Chapter 70.

Everything was going well, Sam thought, as he lay in the darkened room, beside Eileen. Being able to confess that he was i a relationship with Anael had been a giant leap forward for Dean and right now, they were together and not yelling, which suggested things were fine.

This was, after all, the aspect of relationships with which Dean felt most comfortable. If he'd managed a whole day at the zoo, talking, a night in bed with her should present no problems.

It seemed funny, in a way, that she was the angel, yet Sam was more worried about the possibility of Dean being overwhelmed. That seemed to be the biggest risk, right now, that it would all become too intense and Dean would feel feelings that would trigger all the oldest, deepest insecurities. He might find himself so deeply in love that it scared him and feelings that scared Dean tended to get buried.

There was room for hope, though. He had not expected them to come home from their date so definitely a couple and Dean didn't seem uneasy, but happy. At some point, he would need to make the leap from, "Not gonna risk it." to, "What the Hell?" and maybe he had. Maybe a day at the zoo had been just what he needed. Maybe this was the beginning of Dean Winchester getting to have a life of his own.

Sam wanted that for him. He always had. He wanted to see hi brother across the room at family gatherings and not see the lost and lonely look in his eyes. Eileen's presence beside him brought him great peace and he wanted Dean to know how that felt.

Maybe, he already did. Sam had noticed how easily Dean would take Anael's arm or put a hand on her shoulder. Generally, if someone moved too close, even by accident, Dean would bristle like an aggrieved cat and move away, but with Anael, she could get as close as she liked. He would even move to lean closer to her.

They knew each other well. A lifetime in shared motel rooms made that inevitable. Sam saw so much that others missed in Dean, because he was an open book to his brother and to the world, a sealed parchment, locked in a vault. Dean had seen his love for Eileen before he had really been aware of it himself and he had recognised the subtle indications of the depths of Dean's feelings for Anael.

He knew Cas a little less well and angels were complicated, but he did believe that Cas was now okay with the relationship. Sam could understand, to some degree, why he hadn't been at first, but in the end, his own love for Dean would win over al other considerations and once he truly believed that her feelings were real and that she could make Dean happy, he had changed his mind.

That was something wonderful in Cas, that ability to change his mind, learn and grow. It was rare in angels. Sam thought Anael had it too, but then, to him, she was barely an angel at all.

In the end, the question would be whether Dean could do it. He was the stubbornnest creature in all of creation and the hardest thing of all was to make him change his mind about himself and the bitter truths he held to be self-evident. Two of his biggest weaknesses, his self-doubt and his fondness for hot redheads were in direct opposition now and it would be hard to say which had the advantage, but Sam hoped the latter would win, just as his own self-doubt had been pushed aside by his feelings for Eileen and the realisation that she loved him.

Sam felt a lot of sympathy for Anael. It was hard enough to be learning about human emotions without having the chance to go through a human childhood, but in her case, she had picked the worst possible human. It wasn't that he was cruel or heartless. In fact, it was the opposite. He was so afraid of hurting her that he hurt her on a daily basis, pushing her away for what he thought was her own good. Sam had gone through plenty of that himself.

He tried to support her as much as he could, offering encouragement, perspective and the kind of affection and compassion Dean would show to anyone he didn't love so much.

Perhaps the best thing he could do for both of them was to keep trying to convince Dean that Anael becoming human would be a good thing. It was what both of them wanted and it removed half their problems at a stroke, but Dean, perversely, was firmly against it. Sam couldn't see a way for them to be happy together unless Dean changed his mind. If she went ahead and became human without his agreement, however grudgingly given, his pride would kick in and he would tear the whole relationship down and there was no way Anael was going to give up the thing she most wanted, for a relationship with a man who didnt seem that committed anyway.

Why should she? Anyone could see how much she longed to be human, was human, in fact, in everything but DNA. His mind wandered off on that tangent for a while. Did angels have DNA? He wasn't sure.

Point was, she wanted humanity, not just to be with Dean, but to live a life. She had wanted it before she knew Dean and if they didn't work out, she would still want it. Why should she give that up because he said so, when even he admitted it was what he wanted too? Anael's whole future should not depend on giving up who she was and wanted to be.

Sam wanted it too. He had to confess that to himself. He wanted his baby to grow up with cousins and although he had no problem with Nephilim, there was no way Dean would consent to fathering one.

Dean was born to be a dad. He'd been one many times, to many people. He had a right to be one to children of his own. To Sam, it all seemed so simple and obvious, what needed to happen, but nothing involving Dean could ever be simple.

The light net to Eileen came on. He turned to face her. "What's keeping you awake tonight?" she said.

He shrugged. "Just stuff." he said.

"Don't make me force it out of you." she said.

"Could be fun." he said.

She looked stern, probably unware of how sexy that look was. "It won't." she said.

He gave in. "Dean." he said.

"Specific problem or the usual late-night worry-fest?" she said.

"The latter." he admitted.

"Believe in Dean. You always have before."

"In everything but this. You know what he's like. He never does what's best for himself."

"Then believe in Anael. Look how far they've come so far."

"I do believe in her, I do," he said, "But I know Dean. I know how good he is at self-sabotage."

"Second-best in the world," said Eileen, "But look, I have you, so an angel should easily be able to get past Dean's defences."

"I am not worse than Dean!" said Sam.

"In self-sabotage and denial," said Eileen, "But you're worth the effort. Now, stop worrying about things you can't do anything about and let me do something about those knotted muscles."

He smiled, knowing she would always win. "You're a very persuasive woman." he said, moving so she could massage his neck and shoulders.

"So is Anael." she said, starting to knead the stiff muscles, "Your brother's single life is over."