A/N: Okay, thought I was out of the build-up phase and on to the action, but I forgot a very important step dealing with the clones. Things should progress faster now that this is out of the way, and, by default, this will (over time) address the majority of the OCs and why they're there. Keep in mind, the earlier sections of the book are disjointed because Naruto's mind is disjointed. We're slowly putting things back to normal.

Zabzab: We now begin the official transition from OC-centric writing (to establish backdrop) to focusing on our protagonist (Naruto).

Thor94: Never fear. This story is about Naruto, but I needed enough filler to set the stage first and show how the story would differ from canon. The intent is to parallel the original story but not duplicate it, obviously given the whole instability plot with the odd carbon copies.

Back to the story then.

~Siva'a-tasi

~III~

Edited 25 JAN 2019 for clarity and flow. Sometimes it's nice to have a day off and just write.

A/N Jan2020: For those losing heart in this story because they don't understand what's going on, I will provide the following hint:

Familiarize yourself with the first Hangover movie (I never watched the second or third movie). This story is written under the same premise meaning that the MC's life is missing several critical pieces and spends the vast majority of it re-assembling his life. The clones at the beginning are merely a symptom of a larger problem.

I hope this helps clear up the "fractured pace" of the story and provides a larger backdrop to help you understand why it's written the way it is.

Chapter 5: No Pain, No Gain

~ Previously on No More…

The clock chimed its cheerful chirping beep only to get smashed by the same groggy hand searching for eating implements a moment before. The figure standing next to the bed counted to zero back from ten before a bulging vein appeared on his neatly coiffured forehead. With a snarl, he bent at the knees, gripped the edge of the bed frame, then heaved flipping it – and its contents – onto the hardwood floor.

"Aaaah! Enemy attack! Man the walls! Repel all boarders! Alert the ANBU!" A still groggy but now wide-awake Naruto climbed out from under the bed frame to come face to face with a highly polished pair of boots. Blinking still bleary eyes as they panned up to the clenched jaw and red face of the militant clone, Naruto tried his best to present a sheepish smile to break the ice.

The bulky chakra construct smiled back but it carried no warmth. "Morning, princess. Sleep well, did we?"

Naruto nodded back pleasantly. The clone's face immediately morphed into one of rage as he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"On yer feet, maggot! How dare you keep me waiting?! Weren't you supposed to be poppin' tall and rarin' to go at zero-five? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?!"

Naruto struggled out from under his bed and glanced at the clock that now read zero-five-zero-three and gulped.

The clone continued unabated clearly not expecting a coherent response.

"You have exactly two minutes to guss-up and meet me on the street, maggot! Do. NOT. Keep. Me. Waiting!"

As Naruto scrambled about in a frenzy, he began to wonder exactly what the hell he'd signed up for. Whatever lay in store, this would be the last time he kept the angry PTSD victim waiting on him.

~III~

~ Monday Morning, Week 1: Outskirts of Konoha…Somewhere ~

He'd finally made it to the street outside his apartment despite still being in a state of shock. Without knowing why he was standing at rigid attention, Naruto stood "locked-up" waiting patiently for the irrational clone to stop glaring at his wristwatch. Too tired to even ponder how the clone even had one when no one else did, he simply accepted it and pushed on as the furrowed eyebrows before him opened up to show a pair of steely deep blues and a firmly clenched jaw hard enough to chew stone.

"For every minute you make me wait, I add another lap around Konoha. Today, you made me wait an extra seven and a half minutes so that means eight extra spins around the zoo, cupcake."

Naruto couldn't believe he was about to do this, but he calmly raised his hand as if asking permission to speak at the academy. He didn't know why but it just felt…safe?

The angry clone nodded once. Sharply.

"Ano…shouldn't that only be seven and a half laps then?"

The teenage drill sergeant snapped right up into his face looking for all the world like his tomato-colored head was going to explode.

"We are men of action! The easy way, and those that follow it, is beneath us! Are you suggesting that we take the easy way and give less than what is owed?!"

He could only shake his head meekly at the obvious trap. His teacher for the morning made what would become his most dreaded seal of the day (a half-Ram hand seal) before pulsing a short blast of chakra into Naruto's chest. The entire string of kanji tied to the lower spike of his resistance seal glowed a bright orange before tendrils snaked out across his body engaging the seal array. Gulping as he felt the world weighing down on his limbs and back, the blond Genin could only sigh in relief that the other five spires of the diamond array hadn't been engaged.

He didn't think he could stand under that much weight.

"Move it, cupcake!"

With a heavy sigh, he began plodding down the street towards the south gate leading out of the Red-Light District before hanging a sharp left near its precipice and hugging the inside of the wall.

That scene played over and over again in his head as Naruto struggled along just under an hour later. He didn't have enough moisture in his mouth to spit with since it was all over his face, neck, chest, pretty much everywhere in the form of sweat. Everything burned.

Sadly enough, his red-faced tormentor seemed fresh as a daisy.

"Give it a rest, cupcake!"

Naruto stopped on a dime, which wasn't hard as he was only moving about one kilometer an hour by this point. Swaying briefly on his feet, the heavily-puffing shinobi sank to his knees and slowly walked his upper body out until he was lying facedown on the trampled grass.

"Ten minutes then we move on to the first exercise." The clone stalked off to lean casually against a tree, his arms folded as he glared at the nearly unconscious male.

Oh, the horrible things he wanted to do to his torturer. If only Naruto had the strength…

As warmth began to flood back into his throbbing limbs, Naruto briefly wondered if he could duck in to hug the Kyuubi. He'd been told that the great fox had agreed to help by healing him through his training tribulations, but he'd laughed that off in a fit of near hysteria. He'd been trying for years to get the cantankerous feather duster to even acknowledge him without success. To hear that he was willing to help, pfft! Not gonna happen.

But to actually feel the beast's youki being purified into the usable youki-chakra mix through the seal before flooding out to soothe his destroyed body was nigh heavenly. The fur bag had come through after all.

Too bad he could also hear the clone approaching before his body was done recovering and, with a sigh, rolled his head over enough to stare at that same hateful pair of polished boots.

"You took twenty-three minutes longer than our allotted hour to complete your laps. That means our lost time will need to come out of your sparring window as physical development cannot suffer for your softness."

Naruto only glared up spitefully.

"On your feet, maggot!"

What followed next was a brutal gauntlet of calisthenics: push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, squats, inverted sit-ups (while hanging by his feet from a tree branch with Kemuri's handy motivator – a rope tied to his ankles), more push-ups, short sprints, tumbling and acrobatics, plus flipping over large rocks – or throwing ones that were too small to flip over - with his hands as a bonus.

When Kemuri finally let him stop, he promptly turned on a dime and staggered back up the street to his home where he flopped down in the entryway fully preparing to pass out. Only Kemuri reminding him to create the other clones kept him from doing so immediately.

"This will never do." Ku-chan nodded to the other two female clones. "Please get him cleaned up while I prepare a big breakfast."

Pushing chakra into their arms, the two females hefted a limp limb apiece dragging the equally noodly body into the bathroom. About ten minutes later, Naruto's girlish scream echoed through the apartment much to Kemuri's satisfied chuckle.

A very red-faced and very wide-awake shinobi settled in at the breakfast table five minutes later, his head lowered and unable to meet the eyes of either of the smirking female clones.

~ Still Monday Morning, Naruto's Apartment ~

Naruto sighed in contentment. Warm chakra continued to circulate throughout his exhausted limbs, and now he had a belly full of good food even if it wasn't the food of the gods. He watched numbly in gratitude as the beautiful redhead took his plate and cup away. His eyes lingered on her back and, somewhere in the back of his head, he wondered if this was what it could be like to have a mother figure in his life.

Before he could dwell too long on that spark, Chishiki cleared his throat to gain his attention.

Turning back to the table, his eyes were drawn to a stack of folded parchment sheets connected by a half dozen lockable rings. There had to be three or four dozen sheets clipped together, the steel rings allowing for the addition of more pages as the collected knowledge of the group grew over time.

"This tome represents the sum of our collective knowledge," the chakra construct began. "Each of us will maintain a section so long as we are with you so that you can keep what we've gained."

Naruto looked up with concern. "You guys are my clones so you're not going anywhere, right?"

Chishiki smiled but chose to move on with his presentation choosing to ignore the question.

"The first section belongs to Kemuri-kun." He flipped open the cover showing a page with the Uzu royal seal, each swirl of the design held the kanji for the clone's name and a page number. Unfortunately, the only section with an actual number yet was the first one as the remaining pages had yet to be decided. "You may or may not be the one to finalize these." The long-haired priest looked up with another gentle smile. "We'll play that by ear, won't we?"

Then they flew through each section so he was familiar with the content but, for the short time slot given to the sedate clone, it all came back to the second chunk containing his school lessons with Chishiki.

"The goal here isn't to make us a super scholar. That will eventually fall to you. No, our task is to repair, with as much fidelity as possible, the years of academic neglect involved in your education. Our sessions will consist of two parts. The first section will always contain something practical that you can apply to daily life. The second will be a very focused piece of knowledge useful to shinobi."

Chishiki turned to the first topic of the day and Naruto's eyes closed halfway with annoyance immediately.

Opening up the first tri-folded sheet, lines upon lines of neat script reinforced with immaculately placed diagrams spelled out how to manage one's finances. Despite his abhorrence of math, the lesson actually progressed quickly so long as Chishiki broke it up into manageable chunks beginning with personal, moving on to single-family concerns, then ending up with Clan Financial Management combined with an introductory lesson on investments. Chishiki was very careful to use examples Naruto could relate to, such as planning ahead to deal with food shortages (using ramen as a key planning factor) or maintenance and cost upkeep for standard shinobi equipment.

Before he knew it, Naruto's eyes were being directed to the next tri-fold holding a medical layout of the human body surrounded by two circles, each circle holding sequentially smaller circles of different colors. The subject matter alone was enough to perk his interest – it was all about chakra. They spent the next half hour talking about what it was, where it came from, how to make it grow, how to gain better control, which sources were trainable, why other sources were beyond the reach of most people, and which types of chakra were superior or inferior to each other.

It was everything he'd missed in school condensed into a helpful study guide he could read through in fifteen minutes or so. When they finished, the questioning shock on his face brought a chuckle from Chishiki's whole body. Without answering he pointed to a stack of books that Tai-kun was hefting in preparation to returning them to the library.

"It's amazing what you can find at the library if you're patient and know what you're looking for." Naruto's wide-eyed blinking as the truth sunk in was good enough for the scholarly clone. The boy would never see that shinobi library in the same dismal light after today and that was more important to Chishiki than rote memorization.

Teach a man to fish, they say…

"Your lessons with Keihatsu-kun will build upon this basic information so I highly recommend that you review it before his time and periodically thereafter to keep the information fresh. It will make things simpler once we have determined your chakra affinities."

Naruto nodded in grim determination.

"I will attempt to group subject matter together to make review simpler, so more advanced chakra topics will appear near this sheet." Chishiki folded his hands peacefully into his lap, his lotus calm and relaxed. "Questions, Apex-sama?"

Naruto blinked in shock and responded with, "My name's Naruto."

The top knot bobbed once in response.

"This is true, however, among multiple copies, which you have the ability to produce, it is simpler for clones to refer to you this way than Naruto-sama, The Boss, The Original, or any other title. This is especially true considering our goal is to make you the Apex Shinobi, a hunter among our kind. To achieve a dream is to first believe in your ability to do so as well as to visualize what that end state will be. You cannot see yourself as anything less than the best ANBU the Land of Fire has ever seen, the penultimate hunter among the elite." The long-haired blond leaned in conspiratorially. "And you have very stiff competition at the top of that list."

Naruto nodded knowing exactly who sat at the top of that list. Itachi Uchiha.

As Chishiki floated up to his feet, he was promptly replaced by Naruko holding two Bentos. A brief blush colored his cheeks as his face dropped to dig in for lunch, but the rowdy blond smacked him across the back of the head.

"Oi!" he railed indignantly but she would not back down.

"Since when are you shy?" she challenged.

He blinked back in confusion.

"You think you won't have to deal with a naked female at some point during a mission? You think you won't walk in on your teammates, should you have a female one, and have to deal with a bare breast or bottom?" Her face wrinkled up in disapproval.

"You need to get over this meekness if you hope to have a chance at infiltration, which I remind you," she angrily poked his chest with a finger to accentuate each word, "…Is. A. Shinobi's. Bread. And. Butter!"

They chewed quietly as she talked. Some of the material was benign, like when she thought it useful to use a henge or even his improved transformation, which was solid. Other times, they talked about more traditional disguises such as using make-up and wigs, things she'd had Tai-kun pull out of the library by the dozens until she'd whittled it all down to a high-quality guide.

A lot of it was subjective since the only real experience he had to work with came from his early years of pranking. He glanced through her section which already had a large number of reference pages, to include surveillance, stealth, lock picking, and traps, all skills he'd used to effective purpose terrorizing ANBU. Some other stuff she'd pulled out of reference, to include wirework, sleight of hand, pick-pocketing, Gili suits (and other natural-looking camouflage), plus other examples of low-tech infiltration used by old school ninja before chakra overtook the profession. By the time, she'd wrapped up her first session, they had finished the Bentos and Naruko had yanked him to his feet, snatched up both of his hands, and plastered them to her rather large…assets.

Before his face could burst several blood vessels, she grabbed his cheeks and locked eyes with him.

"Every morning after your training with Kemuri, Fuu-chan and I are going to be showering with you until you get over being around naked females. You lock up on a mission and we're all gonzo, get me?"

He nodded dumbly.

"It helps if you remember I'm just a chakra copy of you. If you see all women like that, you'll be less likely to freeze up if a pretty face flashes you a little cleavage." She slapped his hands away and picked up the empty Bentos before flashing a bright smile and heading off to the kitchen.

Naruto, despite holding it together for an hour with the headstrong female persona, passed out and thumped loudly to the floor.

"Wow, nice bounce on that one," commented the raven-haired Fuu. Holding out her palm to the blonde, "I won. You owe me two red bean buns."

Naruko giggled and reached into the unconscious boy's wallet handing over a few hundred Ryu.

When the dazed original opened his eyes to the gently slapping palm of Keihatsu, the bald clone smiled until his eyes disappeared and helped him sit up, one palm holding up the still mostly-full Gama-chan.

"You may want to stay conscious around your clones, Apex-sama."

Naruto nodded and stuffed the wallet back into a thigh pocket as the monk fluttered down into a lotus position. Naruto noticed a very contented Fuu munching happily on fresh buns, sharing one with the still Cheshire-like Naruko. He quickly turned back to his next lesson.

"Now that we are all awake, let us talk about chakra and how to manage it. You remember your earlier lesson?"

Naruto nodded even as he accepted a fresh cup of tea from Ku-chan with thanks.

"Good." The monk opened up his palm and held out a leaf for Naruto to take up.

"Please demonstrate the leaf floating exercise."

Setting down the tea, Naruto held his hand palm up and focused chakra into its center. It wasn't a complicated exercise. They'd spent an hour outside at the academy picking leaves and working on this basic chakra control exercise. Naruto, considering it a waste of time in his second year, never picked it up afterward, instead trying to get instructors to teach him incredibly awesome jutsu, which never happened due to his unlikable status.

His lack of practice clearly showed.

The leaf wobbled and drifted across his palm. Sometimes it would spin left, slow, then reverse direction but never stayed in one spot nor spun with purpose or precision.

Keihatsu was not pleased.

"Apex-sama."

Naruto looked up as he concentrated on the leaf in his palm.

"How do you plan to master high-level jutsu if you cannot master the basics?"

The leaf settled on his palm as the boy's face twisted up into irritation.

"This stuff was boring back in school. I just don't see the point of it when I have soo much chakra that I can't control it anyway!"

Keihatsu merely shook his head in disappointment.

"You're giving up."

The spiky blond mop across from his shook violently from side to side. "NEVER!"

"But you already have. You just did." The monk's face was serene in his condemnation.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Are you?" The monk's calm eyes flickered down to the original's clenched fist.

Naruto blinked at the recrimination, opened then closed his mouth a few times, then glanced down to the crushed leaf in his fisted palm.

He'd sworn to give it his best as his part of the agreement. They'd sworn to help him relearn what he should have learned during his time at the academy. In reality, all he'd done all day was to question and balk at their efforts. Even now, as he flailed at the leaf floating exercise, all he'd done was to give a half-hearted effort.

He'd half-assed his own nindo. It was an epiphany, of sorts, but Keihatsu's face showed that he understood.

Realizing he'd jumped to his feet during his outburst, the substantially subdued Genin folded back down into a lotus and summoned a fresh clone. It darted out of the apartment only to return a few minutes later with a hand full of fresh leaves. Setting them down in front of the original, the clone took one for himself and plopped down right along next to the new Apex-sama and silently began the same exercise.

Chishiki nodded and Naruto took up another leaf and began focusing on keeping it centered in his palm.

"While we train together, you will summon ten clones for each indoor session. Once you have mastered this basic skill, we will move on to more advanced applications." The clone gently tapped the still open novel they were working on to indicate his section and the notes within.

Wordlessly, Naruto summoned nine more copies and they all took up a leaf. Soon, the living room was abuzz with the sound of chakra humming and leaves fluttering on invisible currents. Keihatsu, for his part, began a sing-song monotone as he explained why better chakra control was needed.

Wasteful usage of chakra depletes your supply needlessly running the risk of leaving you defenseless before the enemy. By honing your control, your offensive and defensive jutsus not only became more powerful but allow you to use them more often. With higher levels of control, you gain the ability to learn more complex jutsus and, short of requiring a kekkei genkai, allow you to develop your individual chakra affinities (yes, you can learn more than one, however, we will address that in another lesson) or enable you to learn rarer skills like medical ninjutsu.

Naruto nodded once as sweat beaded his brow in concentration, but he never took his eyes off the leaf hovering gently in the middle of his palm.

Near the end of their session, Keihatsu-kun asked him to dispel the extra clones in groups of two or three then asked him to repeat the leaf floating exercise. Glancing down at his palm, he was pleased to note that the leaf no longer wandered even if it slowly rotated in random directions. Smiling broadly, he happily proclaimed that he could master this by the middle of the week at this rate only to have Keihatsu hold up his own palm with a stack of leaves piled in the center.

Slowly, he brought each of his digits to the stack, touching each one lightly to a leaf before pulling away with a single green sheaf stuck to each fingertip. When there was one leaf left in the center of his palm and one attached to the tip of every finger, he began to spin them all in the same direction before reversing it. To add insult to injury, he then began spinning them all in alternating rotations. Each leaf stayed exactly where it was applied regardless of its gyrations.

Naruto's jaw sprung open as if it was spring-loaded.

"Apex-sama, when you can do this on each hand you will have mastered this exercise and we can move on."

As the monk closed his hand into a fist and calmly walked away, Naruto glared forlornly at the sole greenage in his calloused palm. He had a lot of work to do this week.

Dinner was a simple curry affair with rice, miso soup, and green tea. The other clones had been absorbed so that the knowledge of the day could get reinforced into Naruto's swollen brain. Instead, he sat with Fuu-chan and Ku-onee-chan and talked quietly. Fuu showed him his finished holsters and went over how to apply chakra to push out the tool he needed, be it a kunai or a shuriken. He really didn't have a need for senbon but didn't throw the idea out altogether since Ku-onee-chan's discussion centered mostly around medical topics and general first aid.

Senbon felt clumsy in his hands, too easy to lose or break, and his mind began to throw up alternatives to the item better reserved for acupuncture and medical pain relief.

Sometimes they joked with each other, sometimes they spoke of the future, just like he used to do with…

He let that thought go. No use reminiscing over what was lost. With a sigh, he rose to gather the dishes despite Ku-chan's objections and made it as far as the sink before a knock sounded at the door. Popping off a normal clone, the other two disappeared with a wink as the door opened then closed shortly thereafter. Before he could turn around to see who had come to visit, the clone dispersed showing a message from the office of the Hokage.

Wiping his hands dry on a towel, he cracked open the scroll and frowned at his latest summons.

He was to meet weekly with Inoichi Yamanaka every Wednesday at one in the afternoon. With a heavy sigh, he set the scroll aside, generated ten more clones to start their nightly patrol of the Red-Light District, then went back to the dishes.

Meeting weekly with a mind walker was never a pleasant prospect.

~ Hokage Mansion, the Hokage's Office ~

Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded as the boar-faced ANBU vanished in a swirl of leaves and wind.

"You're sure this will work, Inoichi?" The younger clan head nodded as he replaced his steaming teacup on the saucer atop the Hokage's desk.

"Of course, Hokage-sama. My clan has used these techniques to help restore fractured minds before. We simply need to proceed with deliberate care lest we risk a catastrophic schism. Should that happen then the boy would be lost irreparably."

The Sandaime's gaze took in the light rain of the evening on the streets below, people sporting umbrellas and dashing for the safety of warm hearths and homes. "How long then until he's…," he struggled for the appropriate word, "…corrected?"

"We can safely reintegrate one per week. Anything faster introduces uncontrollable factors I'd rather avoid. The short answer would be eight weeks, barring C-rank or greater missions, from the time we start and based on what I've seen from that first walk."

"What about the Kyuubi?" the elder asked with clear concern.

Inoichi shook his head dismissively, "He appears to be isolated from directly impacting the boy's mind although he maintains the guard on certain sectors. I should be working far enough from his seal for it not to be much of an issue." Hiruzen seemed skeptical but had to defer to the specialist.

"Very well but I'd make your intentions clear to the beast first. There's no telling what could set it off or change its mind concerning its historical lack of involvement."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." With a bow, Inoichi took one last swig of tea before vacating the office. He had much to prepare before their first session in two days.

The Hokage turned back to the window after Inoichi's departure with a heavy heart and sigh to match. "Oh, Minato-kun. How I have failed you."

~ Tuesday Morning, Still Week 1 ~

Naruto plodded along his course, this time in the opposite direction. The morning had begun (fortunately) on time as he'd set his alarm fifteen minutes earlier and created a second clone when he'd spawned Kemuri the night before. This lucky contestant had the specific task of making sure he was awake and moving before the angry action figure clone could.

He made an additional mental note to get himself out of bed before said clone could douse him with another blast of cold water. Waking to the sensation of drowning in a frozen lake was not pleasant even if it did work.

While Chishiki and the gang were adjusting the Wednesday schedule to accommodate the shrink session, Naruto's mind was trying to focus on anything other than placing one foot in front of the other. While the dragging sensation on his limbs seemed a bit less, running twenty laps around the village was still a chore.

Before he knew it, it was back to scrambling across the abandoned training area and flinging rocks around haphazardly. To make matters worse, every time he completed a set, Kemuri snarkily retorted that he'd be adding five more repetitions the following day. Naruto groaned several times that morning to the repeated discovery that hard work was its own reward.

Fortunately, he did not quit nor complain. Not once.

Dragging himself back to the apartment, the beet-faced Genin tried to gut out his shower with the two female clones trying to convince himself that he was just using clones to speed up the process. Unfortunately, neither one felt much like a clone and, since he could at least stand under his own power, him having to help scrub them clean didn't help at all. The explosion of blood from his nose only made a bigger mess and he ended up passed out yet again, albeit for a different reason than from the first morning.

At least they had picked up extra towels so they each had their own.

The only difference in the day's lesson came with Fuu-chan vice Naruko's infiltration and information gathering session. Fuu had him focus on standard equipment load-outs based on mission requirements and she grilled him over and over again giving him fifteen minutes to prepare a standard pack out based on D through B-class missions.

If he went over, she dumped out the whole kit without even checking the content and made him start all over again.

When he met time, she critiqued him on content and made him re-pack the excess back into his storage seal before setting a new exercise.

Time left over was set aside for practice with small blades. Though he hated senbon, she still made him practice with them at their training area even setting up basic training targets they'd purchased from Higurashi's. Shuriken and kunai throwing followed for ten minutes apiece rounding out the first half-hour. Then there was…

A dull "clack" echoed out across the ill-manicured training area. Naruto's blunted training kunai rebounded off of Fuu-chan's, her face beaming with her sadistic grin. A stunted blade in each hand, she ducked under his next swing and raked the tip across his rib cage. Dull though it was, the training tool was hard rubber with a weighted metal core and it left angry red welts across his bare chest.

Leaping back, the sweaty Genin sucked in a few hissing breaths while she stood casually near the center of the green patch, her kunai spinning rapidly around well-manicured fingers.

Pulsing red kanji beneath the resistance seal on his chest glowed dimly in the falling sunlight and Naruto was regretting the extra drag on his swings. She was fast enough without his handicap but now it was all he could do just to defend. Every time he went on the offensive, she added another decoration to his body. His back already sported another three or four (he'd lost count surrendering to the constant burning itch) and lamented that she'd started focusing on his chest.

Figuring he'd wasted enough time, Fuu's eyes disappeared behind an upgraded smile as she flexed her knees and charged.

Groaning at the beating to come, Naruto brought both training weapons up in a reverse grip across his chest and began deflecting her cuts as best he could.

She promised to help him refine his fighting technique but today was an opportunity to "feel out" his fighting base. If feeling out his fighting base meant going home looking like a bruised side of beef, she was doing an admirable job.

Another agonizing scream echoed across the night sky in the Red-Light District.

Wednesday, Week 1: Naruto's Apartment – Early the Next Morning ~

Naruto rolled back into the apartment the next morning stiff and struggling. Kemuri had increased his resistance by another two kanji on the next clockwise spiral halfway through the run. Then he proceeded to burn him out by adding another section of reps to every event.

Naruto didn't even fight the shower.

Beyond that, the rest of the morning was a blur. Even lunch, normally a sedate affair, was a blurry haze. Throwing a black and orange jacket over dark blue pants and a white tee-shirt, he strolled from the apartment at noon headed for the Market District. He didn't know why the meeting today wasn't in the same office they borrowed in Hokage Tower, but it didn't really matter to him.

A head shrink session was a head shrink session and he wasn't planning on talking much anyway. To Naruto, it was all a waste of time regardless.

Spotting his destination, he squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, then pushed open one half of the double doors.

A bell chimed and Ino began her normal greeting without looking up from her magazine. "Welcome to Yamanaka Florals, how can I-." Her mantra came to an abrupt halt once she saw a familiar set of blue eyes and whiskered cheeks.

"Wha-Naruto? What the hell do you want?"

He grimaced in response and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Refusing to rise to the bait, his eyes looked past her shoulder to the service door behind her as he seemed set on just standing there.

"Hey! You can't just hang out here. Either you're buying or you're walking, so pick one!" It was as he plopped down into one of the waiting area chairs, elbows on knees without acknowledging her outbursts or meeting her gaze, that the elite beauty lost her cool and stormed around the counter. She marched purposefully to plant both feet in front of his face, hands on hips, which were uncomfortably close enough to force him to lean back in the seat and look up into her angry eyes, eyes that were full of indignant rage.

"Last chance before I mind-melt you and walk your sorry ass out of here, Uzumaki."

"That'll be enough, Ino."

Her eyes never left his, but she bristled, teeth grinding as she saw the boy's face meld seamlessly in a shitty grin.

Inoichi stepped forward wiping his hands on a shop towel before offering one to his new patient. "Come with me, Naruto-san. The sooner we get our session started, the sooner you can get back to a more comfortable environment." He offered a well-calloused palm, which the boy rose and shook in return, before leading them back to his ground-floor office.

Naruto saw the inner gossip gleam in the girl's eyes and figured she'd be after him to spill the details, but he wrote it off as another chance to tweak her nerves.

Before too long, he found himself lounging on an inclined couch with the older blond seated in a chair just behind him. "So," he started cautiously, "…how is this supposed to work?"

"Well, we're just going to talk." Inoichi's voice was mellow, soothing.

Despite his best efforts, Naruto found himself sinking into the couch and relaxing, the tension bleeding from his shoulders.

"Talk…talk about what?"

"Well, why don't we start with what started this whole change in your life. Let's talk about the Mizuki incident."

The boy automatically tensed and Inoichi caught it straight away.

"Ah, before that…"

Naruto heard him rise from his chair and walk over to his desk, his head turning to follow the man's movements. Pushing chakra into one palm, the tall figure placed his open hand on the desktop and Naruto saw glowing vines swirl off the desk surface, to the floor, up the walls, and across each window and door to the room before shooting across the ceiling.

"Now, we should be free to talk about whatever you want without fear of someone listening in." The elder shinobi's ice blue orbs flickered to the door he knew his daughter was listening at with an evil parental grin at foiling her plot to snoop. Certain they were now safe, he scooted his chair closer to the couch so that he was within arm's reach of his patient.

"Okay, let's start over. Tell me how you felt starting with how your day went during graduation. Start at the final exam."

~III~

Ino stormed from the door with an angry hiss. Her father was a sneaky one, but she clearly heard the "Mizuki incident." Instead of returning to her magazine, the girl began pacing behind the counter, one arm wrapped around her slender waist and the other elbow resting on that arm with her teeth worrying at a thumbnail. 'Naruto was involved in the Mizuki betrayal?! Oh shit! This can't be true…'

She was so lost in conspiracy damage control she completely missed the civilian customer walking in under the door's pleasant chime.

"Excuse me…" the woman started only to be interrupted by an impatient Ino.

"Yeah, sure grab whatever you want. Pansies are half off this week." Ino promptly returned to her brainstorming ignoring the woman's affronted pause. Her mind flipped back to their impromptu lunch with the gang at Yakiniku Q.

'Damn it all, that means Shika was right!' Her eyes ballooned comically. 'Soo… was he an instigator or an informant?' Now she was really curious. That curiosity burst like a hot air balloon as she remembered their most recent encounter. 'No way he'll share if he sees me as a threat. I need to get on the inside track.'

"Excuse me," the quiet customer asked.

At first, she shivered. The thought of being close to the Uzumaki was a socially repugnant one. He was a pariah, an outcast of epic proportions. Just being seen with him was enough to get her banned to the fringes of polite society. Was it worth it?

"Excuse me!" the woman asked a bit more forcefully holding a clutch of plain white tulips.

'Ugh! Maybe I can ask Hinata for advice. She's been gaga over that reject forever. She may even know where he hangs out!'

The lady gently tapped her forearm snapping the spiraling girl out of her quandary much to her annoyance.

"WHAT?!" Ino snapped back, causing the woman to flinch. Seeing the tiny bunch of flowers, she snatched them quickly, wrapped them in soft paper, spritzed them with a little baby's breath, and handed them back as she walked around the counter to help the older woman outside.

"But… but… I haven't-."

"No need. They're free. Have a nice day!" She unceremoniously shoved the woman outside and locked the door behind her flipping the open sign to "Closed, be back in fifteen minutes."

'I bet Forehead won't believe this when I tell her! Kiba is a good tracker… I wonder if we can get him to spy on Naruto?'

~III~

Inoichi leaned back in his chair shaking off the lethargy of using chakra for prolonged periods of time, his hand detaching from the child's forehead. Looking down at the peacefully sleeping boy, he couldn't see him as anything other than a child not more than a few years older than his own little girl.

Thinking like that would likely get him scolded and he corrected his mental mistake less Ino get word of it. She was a kunoichi now and, if stories held true, this young man was just as deadly if not more so.

He'd beaten a Chunin instructor single-handedly and that was notable in and of itself. Allegedly, he'd caught a serial psychotic in the slums a few years ago. The boy was dangerous and he couldn't, for his family's sake, see him as anything less than a shinobi.

As the boy began to stir, he hoped his actions wouldn't end in a Kyuubi-induced rage leveling the village or, more specifically, his family dwelling. Having the Kyuubi vessel as a mortal enemy would be a terrible thing to suffer through.

"Ngh! What hit me?"

He sounded groggy but unstressed. That was good, Inoichi noted.

"You dozed off. Do you feel better?"

Naruto bolted up and sheepishly bowed to the Jounin, one hand behind his head. "Ah! Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to-."

Inoichi waived it off. He could see the boy was exhausted when he arrived. This actually played into his hands.

"I'm fine if our sessions devolve into you resting. It's a good sign. It means you feel safe here. If you feel safe, that means you'll eventually open up." The older shinobi rose and deactivated the privacy seals in the room.

"Remember, I want you to take it easy tonight and go to bed early. It's natural to be a little lightheaded after a session like this and you'll need to recover mentally. Next week we can sort through these feelings of loneliness you're struggling with, okay?"

Naruto's face was calm, relaxed. He stood up cautiously from the couch and bowed to the guy letting him snore on his five-thousand Ryu sofa. 'Wonder if I can find a used one somewhere?'

Walking out with an easy smile on his face, and another shitty smirk in Ino's direction, he actually whistled a happy tune all the way home ignoring the hateful stares he passed along the way. His good mood lasted through the rest of the night much to the "gang's" surprise, that is until he tried to summon Kemuri just before bed.

Instead, he got a blond duplicate of himself, its eyes blinking in surprise.

Naruto dispelled the clone and tried again, this time focusing with everything he had on Kemuri's annoying buzzcut and rock-solid jawline.

He got another duplicate only this time it had slightly more chakra.

"What… the…actual…FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"

~III~

Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom

by Minato Namikaze

Chapter 2: Self Control is the Key to Greatness

Epictetus once said, "No man is free who is not master of himself." The same holds true many centuries later, more so in the shinobi world than any other.

Chakra is the breath of life, literally, to all that we do. Among non-shinobi it is the life energy that powers them through their daily routines and gives them the strength to persevere through great crisis. Among the shinobi world, it is the elixir that empowers us to the fantastical…and to the truly monstrous.

For the most famous, or infamous, examples of either, you need look no further than the Great Shinobi Wars of our illustrious past. The question of note is how did we get to that point? Where did the phenomenal wielders of chakra from those epic historical milestones learn their respective crafts? How did they mold and shape the mythical powers that made their names a household reference, for good or ill?

It is simple really. They began with the leaf floating exercise.

Okay, not every major shinobi village used the same training principle, but they all have their own version of the leaf exercise. Kiri uses a small bit of water. Iwa uses stones. Kumo uses small chunks of ferrous metals to focus electrical affinities. Suna uses sand to harness wind and train their wind users. The tools differ but the end results remain the same.

Better control over chakra for more powerful ninjutsu.

So, let us take a closer look at that tiny leaf you're no doubt glaring at in disdain and what it means for a fresh shinobi…

~III~