Chapter 10.

The second car was a '74 in exactly the condition advertised. It was worthy of a test drive and the seller, Lyall, went with them. Dean offered Anael the chance to drive, but she smiled and said, "No, I'm the tail-gunner today."

The transmission was smooth, the engine purring and Dean was impressed. "She's a fine car." he said.

"My pride and joy for the past ten years." said Lyall.

"Why are you selling?" said Dean. The thought of giving up his Impala was unthinkable, at least until Sam's firstborn was old enough to drive.

"Wife hates her. I swear she's jealous. Said, 'you need to pick, me or the car!'" Lyall looked at Anael, then back at Dean, "You know yourself, guy meets the right girl, there's no sacrifice he won't make." He laughed, "Anyhow, I figured I wouldn't get as much for Louise."

Dean grinned. He glanced at Anael to make sure she understood it was a joke and was relieved to see that she was smiling.

"We have a couple more cars to see." he said, "But this one is better than the one we were looking at an hour ago."

"This one has not given me a moment's trouble since I bought her." said Lyall, "Which is more than I can say for my wife." He laughed again. "I'm being unfair. She's a good wife and mother. I just never wanted to sell Vixen."

"You married your mother?" said Anael.

"You gave your car a stripper name?" said Dean, almost at the same time.

Lyall snickered. "You two are funny!"

"Yeah, we're hilarious." said Dean, with a meaningful look to Anael, hoping she would understand not to pursue the incest issue.

She correctly interpreted his signal and turned back to look at Lyall. "We like to joke around." she said.

"I like that." said Lyall, "People get so serious. There has to be some fun in life."

"Absolutely there does." she said, "In my family, nobody ever laughs. They just smite each other with righteous anger."

"Sounds like my wife's aunt. Always an opinion on everything and none of them good. She picks out all your faults like she's on a mission from God."

"My brothers and sisters are exactly the same." she said, "Everyone's always right and nobody ever makes a joke or cracks a smile."

"Wow. That's sad." he said, "I got a little girl, two years old. Whatever you do, she just cracks up laughing. I could listen to that sound forever."

"I'll bet." said Dean.

"You got kids of your own?" said Lyall.

"No, but my brother's about to become a father. I hope his kid never stops laughing."

"That's a nice wish for anyone. You and your brother close?"

"Yeah, he's saved my life a bunch of times. That kind of thing forges a bond."

"Yeah, it would." said Lyall, "Sounds like you've lived an interesting life."

"It never interested me." said Dean, "I've had a lot of bad luck."

"And then you met ... sorry, what was your name again?"

"Anael." said Dean, "Yeah and then I met her."

"So your luck's getting better."

Dean smiled. "Actually, recently, I do feel like someone up there is on my side, for a change."

They left Lyall at his home and got back into the Impala. "What did you think of the car?" said Dean.

"You don't think I should choose that one." she said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Just a feeling."

"Angels always read those wrong."

"You do think I should have it?" she said.

"I think there is a better one, but it needs to be your decision."

"Why are you showing me anything but the best one?" she said, "Is this a test, to see if an angel can make the right decision?"

"No. This is me not interfering in your choices."

She looked at him for long enough to make him feel uncomfortable, then she said, "I sometimes wonder why you're helping me at all. Even when you hated me, you helped me fit in around the bunker."

"It just made life easier for everyone." he said, "And I never hated you."

"You said you did."

"Yeah, I say a lot."

"I noticed." she said. There was a long silence, then she said, "So how would you characterise our relationship now?"

"Better." he said.

"Better?"

"You preferred it before?"

"Would you say we're friends now? I feel like we are, but you know angels and their feelings."

He couldn't look her in the eye. he turned the key instead and started the engine. "I know when I've hurt their feelings." he said, "I'm sorry. Some of the stuff I say, I really shouldn't." He pulled out onto the road.

"You'd still think it." she said.

"Yes," he said, "I'd say we were friends."

"Despite the angel thing?"

"Nobody can help what they are."

"You'll never see me as anything but an angel, will you?" she said.

"I don't know." he said, "I'm sorry. The angel thing is important, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends, good friends. Cas is my brother and he doesn't even want not to be an angel."

"The next car we're going to see is not the one you like best." she said, "You're saving that for last."

He nodded. "Okay, angels aren't always wrong about this stuff."

"Angels are wrong about almost everything, but I'm learning to be human." she said.

"I'm not sure it's something you can learn." he said.

"So we're all just stuck where we started?"

"I don't know. I don't do the big questions."

"What questions do you do?"

"How do we kill this monster? Is that hot chick single? Could we prank Gabriel so good that he never tangles with us again?"

"I'd like to help with that last one." she said.

He laughed, then he became serious. "I'll help you in any way I can. I'll teach you what little I know about being human. You mess up, I'll help you cover your tracks. Anything. But be sure, Anael. Be certain of what you want, of who you are. All I'm seeing is a lot in the loss column for no certain gains."

"I might find happiness, like Sam and Eileen have."

"You might, but millions, maybe billions of people who were born human and went through all the basic training you missed never do."

"That's a cynical view."

"Yes, it is, but it isn't inaccurate."

"Even if I don't, even if being a human is worse than being an angel and it can't be, even if I got hit by a truck an hour after becoming human, I'd still feel it was the right decision."

"Then you are almost dumb enough to be human." he said.

"I know you think that's an insult ... "

"No, it isn't. Maybe you think like a human sometimes. Maybe you can play a convincing human, but are you sure that you won't miss the immortality, the invulnerability, the righteous certainty?"

"No, I'm not sure, but I know that if I don't become human, something inside me will stay broken."

"I know that feeling." he said.

"What is it you want to be?" she said.

"Same as you," he said, "Human."