Chapter 81.

Sam read again the details of the college fund for the baby. He would have arranged one himself, had Dean not done it, but it meant a lot to him that this had been Dean's first thought on finding out he was to be an uncle.

He remembered the clashes of their youth, the way Dean had reacted to any talk of college with fury and scorn and how it had hurt. He remembered falling asleep to the sound of Dean and their father, muttering resentfully about how he couldn't wait to leave and hearing it had made him more eager to do so.

He had never wanted to get away from Dean, but getting away from his disappointment had seemed important. Away at school, he could remember the good times, but in those last few years before he left, seeing that bitterness was unbearable. Den had thought he hated them both. Hell, even Sam had sometimes thought he hated his father, but leaving had been about survival, about one last-ditch attempt to avoid becoming everything he didn't want to be. He smiled ruefully, everything he now was.

It still hurt Dean, he knew. In with all the scars from Hell, his many losses and the deep, abiding guilt, there was still a generous portion of pain from Sam's abandonment. He didn't really talk about it anymore, but it was there and Sam hated that it was still a part of both their lives.

The decision to ensure that the Huntling got the choice, to go to college or not, was an unexpected one. It spoke to Sam on so many different levels and was supposed to. It showed his forgiveness, his understanding and that he was not the same, resentful youth he had been. He was still the strong, supportive big brother he had been born to be. He was extending his care for Sam into support for his child. He was saying that this time, the Winchester who left for college would not have to slam the door shut behind him.

Eileen came in with two plates of salad. "I made us some lunch." she said.

"You didn't have to do that." said Sam.

"When Charlie said you were in the library, I thought you might be studying lore and I didn't want you forgetting to eat." She put the plates on the table and sat down opposite him. She took the documents from his hand. "It was good of Dean to do this."

"Yeah, it was. We should do the same when he has a kid. If that ever happens."

"I hope it does. I want ours to have cousins to play with."

"I know there are complications, but he and Anael might have kids."

"Either Nephilim or humans. I know Dean hates the idea of Nephilim, but Jack turned out great."

"So did I," said Sam, "And I had demon blood in my veins. Dean was a good influence." He took out his phone and checked for messages, although he knew there had been none. "Things must be going okay," he said, "Nobody's texted to say there's a problem."

"Were you expecting them to?" she asked.

"Not really. Sarah handles Dean very skilfully, but I know it wouldn't take much right now to make him doubt and if he even seems to doubt, Anael will get scared."

"On the other hand, having gotten to the point where he can admit that there's a relationship, I'd say he's doing well. He'd never have said that if he had doubts."

"Unless he thought telling us would make him less likely to act on them." said Sam.

"You may be overthinking this."

"More than he is?" he said.

"Probably not." she admitted.

He took a forkful of salad, chewed it thoughtfully and then swallowed. It was the simplest of meals, but it was made for him with love. One part of life with Eileen that he was never going to take for granted was the frequency of those little gestures of love, a welcome and unexpected as desert rain, that seemed to make his life bloom in astonishing ways. "You," he said, "Are the best chef in the world."

"Don't ever tell Dean that." she said, "He works a lot harder. This is only salad."

"Itis delicious salad."

"I see what Dean means, when he says you get a little over-excited about lettuce and tomatoes."

"A lot more than lettuce and tomatoes here." he said.

"Are you sure you're not just head over heels in love?" she said.

He grinned. "That obvious, huh?"

"Pretty obvious."

"Kinda hard to hide." he said.

She speared a slice of cucumber with her fork and took a bite. He briefly envied the cucumber.

"Head over heels." he mouthed.

She chuckled. "I hope you still love me when I'm fat."

"You mean with our child? Because that ain't fat."

"I love the way you think." she said.

"Except when I overthink. I know that's annoying. I know I should let Dean live his own life."

"How many times would he have died now if you left him to do that?"

"A few more than he has, maybe." he said.

"Dean need you. Always has, always will. I know how that feels. I also know that you have plenty of love to go around. The baby and I don't lose out because you still care about the brother who's stood by you your whole life."

"People have said we're co-dependent."

"Only people who don't know you, or don't know what it means.. You're brothers and you know Dean better than anyone else. You know his fears and weaknesses. You know every way he tries to wreck his own happiness. I worry when you're worried, Sam, but I'll never ask you to walk away. You can't be happy if he's not."

"No, I can't and now it feels like he has a chance."

"I think that too and if he needs your support and advice to make it happen, you have to be there for him. I want you to know that I know it doesn't mean you're not here for me. You love Dean. Of course you do and I understand, but I love you and sometimes I like to check in and make sure you're okay, because you put him and me and everybody else before you. Just remember to eat and sleep, okay?"

He nodded. "I do. In fact, with you around, I sleep a lot better," he gestured to the plate, "And eat a lot better too."

She picked up his phone. "Nobody's texted because everything's fine. Sarah's being so happy for him that he feel he can be happy about it himself and you know she's treating Anael just like she treats me. She's like you, Sam, so much love to give to all of us. She's been waiting to adopt Anael and you know Anael needs a family around her."

"I encouraged him to go to Sarah. I thought it would be good for both. Good for Sarah too."

"And you were right." she said. She looked down as the phone vibrated in her hand.

"What does he say?" he asked.

She read the text. "Quit worrying. We're fine. I'm eating cookies and Anael is communing with the bees and Sarah."

He took the phone from her and sent back, "Wasn't worried. Having lunch with a hot hunter."

"What's for lunch?" came the reply.

"None of your business."

"Oh, something green. I'll bring you home a cookie."

Sam laughed. The dismissal of green food as food was typical Dean, but so too was the impulse to bring him something he deemed more filling. He sent back, "Bring one for Eileen too."

"She's eating for two and one's a Winchester. I'll bring her plenty."

San showed Eileen the exchange. She signed, "I get more than you."

He signed back, "You're much more pretty than I am,"

"With that hair?" she said softly.

"You're not too big to go over my knee, young lady." he said.

She gave him a look.

"Too strong, too clever and a little too homicidal, but not too big." he said.

"Say I'm short and I'll head-butt your 'nads." she said.

They both laughed. She was the perfect match for him, sweet and silly and as strong as tempered steel and apart from the night terrors and the occasional vivid dreams of her burning on the ceiling, their life together was everything he wanted.

One thing he had not expected was that he and Dean would end up in such similar relationships. He had always thought they were very different people, but they had each ended up with a strong, witty and sarcastic woman and both were very happy about that.

Even better, his wife and Dean's girlfriend were good friends. The bunker was too small for resentments and rivalries, as they had often proved with their own. He knew Dean had worried about the effect of adding more people, but so far, it had been a great success. Having the women around just made everything a thousand times better and seeing his beloved Eileen, after a very solitary life, suddenly surrounded by loving sisters brought him immeasurable joy. She deserved that and she loved it.

He sent Bobby a text. "Quit worrying. Dean is fine."

The reply was swift. "I don't sit around worrying about you two chuckleheads!"

Sam grinned. "Bobby's relieved too." he said.