Chapter 5.

"I'm getting a car." said Anael.

Charlie tried not to laugh at her excitement. Dean warned her not to get too close to the angel and not to be charmed by her, but that was outdated advice that he himself was no longer following, so Charlie didn't bother to hide the fact that she really enjoyed her company.

Whenever Dean and Anael ended up in the same room, which happened quite a lot, considering how they had both said many times how much they disliked each other, they ended up talking and laughing together. He took her on hunts if Cas was not available, calling her the "spare angel". Of course, now that Jack had promised to make her fully human if she could live without using her angelic powers, she was useless as an angel and being untrained as a hunter, was also less useful than human hunters, but still, for some reason, he'd let her tag along.

Sam thought he was overlooking his own feelings to support a lost and confused victim of the former Heaven. Eileen thought he liked Anael a lot more than he could admit, even to himself. Jules said it didn't matter what feelings either of them expressed, they were good for each other, Anael finding a little security in the company of the one hunter nobody liked to anger and Dean finding a sense of usefulness and companionship in taking care of her.

Charlie knew Dean well and she knew he didn't monologue around his enemies. He was too smart for that. If he made elaborate speeches about how much he hated you, he just didn't. He was trying to impress you with his wit and wordplay and why would he try to impress the gorgeous redhead with neither skills nor resources to offer the team, who was a liability in any fight? It made her smile, when he tried to impress with creative threats and insults while his eyes watched Anael's, hoping for any reaction, good or bad.

"Do you think he can find me a Camaro?" said Anael.

"If Dean says you're getting a Camaro, you're getting a Camaro and it'll be a good one, because his professional pride is on the line."

"He's professionally a hunter." said Anael, arranging coffee cups on a tray.

"Yes, but if he hadn't been a hunter, cars would have been his thing." said Charlie, "Will you be okay going out with him to get the car, or do you want me to come along?"

Anael seemed amused. "We get along so much better now. I'll be fine. Remember when he kept saying I couldn't touch his car?"

"That seemed like overkill at the time." said Charlie.

"He got mad whenever I looked at it."

"Dean never backs down." said Charlie, "But sometimes, he'll grant someone a do-over."

"He said the wedding was my redemption. Helping Eileen wiped out the whole trying to kill him, Sam, Jack and Castiel. I'm not sure it isn't still lurking in his head, waiting to be thrown at me if I make a mistake, but at least we can mostly be friends now."

"Forgiveness isn't easy for him." said Charlie.

"No and if he'd tried to kill me, I don't think I'd easily forgive him either." said Anael.

"You are pretty alike."

"That's a terrible thing to say to either of us. He hates angels and I hate dicks."

"He's not a dick." said Charlie.

"I know, but he does a pretty perfect impression of one when he tries."

"He's actually a sweet, kind, generous guy. Best friend I ever had or ever will have." Charlie began to pour the coffees.

"He's been good to me. I know that. He doesn't get why I don't feel remorse for what I did, but he found a way for us to move past it."

"I think you do feel remorse. I mean, you wouldn't do the same thing again, would you?"

"No," said Anael, "But I wouldn't do the same thing again because it didn't help and it made Dean Winchester hate me, not because I feel some obscure emotion I never understood." She looked troubled. "I know I need to understand them all. I need to feel them, to be human."

"Maybe it'll be easier when you are human. Angels aren't supposed to feel anything."

"Castiel does. I do. I feel things. Just not remorse or affection or attraction or ... what's that other one? Schadenfreude. But I feel pride, anger, fear, doubt, longing ... "

"Longing for what?" said Charlie.

"For what everyone here has, humanity, friendship, family, a life."

"You helped with the wedding because you liked Eileen. That's friendship and affection."

"I did it because I like shopping too and because I wanted to be part of it all."

"Wanting to be a part of a friend's wedding is a very human thing." said Charlie.

"Thinking about it, I mostly feel the negative ones." said Anael.

"Yeah, you and Dean have a lot in common."

"Does it mean I'm not a good person?"

Angels often seemed to Charlie like anxious children, trying to understand, but deeply afraid that they never would. Cas still seemed that way at times, though Jules and the Winchesters had taught him a lot and made him feel safe to explore. All poor Anael had experienced was God's neglect, AU Michael's contempt, Cas's disapproval and Dean's anger. None of those things were likely to help with her exploration.

Cas had improved his attitude and offered more support. Dean had practically done a one-eighty. God had been replaced by Jack, who was so encouraging it was adorable. Michael was dead. Anael could make a start now, but she was starting from scratch and with a lot of baggage. Charlie felt like it was her job to help her. She didn't know a lot about children, but she remembered being one and being as lost and alone as Anael had been feeling for years.

"You're not a bad person." she said, "You're just new to all this. You think Eileen's baby will be born with a PhD in psychology?"

"I ... " said Anael, then she frowned and Charlie realised she genuinely didn't know.

"No." said Charlie, "We all start out with nothing."

"But I'm not a baby." said Anael.

"You're a new human, or you will be soon, just like Eileen's baby. Just like him or her, you're gonna learn. Just be open to new experiences and sometimes ask yourself, 'What am I feeling now?' I'll tell you a secret. I was crap at interacting with anyone, growing up."

"I don't believe you. You're good with people."

"I didn't start out that way." said Charlie. She lifted the tray. "Come on. Let's go back to the others."

"You're a good friend, Charlie." said Anael.

Charlie smiled at her. "You too, Anael."