A/N
DeniiXloveZelda Thank you so much, again, for taking the time to review. Though I can see the story is visited well, for some reason zero fucks are given by other readers to let me know whether or not they like the story. It's a good thing I wrote this because I needed to get it out of my system. But, I guess this is the way it always has been. Readers usually treat stories like fast food, not realising that an author might actually appreciate a word of support.
Anyway, you can expect more regular updates now as the story is completely done! It will have 24 chapters in total. All that's left to do is a final edit before posting. I hope you enjoy!
The air felt unusually balmy in the Dreaming, shedding its recent muted colours and stagnant stillness. Instead, vibrant and cheerful hues now adorned the surroundings, perfectly matching the idyllic setting that Hope had always imagined while practising 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' under Leila's tutelage.
The memory of countless hours spent mastering that particular song was still very vivid in her mind. This was the very road Hope used to envision Mary travelling on her way to school, accompanied by her frolicking little lamb.
Green pastures extended as far as the eye could see, nestled between gentle rolling hills adorned with exuberant trees. Sheep speckled the landscape, their presence mimicking the fluffy clouds that dotted the blue sky, creating a harmonious tableau of white against blue.
Dee tugged Hope along as they traipsed through the lush surroundings, a bright smile setting her face aglow. "Are you excited about our date next week?"
Hope snorted at that. "Yes, I am! I can't wait to see what you're like when in hundred percent human mode. Are there things I should know about? Things you'd like to do, like to experience, to eat, drink? Things you don't like to do?"
"That changes with each aspect," Dee told her. "I've had really fun days, but also really quiet and introspective days. They are all very precious to me. It's a good way to remind myself why I exist. Oh, there is one thing! As the day progresses, things may get a little murky for me. I start out knowing exactly who I am and what I'm doing, but by the time I have to go back, that self-awareness is mostly gone. So, keep that in mind."
Talking about her death-day… Death. Hope had to think of Emily again. Who'd suddenly died in her sleep last night. Complications, her father had let her known in a quick message very early this morning. Hope wondered if Emily at least had gotten to meet Finn.
"Are you thinking of Emily?"
"What, you have psychic abilities now as well?" Hope shot her a wry look.
Dee simply smiled at her. "Who needs those when you telegraph your every emotion across your face!"
"I do not!"
"Do too."
Hope grinned. "Na-ah."
And Dee laughed out loud. "Ya-ah!"
"Na-ah!"
"Ya-ah!"
They continued like that for a while. Like the two kids, brother and sister from the Disney Movie 'The Emperor's New Groove'.
Hope leaned her head against Dee's shoulder, while they were walking. It was not very comfortable. It made Dee snort out a laugh.
"How did it go, with Emily?" Hope pulled herself upright again.
Dee gave her such a warm and radiant smile, it was bit like watching a beautiful sunrise.
"She was not afraid. In fact" – Dee gave a short little chortle – "she was expecting me. She was a little nervous about the journey she had to make, so I held her hand, until she was ready to go. And, then I remembered that, since she'd died in her sleep… she didn't necessarily have to go."
"What?"
"Dream found us," Dee explained. "He tried his best, but, I could tell Emily was more than a little intimidated by him."
"He has that effect on people."
Death rolled her eyes at that. "He offered her a place in the Dreaming, should she want it. And she did. He put her conscience in the creature you named Finn."
That stopped Hope dead in her tracks. "Emily is a dream now? She's… Finn?"
"Yes. According to Dream, she was completely taken by it. When he asked her what role she would like, she chose that. She wants to visit the dreams of dying children, like her, and offer them the thrill of flying high through the clouds."
Sure Dee! Tell me some more wonderful things about your brother! Make sure I fall a bit harder! Hope thought to herself, feeling a bit rebellious.
"Will I… I mean… will your brother let me see her? Some time?"
"Of course!" Dee looped an arm around hers and squeezed it gently.
They were both quiet for a bit and, as usual, Dee was awfully perceptive about her mood, so she mercifully changed the subject.
"I still can't believe Dream actually lets us meet Hob Gadling here. And now he admits they're friends! You're doing, I'm sure of it!" Dee's smile stretched from ear to ear.
Hope huffed out a little laugh. "Oh, please! I merely pointed out that friendship is much better enjoyed when it's not limited to one meeting a century. Or a year." She gave Dee a pointed look.
Dee nudged her in a playful manner. "I was just looking out for you. I didn't think it was healthy to hang around death so much. What are you going to do about it? Kill me?"
They both laughed at the absurdity and Hope felt much better in these safer waters. "That would be utterly pointless," she finally said, and, feeling just a bit wicked she added, "But I might consider trapping you in a fishbowl for about a century, demanding immeasurable wealth and immortality."
Dee gave her a mildly terrifying look. "Too soon?" Hope asked.
"Oh, yeah!" Dee said with a nod. "Please, don't make that joke again for at least another century, or two… maybe ten. The immortality thing though… It's a done deal, if you want it."
She said it so airily. Too airily.
Hope shook her head. "I'm as close to immortal I'm ever gonna be, Dee. And you know what? I didn't even have to accept your brother's precious boon!"
"You talk as if boons are so awful!"
Hope gave a shrug of her shoulder and said, "In Morpheus' case, they kind of are!" Then after a few beats of silence. "So, why exactly is it so surprising that your brother now accepts his acquaintance with Hob as friendship?'
"Ah, so he didn't tell you about that? Not surprising, considering how they parted ways. Oh, how offended he was."
"What I know about Hob is whatever you told me about him through the years. And… Morpheus was offended, by what?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.
"Hob accusing him of looking for friendship."
Hope barked out a loud laugh. "Oh, my God! No! That's so terrible! And yet, I can totally imagine how that went down!"
She pursed her lips in a pout, knitted her brows together and said, deepening her voice. "How dare you! How very dare you! To even suggest that a supreme being such as I, would ever have a need for friendship from the likes of you! A mere mortal!"
"It's uncanny," an unfamiliar voice said behind them, "how spot on that is! Are you sure you weren't there?"
And Hope actually screamed in surprise.
She whirled around, eyes wide, to find a stranger standing before her, smiling broadly. He was not unattractive, his dark hair perhaps a bit longer than was strictly fashionable, but he had a pleasant countenance, and a nice smile.
Unlike Morpheus who was shooting daggers at her.
"Of course, this is the moment you decide to show up!" she bristled, then promptly lost all self-control when a desperate need to defuse the tension clawed its way up.
And that never resulted in anything good.
Yet, there was nothing, nothing at all, she could do to stop herself. It was as if she were observing the scene from outside her own body, here in the Dreaming. And, to her infernal dismay, she heard herself say, "I'm so sorry for the heat of outrage you must surely feel radiating from him right now. I'm still training him to develop a sense of humour."
Inside she was screaming. What the hell was wrong with her?
Hob gave a tentative little laugh, but it faded at the sight of Dee with a hand over her mouth.
That look of pure shock on her face said it all.
Morpheus would not let this insult slide. He was still too far removed from humanity for that, and the quirks and peculiarities that came with it, such as a rather unfortunate brand of humour.
If there was one thing she hated, it was appearing weak in front of those who might take advantage of it. And there was no doubt in her mind that Morpheus would do just that.
Dredging up a sliver of courage that seemed to have slithered away down to her toes (and she only managed to coax up a pitiful amount, kicking and screaming, while the rest remained hidden, trembling and cowering), Hope took in a shuddering breath.
Well… in for a penny, in for a pound.
She lifted her chin defiantly and squared her shoulders. "So, are you going to punish me?" Her voice carried a taunting edge.
"Enough," he said, with that awful quiet voice that boomed like thunder, "I will not tolerate being mocked in my own realm in front of my family, in front of my friend."
Well, she had certainly secured her place in the 'no-friend zone,' much like she had done to him. And it felt awful! It felt like stepping from a sauna into a raging blizzard.
"Out of respect for the promise I made to my sister," he continued, "I will not banish you from this place. However, you are no longer welcome here. Not right now."
With those words still ringing in her ears, Hope suddenly fell backward, or was pushed backward, and she landed squarely on her ass on a bed of sharp gravel. She gave a small yelp of pain and she winced as she moved to her knees, rubbing her sore behind.
A quick glance around revealed she was smack-dab in the middle of absolutely fucking nowhere, with gravel paths and stony hills stretching as far as the eye could see, all beneath a bleak, pale sky.
Just great.
Feeling utterly miserable, she flopped back down and let out a groan as she covered her face with her hands and rocked back and forth.
Why? Why? Why? she silently chanted. Why couldn't she behave like a normal person around him? She was nice! Most of the time. She was kind! Also most of the time. She knew how to behave properly… Except, apparently, when he was around, then all her manners went straight out the window. With him, she was like a laughing hyena and she'd just go 'blegh' and blurt out the most absurd things. Was she really that infatuated with him that she couldn't even think straight any longer? Because if that were the case she hoped it would soon stop already!
Now she'd probably even offended her best friend.
And that was the thought that made her want to burst into tears.
Dee was kind and empathic and very aware of her younger sibling's most glaring character flaws, and she was not afraid to confront him about it or poke some fun at it, but to an extent.
This was a colossal mess, and Hope had no idea how to navigate through it. Dealing with men was supposed to be easy, and after Derek she'd had no problems with it whatsoever.
Or rather, she'd had no problems avoiding them altogether.
After that particular heartbreak and discovering her own romantic complications, she had decided they simply weren't worth it. Who needed them, right?
With the exception of one friends-with-benefits sort of situation, that had ended on a rather bittersweet note, she had distanced herself from romantic entanglements, limiting her interactions with men to strictly professional matters. Along the way, she supposed, she had lost the ability to act normal around them beyond those boundaries.
The difference now, primarily, was that before it didn't matter how she behaved around men because they didn't matter to her. She had Dee, she had her music, and that had been more than enough for years. But now...
God, she was such a fool! Because she just had to go and fall for one of the Endless. The one with no sense of humour and zero-tolerance for impudence, no less. Feelings she had tried so hard to carefully keep repressed because she knew feeling that way was not going to do her any good.
And it would be so much easier if he could just… just…
Argh! Damn his arrogant hide! He didn't have to treat her with such ambivalence, being kind and thoughtful one moment and then so rigid and superior the next. Things would be easier for them both if he could just make up his mind about either liking her or despising her, instead of tormenting her with his mercurial moods that were as changeable…
She groaned. Who the hell was she kidding? He was Dream! His entire nature was changeable and fickle! Just like she was, it would seem, because she too seemed to have a hard time deciding on how she wanted to view him.
Which was a big lie. She knew what she wanted, but that was out of the next question.
She simply couldn't decide what the next best thing would be. For now being angry at him was the safest bet.
It was better than to think of her own mortifying behaviour. Still, she could feel a wave of shame and heat quickly spread to the roots of her hair, until it felt like her face was on fire.
Glaciers, blizzards, the Siberian tundra, jumping into a frozen lake... She tried to think of very, very cold things… frozen things… to quell the flames in her cheeks.
Morpheus' heart.
Well, what do you know.
That did the trick.
Hope set up straight again and let out a shuddering breath and muttered softly, "Bastard."
"Who's a bastard? Not me, I hope?" a voice chimed in.
Too tired to even act or look surprised, Hope merely raised her gaze and she didn't even blink seeing a portly, middle-aged man before her. He looked very kind, a bit like the grandfather she'd always longed for but never had. His antiquated attire, a nod to eras longe gone, only seemed to emphasise the kindness that exuded from behind his spectacles. The forest green Inverness cape draped over his shoulders, and the moss green tweed suit he wore lend him an old-fashioned charm.
And for some stupid reason she couldn't define, an overwhelming urge to collapse into the comforting embrace of his broad chest welled up within her. Simply because he looked like he'd care and soothe her sorrows. In other words, not like someone who would abuse her moment of weakness.
Drat… Hope quickly dashed a tear away. "No," she assured him, her voice barely a squeak. "Just the…" Her voice faltered. She couldn't even bring herself to utter his name, or title, so she extended her arms, gesturing to the vast space around them.
"Ah," he responded, with such understanding, promptly more tears started to fall.
She wiped them away as quickly as that first one.
"Yes, he can be quite temperamental. Some things never change. Though, he has changed, as I have. Lucienne told me about you, how you've become friends. Imagine my surprise when I witnessed him admitting he was wrong to her. It was very nearly an apology, believe it or not! The Morpheus I knew was never capable of that."
"How…?" Hope struggled to form a coherent sentence, fearing that speaking at length would lead to a breakdown. "A dream?" she weakly attempted.
The man offered her a gentle smile, displaying his ability to comprehend her fragmented words. "I am a dream, indeed. With Lord Morpheus absent from this realm, I… well, I suppose I grew curious and I started to wander, all the way into the waking world. It wasn't my intention to–"
"To abandon your duties, much like you're doing now, again?"
Her entire body froze hearing that voice–his voice. And her breath left her abruptly, as if she'd been pushed from a mountain and she was now plummeting to her death. Her vision blurred, and she cautiously turned her head, glancing over her shoulder to see him standing there, looking completely inscrutable and absolutely regal in his kingly raiment.
It made her feel absurdly small and incredibly foolish for blurting out such things about him.
"No, my lord! I merely left, temporarily, because I wished to meet her."
What?
Hope snapped her gaze back at the elderly man.
"You wished to meet Hope?" Morpheus inquired, his voice tinged with puzzlement.
"The saviour of the Dreaming? Yes, my lord," the man responded, his tone laden with a hint of veneration.
Oh, crap. That old codswallop again.
Hope could sense Morpheus suppressing an eye-roll, his patience tested.
"I would have eventually found my way out, Fiddler's Green," he stated.
Fiddler's Green? But, then he's one of the dreams that had escaped!
"I'm certain you would have, my lord, but it had already been a century. Who knows when you would have managed to escape on your own terms? And let us not overlook her profound personal sacrifice to set you free," Fiddler's Green countered.
"It wasn't that big a–" Hope attempted to interject, but Fiddler's cane suddenly appeared before her mouth, quite the dramatic gesture to silence her.
"You may not perceive it as a great sacrifice, but that does not diminish its significance," he told her, his eyes deadly serious. He then faced Morpheus again. "A young mortal woman, in the bloom of her life, willingly giving up that life to liberate one of the Endless? Subjecting herself to such heinous treatment to achieve it? I genuinely wished to meet her, my lord, to tell her how very brave I think she is, and to offer my most sincere appreciation," Fiddler's Green expressed, his words carrying undeniable weight.
It was difficult to argue against that point, especially considering the delicate state of her emotions, because now she was really on the verge of crying and unable to mount any further argument.
Morpheus seemed to ponder those words for a moment, his gaze drifting back towards her.
She wished she didn't know precisely what he was seeing at that moment… her red-veined, puffy eyes, wet lashes, pale and blotchy face, and runny nose. Quite the charming and appealing sight. Not!
A faint smile then began to form at one corner of his mouth, though it didn't fully bloom. It was a wry, almost melancholic smile, but at least it could still be categorised as one. It was far removed at least from the scowl she had feared, and for that, she was immensely grateful.
"I came here to reprimand you, Fiddler's Green, for again abandoning your post, but once more, your words ring true," Morpheus spoke, his voice lowered. "Hope has served this realm with great honour and a genuine heart, despite not being a part of it. She did not hesitate to bear the steep cost to ensure my freedom. I assured her I would not forget, and yet I did so easily. I shall not forget again."
His gaze landed back on her and suddenly the other corner of his mouth lifted, completing the smile. "I must admit, you do test me sorely at times."
She released a blubbery, relieved laugh. "Someone needs to keep you on your toes."
"Not that much," Morpheus countered before redirecting his attention to Fiddler's Green. "It is time for you to resume your post again, Fiddler's Green. I had planned a small gathering there after all, with my sister... and my friends." He gave Hope a meaningful look, and a flush of embarrassment warmed her face.
"Of course, my lord. Right away. However, may I have one final word with her?" Fiddler's Green requested. Morpheus inclined his head, granting permission, and Fiddler's Green turned towards Hope.
"It has been my absolute honour to meet you, Hope Ericks. Whenever you desire, please do come and find me. Wander through my meadows and verdant glades. Rest beneath my trees and by my babbling brooks. And, if you feel inclined and generous, why not strike up a song? After all, I am called Fiddler's Green for a reason, eh?" Fiddler's Green expressed warmly.
"You were a place? We will not speak again?" Hope inquired, her voice tinged with a hint of regret.
""Perhaps, one day, when I am allowed to roam a bit," he replied, leaving the possibility open.
"In that case, I'll come and visit you whenever I can. And, if I can find a way to bring my violin into the Dreaming, I will definitely play for you," Hope promised, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"You go ahead, Fiddler's Green," Morpheus said, his attention shifting back to Hope. "We shall join you shortly, after I steal a moment of Hope's time."
Fiddler's Green nodded in acknowledgment and gradually dissipated into the ether, leaving them standing alone. With the departure of his enchanting presence, the air turned noticeably colder, and Hope couldn't help but wonder if now would be the moment Morpheus would punish her after all. He approached her with measured steps and she instinctively scanned her surroundings, in the hopes of finding something she could use to shelter her against Morpheus' potentially wrathful disposition
The last step he took brought him alarmingly close to her, ignoring, again, her personal space. She didn't dare to meet his eyes, so she stared at the collar of his black shirt, as though she might strike up a conversation with that.
"Will you not look at me?" he gently coaxed.
He would ask that of her.
"I would much prefer to converse with you, rather than the top of your head," he insisted.
Was that humour she detected in his voice?
She laughed softly, so at least a part of her perceived it as humour, but she stubbornly kept her eyes on the collar of his shirt. "It's not that simple for me, to look into your eyes," she then admitted.
"A guilty conscience, perhaps?" he provided, his tone inflected with the barest hint of humour.
"No! Look, if you are going to be friends with mortals, you have to learn we don't always take things too seriously. Least of all ourselves or our friends. But, I do realize that for you such whimsy, I guess, may be completely foreign to you. I panicked, earlier, and when I do…" She gestured at her mouth and mimicked a vomiting motion, indicating her tendency to run her mouth.
"You do realise you're conversing with my throat? Or my shirt?"
"It's pleasant company. And it's better than… Morpheus, you have stars in your eyes. Galaxies!" she exclaimed, her voice fraying with awe and maybe a hint of unease. "I can see the constellations in them, and if I look very closely, I might even make out the Plough. Do you have any idea how disconcerting that is?"
"I can assure you, they are of a very regular blue colour right now," he replied with a touch of amusement.
She huffed out a laugh. "I seriously doubt that."
"Very well, then I shall refrain from presenting you with the gift I had prepared for you," Morpheus stated and this time she could actually hear he was teasing.
Since when did he do that?
"You're gifts, if the stories are to be believed, are usually not known for their kindness. So, if you were thinking of giving me something like, the 'Gift of Eternal Waking', then no thank you."
To her surprise, this coaxed a wondering chuckle from him. "Rest assured, the gift I have for you is nothing like that. You have my word."
Fine.
Hope subtly squared her shoulders and gently tipped back her head to look into his eyes.
It was a bit like staring at an eclipse without protective glasses.
Yes, his eyes were blue, so intensely blue she could almost feel them as a physical ache inside of her. And she could still detect a couple of bloody stars within their depths.
A faint smile hovered on his lips, so the git knew!
They were standing so close that Hope couldn't help but notice other things.
Like how a darker ring of blue surrounded the lake of his iris, how scattered silvery sparks danced inside of them, how his eyelashes were the blackest of black… it seemed such intimate things to know about a person.
As intimate as the way he was now looking at her.
She could almost hear someone whispering in her ear. "Kiss him. Discover what he tastes like. Don't you want to know what it's like to feel his tongue sweeping–"
No!
If anything, what she really wanted, was to simply be held by him. But she was afraid that would shatter her. Because it could never be anything more. But, God, to be held by him, to be pressed closed to him. To be cherished. Just that.
Hope cleared her throat and took a step backward to create some much needed distance.
To find, to her astonishment, that Morpheus had suddenly procured a violin from seemingly nowhere. It was a fine-looking instrument at that, radiating an air of elegance and craftsmanship.
"This was meant to be Antoni Stradivari's magnum opus. He crafted it in his dreams, but, despite his relentless efforts, he could never succeed in bringing its physical twin into existence in the waking world. He would have named it 'Regalato dai sogni'… Gifted from dreams."
Her gasp nearly sucked all the air from the Dreaming and she imagined a chorus of angels singing a triumphant 'Hallelujah!' while a beam of divine light illuminated the instrument.
"Are you telling me," she said, her voice low, emerging from the deepest depths of her very soul, "that this is…"
"I'm sure of it."
She was completely struck dumb, in awe, not quite believing her own eyes, and all that seemed to keep her from floating up and away, was its own gravity pulling her in. Her heart raced with sheer delight of being in the presence of such magnificence.
"Take it." He then laughed softly. "It's yours."
"I can't." Her voice cracked with emotion. "It's… priceless!"
He huffed a laugh. "It was never created or appraised in the waking world, even so, I assure you it has a price."
Ah, and here come the strings attached.
"The price is a song."
She blinked her eyes in confusion. "What?"
"At present, there's a wager underway between my sister and Hob Gadling. He claims to be an excellent fiddler, asserting his extended lifespan has granted him ample experience and time to perfect his skills. My sister, on the other hand, persists that no amount of practice can surpass your natural talent."
Wait, what?
"Your sister and Hob are… what?"
He gave her a smile that could only be interpreted as devious. "Why don't you join us and discover for yourself?" With those words, he unfurled his coat and draped it over her, and before she could even gasp, they appeared in an area of such resplendent beauty, it literally snatched her breath away.