A/N: Apologies for the delay. Poor health and work kept me away. Thank you for your patience and well wishes.
A guest asked why Kushina and Minato would allow Danzō to keep the Tsuwamono Seal revealed in Chapter 56. You're forgetting that it was a different time in the Third Great Shinobi War. At the time, Danzō was the legitimate ANBU Commander and had the power to sneak whatever he wanted under his authority as a force commander. It was very possible for him to steal a copy or two of the seal and tinker with it until he got several versions for different purposes. Such a seal might have even been the inspiration for his Cursed Tongue Eradication Seal (the one he puts on the tongue of his Root agents). You don't need the original when a stolen copy will do. Who would question the ANBU Commander, after all?
Even worse, Sarutobi was the Hokage and we all know how forgiving he was. He would have argued in Danzō's favor without proof and Danzō would have abused that to death.
Another Guest seems to think that Danzō is the root (bad pun, I know) of all evil in my story. He makes for a credible arch villain but I don't pin everything on him. I don't and didn't do so with what Iwa, Kumo, and Kiri did with their captives. Do I believe that he had something to do with the original invasion and the subsequent delay in Konoha's response? Certainly. Is he responsible for Kumo's keeping of hostages? Not hardly. War prizes and slaves were not Danzō's idea as they'd most likely been around before the Warring States period. Let's give credit where credit is due.
To A Meandering Ghostie: I believe I responded to your review directly. All good. I'm not worried about rants. See my response for the rebuttal to your comment about canon and toxic bijuu chakra.
N7 Greek-Valkyrie: Welcome to the infuriating story that is No More.
As to the question of "Who is Kisame's Brother": I am assuming since no one is posting an answer, everyone else figured out who it was early on? (See the comments at the beginning of the previous chapter if you missed the poll question).
Atengawchok: I sent a PM for your question. It will be discussed in the next few chapters.
Killa Bee 8: Thank you. I will try.
Codywhite162: Thank you and enjoy.
Prakith: Understandable. You are not alone there.
I hope you are all staying safe out there, and, as always:
Enjoy as you will.
~Siva'a-tasi
~III~
Chapter 57: One Plus One Equals Thirteen
~III~
Last Time on 'No More'...
"All Parties attending to the presiding binding resolution, as referred to by name and position, do hereby agree to the subsequent;
"We (the undersigned) in response to growing regional concerns, as attested upon this day, having decided to enter into negotiations under the arbitrational leadership pursuant of this categorical armistice, do hereby affirm under international penalty the following provisions:"
Mifune's eyes glided over the transcribed text spelling out the hastily documented adjustments agreed upon by the Yondaime Raikage and the latest Uzu Daimyo. He wanted to make sure the copies lined up with the original exactly so before the delegations departed his country.
It was hard enough splitting up their departures to avoid... complications. The last thing anyone needed was bloodshed over altered treaty documents and allegations of foul play pointed at the Land of Iron. There was enough drama already with the Raikage's theatrics...
"Thoughts," he grunted almost absently as tired eyes danced along near-perfect lines of script.
Mifune's posture never shifted, his eyes never leaving the draft scroll, but Minamoto's gaze swept the five figures seated in a row on the far side of the short-legged desk.
Yoshiaki, the seasoned veteran, grunted as his left hand gripped the right shoulder he was rolling around to ease the growing stiffness in it. "The boy is far stronger than expected."
Several concurring grunts and chuckles sounded to his right as the other four agreed, several sporting bruises darkening to an ugly purple hue. Minamoto remained unconcerned as each man had talented healers in their home camps that could remove the marks before the night was out.
"You knew his reaction would be violent." Tachibana's words were a statement, the middle-aged man's dark brows pinched near the bridge of his hawk-like nose. None would outright accuse their Shogun even with their lifelong camaraderie but it was a close thing.
When Mifune neither responded nor lifted his eyes from the third copy now appearing in his weathered hands, Tsunenari chimed in with, "I believe he had every right to his anger."
Masanaga's neatly-groomed beard and mustache twisted up with his grunting laughter, which only served to rile up the youngest of the five.
"You'd deny his claim to reparations?!" Tsunenari barked back.
"No, I don't," the older general responded. When it looked like he wouldn't respond further, Tsunenari opened his mouth to comment further when Masanaga cut him off once again.
"You have much to learn about politics and what is and is not acceptable. The young Uzumaki gave away any leverage he had with that childish display."
Tsunenari's face flushed a bright red made even worse by the bandages crossed over the bridge of his nose, eyes nearly hidden in deep purple bruises.
Five voices bantered back and forth for another ten minutes before Mifune set down his copies of the three separate treaties with a sigh, the barest brush of air across his lips.
It silenced all conversation like a whip crack.
Mifune's dark eyes floated up from paperwork hell to find his son, the boy's face losing its previous traces of heat.
"It doesn't matter whether his justice is warranted or not." Mifune's voice was weighed down with the burden of his office.
Yoshiaki's eyebrow floated free. "You're suggesting that we defend an overextended child and-."
Mifune's face hardened, just the barest of crow's lines crinkling at the corner of his eyes, and the air compressed into weighted stone. Five faces burst open in shock as an enormous invisible hand reached out to compress their ribcages crushing the breath from their lungs. The office tasted as if someone set fire to the air in it, the veins of their necks bulging to burst free of their throats.
"Remind me, Moto-san, who was it that helped my family escape to this paradise and establish Tetsu from nothing?" Something dark glinted in the old campaigner's eyes but he never took them off of his generals.
Minamoto grunted out in gasping breaths, "The Uzumaki, Mifune-sama."
"So true, so true."
The Shogun paused as if this were some monumental discovery his men should perhaps commit to memory. His voice was almost conversational.
"Despite our long and storied relationship with the Uzumaki, I would have upheld our longstanding rules for associating with bugaisha[10]." The fingers on his right hand brushed delicately across the second Kokeshi doll in a line of six, the flowers painted in the brush stroked strands indicating a female.
Then the air flexed and compressed again, the men on the far side of his desk grunting in pain as their vision turned gray at the edges.
"It is fortunate for us that, by the Raikage's own hand, we are free from such restrictions." His eyes swept them once again. "Our bonds to the Uzumaki go back long before the Iron Tenets were penned to paper and I want each of you to remember that."
The iron vice around each man's lungs receded between one gasping breath and the other and five hardened men inhaled the sweet air of freedom.
"Let there be no doubt where the Land of Tetsu stands should the bugaisha come for our brothers in arms once again, the Uzumaki."
Five sets of bloodshot eyes gaped to match their gulping mouths.
All the same, five freshly shaven heads bowed in obedience.
~III~
"Staying silent is like slow-growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself. You may not win every battle. However, everyone will at least know what you stood for—YOU."
― Shannon L. Alder
~III~
He was beyond angry!
At the same time, he was above jubilant!
To be honest, he was absolutely conflicted about how to feel regarding the whole thing.
No matter how you sliced it, Naruto didn't know which way to turn or what thing he changed in the past with his Sliders to bring this about but it was the best possible shock out of an utterly crappy situation.
He had extended family! Real honest-to-goodness Uzumaki family!
True, most of them were absolutely over the hill or just barely out of diapers but they were his family. He'd never seen Keina so happy, so energized! Additionally, they spent the entire night (once they got back to the Iron capital talking, crying, laughing, raging, eating, drinking, and introducing each other to the thirty-seven survivors of the Uzumaki massacre.
Thirty-seven out of over fifteen hundred people still lived... Okay, that was a depressing thought but it was better than nothing during both his entire previous lives.
The village only held roughly four-hundred shinobi but that didn't make up the total population. Crafters, teachers, healers, business owners... the village was self-sufficient and that meant that not all of Clan Uzumaki fought. It wasn't like they were a warmongering clan, to begin with.
Over fifteen hundred in total before they came bringing death and suffering.
The hard crying came after counting the one-hundred-twenty-two cremated remains with their matching DNA samples wrapped and preserved in expensive cryo-stasis seals the Raikage paid for out of Kumogakure funds. And that was where a large part of his self-conflict arose from. Ay was not like his father, the Sandaime Raikage, the man that led the charge to wipe out the Uzumaki.
He was the bastard trying to use his family as bargaining chips!
Ay was not the man that took two-hundred-fifty slaves from a conquered nation to be used and abused by select families and shinobi of note in whatever way they saw fit. His father, the Sandaime, was.
Ay was not responsible for the death of over two hundred of those displaced victims. Kumo was.
Quite the contrary, Ay's efforts to save and protect them began in earnest following the failed Hyuuga abduction after he was inducted as the next Kage. The real work began when he had the power to enforce his plans, often at sword point to his own shinobi refusing to surrender their "war prizes."
Even then he couldn't save all of the survivors. Six were killed in the last two years when shinobi refusing to capitulate murdered their prisoners with suicide jutsu before captives could be liberated. Most of the children from those forced unions that survived were now nestled safely among the survivors hidden away in the Glimmering Grotto of the Umihebi.
The fact that they were finally free didn't mean the hardest part was behind them; people still needed time to heal.
It also stood to reason that Ay wasn't the most popular Raikage at the moment despite being the most honorable. Many in his own village considered his actions borderline traitorous meaning he'd suffer no shortage of flak for freeing what remained of the Uzumaki slaves.
How do you explain to a child that the father they loved was their mother's slave owner and, in six particular cases, a murderer? That the village they considered home stole them from their true family intending to brainwash them into some sort of super shinobi loyal to their captors?
Despite his conflicted emotions, Keina forced him to apologize for at least half of the curses he hurled at the Raikage and all of the subsequent threats to turn Kumo into a sea of molten slag. Of course, they'd had to slap a Jinchuuriki suppression seal on him first before he could burn the Tetsu pier to the ground.
So much for that secret.
That little incident also put everyone in the rather large village on edge, none more so than the soldiers at ground zero hoping that they wouldn't have to murder one of their nation's allies.
In hindsight, he had to admit that might have been taking things a bit far.
...Maybe.
To be honest, he didn't remember that one but he did remember being angry enough to make such a promise while pulling on Kurama's chakra for all he was worth. At least the bijū had the good sense to fight him until Keina could subdue him.
"You're welcome."
Naruto promptly ignored her with a mental sniff of disdain.
It took several hours after that under the careful ministrations and manhandling of both the Sirens and his adoptive mother before he could see enough reason to shift his rage to where it truly belonged: the Sandaime Raikage, the Sandaime Tsuchikage - who was still in office, and the Nidaime Mizukage - who was officially dead.
Still, apologizing to Ay, Mifune, and the Iron Generals for his outburst, and several generals for the bruises he unintentionally left on them, was a monumental effort. His face still burned from the bandages he saw over Tsunenari's busted nose but the young man wouldn't hear of an apology, as if the brawl was apparently some samurai rite of passage.
Not for the final time did he think that all Samurai were - at best - unusual people but he pushed on.
The promise to update the ancient seals protecting their castle homes would go a long way to soothing over those emotional and political hurts.
Still...
Would Konoha have done anything to help get them back sooner had they known that Iwa, Kumo, and Mizu all took prisoners instead of murdering every last man, woman, and child as everyone believed? Did Danzo have this documented in his dark library? Had the Old Man learned of this? Did Jiraiya know?
His eyes flickered to his mother, who was once the Old Man's Chief ANBU, and wondered if this idea of hers spawned when Konoha refused to help.
Was that one of the reasons why she remained so angry with the Leaf? She often hid it well but Naruto didn't need the Kyūbi to show him the smoldering rage deep in her purple eyes.
There was so much he didn't know yet and-.
"Sochi."
Keina's gentle voice interrupted his violent spiral down the rabbit hole.
"You're thinking hard enough to alert all of our enemies from Tetsu to the Land of Tea."
It was meant as a joke, something to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, Naruto was having a hard time letting go of his anger. He was angry about the captivity and mistreatment of his people. He was still angry on Uba-sama's behalf his face still remembering the gentleness of those wrinkled hands as they gently touched and pulled at his cheeks, held his face, marveled through the silky texture of his brightly colored hair...
"You have to let this anger go or it will consume you, Sochi."
Her cheery smile was dying a slow death as the worry crept into her eyes but he couldn't let it go. He'd seen too much over his previous lives. Each turn through the wheel of time showed him more and more how vital it was that he succeed on his next- his last slide.
He had to remind himself that she couldn't understand. How could she? To her, they only had this one life and she hadn't been a part of his life either of the first two times he'd fumbled through it.
He'd told no one of his time-traveling agreement with the gods this time around, not even Ino. He couldn't take that chance that they'd lock him up in an insane asylum ruining any opportunity to make things right, his last chance to honor his pledge to a Kami no one believed was real, to begin with.
His mother's nanny and the remaining survivors of his clan only cemented how vital it was that he get this absolutely-without-fail correct. The desire to succeed was like acid eating away at his soul.
Soo much waste of life...
Was this how Sasuke felt all the time when he looked at the graves of his clan?
Naruto held her purple gaze for several long minutes, his mouth opening then closing several times in quick succession.
"Sochi?" Keina's head tilted cutely to the side.
"..."
"You can tell me anything-any of us anything!" She indicated the warm and eerily silent bodies inside the litter.
Three pretty faces nodded in agreement to his mother in all but blood. Not his real mother, his mind ruthlessly corrected. The unwanted thought flickered across his mind before he could stop it, but did it really matter?
She was close enough for him. She was as close to the real thing as he could get.
Naruto turned his head to gaze through the gauzy curtains at nothing in particular. "I know, mom."
Keina and Anko both shared an unsure glance as the countryside rolled by in the opposite direction, the Samurai Bridge a full day to the rear at their current pace. The older woman wanted to put some distance between them and the outpost before she'd agree to relax the guard.
They had enough problems to deal with aside from overzealous Leaf shinobi.
~III~
.
.
Office of the Godaime Hokage, Konohagakure no Sato
Kakashi was standing in the dim light of his office, his back to his desk as he looked out over the busy Konoha street below. He could see shop owners rushing to close up and get changed to attend what he believed to be - from the gossip he was overhearing anyway - a brand new festival. It would be Konoha's second one since its founding.
Already the usually timid night of the after-hours Market District was beginning to snap and crackle with children swinging sparkler sticks in the air as they ran about shrieking happily. They couldn't have known fully what was going on but the adults were celebrating and they were being allowed out to rip and run. The joy was heartfelt anyway and Kakashi felt, deep down, that this would make all the work worth it.
It was time for the Leaf to heal.
Further up the Market, he could hear the crack and pop of small firecrackers, the personal ones that often produced more smoke than colorful lights. The big ones would come out later during the finale.
Though his face was tight with tension, the corner of his exposed eye held tiny crinkles in the corner. It wouldn't do for a Kage to lose his composure and celebrate early, now would it?
"Everything is in place?" His head never turned from the heavily reinforced glass as he spoke but a voice on the other side of the office, the side facing Hokage Mountain and his peers, answered.
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
The voice was flat and unemotional like every other Aburame he knew.
"How many?"
"We have three monitors and their allies in place. I expect their return in the early hours pending a quick resolution of the issue. Additionally, the monitors have sufficient cadaver bags for the two prime targets."
Kakashi nodded expecting no less than absolute professionalism from the bug harvesters. He couldn't call them that though, not to their faces anyway. No, they tended to get twitchy about their "allies" when it came to derogatory comments and insecticide jokes.
"What if your operatives should fail, Hokage-sama?" the shadowy figure queried.
"I guess that means they're more overrated than we thought and I continue with the original plan." Kakashi's grin beneath his mask seemed casual, unworried. He turned from the window this time to ask, "Either way, we begin the process of balancing the scales. Any other concerns?"
"None, Hokage-sama."
Kakashi turned back to the window to once again peruse the crowd below.
"Good."
The Cyclops clasped both hands behind his back signifying that the after-hours meeting was at its end knowing full well his informant would be gone by the time he turned back to finish up what little remained of the day's paperwork.
Maybe, once this long overdue problem has been resolved, he could see about delegating some of this annoying administrative crap multiplying on his desk.
~III~
.
.
Evening Camp the Second Night After Crossing the Bridge
"Alright, gang," Anko's light brown eyes took in the five platoon leaders clustered around her to see if any of them looked particularly twitchy. The sensors had given them a serious warning during dinner and she would need to deal with any nerve issues before things turned ugly.
A distinct lack of moonlight made vision a problem, but the figures huddled around her were close enough to make out without the need to channel chakra to her eyes.
They were also all grim-faced and steady.
'Good.' She absolutely loved Hatchlings. To Anko, they were the perfect soldiers: strong, devoted (to the Uzumaki), quiet, and violent.
She buried her smirk and put on her professional mask. "Okay, listen up close."
None of them shifted their feet - another possible sign of nerves - but they did grip the pommels of their swords in anticipation.
"I wanted to do the usual three-on-two-off rotation but we don't have that luxury tonight. Platoon One, you're on sweeps. All rounds are four-hour blocks vice our normal 'twos'." Each platoon had a mix of hatchlings so she didn't have to worry about unfavorable elemental matchups or fatigue.
"Evens," Platoon Leaders for platoons two and four met her eyes, "you're on ready-five. Meaning you're first to rotate in when One stands down. When we roll to Platoon Two on Sweeps, Odds moves up to the ready with Three in the kunai launcher, got it?"
Five heads nodded as they thumped fists to hearts.
"I know this sucks but it should give the off-coming sweep teams at least six hours in the sack unless our unwanted guests decide to pay us a visit."
She snorted dryly as her hazel eyes flickered briefly to the southwest. "We were expecting this so I'm surprised they waited so long before showing up. I'm guessing we'll be in the thick of it before midnight anyway so we'll have to assess and see if we can change the rotation after we've kicked their sorry asses back where they belong."
They didn't make a sound but all five had the same wicked gleam in their eyes.
"Okay, sensors say that they're somewhere to the South and West. When we have to roll out, standby units will flank out ninety and sweep thirty to either side of the enemy press. When your zone is clear, bank hard and press to their quarters."
It was a sweeping pincer move and she needed there to be zero chance of misunderstanding so one side didn't get steamrolled by numbers. Anko spent another ten seconds making sure their heads were all nodding in the same direction before barking out, "Questions?"
"Prisoners?" the leader of Platoon Four asked. Anko remembered that this one was particularly angry towards humans in general based on what happened to the Uzumaki Clan and that hidden anger made their working relationship a bit edgy at first.
"Don't need 'em," Anko snarked back.
All five platoon leaders went from blank-faced to matching wicked grins. There were no more questions after that.
"Let's get at it, gang."
Her group of loyal killers floated away, the two Lieutenants staying by her side as Anko scowled off into the darkness. They expected to be stabbed in the back. She was just disappointed that Konoha would make it so obvious and so soon.
Shaking her head, she stalked off to find her tent and rest a bit before the fun started.
If the sensors were right, it was going to be a long night for everyone.
~III~
.
.
With The Akatsuki Assault Team
"You all know your roles. Do not fail."
Three figures stepped out into the night. Three more headed towards the small camp, one grousing about the "lack of space to ply his art" before being silenced with a heavy-handed smack to the back of his head, while a seventh melded quickly with a nearby tree.
Deidara, the complainer, slipped quietly through the upper branches having been warned about not using aerial combat in the close-ranged quarters of the camp. Someone grumbling about the trees increasing the risk of friendly casualties in the darkness. It wasn't his cup of tea but he could stay high above the ground through the branches and target using his more surgical D1 munitions. Having been conditioned to infiltration, especially in low-light conditions, he had little trouble sneaking through the upper branches until he was positioned on the far side of the camp away from his partner.
It wouldn't be long now, his signal to begin being the sound of the fodder engaging the rest of the trash milling about the small campsite. Deidara took a few minutes to take stock of his clay before settling into a comfortable crouch.
From there, he began to watch the two-person patrols gliding through the campsite. He ignored the squad of larger-than-Kisame litter bearers sleeping next to the wooden palanquin (Kisame advised him not to upset them with his tiny firecrackers, a remark that nearly got him concussed as he swelled up to shout down the large man so close to their target). Remembering the slight against his art didn't seem to help his planning any when his emotions bubbled at the insult.
Somewhere off in the distance, he could hear the roar of Ame's nin-fodder charging into the camp and brushed it off. He had his hands full with the squads on patrol wondering why they weren't breaking off to see what the problem was.
The pair beneath him paused for a moment, spoke briefly to each other, then continued on as if nothing was going on.
Deidara's brow puckered up in small wrinkles. He was having a hard time resolving a pattern, the pairs of guards wandering about in seemingly random directions.
A head wrapped in Venus Flytrap leaves popped out of the tree branch directly over his shoulder.
"Sasori is growing impatient, and is threatening to start without your signal."
The bomber buried an involuntary shiver - he hated the dual voice of their organic spy. The guy was plain creepy and that was saying something considering the members of their entire group.
Sometimes he could swear that he felt the plant man eyeing him up like a particularly tender steak and it made Deidara's spine rattle.
"Art. Takes. Time," he complained while forcing down his unease at Zetsu's close proximity trying not to gag at the rotted stench pouring from the creature's mouth. By the gods, didn't he ever brush his teeth?
Deidara never liked to rush his art. Rushed art made for poor moments of brilliance. Poor brilliance led to even poorer inspiration for greater art.
It really was a horrible downward spiral to mediocrity.
"We are on a tight timetable per the brief package. You have two minutes or you'll receive fifteen demerits."
Oh, now that just took the dango salad! A vein pulsed over Deidara's left eye. "Fine!" he hissed. "If he wants imperfect art, I'll give him imperfect art!"
Secretly he was relieved as he could deflect any blame to the impatient serial killer. Thrusting his palms forward, two sets of slender four-winged birds[11] darted out into the night in two different directions. Halfway to their targets, both sets puffed softly with white chakra smoke before flying into the backs of their intended victims, two different sets of patrolling sentries.
The resulting fireball blossoms burst their reddish-orange glow into the otherwise moonless night kicking the anthill into furious motion.
"That should get their attention, hnh." The blond bomber saw two crumpled bodies laying where the closest explosion shattered the quiet with its radiant beauty. Then he blinked in confusion once again counting the two huddled masses in the night which seemed odd since there should have been four.
There was also far too much mass still intact, something he found strangely out of the norm. Judging from the explosion at least one should have been a head shorter.
"Oh, you have our attention alright."
He glanced down toward the ground below his perch and saw a pair of patrol guards glaring back up at him. He knew they were glaring at him because of the odd yellowish glow in their eyes, almost like an animal's when they open up their irises to absorb ambient light.
They couldn't see him, could they? It was no matter of serious import. The crazy bomber just knew his art would prevail in the end.
"Well, I suppose I should entertain you with more of my art as long as you are my guests then, hnh," he cackled.
They dashed up the tree as he leaped from his perch, hands already delving into his hip pouches filled with clay, and the explosion-filled chase was on.
~III~
.
.
Moments Before...
Naruto was sitting with his legs crossed at the ankles in the center of his pile of sleeping pillows. Anko, Soyo-chan, and the female Guardians were bidding goodnight to the Dōji. Keina was standing just off to the side of her own sleeping pallet of cushiony pillows wondering how to deal with her Sochi's melancholy.
She opened her mouth to speak when a nearby explosion rent the night air. She instead roared, "Stay here!" before summoning her katana from a seal on her right hand and stepping out into the night just ahead of five Guardians who hadn't yet stripped down for bed. No one thought it odd that the woman was dressed only in her sleeping yukata.
Not even the Komodos believed there was a threat strong enough to harm her.
Soyo-chan paused long enough to glare at the Sirens, her silent order to keep him inside responded to with equally silent nods from all four.
Once she had that assurance, she stepped out into the night drawing her weapon with a snarl.
Once the last Guardian was through the tent flaps, Naruto calmly stood slipping off his very comfortable sleeping pants then started reaching for the reinforced leather of his combat gear.
"Um, Naruto-sama," Akimi chirped. "Not to be rude but... what do you think you're doing?"
Pants secured, he didn't respond as he began slipping on and lacing up his combat sandals.
"Soyo-chan and your mother both ordered that you are to stay here!" This time her voice carried a little more heat despite how uncomfortable the seal made her feel for it.
"You want me to stay here when a random explosive note could take out this entire tent?"
This gave them pause.
The tent had seals to control temperature, prevent leaks, and repair most normal wear and tear. In some cases, it could absorb minor amounts of chakra to empower privacy seals, mostly B-rank quality or less.
There was nothing to deflect explosive notes and the seals in place couldn't handle more than a training note when it came to explosive power.
"You'd better hurry up and get changed if you're expecting to keep up with me." He finished lacing up his footwear and then began reaching for the layered chest protection of his outfit.
All four women shared a nervous look before scrambling to yank off their almost non-existent sleeping attire for their normal shinobi gear.
Hopefully, Keina wouldn't punish them too harshly.
...Maybe?
For his part, Naruto did the gentlemanly thing and dutifully ignored their more jiggly body parts as his protectors raced to wrap them up.
Well... mostly ignored.
~III~
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.
Keina
Armed with her silken yukata covered in graceful swans, the now angry Uzukage was staring off into the night. She'd already located six hostile figures and something else she couldn't quite make out; its chakra signature was too muddled.
"Umi-kun."
The large Water Sect hatchling was at her side in an instant and she lifted her blade to point toward the southwest-by-west edge of the camp.
"You'll find what you're looking for over there."
Before she could lower the blade, there was the WOOSH! of a heavy object rending the air. She glanced down at the perfect imprint in the damp grass of Umi's boot about as deep as the first knuckle of her finger and smiled. 'He's improving all the time.'
Her sword raised to point in another direction. "Soyo-chan, please relieve the patrol trying to detain another one of our uninvited guests. They need to get the wounded pair back to the camp for medical aid without delay."
The silky Wind Sect, although unhappy about leaving her Walker unattended, left a more subtle breeze in her passing without an imprint to mar the grass and Keina nodded in approval. She'd always been her best pupil.
She kept raising her sword sending a Guardian or two off to deal with specific "problems." Sanda and Nisshoku-chan she sent to deal with the Zombie Brothers since they were kind enough to stand near each other. The Fire Sect she sent to burn out the puppeteer. Poor Ishi was sent off to find the fuzzy chakra signature she could not identify, most likely that Zetsu creature Naruto's mysterious Intelligence Network identified.
She still chuckled at the progress he'd made over his worthless godfather's vast spy network. She knew he was using messengers from the Umihebi Shadow Sect to do it, she just didn't know if it was pure luck or whether or not he'd stumbled onto something with the inky serpents.
She'd question him later once they were safely out of Konoha. For now, she'd cleared out enough space to deal with Konoha's undercover agent.
"You can come out now, Itachi."
Nothing happened at first but Keina could afford to wait. The longer he delayed, the more opportunity the Guardians had to eliminate their targets. Waiting played in her favor.
A minute passed.
Then another joined it.
Tired of waiting, Keina's chakra pulsed, and six snake-like chains of dark blue chakra, the tips ending in serrated kunai, emerged from the back of her yukata to hover dangerously around her body. She didn't have Kushina's talent with the clan technique, six being the maximum she could generate without suffering a severe loss to her battle edge. Her skill led down another obscure branch of the bloodline traits that made the Uzumaki feared on the battlefield.
Then she glared directly into the spot where she knew he was hiding... and wasting her time.
"I should have known I couldn't hide from an Uzumaki." There was a subtle rippling of the night near the edge of the camp.
Keina's smile grew malicious; she could read the shock and fear in Itachi's blood-red eyes. To annoy him even further, she unsealed her own Komodo Squad face mask and slid it over her face where chakra anchors held it in place.
"Before I send you to join that bastard Danzo, you should probably know that your brother abandoned the Leaf to join that worthless snake, Orochimaru."
This time Itachi did flinch at the double hammer blow, his mind reeling right before Keina vanished from his view - his three-tomoe Sharingan view - and a heavy sandal sent him tunneling through the tree line and away from the camp.
Keina patiently stalked after him through the tree line.
Not ten seconds later, a fully dressed and armed Naruto emerged from his tent flanked by Sirens rapidly tucking in a stray garment here, and buttoning up an item there.
"Hunh, where did everybody go?" He could swear people were talking out here not just a minute before.
Right about that time, two sentries entered the camp with the body of another sentry slung over each of their shoulders and Naruto turned to look over his own at the four women behind him.
Without a word, Akimi and Ōzuoku rushed over to the injured pair being laid on the ground, their hands bursting into the green chakra of a diagnostic jutsu used to verify the hatchling pair's regenerative abilities were working as expected. At most, they could speed up the process but every little bit helped.
Naruto's eyes turned to take in the treeline of their campground even as the other sentries rushed off to help the remaining guards defend against what appeared to be three scores of cannon fodder ninja dressed in plain black cloaks bearing the red clouds of the Akatsuki.
'They weren't supposed to be active for another two years.'
Naruto couldn't help but curse that damnable butterfly.
~III~
.
.
Zombie Brothers, Sandā, and Nisshoku-chan
"That's not part of the plan," Kakuzu grumbled.
"Screw the plan!" The angry silver-haired quasi-shinobi was beginning to twitch in annoyance. "I thought you hated waiting?!"
"That's Sasori, you moron. Bounty hunters need lots of patience to find their prey."
Despite his snarky retort, Hidan kinda had a point there as Kakuzu tended to lose his patience only where money was concerned. Kakuzu, on the other hand, he knew hated chaos and unprofessionalism even more.
"Did you not read the meeting minutes again?" the dead elder snarked back.
He heard mumbled whining too low to decipher.
One very dark eye swiveled to glare at the now animatedly swearing Jashinite, a blistering tirade against office autocrats and the uninitiated heathens of the administrative world. 'Thought not.'
He was going to order his worthless partner to stick to the plan and stop his grumbling before settling into a boring night of supporting the fool against the baby Jinchuuriki when a large, sword-bearing male strode into their corner of trees followed by a shorter female in matching attire.
Kakuzu's face ballooned into a smile beneath his mask as his night became infinitely more interesting.
"Oh, blessed Jashin-sama, I thank you for this bountiful harvest!"
Further ignoring his partner's mercurial change of attitude, Kakuzu put an immediate end to the pious rant with a curt, "Hidan, go capture Leader-sama's guest. I will deal with these two."
Hidan immediately prepared to show his partner exactly what he thought of this idea but Kakuzu silenced that cabbage cart before it could leave for market.
"If you interfere with my primary duties as Treasurer, I shall have to report you to Konan-sama."
Much to the surprise of the two Guardians, the notoriously fearless Jashinite shuddered hard enough to make his scythe rattle then departed without another word, cross or otherwise. When the female of the group moved to intercept the worthless - to Kakuzu - zealot, Kakuzu gave her incentive to stay in the highly electric Raiton variety.
She easily dodged it but the action gave the foul-mouthed ghoul time to break away.
"Now," Kakuzu posited as he focused on both guests grinning beneath his mask. "Where were we? Oh, yes. We were balancing the books."
His smile vanished as the larger male exploded into a walking mass of electricity before blurring uncomfortably close to the century-old bounty hunter. Though shocked, Kakuzu dashed sideways trying to keep the larger man between him and the shorter female by narrowly dodging the sword strike that charred the ground where he once stood.
Looking down at the blackened earth, he saw what used to be grass disintegrating into ash before blowing away and cursed the fact that the big guy was both faster than he appeared and using Raiton chakra.
'Can't rely on my earth chakra just yet. I'll need to wear him-GAH!'
There was a shooting pain in his right shoulder blade followed by the sound of porcelain shattering. When whatever was stabbing him withdrew, he flickered away to gain some space. He could feel the skin of his back knitting itself back together, his eyes frantically raking over the battleground for signs of his hidden opponent.
A quick glance showed that the female was hidden somewhere, her previous spot now empty.
Back where he'd been squaring up to face the sword user, where he'd been stabbed and just lost one of his five hearts, was nothing but shadow and shattered mask pieces on the ground. He was fortunate to have been able to sense a flicker, his body shifting sideways at the last moment.
Reflection nearly cost him another heart as he snatched a kunai from its holder to deflect another heavy-handed swipe only to lose the instrument as his opponent's lightning-filled weapon sliced the smaller blade in half. Only a quick Replacement saved him from losing a limb, the rock imploding upon contact while he darted to open up space.
It wasn't hard to deduce their plan. She'd been aiming for the main heart, his Doton heart, currently powering his body and that would have given them precious seconds before he could replace it and regain movement. Several seconds they could have used to take more of his five hearts, and that was something he could not allow.
These two appeared to be well-informed, a thought that narrowed his brow in annoyance.
Perhaps this wouldn't be as easy as he once thought. Then he realized that the girl stabbed him in his wind chakra heart and swore softly to himself again.
This was going to be much harder than he thought.
Then he had no more time for thought as the larger male clashed with him again, his sword crackling with blue-white energy as it struck the ground sending more chunks into the air.
~III~
.
.
Itachi and Keina
"You should end this nonsense now and just give us the vessel." Itachi's voice was flat even though his heart was pounding in his chest. The woman walking casually just three paces to his right side was dangerous, even if she was most likely a fake according to Kakashi's last reply. Regardless, she was fast enough and - he tried not to wince at the throbbing pain in his ribs - strong enough to be her twin.
He'd have to ask the new Hokage about this at his next check-in. He'd also need to follow up on his brother. If Danzo was dead and his brother was with that snake Orochimaru then that meant Konoha had failed both him and his brother.
"Silly 'tachi-kun. Liked I'd ever willingly give you my Sochi. I'm just not made that way."
Red eyes narrowed just a bit as he fought the violent urge to flinch. That was a frequent comment from Kushina when she used to torment his father. The similarities, physical or otherwise, were unnerving.
The Uchiha bit back a frown. Fugaku was often buried deep in his mind, most often a forgotten footnote in his personal history. He did not regret killing the man even if the many deaths of his clan's innocent burned in his soul. If Kushina was still alive she'd have flayed him raw by now. He was hoping this woman wasn't as strong but their ongoing struggle wasn't leaving him much in the way of hope.
She'd easily parried or deflected each strike and was showing an annoying level of stamina akin to her cursed clan. His diseased lungs were beginning to burn and the woman's insufferably light tone in the conversation was starting to make his eyebrows twitch in annoyance.
Also, why wasn't she a drooling idiot by now? His terror-inspiring eyes weren't just for show and here she was three failed genjutsu into this conversation without a care in the world.
This mission was rapidly becoming a rather unpleasant memory he'd sooner forget.
"We will simply have to take him by force then." He would keep up the act until he knew for sure who she really was.
Keina stopped walking once she heard the yelling of shinobi, the clashing of blades, and the dying screams of humans.
"Oh, I think you and I will have all the time we need to discuss where you went wrong tonight."
Seeing no other alternative, Itachi squared up, a kunai slipping into his hand with one well-practiced motion to replace the charred one burning the damp grass at his feet.
Then something heavy hit him in the ribcage and he again had the weightless sensation of falling much to his ongoing annoyance.
The entire time he kept wondering why his Sharingan continued to fail him against this infuriating woman.
~III~
.
.
Sasori and Kira-chan
Another wave of poisoned senbon shredded the trees and small brush before the hunchbacked figure in a cone-shaped wave, said figure growing more impatient by the minute.
"Stop wasting my time!"
His voice was a guttural growl, low and threatening. His supply of senbon wasn't endless - even with the use of seals - and the pair of sentries he'd picked to make a distraction with were surprisingly adept at staying out of range.
It was almost as if... they were intentionally keeping their distance.
Without warning, the puppet master jumped up into the lower branches of a nearby tree just in time to avoid an enormous blast of flames. The explosion from what he presumed to be a well-placed fireball created a crater five meters across and snuffed out the flames that would normally be left behind.
Wooden eyelids narrowed as he looked around for the source.
Stepping into the now broadened patch of a clearing was what most would consider a physically attractive female wearing ninja attire, a face mask, and a hood. From beneath the dark cloth covering her head, he could see a flowing mane of brilliant crimson with orange and gold highlights.
Too bad he'd left such emotions behind long ago otherwise he might have been smitten with such a beautiful creature. Instead, he decided to immortalize her beauty by stripping her down and cannibalizing her body parts to make her into a living puppet, like himself.
Yes, that's exactly what he'd do. He would make her a masterpiece, perhaps not enough to replace his greatest work of art but enough of one to silence that jabbering firework tinker pretending to possess skill equal or greater to his own.
The has-been.
He hopped down from the tree Hiroko's tail unspooling from the cargo compartment as he tried to find the least damaging spot to stab her with it.
He had to pause when her entire body burst into a blue ball of chakra energy followed by sporadic bursts of noise that sounded like pockets of air exploding. The blue aura surrounding her body began to flicker with bright white lights that seemed to make her glow.
Then she did the most annoying thing he could think of and burst into flames.
Sasori had to frown at this latest development. Wood and fire did not get along well at all, especially with the lacquering process he utilized to make his masterpieces. 'This might prove problematic.'
"I'll be your opponent, ~Sasori-chan," she cooed.
He had enough time to blink in true surprise then she charged forward, a relatively large (for her size) zanbatou gripped over her head in both hands.
Holding his ground, Hiroko's tail shot forward only to be swatted aside. Once. Twice. Thrice. By now, she was firmly in melee range, the heat from her flames bringing the deadly scorpion tail made of metal first to a smoldering charred metal color (as his poisons burned to a flaky crisp) and then on to a nice glowing red as the metal heated up.
A worried glance showed that the woman's flames were also evaporating the lubrication in the gears of the tail, the poison coating the tip blackened and burned to useless sludge within minutes of their first clash.
Sucking on his teeth, Sasori vowed to remedy that problem by making his next batch of poisons more heat-resistant before sidestepping the next blow of her blade.
Hiroko's left hand raised launching three grenade canisters at his opponent point-blank.
Three muffled explosions followed as the puppeteer twitched a few fingers, the large puppet body leaping away as shrapnel pocked everything within five meters creating additional smoke obscuring all view.
"Tch, I hate waiting, especially for fools that know nothing of the genre."
It took a few moments for the resulting smoke to clear revealing a tree branch littered with his senbon and Flechette darts.
Another flick of Hiroko's tail intercepted a blow from his right quarter, the tank pivoting mid-jump as he shifted to face his opponent. 'Fast, but not fast enough.'
The girl was nothing if not aggressively persistent always staying within sword reach. He needed space to allow overheated components time to cool down before they seized up.
A puppet that couldn't move was a worthless puppet little suited for more than firewood.
The cloth mask covering Hiroko's mouth whipped to the side with the flick of a finger, the articulated jaw dropping comically wide as another stream of poisoned senbon blanketed the area directly in front of the Akatsuki killer.
Without hesitation, the redhead jumped up and over his head, the stream of weapons attempting and failing to keep pace. He heard a CLUNK! and felt Hiruko's frame shudder. Then the left leg locked up and Sasori noted the acrid smoke filling Hiroko's inner chamber.
Following instincts that once served him well as a Suna shinobi, Sasori flicked open the emergency hatch in Hiroko's chest with the twitched curling of a finger, dropped to the ground, then dashed forward just in time to avoid another earth-shuddering explosion. Looking back after getting clear he could see the still flame-shrouded girl standing amidst the burning husk of his favorite puppet.
It was his favorite even if the combat transport was limited in its adaptability. Now it was unsalvageable scrap. Tinder for a campfire in the woods.
"Oops," she muttered not looking remotely sorry for her actions.
"That's okay," Sasori responded flatly. "You'll replace him in my art collection until I can find another carrier to take Hiroko's place."
The surprisingly young shinobi's wooden head tilted to the side in curiosity. "Any one of your larger friends would make a suitable replacement."
He blinked in surprise as the woman's flames brightened from a deep red mixed with orange and gold to an angry golden color.
'Too soon for art lessons perhaps?' Sasori wondered. In any event, he would not risk another of his masterpieces to this woman's fiery temper. Especially not his prized art piece from his home village.
Compartments near his back opened up to reveal large fan-like sawblades. A flick of both wrists revealed open-ended tubes protruding from both palms.
"I believe it's time for your first real art lesson: Appreciating the Classics."
~III~
.
.
Deidara and Soyo-chan
WHOOMPF!
Deidara heard the by now dreaded sound of air being first violently compressed then expelled and his body, now fully conditioned by it during the change of tempo in his current fight, reacted without thought.
His feet touched bark on the next branch and he immediately shot straight into the air.
The branch space he'd just vacated shattered with the sharp crack of wood splintering into thousands of jagged splinters. The remaining limb plummeted to the ground ten meters below accompanied by the sound of groaning wood and crashing timber.
'Tch.'
Everything was going as planned at first. He'd been able to showcase some of his precision art while staying just beyond the reach of his initial audience, a pair of sluggish sentries dodging frantically through the rapidly vanishing tree line courtesy of the nukenin's explosives.
It was the first fireless explosion that changed the entire pace and interrupted his spontaneous art show leading to where he was now and that was the problem.
His new patronage, instead of adding to his playthings, consisted of a single female in dark battle clothing, which helped her to blend in despite his scouter, with an annoying capacity to target him from range.
How was that fair?
Another violent compression of air forced another immediate change in direction for the annoyed bomber and he noticed, for the first time, how far away from supporting his comrades - his original job by the by - he was being driven.
"Where are you, coward!"
Silence.
Yes, he was being driven. There could be no other answer for it. Worse still, he couldn't even see his attacker in order to retaliate since every time he stopped to find her (without a bird to provide distance and air superiority as they got shredded the moment he made one) she peppered him with a half-dozen of those damnable air bullets.
If he tried to create one, a wing or tail would get blown off before he could get altitude and he'd have to flicker away to avoid the pesky detonation.
He wasn't supposed to be on the receiving end of his own art!
As another destroyed branch suffered the wrath of his well-hidden pursuer, Deidara looked up to gauge just how far the enemy camp was and grimaced. He couldn't even see the glow from their campfires and the sounds of battle were a distant din to his accelerated heartbeat.
He kicked off of another tree limb arcing his trajectory once again the north so he could hopefully turn west only to have to painfully contort his body to dodge a rapid-fire burst of three more air rounds. The poor sapling disintegrated under the barrage, the younger tree crumbling under a cacophony of snapping lumber on its dying plummet to the earth below.
'She clearly doesn't want me returning, hnh.' His one visible eye narrowed in its search but another WHOOMPF just off to his right set him in motion again before he could get too comfortable.
It took one close combat clash with the woman to realize he wasn't her physical match. His robes and skin both bore the cuts and bruises as testimony, more of the former instead of the latter. No, he was going to need some sleight of hand to open up enough room to plan and strike.
Mid-range was equally out of the question. For each clay sculpture he sent her way, she either shredded them with balls of air or sliced them with half-moon discs he could barely register with the eye scope. Worse still she refused to strike any of his clay clones with anything other than that wind-coated sword, which cut through them like butter.
He needed to regain control.
It was madness! If it wasn't for this odd device he'd stolen from Ogawa-taicho back in the Explosion Corps before running off with the priceless kinjutsu, he'd of lost his head by now. The stubborn old fool hadn't known that the built-in telescope had a shorter wide-angle mode that could display high concentrations of chakra at close and mid-range.
Too bad it couldn't speed up his perception. Her attacks were fast and, except for the initial compression of air for the orbs, near silent.
He paused to dodge another short volley without breaking stride, more branches dying a violent death behind him.
Yes, it was safe to say he'd have been shredded beef without this thing.
The question now: How to get back to the main fight so he could do his job and not earn his own demerits for abandoning his post?
~III~
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.
Hidan, Naruto, and the Sirens
Naruto turned from the darkened shadows dancing among the trees to glance over his shoulder at his Sirens working to restore the injured.
"How much longer?" Dark blue eyes made nearly black in the moonless night creased in worry.
The Kurenai clone, Maeko, responded so the blonde and purplette wouldn't have to break their concentration.
"They're nearly done, Naruto-sama."
"Oh, that's just wonderful news for Jashin-sama. Wouldn't want an unhealthy sacrifice, would we?"
The three not tending to the wounded snapped around at the unfamiliar voice, Kaiyo grimacing at the rather large man mostly shadowed by the trees. Her mind couldn't help but dredge up that the red clouds on the man's loosely-fitting robes looked like dried blood in the flickering firelight that barely reached him.
Naruto knew this was going to be a tough fight even with all four Sirens and he had two unable to join in the fight while tending to the wounded. A frantic glance around the camp told him that any of the other Hatchlings were still distracted by the unbelievably large number of cannon fodder waging battle beyond the camp limits and would be unable to assist.
In his periphery, he noticed both Kaiyo and Maeko stepping up beside him, and, despite knowing that those weren't the names they were born with, he didn't care. He was just grateful that they were there beside him.
"Don't let him cut you with that scythe," he spit out between gritted teeth. Then a bit louder over his shoulder he added, "Finish up and we'll try to buy you some time. We'll try to keep him off of you."
At least he hoped they could buy some time. Despite not being the most accomplished fighter, Hidan was dangerous, perhaps one of the worst matchups for them considering his current lack of physical development.
He couldn't see the women behind him nod their heads in acknowledgment but everyone heard the crazy Yugakure nukenin cackling at the hilarious thought of the Kyūbi brat and a few women doing anything to keep him from what he wanted.
"You're a real riot, gaki." Stepping more into the light, Hidan's eyes took on a maniacal gleam as he drew from his back his favorite religious relic, the triple-bladed reaper scythe of his religion.
"I'm going to cripple you just enough so you'll be able to see me sacrifice your unrepentant whores in ritual purification to Jashin-sama." That gleam in his eyes morphed into a roaring flame. "Jashin-sama purifies all heathens that embrace her boundless mercy toward their sins."
Naruto swallowed. Hard.
Then he fought the urge to soil himself and instead motioned his hands out away from his body to his sides indicating that his Sirens needed to spread out.
Then he summoned his sword from its storage seal and set his feet shoulder-width apart in the first stance of the Stone Embrace form.
"Before we begin, heathens..."
His voice was almost conversational and all three of them blinked at the sudden drop in intensity of his voice.
"...would any of you like to make a donation to the House of Jashin-sama?" The psychopath held a genuine expression on his face as he blinked conversationally, his left eyebrow raised in question.
Naruto would have face-planted if they weren't in the middle of a serious life-or-death situation. "W-What?! You can't be serious!?"
Apparently, the religious serial killer was very serious, serious enough to have brought visual aids.
"The proper forms must be observed!" He rooted around in his robes with his left hand first, then switched his weapon from his right so that he could rummage around in the pockets there until he withdrew a clutch of papers with a sharp, "AHA!"
Fisted in that calloused grip was a handful of rumpled flyers. "See!" he barked triumphantly.
Three pairs of very confused eyes blinked back indicating that they did in fact not see.
"Jashin-sama's followers provide a full range of pre and post-mortem services. For a few Ryu, I can provide full funerary rights for the deity of your choice." The large man placed the back of his hand next to his mouth before conspiratorially smiling to add, "Just don't grade me to harshly on some of the finer details not found in Jashin-sama's house, tee-hee!"
Everyone not wearing red clouds was torn between creeping unease and moderate confusion.
To their absolute amazement, Hidan jammed his scythe handle-first into the ground then stepped forward and began to hand out fresh copies so they could follow along, pointing to regional funeral parlors that could attend to their needs or a list of holistic services he could provide should they not be able to afford the full "Afterlife Spa Care" offered on the third fold of the rather professionally crafted documents.
There were even trademark stamps circa four hundred years prior.
"...I can also arrange for natural burial or remains disposal if you're more elemental-nation-friendly." He glanced behind them to see if the two healers were following along then decided to hand a couple of extra brochures to Naruto "in case they wanted to read up on it later."
The girls blinked in confusion as he pointed to the all-natural cotton burial shroud, nodding politely (to buy time for a Guardian to return) when he pointed out that was a very popular option amongst "the ladies" these days.
He even added air quotes for Naruto's heathen wenches as he called them.
For his part, Naruto blinked in a total stupor before nodding his thanks and carefully slipping the papers into his trouser pocket hoping to buy more time.
"Just let me know your preferences before we get to that 'last breath' stage of combat." The mass murderer was casually waving his hands around as if that part of the fight was a trifling nuisance. "That's usually my favorite part and I," here he tittered like one of those crazy people Naruto used to see walking the alleys of the Red Light District back in Konoha, "tend to lose focus if I'm not reminded."
Hidan nodded proudly to himself then politely stepped back to where he was and resumed his combat stance, which amounted to him hoisting his scythe back and above his head.
"You think on that while we go through the ritualistic killing of you and your heathen whores."
Naruto sweat dropped noting how earnest the psycho seemed. He was almost resigned to it all.
Then all hell broke loose as Hidan dashed forward faster than the Walker could rationally follow. It was only blind reflex that brought his Eternal Fang up in a cross block that kept the blade from biting into his chest and neck, the blow knocking him from his feet and onto his back. Before the crazed immortal could step in to finish the fight, Maeko and Kaiyo both swung matching ninja-to up through sweeping arcs to cross over his prone body, their blades catching his scythe during its downward arc.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! You're pathetic, gaki! I think I'm going to enjoy sacrificing these heathen women more than you, but your suffering as they die will make it all worthwhile!"
Trying to ignore that the sharp tines stopped just barely a foot or more from his body - again - Naruto reverse military crawled out from under the predicted impact point before tumbling backwards to his feet, the girls disengaging to open up space and dodge the retaliatory swipes at their own bodies.
Naruto reset then remembered to channel earth chakra into his body to add some strength this time, then charged in once again.
Right as Hidan closed the distance, he swore loudly while switching directions mid-swing to disembowel the dark-haired kunoichi, who stepped back just enough to let the swing carry through unimpeded. The overswing put the nukenin off-balance allowing for Kaiyo to pierce straight through Hidan's back, her sword tip jutting out from the taller man's chest.
Hidan, of course, swore bloody murder then promptly arced the nasty weapon through the air to catch his attacker, who saw the switch, withdrew her blade, then stepped back. Naruto's counter swing stopped the blade cold-turkey allowing the taller brunette to pierce him through the neck from behind.
Unable to snarl out a fitting curse with metal piercing his voice box, Hidan continued his swing sending the scythe around and over his body to stab down on his other attacker from overhead forcing her to withdraw allowing him to leap back enough to draw room between them.
Knowing he would be facing hit-and-run tactics from his heathen opponents, the not-so-tactically savvy Jashinite made, for once in his life, a sound tactical decision for someone not so worried about suffering bodily injury.
He roared, broke from the annoying blonde heathen, then turned and charged the other blond heathen, his scythe leading the way in a furious barrage as he sought to overwhelm his smaller opponent and draw first, er, second... no, third blood!
He had only the one technique to his name and that, by Jashin's blessing, used no chakra to speak of. Beyond his divinely gifted strength and fighting skills picked up over more than a decade of violence on Akatsuki's behalf, he really had nothing else. Fortunate for him, his "Bum-rush-them-and-swing-like-crazy" tactic had never failed him before.
He never worried about the collateral damage he sustained and it usually got him the edge he needed.
Naruto, however, tried strafing left and right to avoid the killer's rush only to begin backpedaling as fast as possible to try and get some breathing room. He could see Maeko get punted away after her sword slipped Hidan's ribs drawing his attention long enough to bat her across the campsite.
Naruto tried to intervene anyway, his hands flying through seals for Wind jutsu meant to open up space for his girls.
His jutsu did little more than knocking the larger man back a few paces. He hadn't mastered anything strong enough to remove limbs or set the man ablaze. Even worse, Hidan was fast enough to close the distance before he could fire off more than a half-dozen hand seals.
It was enough to keep the three of them scrambling to keep from getting sliced up - and partially distracted, which made the fight very dangerous for the young shinobi.
In his frantic bid to escape the undead killer's reach, his sandal caught on something and his backwards momentum carried him skull-first into the hard bark of the nearest tree. There was blunt trauma, the rush of all air from his lungs, then pain, quickly followed by the momentarily blinding sensation of lights behind his eyes.
He heard Kaiyo's panicked voice, a yell as she charged immediately followed by the sound of metal piercing flesh.
He heard Hidan's chuckled curse at a "foolish heathen."
Then he heard the distinct sound of that abominable scythe slicing through the air before a third voice cried out in pain, a cry that slowly turned into a masochistic moan.
"My, you just might be a heathen after my own heart," he could hear the large man taunting.
His legs wouldn't work the way Naruto wanted, his heels digging useless furrows in the soft earth. His lungs couldn't seem to function well enough to suck in the air he needed but his damnable ears seemed to work just fine now that the ringing in his skull was dying down.
Part of him could feel the burn of the Kyūbi's chakra like molten lava beneath his skin, and he suddenly wanted to kiss her for the assist.
Instead, Naruto cursed inside at the oddly pleased tone in Hidan's voice. Then his heart fell even as the stars began to clear from his vision and he saw Ōzuoku's body straddling him with the three massive tines of Hidan's scythe sticking out through three different holes in her back.
She'd been nearly bisected.
To the right of her, Kaiyo was being held up by Hidan's left hand gripping the metal spike he carried for ceremonies, its sharp end pierced through the blonde girl's throat to keep her from falling.
Her eyes shifted enough to catch his wide-open peepers as a horrific amount of blood pooled up to spill from her smiling lips.
Then he saw the light fade from those same eyes as she gurgled her last fluid-filled gasp.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Hidan's head popped out to the side of Zuoku-chan's body, his smile utterly demented with delight. "I thought I'd see how they liked being pierced for a change."
His face took on a semi-serious glint as the psycho glanced briefly at both women before his head whipped back to meet Naruto's gaze, his insane smile rooted firmly in place again. "It doesn't seem like they enjoy it much, neh?"
He tossed them both away with the sickening sound of squelching bodies, both kunoichi landing crumpled up behind him as if they were worthless trash.
"Oh, well, looks like I won't get to keep my promise after all."
He sighed. He sighed as if it was turning into a rainy day that might spoil an afternoon walk and Naruto's eyes burned as his rage prickled. He could feel the bijū's chakra in his gut begin to rage as his feet scrabbled to gain purchase enough to stand.
"I suppose I should get to it then."
With that, Hidan shrugged as if to ask, "What can you do?" then raised his scythe directly overhead in both hands.
~III~
[Points of Interest]
[10] Bugaisha means outsider; someone outside of a group.
[11] Kekkei Genkai Hiden: C1 Explosive: (Snake - Tiger) The most basic and versatile form of explosive clay. The user molds their clay into figures, often resembling animals and insects. Depending on the size of the animal, the user can use them as a mount in order to fly. Some even share the abilities of the creatures they are modeling after, such as those resembling birds capable of flight. This feature makes them excellent for covert operations. The explosive power of these clay creatures is the lowest level of the user's bombs, but nonetheless effective.
~III~
Final Comments: Finally some action for those of you patient enough to weather the drought. I hope you're not too upset with me breaking it off here but this seemed like a decent spot being just under half of the original chapter I intended to post. I need to give you a reason to come back for the finale after all.
Also, I haven't forgotten about Kisame. I just wanted to give you guys one last chance to give me your thoughts on the whole brother question. Last call? Hang fires? Alibis?
The answer will be revealed during the next update. Hope to see you then!
~Siva'a