Ibuki: Disclaimer! The author does not own any of the material appearing in the story. The OC's belong to their respective owners!
"Howdy! Name's Sarge from Red vs Blue."
"And I'm Epsilon."
"And today-"
"Hey Sarge!" Grif came running in.
"Grif, can't you see we're doing a PSA here?"
"Yeah, but Coconut Mall is about to get crowded! We need to get in there now before we lose anything special from the wild stampede!"
"Oh shoot, right now?"
"Yes!'
"Come on, Church! We've got a moment to lose!" He grabbed Epsilon's arm.
"Okay, but I seriously think we need to do this PSA-" Sarge yanked him away. "-FIIIIIIIIRST!"
"I'll be with you in a moment! I just need to catch my breath from all that running." Grif said.
"That's fine, we'll leave you to the pack of wild animals!"
"That's fine…"
Once they were out of earshot…
"Heheheh… I can't believe they fell for it." He took off his helmet, revealing to be none other than the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom herself, and took the voice modifier off her throat, then shed the armor.
"There we go, much better~!"
She turned to the screen and waved gracefully at the camera. "Hello, everyone! I am Princess Peach Toadstool from the Super Mario series. It is an honor that I am the host of this PSA." She did a graceful bow.
"For today's topic, I thought I might show the importance of a certain holiday that everyone likes to celebrate… well, if your region celebrates it that is." She giggled. "I present to you:"
PSA: Thanksgiving
"Now, without further delay, allow me to-"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"...Oh no. Not now." Peach groaned as Bowser landed on the ground next to her.
"Princess Peach! You are coming with-" He noticed the camera. "...What are you doing?"
"A PSA."
"Ah, I see. Well, here's a PSA for ya! I'm kidnapping Princess Peach and I don't care if it's on camera! BWAHAHAHAHA!" He grabbed Peach and hopped in his Koopa Clown Car.
"Aw come on, can't this wait?!" Peach complained.
"Nope!" Bowser flew off, much to Peach's annoyance.
"...Uh… good thing I'm a Lakitu." The cameraman said and flew off after them.
Later, at Bowser's Castle…
"Ugh… it never fails, no matter what event I'm doing, you always find a way to crash it." Peach said, tapping her fingers on his shell while her chin was pressed against her fist in her other hand.
"I have a knack for that."
"Of course you do." Peach mumbled as Bowser placed Peach down.
"There you are, my dear!"
"...Uh… this isn't my normal cage." Peach looked around. "In fact… this is your kitchen." Peach turned to Bowser. "What kind of scheme is this?"
BGM: Have a Nice Talk (Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story plus Bowser Jr's Journey)
"Ah… well… how do I put this?" Bowser awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "All my kitchen staff took the holiday off, that also includes Cinder since Bowsette decided to take her to Delfino for the holiday. As you can see… no pies or other food is being made."
"Sooooo… why not do it yourself? You know how to cook food, right?"
"With my fire breath, yes!"
Peach sweatdropped. "You mean to tell me… you never used an oven."
"Come on! I'm busy coming up with plans to kidnap ya! Who has time for ovens and stuff? That's what the castle staff is for!"
"...Okay, but, even I took the time to learn how to cook and bake." Peach said. "Heck, even Daisy knows how whip up some delicious food. And you don't?"
Bowser poked his fingers together. "Aheheheh…"
Peach sighed. "So this is why you kidnapped me? Just to make a good Thanksgiving meal?"
"Pretty much. I want to make it special for Junior."
"Aww!" Peach smiled. "That's so sweet! Well, you have the right woman for the job!" She immediately pulled out an apron, put her hair into a ponytail and put on a chef hat. "Alright! Mashed potatoes, gravy, yams, stuffing, a giant turkey and dinner rolls are a go! Oh, and we gotta have a vegetable tray in there too. Gotta have something healthy in there!"
Bowser sweatdropped. "Ya don't have to ruin the meal, ya know."
Peach looked into the fridge. "Let's see… what to drink. Champagne, wine, Whacka Juice… ah, Chuckola Cola! Perfect!" She pulled out a large bottle of it. "Bowser, can you go get a turkey for me? We must make this perfect for Junior!"
"You got it, Peach!" He took off running.
Confessional - Umber
"Why the hell didn't he ask me? I'm a great cook! Seriously, I cook up a lot of great meals for me and my girlfriends. Sheesh… how many times do I have to remind him that I'm a cook too?" He folded his arms in annoyance. "Bonehead…"
End Confessional
"So! While I'm busy preparing Thanksgiving dinner for the big guy, I might as well go back into what I was going to do earlier. You see, Thanksgiving is a time to gather around, enjoy a meal with the family, a nice peaceful gathering to reflect on the year that you had, whether it'd be chaotic or chill, this is a time for reflection and peace… wait, I might be confusing that for Christmas. Eh, same deal, really."
Peach chopped up some apples. "Prepping Thanksgiving meals is no easy feat. It's not as easy as making a sandwich. There's a lot of prep time for it too. Baking pies, making sure the turkey is perfect and safe to eat, making lots and lots of dinner rolls… it's time consuming, so please be sure to thank the cook because they put a lot of effort into making some dinner." She added the apples into a pie crust.
"Now then, Thanksgiving is also a time to be thankful for what you have. Friends, family, your pets… whatever it is that you're thankful for. Be sincere about it! It's a time for feeling gratitude after all!"
Peach giggled. "Personally, I'm thankful for the wonderful friends I've made. Mario, Luigi, Daisy, Team RWBY, JNPR, Marnie-"
"Let me guess, you're also thankful for Mario saving you from Bowser, right?" The cameraman asked, causing Peach to blush a deep red.
"Well, um… k-kinda, yeah…!" She stammered.
"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!"
"Huh?" Peach turned her head to see a turkey bursting into the kitchen in a panic… which was also on fire. "WHAT THE?!"
"Get back here, you little devil!" Bowser chased it.
"Why is a turkey running around while on fire?!"
"Isn't that what people do when they roast a turkey?"
"NO! You get one from the store! It's already dead and prepped for consumers!"
"Why do they do that? Wouldn't the turkey rot?"
"It's in a freezer, it'll be fine!"
BANG!
CRASH!
"Grab that turkey! It's making a mess in the kitchen!"
"I don't have my fire proof oven mitts with me!"
The turkey kept running around, making a mess of things while on fire… and then started running toward the camera.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT, DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! AAAAAAAAAAH!"
We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by
End BGM
Confessional - Palutena
"This reminds me of the time when I tried my hand for a Thanksgiving meal. Typically, we don't celebrate it, but I thought I might give it a try…" She let out a sigh. "The turkey was ruined…"
"It was one time!"
"Yeah, and your lightning bolt also made the mashed potatoes explode, Zeus!"
Palutena turned toward the camera. "So uh… moral of the story, don't let Zeus cook anything for you."
"Hey!"
Confessional - Gloria
"Thanksgivin'? We don't normally celebrate that. That said, I'm thankful for my friends, my girlfriend, my Pokemon, my mum, my bro… yeah, that's pretty much it, I guess."
Confessional - Arceus
"Thanksgiving… Personally, I'm not a fan of the holiday." He let out a grumble. "You make a perfectly good turkey Pokemon and this is the thanks I get? Ugh… they were such cute Pokemon too…"
End Confessional
Meanwhile, at Coconut Mall…
"Nice of you three to join us." Sarge said to Scout, Soldier and Engineer. "Shame the others don't celebrate it."
"Ah, it's fine." Engi said.
"We'll make 'em celebrate it someday!" Soldier said.
"Ya can't force a holiday on someone!" Scout told him.
"Yes, you can! That's how Americans do it all the time!"
"...Oh boy…" Simmons shook his head as they walked through Coconut Mall as everyone was busy going crazy over the shopping.
"Glad we decided to come early. Heaven knows what'll happen if we got here later!" Donut said as they went into a store.
"Ah, here we are, the electronics department!" Sarge said as they walked around, and then Sarge gasped when he saw an item. "Oh. My. God! They have Playstation Fives here! Finally, we don't have to pay a dime on those scalpers!"
As soon as he walked over to grab it, another hand reached over to grab it, both of them touching the box as Sarge looked to see who it was.
Tex.
BGM: ROBOTS! (Team Fortress 2)
"...Uh oh." Simmons whimpered.
"Ah shit!" Tucker groaned.
"No!" Grif whimpered.
"Tex. Get your filthy paws off of this PS5! I saw it first."
"In your dreams, pal. You can get the next one."
"Nuh uh! This one's mine!"
"Can we talk about this for a second?" Donut asked.
"I'm not going to ask you again, Sarge. Let. Go."
"Make me."
Within seconds, Tex yanked Sarge forward and spun him around. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sarge yelled as he let go, slamming into several large screen TVs. Tex put the PS5 down on a shelf filled with RC cars.
"Alright." She pounded her fist into her palm. "Who's next?"
End BGM
BGM: On Your Knees (Red vs Blue)
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Soldier yelled, rocket jumping into the air and firing rockets at her, but she proceeded to punch the rockets away, where one smacked into Soldier. "Aaargh!" He landed right into some electronic mopeds.
Tex turned around and saw everyone flanking her… all the while Engineer decided to walk outside and head to the food court.
Tucker charged at Tex and slashed her, but she weaved out of the way, turning her head and picked up a Wii Remote and nunchuck as she held the nunchuck while twirling around the Wii Removed and swung it down into Tucker. "Ow! Ooof!" He grunted as he countered and severed the wire, causing the Wii Remote to fly… and slammed into Grif's crotch.
"AAAAGH!"
Scout charged at her from the side and tackled her into an aisle, punching her in the face but Tex kicked him off and pulled out an RC Helicopter as she proceeded to chase him down. "Uh oh!" He took off running, grabbing an electronic snowglobe and threw it at the helicopter… however, said snowglobe had a Super Mushroom on it and once it shattered and hit the helicopter, it caused it grow bigger.
The propeller blades proceeded to rip everything around it, which damaged said blades as Tex jumped up and kicked the tail end of the helicopter, making it tilt forward as Scout screamed and made a run for it, all the while the helicopter ripped through the electronic store.
Tex turned around as Lopez and Donut attacked her, but Tex slammed the controls into Lopez to shove him into motorized toy cars as Donut kicked her, but Tex grabbed his leg and threw him into the video game section.
"Uuuuungh…" Donut groaned as Tex reached into the glass and pulled out a Virtual Boy as she proceeded to bludgeon Donut with it, but he split his legs as the Viritual Boy shattered upon impact, only for Tex to beat Donut up with one of the legs and shoved him into the Xbox One game aisle.
"Oh hey! Halo Infinite!" Donut threw it at Tex, but she caught it and threw it into his head to knock him out. "D'oh!"
Tex then grabbed another PS5 box, which she opened it up and gave the console to a kid. "Here you go, kid."
"Oh sweet! Yay!" The kid smiled and ran off happily while Tex swung the empty box down into Simmons, punching a hole through it as she then punched him in the head to send him into more flat screen TVs and destroyed a few DVD cases in the process.
Tex grabbed a hold of an RC controller that had "Rocket League" written on the top of the controller and proceeded to activate it, where a car boosted off the shelf as it went straight for Grif.
"Uuuugh…" Grif groaned as he got back up, only for the Rocket League car to get underneath his foot and took him for a drive. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled. "OUT OF MY WAY, COMING THROUGH!" He yelled as the car went underneath a shelf as Grif slammed into it and fell on his back… and then a racket filled with electronic scooters came crashing down on him, where Tex used the same car to slam it into a shelf, knocking it over and caused a domino effect until another shelf, filled with Switches, PS4s, and Xbox Series X consoles fell on top of Grif… one of which the latter slammed right into his crotch.
"YAAAAAAAGH!"
Tex turned around, facing Epsilon in front of her. "You and me, Epsilon."
"Bring it." Epsilon squared up as the two of them proceeded to face off in hand to hand combat… and by hand to hand, I mean Tex punched Epsilon into some flat screen TVs, where Tex walked over to him and noticed one TV wasn't damaged in the fight.
"Huh?" Tex looked at the TV in question, noticing that it was advertising Google Stadia… so she picked up the TV and swung it down into Epsilon to destroy it and knock him out.
End BGM
"Glad we had this talk." Tex said as she walked over to the PS5 that she had put up.
"Excuse me." A cashier poked Tex on the shoulder as she turned around, seeing the cashier having an annoyed look on her face while handing her a receipt that covered the damages. "You break it, you buy it."
Tex looked over at the receipt. "...Motherfucker."
"Hey guys!" Caboose walked into the store with Wheatley, as he was holding two stuffed animals.
"Good heavens, what happened in here?!" Wheatley wondered.
"What do you think Hiyoko would like more? The unicorn or the stuffed bunny?"
"Uuuuuungh."
"You're right. She'll like the unicorn more!"
Meanwhile, at the Red and Blue base…
Washington noticed several ambulances rushing toward Coconut Mall. "And that is why you don't shop during Black Friday."
"Personally, I prefer Cyber Monday. It's much less chaotic." Carolina said, noticing Zoey walking by with a cart filled with goods. "...Zoey?"
"I decided to do some shopping for my charges."
Earlier…
Zoey snuck past all through the chaos happening in the electronic store, grabbing a few items. "Let's see… Chloe wants a Switch, Camrin wants… oh right, he wanted this."
Zoey ducked and grabbed a 2DS XL while Tucker went flying past her as she grabbed it and then walked around the store, snatching up a remote controlled Teddiursa. "Oh, these two will love it!"
She turned around and ducked past the chaos. "Here we are, I'd like to purchase these for-"
"It's on the house! Go before it's too late!"
"You sure?"
"Yes!"
With a nod, Zoey ducked her way through the chaos and ran out of Coconut Mall.
In the present…
"Piece of cake~!" Zoey smiled and walked off.
"...She's lucky." Washington said.
Back at Bowser's Castle…
"Phew… okay, we got everything we need!" Peach said as she heard footsteps as they saw Umber walking in with a PS5.
"Umber, my boy! You actually got one?" Bowser asked.
"Sure did! Managed to snag a few games too!" Umber said. "You should've seen the electronics store, it was a war zone in there."
Earlier…
"I'll take this." Umber snagged a PS5 and put it in the cart as he walked over to snag some games, and then Donut slammed into the game aisle, shattering the glass. Umber looked both ways before snagging a few PS5 games. "Let's see… Spider-Man, Ratchet and Clank, Horizon Forbidden West… that'll do!"
He quickly hightailed it out of there, Mirroring anything that came his way as he walked out right as Zoey ran out as well.
In the present…
"That's my guy!" Bowser said. "Quick, hide them in your room. I want to surprise Junior for Christmas!"
"Already on it, big guy!" Umber headed off to his room. "By the way, Peach… you look a little frazzled!"
"...It's a long story…" Peach mumbled, her hair having seen better days while shooting Bowser a dirty look.
"What? We got the turkey situated, didn't we?"
"I suppose…" Peach mumbled.
Ding!
"Ah, the pies are done!" Peach said, pulling them out of the oven and smelling them. "Delicious~!" She smiled as she put them down.
"Ooooh!" Bowser reached for one, only for Peach to smack him on the wrist. "Ow!"
"Save it for dinner." Peach scolded.
"Thanks Peach, I'm grateful for this."
"You're welcome!"
SLAM!
"Princess! We've-a come to save you!" Mario declared as Luigi, Daisy, RWBY and the Ashen Wolves were ready for action.
"Right on time, guys!" Peach smiled.
"...Eh?" Ruby tilted her head. "What's all this?"
"Bowser needed some help with Thanksgiving dinner… so i was more than happy to help!"
"Oh… well, how about that." Luigi said.
"You guys wanna stay? I've made plenty!" Peach said.
"Eh, sure, why not? I was plannin' on crashing at your place earlier." Daisy shrugged.
"Oooh, something smells good!" Junior walked in.
"Junior, my boy!" Bowser walked over to him and hugged him. "Happy Thanksgiving, son!"
"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, papa!"
Peach giggled, then looked at the camera. "Now, remember everyone. Be sure to be grateful for the things you have and remember to slow down on a day such as this. Spend time with your family!" She let out another giggle. "Happy Thanksgiving, everyone~!"
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Hope your day is... less chaotic than what happened here!
Ibuki: Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Nan-chan!
Shout out to Cody for coming up with this one! ...Makes up for the Halloween PSA that was planned to happen but due to me getting sick, it never happened. Also a shout out to Flash for suggesting a This One Goes to Eleven redux!