A/N: Rated M for language and sexual conduct. If you don't like sex scenes, please don't read them.
Oh my goodness. I thought I was going to get SO MUCH hate for that last chapter, but the reviews were rather positive. Wow.
I also think I should finally respond to the theory some readers had about the chapter where Tifa was sick. I guess I should have anticipated people thinking it was a sign of pregnancy because the only times characters in romance fics are sick is either pregnancy-related or the flu so another character can take care of them. But, um… I did NOT write morning sickness symptoms. Tifa and Reno had sex like three days before she felt ill. Morning sickness doesn't typically start for weeks after conception. Also, her symptoms were described as her feeling like she was "hungover." Never once was nausea or vomiting mentioned.
She was ill from lack of sleep and the insane fight she was in, as well as all the emotional turmoil in her life.
I'd also like to point out that the only thing I "admitted" to in that one author's note was that two months wasn't long enough to build a relationship while Cloud was gone. I did not admit to any of the numerous things reviewers have claimed I admitted to.
Chapter 48:
It didn't happen right away. She needed a little time to recover and he was still determined to stick to his original plan of not rushing things, proposal notwithstanding.
They had kissed passionately after she accepted his proposal and stole glances from each other throughout the day until she brought up the conversation she needed to have. Things became sullen for a while then and after she met with Reno in the center of the city. She eased out of the guilt as the night at the bar wore on, with help from Cloud's flirtations. He was just as he had been before the headaches started, when he would brush against her as he passed, even if there was no need, and find ways to touch her.
He helped her keep the place clean and brought in more alcohol from the storage closet, taking care to kiss her on the cheek or place an open palm on her lower back whenever he could. By closing time she was feeling more like a woman happily engaged than a woman guilt-ridden over breaking a heart.
When the bar had closed and Tifa was cleaning dishes in the sink, a jaunty little smirk on her face, she felt herself pressed against the counter from behind. Lips hovered near her ear and hot breath soothed her neck.
"Excited about becoming Mrs. Strife?" a voice whispered in her ear as arms slipped around her waist.
She leaned her head back to rest it on his shoulder as she absentmindedly washed a dish. She remembered this feeling. Once, so long ago, it was all she craved. Now, she was craving it again. Tifa set the dish down in the sink and turned around in Cloud's arms. He clasped his hands behind her back and lowered himself so that his lips were just inches from hers.
"It's what I've always wanted," she replied, her voice low and breathy.
His lips pressed into hers as her arms reached up to wrap around his shoulders. The space between them closed as he deepened the kiss and tightened his arms around her. She let his tongue enter her mouth before gently retreating to rest her forehead against his.
"I want… to take it slow," she said, almost as a question.
Cloud nodded. "I understand," he said, though he wasn't sure if it was to give her time to get over Reno or because they still hadn't been physical since he recovered. He chose to believe the latter and started to psyche himself up for the torturous anticipation.
A certain part of him winced when she said those words, even as he had already planned not to push too far tonight. Tonight, he was just happy to be with her as she wore the ring he had given her.
He helped her finish breaking down the bar but turned toward the front door when she ascended the first step leading into the home upstairs.
"Cloud?" she asked, adorably confused. He turned back toward her. Was she sending mixed signals? "You can stay with me tonight, if you want."
"Of course, what was I thinking?" he asked, shaking his head before bounding toward her in a jovial manner. Tifa giggled.
"I mean, I still want to take things slow, but I think it would be weird if you spent the night you proposed back in your hotel," Tifa said as she climbed the stairs with Cloud close behind.
"Guess I took the 'let's take it slow part' a little too seriously."
Tifa turned to make a face at him and pushed his forehead back gently with two fingers.
"You're silly," she commented as she walked into the kitchen.
"And you're… perfect," he said wryly.
She looked at him over her shoulder with her lower eyelids raised incredulously.
"We're still taking it slow," she said, more teasingly this time.
"I know, I'm just telling the truth," Cloud said with his hands raised in the air to show her he understood.
"Want a drink?" Tifa asked, leaning over the kitchen island toward Cloud, her elbows close to her sides and causing her clasped hands to raise her chest.
"Sure, what do you have up here?"
"Your favorite," she said with a smirk as she turned to find her personal liquor bottles.
She poured several ingredients into a shaker and began to mix them with flair, as she usually did. The movement of her body was not helping Cloud's desire. He wondered if she was torturing him on purpose. He enjoyed it.
Tifa emptied the contents into a tumbler and slid it over to Cloud. It was a Cosmo Canyon, just like the second drink she ever made him – and the first one that he liked. He held it up to inspect it before placing it back on the counter and looking directly at Tifa.
"Beautiful, as always," he said with a bit of a mischievous grin.
Tifa blushed and poured herself a glass before sitting on one of the kitchen stools beside him.
"So, way back when, in the slums," she began, a little nervous but more curious, "the first time I made you one of these? And you said 'beautiful'? Were you really directing it at me or the drink? Be honest."
Cloud took a sip of the drink before responding. "Honestly? Both."
Tifa chuckled. "Really?" she asked, turning her head to look at him.
"Yeah, your Cosmo Canyons are clean, not like some of the cocktails I've had."
"Gross," Tifa replied.
"Now I'll never have to drink anything made by someone else."
"At least until the wedding, unless you expect me to bartend."
"It would save us some money…"
Tifa pinched him in the ribs while clenching her jaw and scrunching her face.
"Ow!" Cloud said, feigning injury. "Is that your new limit break?"
Tifa shook her head and rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
Tifa slept in Cloud's arms that night, his hand resting comfortably on her abdomen, enjoying the chance to be back in her life, even if it meant that someone else was suffering at that very moment.
Weeks later…
Tonight was the night, Tifa decided. Cloud had been so patient with her and had continued to take things slow, just as he had originally suggested. Even though they were engaged, he was still taking her out on dates like they were in the beginning of a relationship. They went to movies, Cid flew them to Costa del Sol for a weekend, they traveled to the chocobo farm to ride two of their own, they even played miniature golf (and were thrown out for hitting the balls too hard due to their strength). Cloud taught her how to drive Skoll and the two would leave Edge for the grassy hills beyond Kalm for picnics or to just get out of the city.
Of course, it was difficult to keep their hands off each other. There had been numerous times where their play nearly went too far. They had been with each other in every way except intercourse, and it was a struggle for both of them. When Cloud's tongue was swirling around her clit, Tifa wanted to grab him by the hair and lift him up so that he could enter her. On another occasion, Cloud's exposed erection came dangerously close to slipping past the side of her panties.
But she had decided long ago that if she were to end up with Cloud again, their first night had to be special. She wanted the buildup they never had as a couple and she knew what she planned to do on the night that it would all finally come together.
Cloud had been out getting some supplies for the bar while Tifa stayed back to clean during their day off. When she knew he'd probably be on his way home, she went upstairs to prepare.
Cloud entered the bar and immediately dropped what he had been carrying when he saw Tifa leaning against the bar wearing that blue dress. Cloud gripped his heart and gave her a look of utter satisfaction. She reached her arms out to the sides.
"Still like it?" she asked.
He offered her an "mmhmm" before striding toward her and picking her up to toss her over his shoulder. She offered a weak objection by calling his name as he carried her up the stairs, certain her short dress was not covering her anymore. Cloud flipped on a light switch and closed the bedroom door behind him for reasons of which he wasn't sure since there was no one else in the building. He set Tifa upright and stepped back to look at her away from the potential of a confused customer knocking on the door to see if the bar was open. His face flushed as he didn't even bother to hide his excitement.
"You have no idea how hard it was to resist the last time you wore this," he said, rubbing his jaw as he gawked.
Tifa's own cheeks turned red and she gave him an innocent look.
"Well, you don't have to resist this time," she said, her hands clasped behind her back.
Cloud's eyes shifted upwards to meet hers. "You sure?"
Tifa nodded and her smile widened as her eyes nearly closed.
Cloud was on her like a flash, ravishing her lips, then her earlobes, and then her neck until she fell back onto the bed with him on top of her. Their tongues clashed and Tifa managed to grip Cloud's gently between her teeth and lightly suck on it, causing him to howl in delight. His hands were greedy yet gentle, his hands being freed of their gloves as he stood looking at her once he set her down in her bedroom. He rubbed her arms and shoulders before he propped himself up on one arm as his other hand slowly made its way to her breast. It may as well be their first time under the Highwind, because even though they had explored each other in the past few weeks, he was nervous.
He felt like he did when they were under the Highwind, like he had something to prove. He knew she had always been more than satisfied with their previous sex life, and their encounters over the past few weeks, but right here, right now, he felt inadequate. He was still comparing himself to Reno, who had slept with so many women he had to know his way around a woman's body better than Cloud could ever imagine – even if Cloud knew Tifa's body better than anyone else.
Cloud also found himself torn between wanting to rip Tifa's clothes off and see her fully naked for the first time in 10 months or playing out a years-old fantasy he had to conceal during their stint in Wall Market.
He rubbed her breast with his hand, teasing her nipple with his thumb through the thin fabric of the dress. She nipped at his neck before he began to move down her body, kissing his way down to her breasts and pulling back the fabric to reach her taut nipples. He sucked on one while his thumb rubbed the other. Tifa arched her back toward him as he continued to grapple with the decision to release the halter dress or leave it on.
When he heard her moan his decision was made; he had to see her. He kissed his way back up to her neck and reached behind to untie her dress. He pulled the halter pieces down to release her breasts before burying his face between them, kissing her scar as she ran her fingers through his hair.
Cloud knew that if he didn't get her going first, he might not last long enough to satisfy her. He couldn't remember the last time he had sex with Tifa. No, that wasn't true. He knew exactly how long it had been: 10 months, 3 days, and 2 hours. Yes, she had gotten him to climax multiple times over the past few weeks, but not from this. He feared that once he was inside her he'd want to explode – the same fear he had under the Highwind.
He kissed his way further down her body along the line of her abdomen, stopping at her belly button and letting his tongue tickle her as his eyes glanced up toward her own, before making his way down to where her dress had folded. Tifa continued to moan in pleasure at his slow movements and lifted her hips off the bed when he began to pull on her dress. Cloud slipped it down her legs and off the bed, keeping his attention on the nearly naked woman in front of him wearing nothing but a blue thong, which he felt was too much clothing.
He sat back with his knees on either side of her to remove his own shirt before leaning back down to kiss her, enjoying the feel of her breasts against his chest. She bit his bottom lip lightly and he purred into her mouth. She clutched his hair in her hands and rolled so that she was on top and straddling him. He couldn't refuse the view.
He ran his hands over her breasts as she fumbled with his belt buckle and pants. He lurched forward to wrap his arms around her and kiss her as she rolled her hips over his, feeling his erection pressed against the thin fabric of her panties.
In one quick motion Cloud flipped over so that he was back on top of her, dropping Tifa back onto the bed so that she bounced, a little surprised at Cloud's sudden movement. She hoped this "take-what's-his" attitude would continue.
Cloud stood off the bed to remove his own pants and boxers, never taking his eyes off Tifa, who laid on the bed with her arms bent above her head and her knees raised. She looked exactly as she did in his fantasies of her he had needed to keep him going while he was away, spread out on the bed looking up at him with that face, needing him, wanting him.
She studied his naked form, the lean muscles she had missed so much while he was away, the battle scars that held an untold number of stories from their past adventures, the look on his face that said he wanted only her. She sighed, her breasts heaving off the bed as their eyes locked for a moment, each one daring the other to make the next move.
Cloud faltered first, even as Tifa raised herself up to rest on her elbows. He moved back on top of her and kissed her passionately, forcefully. He then kissed and nipped his way down to her waist, letting his hand gently slide up her thigh to reach the side of her thong and begin to pull it down. Tifa writhed from anticipation alone, aching for Cloud to enter her. She wanted to reach up and grab his head to shove his face into her, but she waited.
Cloud let his thumb trail along Tifa's bottom lip, requesting entry. She kissed the pad and sucked lightly on his digit as his nose tickled her clit. As she was concentrating on his thumb, she finally felt his tongue against her entrance, lapping at her with the skills of a man who truly knew her, and not just women in general. Cloud remembered what Tifa liked, but he didn't want to just fall into the familiar with her. He worked her as she arched her back and grabbed at the sheets, her hands starting to go numb. Once he saw her shaking out her hands to get feeling back, he knew he had her.
He removed her thong the rest of the way and sat up to make eye contact. Tifa watched as Cloud nudged her thigh with his knee to tell her to spread her legs wider. Tifa complied, and Cloud settled in between her legs, steadying his cock as he prepared to enter her.
He hesitated.
"You're sure you're ready?" he asked, his voice low and breathy. Tifa nodded.
"I want this," she responded.
Cloud rubbed the tip of his cock against Tifa's entrance, watching her reaction as she squirmed to the touch, before slowly sliding inside her until he was at the hilt. His eyes rolled back into his head for a moment at the feeling. Tifa smiled and closed her eyes as she felt every inch of Cloud fill her up. He had always seemed to fit her perfectly, like some kind of sexual puzzle piece. Just having him inside her brought a jolt of heat to her belly, and she wrapped her arms around his neck when he leaned down over her.
He began slow, getting her used to his cock again, watching over her as she writhed beneath him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he rolled his hips. She let out soft moans as he picked up the pace. He bent her legs back so that her knees were beside her ears so he could get as deep as possible. He watched her eyes roll back as she moaned louder, approaching her first orgasm of the encounter.
"Oh, Cloud," she breathed as he continued to grind his hips into hers, her walls tightening around him.
Cloud leaned down so his mouth was next to her ear, whispering, "get on your knees."
The boldness of his request sent her over the edge. She cried out his name and clung her powerful legs to him. Tifa dutifully complied, not used to Cloud being so dominant in the bedroom. He had always been powerful but polite, rough but not to the point of degrading her. She had to admit his forcefulness was turning her on.
Cloud licked his fingers and brushed them along her entrance before sliding back into her, his hips stopped by her ass. He picked up the pace and smacked her ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin the only sound in the room other than their moans.
Cloud thrust into her as deep as he could, hard enough so that Tifa had to hold onto the headboard to keep from being slammed into it.
Tifa knew she was about to burst again, but she wanted to make sure tonight was extra special for Cloud, so she pulled herself off him and turned to push him on his back before straddling him and sliding down on his cock. Cloud looked at her, stunned by her own aggressiveness, but his head quickly snapped down onto the bed as the pleasure from her movements washed over him. He brought his hands up to rest on her hips, moving her up and down on his cock as he bucked his hips against her to intensify the position.
Tifa lowered herself all the way down his cock and began rolling her hips forward. She leaned back, placing a hand on the bed between Cloud's legs to steady herself as she grinded against him. Cloud had to hold back when he felt Tifa tighten around him painfully as hot liquid ran down his hip bones and onto the bed. He opened his eyes to watch Tifa's breasts bounce as she continued to ride him, knowing he couldn't hold on any longer. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, crisscrossing his legs underneath her and quickened his own pace.
Tonight was not supposed to be about himself, he thought as he finally released into her. She had nothing to prove, he was the one who had to show her he could satisfy her. He held her tight as his load filled her up and spilled out of her onto the bed beneath them. They were both sweaty and exhausted, collapsing against each other as Cloud finished.
"You're amazing," he breathed into her ear as he panted.
"No, you are," she said back as she attempted to catch her breath.
Meanwhile…
It had been weeks since any of the Turks had seen Reno. He first disappeared the night he was supposed to meet Tifa at the Meteor monument in the center of Edge. His coworkers were concerned when he didn't come in to work suddenly, but they assumed the couple had run off somewhere to spend some time together away from the rest of the world. They knew about the necklace and figured Reno had given it to her.
The first few days, even the first week, they thought this was the case, even though Reno didn't reach out to say anything (he never missed work before) and he didn't answer his phone or text messages.
The Turks became worried after they saw multiple stories in several tabloids and papers about Cloud and Tifa's engagement. "Saviors of the Planet to Finally Marry," one headline read. It was then the Turks realized that Reno was not in some remote, romantic location with Tifa. Even then, they figured he just needed time to himself, since he had never been in a relationship before. He may have been an adult (who acted like a child) but in relationship years he was a teenager.
So, they paid attention to the local media and police reports for any evidence that he was lashing out in his grief. As the weeks passed, they broadened their attention to international media outlets and reports to make sure he wasn't involved in anything globally. Nothing seemed like his signature.
Phone calls, text messages, and even personal visits were ignored and eventually they started receiving the "sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service" message. Finally, Rude had enough and went to Reno's apartment to break down the door. He didn't know what he expected to find in Reno's apartment, the redhead might be distraught but Rude didn't think he had it in him to commit self-harm. Rude picked the lock to Reno's apartment and pushed open the door, fearing the worst.
The apartment looked unchanged from the last time Rude had been over. The furniture was still upright and in place. Nothing was broken or shifted. It was clear Reno still lived here, even if a light coating of dust could be seen on the dining room table. The second thing Rude noticed was the smell. It didn't smell of decaying flesh – as a Turk, he was intimately aware of how a dead body smelled. He made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge to find the answer to his question. Leftovers and milk had not been thrown out for God only knows how long.
Rude closed the refrigerator door to continue searching. On the coffee table, an empty lowball glass sat, still hugging the residue of the scotch that had filled it weeks earlier. Next to the glass was a black velvety jewelry box sitting open to show a displaced diamond and emerald necklace. Rude's eyes narrowed at the jewelry as he sighed heavily and shook his head.
He then turned back toward the bedroom as his expression dropped. He half expected the apartment to be completely cleaned out when he arrived, but seeing that the furniture was still here gave him a little hope. The bald Turk made his way toward the bedroom slowly, worried about what he might find. He stopped in the doorway to assess his surroundings.
The bed was fitfully unmade, which normally wouldn't mean anything but now seemed to suggest Reno must not be living here anymore. If his maid were still coming, the bed wouldn't be so disheveled and there wouldn't have been a coating of dust on all the wood furniture.
Rude scanned the room slowly. There was a pile of clothes on the floor as there usually was between cleaning. One of Reno's nightstands appeared to have been tossed out of place, but everything else looked pretty normal until he glanced toward the desk and the closet. The closet doors were open but all of his suits were hanging up. The closet otherwise appeared empty. Rude searched the desk and dresser drawers – empty. All of his non-Turk clothes (of which he had few) were missing, as well as all his weapons and ammunition.
Rude wandered into Reno's bathroom to see that it, too, seemed to be in order. He rifled through the medicine cabinet to find that Reno's toothbrush, toothpaste, and various other things a man would typically have in his bathroom were all still there. A bath towel laid crumpled on the floor near the sink. The toilet lid and seat were up. Various items were scattered around the sink – toiletries, cologne, deodorant, etc.
Rude returned to the bedroom and noticed something out of the corner of his eye near the bed. Something he missed earlier when he was really just looking for signs of Reno himself. It was where the overturned nightstand was supposed to sit. Rude walked across the unforgiving Berber carpet to examine the floor. Some of the carpet had been ripped up to reveal a floor safe, which was open and… empty.
Rude fell back on his rear as he put it all together. Reno wasn't just hiding somewhere in the world to lick his wounds. He was never coming back.
Six months later…
"How do I look?" Tifa asked Yuffie as she stood in front of a floor-length trifold mirror.
Her hair was pulled up into a large, loosely curled bun at the nape of her neck with small decorative lily charms wrapped around it. A long white veil flowed from the bottom of the bun and onto the floor behind her. Tifa ran her hands over the front of her wedding dress, a strapless fitted bodice with a mermaid cut that hugged her body in all the right places without being scandalous. The dress itself had a floral lace pattern with beading and a lengthy train. Her arms were covered with matching detached sleeves that pointed down the back of her hands without reaching her fingers. She was breathing deeply, her chest rising and falling noticeably as she inspected herself.
"I didn't think it was possible for you to get more gorgeous," Yuffie said sweetly, causing Tifa to smile. "Cloud's going to lose his shit."
Tifa laughed. She knew Yuffie wouldn't be able to remain ladylike for long.
The ceremony was held in Aeris' church so that she and Zack could attend. Cloud and Tifa had visited the church numerous times since they got back together to talk to their old friends and give them the good news. Aeris helped Tifa plan the wedding, while Zack and Cloud talked about guy stuff. The living couple worked to repair the pews and some of the other furniture in the church so that it could accommodate a wedding.
The ceremony was kept relatively small. Yuffie was the maid of honor and Cid was Cloud's best man, since it was his advice that helped Cloud win Tifa back. They had wanted all of AVALANCHE to be part of the wedding party but realized that would mean almost no guests to actually watch. Marlene walked down the aisle dropping pink rose petals and took her seat next to Barret in the front row along with Elmyra. Vincent and Reeve sat in the opposite pew along with Nanaki, the ring bearer.
Shera watched as Cid stood beside Cloud, admiring how much the two men had grown up in the past few years. Both dressed in dark blue tuxedos with silver vests, two blonde men who previously had no clue how to be in a relationship, one now married and the other about to be.
Tifa had learned about Reno's disappearance from his coworkers, who had begun visiting Seventh Heaven again in the hopes he'd return there someday. With him gone, though it pained her to know she had driven him so far away, she felt comfortable inviting the other Turks to the wedding. Rude, Freyra, Tseng, and Elena sat in the second row, happy for the couple but silently worrying for their comrade.
When news of the wedding spread, Tifa was contacted by Marle, the woman who helped her when she was brought to the Midgar slums, who said she had recently moved to Edge. To Tifa's delight, Marle was also able to contact Zangan, who sat with her as they watched the ceremony. Ester from the Gold Saucer was there, as well as Pricilla from lower Junon, though the younger girl shared her mock dismay that she was not the one marrying Cloud. Leslie Kyle and his wife also accepted an invitation, as did Andrea Rhodea, who also helped the couple choreograph their first dance.
Cloud's eyes nearly popped out of his head when Tifa entered the church and began walking down the aisle. His first thought was that he had never been so happy in his life, and that she had never looked more beautiful. His second thought was that he wanted the ceremony to be over so that he could be alone with his wife.
He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding in when Tifa approached the alter and he took her hands in his. He was so focused on her that he really didn't pay attention to what the officiant was saying, but he did hear him ask if Cloud took Tifa to be his wife.
"I do," he responded, never taking his eyes off Tifa.
"I do," Tifa said when she was asked the same question, looking at Cloud through glistening eyes as she tried to hold back happy tears.
Later…
The sound of a cork popping out of a bottle of champagne signaled the beginning of the reception. Cloud and Tifa had their first dance; others joined in, even Rude. They cut the cake, smearing it in each other's faces. Barret "danced" with Marlene by swaying and holding her in his strong arm as she slept later in the evening. Tifa threw the bouquet. Elena caught it – by shoving Yuffie out of the way.
Pricilla was able to convince Cloud to slow dance with her for one song, and had to be pried away from him after. Nanaki scarfed down a piece of cake to the horror of some onlookers before sitting back on his haunches and licking his chops. Tifa shared a dance with Zangan and caught up with Marle and everyone else she hadn't seen in so long.
And in the end, she and Cloud collapsed in their bed to sleep before leaving for their honeymoon in Costa del Sol the next day.
Meanwhile…
The three remaining Edge-based Turks had learned to move on without their second-in-command. Rude was promoted to replace Reno but he refused. Tseng moved forward with the promotion anyway, though Rude, God bless him, still held out hope that Reno would return some day, that his partner and best friend hadn't just abandoned him because he was heartbroken. The Turks were a family, and you didn't abandon family.
Very few Turks had ever managed to leave the job alive. Vincent Valentine had, but he wasn't exactly the best example, given what led to his leaving and how it had left him only partly human. Actually, he was the only example. Veld had to be presumed dead in order to leave the organization, and the underlings that had worked with Reno and Rude before Sephiroth's return "retired" when shit hit the proverbial fan, but they were rehired once Rufus was found in the Shinra basement after the calamity.
Elena tried to comfort Rude as best she could, continuing to search out-of-town papers and news reports for signs of where Reno may have fled and offering Rude platitudes to give him hope, even if she herself didn't think they'd ever see Reno again. A Turk disappearing was one thing; a Turk disappearing with their getaway bag was something else. Reno was going where he wouldn't be found and taking steps to ensure he stayed hidden. Elena knew that if they ever saw him again, he wouldn't be the Reno they knew anymore.
The three tried to hide Reno's disappearance from Rufus for as long as they could, but eventually the big man came asking – demanding, really. Tseng gave as vague an explanation as he could, while leaving the door open that Reno could return at any minute. Rufus glared and screamed and offered one of his typical harangues about the red-haired scoundrel that dared to abandon Shinra.
Whenever any of the Turks were out of town on assignment, they looked for anyone who might possibly be a transformed Reno. He wanted to cease to exist, so they assumed he must have made a drastic physical change. They inspected anyone that matched his height, since that was something he couldn't change. Every time they thought someone may be him, they found out something about them to disprove the theory. Tseng had informed the Turks scattered throughout the world that they were to keep an eye out for a physically altered Reno. He didn't tell them why Reno had gone AWOL, as he felt the real reason, without any context, might diminish Reno in their eyes. He did, however, let them know Reno was not a danger nor was he in danger.
And then the call came.
Tseng, being Tseng, had come to grips with Reno's departure rather quickly, at least outwardly. Elena, being Elena, knew that Reno vanishing left a hole in Tseng's heart just as Veld's leaving had. She would catch glimpses of Tseng, in moments where he thought Elena wasn't watching, slumping his shoulders or looking out the window as if Reno would just be trotting up the sidewalk down below. She'd found newspaper clippings of various events around the world that she assumed Tseng thought might involve Reno – a helicopter crash near Gongaga, a smashed business in Mideel, various reports of drunks acting stupidly, and others. She also found a police scanner in his nightstand drawer.
Rude became quieter than ever. He thought he'd seen Reno at his lowest years and years ago, and he never expected him to up and vanish over a woman. He had seen Reno fall fast and hard for Tifa, however, and all he could do was hope his friend eventually found peace, even if that peace never led him home.
It was early one morning, when all three Turks were in their office at the new Shinra headquarters. The office that felt just so darn empty even though just one desk was unoccupied. Granted, it was the largest desk in the room outside Tseng's office, but still it sat like a jester constantly laughing at their loss. No one dared touch the desk after they inspected it for clues. It was now covered in dust that cut through their hearts whenever they happened to glance in its direction, a reminder that they had failed their friend and colleague when he needed them most. Not since Veld left had any Turk felt so lost or feeble.
Tseng received calls regularly, usually from Rufus demanding something or other. But on this particular morning, everyone for some reason knew the ringing in Tseng's office was not only not Rufus, but something important.
Rude and Elena, naturally, only heard Tseng's part of the call, but they definitely perked up as soon as he answered.
"Hello?" he asked. "Oh, Juget. Everything alright in Icicle?"
"Icicle's fine. Tseng, there's someone here I think you should see," Juget responded.
"Really? I'll be there tonight. Thank you, Juget."
Tseng hung up the phone and laced his fingers under his chin to gather his thoughts. Rude and Elena looked at each other before leaning to look into Tseng's office for any hint as to the nature of the conversation. Tseng said nothing, so they each stood up and entered his office timidly.
"What's in Icicle?" Elena asked, crossing her arms expectantly.
Tseng didn't so much as glance toward either of his subordinates. Instead, he simply leaned back in his chair and placed his hands on either armrest while continuing to stare forward.
"I think Juget found him," he said.
"Shouldn't I be the one to approach him?" Rude asked with a disapproving grunt.
Tseng let his eyes wander toward the bald Turk.
"No, I think you're too close to the issue on this one," he responded.
"Why can't we all go?" Elena asked.
"It would look like an ambush," Tseng said, almost as a scold. Elena huffed. "No, I'm going to take care of this myself."
Tseng stood up without a hint of panic or frustration and simply gathered his things to leave.
"I'll let you know how it goes," he said as he walked out the door, leaving Rude and Elena behind to comprehend the situation.
Rude was a little hurt that Tseng hadn't asked him to go, since Reno was his best friend and he knew more than anyone what it was like to have an unrequited love for Tifa Lockhart. Rude did not, however, question why Elena wasn't sent.
Tseng arrived in Icicle late in the evening and met up with Juget to learn what she knew. She looked just as she had back when Veld was in command, with long, dark ashen hair and an intense, almost manly stare despite her delicate, feminine features. She greeted Tseng as she would anyone else, with a short, efficient greeting before immediately divulging what she had seen.
"I was in Modeoheim for my meeting regarding the oil contracts," Juget began, her tone brusque. "I stopped in a local bar afterward, which was apparently where a group of local loggers frequent. There's a lumber mill nearby."
Tseng nodded along and gave no indication of what he was feeling.
"Most of the loggers were large, burly men, but there was one among them who didn't fit," she continued. "He looked sickly, yet he wasn't being teased for his size. In fact, he didn't seem to care about anyone else and mostly kept to himself during the night. But they did try to engage him."
"What did the man look like – the one who avoided the loggers?" Tseng asked.
"He was tall and too thin, dark reddish brown hair, a beard…"
"That could be him, but what made you think that?"
"When I first had my suspicions, I tried to get a look at his face, but he was always looking the opposite direction. I waited him out until closing time. I could swear he knew I was there and was avoiding my direction, so I left but waited outside the building and around the corner," Juget explained. "He came out and I was able to see his face only briefly. He had dark eyes, but underneath, on his cheekbones, was just a slight discoloration, probably not noticeable to anyone who didn't know to look, but I think he had his tattoos removed."
Tseng blinked at this information. Reno refused to tell most people why he had those tattoos (Tseng knew) but he was also really attached to them beyond the physical. He'd been beaten and broken before, and the first question he'd ask if his face needed to be put back together was whether the tattoos were intact.
Tseng wanted to get a better look at this man, still not completely convinced it would be Reno. They had traveled for leads before, and each one turned out to be a dead end. There was a man in Mideel whom the Turks really thought was Reno for a while, but after Freyra tailed him for about a week, they came to the conclusion that it was just a pale man with red hair who became afraid that he was being stalked. There were a few alleged sightings in Junon, too, but those also went nowhere. Maur thought he saw Reno in Costa del Sol, but it turned out to be an unfortunate doppelgänger.
This was the first time Tseng had traveled to follow up, though. Juget hadn't provided any information over the phone that would suggest this was really Reno, but Juget hadn't called in a single tip in six months and had never been one to get overhyped. Of all the scattered Turks, she was the most level-headed and perceptive, so Tseng trusted her judgement.
"Do you know where he is now?" Tseng asked.
"At The Lumberjack in Modeoheim," Juget said. "I've gone back every night since my meeting to try to learn what I could about the man, but all I know is that he showed up a while back, but no one knows how long because apparently there's a quick turnaround rate for loggers in the area. His name is Axel but other than that he has given no personal details and doesn't socialize much with the other loggers. Apparently, something about him freaks them out, though. He's there every night with them."
"Thank you, Juget, I'll see what I can do," Tseng said simply, his voice free of emotion.
Juget left him outside Icicle Inn, where Tseng paid for a room for several days – just in case. He didn't expect Reno to quickly accept his pleading to return, if the man Juget saw was even him. He set his travel bag down on the bed in the room and left to find The Lumberjack.
The bar was just outside Modeoheim, on the road leading back to Icicle Inn where it branched off toward the lumber mill. It was a seedy little dive bar, with wood-paneled walls and floors that were scuffed beyond repair. Dartboards hung on one wall while numerous wooden and lighted signs for branded beers adorned the others. An L-shaped counter sat in front of the bar, and two bartenders worked to serve customers. One was a short, rotund woman with frizzy orange hair who looked like she had been bartending for decades and had no desire to put in the effort for tips anymore. The other was an average-sized man who was roughly the same age, who appeared to be the owner of the establishment.
Tseng scanned the room at the group of loggers who were spread out around the seating area. A group of them were sitting at one of the tables playing poker, shouting and cheering as they conversed. Others were standing around chatting about this or that, while a few others played darts or drank together at the bar. Juget had been right that they were all burly men – of varying heights – but they looked exactly how Tseng would imagine a logger to look.
He quickly found the man who stood out. He was dressed like the others, in a plaid flannel shirt and jeans with work boots. He was severely underfed looking, however, and Tseng wondered how the man would be able to work such a job if he were not, in fact, Reno of the Turks. No normal human being had such strength in such a slim package.
Tseng slowly made his way to the bar, receiving some confusing stares from the other men in the bar who weren't used to seeing someone in such an impeccable suit in a place like this. Juget had left out the part where she received those same looks, along with a whole lot of pickup lines and catcalls. She quickly had the men in their place, however, winning all their money in poker, kicking their asses at darts – and drinking – and then literally kicking their asses when they were pissed. All the while, the man she suspected to be Reno never looked up from his drink.
Thankfully, the men didn't yell anything at Tseng to give away his existence, somehow knowing this man was far more important than his presence suggested. He approached the stool next to the one where the thin man sat with his legs spread wide beneath the counter. The sides of his knees rested against the bottom of the bar and invaded the space of the stool next to him where Tseng sat. The leader of the Turks didn't mind, as he had more important things to deal with than someone else's manners.
The thin man made no indication that he even registered another human being had sat next to him, taking another long sip of cheap whiskey. Tseng didn't look over at the man next to him – that would be too obvious. Instead, he used one of his Turk techniques to study the man out of the corner of his eyes.
The man's flannel shirt was rolled up at the sleeves to reveal the white thermal Henley shirt he wore underneath, with the sleeves rolled over those of the flannel. In a mark against the man's alleged identity, Tseng noticed his Henley shirt was fully buttoned even if his flannel shirt was not. Even then, only the top two buttons of the flannel shirt were detached. Tseng would have assumed a properly buttoned shirt would not be something Reno could adopt, even if he was trying to disappear.
The thin man had dark auburn hair and a matching, full beard. He could have had Reno's wild, untamed mane, but his hair was slicked back with some kind of pomade, giving him a swoop in the front instead of Reno's bangs. His eyes were a very common brown, nondescript, forgettable, though there was an animalistic intensity that seemed to be reaching for the surface. The marks on his cheekbones looked like he may have been injured as a child or were the result of aging. His face was gaunt, his cheeks hollow. His expression matched.
"Strange weather we're having, hmm?" Tseng said out loud to no one in particular, just to see how the man reacted.
There was no visible flinch or tensing to speak of. The thin man simply raised his glass toward his lips, grunted in a gruff, tortured manner, as though he regularly gargled gravel, and took another sip of whiskey.
Tseng continued to look forward but narrowed his eyes. If this man were, indeed, Reno, he was doing a damn good job of playing his new part. The female bartender waddled over to Tseng and asked for his drink order.
"Your finest scotch," Tseng said, politely.
The woman recoiled at him like he had just asked to be served the blood of a jumping. Her head actually moved back a few inches from her collar bone as she flared one nostril and twisted her expression.
"Where do think you are? Junon?" she sneered.
Tseng leaned forward on his elbows. "How about your finest whiskey?"
The woman still looked at him like he had two heads but relented.
"I don't know if it's fine, but it'll get ya drunk," she scowled.
"That'll do," Tseng said. Just as the woman turned to retrieve his order, Tseng spoke up again. "And bring one for my friend here," he said, motioning to the thin man.
The man didn't turn to look at Tseng but did nod his head and mumble a guttural "thank you."
"You been here long?" Tseng asked the thin man once their drinks had arrived.
"A while," the man responded in a tone that made it clear he was not looking for conversation.
"I just got in from Edge, might be here a while," Tseng said, pressing on. "The bars up here sure aren't like those in Edge though. Ever been to Edge?"
"Can't says I have," the man uttered.
"Really?" Tseng asked, feigning incredulity. "You should go sometime. Ever hear of a bar called Seventh Heaven? It's pretty famous."
Tseng wasn't sure, but he thought he detected a slight tensing of the thin man's shoulder at the mention of Tifa's bar.
"Never heard of it," the man replied.
"Oh, it's great. The owner was one of those people who saved the planet years back – the pretty one."
Again, Tseng couldn't be quite sure, as he was sitting to the right of the thin man, but he thought he saw the lashes of the man's left eye twitch.
"Reno?" Tseng asked, just to see if he could get a bigger reaction.
The man didn't flinch but did finish the last of the drink Tseng bough him.
"Buddy, I don't know who you're lookin' for, but you got the wrong guy," the man said, easing up from the bar and reaching in his back pocket for some gil. In a move that would have seemed odd to anyone else, the man used a napkin to wipe the rim of the glass and the outer portion where he had held it.
The man then dropped the gil on the counter and nodded to the bartender before turning to leave the bar. Tseng considered going after him but thought better of it. If that was Reno, he knew Tseng was here. Pushing the situation could make him run. If Tseng let the man think he was convinced he had the wrong guy, maybe he'd stick around.
Before either of the bartenders came back to Tseng he had collected the thin man's glass and hidden it in his jacket pocket to analyze later, just in case he were able to pull any fingerprints or DNA off of it. Tseng also dropped a stack of gil – more than enough for what he ordered – on the counter before disappearing from the bar before anyone noticed.
He looked from side to side when he exited, just in case the thin man was still in sight. He calmly walked back to his hotel room and called Juget to get the glass analyzed. She came over with a specialized kit – another nifty Turk gadget – and found a couple partial prints on the glass. She swabbed the rim and inside of the glass for DNA as well and sat back to wait for the portable computer to analyze.
"Do you think it's him?" she asked her superior.
"I don't know for sure, but I think it might be," Tseng replied, crossing his arms as a far-away look grazed his face.
Juget was not one for conversation, so the two sat in silence until the computer alerted them it had finished. Juget read through the analysis without her expression changing.
"The partials match, but it's inconclusive," she said dismissively. "Fingerprint analysis is always shaky, but a partial match is even shakier. It looks like there was no DNA left in the glass."
Tseng processed the information and sighed. It was something, but not much.
"I'll try again tomorrow night," he said.
Juget nodded and left the room, taking the kit with her. Tseng sat down on the edge of the bed with his fingers intertwined and resting between his knees. If this man were Reno, the heartache had certainly taken a toll on him. Everything that made Reno, Reno, was gone – the fiery red hair, the smirk, the smug sarcasm, even his tattoos. Tseng always knew that if Reno had to disappear he would go full-steam ahead with a transition, he just didn't think it would ever actually happen.
Tseng went back to The Lumberjack the next night to find the man sitting at the bar again. Perhaps he felt he had done enough to dissuade Tseng from thinking he was Reno – or maybe he really wasn't. Tseng again sat in the stool next to the man and again ordered a glass of whiskey for each of them.
"Buddy, I don't know what you want but I don't swing that way," the man said after Tseng ordered.
"How long you gonna keep this up?" Tseng asked with a hint of impatience after a brief silence had fallen between the two men.
"Don't know what you're talkin' about," the thin man said before taking a sip of the drink Tseng had ordered for him.
"How'd you get those scars?"
"Damn jemnezmy got me with her nails," the man replied rather quickly.
"Hmm."
Tseng focused on his drink for a little bit, preparing his next move. He wanted to wrap this up quickly, knowing he didn't have much time before the man, if he were Reno, would skip town to avoid being discovered. If he couldn't get him to answer in the bar, he'd have to be tougher outside, and he didn't want to mess up his nice suit with snow.
"You know, I saw Tifa the other day," he said. It was cruel, but necessary.
"Who?" the man asked.
Tseng was beginning to think that perhaps this man wasn't Reno. He again focused on his drink to let the statement fester, should this man actually be Reno. Tseng's hunches were usually right, and he definitely had a hunch about this man, even if his answers pointed to the contrary. They were almost convincing, actually. But every now and then Tseng saw a crack, barely discernible, like an emotion from Rude.
Several minutes passed as Tseng left the man next to him alone. The leader of the Turks quietly and calmly sipped his whiskey, which was pretty terrible and not at all refined like the scotch he drank back in Edge. He considered trying something else but figured anything offered at this particular establishment would be beneath his standards. He wondered how Reno could stand it - again, if this man really was Reno.
With a heavy sigh, Tseng finished his drink, paid his tab, and left. He waited in the shadows for the thin man to leave and was nearly frozen when the man finally left the bar. Tseng knew Reno would be difficult to tail, but Tseng was the consummate professional, and knew all the tricks. He managed to follow the thin man back into Modeoheim and to a small log cabin on the outskirts of town. Tseng waited until the lights inside the cabin went dark before making his way over and ducking under a window. He just needed one thing to confirm this was Reno – one trinket or item to prove the man that had thrown up some pretty damn good walls was his former second-in-command.
Tseng slowly lifted his head to peer into the window at the man's living room. It was definitely messier than Reno's apartment back in Edge, with clothing strewn all over the furniture and floor, from what Tseng could see thanks to the nearby streetlight. The room was sparsely furnished, with a sofa and coffee table with a small TV in the corner. Tseng saw nothing on the walls or coffee table that offered any clues.
So, he moved around to another window in the front, this one higher and smaller than the last. The kitchen. Again, there wasn't much to see, but Tseng did notice, tucked into the corner of the counter, a bottle of Reno's favorite scotch. Not conclusive but getting close. Tseng moved to the back of the house to see into the bedroom. The thin man was asleep, and the moonlight luckily cast a wall of light into the room, illuminating an item sitting on the nightstand.
An electro mag rod. Tseng had what he needed. Rude never found the mag rod in Reno's apartment back in Edge, and they all knew he wouldn't leave it behind.
Tseng sat back against the cabin wall outside. It was him, hardened and determined not to let his real identity slip. Tseng had never fully comprehended how much Tifa had meant to Reno until this very moment.
Day 3.
With his suspicions confirmed, Tseng again travelled to The Lumberjack after working hours and again found the thin man at the bar. Smug, Tseng thought. Reno really thought he was pulling this off. He sidled up next to the man and sat down, ordering them each a glass of whiskey.
"Seriously man, I ain't your guy," the thin man said while still accepting the free drink.
"Yeah, you are," Tseng replied coolly. "I saw the mag rod."
The man shuddered and Tseng saw a hint of disdain and acceptance.
"You followed me into the bathroom?" the thin man asked.
There was that Reno sense of humor.
"Cut the crap, Reno. I followed you home last night," Tseng hissed. "You're acting pathetic. This isn't you."
"Sorry to disappoint, buddy, but this is me," the man retorted, waving his hand in front of his face, still attempting to pretend to be someone else.
Tseng sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"We miss you," he said, almost coldly.
An uncomfortable silence fell between the two men for what felt like minutes.
"Was she… happy?" the thin man asked, his voice cracking briefly from its usual suede to reveal a glimpse of Reno.
"Hmm?" Tseng asked.
"Tifa," Reno said glumly. "When you saw her, was she happy?"
The corner of Tseng's lips twitched upward briefly. Progress. He thought back to the last time he saw Tifa. The wedding.
"Yeah, she was happy," Tseng admitted.
Reno took a sip of whiskey but continued to stare straight forward, across the long side of the bar and to the back wall. He made no movements to indicate his feelings one way or the other, though Tseng knew he had to be hurting.
"Good," Reno replied, his expression unchanged but his voice back to normal and a little lighter, as if he were truly glad to hear that.
Another uncomfortable silence.
"Why'd you run?" Tseng asked finally. "It didn't seem like something you would do."
Tseng knew, obviously, that Tifa had chosen Cloud, but because Reno absconded so quickly, none of the Turks knew how it all went down.
And then Reno told him about how he gave Tifa the necklace. How she said she chose him. How he waited for her at the monument. How she broke his heart.
"Guys like us don't get to have normal lives, Reno," Tseng said afterward. "We gave those up for money and power."
"You're really gonna pull that on me when you have Elena?"
"I only have Elena because she understands this world we're in. We can't be with someone outside that world."
Reno didn't answer, instead sitting in silent contemplation for awhile.
"Why'd you have to come here?" Reno finally asked, his voice low so as not to alert his coworkers to this conversation.
"We want you to come back. We've been looking everywhere for you."
"Did it ever occur to you I didn't want to be found, y—?" he stopped short before falling into his old speech pattern.
"We're Turks. We're paid to find people, especially those who don't want to be found."
"Who paid you to find me, then?"
"No one, Reno. You're family."
"I have no family. Caring for people makes you weak."
Tseng sighed again.
"Do you know why I recruited you and promoted you over Rude?" Tseng asked.
"Because of my skills and award-winning personality?" a little bit more of Reno shone through.
"Your skills definitely helped," Tseng replied smoothly as Reno puffed out his cheeks in annoyance. No one ever took his charms seriously. "When Veld and I first found you in the slums, you were working to become a SOLDIER. Said you wanted to make enough money to take care of your family. Your sister was ill, and your mother was destitute."
Reno's lazy smirk had quickly subsided at the mention of "Veld" and further mention of his family. He sunk lower in his seat and steeled himself for Tseng's monologue.
"Most people join SOLDIER for money and power – but not you. You did it to help the ones you loved."
"…with money," Reno added.
"But it wasn't power you wanted, at least not back then," Tseng retorted. "You were promoted because we knew you would do whatever it took to get the job done so you could provide for your family."
"So, it had nothing to do with my skills? It was only because of how easy I was to manipulate?" Reno shot back angrily.
Tseng didn't want to confirm, so instead he shook his head and lied.
"That's not what I meant," he said. "Your motives were different than the others. You were motivated by love, Reno. It didn't make you weak, it made you stronger than everyone else."
"Tch. Fat lot of good that did me. Sis died and mom offed herself soon after," Reno spit out, his words bitter. "And another thing, this situation is totally different. I wasn't providing for Tifa, I was doing my job – and sucking at it, might I add."
"You're wrong," Tseng admonished. "We wouldn't have been in the Northern Crater if it weren't for you. Every step of the way – you were the one leading us forward and getting the information we needed."
"Fine, but I'm no use now," Reno growled.
"Yes, you are," Tseng insisted. "The rest of us have emotions, and now you do, too. It can only help."
"No, it can't."
"Think of it this way, things may hurt right now, but it was the first time you ever felt that way about someone, yeah? That means, maybe you can feel that way again someday, about someone else."
Reno scoffed.
"Like you said, I can't be with anyone outside the lifestyle, so what's the point?"
"Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe there's someone out there that would understand. The world's a dangerous place."
The men finished their drinks in silence before Tseng ordered another round.
"So, what did I miss?" Reno asked after another prolonged silence.
"Remember how Rude was scheduled to meet with an oil-rig owner in Mideel just after you left?"
"Yeah."
"Well, apparently he and Freyra really hit it off and have been dating long distance ever since."
"Good for him," Reno said, sounding more sarcastic than he meant, though he couldn't ignore the fact that he was stung with jealousy that everyone around him seemed to be in love.
"Cloud and Tifa were married a couple weeks ago."
Reno visibly tensed this time but quickly softened. He stared deep into his glass for a few moments before speaking. "I'm glad. She deserves to be happy," he offered.
The truth was, Reno was happy for Tifa. He spent the beginning of his isolation hating her, hating Cloud, but mostly hating himself. But as the months dragged on, he started realizing that he was just hurt. As time passed, he started hoping she was happy with the decision she made. He truly loved her and found himself wanting her to have everything she ever wanted, even if that didn't include him.
"That's very mature of you," Tseng said. He then looked around the room before he turned his gaze directly toward Reno. "Is this really the life you want now?"
Reno followed Tseng's lead and also looked around the bar. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the bar and hung his head.
"No," he said with a certain sadness to his voice. "But it's the one I need right now."
"I think you're ready to come back," Tseng said. "We all certainly miss you, and you'll always have a place with the Turks. Your apartment has been paid for and your position is secure. Rude hates being second-in-command without you there."
Reno chuckled out of the side of his mouth a little at the last remark but continued to run his thumb over the rim of the empty glass he was holding.
"I'll think about it," he said simply, more to his glass than to Tseng.
"We'll be waiting," Tseng said with a hand on Reno's shoulder as the raven-haired leader stood up to leave.
Reno continued to swivel his empty glass in his palm after Tseng left. A few of the other lumberjacks came over to try and ask him about that man who kept showing up and if he knew him or why he seemed to talk to him for so long. Reno, or Axel, dismissed them with a grunt and left the bar after paying his tab.
He rolled down his sleeves once he got outside and pulled a knit cap out of his back pocket to cover his ears. He hated living in such a cold and desolate place and wanted desperately to go home to Edge. He wasn't cut out for this life, with all its boring regularity, even if he was really proud of the beard. If he went back to Edge he'd have to stop dying his hair, and somehow a fire red beard – especially with aquamarine eyes – just wouldn't have the same appeal.
He shoved his hands in his jean pockets and headed home, filled with mixed feelings he had pushed aside for months. Yes, he wanted to go home, but not to the life he had, not to the way he lived before he fell for Tifa. He needed to be ready to go back to Seventh Heaven, to come to terms with what happened, because Rude and Elena and even Tseng were friends with her now. He needed to get to a place where he could be near her with his friends and not look pathetic, as Tseng called him, or menacing. Cloud needed to know Reno wouldn't be there to cause trouble, because he really didn't want to cause her any pain. Seventh Heaven was just a nice place to get a drink with friends and a lively atmosphere.
He had nearly approached his home when those four little words cropped up into his mind; the four little words he hadn't heard in months because he had done everything short of jamming an icepick into his eardrum to suppress them.
"I love you, too."
He placed a hand on his front door to steady himself as he looked at the snow beneath his feet. He wasn't ready, yet.
Weeks later…
Tifa was pouring a beer from the tap for a customer. Cloud had just brought in a new keg and was standing beside her, a little too close to keep the patrons from making kissing noises. It was becoming less frequent, but there were still a few who thought it was funny to make sounds and comments at the newlyweds.
By now Cloud and Tifa were able to tune them out, or they would give each other a little smile to indicate their not-so-secret inside joke. They were married now, let the people be immature. Cloud didn't mind since he and Tifa were together. Months ago, it would have hurt him to hear it or given him too much false hope. But now? Now he just counted the hours and minutes until the bar would close so that they could be alone.
The Turks had stopped coming to the bar for a while after the engagement announcement made the papers. Tifa understood why, even if she did miss their banter and Elena specifically. She knew she would lose them after she hurt Reno, but it didn't stop it from hurting her as well.
Eventually they made their way back, informing Tifa that Reno had left town. A new wave of guilt had washed over her then, knowing how badly she had damaged one of the strongest men she knew. She thought back to how her friends always said she was the strongest woman they knew – and Cloud had crushed her, back then.
So, she was surprised when the chimes above the bar door rang close to closing time and she glanced over to see a ghost. A memory now faded, but not tarnished. Her eyes widened as her lips curled into a soft, friendly smile – one bordering between what she would give a friend and a regular.
Reno was not familiar with this look from her, and though she was as beautiful as ever and he was just happy to see her again, he didn't like it. Rude, Elena, Tseng, and Freyra were all sitting at their usual table and nearly dropped their drinks when he entered, strolling over to them as if he hadn't just disappeared for nearly eight months.
His hair was its usual red again; his beard shaved. He was still too thin, even for Reno, and the lack of tattoos on his cheeks stood out more to those who knew him than the actual tattoos ever had. He wore his old dark blue Turk suit, which brought out his eyes, again aquamarine. He pulled up a chair and sat with his old coworkers, whose expressions all looked similar to Tifa's.
"Is this what pity looks like?" he asked. "Cuz I don't want any part of it, yo."
Elena leaned over in her chair to throw her arms around his neck, as Rude placed a hand on Reno's shoulder. He shook them off in an exaggerated manner and waved his hands in the air to get them to back up.
"What did I just say?" he asked, earning him his first chuckle of his return.
"So, you're back completely?" Elena asked when she pulled out of the hug.
"Yeah, well, Tseng made it clear you guys were fallin' apart without me, so…"
Tseng stared straight at Reno, emotionless.
"I heard you had a beard. Any pictures?" Elena asked.
"No."
"Your tattoos…" Rude noticed. Reno just scoffed.
"What'll you do now?" Tseng asked.
"Might head back to Icicle, teach Juget a lesson, if you know what I mean," Reno teased, sounding like his old self.
"Are you really going back to your old ways?" Freyra chimed in.
Reno dropped his shoulders and sighed, shaking his head.
"No," he breathed out, looking at his hands in front of him on the table. "Where do you go from Tifa Lockhart?"
"I hear that Wutai princess is still available," Freyra joked.
The others turned to look at her with wide yet glaring eyes, but Reno just laughed off her remark. A tumbler of scotch appeared in front of him, held by the soft, delicate hand of an angel standing just to the side of Reno's shoulder. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, an aroma he had missed these past few months.
"Scotch?"
He followed the line of her arm up to see her face, which displayed a more natural smile now. Her eyes were still wide, but they were warm and telling him everything would be okay. He found himself smiling back.
"Thanks," he said calmly as he took the glass.
Cloud stood behind the bar watching the interaction. He wasn't threatening, more curious to see how Reno would act and if he had come to terms with the situation. He wanted to see what he would have looked like seven months after losing her. He gave her a reassuring hand on her shoulder when she returned to the bar. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Reno then fielded questions from his coworkers and described where he had been and what he had been doing since he left. When Tifa finally closed up the bar, Reno lingered at the table after standing up. He was staring at the wood grain he had once known so well and couldn't help but trace its patterns with his fingertips. Gone were the days when he would hang back to play, and that thought wasn't even on his mind. He was just soaking up the atmosphere that he had missed so much; breathing in the smell of liquor and cologne and the hint of hibiscus that seemed to waft through the room on a whim.
Tifa gave Cloud a nod and he went upstairs once everyone else had left.
"Reno?" Tifa asked, bringing the redhead to the realization that they were the only two left.
"Hey," he said, his voice breaking like a teenager's. He hoped she didn't notice.
"How've you been?" she walked over to him slowly, sure to keep her distance.
"Good and lousy," he responded languidly. "Spent some time in Icicle, chilled me out quite literally."
"Tseng said you grew a beard."
"He told everyone, didn't he?" Reno groaned. "Well, at least everyone knows that I can, in fact, grow facial hair if I wanted to."
Tifa smiled at his comment. She had really worried that he wouldn't be the same even if he did come back.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He really didn't want to be pitied. It was embarrassing.
"You know me, I always bounce back," he said, jabbing a thumb toward his chest and standing proudly.
"That you do," she replied.
After an awkward silence, Reno leaned over the bar, supporting his weight on his elbows.
"But, uh," he said quietly, "you really did think you loved me for a minute there, right?" he looked over at her with dejected, expecting eyes. Tifa nodded.
"I really did," she said, trying to smile.
Reno nodded his head a couple times as he stooped over the bar before knocking his knuckles on it once and standing up. He looked out the front window of the bar before looking back at Tifa, his trademark grin reinstated.
"G'night, Tifa," he said.
"Good night, Reno," she replied before he left the bar.
It was spring in Edge, much warmer than Icicle but still chilly. Reno walked down the street with heavy steps, the grin still plastered to his face. She had loved him. He didn't imagine it all, and like Tseng said, if he felt that way about someone once, he could feel it again. And if someone loved him once, someone could love him again.
He looked to the sky. There were a few stars out – the ones that weren't drowned out by the streetlights he passed on his way home. He finally saw what Tifa saw in the stars, why she was staring at them in Nibelheim and why he'd catch her looking up at them whenever they were out at night.
It was hope.
End notes: Hope you cried like I did during this chapter. Thank you all for taking this journey with me.
Now I plan to rewrite this extensively, fixing so many issues and adding so many new scenes, especially in the beginning. I'm also going to make it a Remake fic, which fits nicely with the fact that I only borrowed some elements of Advent Children while leaving out the main points.
When the rewrites are done, I have one more surprise. Like I said, when I started this fic I knew exactly how it would begin and end, but I also always planned to write an alternate ending because I love Reno so much.
I'll update the main description with where I am in the rewrites since FanFiction doesn't send alerts for edited chapters. I never wanted this story to end, and I'm still so sad that it has. I hope most of you love this story as much as I do.