Chapter 83.

Before they left for the journey home, Sarah helped them load up plenty of cookies for everyone. Then he disappeared into her study, promising to be back in a moment. After several moments, Anael looked at Dean and said uneasily, "Do you think she's forgotten us?"

He laughed quietly. The thought was so ridiculous, only an angel would have considered it. "No," he said, "Sarah never forgets a thing."

He was still looking at him thoughtfully. She said, "Thi was good, being here today, with Sarah."

"Very good." he agreed.

"I get why you love her."

"It's why she loves me that's a mystery." he said, trying to sound as if he were joking.

"I get that too." she said, "Thanks for being so open, with her and with me."

"Something about this place." he said, "It just has that effect."

"How does it feel, when you talk to her?" she said.

He grinned. "If you're thinking there's something between us, there's not."

"No, serious question." she said.

"Oh crap," he said, "I hate those."

"I know, but come on. You were doing great in the kitchen."

There was something about her smile. He wanted to please her, even if it meant being a little more forthcoming than he'd intended. "Okay, it's hard to describe. I say things to her I could never say to Sam. She has a way of listening at you that makes you talk and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it can get a little … scary, I guess, but it also feels …" He looked at the house, reassuring himself that Sarah was still occupied elsewhere.

"Yes?" said Anael.

"I don't know. I feel exposed and uneasy at times, but also kinda free, you know? Like theres one person I can say anything to."

"And now you have two." she said and it was weirdly and suddenly true and he hadn't expected it to happen that fast, but he had said things in the kitchen, admitted to failings and weaknesses and she had been very non-judgemental about it.

"Yeah," he said, "I really feel like I do."

"It helps to talk to her, doesn't it?"

"It does." he said, "Did it help you too?"

"She made me feel like I matter." she said.

"Well, you do," he said, "And not just to her."

"That's sweet." she said.

"I know it seems like hard work to get me talking, but it's a million times easier than it used to be. I am trying."

"Hey, you did great in there." she said, "I'm in no position to criticise. It's hard for both of us to talk about stuff."

"It should be harder for you than for me. I always had Sam." he said.

"I never really felt much need to talk. There never seemed to be any point Whatever it is, bury it and move on."

"Well, that's a chorus I know all the words to." he said.

She smiled at him and slipped her arm around his waist. "I think we can do this together."

"I think, together, we can do anything." he said.

Sarah came out of the house with an armful of books. "Hey," said Dean, "Since when do you carry the heavy stuff?"

Sarah laughed. "I was carrying books around before you were thought of." she said.

"All the more reason to let me do it now."

She walked past him and put the books into the trunk. Turning to Anael, she said, "A few on basic bakery and cooking, a few on philosophy, some on social interaction. Humanity 101. Keep them as long as you need to."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." said Anael.

"Now, you have my number, you call me any time you want. You come here any time, too, with or without Dean. You treat this like your own home."

"Don't overdo the welcome," said Dean, "I need her at the bunker."

Sarah hugged him. "I promise you, she's planning to stick around." She tidied his hair in a motherly gesture. "You try not to avoid me so long in future. I'm an old lady. I don't have forever."

"Jack says he can keep you alive and well for pretty much as long as you like." he reminded her.

"That's not an excuse. You know what all of you mean to me."

"Yeah, I know," he said, stepping back, "But I needed to keep you out of it for a while."

"While you tried to keep yourself out of it."

"Yes." he said.

"I would never have tried to push you in either direction." she said.

"I know, but you have a way of making me think about things."

"And that's bad?"

"Not bad, but sometimes, I need not to think. No, what I mean is that sometimes, I'm afraid of the conclusions I could come to." He saw the little nod she gave at that, approving the revision.

"Well, now you're together, so there's no problem and no reason to stay away."

"That's right." he said.

"And I promise not to interfere or tell you how to navigate this."

"But if I need advice …"

"You almost never need advice, but if you do, I'm here. I'm also here if you need a sounding board. And I'm here for either of you if you just need a hug and a cookie."

He kissed her cheek. "And you call if you need anything, okay?"

"I always do." She embraced Anael, who looked surprised, but quickly joined in with the hug. "Be happy, my beautiful new daughter. I love you for loving this reprobate."

"Thanks for everything." said Anael.

They got into the car and drove away, with Anael waving to Sarah for as long as she was in sight. Dean turned on the music again.

"How do you feel?" said Anael.

"Good." he said, "That went a lot better than I expected."

"You thought I'd screw it up?"

"No, I thought I would." It was weird how driving the car that had been his for decades still made him think of his father, not that thoughts of him were ever far away.

"I think I need to see Dad next," he said, "Tell him about us."

"Does this mean you want me to go to the Nexus with you? Because I went for the wedding, but that place is too much like Heaven for me. If you need me to be there …"

"I don't." he said quickly, "They met you at the wedding and that's gonna have to do. I'll go today, if that's okay with you." That was another odd thing, asking permission. He didn't think she would say no, she was hardly the clingy type, but being in a relationship called for such courtesies.

"Of course." she said, "Maybe I could do something with Eileen."

"Good idea." he said.

"Will you take Cas with you?"

That reminded him of Cas. Angels had their insecurities and she was afraid that if he discussed her with Cas, Castiel's ambivalence about the relationship could discourage him.

"No," he said, "Cas has bigger stuff to deal with. I'll ask Jack to take me there."

"Does Jack know about us?" she asked. She touched an earring, probably unaware of the gesture herself and certainly ignorant of the clear message it conveyed to him. She still feared Heaven's anger, even though she had become fond of the current ruler.

"He's omniscient, but he doesn't pry, so I'm not sure, but if he doesn't know, I'll tell him. It'll be okay. He won't get angry. He's a good kid."

"Who also happens to be God." she said.

"He's nothing like Chuck. He never has been."

"If he said he didn't want us together …"

"Then it's a perfect time for the kid to learn we don't always get what we want. You came to me for protection from Jack when we were anything but friends. You think I'm gonna ditch you on his say so now?"

She didn't answer and he knew she was still uncertain of his commitment and she had good reason for that. Jokes had always been one of his favourite ways to break tension. "I hope the new God's not a jealous god," he said, "Because you are way hotter than him."