Chapter 67.

Dean was intrigued by the maned wolves. "Says here, they're not wolves at all."

"No," said Anael, "The DNA is very different."

"They look like a cross between a dog and a deer." he said.

"They look sweet." she said, "I like dogs."

"Dogs are suck-ups," he said, "They just love everyone. You can kick a dog and it just follows you around anyway." He realised she was looking at him with a horrified expression. "I don't kick dogs," he clarified, "Like, ever. I like dogs."

"It didn't sound like you like them."

"Well, I do." She was waiting for more of an explanation. "When I was a kid, I wanted a dog. I asked Mom. She said maybe. Never happened. So I guess I convinced myself I never wanted one anyway. Sometimes, I'm too good at convincing myself of things."

"I've noticed." she said. To his relief, she smiled. "If we had a dog, it wouldn''t be a Nephilim."

"True, but dog need stalbility. It's why there was never a chance after Mom died."

"But you have the bunker now."

"Yeah, hardly a good environment for any animal. Plus, they need walks."

She grinned wickedly. "We could send it out running with Sam and Eileen."

He laughed. "Yeah, we could do that, couldn't we? We could probably get them to feed it too."

Her eyes were locked on his. Angel eyes, too intense, too focused on him. "What?" he said.

"We're talking about a future together." she said.

He nodded. "We are, aren't we?"

"And you're not running."

"No, I'm not." he said. Maybe he should be. Ordinarily, he would be, but the things Sam had said had made sense and he wasn't sure that shutting down every possibility of happiness was the foolproof protection he had always thought it to be. Everyone he cared about wanted him to try and whatever his doubts, he knew he wanted at least a chance to make things work with Anael.

"Have I spooked you?" she said.

"I'm not that easily spooked." he replied, "I just kinda love knowing that you wanna be with me. You even wanna have a dog with me. Now thats commitment!"

They moved on, past the colobus monkeys and on to the chimps. One came quickly over to loo at them. Well, to look at Anael. Some creatures were certainly drawn to angels. "Yes," she said, "But not forever."

"I'm sorry, what?" he said.

"I was talking to him." she said, nodding to the chimp.

"You can talk to animals? More to the point, they talk to you?"

"Can we not talk about this? It's an angel thing and one of the few things i'll be sorry to lose. It's not only humans who pray, you know. Animal just don't do dogma."

"What's not forever?" he said, reluctant even to ask.

""Being an angel." she said, "Did you think I meant us?"

"I didn't know." he said, "If the agel thing's temporary, then so are we."

"Yes, probably. We weren't going to talk about this."

He didn't want to, but they kept coming back to the subject and no movement seemed possible on either side. The chimp gave a weird grin and she said, "He likes you."

"Not sure how I feel about that."

"You should be used to it. Everybody likes you, except the people who hate you. Even they, I think, struggle not to like you."

"Why does he like me?"

"He thinks you have kind eyes." she said, "He's asking if I chose you instead of Heaven."

"It doesn't have to be a choice."

"The choice you want me to make is a stark one."

"I don't want you to give up Heaven."

"You want to keep me out of humanity forever, maybe because it's easier to let go of me then."

"What? Where did that come from?" he said.

"If you convinced yourself I gave up immortality for you, leaving would make you feel guilty. If I'm still an angel, it's different."

"No. That has nothing to do with it. If you turn human, I will leave you. I'll have to, but if you stay and angel, I won't."

The chimp became very vocal. "What's he saying now?" said Dean.

"He thinks I should kiss you."

"Oh."

"But I'm not going to, not for his amusement."

"No, he's being a jerk."

"He means no harm. He doesn't know how delicate the situation is."

"You mean how hard it is to know how to act around me?"

"Pretty much." she admitted.

"I wish this could be easier." he said.

"I know you do." She looked away when they heard a screech and pointed. "Hey, look! They have eagles!" She took his arm and drew him to their enclosure. The bald eagles were flying on vast, glossy wings or sunning themselves on various branches.

Dean had always liked eagles. Strong and powerful, they could thrill and inspire even someone as unpoetic as him. He looked beside him and reflected that Anael was another inspiration that evoked unusual feelings in him.

She noticed him looking and squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry." she said.

"You got nothing to be sorry for," he said, "I've always been a difficult person to love."

"You're really not."

"I'm trying to be what you need me to be, but I feel like I fail a lot."

"No." she said with gentle certainty.

They watched the eagles for some time, her hand still on his arm, feeling like an anchor, holding him steady, making him feel he belonged to someone. He wished he could stay forever in that moment, with no hard decisions and n chance of mistakes.

Eventually, they move on and she released his arm. It felt like a dismissal, but she stayed close, still looking at him with love. He'd messed up by talking about the things they shouldn't discuss, but she understood and wasn't blaming him.

The snow leopard didn't come to see the angel. She didn't seem to notice them at all. She came through the foliage into the sunlight. "She's so beautiful." said Anael. She had no idea how beautiful she was to him when she showed such enthusiasm for the world and its wonders.

"She is." he agreed, "Reminds me of you."

"I'd wear those colours."

"Not what I meant. She's making her own path, doing what she wants to do. I can respect that, even if i have to get in the way sometimes."

"Are you speaking metaphorically again?" she said.

"Probably. I'm not always bright enough to tell."

"You're the cleverest human I know." she said.

"Yeah, but you haven't met many humans."