Ibuki: Disclaimer! The author does not own any of the material appearing in the story. The OC's belong to their respective owners!
"Hey, I'm Grif from Red vs Blue."
"And I'm Simmons from the same show."
"And today, we'll be talking to you about-"
Suddenly, a Rocket League RC car came driving over, and attached to it was a plate of pizza. "-Pizza?" Grif asked, staring at it.
"Grif. No. You gotta be strong."
The RC car drove off with the pizza. "NO! COME BACK HERE, RC PIZZA!" Grif ran after it.
"GRIF NO!" Simmons yelled as he chased after him.
Makoto walked in with Chiaki behind her. "See? Told you it'd work." Makoto said.
"I'll be darned…" Chiaki mused.
"Now just gotta put this on auto pilot…" Makoto pressed a button and then tossed the controller away. "Anywho, hi, I'm Makoto Nijima from Persona 5."
"And I'm Chiaki Nanami from the Danganronpa series~! Hello!" She cheerfully waved.
"And today… we're tackling a big one here. It's microtransactions."
BGM: Battle! Chairman Rose (Pokemon Sword/Shield)
PSA: Microtransactions (And Gacha)
"Okay, so apparently, things got a whole lot worse after I died." Chiaki said. "I come back and I hear microtransactions, lootboxes, gacha… all of this has skyrocketed, Konami's doing some kind of lotto thing with their IPs… good gravy." She rubbed the back of her head. "This is what I come back to?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Makoto nodded.
"Ooooh, that's just sad." Chiaki sighed.
"So anyway, microtransactions…" Makoto shook her head. "Okay, so normally you'd see this in mobile games-"
End BGM
BGM: Overworld Map (Pokemon GO)
"And of course, mobile games would have in-game purchases. It's understandable for a free to play game. You gotta get your money somewhere. Right, Chiaki? …Chiaki?" She turned her head to see Chiaki on her phone.
"Oh! There's an Unown here! I was looking everywhere for that."
Makoto sweatdropped. "That explains the music change. Ahem… Chiaki?"
"Huh? What? Oh! Right… yeah, like if you want to get some coins to buy items in Pokemon Go, you gotta use some real world cash. It's a bit steep if you want to buy a whole pack but it's not that bad… buuuut you can also get coins if you have your Pokemon in a gym, so it's optional if you want to buy coins or just snag a few from the gym depending on how long you have your Pokemon ther-… oh come on, I had Forretress in there for five minutes! Stupid Team Valor…"
Confessional - Ruby
"Heheheh, and now my precious Houndoom is guarding Peach's Castle~! Team Valor for the win!"
End Confessional
"Anyway, if you use microtransactions correctly, it wouldn't be so intrusive. That said however… some people like to abuse microtransactions and make it absolutely predatory for small children who like to play these games." Makoto pulled out her phone. "You see this? This is Mario Kart Tour! THIS is how NOT to do microtransactions! Seriously, you get a few gems each day but that's not enough for pulling and I REFUSE to pay twenty seven bucks just so I can pull ten items from a pipe… and more than likely, I'll just get a few repeats. I do NOT need another Donkey Kong for the umpteenth time! Ugh… who the hell thought this was a good idea…"
Chiaki put her phone away. "Anyway, there is a solution for this problem in Mario Kart Tour. Futaba brought this up earlier and I think she had a good idea."
"Yeah, she did."
Confessional - Futaba
"Okay, so it's really simple for my proposed idea. You have three gachas: Karts, Gliders and Characters. All three of them use in game currency: One roll uses coins and the Ten Roll uses rubies. At the same time, everything in the gacha can also be purchased with purchased with real money… soooo, the gacha and microtransactions are both exclusive options. Here's the kicker though: If you already have a Kart/Glider/Character, it will be taken out of the gacha so you won't be able to roll it again that way. Plus, you can level up your kart/glider/character at your own pace rather than getting a clone of what you already had. In essence, as you get more things, it becomes easier to get the items you actually want in the gacha. So you can take the slow, patient path to get what you want, or you can buy what you want either way. You're guaranteed to get it eventually."
Futaba smiled. "What do you think? Pretty ingenious, no? Hope someone takes this to heart!"
Confessional - Kamek
"I told His Greediness something similar to that but he was all, and I quote: "Let's make it like this. I want to hear people scream in frustration because it's music to my non-existent ears. Bwahahahaha"." Kamek shook his head. "Sometimes I worry about him."
End Confessional
"I will say though, you do get free rubies once a tour. It's dependant on your score however." Makoto said. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's not enough though…"
"There's also a tier rank which unlocks a rotating shop that lets you buy things for coins. Some tours have event shops that have you use green coins to buy from." Chiaki chimed in.
"Oh yeah, coins… really stupid expensive way to buy a character you want. 15K coins just to buy a character off of the High end? WHAT THE HELL! Sheesh… just give us Mario Kart 9 or 10 already!" Makoto complained.
"We have the Season Pass for 8 Deluxe, we'll manage." Chiaki patted her on the shoulder while Makoto folded her arms with a grumble.
"At least we're getting Coconut Mall out of this." Makoto mumbled. "Anyway, microtransactions on mobile games? It's understandable. A bit greedy, but it's understandable… can't say the same for console games… ACTIVISION."
"Oh boy… here we go." Chiaki grimaced, taking a step back as she would look through her menus. Let's see, what would calm the savage beast here…
End BGM
"Don't get me STARTED on what Activision's doing! Yeah, you want a decal on that sniper rifle of yours in Call of Duty? Fork over fifty bucks and it's yours! A decal! A STUPID DECAL! Oh, but what if you want to customize your gun, add a cute little feature! That's five bucks! How is a scope worth five bucks yet a decal is fifty?! I just… I just don't understand! Don't get me started on paint jobs, those are probably like SEVENTY BUCKS! Oooh, but then we get to the good stuff. The loot boxes where it gets even MORE predatory! I wonder who I'm gonna drag to the ground this time… EA!"
Chiaki looked at the screen. "You'd think I'd get heated over this? Yeah, it's frustrating but I don't get easily angry that much." She said.
"Let's have a little talk about Star Wars Battlefront II!" Makoto exclaimed. "Oh, let's see… those lootboxes are pretty predatory! I'm surprised they haven't been sued to the ground over this! I mean, they have, but the sad thing is, they can afford it! Oh, and let's not forget about what they did with Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader!"
Chiaki paled. "Come on, come on… give me something that can calm her down." She said, looking through her menus. "Come on… where are you?!"
"You have to play twenty hours of gameplay just so you can unlock either one and then ANOTHER twenty hours to get the other! What was EA's excuse? Oh wait, I know! It was to make players have a sense of "pride and accomplishment". You know what, EA? I'LL GIVE YOU SOME PRIDE AND ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT HERE!" A fiery aura surrounded Makoto. "RAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Oh crap! OH CRAP!" Chiaki panicked.
We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by
Confessional - Ann
"That's not even without mentioning all the other stuff added in EA mobile games. Plants Vs Zombies 2, the sequel to an incredibly fun game, filled to the brim with micro transactions, premium content that you need to pay for to enjoy more of the game, ads every couple of minutes and a very slow levelling system for the plants. And it's not the only one, just look at any phone game made by EA in the App Store. Long waiting times before you can do anything fun, premium content. But at least they don't use ads that lie to your face by showing parts of a game, that aren't in the game. Oh hi, Merge Mansion and Lily's Garden."
Confessional - Junko
"Ya know, if I had started the tragedy a few years later, I probably would've had used microtransactions and gacha to my advantage. Probably would've made a lot of gamers despair… however, considering the fact I'm no longer sleeping with despair all the time… I'm just gonna go out and say: "What the hell is wrong with these people"? Like, come on… and I thought forking over sixty bucks for a game was a bit much. …Seriously, how isn't Chiaki despairing over this, I'll never know."
Confessional - Snatcher
"Hmm… this actually gives me an idea. Hold that thought!" He went underground right after.
End Confessional
"You feel better?" Chiaki asked.
"Yes." Makoto nodded, taking a deep breath while wearing headphones.
Chiaki giggled. "I'm having her listen to some peaceful and tranquil Zelda songs. Definitely calms the savage beast. Anyway, we kinda have to blame Blizzard for the revival of Loot Boxes on Overwatch here. They kinda started this whole mess buuuuut you do get free ones every time you level up and when a new event starts, so it's not too bad. I mean, it's just skins, voice clips and sprays… it doesn't really enhance the gameplay at all so hey, good on them!" She smiled. "Can't say the same for TF2. Yes. I'm counting this game because the Crates are technically lootboxes. Sure, the weapons, taunts, hats and what not are cheap for like… five bucks, but it's still kinda scummy in a way."
She let out a chuckle. "Anyway, allow me to talk about gacha for a second. We briefly touched on that with Mario Kart Tour, but Gacha is basically like a slot machine. You never know what you're going to get and there's plenty of times where you're going to get the same character.. Same with loot boxes… it's gambling. To list some examples on Gacha: Mario Kart Tour, Genshin Impact, which reminds me, I need to look into that soon, Pokemon Masters EX, Fire Emblem Heroes, or as I jokingly call it: Porn Emblem. Seriously, have you SEEN the character renders lately?" She giggled. "That's just to name a few gachas. Sure, not all gacha are the same, but I strongly advise that you don't fall into this pitfall where you have to have this one character and you waste a lot of cash just for this character. I'd rather just play the waiting game and use my money on something else, ya know?"
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Makoto yelled.
"What is it?" Chiaki turned her head, seeing that she was looking through her phone.
"Read this!" She said, giving it to Chiaki.
"Breaking news: Electronic Arts goes bankrupt after the CEO blindly agrees to the contract. The CEO states he thought it'd bring more money. Electronic Arts will soon cease to exist and all games that have microtransactions will be forced to eliminate the cash and make them free of charge. All players who purchased items and loot boxes in these games will receive a massive refund." Chiaki read and then blinked. "…Huh?"
Confessional - Snatcher
"Heheheh. You're welcome. The CEO is a FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"
End Confessional
"EA… just closed its doors…" Makoto said as she clasped her hands, crying tears of joy. "Finally! Now we don't have to worry about their bullshit anymore! Now let's hope Activision gets the same fate!"
"…Wait, if that happens, Blizzard goes with them."
Makoto sighed. "I know…"
"Anywa-… wait… where did this TV come from?" Chiaki wondered, noticing a cart had rolled in with a flat screen TV.
Not only did the TV flick on by itself, a pair of hands would reach out of it...and feeling around trying to see if there was solid ground. When the figure stuck their head out of the TV, they'd fall over and hit the floor face first.
"Owwwww..." It was Flash!
"Flash?" Makoto looked at him.
"Hang on." Chiaki flipped through her menus and then Curaga on him.
"Thank you." He shook himself off as he stood up from the floor.
Confessional - Flash
"I...never really liked gacha games. At all. I always viewed them as some cash grab thing meant to view players as ATMs, and never really found them fun. That's why I'm here. As for the TV thing? Hopefully I gave some of you a good scare?"
End Confessional
"Why'd you come out of the TV?" Chiaki wondered.
"...Why did it remind me of-" Makoto froze in fear, looking both ways before hiding behind Chiaki. "Don't tell me she's here!"
Chiaki let out a chuckle. "Relax. I don't think he'll hurt you."
"Sadako isn't coming out of the TV too, before you ask," Flash assured the Phantom Thief. "As a kid I used to think Sonic would do the same...anyway, what's the topic?"
"Microtransactions and Gacha. I've already calmed Makoto down once."
"Glad EA went out of business all of a sudden..."
"Okay!" Addressing the camera, Flash would sport a smile. "So, you wanna play a gacha game. First thing's first, content creators are your friend, do your research with this. I know I say this a lot, but that can be used for a LOT of things. Like just the other day I had it put on a billboard."
Shy Guy drove across Coconut Mall. "...What the..." He screeched to a halt and backed up, seeing a billboard. "Do your research on games...?" What does that even mean?"
"This will especially be useful if you want to go free to play - some games are more free to play friendly than others, so don't go blindly charging into a game that looks cool without any idea on how much pay to win you have to do."
"Mhm." Chiaki nodded in agreement.
"Secondly, if you aren't going to go totally free to play, set a budget for yourself," Flash continued. "Don't be like that one idiot who whaled two grand for Hector around FE Heroes' first year in its lifespan, only spend money on the game if you can afford it. Otherwise, don't bother."
Chiaki's eyes widened in shock. "This guy did what?!"
"Ooooh, that's right... I forgot about that." Makoto grimaced.
Chiaki looked back to the screen, with a "What the heck is wrong with this person?" look.
"And to wrap it all up, some games are beatable without having to spend a dime on it. Those content creators I mentioned earlier? They no doubt make guides for all the units, all the hottest tips, and everything you could ever want to know," Flash added with a smirk. "So do yourself a favor and study up with content creators who know what they're talking about. Otherwise if you get someone who suggests to whale for everything, you might have to take out a loan eventually."
"Yeah... let's try not to drain your entire bank account." Makoto agreed.
"Unless we wanna be like that one mafia guy you took down..."
Makoto let out a sinister chuckle. "Worth it."
"And that's all from - wait, hold on a second." Flash paused, thrusting his right hand out to intercept an attack with a light blue circle and kanji character reading 'Curse' blocking said attack.
A Beowolf Grimm looked at Flash in surprise, letting out a confused growl.
Without wasting much time, Flash would stare at the Beowolf in a way Makoto would recognize. "Pathetic." He spoke in a low voice to the Beowolf.
"Mmph..." Makoto shrunk back with a whimper.
"Whoa..." Chiaki said with intrigue as the Grimm let out a yelp and ran away.
"Anyway, that's all from me! See ya later!" He climbed back into the TV, with some help from Chiaki, then a Boo popped in and pushed the cart away with a laugh.
"Why did you help him climb back into-"
"Oh, he looked like he needed some assistance." Chiaki smiled.
"I see… well, in any case-" Makoto's phone went off. "Hmm?" She wondered as she pulled it out.
"Anyway, to wrap this up. Just take Flash's advice and try not to drain your entire bank accou-"
"WHAT?!" Makoto yelled.
"Huh?" Chiaki turned her head to see Makoto fuming. "Uh oh… bring it over. I wanna see what's got you so upset." She said as Makoto handed it over. "Let's see… oh, Chocobo GP? I've been meaning to play that one. Let's see… oooh, mythril is being used as microtransactions here. Oh dear, that's pretty bad… but I'm sure it's not that bad, you get some daily Mythril."
"Keep reading…"
"Let's see… Cloud and Squall are in a seasonal pass… okay… wait, what's this?" Chiaki read through it with her eyes widening in horror. "The mythril can expire?! Microtransactions with expiration dates?! This is a premium currency that can be bought with real money and it vanishes after five mo-… wha-… I… what…"
Chiaki put the phone down, looking absolutely floored. "I… I have no words…" She would soon feel herself getting warmer. "…Why do I feel like I'm next to a campfi-… oh no." She turned around to see Makoto fuming with rage. "Uh… aheheheh… Makoto… ju-just calm down…" She backed up nervously.
"Rrrrrrgh… RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAREEEEEE!"
"Blame the people who thought this was a good idea, not the company!" Chiaki exclaimed, flailing her arms in a panic.
Confessional - Sonic
"Sweet merciful…" He looked through his phone in shock. "I wonder how Cloud and the others are handling it?"
Confessional - Luminary
"I'm sorry… microtrans… action…? I don't get it."
Confessional - Sora
"How come… how could… I… WHAT. AAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed in frustration.
Confessional - Cloud
"…Sometimes, I hate working for this company. First it's NFTs and now it's this monstrosity. Ai yai yai…"
End Confessional
"Woo! Finally got the pizza!" Grif walked over.
"Uh… why is Makoto angry?" Simmons asked as Makoto turned her head to glare at the two.
"…Uh… should we run?"
"COME HERE, I NEED TO PUNCH OUT MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON SOMEONE!"
"Run. RUN!" Simmons yelled as the two took off running.
"GET BACK HERE!" Makoto chased after them.
"Uuuuuh…" Chiaki looked to the screen. "This has been Chiaki Nanami and I'm gonna try to calm Makoto down." She would the go through her menus and then Minecraft Diamond armor surrounded her entire body.
"AAAAAAAAGH!"
"Wish me luck!" She then ran off. "Makoto! Stop using Simmons as a hammer for Grif's crotch!"
Ibuki: *shakes head* Microtransactions... gacha... man, that blows.
Tell me about it. Anyway, this idea was proposed by MasterMX on Discord! Thanks for the idea, bud!