to feel bad for the guy, knowing such an amazing creature his whole life only to lose her in the end. Reno couldn't even imagine how he would have felt if Tifa hadn't chosen him. But she had, and she was coming toward him.

His heart fluttered as she seemed to get closer without even taking a step, as if the crowds around her were simply disappearing into the background. This was his angel, the woman who taught him life was worth living beyond what he had always thought possible. The woman who showed him a better way, who put him in his place when he deserved it, who gave him everything he never knew he needed but now couldn't live without.

As her eyes drooped, watery and lifeless, he saw that she was frowning, and her nose was red. She had been crying. Again, probably because of the tough conversation she had with Strife.

But after another eternity, she finally, slowly, lifted her head to look in his direction.

Her expression did not change. She was, for lack of a better word, sad.

Had Strife done something to her? Done something to himself as a backlash to Tifa pushing him away? Reno's face began the early stages of contorting into confusion as life slowed to an even more decelerated crawl.

Tifa's eyes locked with his own and her expression changed. It was so slight the random passersby probably wouldn't even have noticed, but it was enough to show him that she was not sad, but remorseful. A million possibilities of why she might be carrying guilt sped through his head even as the rest of the world dragged by. It could only be due to Strife and her lifetime of memories with him. What had he done to her?

Reno felt like he was in one of those dreams where his legs stopped working and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't put one foot in front of the other to take a single step toward Tifa. He knew that as soon as she was in his arms he could soothe her, remind her that she made the right decision by choosing him, and that these feelings of remorse would go away.

But as Tifa moved inches closer through the crowd, Reno saw that she was not alone. Of course, she wasn't alone, the streets were busy and there were strangers all around her. But no, this was different. His eyes finally trailed down to her lips, to her chin, down her neck and to her shoulders. His heart began to drop as he scanned her shoulder to her toned bicep where her gloves usually ended.

It was at that moment he realized she wasn't wearing her trademark gloves. She wore the outfit that drove him crazy, with the pleated leather skirt and thigh highs, but her gloves were missing.

From her gloveless bicep, his eyes continued downward to her elbow, forearm, and then to her wrist. Her hand was in a sort of fist, with odd colors and distortions spreading apart her fingers. It finally clicked in his brain that those were the dark brown leather fingers of another glove. Reno's eyes lingered for a moment (several moments in his slowed down universe) until he followed the wrist that was so close to Tifa's, the familiar armor and bangles that covered the forearms of the person Reno had not expected to see at that moment.

Just as he had done with Tifa, Reno's eyes traveled up the other forearm, to another elbow, another bicep, and finally the metal shoulder pauldron he had spent the last few seconds praying wouldn't be there.

He felt his whole chest cave in at this point as he saw Cloud Strife walking through the center of town, holding hands with Tifa. Cloud did not seem to be in such a dour mood. Instead, he seemed like his head was up in the, well, clouds. There was an air of satisfaction about him, and though Reno's eye began to twitch, he couldn't see any hint of smugness in Cloud's expression. But there was pride.

Something then caught his eye in the afternoon-evening sun, something so close to Tifa it had to be part of her, but altogether confusing. There was a glint of sunshine that suddenly blinded Reno, and it was coming from the space between Tifa's left thigh and the unimportant people of Edge. A small starburst of white and gold light with rays that extended far beyond their middle, stabbing the space around and making its presence known.

Reno watched as the shape spun clockwise and then counter-clockwise, never making a full resolution, before coming into focus just as the shine burned his eyes enough to make them water.

An engagement ring. On her left ring finger.

Reno shot up to look at her, as her eyes had been trained on him as he put everything together. Her guilt wasn't caused by what happened with Cloud, it was because of what she was doing in this moment.

He closed his eyes and opened them to squint in her, shaking his head as if to do a double take and contorting his mouth into a shape that wanted to release the word, "What?" but couldn't find a voice to produce it.

But… yesterday… She was in his arms, she had chosen him. She was his. That all happened, right? He hadn't dreamt it? No, of course it happened. He still remembered the feeling of his arms around her as she sat on his lap under the hot Midgarian sun, surrounded by slums but never feeling more like he was in paradise. He remembered running his long, bony fingers over her back, kissing her neck and shoulders, the feeling of her sitting on him…

He had put that necklace around her neck, right? And he told her he loved her – he said it out loud – and she said it back. They were in love. What was happening?

And then she pursed her lips and began to shake her head with the response to his unspoken question: "I'm so, so sorry."

Her head was just slightly turned to her left, mid-shake, when his world stopped. Beyond the moments in time that slow down when we wish we could change something, beyond the moments we wished never happened, were the moments that seem to last a lifetime. Sometimes these moments can be happy, like a man seeing his wife for the first time on his wedding day. But for Reno, this was the moment that would drag on for eternity.

He suddenly gained the ability to move freely, at a normal speed, but it didn't matter. The rest of the world was standing still. Tifa's apologetic eyes were still focused on him even as her face was not, her hair in the early stages of reacting to her movement.

Everything was frozen. He looked around to see a man holding his PHS at a 45-degree angle, about to either answer a call or put it into his pocket. There was a woman standing near him, one hand on the handle of a stroller and supporting a toddler against her hip in the other. Across the street, a group of children stood mid-step, delicately preserved in the middle of running through the crowds as part of some game. The child in the front, a young boy, was glancing over his shoulder to make sure his friends weren't too close. Another was holding one hand as if holding a balloon, yet the string ended just above their fist; the child had not even noticed yet.

Reno's gaze lowered as he developed a horrific fear: Would he be forced to live in this second – the worst second of his life – for eternity? Was this second meant to last forever, torturing him until he couldn't take it anymore? What would he do, all alone but free to do as he pleased in a world that no longer moved?

He knew what he would do. He would pretend time hadn't stopped running. He would go and have scotch with Rude, since his partner never talked much anyway. He'd watch Tseng and Elena frozen in a conversation and try to make up the words to what they were saying. He would find Rufus Shinra and tell him exactly what he thought of his boss' boss. He'd go see all the other Turks who were spread out around the world and see how they were living: Maur in Costa del Sol, Emma in North Corel, Juget in Icicle Inn, and everyone else. He'd spend his days searching for Veld until he found him.

But the first thing he would do if the world didn't start spinning again? He'd walk up to Tifa Lockhart and just hold her again. Nothing dirty, just wrap his arms around her and soak up her essence, inhale the scent of hibiscus and vanilla that he could never forget. He'd hold her until his legs gave out, and then he'd rest.

He stopped looking around at a world that seemed to have all come under a Stop spell simultaneously and again focused on Tifa, still midway through shaking her head to let him know how sorry she was.

And then their entire relationship played through his head.

Tifa Lockhart raced toward Reno atop the Sector 7 pillar as gunfire rang out below them and fiery pieces of debris fell all around. She was beautiful, he had to admit, but he was on the job, and this woman was trying to prevent him from doing just that. When she had gotten closer to him, and he raised his electro-mag rod in the air poised to bring it down onto her pretty little… voluptuous… body, she swung her leg up, back, and around so that her heel connected with his jaw. In the second before, his eyes had quickly shifted downward, not in anticipation of anything, but involuntarily. Beneath her black leather miniskirt was a piece of white cotton covering the only other part of her that would be useful to him. This gorgeous woman he didn't know, who looked too innocent to know anything about weapons, had just rattled his brain inside his skull. In that instant, he wanted more – more of a beating, but specifically from her.

He saw Tifa inside an opaque yellow pyramid, clawing at the smooth walls and beating on them with her fists, screaming his name as her face displayed that same anger and hatred she had as she lunged for him earlier.

Tifa was standing not 30 feet away, among the forest at the edge of the clearing in Gongaga. Had she heard his conversation with Rude? Had she sensed his innermost thoughts and desires?

Reno pounded on the door to Seventh Heaven after being denied entry – again. Why wouldn't she let them in? They hadn't attacked her or her dumb friends in years. He could see her through the front window, casually serving the few customers inside, having completely tuned out of the Turks that stood out front. He was like an orphan standing on the street looking in on a happy family enjoying a nice meal.

Reno sat on a barstool in Seventh Heaven, soaking in the atmosphere with a smug expression. She had finally let them in. Now he could try to make her mad so that he might see that expression and attitude he witnessed years ago on the pillar. He watched her float through the seating area, never standing in one place for very long, always cheerful and smiling – to the other customers.

Reno leaned over Tifa's bar and beckoned for the "barmaid," prompting her to scowl at him. She glared and sucked in her cheeks, rolling her eyes. She practically hissed her question to him. Her eyes widened with rage and her nostrils flared after he told her to get over the plate falling. There was a venomous glare when she seethed at him to "get out," looking like she was about to explode.

Tifa had fallen to the ground, having been thrown down by an elfadunk that was about to charge at her to finish her off. Her eyes widened with fear as Reno stared at her before he killed the beast with his mag rod. He reached out to take her hand in his as she finally allowed him to help her up. Just the feeling of her hand in his own was enough to excite him.

Tifa had her hands on her hips, scowling at him after he told her she had a "fine ass to save." The opening salvo for their continued banter. He told her she found him distracting. Her muscles tightened when he asked her back then where Cloud had gone. She ignored him when he told her he regretted dropping the plate.

Tifa's fists were the first thing he saw from where he lay beneath a pack of attacking Kalm fangs. His shoulder touched hers as they stood back-to-back with Rude, surrounded by the beasts. He was surprised and winced just a bit when he felt her hands on his face as she cleaned the wound on his forehead, even though she still hated him. It had reminded him of being a kid again, loved and protected. He could see down her shirt as she helped him. He could see up her skirt when she allowed him to stitch her up. It was the first time he touched her in an inappropriate place, even though he knew it wouldn't lead anywhere.

Tifa's face was red the day after she had a sex dream about him and tried to hide it while she worked. He pulled her into his lap and laughed as she struggled to get away from him. He sent his first text to her that night.

Tifa was backed against the alley wall outside Seventh Heaven with her small wrists above her head encircled by Reno's long fingers. She struggled against him, a fear in her eyes he loved to see back then as he brought his face close to hers and asked about her dream, while his hips pressed against hers.

Tifa was backed against the wall in the Shinra mansion basement, Reno's hands resting on the wall beside each of her shoulders. She grimaced as he tried out several nicknames for her. There was a little glint in her eye he swore he saw when he told her he thought about her while he was stuck in the basement of the old Shinra headquarters. He kissed her then and relished the feeling of her lips against his and his tongue in her mouth. He held her leg up to his hip with a hand on her thigh – right where he had given her stitches. She looked at him with horror when she realized he was turned on by their fights.

Tifa sat on the floor in that mansion basement, her face contorted in a mix of embarrassment and pleasure as he held his mag rod to her abdomen. She screamed, trying to mask what should have been moans of ecstasy.

She pinched his side, hard, as they sat atop the well in Nibelheim underneath a galaxy of stars. And then she pushed him off the well. After he scrambled back up, she softened, resting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulders to comfort her, not knowing it was truly the beginning of his transformation. She pushed him again when he asked how long it would have taken her to come from the mag rod, though it wasn't enough to knock him off the well.

He thought of the moment he saw her in the clothes she was wearing right now. She was behind the bar, taking their drink orders. She turned around to reach for their scotch when he saw the pleated leather skirt that barely covered her ass. And just a few inches lower, the tops of thigh-high stockings.

Tifa was standing outside the door to Seventh Heaven, soaking wet, her hair matted against her head and the top of her dress completely transparent, revealing her nipples to him behind thin fabric. She grinned when she caught him almost admitting his feelings, talking about what he would do if he "really wanted to be with a girl." They fell back onto the floor of the bar when the door accidentally opened behind her as he kissed her. Reno was on top of her and they were both soaked. He ripped her dress open to finally see those beautiful, perfect breasts of hers. She yelled his name in embarrassment when he did that. He thought back to the feeling of that plump flesh in his hands and her nipples in his mouth. She tried to cover herself even though she had nothing to be embarrassed about. He remembered the anticipation of getting what he wanted. She stood in her bar; her breasts exposed over a torn dress that was also pulled up against her thighs. It was the last thing he saw that night.

He saw the blood spurt out of her bullet wound after she had been shot and he wasn't able to stop it. She looked at him as she was about to pass out from the pain. She looked up at him, pleading with her eyes, hoping he'd sneak her out of the hospital. He saw her muscles tense when the doctor told her to avoid strenuous exercise.

Reno lay with his arms wrapped around Tifa in her bed. Surprisingly, she moaned as his hands felt her breasts before moving to the waistband of her shorts and panties, slender fingers so close to reaching his prize before he ruined it by speaking and startling her.

God, he remembered the way she ate that ice cream cone, torturing him with her words as she teased him with that frozen treat.

Tifa was in a bikini, lying on a towel next to him at the beach. She rubbed sunscreen on his back and lingered just long enough to make him think there was something more going on with her. He put his arm around her as she sat on the bed in the Costa del Sol villa. He threw her back on the bed and hoped to jostle her bikini top out of place. He remembered kissing her, his own bare chest pressed against hers.

Tifa was yet again backed against a wall, with Reno holding up one of her legs to his hip as his erection pressed against her panties. His hand was up her shirt and on her breast as he kissed her; passionate, raw, almost cruelly at times. He assaulted her earlobe with his tongue before moving down her neck.

Reno clung to the wall outside Tifa's living room window as she lay on the couch looking at the picture he had sent her of his happy trail. She let him into the bar that night, and he took a chance to reach out and wrap his arms around her. Not in a sexual way, even though his head was buried in her chest. He thought of their spar in her empty bar, the exhilaration he felt when he pinned her to the ground and then to the wall. He snaked his fingers toward the edge of her panties as she wrapped a leg around his waist and he pressed his hips into hers. She moaned when he teased his thumb over her panties and his index finger slid along the edge. He looked down as she unbuckled his pants and ran her fingers over the line of hair that stretched from his belly button to his cock. He threw his head back when she wrapped her fingers around his member and began working his shaft. He saw the image of her, wearing nothing but a skirt, lying on the floor, her breasts covered in him.

He thought back to the night he finally got to experience what was underneath those panties. He felt her warmth, her tightness, her come on his fingers before he got to taste her. She moaned and mewled as he made her come with his tongue. Even then, she kept covering herself as if he were seeing her naked for the first time.

He remembered waking up next to her and kissing her back and shoulders; never wanting to leave. She had a panic attack that day, and he held her shoulders to get her to repeat, "this shall pass." He thought back to the feeling of accomplishment he had when she came out of her panic attack. She fell asleep after, and he watched her shoulders gently rise and fall as she slept. He saw her pointing a finger at him as she scolded him about something. Her voice was shaky when she asked him to stay the night with her after the panic attack. She looked at him with surprise and lust when he walked down to the bar in nothing but a towel. He remembered how she doubled over with laughter when he wore a towel on his head and how she nearly fell over when he danced over to her. She was so beautiful when she laughed. He chased her around the room, across the bed, before she fell back onto it to catch her breath.

She had a disarming smile when he mispronounced the ingredients of her soaps. She looked at him with mock annoyance when he kept putting his foot in his mouth as he told her to make herself prettier and stumbled over being with other women in the past. She swatted at him when he asked if she was going to buy condoms before they headed to the item store. She looked hurt when he told her he wouldn't stay a third night, even though she accepted it.

He tucked her in when she went back to sleep after he arrived the next day. He remembered the photos of her and her AVALANCHE friends and how pretty she looked in all of them. She caught him snooping and asked her what his favorite place was that he had visited. Her eyes lit up when she talked about wanting to go to the Gold Saucer as a kid. She stood inside the lobby of the empty theater; her shoulders slumped as she realized it had been abandoned due to the monster attacks. He thought about the shock and horror on her face when he kicked the mu that attacked her.

He remembered backing her up and lifting her onto the counter behind the bar, his hips between her legs before he asked her to brave the fiends to get to his place. He would never forget using his mag rod on her until she succumbed to the pleasure. He was sitting on his couch and nearly spit out his drink when she appeared behind him wearing just his shirt and a pair of panties. She had seemed so nervous in his apartment, expecting to be kicked out at any moment. She fiddled with her fingers as she hung her head while wearing his oversized dress shirt. He saw the worried look on her face as she attempted to stop insulting him for the way she thought he lived.

They were sitting on a bench underground in The Forgotten Capital. He placed his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. He tried to hide his action by pawing at her, which led to them discovering the secret passage. He would never forget the way she looked underneath the moonlight at Aeris' lake, the ethereal glow that made her skin look like pearl and the amber halo in her hair. He held her when she told him about the pain in her head and she looked up into his eyes with so much desire and sadness. He held her hand as they walked through the trees. He pressed her against the trunk of one of the dead trees and kissed her before he laid her on the ground and had his way with her, finally. He'd never forget the face she made in the throes of passion and ecstasy, writhing beneath him as he got everything he wanted at the time. An image of this gorgeous woman, completely naked before him, having just come three times after screaming his name over and over, would be forever etched in his brain. Afterwards, she intertwined her fingers with his and told her that he could use her first name now.

He rocked her gently as she screamed in pain from the headaches, which returned as soon as she left him in the forest. She laughed at him when he was pretending to read a book in the library later that day. He saw her scoff at him when he held a book out of her reach, though she wasn't really mad. She cocked her head to the side when he told her he didn't usually date before he asked out after he flew her back to Edge because she was in too much pain to stay.

He remembered watching Tifa fight her way through the Northern Crater. Reno wasn't turned on – that much – as he had to worry about his own skin, but watching Tifa in her element, not fighting him, was exhilarating in its own way. She made that same angry face she had when he first enclosed her in a pyramid back in Sector 7, even though this time he did it to protect her from a dragon. He remembered their brief conversation on the rock wall as she carefully navigated it.

Reno was thrown back to the ground as Tifa emerged like an ungraceful mermaid from the Lifestream and landed on top of him. He still winced at the thought of holding her back as she tried to reach for Cloud when he nearly got sucked into Jenova.

He remembered the way she smiled at him on the Highwind after they had escaped the Northern Crater, a sweet, gentle smile he had always loved. One that always made him feel like the only guy in the room. He looked into her eyes as her fingers brushed his own when she served him a scotch later that day. His expression dropped as he thought back to their fight in the back alley, when he thought he'd lost her.

Yet days later, she looked at him in his new, black Turk suit with some kind of lust that she tried to hide. She grinned when she threatened to cut her hair and saw how uncomfortable it made him because he couldn't just push her up against a building and ravish her, even though the conversation about her hair really turned him on. He saw the excitement in her eyes when she realized he was going to cook for her. He watched her face become red when he made a sexual comment in the grocery store. His head snapped to the side when she punched him in the face. He placed his hand atop hers when her fingers were on his chest after he burned himself and she tended to his wound. He saw her eyes roll back into her head with pure joy when the steak he cooked actually tasted good. He stood over her, next to her chair, flirting with her about putting her on his Grudge List. He remembered watching a movie as she curled up next to him and eventually fell asleep in his lap. He didn't remember what movie they watched. He held her in his arms and kissed her before she left his apartment the next morning, and he watched her walk away to the elevator.

Reno hung over the scaffolding at the theater and kissed her, and caught her trying not to look at his exposed abs.

He thought of how sad she looked when she told him she needed space. A week later, he saw her with raised fists once again as she turned around from the Sector 7 plaque and thought he was an enemy. She smiled at him while somehow still looking confused when he told her he had built the monument. He remembered how she beamed when she saw the necklace and the feel of the smooth skin of her neck when he put it on her. Reno sat with his arms wrapped tightly around Tifa, who was sitting on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist. He thought about how it felt to know that he was hers, forever and always. He remembered kissing her, holding her.

"I love you, too," he couldn't hear the words but saw her pretty face as she said them, a distant memory playing in his head.

He thought about her laugh, her smile, versions of which seemed to exist only for him. He thought again about her playfully pushing him atop the Nibelheim well and swatting his shoulder when he made a ridiculous comment. He again remembered chasing her around her bedroom with a towel on his head as she laughed so hard she couldn't stand up. He remembered his arms wrapped around her under the moonlight in the Forgotten Capital. He again saw her giving him a knowing glance and holding her index finger up as if to scold him. He thought back to just a day earlier, when he held her in the abandoned slums. These images in particular seemed to cycle through his mind several times before all that was left was the image of her in his lap, looking up at him with the sweetest look on her face he had ever seen, before she gently, peacefully, said she loved him, words that echoed through his mind, the only thing he had heard in what felt like hours.

"I love you, too."

"I love you, too."

"I love you, too."

Reno opened his eyes. The world had started moving again. He wouldn't have to live in this moment forever, but that also meant he would have to go through the rejection and the pain of losing her.

Tifa shook her head back and forth a couple times once time began again. Reno still had that confused look on his face, scrunched as though he were about to find out this was all a horrible joke. His mouth dropped open further and his breathing began to slow, not because he was calm, but because he now kept forgetting to breathe.

He ran a hand down his face and paused to rub his eyes with his thumb and index finger, briefly. He still couldn't believe this. Was this really happening? Had she really done this?

He didn't hear her explanation, and he didn't realize she had even disappeared into the crowd after mouthing the words, "I'm sorry."

He stood a few more minutes to try to get his bearings. This wasn't happening. This hadn't happened. It was a nightmare. It wasn't real.

Back to earlier that day…

Cloud was inside Seventh Heaven, down on one knee in front of Tifa. He had just poured his heart out to her and asked her to marry him. He now found it difficult to balance as he presented her with the engagement ring he had purchased a week earlier. Originally, it was just three diamonds, but he knew how much Tifa loved her birthstone and wanted to incorporate emeralds into the ring. He came to the sudden realization that his knee was not that flat, and he began to wobble on it as life seemed to slow down. He was waiting for her response, and it was the longest few seconds of his life. He kept his eyes focused on hers as she seemed to contemplate his offer. The tears seemed to have stopped flowing and she was just staring at him – not the ring.

Finally, he saw her choke back the breath she was holding and bring her hand to her mouth. Her eyes fluttered and the sparkle returned. He could tell she was smiling behind her hand. She started nodding her head before the words came.

"Cloud…" she said before removing her hand from her mouth. "Yes. Yes. Oh my God. Yes."

She saw nothing but Cloud in that moment. She thought of no one but Cloud in that moment. In that instant, she didn't think about whether she was making the right choice or what the fallout would be. She just knew.

This was where she was supposed to be. This is who she was supposed to be with. She was wrong when she thought she'd have the same fears if she picked Cloud, because she didn't.

"Really?" he asked. She nodded even more furiously.

"Yes, of course!" she replied.

In this moment, Cloud was placing a diamond ring on her finger. In this moment, Cloud was standing up to wrap his arms around her and lean back to lift her off the ground. In this moment, there was nothing else in the world. No friends. No enemies. No bad memories. No fears. No grief.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face into his neck, crying happy tears this time. This is what she had wanted for almost a decade, from just after he left Nibelheim to join SOLDIER, to when she found him dying at that train station, during their entire journey to fight Sephiroth, when they built their life together in Edge, and even after he left. She couldn't pass on the thing she'd wanted more in her life than anything else.

Cloud was here, with her, telling her he would never leave her again and backing it up with the biggest commitment he could make.

She raised her hand up to inspect the ring. It sparkled at every angle as the light bounced off of it.

"There's an inscription," he said.

She looked up at him with questioning eyes, not wanting to ever take the ring off but wanting to know what was written within, what words Cloud had chosen to inscribe this item. She reluctantly pulled the ring off her finger and held it up to the light to examine the band. Cloud watched as her eyes crossed and she absentmindedly stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she twisted the ring to search for his inscription.

"I promise," it said, the words he'd said to her before he left Nibelheim.

Tifa put it back on her finger and again threw her arms around his neck. Cloud wrapped his arms around her again and rested his hands on the small of her back, pulling her close.

It was quite a while before reality hit Tifa. She had told Reno the day before that she loved him, that she chose him. He had assuaged the fears she had about entering a relationship with him. Cloud had now done the same, and she couldn't ignore the fact that when both men laid their cards on the table, the man she had loved since her childhood ended up winning. There was just so much history with Cloud. He was warm and familiar, yet flirtatious and exciting. They had seen the world together and then some, experiencing all of it together. He knew everything about her and she knew everything about him, yet there was still somehow mystery.

She couldn't imagine traveling the world with anyone else. He was her whole world. Always had been. They had been apart a few times throughout their lives, but they always found their way back to each other.

And now? Now they would never be apart again.

She knew she now had to have a painful conversation with Reno, and she had no clue what to say, just as she had struggled to find the words to say to Cloud before he proposed. Would she have been able to go through with it even if he hadn't proposed? Tifa thought that in the moment she probably would have chosen Cloud either way. They belonged together.

After they had basked in committed bliss – innocent, except for some very grateful kissing – Tifa finally brought up the subject.

"I have to tell Reno…" she said, her demeanor falling.

This was going to be the hardest thing she would ever have to do – to crush someone after giving them everything they wanted. She didn't think she could be so cruel. But Cloud reminded her of everything she had a year ago, everything she wanted her whole life, and she couldn't walk away from that.

"I'll go with you," Cloud said in a comforting way.

He didn't want to throw this in Reno's face. The truth was, he now felt bad for the Turk. Cloud knew how it he would have felt if Tifa had rejected him. It was a dark, painful existence, and he didn't wish that on anyone but Sephiroth. At that moment, Cloud thought he could sympathize with Reno, but he also knew that his presence would not seem commiserating at all.

"I'm supposed to meet him in front of the Meteor statue before I open the bar," Tifa said, her voice soft. "I don't want to go alone but I think seeing you would make everything worse."

"How about I walk you there but stay back in the crowd, just for support, then?" Cloud asked.

Tifa thought about it a moment as her expression depressed. She nodded. Knowing Cloud was nearby would give her the strength to get through it. She didn't worry that seeing Reno would make her change her mind again. Cloud offered her everything she could ever want. There were no more questions with Cloud, no fear in the pit of her stomach that someday he would leave if something else threatened the world or just because. Those fears were gone. He learned his lesson. They'd face everything together now.

Cloud placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her forehead.

Later…

Tifa held Cloud's hand tight as they walked toward the center of town. The city was unusually busy for this time of day, but it just served to compound the situation. They said little now, the air heavy and disconsolate. They struggled to make their way through the crowd toward the monument, and Tifa just happened to glance at the ground as she found space to enter the roundabout, Cloud just slightly behind her. She hadn't smiled as they walked, both knowing this would be difficult. But it had to be done.

And then she saw his face.

Reno was on the other side of the roundabout, standing in front of the monument with that lopsided, toothy grin. His eyes, heavy lidded, yet still smiling. He held a bouquet of roses in his left hand and his expression lifted even higher when he first saw her, before the stark realization of what her face was saying had hit him.

Cloud had helped her come up with the words to say, telling her that if he were in Reno's positions, he knew what he would want to hear and what he would need to hear.

"Even though you think it might make things hurt less, you can't leave a door open at all," Cloud had said. "Because honestly, part of the reason I would never have been able to love anyone else is because there was always a door open with you – I thought."

Tifa had taken his words to heart and worked out what she would say to Reno; how sorry she was, how she never meant for this to happen, and other things that probably wouldn't help him heal.

But when she saw his face at the monument she froze. All those words she had planned to say had just left her brain as if they had never been there at all. Standing just a few feet from her was a living reminder of everything she had done wrong in her life: Failing to stop the plate from falling, developing feelings for another man, acting on those feelings, thinking she would choose this man, and then changing her mind when Cloud proposed.

In that moment, she hated herself.

And when she saw his expression drop, she lost the ability to speak. She shook her head and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," hoping with all her might that her face could say all the things her lips could not: You mattered. I meant it when I said I loved you. I'll never forget our time together. I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you find happiness.

She let go of Cloud's hand and made her way through the traffic to slowly approach him, half hugging herself with one arm tightly gripping her opposite elbow.

"I'm so sorry…" she told Reno, her eyes locked on the ground.

"What happened?" Reno asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"I… just…"

"I know," he said, crossing his arms – still holding the roses – and looking away from her with a certain indignation on his face. "Strife."

"I never meant for any of this to happen," she offered.

She didn't want him to hate her, but she knew that was inevitable. He'd never loved anyone before, and she took that love and stomped on it like it meant nothing – even though it did.

Reno wanted to rage, to beg and plead and scream at her for hurting him. He wanted to tell her that what she had done was really shitty, really low, for some high-and-mighty AVALANCHE scum. He wanted to burn it all down.

But he didn't. A few months ago? Yeah, that's probably what he would have done. But now? He wanted to feel nothing. He wanted to take it all back. Having feelings had never served him well, so why feel anything, even anger?

He didn't move as she slipped her arms around his waist to hug him. He didn't put his arms around her, even though she smelled so good and he had just been thinking about holding her one last time.

She pulled back and wiped away tears.

"I'm so, so sorry," she said quietly.

Reno's mind went blank, the way he had trained himself before a particularly difficult mission, like dropping the plate. He spaced out, and only white noise seemed to occupy his thoughts. He said nothing to her in response and made no movements.

When he finally came out of his numbness, he looked around and saw that she was nowhere to be found, a ghost vanished into the evening, he dropped his arms to his side. The roses he held in one hand fell to the ground by his feet, several petals detaching and finding their way to the sidewalk, dead and broken, the obvious metaphor.

4:31 p.m.

"I love you, too."

A/N: I'm soooo sorry for this chapter. This is the way it had to be, the way it always would be.

When I started this story, I knew how it began, that Tifa and Reno would start something, how Cloud would come back, and how it ended. Everything else filled itself in. I've read all your reviews (the nice ones that liked Reno) and my heart ached for you all. Stay tuned…