Chapter 56.
As soon as they were on the road, Dean grabbed a random cassette tape from his collection and started it playing. Led Zeppelin's Good Times, Bad Times started playing. "Alright!" said Dean, "You know this one?"
"Yes." said Anael.
"Can you sing?"
"Not a note." she said.
"Perfect, neither can I. Let's just pretend we can."
She grinned at him and began to sing along with the chorus. He joined in. It felt good to be able to sing at the top of his lungs in the company of someone who wasn't going to judge him. Actually, she didn't sound too bad.
He'd heard every song on the mixtape many times and sang along to them all. She joined in when she knew them, tapped out the rhythm when she wasn't sure of the words. It was fun and made the short trip to Salina even shorter.
At the entrance to the zoo, she said to him, "When was the last time you were at a zoo?"
"I don't remember," he said, "Not as a visitor, anyway. Once killed a ghoul who was hiding out in one. I know I went to a zoo a long time ago. It was good. You'll like it, trust me."
"I do." she said and he wasn't sure whether she meant that she already liked it or that she did trust him. He decided not to ask. Either was good.
Beyond the entrance was a selection of farm animals, being cooed over by various excited children. Anael went over to the Jacob's sheep and watched them, fascinated. "They're beautiful!" she said.
They weren't alone in that. Happy, she looked better than usual and seeing her surrounded by children, the same childlike joy on her face, warmed his heart. There was an innocence to her, the sign, he realised, of someone who had not seen a lot of the world, discovering that even the simplest of its creatures was a treasure.
"Are Sarah's chickens like these?" she said, moving on to admire the frenetic activity of the hens.
"I think all chickens are pretty much the same." he said.
"Their feathers are so beautifully coloured!" she said.
"Yeah, they're impressive." he said.
"Look at the pigs!" she said, "Look at those snouts! I love pigs!"
"Me too," said Dean, "Walking bacon."
"Don't say that. They might understand."
"Hey, we're all somebody's walking bacon." he said, responding to her frown by adding, "But they are cute."
When she had seen every one of the farm animals, they moved on to the next exhibit, the lions. The male lay lazily sunning himself. One female slept beside him while another patrolled the enclosure.
"Look at that mane!" said Dean, "Reminds me of Sam."
"I've never seen Sam sit that still for that long." she said.
"True."
"He reminds me of you. Undisputed leader."
"Sam leads in the bunker. He is like me in one way. He has some exceptional females around. Did you know that lionesses do most of the hunting? Female of the species and everything."
"I didn't know that." she said.
"I've seen a lot of wildlife documentaries." he said. Then he wondered why he had to explain his knowledge, almost excuse it. Maybe it felt too much like bragging, like he was showing off to impress a woman, which he was, so why be weird about it? He was definitely overthinking things again.
Anael headed to the Andean bears and he followed, once more seeing her face light up as she saw one of the bears. "You're beautiful." she said to it. Dean remembered her saying the same thing to him. The bear seemed to enjoy it too.
She turned to Dean and said, "God made a lot of mistakes, but the animals, he got right."
He smiled at her. "He did okay with some of the angels too." he said.
"You're in a good mood today." she said.
"Being around you has that effect." he said. Behind her, the bear scratched its belly, apparently unaware that it was in the presence of a celestial being. They watched the bear in silence for a while, then Anael took his hand and led him to the other side of the path, where ostriches strutted and flounced.
She watched the ostriches without comment, her eyes widening when they showed their huge wings. Then she turned her attention to the cute little prairie dogs in the next enclosure and she laughed. "That must be a good life," she said, "Just digging and playing."
"Yeah," he said, "Probably better here than out in the real world, where everyone wants to eat them."
"Do they taste good?" she said, reminding him of how little experience she had of the world.
He tried not to laugh. Mostly, he succeeded and fortunately, she seemed not to notice his amusement. " I didn't mean people," he said, "I meant coyotes, eagles and bobcats."
"We're all walking bacon for someone." she said sympathetically to the nearest prairie dog. That was compassion, what he would call humanity, if she were human and witnessing it felt good.
When she caught sight of the ring-tailed lemurs, she almost ran to them. "Look at them!" she said, "Look at their little hands!"
He looked at them, briefly, but mostly he looked at her. He had never seen her like that before, so engaged and enthusiastic and excited. Generally, the childlike aspects of angels intensely annoyed him, but this was different. It made him feel different too. Being around her joy was infectious and he found himself smiling all the time.
She watched, fascinated, as two lemurs picked up and ate pieces of fruit, then watched another climb rapidly and cleverly, using his long tail for balance. For a moment, he was reminded of his mother. A lifetime ago, he remembered her watching a bird feeding on a seed head with that same look of wonder.
He had forgotten that, until Anael reminded him. She had a way of giving him back things he had lost, good memories from early childhood or just the feeling, late at night, of being completely loved and wanted.
As she stood, still watching the lemurs, he stepped up beside her, slipped his arm around her waist and said, "I love your smile."
She turned to look at him, her smile even brighter. "It's good to see you smile too." she said, "It's good to see you relax."
He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt relaxed or even not felt the weight of the world on his shoulders for a few hours, but today, he didn't feel that way. The world felt lighter. His life felt easier, just because she was in it. Nobody was looking, so he kissed her lightly on the lips and whispered, "I love you." It was getting easier to say it and he felt no need to qualify it or add conditions. The zoo date had been a good idea.