This chapter has a place in my heart.

Year Four: The Silent Note

Academy Cafeteria - 11:28

Xavier knew it wouldn't be good news when he saw Merida approaching him while holding a bowl of mac and cheese. He just wanted to enjoy his sandwich in peace but here she was sliding into the seat across from him. His appetite vanishes when she starts grinning like a maniac.

The campus just reopened for the new year, the start of the semester. Most of the cadets won't even return till the middle of the week when courses resume. Out of all cadets to run into, it had to be Merida Barton.

"What?" Xavier asks her just to get this conversation over with.

"We're going clubbing tonight," Merida states.

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are." She stabs her fork right in the middle of his sandwich. "I have three passes for the New Year's special event at The Silent Note, Communications' Boiler Room and Concrete Beach. I'm using one and Victoria's using another. You're coming with me."

Xavier takes her fork out. "No and why?"

"You're the only one back from the holidays."

"Speaking of, why are you here so early? I didn't think I'd catch you till midterms when you'd technically have to be here."

"Funny." She doesn't laugh. "I came back for The Silent Note."

"I came back for work and you know that."

Merida rolls her eyes. "You came back cause you lost a bet and the consequences were work-related. Check your email."

Xavier pauses. "No."

"Check it."

Xavier takes his phone out of his pocket and opens his email. He sees an unread email from Agent Vander with the subject line about his RA work today. When he opens it, he sees that Vander is giving him the day off today effective from noon till noon tomorrow. The timing of the day off is odd since it's the start of the semester which is usually when he's most needed for cadets and their issues.

He narrows his eyes when he looks up at Merida who's already grinning with her mac and cheese.

"Perfect aim, perfect timing," he states.

"Clubbing," Merida repeats. "We're going later."

"How did you know I had a day off when I never get those?"

Merida shrugs. "I have my ways."

"What the fuck did you do?"

-o-

Earlier - Agent Vander's Office

Merida knocks on his open door and invites herself inside without a gesture from Agent Vander. He had his back turned to the door since he was on the phone but that didn't stop her. She waits, taking a seat across from his desk and scrolling on her phone. Agent Vander looks at her and ends the call a few moments before giving her his attention.

"Relax, I wasn't listening," Merida reassures. "But if I was, I would advise that you let us fly more quinjets around campus."

"If it was personal, I would've closed the door," Vander responds. "Cadet Barton, what can I do for you?"

"Can Xavier have the day off?"

Vander pauses. "Were you like that growing up? Knocking on Captain America's door and asking if Xavier and Angela can come out and play?"

"He lived two hours away so no, not really. Him and Angela just ran to my place."

Vander smiles a bit. "Barton, you know you can ask him yourself."

"I know but he's Xavier. He's a stubborn social hermit and I need him for something that I don't need you to sign off on but it's just the push I need."

"Are you talking about The Silent Note?"

Merida stares at him. "How did you know?"

"Explains why you're even on campus this early in the school year and why he'd oppose before you even asked." He opens his laptop. "Don't worry, I'll handle it."

-o-

The Silent Note - 22:46

Xavier wondered why The Silent Note was having an event where tickets were necessary, but then it all made sense to him when he was handed a pair of headphones that were playing music when he put them on. Merida and Victoria were dancing, drinks in their hands, blending in with the crowd.

Admittedly, Xavier would rather take his headphones off and stand silently. He doesn't want to be here one bit.

When Merida approaches him, she removes her headphones from one ear and he does the same. He smiles watching everyone dance to a techno beat with neon lights.

"Thanks for coming," Merida says sweetly as if he came here on his own will.

"Shut up," Xavier responds.

"You've spent the past four years putting others before yourself. I've spent twenty-one years of my life putting myself first. Let's have some fun."

Merida slides on her headphones and hands him her drink as she dances over to the fond to get another one. He sips, not fond of sour shots but he'll take it since Merida had Victoria paid for it.

He walks to the beat, passing people who pay him no attention since they're focused on the music flowing between their ears. Time goes by so quickly yet so slowly on the dance floor. People lose themselves in the music, more so now that only they could hear it. Lights swirl and blend, mixing with the cocktails in hands. Dancing and drinking, the trippy sensation of removing your headphones for even a bit and hearing the music end. Sneakers squeaking, people bumping into each other, jumping, dancing, bumping into one another, breathing.

Another song starts with a powerful ballad ringing in his ears. A melodious voice swirls in his brain, lyrics blending with his thoughts and sending shivers up and down his spine. His heart pounds as time slows. He's in the middle of the dancing crowd and needs to leave, but the moment he turns around he sees her standing there.

His heart stops as he stares at her. His Britney Braun. She's smiling, her face glowing as she enjoys a night in the club.

He walks up to her and watches her through the silence. It's the moment he realizes what music does to people. They hurt but feel good at the same time.

Xavier doesn't know what to say. Should he say something? She's not here but she … she's here. Something's stuck in his throat. He wants to spend the rest of the night looking at her. Where are you? How are you? What happened to you and Apollo? I miss you. I love-

Britney moves her hands towards his face but he doesn't grab them no matter how much he wants to hold her. Instead, she slips on Xavier's headphones, leaving one ear free. She leans in closer and smiles, a small laugh exhales.

"It's Britney, bitch."

Xavier jumps a little as a loud beat from a Britney Spears song starts blasting through his ears. His Britney isn't here anymore and hasn't been for a while so he slides his headphones off and wears them around his neck.

He walks through the crowd of dancers who are now jumping and screaming the song. Xavier stops at the bar, waving off the bartender when he walks over and asks if he wants anything. But he still has a shot glass placed in front of him. That's when he notices a second glass and Victoria approaches him to take the shot.

"Drink something bad?" Victoria asks, removing her headphones. "Merida has some shitty taste at this place solely cause she despises Communications. Or maybe not enough?"

"I think I'm seeing things," Xavier responds casually.

Victoria nods. "Ah, so you've had the good stuff. What were you seeing?"

"My ex."

She shudders. "Never mind, the bad stuff."

Xavier looks down, fiddling with his shot glass for a bit before taking it. He exhales sharply. Sharp whisky. "No, the good stuff."

Victoria's dark blue lips purse into a smile. "Good."

"I should step out. I bet my dorm building is burning or something."

"You're a shitty liar." Victoria grins. "You're on a day off."

"I've been told. Made my parents proud that way."

"I'll pass the message to Merida but lie better."

"Appreciate it. Text me when you and Merida head back."

Victoria gives him a thumbs-up and slips her headphones back on as she returns to the dance floor.

-o-

Ashton: Merida told me you're clubbing. I doubted every word.

Xavier: I left.

Ashton: That sounds more like you. I've been to The Silent Note before. It's trippy.

Xavier: My ex randomly appeared.

Ashton: Been there.

Xavier: I have one ex.

Ashton: Yeah, that's weird. How are you holding up?

Xavier: Good question. I hate calling her my ex.

Xavier didn't go back to his dorm. He barely made it out of the club. He sits outside The Silent Note, freezing on a bench in the Academy courtyard. He's glad it wasn't snowing because if it was, he would've returned to his dorm. The cold and fresh air barely calms him down but it's better than barely being able to breathe in there.

"Fuck," Merida states. "It's cold as shit out here."

Xavier turns around and Merida sits in the empty spot next to him. Or, not exactly sit. She's perched on the metal bench like a bird.

"What the fuck happened to your RA Emergency?" Merida asks. "Victoria said there was a contamination leak."

"What?" Xavier asks. Maybe Merida is too drunk to remember that he technically has the day off.

Merida shrugs. "She sucks, literally and figuratively but anyways, what's up?"

"Hated the song they started playing."

"You could've just taken off your headphones. Which song?"

"If You Seek Britney - Amy."

He fucked up. Merida nods and he doesn't meet her eyes. Instead, he looks at his breath that's visible when he exhales.

"I should've known something was weird when you left during a Britney song. Queen of Pop is your guilty pleasure."

Xavier laughs. "Shut up."

"I won't lie, if I started trippin' and seeing Britney too, that'd be my sign to leave. Look, it's been four years and I'm not going to tell you shit because what do I know? I just have to say that I didn't pester you about it but you didn't answer if you thought Apollo and Britney were coming back. I don't like bringing it up but I should know why you're keeping that answer to yourself."

"Cause I don't have one."

"Really?"

"Because I don't believe myself if I said yes or no."

"A solid maybe."

Xavier nods.

Merida pats his shoulder. "Wanna go back inside or are you gonna deal with your dorm's possible fire or contamination issue?"

"I'm not gonna deal with either of those. It's my day off. Thanks for making me come here."

Merida shoves him. "Shut up."