Chapter 26.

Since he could not be at the bunker, where he longed to be, Cas decided it was a good time to visit Hell with the glad tidings. His request for an audience was immediately approved and he was shown into the throne room within a minute.

Rowena rose to greet him, coming over to him immediately and touching his chest with an over-familiar hand. He could remember when she had terrified him with gestures like that, but he had long considered her a friend, albeit one who needed to be regarded with caution. "Your appearance here is unexpected," she said, "But never unwelcome."

"I bring good news." he said.

"Well, you bring it with a face like thunder." she said, "There's something less good on your mind."

"I'm fine." he said.

"Ah, the Winchester mantra." she said with a smile. "Well, then, tell me your news."

"Sam and Eileen wished me to tell you that they are to have a child."

The smile broadened. "They wanted me told?"

"All their loved ones are being informed, although not the Winchesters, just yet."

"I am a higher priority than John and Mary Winchester? You tell my dear, wonderful Sam and his extraordinary wife that I could not be happier for them. Seems my little fertility and good fortune spell worked well for them. With two such parents, the child's bound to be some kind of prodigy and he or she may count on his or her Aunt Rowena for any kind of help or advice."

"I will tell them that. I'm sure they will be profoundly grateful."

"But you still won't tell your Rowena what weighs so heavily on you?"

"It's a matter of no consequence to the Queen of Hell."

"Do I have to guess what Dean Winchester has done now?"

"It's not his fault. An issue arose that I was unable to deal with in a rational way."

"Yes, dear, you're an angel. Every issue is like that. Did you fight with Dean?"

"Briefly and to no purpose."

"What did he do, my darling?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing." said Cas.

"Three times? Must be true."

"Yes." he said.

"Did he say something stupid? Did he deceive you."

"I really don't want to discuss it."

"Clearly not, but it's good to talk and if you wanted a little hexette to remind him of the duties of a true friend ... "

Cas felt his patience running out. "He is the best friend I ever had or could ever want. The fault is mine."

"And what did you do and why?" she said.

"I interfered in his private life, because I was afraid."

"I wasn't aware he had a private life."

"Neither was I."

"Until ... "

"There was a ... a liaison."

"With whom?" said Rowena.

"I feel unsafe in giving you that information."

"Well, whoever it was, why were you afraid?"

"I think I may be somewhat overprotective of Dean and perhaps also of the other person involved."

"It wasn't Claire, was it?" she said.

Cas was shocked. "Dean is old enough to be Claire's father!"

"You are old enough to be Jules's earliest ancestor."

"It's different for angels." he said.

"So, not Claire."

"An angel." he said.

"Oh dear."

"You see the problem?"

"I see about fifteen, starting with the fact that Dean hates angels, present company excepted. Did he know she was an angel at the time of the liaison?"

"He did."

"And he still ... liaisoned?"

"Yes."

"Is it love?" she asked, "Or was it just to satisfy curiosity?"

"I don't know. I became angry. I spoke harshly. He sent me away. He was right to. He may never want to speak to me again."

"Castiel, you've tried to kill him in the past. I hardly think he'll end your friendship eternally because of some hasty words."

"I may have implied that his presence is inimical to angels."

"And so it is." said Rowena, "And a lot of them deserve it."

"It doesn't matter. He will forgive me, or he will not. I should have held my tongue."

"I was never much good at that either." she said, "Still, if it is the real thing, there's a delightful symmetry to it."

"What symmetry?" he said.

"You found love with a human, now he finds it with an angel. I like that."

"But can Dean ever be truly happy with an angel?" said Cas.

"It may be more apposite to ask whether Dean can ever be truly happy at all." she said, looking unusually grave and sympathetic.

"I have to believe that he can," said Cas, "And I need to do anything I can to help him find what he needs, but how can I know what he needs?"

"You can't, not really. Only he can decide that."

"But he seems as confused as I am."

"Yes, well, he's a human, a man and a Winchester. Perpetual confusion is, I'm afraid, the natural state of all three."

"So what if he chooses wrongly?"

"We all have, at some point in our lives. What did you do when you did?"

"Felt stupid and worthless and guilty. Those are also natural states for Dean, but they are never good for him."

"They weren't good for you either, I'll warrant." said Rowena.

"No, but the Winchesters and Jules helped me through those times."

"Precisely."

"Precisely what?" he said, wishing she could be less enigmatic when it mattered so much.

"Castiel, it is not our place to keep those we love from making mistakes. Mistakes are, first of all, very entertaining to the surrounding family and secondly, they are how people learn. If I'd fed Fergus where he sat, would he ever have learnt to walk? We will never know."

"I think Sam and Eileen should teach their child by kinder methods."

"Possibly. I have never denied that I have made mistakes. Not all my choices are good, but at least they are my own. Dean has the right to his own mistakes too. Him more than anyone. He was the puppet of God for so long."

"I hadn't thought of that."

"No, you didn't think, because you saw a threat to him and you felt a need to deal with it. It's all very laudable, but also very dangerous."

"To Dean?"

"And to you. Look at how you're suffering now."

"I don't care about me!"

"And when he says that, does it make you happy?"

He fell silent. There was no answer he could give that didn't put him in the wrong. "I should go." he said at last."

"To Dean?" she said, "I promise, talking now will avoid yelling later."

"I am grateful for your advice, but I too must make my own mistakes."

"Yes, of course you must, but have faith in Dean. He's strong. He can bear the slings and arrows."

"All I wanted ... "

"Good intentions butter no parsnips, as they say."

"I don't eat parsnips."

"Well, you should. Some good, honest, earthy roots would do you a power of good."

"I don't understand any of what you are saying." he said.

"I'm saying go to Dean, talk this out, shout if you need to. Don't let a wall of silence grow between you. And tell Sam and Eileen that their child is under my protection. Anyone in Hell who tries to harm that child will wish they had never been damned."

"I think most of them do already." said Cas.