A/N: I'm not one to belabor and argument over writing skills or claiming to be better than Kishimoto-san. Point blank, I'm not. Let's get that out in the open at the start.

Hell, I'm not even a writer by profession.

Someone attempted to accuse me of making that bold statement-claiming so after reading a single chapter of this story, their "brave" guest comment filled with righteous rage. They were so indignant that they couldn't even take credit for their brave stand in defense of Kishimoto-san's work in light of my caustic abuse of his product. The funny thing is they'll never even read this far into the story and see the error of their ways.

How tragic it was. I was almost moved to cringing in shame. Almost… well, I couldn't even type that with a straight face. I could give two well-rounded turds about it, however, to avoid future confusion I'll be clear.

TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR, I am not nor have I ever claimed to be better than Kishimoto. Heck, I'm not even seeking to be published; I'm an engineer that likes to daydream about shinobi saving the world. Kishimoto is a published success story and the world he's created is indeed a marvel of imagination. You don't know me so don't put words in my mouth.

I do have a difference of opinion with how he developed his story and that's why we have fanfiction. I'm allowed to have a different opinion. It gives us "no-talent hacks" a place to vent our imagination and try something different. It's my right to be a disagreeable arse. What's more, if you don't like it, you have the total freedom of choice not to read it.

That'll teach us, by gum!

Also, if you're going to try and use something like the secret lives of jinchuuriki to throw shade, you should at least make an effort to make a partially-accurate argument (it makes you sound less ignorant when you know what you're talking about and trust me, you don't). Not only was this person's point of view completely wrong with regard to canon no less, but it also has nothing to do with fanfiction. They, like their comment, are irrelevant and I ask the rest of you level-headed folks to keep that in mind as you decide whether or not to indulge me in this inaccurate depiction of life with Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze in my version of Konohagakure no Sato.

Oh, before I forget. Didn't someone say that I sucked at writing romance once? Something to do with Ino's awkward scenes with Naruto? Well, you're about to learn why they were so awkward. Evil Grin

Enjoy the Chunin Exam pre-game.

Ja ne!

~Siva'a-tasi

~III~

Chapter 35: The Tangled Webs We Weave

~ Previously on No More ~

Bored out of her mind and tired of room service, Karin Uzumaki, a.k.a. "the worthless tomato of Team Shigeri," was sitting lotus style on her fairly comfortable hotel bed, the two Chunin-level kunoichi sharing her room alternating between sending odd looks her way and dealing cards to their two-woman game of Hold 'Em. She'd been sitting like that for the last hour cycling chakra through her system trying to reverse the nasty bite marks (unsuccessfully) littering her upper body.

Not for the first time did one of the two grimaced at what they saw. It didn't matter that most in Kusa considered her foreign trash, she was now a loyal kunoichi of Kusagakure no Sato and, in their humble opinion, deserved better treatment. She deserved some respect considering it was her "special talent" that saved more than a few of their rear ends when the fat hit the fire during the latest post-war skirmishes with Rain as rogue nin fled the purge of Hanzo from Ame.

The girl had more than paid her dues in their books, however, Kusa was stubbornly bigoted like that. The old prejudices died hard in the plains.

So, when the girl flashed a dazzling smile right before opening her eyes to blurt out wanting a late night snack, both of them had little problem with kicking her teammates out of bed to escort her across the street to that dingy little ramen shack. Rini-chan even promised herself that she'd belt the loud-mouthed one if he complained too loudly about having to go claiming he needed an attitude adjustment anyway.

Furthermore, just to be safe about it, they'd grab a quick bite and watch from the shadows to make sure no Konoha trash got too friendly with their scarlet angel of mercy.

~III~

~ Iwagakure no Sato, Office of the Sandaime Tsuchikage ~

"You couldn't have gotten the message here sooner?"

Ōnoki was feeling a bit… tense. His eyes were closed. His tiny fists were balled up into twitching apples on top of his custom (altered-for-his-stature) desk. He was counting backwards slowly from one hundred as his mustache trembled violently at the tightly pressed corners of his mouth. For all intents and purposes, the pint-sized dictator was furious. Did he not appreciate the great sacrifice his younger brother made in order to close up his affairs and make haste back to the shinobi capitol?

"Hmph, I mean really. How ungrateful can you be, brother?" Yari felt a bit vindicated considering his elder brother made him wait an entire day before he'd give him an audience. As far as he was concerned, any delay was his brother's fault for being so stoneheaded.

Ōnoki's face turned a brilliant scarlet to match his nose right before his eyes snapped open. He was trying to ignore the gaily decorated pink kimono of his brother-half brother, he quickly amended. He was also trying desperately to keep his blood pressure in check.

"Not only did you lose me my most profitable venture-."

"-in another country's territory-," Yari quickly interrupted.

"-but you tell me two and a half days later that the person responsible for breaking up our mining operation was an Uzumaki royal allied with the Leaf?!" Ōnoki flatly ignored the inference that he was illegally stealing the natural resources of one country in order to sell them at a ridiculously huge profit to another. He was but that was beside the point.

That last word, the Leaf, was almost a curse given the vehemence in the little tyrant's throat and, while Yari was brave enough to venture many risqué opportunities, pitching the reigning Kage into a murderous pique focused in his direction was not one of them. He would need a way to salvage this somehow.

"We traveled through the night to get here as soon as we could. I fail to see why-."

Ōnoki wasted no time cutting off another of his half-brother's simpering mental wanderings. "My granddaughter is on her way right now to Konoha for the Chunin Exams!"

'Oh, well that sucks.' Yari, being linked to Ōnoki by the same hateful father through infidelity and debauchery, was many things but politically inept was not one of them. He knew his place. As the bastard son of a former Clan head of stature, he'd lived his life in the shadow of Iwa politics without the overt protections of his lecherous father. One did not survive long without a firm grasp on political boundaries and he was, much to his rapidly growing shock, recklessly traipsing through shark-infested waters at the moment.

"Well, I suppose we could have risked losing everything we've saved before fleeing to send a message but that was deemed too risky." Ōnoki's raised palm halted any further conversation. Without another word, the same hand flipped down to make a shooing motion indicating the meeting had definitively reached its end.

"As you wish brother." The younger sibling rose gracefully and glided towards the exit executing one last curtsy as he departed with a final, "I await your next command, as always."

And like a gentle breeze, Yari was gone and Ōnoki was alone in his office trying to reorganize his thoughts. "Gao!" A heavy-set shinobi appeared from the nearest office corner. "Find me Roshi! I have a message he needs to personally deliver for me."

~III~

~ Konogakure no Sato, Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~

The week had been extraordinarily tranquil if Hiruzen had to admit it to himself. While Naruto's pranking had long been an issue of the past, the old campaigner actually had to struggle to remember the last prank clearly, he still found unintentional ways to keep life interesting. Digging into the recesses of his still nimble mind, images of bright orange ninken streaking across his imagination, before shuffling the memories back into storage along with the last bit of paperwork cluttering his desk.

The Uzumaki heir kept his promise buckling down and rising from juvenilistic self-destruction to professional acumen, but this Kage had its own nest of vipers to contend with. Glancing back to the last angry stamp of denial, the Sandaime shook his balding head in disproval at the latest Council attempt to abscond with the hidden Arashi estate and, not for the first or even hundredth time, the Hokage wondered how much paperwork he would generate if he ordered the A-Rank needed to assassinate them all.

He'd even looked into it once or twice, the amount of work and the right mix of shinobi needed to wipe the slate clean in a single night. For a dictatorial leader in his position, it would be remarkably easy to accomplish and get away with. Given their less than reputable reputation among the militaristic branch of the Konoha government, any number of his best, mediocre, or even worst shinobi/ kunoichi would jump at the chance. No one would even fault him for it.

The problem therein, and the only reason staying the executioner's blade, came in the amount of administrative pain the Civilian Council, in reality, saved him. Despite the added misery, they caused in trying to make the life of the Yondaime's son a living hell, the amount of labor required to run a village the size of the Leaf was astronomical. What was the saying? 'Many hands make for light work?'

Hiruzen was called "The Professor" for justifiable reasons but he didn't know the first thing about how to run a bank or an orphanage. He knew how to balance a Clan account and that you shouldn't try to poison a defenseless two-year-old but what decent human couldn't connect the dots there? Computers? Couldn't tell you the first thing about one but he didn't need to as the Hokage. He just needed trustworthy people to support him and therein lay the other problem.

Despite the administrative boon, those same human beings knew just how to bog him down in minutia when they were about to get into something underhanded. The bureaucracy was a dual-edged blade of the worst sort and now he was firmly in bed with the corrupt organization without an escape route through the walls.

His eyes flickered to the corner where a certain hidden passage no longer resided and the corners of his mouth crinkled into a small smile. Sometimes there were pleasant memories to make him seem less old and those were fewer and farther between of late. Perhaps it was time to seriously contemplate retiring again.

Placing his hands firmly on the armrests of his extremely comfortable chair, he made to rise…

Knock. Knock. Knock. 'Sigh.'

'Well, there goes an early lunch with Kono-kun.' Easing back into his chair, the Sandaime Hokage tamped out a deliberate ten count while re-packing his favorite pipe before barking out a curt, "Enter!" When he looked up from his very focused preparation, it was to the surprise discovery of both Teams Seven and Asuma minus the blond jinchūriki so, in order to buy time for mental processing, he responded in typical Kage fashion.

"Report." 'Provide time to think by requiring your subordinates to fill the silence with information.'

"Hokage-sama, primary escort mission complete." Kakashi placed the Kusa missive on the desk. "We met with the Kusa team as directed with all support in place. Unfortunately, Kusa decided to go off-script by sending two Jounin-led squads of Chunin to protect their 'interests,' so to speak." The elite shrugged almost casually. "Tora decided, and rightfully so, that we could not eliminate the Genin without risking some of the Kusa escort escaping and alerting their hidden village. As such, our lead gave the abort signal and we defaulted to bringing them safely to Konoha assuming the second phase of the exam would be the best place to execute the original mission."

"I can see where this would pose problems." Upon seeing the confused looks on the face of his Genin, Hiruzen chose to elaborate.

"The Kusagakure Oyabun is and always has been a very shrewd man. We can surmise Kusa was not aware of our plan to liberate someone from their rank and file."

Here the Genin of Team Seven appeared very confused.

"Else they would have refused to send anyone," the quick Yamanaka supplied, which earned her a smiling nod from her Kage.

"Correct. However, our spies within the village indicate that knowledge of a surviving Uzumaki member may have predicated the additional security measures." At that point, the lights began to come on in the minds of Konoha's newest nin. "It would appear we are not the only ones with skilled eyes and ears in other hidden villages."

"You're concerned they plan to steal away his loyalties through the female Genin while insuring her safe return through the extra muscle." It wasn't a question from the former ANBU.

Hiruzen's answering nod proved Kakashi was on the right track. "We'll need to take full advantage of the second phase of the exam. We must be absolutely sure that the Uzumaki kunoichi meets an unfortunate end with the rest of her team."

The older Sarutobi took a moment to light his pipe before continuing. Kakashi started with stuffing his hands into the pockets of his uniform and eye smiling in his normally lazy fashion. It was not a move that fostered confidence of any sort.

Hiruzen considered the counter shift of the mission and nodded having planned Phase Two as a backup should something go wrong in the escort. Sending large smoke rings to the ceiling, he conceded the point with a satisfied nod of his head. "Make sure the escorts do not have access to the Tower during the second phase, Iruka."

The ever-present instructor nodded as he made dedicated notes of the A-Class debriefing.

"We will credit your Genin with the mission based on their performance during the exams." Hiruzen tried not to notice how the pouting Uchiha's face perked up at the thought of being able to complete his original mission and engage a few Kusa nins in the bargain.

"By the way Asuma, where exactly is Naruto?" the old man asked as he released the security seals from his desk.

Ignoring the scoff coming from the broody Uchiha heir, Ino answered up instead. "He's escorting the Kusa group to their hotel, Hokage-sama. He said he'd come straight here once he was done to debrief you on his observations of their group."

Asuma merely turned to Ino and inclined his head. The young mindwalker flashed a Ram seal and closed her eyes for several heartbeats.

"They are just arriving at the Olive Branch. We have perhaps another ten minutes before they finish, and he returns here." Hiruzen nodded at the update; the Olive Branch was the largest hotel complex in the village designed and intended to host large numbers of foreign dignitaries or shinobi teams participating in events such as the Chunin Exams. It also had the distinct pleasure as being included in the Barrier Team's village defense plans given the military-grade seals capable of sealing up tight the three-building complex through chakra barrier and restriction seals.

"Pops, we need to debrief you on our primary still but, before that, these two need to speak with you on that other matter."

"Maa, time for my cute little Genin to move on to other things! By your leave, Hokage-sama." Despite the eye smile and lazy drawl, both Sarutobi in the office were appreciative of the elite Jounin's quick uptake on affairs. No sooner were the bewildered members of Team Seven evacuated then Hiruzen flew through the obligatory hand seals required to activate his privacy seals.

"Pops, looks like we might have a small problem on our hands." It didn't take long to fill the old man in on what details were omitted from the Hanikamu mission, the implications for the recent Iwa Genin team becoming all the more suspect.

An acknowledging grunt a few minutes later followed by a gentle, "Well done, dismissed!" saw Team Asuma on their way right as the door opened to admit the somber face of Team Asuma's point nin. Pausing for a quick peck on the cheek by his favorite blond kunoichi, the bijū container sidled up to the desk to begin his part of the brief while his team slipped quietly away.

Ino and Shikamaru shared one final look right as the double doors to the Hokage's office clicked softly shut. Ignoring the burning desire to spiral out of control and do something idiotic like hyperventilate-not that Shika ever would as it'd be too troublesome to expend the energy, they parted ways at the base of the tower, Shika heading solemnly off towards his clan estate while Ino strode purposely to the center of Konoha's Market District. Diverting off the main east-west drag, she hung a sharp left and promptly found herself outside The Dango Stop, her eyes locking onto a particularly jaunty ponytail the color of plums.

~*0*~

Despite being at her favorite non-work-related place, Anko was having a hard time doing anything other than staring malevolently at the fresh plate of her still-steaming, and well-earned if she had to say it, treat. She'd asked for the rare pineapple dango today and the bright yellow of the sweet glaze, the deep golden color of the pineapple bits, kept reminding her of a very unpleasant memory.

'Wasn't my fault.'

She almost believed it that time, but one particular chunk of the citrusy treat seemed to glare back at her with a mental, 'And you believe that shit, do ya?'

It was particularly infuriating. She was under orders, wasn't she? Didn't that count for anything? A tiny Anko appeared on her left shoulder wearing an all-white copy of her trademark ensemble with the only difference being that her skirt reached halfway to her knees.

'You knew the orders were morally bankrupt, Anko dear. Let's not delude ourselves with pedantic bullshit.'

Anko blinked twice, the first time when her eyes flickered to her left shoulder to see a chibi version of herself with tiny angel wings, a slightly off-kilter halo, and she was dressed in pure white. The second time she blinked came when her angelic conscience swore at her for trying to defend her choice of following orders.

'You can't blame her for this one, you pantywaist vanilla tart!' Anko's eyes whipped to her other shoulder only to find the obvious chibi doppelganger bedecked all in black minus any sort of skirt and a see-through trench that looked more like a long rain slicker. At least she was wearing a black thong to spare Anko what was left of her paper-thin modesty.

Anko paused to admit the thigh-high, and very impractical, stiletto boots were a nice touch though.

'Of course, you would defend her. You defend every shitty decision she's ever made and that's why we end up in these cracked over situations All. The. TIME!' The chibi angel's wings were fluttering like a hummingbird as she levitated mere centimeters off Anko's shoulder.

'Fuck off, Tweety! Without me, life would be one long snooze fest. Be lucky I let you rub one out from your timeout corner.' The dark chibi huffed dismissively as she buffed out tiny black fingernails along the lapel of her plastic overcoat.

'That's it!' By now, Anko's poor brain had given up trying to follow the discussion between the opposites of her persona but the unwelcomed distraction of a certain platinum blond brought in a fresh focus for her mental breakdown. It also served to stop the two mini-Ankos from flailing their arms at each other from opposing shoulders like some elementary school brawl.

'Hold that thought. Fresh meat just landed.' As one, all three versions of the clearly distraught Tokujo looked up to lock eyes with their unwanted guest. All three sets of orbs narrowed dangerously at the intrusion to their self-reflection and self-attitude adjustment session.

"No," Anko growled out only to receive a confused blink in return from the pinup kunoichi.

"What do you mean, 'no?' You're my handler. I'm supposed to report in when we return from missions to keep you up to date." Ino casually reached across the table and snagged one of the untouched dango skewers popping one of the sweet treats into her mouth. A body-wracking cold chill shot up her spine as the light seemed to dim a bit, the blood-curdling sensation drawing her eyes up and across the table to the light brown orbs seeking a place to stab something pointy, or less so, somewhere into her body.

"What? You weren't going to eat it with that look on your face."

'Well, look at the tits on this one,' purred the angel. The chibi devil actually raised an eyebrow at the comment from her lighter twin.

The younger kunoichi blanched when a kunai thundered into the tabletop with a loud bang, the blade spaced evenly between Ino and the rapidly cooling plate of food. When she looked up to relock eyes with the specialist, she involuntarily swallowed before trying to move on from the very clear threat.

"Ooookay, today is clearly an off-day so I'll be brief."

Anko's raised palm cut her off. "Get it through your fucking skull. I'm not your handler!"

Ino frowned but managed to get out, "But they said-," right before Anko cut her off again. That was getting really old.

"It doesn't matter what they said for your 'seduction' mission." Ino tried to ignore the air quotes blinked her way. "They don't run the village. It's only an A-ranker and we're not at war. If it were an S-rank, it would be an entirely different plate of dango, but it's not. I don't have to accept their mission and I haven't." Her finger tapped the table three times, once for each word at the end of her sentence.

"I was ordered to step aside by my superior and that's all I did." The now angry torturer rose and threw down a wad of Ryu. "That doesn't make me your accomplice in this bullshit. I won't hurt him any more than I was already forced to."

"Chickenshit."

Anko's body jerked to a stop before she could turn away from the table, her face registering first shock then anger before charging right on past that to murderous killing intent. Ino, despite the violent shudders wracking her body, clearly didn't have enough common sense to stop while she was ahead.

"You claim that you love him but, instead of working with me to keep him here, keep him happy and safe, you throw up your hands and walk off into the sunset." The heat growing in her own pale eyes was helping to stave of the growing desire to flee from the Jounin's punishing KI. "They'll hand me off to someone that doesn't care about him or how he turns up when this all ends. It's not like there are a ton of people in this village that care whether or not he lives or dies to begin with!"

Despite her anger, she flinched reflexively when the older woman ripped the kunai from the table. Ino had forgotten about the weapon, but she'd gone too far to pull back now, her tongue slipping out to nervously wet her lips.

"You still planning on abandoning him once the exams are over?!" Despite being delivered in an even volume and tempo, the venom in the older woman's voice was unmistakable.

"Pfft! I was 'crystal' clear," Ino felt really pleased with herself over her own air quotes, "…when I accepted this mission that my loyalties stay with-." She blinked and the kunai that once rent the eatery table was now a centimeter from piercing her throat. She hadn't even seen the weapon shift position and Ino found that extremely nerve-wracking.

"I warned you what I'd do if you hurt him for that piece of shit Uchiha, didn't I?" The girl didn't answer but she didn't have to. They both remembered the older woman's threat.

"After all he's done for you, after everything he's shared with you… things that were supposed to be…" She wanted to scream out, 'things that were meant for me' but it was too late for that now and the snake summoner's rage briefly had a new target, an older one with age spots and glasses covering rheumy eyes before her attention was brutally brought back to the victim at hand.

'That's it! Gut her! Rip her tits off, bronze them, and mount them to your trophy wall!' the supposed angel screeched.

'We don't have a trophy wall, baka!'

'Start one with her body parts!' It sounded so straight forward coming from the angry chibi.

The real Anko found it hard not to take her hate-filled eyes off the younger woman she was threatening with a lethal ninja tool but the chibi devil did. Anko could see the darker figure in her periphery lean forward and throw a worrying glance to the supposed better half of Anko's psyche, the superego. Briefly, and not for the first time, she wondered if she even had a moral compass.

"You do this, you smash his heart for that pink-eyed bastard, and I'll skin you alive, Yamanaka." It was delivered with no outward emotion, a sibilant hiss through clenched teeth. Ino glanced nervously to the pointed weapon still hovering next to her throat but when she looked back up to the angry killer leaning over the table, all she saw was swirling wind and leaves.

The young Yamanaka dropped her partially eaten dango skewer onto the largely untouched plate and shakily walked from the eatery, not stopping until she passed through the shop front and into her father's incredibly confused arms. It was then that her willpower gave way releasing the built-up stress, fear, frustration, and anger in the form of hot tears.

Neither saw the puff of chakra smoke wafting up from the roof of the dango vendor, the perfect place to watch the hotel across the street hosting the newly arrived Kusa Genin teams.

~III~

~ Later that Same Night in the Hokage's Office, Konohagakure no Sato ~

Hiruzen took his time re-packing his pipe bowl as he considered his student's griping. A shinobi's life wasn't easy and Jiraiya had been doing it for a fairly long time, that single fact in and of itself a testament to his not inconsiderable prowess as a shinobi. There were two statistical anomalies sitting in the same room in a field where the average life expectancy topped out in the mid-twenties, not fifties, sixties or seventies. The younger man sitting across from him gave Hiruzen hope, even if he was a hopeless pervert of the worst kind.

'Damn good writer though.'

He chuckled while raking his still sharp eyes over the slouching body of his former student. "You're looking particularly ragged this evening, Jiraiya." If anything, the white-haired sage sagged just a tiny bit further in his seat.

"It's all your fault, sensei!" The master snorted even as he brought mellow flames to fragrant leaves at the tips of his fingers. "Not funny! You try being zapped around the nation while they kept their beady eyes on that slimy bastard! It was exhausting." Jiraiya tried to pout harder than he already was. "I'm not sure what information Hisa-san passed on that needed me to cut off Danzō before he got to the Land of Iron, but it was, to quote the Nara heir, troublesome to pull off this ambush at the last minute."

Hiruzen had very little sympathy and it showed in the condescending stare he shot back. "And the end result?" Hiruzen queried only to receive the bouncing roll of parchment between the "In" and "Out" stacks of paperwork he so loathed with every fiber of his being. His eyebrow quirked questioningly.

"He's in there… both pieces of him."

The Sandaime grimaced briefly before acknowledging the job well done with a curt nod. "The bounty will be credited to your estate, per the usual. The henchmen?"

Jiraiya stalled his response with a leisurely stretch once he realized that Konoha's spymaster wasn't going to be clued in on what his own spy had turned up necessitating Danzō's rapid liquidation, his lips smacking brazenly. "Already delivered to Ibiki's tender loving care and good riddance I say."

"Good, good." The older of the two took several deep puffs of his pipe and seemed to deflate. He would need to sanction an assault mission in tandem with Iron Country samurai in order to eliminate the secondary base Danzō maintained that far north. It would not due to sour the water with Mifune over rogue nin holed up in his territory any time soon.

"What of Tsunade then? Will she help us?"

At this, Jiraiya's cheeks puffed up releasing a lungful of air in one powerful gust, his face convulsing into an involuntary grimace. "She is withholding everything other than supporting the hospital, both her and Shizune. She wants to test him personally before she'll commit to more." The serious look in Jiraiya's eyes told the rest of the story; there was a lot of pain creeping around in the Slug Princess's closet, the abandonment of her son, and now grandson, bubbling to the surface at a very uncomfortable time.

How to unpack it all and begin the healing process Jiraiya knew was beyond the old man given the late hour. She wasn't the only one to lose loved ones, not by a long shot, but she had been the spoiled baby of very powerful shinobi that indulged her infantile temper leaving him to pick up the pieces. The exhausted Hokage by no means considered the rude awakening provided by the quick Nara an open and shut case, no way in hell. It would take more work to crack Tsunade's armor and he was running out of time to work on it. He could only hope Konoha had the resources to set her on the right track if things went sideways in the upcoming battle despite his sensei's reproving adage that, 'Hope was never a sure plan.'

He'd have to lay that puzzle to the side for just another night and sleep on it. Glancing up to see his one semi-reliable student dozing off in one of his office chairs, the old monkey figured they could both use a rest and a fresh start tomorrow.

"Get some sleep, Jiraiya. I'm going to need you in top form during the exams." Almost reflexively he raised a palm to forestall the Sannin's petulant wrath. "You and I both know that your research can wait until after. You are needed here." The hard glint in the Hokage's eyes halted more whining in its tracks.

"Get some rest and be back here in three days. We have much to discuss concerning your Godson."

With a very childish whine, the white-haired sage rose from his horrible posture and laboriously climbed out the same window he'd climbed in for the last twenty years.

~III~

~ Konohagakure no Sato, Market District ~

~*0*~

Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie. ~Miyamoto Musashi

~*0*~

Konoha at night, so long as their one and only festival wasn't in full swing, was a sedate affair. Nights were generally mild year-round, even in the winter, as the pervading weather. Anyone over the age of ten could perhaps remember two or three years where it actually snowed, and even those momentary distractions lasted little more than a week or two before melting into slush.

It had something to do with a number of geographical factors cataloged in the back of Naruto's brain, however, at the moment he gave absolutely no shits.

No, sitting idly at his favorite Ichiraku barstool was about the only thing he gave a shit about and it showed on his face clearly to his adopted second sister if to no one else.

Ayame's concerned peeks in his direction didn't do much to rouse him from his sudden bout of lethargy, his hands robotically stirring the tepid bowl with worn chopsticks tinted brown by the long-cooled miso broth. His eyes were still locked onto something she couldn't see, his once vibrant blue orbs dulled and unfocused. If it weren't for her father's firm noodle-kneading grip on her shoulder, she'd have been across the counter both hands a-slapping away at the unnecessarily somber Genin. It was not his way and, to be bluntly upfront about it, he'd been through enough crap in his life and she didn't think he deserved to wallow in much more of it.

He was finally a shinobi. He'd earned the respect of a growing number of other shinobi throughout the village, if their marginally increased rate of business to the lethal percentage of Konoha's population was any indication. Ayame was still unsure if Shizuka-sama's attention was a good thing but the jury was still out… for now. Still, The Daimyo of Snow, who just happened to be a famous actress, was also hot for him (she knew, she'd seen the hand-signed picture of the woman swapping lipstick with his cheek to prove it) and you couldn't beat that honestly. And don't get her started on his new status as an ambassador to the long-lost Land of Whirlpools.

So, why for the love of Kami was he sitting there like his life was over? She couldn't for the life of her understand why. Unfortunately, she couldn't afford to dwell on it much longer as three nin stepped under the flaps and into the stand proper, their conversation wrinkling her petite brows in displeasure.

~*0*~

"I don't get why you feel the urge to eat piss-water soup now," the larger of the three groused at their lone kunoichi as she plopped down onto a barstool next to the hunched back of a guy that looked awfully familiar from behind.

"It's not nice to insult other people's food, Ikeda. They might actually piss in it for you."

Ayame, from her position behind the bar, could see the standing youth's face scrunch up in annoyance. She had no idea of their history nor of the fact that the pretty redhead sitting next to her younger "brother" hated her teammates and made it a habit not to get personal with them opting for the formal last name and a very stiff shoulder. Using someone as your personal medical chew toy after murdering their mother and sole surviving family member tended to do that to people. His response also proved to sour her mood further almost to the point of taking up the other female's suggestion, no matter how unprofessional it would be.

"Hnh, might be an improvement."

This Shigeri wasn't overly large but he was tallest of the three and lean like a long-distance runner. "Just hurry it up Uz-," his eyes darted to the three other people in the stand and quickly labeled them as non-threatening, "…just hurry it up so we can get a good night's rest."

With Hari-kun taking the stool to her right, that left him nowhere close to be at hand. With a grunt, Shigeri turned his eyes to the admittedly wider back of the nin budged up to the bar and decided he'd stared off into space long enough.

"Oi! Time to give up the seat bud. Stopping crying in your bowl and hike it over!"

Surprisingly, the golden shock of hair didn't move.

"OI! Didn't you hear me Konoha trash?!" He reached forward and tapped the sullen figure on the shoulder once attempting to intimidate the youth.

Karin and Hari both looked over at the sullen face of her neighbor, a face that had been gradually coming back to life with the crass conversation around him, a face with brows knitting up as he turned to look over his right shoulder, pausing briefly on Karin's crimson orbs, before sliding off her face to lock up with the lean youth at his back.

Karin and Hari both shivered when that gaze slid past them, a sensation that hit Shigeri full-on making his right knee buckle momentarily before he could channel chakra to reinforce it. It also happened to make Karin's face flush a bright pink.

Once the blond with the impossibly blue eyes met his gaze, one hand resting on his right thigh with the chopsticks fisted in said hand, he stopped moving and stared. Simply stared.

Then the pressure began to build, Shigeri's shiver turning into a full case of the chills. Still, he stared but didn't move. He didn't blink or speak or breathe, from the looks of it. He just stared. What Shigeri found to be worse was that the longer his blond squatter stared the worse became that smothering sensation of pressure and hatred. It felt like his chest was being crushed by an enormous hand squeezing his upper body. That oppression then led to the gruesome images of Shigeri's death becoming increasingly graphic in nature, some involving the rather violent removal of his reproductive organs right before they were apparently shoved down his throat.

Now, the Kusa outsider was no stranger to KI. Exposure began for Kusa shinobi in the academy to build resistance, a practice carried on by their senseis as they fought their way up the ranks. Shigeri, now staring blankly into the angry blue storms this Konoha bum called eyes, couldn't look away and couldn't push back enough to make it stop. He'd tried to push his on meager KI back against the growing wall of angry energy making his entire body break out into cold sweats and idly thought uprooting one of those massive trees beyond this village's gates with his bare hands might have given him more success. Instead, he stood there and shivered as image after image of his own gruesome death, each more horrific than the last, flashed continuously before his eyes even as the red haze began to encroach on the edges of his vision.

When the still silent monster of a Genin broke eye contact and turned back to stirring his broth-filled bowl as if nothing had happened, Shigeri passed out on the floor of the small ramen stand and everyone else turned away to ignore him while they ate in peace.

The two Chunin Kunoichi watching silently from across the street noticed the growing spot of darkness on the crotch of the floored Genin and chuckled to each other. That would keep them entertained all the way back to Kusa if the team survived to the third stage of the exam.

The blond left after another ten minutes giving him just enough time to nod peacefully to the gob-smacked Kusa nins sharing the bar with him and stepped casually over the still unconscious blasphemer to Ichiraku's.

As his feet cleared the stand's perimeter, he vanished in a whirl of wind and leaves much to Hari's stunned surprise. Hari was so surprised, he failed to see the grin on Karin's face blossom into a full smile.

Ayame didn't, and she frowned wondering why so many females were suddenly interested in her adopted brother.

~*0*~

When the ferret-faced ANBU assigned with following Genin Uzumaki came out of his body flicker, he found himself standing in the middle of an empty intersection leading to the southwestern clan district. It was late and this part of town was definitely not on Uzumaki's normal wanderings since the destruction of his old apartment. It wouldn't have mattered anyway as the slums were in the southeastern part of the village, making a stop near the Hyūga Compound a bit suspicious considering the hour. Kenagaitachi, being the consummate professional that he was, sighed through the truncated hole that passed for a mouth on his mask and did his due diligence attempting to check over several of the nearby clan walls just to be safe.

To be sure, it was an effort in futility revealing nothing of use. This wasn't the first time the renegade Uzumaki had lost the fresh ANBU agent and, with a heaving sigh of frustration, Ferret conceded that it wouldn't be the last. He hadn't mastered his chakra sensing training yet, far from it to be honest, and that meant another tongue lashing from Tora-taichou. 'Oh, goodie.' It was like the Captain was losing money every time a shadow lost the ANBU initiate.

This time he groaned.

'Well, no other options left at this point.' Glancing about one last time, the silent gargoyle padded off to question the branch member security guards yet again pondering why the Genin's trail splintered off into three different directions.

So lost in his own future torment was poor Ferret that he missed the chuckling blond fading into view atop one of the newer clan compound walls directly behind him.

~*0*~

Three days R&R was standard following A-Rank and below missions, three days that Naruto clearly took very seriously making himself scarce from his entire academy year group, much to Shikamaru's ongoing annoyance. For those three days, each and every single one, Shikamaru found himself fending off the increasingly worried queries of his female teammate asking if he'd seen their wayward third member. Despite the very earnest glares sent her way from his favorite cloud watching hillock in the Nara herd pastures aside his trusty sidekick, Choji the Ravenous, this troublesome woman seemed incapable of understanding that he simply did not care. So, as he lay there, his left eyebrow twitching in barely contained aggravation, Shikamaru was beginning to wonder what extreme measures he could employ, short of maiming or injuring the constantly jabbering woman, to make her go away.

When she instead flopped down on the perfectly tended patch of grass beneath a clear Konoha sky, Shikamaru began dredging up and rapidly discarding some of his more risqué Ino defense plans hoping that she'd shut up long enough to get the hint.

For three days, he remained disappointed at her obtuse personality. For the first time in his life, Shikamaru was beginning to think doing his long-avoided chores might, just maybe, have been less trouble than dealing with his emotionally fragile teammate.

'Wherever you are, Naruto, I hope you realize how much you owe me for this.' With one final glance at the tormented face of his fellow kunoichi, the flustered Nara heir rose up from his reclined position and stomped off to his home with a final wave to his Akimichi partner in crime.

For her part, Ino huffed off once Choji waved a polite farewell not ten seconds later. Her sensei absolutely did not care about her personal life and that left only her former friend, Sakura. Swallowing that bitter pill, the platinum blond began the humiliating trek back across Konoha losing herself in a world of worry. It was in this world of inner turmoil that she found herself stuck behind a veritable wall of people as they lined the main artery leading into the Market District of Konoha.

Peeking over the shoulders of the shortest batch of people she could find, she found herself cursing angrily under her breath, so much so that a clearly disturbed mother of two small children slapped her palms over their burning ears and promptly shuffled them off to have a conversation about naughty words and what not to say in public.

There, sniping cattily with the still-new Daimyo of Snow Country, was the Nadeshiko princess, Shizuka of the Unnecessarily Big Boobs, as they strolled leisurely towards the Hokage Tower, not a care in the world. As her growing sense of insecurity reached critical mass, Ino Yamanaka summed up her roiling mass of emotions in a single vulgar thought.

'Well, shit.'

~*0*~

Thursday morning found a bleary-eyed Uzumaki being herded into the shower by a cheery-faced Yuki. Despite being half-awake following three peaceful days in seclusion, he was cognizant enough to keep his pajamas on long enough to push the helpful female out of the bathroom so that he could shower in peace.

Morning ablutions complete he padded heavily, all pretenses at stealth first thing in the morning long gone, into his room trying to ignore the merry humming coming from his persistent assistant. 'She probably remembers that I can hear her wolf-whistling in there…'

Finally dressed and seated to a big breakfast, the two chatted quietly about the upcoming exams and how she'd seen a team from Mizugakure prowling around during her Wednesday trip to the market, Haku's slender features suddenly very serious. Naruto, for his part, nodded once around a mouth full of eggs promising to be careful especially if one of them belonged to the Seven Swordsmen. He knew only the bare minimum of kenjutsu from whatever scrolls he could pirate from the Genin section of the library and that meant he'd be no challenge whatsoever.

A part of him almost wished he could have rescued Zabuza's sword from Nami just to tweak their noses, a comment he jokingly made out loud accompanied by several shoulder bouncing chuckles. It was at that moment that a sudden fire in Haku's normally docile eyes slowly strangled off his good humor right before Haku slid out of her chair, walked around to face him square on, then prostrated herself on the floor.

When he reached down to pick her up, he instead froze in place once she swore to serve him until death if he would liberate her master's sword from the thief that filched it from the head of Zabuza-sama's grave, a blue-skinned thief with pointed teeth now in Konoha with his Genin team for the exams.

Naruto blinked, then he swore softly, but Haku didn't rise until he promised to do all he could to properly recover the memento having no idea how that would go over with the Mizu delegation or his Hokage once he created an international incident. 'Didn't the sword belong to the Mist to begin with?'

While they cleaned dishes in comfortable silence, Naruto cut loose a clone to fetch his bracers, punch knives, and a single thigh pouch for scrolls. Today was just a team meeting, true, but he'd need to deal with his teammates, and, for some reason, he figured that would be worse than a C-ranked to Nami. Oh well, he'd have to make do with it for now. His goal was getting through the exams in one piece.

Stepping out into the well-polished wooden floor of his entryway, Naruto slapped on his comfortable black sandals to match the ANBU-styled trousers and sleeveless shirt, the armor mesh of his undershirt stopping halfway down his biceps. Tugging at the ties to his forehead protector, he paused long enough to wave goodbye to Haku before stepping outside of the modest two-story home he "inherited" with Mizuki's defeat; the Hokage finally pushed the Conquest paperwork through the damnable Council, or so he said.

It was one of the few good reasons why the Hokage needed to talk with him upon their return from Hanikamu; Mizuki was the last of his clan, just like Naruto.

Rights of Conquest were a double-edged nodachi but he wasn't complaining at the moment. With a brief push of chakra from his fingertips, he relocked the front door and glanced out over the heavily wooded area that made up his small lot of property nestled snugly between the old Hatake estate to the north, one of the current Konoha PD satellite stations to the east, and the Aburame Clan Compound to the south. It wasn't a huge lot as a clan compound went, especially when compared to most of the major clans (the Hirayoshi Clan wasn't big or powerful begin with and suffered further from declining numbers since the Second Shinobi War) boasting a small training plot in the back yard and a four-person onsen open to the night sky, but it was comfortably situated and could house five or six without undue hardship. Furthermore, the extinct clan didn't even provide much to Konoha's development other than their talent for traps, most notably puzzle traps. Mizuki's fondness for Fuma shuriken didn't even originate from his clan but from their family rival, the Fuma Clan, now defunct since the Kyūbi assault fifteen years ago.

No, what they lacked in notoriety they more than made up for in devious tactics (they were notorious in the Sapper Brigade), something Mizuki never really excelled at making him a bit of a family disappointment. More the pity that his family line ended with him making the clan's modest home and quarter acre of land in a heavily wooded section of Konoha now the property of one proudly beaming Uzumaki heir.

Hiding in plain sight, Naruto faded from view using his godfather's signature peeping jutsu and leaped over the nearest wall of his small compound to begin his trek Training Ground Ten and the team that used it.

He was not looking forward to the reunion.

~*0*~

The walk to Training Area Ten was peaceful, Naruto arriving just before their normal zero-eight start time. Mizuki's family home also afforded him an almost direct route to the worn field, his path wending well clear of the Thursday morning bustle of the Market District. The air was clear, the birds were singing, and he was enjoying the warming rays trying to cook away the brisk morning nip in the air. The morning felt good. It felt right. It felt good just to be.

That lasted until their normal training field came into view and he knew everything was going to turn to crap.

"NARUTO!"

Naruto hated it when he was right. Well, not always just when it involved irate women. An angry woman was a force of nature unto herself. Forget gaining a ledge in trying to defend yourself; every syllable becomes contentious and every counterargument a reason to become hostile. This tends to be the case more so when the woman, in particular, enjoys employment in your field of violent specialty so he did what he could to de-escalate the upcoming confrontation by stuffing his hands into his pockets and squaring his shoulders.

"Where have you BEEN?!" Ino's voice was raw, almost as charged as the pent-up energy hunching her back and turning her hands into claws.

She stared. He stared. There was lots of staring but not much talking at that point, the growing silence adding to the growing sense of dread.

Shikamaru, trying to quietly stay off to the side and focused on the peaceful clouds above his head rolled said head just enough to see the impending brouhaha. If he didn't know better, that was steamrolling off the angry girl's shoulders and, with a muffled grunt, the Nara heir thought better of getting involved as he rolled his neck around so that he could pick another cloud to analyze.

His actions did little to help ease anything, especially when Naruto, after a few choice moments to consider his options, opened his mouth to spit out a single word.

"Thinking."

When Asuma arrived two minutes later, promptly at the top of the hour per his custom, he arrived to a still laid out Shikamaru and a full-on streetfight between his other two students. The cigarette in his mouth fell out to bounce off of one well-heeled sandal, his mind trying to process the knock-down, drag-out scuffle turning into a furball of fists, feet, and the occasional kunai, all of which belonged or were attached to a livid Ino Yamanaka.

"Shika!" he barked out.

"Hnh?" Asuma took a chance and flicked his eyes to confirm the lazy bastard hadn't moved.

"How long have they been going at it?"

"Not long," came the unemotional response.

"Hnh." Asuma flicked his eyes back to the two lovers going all out to maim each other. 'Ouch, those were going to leave bruises on both of them.' "Shika."

This time the older nin's voice carried a tone of authority that forced the unengaged nin to sigh heavily and mutter his favorite word with utter disdain. His hands flew together almost lazily before his shadow shot out from beneath the shade of leaves keeping him cool. The end result was predictable as the competitors froze mid-lung-punch-kick providing both non-contestants with their first full look of the other two.

"Someone want to explain to me why I'm about to rescind this team's recommendation to the Chunin Exams?"

~III~

Omake: Family Reunion

The Uzumaki Lottery was effectively underway with the bewildered blond, plus his entire clan estate, being the grand (and sole) prize.

Standing against the wall behind the Hokage, three powerful shinobi resisted the urge to lay waste to the entire civilian Council. Anko wept silently even as her teeth ground painfully together.

Beneath her mask, Keina Uzumaki cursed everyone and everything in the village, her tears hidden from everyone around her, as she flickered away appearing inside the once-abandoned home of her deceased sister and brother-in-law. There she tore the ANBU mask from her face, collapsed to the floor, then vented her tears free from the greedy people and cowardly shinobi she'd sworn to protect in the name of her beloved nephew.

How long she sat sprawled there as the tears streamed down her face, she would never be able to recall but a familiar burning on her left forearm snapped her from her melancholy.

Swiping the tracks from her face with a sleeved arm, she then yanked the sleeve back and away to reveal a spiral tattoo with seven tails, each one formed out of chain-links with a number etched in the center of each link, each chain linked to a center ring with the kanji for Uzushio in the center. Her eyes narrowed at first in anger then in confusion as the link holding the number one was glowing a solid red, the second link holding the number two beginning to pulse shortly thereafter. She gasped and leaped from the floor and into a corner just as the front door opened and closed with a gentle click.

She dared not breathe.

Into the still dark living room walked her nephew, the blond-haired Genin glancing about the central sitting area as he took in the pristine surroundings. Her eyes took in his calm posture, the deep blue eyes that reminded her of that older blond bastard, and the handsome features that mirrored her own so well. She almost broke then, almost stepped from the shadows before she realized her face was bare, a hand coming up to touch her cheeks as her eyes shot to the carpet where her mask and balaclava lay just two paces from the boy's feet.

When he turned away to glance at the far side of the room, she nearly darted from the shadows thinking she could make it and flash away before he noticed her. She dropped that notion almost immediately as her scarlet bangs fluttered in front of her face. No matter how fast she moved, his eyes were keen enough to pick up the red streak her hair would leave behind, and she suppressed a groan.

When he walked directly over to her discarded mask and hefted it into the air showing he knew exactly who it belonged to, she swore like a sailor (all in her head of course).

"Come out, Dragon, and explain to me why you're hiding out in my ancestral home before I report this to the Hokage and bring you up on theft of clan property," he challenged, the mask disappearing as he sealed it into a mark on his right forearm.

She cursed… inwardly.

Knowing the jig was finally up, the still emotionally wrecked woman briefly considered fleeing to face the Hokage rather than dealing with her angry nephew. In the end, she chose to face the horrible music before stepping out of the shadows as the boy's glowing eyes flickered to her form, his eyes growing enormous in the dark.

"Hey Sochi," she called out wearily. "It's gonna be hard accusing your aunt of stealing from your clan." A heavy thud was the boy's only answer as Naruto landed flat on his back, out like a light, and it was enough to make her blink in surprise.

'Hnh, that went well.' With a sigh, she walked over to his prone body to pull his head and shoulders into her lap. She would stay as long as it took to see this through seeing as they would have much to talk about once he came around. Well, once they worked through his anger.

She had a feeling there would be lots of that as she began running her fingers through his incredibly soft hair.

~III~