A/N: Next chapter in the AU saga and I finally feel like I've reached the end of the story setup phase. I'm looking forward to getting to the "meat" of things.

Should be the last of the filler for a while at any rate. Most of the backstory is set and now we get to see things play out a bit. Also, I find the elite clones fun to write. It's a welcomed change of pace.

Back to the story then.

~Siva'a-tasi

~III~

P.S.: To the brave soul that left the courageous anonymous review telling me to stay on topic after reading only a chapter or two: The short answer is, "Go read something else because I am on topic." You just won't know what it is for another twenty chapters or so.

Boy, are you gonna hate life between now and then. Muahahahahaha!

Chapter 4: A New Beginning

~ Previously on No More…

In the Mindscape: As something cold and terrible clamped down on what would be his heart if he had a body, Kurama heaved and tugged on his chakra wrenching back with everything he had. That chilling feeling was infecting his energy, feeding its way back to him. Unable to simply break free, he extinguished his tendrils closing off for the first time all of his energy output and sealing himself away from everything except the main conduit feeding the array.

The effort of which left him panting heavily on the floor of his cage as his wide eyes stayed glued to the abomination that was his seal.

He was chained to the death god. It was every bijuu's worst nightmare.

"So, now you know."

It was spoken calmly and without malice, but it stoked his anger all the same. Kurama lunged at the bars, smashing claw and limb and tail against them trying to reach the insufferable maggot just beyond the barrier he could not break.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Spittle flew, teeth flashed, and snarling rage shook the entire cavern. "WHAT! HAVE! YOU! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

~III~

~ Still Inside Naruto's Mindscape ~

Every one of them was frozen, each standing still as statues as the enraged demon's voice rippled out across the mindscape like a dying echo.

By now, the crazy red-headed clone claiming to be Namikaze Minato had garnered the very rapt attention of the other seven clones as they paused their impromptu meeting not twenty or thirty meters from where he was standing next to the still vibrating bars of the demon's prison.

Before he could "shush" the now deeply troubled spirit (in the vain hopes that this would pass over), whatever image they were huddled around popped like a balloon and they each turned to face him, their eyes flickering back and forth from the frothing furbag and the all-too-serious lunatic in blue robes.

It was as he was raising up from the bars to head them off that they all froze in their current poses, some of them stepping forward to close the distance, the Kyuubi with his or her mouth wide open, and the red-headed male with his eyes open as far as they could go. His wouldn't be the only ones like that as each and every pair of eyes turned to see the latest addition to the party – a still groggy and half-awake Naruto Uzumaki standing ankle-deep in water wearing his ramen cup pajamas and his favorite alligator-teeth sleeping cap.

No one said a word.

No one moved or breathed too loudly as the boy sleepily scratched his side, his mouth smacking open a few times after clearing a vicious yawn.

With the same half-awake aloofness, the boy splashed over to take Ku-chan's hand and, still not quite awake, strolled over to a newly-appeared column of light. Nestled snugly in the three-meter wide shaft lay a comfortable bed with large pillows and fluffy covers stamped in the same ramen motif.

Sitting her down on the edge, the boy stretched languidly, cracked his neck once, then strolled around to the far side of the bed before crawling back across it to lay his covered head across her thigh, his face turned in to her hip as he began to softly snore right off the bat.

Each and every head followed his motion, eyes wide and mouths wide ajar. Several wondered where the bed and light came from. One squeaked indignantly only to have her mouth clamped shut by Chishiki's palm as her arms flailed helplessly.

Fu-chan blushed at the intimacy but only Minato caught the undertone of… jealousy? Certainly, the older female stuck with his rock-hard noggin on her lap blushed, but it was brief and more out of familiarity than embarrassment…until she began to gently rub his back and he in turn slowly vanished from view.

There was more blinking and shocked gaping.

Naruko's eye was twitching uncontrollably but at least her arms stopped lashing out indiscriminately. The rest stared at the now partially empty bed until, one by one, their heads spun incrementally back to the now very conspicuous Uzumaki priest.

"Oh…crap. Shoulda left when I had the chance."

No sooner had the words left "Minato's" mouth, than all hell broke loose.

He was surrounded. There was yelling. He was pretty sure several of them were poking him in the chest and, at the moment, he was trying to find the nearest escape route before the pandemonium came to a screeching halt.

"SIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!"

It was another comic scene with all of them frozen mid-poke-rant-yell-flail-roar. "Minato" almost swore he could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the wall-less space.

When their heads turned this time, they were all staring at the bald monk, his face lifted almost straight up into the darkened overhead, eyes clamped firmly shut, teeth and fists clenched, and his body ramrod straight.

"Wait… you can talk?" Tai-chan choked out.

*Deep breath* "Of course I can talk. Most of the time there is no need for it but Ku-chan just put him back to bed and here you lot are trying to bring him right back out of it."

His eyes cracked open and his face rotated down to meet their incredulous stares.

"How about we take a freaking moment to speak calmly and rationally, for once?"

With that said, the stoic monk plopped down into a soggy lotus and pulled out a prayer necklace, his thumb "energetically" propelling the dark beads along as he muttered an obscure Buddhist chant asking for forbearance and endurance.

Chishiki recovered first, after hesitantly snapping his head back to make sure the robed scholar was finished, then turned to lock eyes with the blue-robed instigator of tonight's conflagration.

"Okay, now that we're calm how about you filling the rest of us into what's going on?"

"Minato" tried to wave it off and reached for his wooden sandal only to have it slapped from his hand by the dark-haired female he spent most of his time trying not to look at.

Not only was she easy on the eyes but her outfit made it… difficult to concentrate.

The fact that she was a fragment of his son's mind made it all the more disturbing. He couldn't deny, however, that she was fast.

"Do us a favor and put the crazy act aside for now. I think it's time you were honest with us for once," the blond Wudang priest commented.

Knowing there was no other way out of this, he turned to face the group of "clones" and the bijuu at the same time and took a deep breath.

"I've been here longer than any of you except for this guy," he began thumbing a digit in the direction of the Kyuubi. "You could say we moved in together. I assume you're all familiar with everything that happened that day?"

He paused long enough to ensure they were all nodding their heads in the same direction (Kemuri began shaking his head side to side before catching everyone else and shifting rapidly to a north-south motion to match). Glancing at Kyuubi only earned him an exasperated sigh.

"Well, sealing up this creature in my greatest creation was a one-way trip and I knew that. The price for burdening my son with this responsibility was my life, one I'd gladly pay again and again to save the village I loved… once upon a time."

Several of them blinked in surprise. Wasn't he the greatest defender of Konoha? Was he saying that he regretted doing what he did? Naruko wasn't the only one filing those questions away for later.

"When I sealed away the demon, my deal with the Shinigami included a request, which he approved knowing he had nothing to lose. I was allowed to anchor just a small piece of my soul, the smallest fragment of it, to the seal itself. It's not enough to do much…really. But it has allowed me to see my son grow… and suffer at the hands of a thankless people I gave everything to protect."

His voice was bitter, resentful.

"I've seen them abuse him, hurt him, try to kill him and, with each attempt, I have grown to despise them just a bit more." His eyes looked up to the great orange-red fox and sighed.

Did he see the barest hint of sympathy there? No, it's gone whatever it was, so he turned back to the history lesson and his audience.

"Tying myself to the seal matrix allows Kyuubi's chakra to replenish my soul fragment. Over time…"

"Wait! Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wait!"

Everyone looked back to the pigtailed blond in confusion.

"If you could do that, then why haven't you shown yourself? Hell, why didn't you include some of your wife's soul so that she could watch over her son? Why only you?"

"Ah, about that. I tried to save what I could of her." His eyes took on a hollow sadness. "Apparently, the Shinigami would only allow one to stay…something about keeping the balance."

"But he let you?" The blond female seemed offended…affronted even.

"He knows that he'll get my soul fragment once the boy dies finally, as the rest of me suffers eternally inside his stomach."

No one missed the painful wince on his face.

She opened her mouth to continue her interrogation only to be cut off by Chishiki's glare. Souring yet again, she chomped down on her own teeth and turned away, arms folded beneath a rather full chest.

"So, you're a real seal master," their newly-appointed leader began.

"Minato" nodded once.

"Good, then you can help us train him and drop the psycho act. It's getting old and doesn't help anyone, least of all Naruto. We will work you into the afternoon schedule next week."

The Yondaime nodded his agreement with some reluctance. It would be nice to be able to teach his son, especially with the hack job the academy did to him but he needed to be clear about something first.

"One condition and it's non-negotiable."

Chishiki only raised an eyebrow.

"Naruto never learns who I truly am," he finished with his jaw set like an iron mold.

There was immediate outrage, but it was the Kushina clone that raised a hand to silence them.

"Why should we agree to this? It's not like he won't learn of it when he processes our memories."

Minato's smirk unnerved them just a little.

"That only works if you're attached to a clone and the memories your gain transfer through the bond." He conveniently left out the part about suppressing clone memories.

"I've noticed watching you lot plot and scheme that nothing transfers while you're in here. You're all fragmented pieces of his personality, not clones tied to his chakra network so, unless the conversation comes up while you're out there," he nodded up and in some vague direction, "…it doesn't 'cross over' for lack of a better term."

His face got deadly serious.

"Fair warning, if you cross me in this, I'll throw a big enough monkey wrench in your plans to undo all your hard work and that's a promise."

The vast majority of them bristled at the threat. "You'd sabotage your own son?!" Naruko was livid and vibrating with anger.

"Yes, I would."

He was calm and sincere even in the deafening silence. More than half the faces looking back at him were clearly disgusted.

"I can make him seem crazy enough that they'd seal him up faster than a Katon jutsu during an Uchiha graduation party and lock him away deep in the Hokage Tower never to be seen again. I'd rather see him safe and harmless than fully trained and wrapped up in some crazy scheme that could get him killed."

Chishiki stepped forward and their grumbling died a slow death. "Done."

Minato blinked at the ease with which the ringleader agreed, the shock on his face indicating he clearly didn't trust any of them.

Kemuri leaned in briefly and spoke for the first time, well, other than aggravated yelling and heated threats to disembowel the disguised traitor. "Can we trust him?"

Chishiki seemed unperturbed but nodded once. It was enough for the buzz-cut shinobi at some level and the brawny copy leaned away to study Minato's avatar like a deadly viper needing to be monitored.

"It's done…for now. We have to deal with it until the situation proves otherwise." He turned back to the unknown variable.

"Now, tell us why the Kyuubi wants to rip your throat out," Chishiki continued.

Minato laughed even as he released the henge growing to his full height, blue eyes, blond hair, and all.

Kyuubi snarled and slammed against the bars one last time before laying out with a snort.

"When doesn't he want to rip my throat out? I sealed him after all."

Many of them shrugged as they couldn't dispute the claim.

"In this case, however, I tied him to his only fear." Pointing up to the metal seal he sighed, and another rumbling growl shook the water-covered ground.

"You remember that the Kyuubi is tied to the seal and limited in how he can interact with Naruto?"

They all nodded.

"Well, the Shinigami is also tied to the other end of the seal and, when Naruto dies or someone tries to rip the Bijuu out of the seal, like that…like that bastard did Naruto's mom, the Death God is going to cash in all debts and claim our souls, both what's left of mine and all of the Kyuubi's."

Chishiki's eyes nearly fell out of his head and said head whipped around to see a similar look of shock on the demon's face.

"Yeah, you get it now, don't you? No restart for the Kyuubi this time. If he escapes, something he's been trying to do since his sealing, he goes straight to the shinigami's belly to fulfill the contract I made for the sealing pact. See, the Shinigami requires two souls during a summons and I already promised mine," he thumbed at the great Youko once more, "…and his, one of the great bijuu originally immune to the Shinigami's power."

The Yondaime's normally kind face darkened.

"There was no way he was going to pass up that offer."

They all turned to stare wide-eyed at the jailed ball of rage and energy.

"Which is why he's been ignoring Naruto's attempts to bond. It's why he's been refusing to help heal him when he gets hurt. Oh, he can't completely refuse to help at all, but he can hold back over ninety-nine percent of his youki and it's time that changed."

Minato turned to glare at the stubborn creature who glowered in return.

"He simply hates the motivation I've provided."

Kurama knew his situation sucked and a great many of his bids for freedom just got wiped off the table. Basically, unless the boy opened the seal and he forcibly took control, he was doomed for life. To say things had taken a turn directly into a large lake of shit would have been a huge understatement.

He had much, much to consider.

He could stand by and let the fool get himself killed, which would mean a one-way trip to eternal torment. Conversely, he could help the meat sack get strong enough that he might be able to convince the brat to work with him and provide a little freedom, maybe even find a way to sweet-talk the Shinigami into altering the deal.

Neither one sounded enjoyable and the latter sounded downright impossible, but he was always very lucky in the long odds. Besides, he had eight other siblings he could offer up and he was only favorably attached to one of them.

Kurama was beginning to like his chances with option two.

~ Naruto's Apartment ~

Sunday late morning was shaping up to be a strange day of preparation. Naruto was bouncing nervously in one of his kitchen chairs as clones hustled about his small apartment. Lots of things were going on and he was getting tired of the angry red-headed male – SMACK! Yeah, he was getting tired of that as his right hand reached up and rubbed the back of his head.

"Getting real tired of you doing that," he grumbled.

The cross seals master with the calligraphy brush between his teeth glanced up from his fifth attempt to wipe all traces of the wasted ink from his current project, which was focused on the back of Naruto's hand, and mumbled something around the brush that sounded suspiciously like "annoying little fucker."

Naruto simply raised an eyebrow while the clone yanked the brush out of his mouth and snarled back.

"You're going to be more than annoyed if I mess this seal up because you can't sit still and I end up blowing your damn arm off."

It was delivered with deadpanned seriousness, the flat stare giving the whole "stop playing with explosive notes" sort of seriousness that made the eager blond gulp before becoming very still. For the next fifteen minutes, he sat completely rigid, which had the added benefit of allowing the Uzu lunatic to finish his work in rather short order.

There were five diamonds with an Uzushio swirl in the center and small lines of characters radiating out in six lines, three from the top and three from the bottom, located on the backs of his hands, the insteps of his feet, and one in the center of his chest right below the collar bone.

Once the clone was happy with his work, he flowed through a short set of hand seals and muttered, "Seal!" before placing his fingertips right below the diamond on Naruto's chest. It glowed softly followed by the ones located at his extremities. Soon, tendrils of ink and runes flowed out from the seals to intertwine and pulse once before vanishing from sight.

"There, the array is active now. You can increase the resistance by making this hand seal," he showed him a full ram, "…and channeling chakra into any of the seals on your body. They are tied to your tenketsu nexi so you should be able to manage."

He tapped the sheet with sequential numbers and increments before cleaning up and putting away the tricks of his trade, which were really Naruto's new tools purchased through Tai-kun since none of them actually owned anything.

"And what will this do?" Naruto was glancing at his latest acquisitions with some curiosity.

"The diamonds are resistance seals to help you train and there are twenty-four increments, four steps per seal arm, six seal arms per seal element. The numbers on that sheet spell out the different levels of resistance you can set them at. The higher the setting, the harder it is to move.

"The single arrays on your upper forearms are storage seals, small ones mind you primarily for weapons no bigger than kunai and shuriken so don't get crazy. It's not a bright idea to store massive amounts of crap in your body like a spare closet."

Naruto nodded.

Earlier before starting his sealing work, the angry redhead had shared several examples of body seals failing spectacularly when limbs got severed or when too much was packed into them. He had no desire to lose chunks of flesh when solid objects suddenly exploded from his skin.

Physical training lessons from the academy explained what he needed to know about the resistance seals. True, what few lessons they let him stick around for were boring as hell but the ones that might help him get stronger were the few lessons that he actually paid some attention to.

It never paid to show too much interest, however, as they usually found ways to kick him out, so he got really proficient at paying attention to everything without seeming to pay attention to anything.

Take for example Fuu-chan sitting across from him inspecting his gear laid out on the table.

The quiet girl was checking each piece making comments on condition, balance, construction, and any additional purposes of note, her emerald-green eyes taking in every minute blemish. Sure, the kunai was the shinobi jack of all trades but there were other uses for just about everything. While he had no reason to use senbon as modified clothes hangers, it was not a normal consideration for the tiny tool.

Now that Naruto's hands were free, he was able to join in and learn something as she continued the inspection and then showed him how to properly stow them in storage scrolls provided by the Uzu seals master.

As the three were seated at his small table, it was easy to see the blue-garbed figure hunched over his next project – he was adding storage seals to his thigh holsters – and an interesting thought struck him.

Rising from the table, he sauntered back to his bedroom and carefully lifted the end of his rickety bed before carefully setting it down six inches from where it normally rested. Prying up a loose board the bed leg was keeping down, it revealed his secret stash for all things he held of some import.

Lifting out a small shoebox, it was soon joined by twenty yellow envelopes before he replaced the board and the bed. Holding in a deep breath, he took one of the yellow packets, which were all just shorter than a kunai if not a bit wider, and pressed it against the seal on his left arm.

Applying a burst of chakra, the object disappeared with the smallest sound of air being sucked away. He paused for a count of ten just to make sure his arm didn't explode. Once he was satisfied, he applied another burst of chakra to summon it back before grabbing up everything and returning to the table.

Retaking his seat, he inscribed numbers on each package numbering now one through twenty. The first fifteen he resealed into his right arm much to the raised eyebrow interest of the crazy-eyed seals master and the curious bluenette. The other five he left alone for the moment.

Opening the small shoebox, he took out a leather rope with an amber pendant at the end leaving inside the box the stack of personal letters from Akimi. The amber always shone in the light and intrigued him back as far as he could remember, almost like it burned dimly in the sun.

That he stuck around his neck and glanced one last time at the swirled pattern at its heart. It was the only memento he had of his mother, or so old man Hokage had told him.

It was from her home, Uzushiogakure.

Moving from that bitter memory, he opened back up the cheesy book written by the Yondaime. It had actually been a wealth of information, most of the necessary stuff the clones had copied to blank scrolls and returned the original back to him. What interested him at the moment were the last four pages of the final chapter on Fuuinjutsu as they each held a single and identical seal, a high-quality storage seal array protected by Uzu blood seals.

Chishiki had been ecstatic when he discovered them (of course he read the whole book which meant, technically, so did Naruto) and the entire team had gathered around after Shin revealed why they couldn't open them; since they were just clones, they couldn't give blood to break open the seals. So, it fell to the original.

What was inside was a literal treasure trove.

The first held two large semi-pliable leather-wrapped tomes, works too large to be called simple books, and each one hand-written by the authors. The first was dyed a deep blue to match Shin's robes and bore the crest of the Royal Uzu family, a swirl encircled by a long serpent biting its own tail.

Apparently, it belonged to his mother, Kushina Uzumaki and the discovery that he was part of Uzu royalty was the first earth-shattering reveal. Sadly, it would not be the last.

The first four pages were a personal message from his mother that had been added to several times over the months of her pregnancy, a lot of motherly advice about eating right, avoiding the three shinobi vices, being wary of his godfather's perversions (oh yeah, there was a name also and oddly enough he was the guy that wrote that Gusty Ninja book), and a lot of stuff that just made his eyes tear up. The next whole chapter was dedicated to educating him on his clan history and, as much as he wanted to read it, it was all too much to bear.

The second book was white-covered and bore a weirdly pattern circular seal of the Namikaze branch of the Senju. The brief times he paid attention in Iruka's class paid off as he knew something of both the Senju and Uzumaki clans, but he'd never heard of the Namikaze other than the Fourth Hokage was one of them, a dying clan apparently. He didn't go further into the journal, but he did read the personal note, the last few pages of which were an apology for having to seal the Kyuubi into his son in order to save the village. It was hastily scrawled, as if the man was in a hurry, and rambling in a few points.

It was a complete contrast to the early pages of the personal introduction.

Those books were bombshells in many ways. All his life he'd begged the old man to tell him about his family and had been told by everyone, EVERYONE, either that he was an orphan or that they'd tell him when he was older and better able to handle the information. Looking down at the two large tomes stacked in the center of the table, he had a good guess as to why.

The Yondaime was his favorite Kage after all and he'd made some powerful enemies, namely the entire hidden village of Iwagakure.

Given how hated he was in Konoha for being the "demon brat," he could only guess the shitstorm that would drop once Iwa learned their deadliest enemy had a son and that he was all alone and hated within his own village.

Despite common knowledge, he wasn't an idiot.

He'd put up a good front to convince folks that he was mentally challenged but it wasn't really a stretch. True, he wasn't the best at studying, but his clones helped a lot with that now and he could finally catch up. He learned better doing things, but these books held promises of teaching him clan secrets, things that would help him later and that meant they were important.

It was something to take seriously.

They were his inheritance along with the matched pair of blood-red samurai swords in the second seal. Those made him smile. He'd have to find someone to teach him kenjutsu at some point.

Taking the box holding the blades and the family tomes in hand, he resealed them into the pocket-sized book he liked to call, Shinobi for Dummies, right before he sealed it into his right forearm with the yellow envelopes filled with Ryu, twenty-thousand each.

He'd added the three scrolls from the Hokage's library to the third seal of the book (the last two were empty) earlier in the day so that meant they were fairly safe until he could come up with a better storage option.

Dumping the letters from the shoebox into a small metal trash can, he summoned a clone, handed it a box of matches and a small bottle of lighter fluid.

It gave him one look as if to ask, "Are you sure?" before nodding once and heading outside. The eight other copies in the room were oddly silent during this.

Four of the remaining envelopes of cash he stuffed into the bottom of his travel pack. The last one he split up between his wallet, Gama-chan¸ and five thousand to Tai-kun to get take out for lunch. For all of them.

Naruto then set about storing his excess kunai and shuriken to the seal on his left forearm. He'd load enough for a C-rank in his thigh holsters for now. If the storage seals Shin was adding to those were any indication, he'd be able to pack away enough for a small army one day.

He'd just socked away half of his excess shuriken when the room began to spin. He could hear chanting in some weird language he didn't understand and then there was the smell of rotten eggs and black smoke.

He swayed in his seat before something began pulling on his stomach.

Then everything went black.

Everyone else left in the apartment blinked as the tendrils of black smoke fell from the chair Naruto was just sitting in and onto the floor. It was heavy and foul-smelling.

As several clones sprang up to search around the apartment, Shin began snickering. Fuu-chan glared at him not seeing the humor but that only made him go from snickering to giggling. Before anyone could slap the back of his head, the fool began cackling uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" the angry blond female shot out.

Then they all exploded into puffs of angry smoke, the Ryu in Tai's hand falling to the apartment floor in fluttering sheaves amidst his order taking.

~III~

~ Hokage Complex in the ANBU Interrogation Cells ~

Hiruzen Sarutobi watched the maniacal shouting of the chained figure through one-way reinforced glass, his sagging shoulders draped by the stringy bluish-silver mop of hair. His limbs had been buried under layers of bindings and seals. The room itself had been layered in chakra restriction, absorption, and redirection seals.

It was with good reason after all, since the former academy instructor had nearly escaped last night injuring several guards in the process of releasing his cursed seal.

Mizuki had proven himself very dangerous even under guard hence the added levels of protection. It was also a good enough reason for the medic nins to not fully heal him when he came back to his cell battered to bare levels of consciousness.

Hiruzen entered the room with Ibiki, Anko, and a pair of elite ANBU guards, Mizuki's eyes zeroing in on the Hokage and following him until he stood directly across from the small metal table and against the far wall. The bruises stood out clearly on his lowered head in opposition to the otherworldly fire in his deviant eyes.

"Hehe…to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

When he obtained no reaction from the old man, his eyes began to flicker back and forth to the other people in the cramped office. All of them, except for Anko, had stood against the stone wall, arms hanging calmly at their sides with stoned faces.

Something was… off?

Anko was moving around off to his left side, unfurling something at the end of the table giving off metal clinking sounds as his eyes began to frantically search the faces of the other four figures silently glaring at him. Their apathy sent off silent alarms in the back of his mind and set his pulse to racing.

Nervously, Mizuki licked cracked lips as his fear spiked uncontrollably.

"Say something…"

No one budged.

"What?! What do you want from me?!"

He heard the brief sound of leather tightening before a gloved fist shook the room and made his vision blur.

Iron. He could taste the blood welling up in his mouth and he spit it out to his left catching the woman's shin guard. He heard the soft plinking of a tooth as it bounced off the once pristine metal and was promptly rewarded with three blows to his stomach and ribs.

That last one came with the sound of something crunching.

"I already told you…," he sputtered out weakly. "O…Orochi…maru."

That was a mistake and he paid for it with more teeth.

She was pulling her punches meaning this was going to be a long night. He coughed for a few moments before gasping out another question of what they wanted from him. It sounded almost like a desperate plea as the angry kunoichi rained blows on him, each one carefully tailored to stress but not break his body.

Barely holding on to his awareness, his head lolling weakly to one side, he glared hatefully up to the old man who matched his stare with one of his own. After many minutes, the impassive ancient known as the God of Shinobi, the Master of the Second Shinobi War, turned to the female standing drenched in Mizuki's blood and spoke two words that shook Mizuki's soul.

"Break him."

Mizuki's eyes, well, only the one worked at the moment, popped open as three of the four left the room. Ibiki, the bastard, simply folded his arms as he settled in to watch.

The last thing Mizuki saw was the demonic smile from the beautiful yet gore-spattered kunoichi as she lifted metal-studded gloves dripping with his blood.

Then the pain really began.

Oh, how Mizuki hated the snake wench.

~III~

~ Unknown Location…Konoha? ~

When the smoke and nausea cleared, Naruto found himself in a very unfamiliar situation. Reflexively reaching for his missing thigh holsters, the fresh Genin swore softly before turning his attention outward.

The room he was in was large, far bigger than his apartment living room, and dimly lit by three candles spread out on the wide-open floor around him.

A quick glance showed the candles resting at three points on an enormous seal of some sort drawn on the wooden planks in chalk, not ink. There was a large central circle with odd symbols along the outer edge, another circle just after that, then the six points of the star-like spikes attached to the outer circle. There also appeared to be some white crystalline substance poured in a circle just inside the inner ring of the seal. The last thing he noted with the seal, which admittedly held his attention, was a bowl of blood at one pointed spike, some odd claws piled at another corner, and a mostly naked girl wearing a silky looking loin cloth with strips of the same material covering her nearly-exposed chest seated at the final point directly in front of him.

He blinked.

She blinked back.

Then a bunch of excited chatter erupted just over her shoulder as two more women dressed identically to the one seated on the floor stepped into view, one of which held a large, hard-cover tome open as she and the third girl chattered animatedly while pointing and flipping through its pages.

His eyes switched from them to the woman sitting lotus and she jerked to attention, her hands frantically clasping together in a seal he'd never seen before with the pointer fingers on both hands forming a steeple. The rest were knotted together in a rather complex tangle.

She then began chanting in that same odd language he'd heard before and his body flushed with energy while his vision blurred.

Lifting one of his hands to cradle his brow, he paused seeing that the seals added by Shin were glowing brightly, a blaring light blue color. So was the large blood-red seal on his abdomen and the prisoner in his gut was thrashing about angry in his cage.

It was as he saw the seal pulse in and out of existence that he noticed a fourth woman laying flat on the floor between his legs, her garb similar to the other three except she was missing the strips of cloth covering her rather full breasts and her arms were reaching up as if in a welcoming embrace.

Shocked as he was, he leaped back and away from her and hit something solid, something that scorched his back and made him hiss in pain. Once the jolt pushed him forward, he fell to his knees before landing face-first onto the girl's chest, her arms wrapping around his head and locking him in place with a gleeful squeal.

She smelled overwhelmingly of incense and it was starting to give him a headache.

Twisting his face around in the smothering embrace of squishy female flesh, he looked back to see what had struck him only to see more open space. It made no sense. Whatever he hit felt solid.

The girl latching onto his head twisted him back around to smother him once again and began planting kisses on his forehead.

"Wmmph?"

She only giggled excitedly as he struggled feebly shouting out, "Begin the ritual before he can break free! We must have his power!"

Her legs clamped around his lower back locking him into place and Naruto's eyes bulged from up between the mounds of her chest.

Over her nearly insane smile, he could see the seated girl frantically chanting in that foreign tongue, her hands clamped firmly together as her whole body began to perspire and shake with effort.

"Ano," one of the other two began, "…are we sure he is the right demon? He looks fairly…plebian, nothing like this image of the Kitsune Lord."

Her pretty face was wrinkled up in confusion and he felt… insulted. He didn't know what "plebian" meant but it didn't sound very flattering.

The taller girl with the tome was nodding her head fiercely.

"We used the right summons for a demon lord and he responded so that means he's the closest. Maybe he's in disguise still?"

Naruto could hear the Bijuu roaring in his head along with the eight clone personalities asking to be let out. He was glad that they were with him, however, he opted to keep some things secret from these obviously deranged women and began trying to pry her arms from around his head (with little success since fanatics appeared to be insanely strong).

"Well, we don't have enough materials for another summons so it's either we try this, or we let him go and try to seduce another summons later," the one restraining him proffered.

For several long moments the two outside the circle debated this, the one latched onto his body lifting her face up to see their decision, before the smaller one chewed her lower lip and nodded.

"The seals on his body are too advanced to be anything but containment seals. We'll drain his power taking it into ourselves and then we'll be strong enough to start our cult with him as our figurehead. Begin the process."

The girl laying on the floor squealed with rapture as her head snapped back to gloat at her captive "demon lord" only to see one of the floor pillows smashed to her bosom. When she looked up in surprise, she saw the angry red eyes of her subject…

'Wait…weren't they blue before?'

...as he chucked another pillow directly at the girl chanting at the circle's head. It struck her hard enough to bowl her over and break her seal as the faces of the two standing behind her snapped up in shock.

Without pausing, their blond subject bolted from the circle, and out of the door he'd spied in the far corner.

It didn't take long to find an exit and bolt to the nearest rooftop, several screeching female voices fading behind him. A quick glance confirmed he was still in Konoha albeit in a different section of the slums. One thing to count on, no one pays attention to odd smells and sounds in this part of town.

Back inside, one of the females looked at the open door leading to their common area with heavy sighs.

"Okay, next time no foreign objects in the barrier," one of them opined while the others nodded in various states of depression. They were soo close!

"How long before we can gather enough materials to try again? I don't want to give up on this one."

The taller one with the book pulled a scrap of parchment from another section of the book and frowned.

"At least two months before the claws can be gathered. Foxes are extremely rare in Konoha, so we need to head north into the forest to find more."

Their leader nodded resolutely.

"Let's get started then." They began peeling off their strips of cloth heading for the group bath. Time to start all over again.

Outside and pushing chakra to his legs, Naruto got his bearings and went rooftop to rooftop working his way back home. Since he was out, he guessed it was time to revisit Madame Ai and re-establish their agreement, something he could now manage much easier with clones.

No telling when he'd start making money as a Genin, so he'd need something to tide him over with his orphan stipend ending. He could hear the voices in his head debating how to prevent another summoning sneak attack, most of them apparently focused on Shin who claimed he had something that might do the trick.

This weekend had been extremely weird, to say the least.

~ Naruto's Apartment – Early the Next Morning ~

Naruto was sleeping erratically, his dreams a jumbled mess and currently filled with naked women swimming in large bowls of ramen. Their faces were the same four from his mini-adventure but it was the noodly goodness that called out to him.

His sleeping form swiped at the air above his bed trying to shove a giggling body out of the way so he could reach a pair of chopsticks. Asleep as he was he didn't sense the figure standing next to his bed staring impassively at the alarm clock.

The clock chimed its cheerful chirping beep only to get smashed by the same groggy hand searching for eating implements a moment before. The figure standing next to the bed counted to zero back from ten before a bulging vein appeared on his neatly coiffured forehead.

With a snarl, he bent at the knees, gripped the edge of the bed frame, then heaved flipping it – and its contents – onto the hardwood floor.

"Aaaah! Enemy attack! Man the walls! Repel all boarders! Alert the ANBU!"

A still groggy but now wide-awake Naruto climbed out from under the bed frame to come face to face with a highly polished pair of boots. Blinking still bleary eyes as they panned up to the clenched jaw and red face of the militant clone, Naruto tried his best to present a sheepish smile to break the ice.

The bulky chakra construct smiled back but it carried no warmth. "Morning, princess. Sleep well, did we?"

Naruto nodded back pleasantly. The clone's face immediately morphed into one of rage as he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"On yer feet, maggot! How dare you keep me waiting?! Weren't you supposed to be poppin' tall and rarin' to go at zero-five? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?!"

Naruto struggled out from under his bed and glanced at the clock that now read zero-five-zero-three and gulped.

The clone continued unabated clearly not expecting a coherent response.

"You have exactly two minutes to guss-up and meet me on the street, maggot! Do. NOT. Keep. Me. Waiting!"

As Naruto scrambled about in a frenzy, he began to wonder exactly what the hell he'd signed up for. Whatever lay in store, this would be the last time he kept the angry PTSD victim waiting on him.

~III~

Omake: Secret Admirer

Hinata Hyuuga sighed as she trudged woodenly back to her private chambers. It had been another miserable function with drunken and slovenly people of importance courting her father in an attempt to win a political alliance through marriage. Things had progressed much too fast for her liking and it appeared an accord would have been made through the politician from the capital, someone from the Harada clan if she remembered correctly. It was bad enough that the slimy lecher kept trying to grope her but that her father noticed and did nothing to prevent it was…

Her face flushed at the angry thoughts and hatred towards the clan head. It was supposed to be her duty to her clan, to her family. She was not supposed to rail against her fate.

There was that hateful word again.

She sighed yet again as she slid open the door to her room and darted inside before anyone else could try to corner her. She was grateful for the fuuinjutsu-reinforced wooden walls to her room. This was her haven. This was her sanctuary and second-favorite place to be. Protected from peeking by the Byakugan of her family, save from her father, she finally released her rage…and wept, the dark bangs of her lustrous hair just enough to cover her lavender eyes.

It wasn't fair! If only she could be stronger, more confident… like him. Her eyes darted to the class picture from the beginning of her final year and immediately found a familiar patch of golden sunlight. Her pace quickened as she wiped the tears from her eyes and lowered the frame as it wouldn't do for him to see her in a state of undress.

Sighing once again, she slipped her obi off along with her kimono leaving them in her nearby hamper. Someone would come for them tomorrow but tonight she needed to soak in her tub and steam away the misery of tonight's meal. The memories still stung a bit too much.

Her father hadn't protested the vulgar man's advances until he'd asked how much to spend the night with this one…and the cute little sister. Before anyone knew what was happening, there was a flash as Hiashi Hyuuga's Byakugan activated and the drunken fool was plastered up against the wall of the formal dining room.

Most tried to placate the angry clan head and ignored her. Only a few sent her commiserating glances for her suffering and, despite how much she loved her hateful family, that stinging offense of the evening still rankled the normally docile kunoichi.

He never even congratulated her for passing the final exam only chiding her not to embarrass the clan in the mediocre performance of her duties to come.

She hadn't even remembered washing before sliding into the steaming bath but, as she slipped beneath the warm waters, her deep-seated sigh at its embrace filled the steamy room. As she soaked in the luxurious heat, her eyes drifted closed only to fill her mind's eyes with rosy images of the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen floating above the cutest pair of cheek whiskers.

Before too long, her hands began to wander as she lost herself in Naruto-World, her favorite place to be.

~III~